🧢 Captain's Log

Sat 24 Sep 2005 🧢 1st XIv Chelsfield CC · HomeformWDDLW

Saturday 24 September saw us welcome Chelsfield CC, and the coin, as is so often its habit against me, landed the wrong way up — Chelsfield elected to bat, and off we trotted into the field.

They set about building a total with quiet efficiency, closing on 161 for 5 from their 45 overs. X Vaughan was the chief architect with a polished 58, well supported by H Abbett's 32, and between them they threatened to bat us out of the game before tea had even been considered. Credit to the attack, though — Michael Beeney was the pick of the bowlers with 2 for 37, Jon Harris chipped away for 1 for 15, and I managed to prise one out myself for 17 runs. Darren Styles, meanwhile, bowled with the sort of miserly discipline that makes batsmen mutter into their gloves, sending down two maidens for good measure.

A target of 162 is never a formality, but Richard Piper made it look positively leisurely, cruising to an unbeaten 58, with Mark Christmas playing a handsome supporting hand of 45. I came in and added 25 not out, glad to get bat on ball and see us home in good order, seven wickets in hand and overs to spare.

All told, a thoroughly satisfying afternoon's cricket — disciplined bowling, a calm and composed run chase, and the sort of result that makes the long drive to the ground on a Saturday morning entirely worthwhile. A good day for the club, and no arguments from the captain's chair on that score.

Wed 21 Sep 2005 🧢 Midweek XIv P Penshurst · AwayformDDLDD

The road to Penshurst on a fine Wednesday evening, and for once the coin fell my way. I had no hesitation in choosing to bat, and it turned out rather a good idea, if I say so myself.

Daniel Thirkell was in irresistible touch, carrying his innings to 69 not out, while Richard Piper made a handsome 52 and Craig Sands weighed in with an unbeaten 45 to help us to a formidable 228 for 4 from our forty overs. Runs enough, I felt, to make Penshurst's evening rather uncomfortable.

So it proved. Matthew Carter did the damage with the new ball, 3 for 16, well supported by Michael Beeney's 3 for 29 and two miserly maidens from Darren Styles on his way to 2 for 14. K. Exel battled hard for a well-made 50 and Rob Hunter chipped in with 46, but with D. Smith, J. Heaseman and M. Woolley all back in the pavilion without troubling the scorers, Penshurst were bowled out for 171 in the 37th over.

A day to remember on the honours board too: Richard Piper brought up 4,000 career runs for the club, Matthew Carter passed his hundredth wicket, and Thirkell's 69 eased him past Mike Elworthy into ninth on our all-time run-scorers list. Craig Sands and Michael Beeney continue to lead the season's run and wicket charts respectively. A comprehensive 57-run win, two points banked, and a very pleasant drive home.

Sun 18 Sep 2005 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv TC Tenterden CC · HomeformWLDDW

Sunday the eighteenth of September brought Tenterden CC down to Linton Park, and I'll confess I rather fancied our chances with the bat first. So it proved, more or less: 180 for 7 from our forty overs, built on a fine 38 from Russell Baldwin and handsomely backed up by Craig Sands' 37 and Jack Jenner's 28. Not a total to frighten anyone into early retirement, but enough, as it turned out, to be going on with.

Defending it is always the nervous part, the bit where a captain paces about pretending to look calm. Tenterden gave it a proper go, C Hobbs top-scoring with 31 and O Barnes unbeaten on 27, and for a while 126 felt like it might come rather easily to them. It didn't. Michael Beeney was the difference, 2 for 10 off his allocation with three maidens thrown in for good measure, bowling with the sort of miserly discipline that makes batsmen question their life choices. Jon Harris chipped in with 2 for 16 and Tim Wright with 1 for 15, and between them they choked the innings dead at 126 for 6.

A win by 54 runs, then, and two points banked without much fuss in the end. It also leaves me sitting proudly atop the season's run charts on 383, while Michael continues to terrorise batting line-ups with 12 wickets to his name. All told, a thoroughly earned victory, and a very pleasant way to spend a Sunday.

Sat 17 Sep 2005 🧢 1st XIv WC Wateringbury CC · HomeformLWDDL

Saturday 17 September 2005, Wateringbury CC away — well, at home to us, and they had first dibs on the elements after winning the toss and sticking us in. Not the start I'd have chosen, but the lads set about it with good cheer. Richard Piper played the innings of the day, 42 full of good sense, and I found some form of my own alongside him with 34, while Adam Jackson chipped in a tidy 22 as the pair of us built a second-wicket stand worth 50. All rather serene until it wasn't — 171-6 became 183-9 quicker than you could pour the tea, and we limped home to 188/9 off our forty, distinctly relieved to have a total on the board at all.

Then came the fun part. Wateringbury never got close, subsiding to 112/8 despite watchful knocks from Ian Hickmott (22) and Les Blackburn (20). Adam Jackson, clearly not satisfied with his batting, ran through the top order with 2-5, well backed by Gareth Davies (2-15) and Ian Hollingworth (1-16), while Darren Styles bowled two maidens of the sort that make batsmen question their life choices. Alan Gibson and David Burbridge departed without so much as troubling the scorers — harsh, but cricket often is.

Milestones all round, too: Jon Harris sailed past 2,600 career wickets and Michael Beeney reached 500 of his own, feats that rather put the rest of us to shame.

A 76-run victory, two points banked, and a thoroughly satisfying afternoon's work — the sort of result that makes the drive home feel considerably shorter.

Sun 11 Sep 2005 🧢 1st XIv CX Chairman's XI · HomeformDLWDD

Sunday 11 September saw us host, and having called correctly I did what any captain with a settled top order does and stuck us in - though whether that counts as tactics or just habit, I couldn't honestly say. We batted with real purpose, posting 221/6 from our 40 overs. Richard Piper led the way with a well-crafted 58, Christopher Thirkell chipped in a tidy 53 of his own, and I found some rare rhythm for 41 - which, for the record, is the only mention my name gets in this report, thank you very much.

Defending it proved rather more fraught. The visitors chased with real intent, Peter Whyte playing the innings of the day with 87, well supported by Clive Newman (29) and Tim Thirkell (27), and got home with 7 wickets down and two balls to spare at 222/7. Matthew Carter did the damage up front with 1-22, Gareth Davies (1-25) and Jack Jenner (1-27) both bowled their part, but eight byes past the gloves told their own story of an afternoon that never quite settled.

Beaten by three wickets in the end - close enough to sting, honest enough to accept. There's plenty to take from the batting and the bowling figures were far from disgraceful, but a tidier day behind the stumps would have made all the difference. We'll dust ourselves down, have a word about those byes, and come back stronger next week.

Sat 10 Sep 2005 🧢 1st XIv Holborough Anchorians CC · HomeformWDLWD

Saturday 10 September 2005 saw Holborough Anchorians CC pay us a visit, and having lost the toss – some habits never change – we found ourselves inserted and duly set about repairing the damage to my pride with the bat. Richard Piper played the innings of a captain's dreams, 75 not out and still there at the close, while Russell Baldwin's 65 gave the innings real backbone. Kevin Presneill chipped in with 35, and the Anchorians' bowlers were kind enough to gift us 52 extras besides. All told, 267/4 from our 40 overs was a total that had me purring into my tea.

Defending it, we made early inroads that would have graced a highlights reel: David Sibley, Jack Kennard and Kevin Banfield all trooped back without so much as troubling the scorers, and Matthew Carter was magnificent, 3-19 to lead the attack, with Gareth Davies chipping in for 2-17. Only Chris Skilton, unbeaten on 44, stood between us and victory, and stand he did – the Anchorians closing on 75/5 from 17.1 overs before the umpires, sensing the game was up, called it a draw.

A word for the run-charts too: Baldwin now sits third in our 2005 averages with 379 for the season, and Carter fourth in the wickets with 17 – form both men can be rightly proud of.

So, honours shared in the end, though on the balance of the afternoon's play I'd say we were much the happier side driving home. A grand effort, a game short of a result, but never short of character.

Sat 03 Sep 2005 🧢 2nd XIv LR Lord Raglan · HomeformLLWLW

Here's the match report:

Saturday just gone, we had Lord Raglan round for a visit, and I won the toss with what I like to think was my usual air of quiet authority before promptly deciding to bat. As decisions go, it was one of my better ones. Nigel Thirkell set about the bowling with real purpose, carrying his bat to an unbeaten 59, while Trevor Back chipped in a handy 36 and I added 28 of my own down the order. Chris Quirk, it must be said, will not want reminding of his contribution — a golden duck that he'll be hearing about at the bar for weeks yet. All told we finished on a healthy 198 for 5 from our 40 overs, a total that felt like runs enough to be getting on with.

And so it proved. Ross Brice was magnificent with the ball, snaring 2 for 5 to lead the attack, with Chris Quirk and Dave Todd both weighing in with 2 for 11 apiece — Quirk atoning handsomely for his golden nothing earlier in the day. L Handcox top-scored gamely for the visitors with 20, but there was little else to trouble the scorers, T Hutchinson departing without troubling the scorebook at all, and Lord Raglan were all out for a modest 89 in 28 overs.

A 109-run victory, then, and a thoroughly good day for the club. Trevor Back continues to climb the season's run charts, Dave Todd likewise among the wickets, and I toddled off home rather pleased with the lot of us.

Sat 03 Sep 2005 🧢 1st XIv Sissinghurst CC · AwayformWWDLW

Craig Sands hit a fine 67 not out, well supported by Kevin Presneill (24) and Stuart Cheesman (22), plus a generous 26 extras (thank you, Sissinghurst), and we posted a healthy 197/5 from our 47 overs after I won the toss and had no hesitation batting first on what looked a decent track.

In reply, E- Bugge gave us a proper working-over with 63, and with M- Daley (23) and Andrew Knowler (20) chipping in, Sissinghurst always looked like they had enough wood to trouble us. But the bowlers kept plugging away — Michael Beeney the pick of them with 3-36, Matthew Carter tidy with 2-13, and Gareth Davies bowling with real discipline for his 2-55 and three maidens. Trevor Wright departed for a duck without so much as a nick to show for it, and my own 20 with the bat felt like a fair contribution to the cause. They closed on 178/9 from 41 overs, agonisingly short.

A word of pride amid the toil: Michael Beeney's haul nudges him past Darren Styles into 12th on the club's all-time wicket-takers list — a fine spot to be in company with. Craig Sands, meanwhile, continues his rich vein sitting 2nd in this season's run charts on 381, while Mark Christmas leads the wickets column with 25.

In the end, honours shared, a draw with neither side quite able to land the killer blow — and on a warm September Saturday at Sissinghurst, that felt about right.

Sun 28 Aug 2005 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv SC Sennocke CC · HomeformDLLWW

Sunday 28 August 2005, and Sennocke CC were the visitors at Linton Park. I won the toss and had no hesitation in batting first — a decision I shall claim full credit for, regardless of what actually happened out in the middle. We compiled a handsome 197 for 7 from our 48 overs, with Richard Piper playing a fine hand of 47 and Craig Sands chipping in with 28. I managed 48 myself, which felt rather satisfying, though I shall let others judge whether it was more graft than grace.

Defending that total is always the nervous part of the day, and Sennocke did not make it easy, reaching 177 all out only in the 43rd over. Martyn O'Neil gave us a proper fright with a well-crafted fifty, 69 in all, but the rest of the order rather crumbled around him — Dan Callingham departed for nought at our hands. Mark Christmas was magnificent, three wickets for just 13 runs including three miserly maidens, with Matthew Carter and Jack Jenner both weighing in with two apiece. A red-letter day too for Mark, who brought up 1,000 career runs for the club — a milestone the whole side raised a glass to.

Craig Sands continues to lead our 2005 Sunday 2nd XI run charts with 371, and Jon Harris tops the wicket-takers with 21. A fine win by 20 runs, and a thoroughly satisfying afternoon's cricket. Onwards.

Sat 27 Aug 2005 🧢 1st XIv SC Shipbourne CC · AwayformWWWDL

Lost the toss at Shipbourne, asked to field first — never the news a captain wants on a warm August Saturday, but the lads took it in good spirit and made it count. Shipbourne were bowled out for exactly 100, Keith Willis top-scoring with 25, but the day belonged to Matthew Carter, who ran through them with a glorious 5-14, five maidens testament to a line and length they simply couldn't leave alone. Dennis Salisbury (2-18) and Mark Christmas (2-20) mopped up admirably in support — not a run given away lightly all afternoon.

Chasing 101, we barely broke sweat. Russell Baldwin and Mike Elworthy strolled us home unbeaten, Baldwin compiling a classy 53 and Elworthy a watchful 41, the pair never looking remotely troubled. Ten wickets down, none for us — the sort of chase that lets a captain enjoy his tea rather than chew his fingernails.

Worth a special mention: Baldwin's 53 sees him leapfrog Keith Hatcher into 20th on the club's all-time run-scorers list, and he now sits third in this season's 1st XI run charts with 314 to his name. Mark Christmas, meanwhile, continues to lead our 2005 wicket-takers with 24 scalps and shows no sign of slowing down.

Two points, thoroughly earned, and a ten-wicket win to boot. If every Saturday could go this smoothly, I'd never need my nerves settled by the clubhouse tea urn again.

Sun 21 Aug 2005 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv Harvel CC · HomeformLDLLW

Sunday 21st, sun out, coin down, and for once it landed our way — I had no hesitation putting Harvel in the field, a decision that by teatime looked rather clever, though I'll take no great credit for it now.

We batted with real purpose. The openers put on 79 before the first wicket went, and just when that platform threatened to go to waste, Craig Sands and Russell Baldwin added 103 for the second — Craig making a fine 89, Russell seeing us home unbeaten on 59, with James Piper chipping in 30 for good measure. Twenty-seven extras arrived gratis, which we accepted without complaint. 211 for 4 off our forty overs felt like a total with some steel in it.

And so it proved. Harvel never quite got going, Stewart Dimmick's 37 and Mark Dennis's 26 the only real resistance, and poor Richard Stevenson departed for a duck without so much as troubling the scorers. Michael Beeney was the chief destroyer with 3 for 12, Jon Harris and Matthew Carter took two apiece, and Tim Wright bowled three miserly maidens to squeeze the life out of any recovery. From 118 for 7 to 126 all out took no time at all — 33.1 overs of good, honest bowling.

An 85-run win, then, comfortable in the end though never won on paper alone. Craig Sands continues to top our Sunday run charts, Jon Harris the wickets — the engine room of the side, both of them. Onwards, in good heart.

Sat 20 Aug 2005 🧢 1st XIv HC Hollingbourne CC · HomeformLWWWD

Saturday brought Hollingbourne CC to Linton Park, and with the toss won I sent them in, a decision that looked shrewd for about four overs and considerably less shrewd thereafter. Tom Osborne compiled a fluent 47, with Mike Donald (33) and Trevor Scrivens (29) offering sturdy support, and between them they dragged Hollingbourne to 171 for 9 off their 45. Not all was gloom with the ball, mind: Mark Christmas was superb, snaring 4 for 38, Michael Beeney chipped in with 2 for 36, and I managed 1 for 12 from my allocation, five of those overs maidens, which I shall be mentioning at the bar for weeks to come. There was even a small mercy for the ledger keepers, as Dave Hinks departed for a golden duck.

Our reply, alas, read like a cautionary tale told to junior members. We were bowled out for 59 in 34 overs, a chase that never so much started as apologised its way to a close. Kevin Presneill's nought earns him this week's unwanted entry in the Duck Club, and he will not be short of company reliving it.

There is, at least, a silver lining for the romantics among us: I sit atop the 2005 first-team run charts with 757, and Mark Christmas leads the wickets column with 22, so individually the season still has some shine to it.

Collectively, though, this was a chastening 112-run defeat. Heads up, chins raised, and back to the nets we go.

Wed 17 Aug 2005 🧢 Midweek XIv Tunbridge Wells Wednesday CC · HomeformWDDLD

Wednesday 17 August 2005, and the honour of hosting Tunbridge Wells Wednesday CC fell to us — an honour somewhat undermined by losing the toss and being put straight into the field, which is never quite how one wants the afternoon to start.

We recovered from an early stumble — 5 on the board and already a wicket down, the sort of start that has a captain reaching for the tea urn rather than the scorebook — thanks to a splendid third-wicket stand worth 135. Daniel Thirkell was the chief architect, cruising to 74, while Trevor Back anchored things beautifully with an unbeaten 55, and Craig Sands chipped in a tidy 26. Even the extras got in on the act with a generous 30. We closed on 212 for 4 from 43.3 overs — a total that felt like a proper platform.

Defending it, I rather enjoyed myself with the ball, picking up 3 for 56, with Daniel Thirkell following his batting heroics with 2 for 8 and Tim Wright chipping in with 1 for 27. But Tunbridge Wells were not to be shaken off — an opening stand of 54 set them on their way, and D. McClintock's 36, backed by Foskett's 29 and Simon Skinner's 28, kept them within touching distance throughout. They finished on 190 for 8.

So honours shared, and a draw when neither side could quite land the killer blow. A fair result, all told — though I suspect the tea was the best part of the day.

Sun 14 Aug 2005 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Harvel CC · AwayformWWLDD

Sunday 14 August, and the fixtures gods sent us to Harvel. Lost the toss, asked to field first – not the afternoon I'd have chosen, but Harvel CC don't consult the away captain on such things.

We restricted them nicely to 140/8 wasn't quite it – 140/5 from their 40, if I'm honest, with Richard Stevenson (51 not out) and Murray Saunders (50) putting on a stubborn double-fifty stand that had me checking my watch rather more than I'd have liked. Stuart Cheesman, fresh from his own heroics with the bat, did the real damage with the ball too – 2-19 – while Matthew Carter and Jon Harris chipped in a wicket apiece to keep the scoreboard honest.

Earlier, batting first, we'd posted a solid 167/8 from our 40 overs. Cheesman was the story of the innings, sailing past fifty to finish on 52, and I was glad to lend a hand with 44 of my own – a knock that, I'm reliably informed, nudged me past Clive Newman into 10th on the club's all-time run-scorers list, which is the sort of thing you try to look modest about while secretly beaming. Matthew Carter's 30 rounded out the middle order nicely, though poor Tom Motum and Jack Jenner will want to forget their ducks entirely – these things happen to the best of us, usually on the days we'd most like them not to.

We got over the line by 27 runs. A thoroughly satisfying day out, and with the runs still flowing at the top of the season's charts, long may it continue.

Sat 13 Aug 2005 🧢 1st XIv Headcorn CC · AwayformWLWWW

Saturday, 13 August 2005, away at Headcorn — and for once the coin behaved itself. I called correctly and had no hesitation sticking us in first, a decision that looked rather clever once the runs started flowing.

Our innings was built on a proper captain's knock, if I do say so myself: I made 119, three figures at last, and rarely has a bat felt so obedient. Craig Sands chipped in handsomely with 41, and Stewart Morrison added a tidy 32, as we posted 224 for 6 from our 45 overs — a total with enough substance to make Headcorn's afternoon tea taste a little less sweet.

Then came the small matter of getting them out, which — rather satisfyingly — we did, dismissing the entire Headcorn side. Quite how a match in which one team is bowled out entirely still ends level is one of cricket's enduring mysteries, and not one I intend to solve in this column; the scorebook says draw, honours shared, and who am I to argue with the scorebook.

Off the field, there was real cause for celebration: Craig Sands brought up 4,000 career runs for the club, a landmark built one gritty innings at a time and thoroughly deserved. And with today's effort, I find myself leading the 2005 first-team run charts with 749 for the season — though I'd trade the honour gladly for a home win next week. A curious afternoon, honestly, but a satisfying one.

Wed 10 Aug 2005 🧢 Midweek XIv The Mote CC · HomeformLWDDL

Wednesday 10th August, and we welcomed The Mote CC in what promised to be a proper day's cricket — and duly delivered one.

Losing the toss, we were sent into the field, and if you're going to bowl first, this was the way to do it: tight, patient, and rewarding. Richard Coles gave us the full village-green treatment with a well-made 68, finding willing company in Howard Waters (38) and Matthew Coles (31), the pair adding a stubborn 62 for the third wicket. But Michael Beeney had other ideas, snaring 2-28 with two maidens thrown in for good measure — the sort of spell that makes tea taste sweeter — well supported by Matthew Carter (2-34) and Mark Christmas (1-12). The Mote closed on 191/7 from their 49.2 overs, a target that felt very much gettable.

And so it nearly proved. David Castle played the innings of the day, an accomplished 73, with Craig Sands right alongside him on 59, the two of them stitching together 86 for the third wicket after we'd stumbled to 1-1 and rather wondered what we'd let ourselves in for. Sadly the middle order rather fancied a collective nap — Russell Baldwin, Adam Jackson and Mark Christmas all departed without troubling the scorers, and your captain, leading from the front as ever, managed a golden blob. We finished on 172/8 from 44 overs.

Honours shared, then — a draw that flattered neither side into complacency nor punished either into despair. Two good half-centuries, one wonderful spell of bowling, and one captain who really ought to stick to the toss-calling. All told, a fair result and a fine afternoon's cricket.

Sun 07 Aug 2005 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Cowdrey CC · HomeformLWWLD

Sunday the 7th of August, and the toss did what tosses so often do to me – went the other way. Cowdrey CC elected to bat, and we duly spent the best part of forty-four overs standing about admiring Lewis Wright's 74 and Gary Marshall's unbeaten 60, with Glen Warner chipping in a watchful 32. They closed on 214/8, a total that felt considerably larger in the field than it does on paper. Credit where it's due, though: Michael Beeney was magnificent, bowling with real discipline for 4-61 including two maidens, and got fine support from Mark Christmas (2-20) and Dennis Salisbury (2-34). We also had the small mercy of three Cowdrey batsmen departing without troubling the scorers – Thomas, Dipple and Blagg all ducks at our hands.

Chasing 215 was always going to be a tall order in our overs, and so it proved a sedate rather than swashbuckling reply. David Castle played the anchor beautifully for 44, with Mark Christmas (22) and Craig Sands, unbeaten on 20, keeping things ticking. I contributed my own small share to the effort along the way, part of a season in which I'm rather chuffed to say I currently lead our Sunday 1st XI run charts with 326 – though Michael Beeney, tellingly, tops the wicket-takers with 10, and today was exhibit A as to why.

In the end, 130/3 from our 34 overs left us short of the win but well clear of embarrassment. A draw, then – honours shared, pride intact, tea presumably very welcome.

Sun 07 Aug 2005 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv SC Selling CC · AwayformWLDLL

Sunday 07 August 2005 saw us make the pilgrimage to Selling CC, and for once I actually lost the toss without complaint — they had first use of what looked a decent surface, and off we trotted into the field to see what damage could be limited.

As it turned out, not much was required of us in the way of damage limitation. Alexander top-scored with a watchful 22, Cottrell chipping in with 21, but beyond that the innings had the structural integrity of a garden shed in a gale, subsiding from 103 for 6 to 116 for 9 as the lads sensed blood. Poor Christopher Hambrook departed without so much as troubling the scorers, which I'm reliably informed is character-building. I'll allow myself one line here: I had the ball doing rather pleasing things and finished with 4 for 18, with Russell Baldwin (2 for 3) and Bob Jenner (2 for 34) mopping up either end, while Tim Wright bowled three maidens with the quiet menace of a man who simply refuses to be hit. All out for 122.

Chasing 123, the Pipers set the tone in style — Richard's unbeaten 56 and James's 31 put on a breezy 62 for the first wicket before either fell, and Richard saw us home with a fifty of real substance. Tom Motum's golden duck was the sole blemish, and our wicketkeeper had a torrid afternoon of his own, leaking 8 byes. No matter — five wickets to the good, and a very happy drive home.

Sat 06 Aug 2005 🧢 2nd XIv Town Malling CC · HomeformLLLWL

Tim Thirkell's Match Report – Linton Park CC vs Town Malling CC, 6 August 2005

Lost the toss again, which these days I take as a personal insult from the coin rather than pure chance, so we found ourselves in the field on a warm Saturday with Town Malling settling in to bat. They ground their way to 166 all out from 33 overs, Guy Kemsley the chief architect with a well-crafted 75, though it was Dave Todd who stole the afternoon's headlines with a superb 5-34 — the sort of spell that has the tea urn talk turning admiring for weeks. Darren Styles was tidiness personified, 2-14 with three maidens thrown in for good measure, and I chipped in with 1-7, which I shall modestly describe as useful rather than remarkable. Poor Jack Wilkinson departed without so much as a nibble at the scorebook.

Chasing 167, we made a proper meal of it, eventually limping to 169/9 from 45.5 overs. Kevin Presneill was the mainstay with a composed 56, well supported by Mike Elworthy's 37, while Dave Todd, having done his bit with the ball, returned the favour with the bat by contributing precisely nothing. Twenty-nine extras did their bit too, and frankly we needed every one of them, especially given our own generosity in the field — 12 wides and 11 no-balls handed back with the sort of largesse usually reserved for Christmas.

Still, Mike Elworthy continues to lead the 2nd XI run charts and Darren Styles the wicket charts, proof there's genuine substance behind the chaos. We scraped home by a single wicket — nerve-shredding, undeserved by our discipline, but a win is a win. A good day for the club, even if my heart hasn't quite recovered.

Tue 02 Aug 2005 🧢 Midweek XIv BC Bexley CC · HomeformDLWDD

Lost the toss on a warm Tuesday afternoon and duly found myself condemned to the field — Bexley CC elected to bat, and for much of the day they looked rather pleased with that decision. George Wells was the chief tormentor, compiling a magnificent unbeaten 109, with Sandeep Bains (41) and James Rumbles (25) offering sturdy support. The openers gave them 75 without loss before the breakthrough, and an 84-run stand for the second wicket did the real damage. Michael Beeney toiled manfully for 2-53, Mark Christmas chipping in with 1-25, but 238/3 from 42 overs always felt a stiff ask.

With the bat, Craig Sands played the innings of the day, a fine 57, well backed by James Piper (35) and Rob Jackson (33), and a battling 54-run sixth-wicket stand kept our hopes flickering. Michael Beeney's afternoon took a further dent with a golden duck — not his day at all — while our extras column laboured to a generous 26. Amid it all I quietly brought up 22,000 career runs for the club, a personal landmark I'll allow myself a small, private smile about before getting back to the matter in hand.

210 all out in 46.4 overs left us 28 runs shy in the end. Craig continues to lead our run charts this season with 164, Michael tops the wickets with five — small consolations on a day that got away from us. Not our afternoon, but heads up: back to the nets, and on to the next one.

Sun 31 Jul 2005 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv DC Downham & Bellingham CC · HomeformWLWWL

It was Downham & Bellingham CC who paid us the pleasure of a visit on Sunday, and having called correctly for once, I had no hesitation whatsoever in sending us in — a decision I remained smug about for a good hour or two. Christopher made a lovely half-century, 53 of good, correct batting, while I chipped in with 48 not out to help us on our way. Craig Sands weighed in with a brisk 34, though it must be recorded, in the interests of accuracy and gentle mockery, that Richard Piper and Mark Christmas both departed for ducks — golden ones at that, the sort that draw more laughter in the pavilion than sympathy. We closed on 180 for 9 from our forty overs, a total that felt defendable if not quite imposing.

And defend it we very nearly did. Gary Hopper played the anchor role for the visitors with 45, well supported by Robin Bailey's 33, but our bowlers kept chipping away throughout. James Piper was superb, 3 for 13, while Michael Beeney and Jon Harris both took a wicket apiece for 21 runs. When the light and the overs ran out with Downham & Bellingham on 96 for 5, honours were shared — neither side quite able to force the issue.

A draw, then, but an honest one, earned rather than avoided. With that half-century I now lead the Sunday side's run charts for the season on 312, and Michael Beeney tops the wickets with six — encouraging signs as the summer rolls on. Not a win, but a thoroughly agreeable Sunday's cricket all the same.

Sat 23 Jul 2005 🧢 2nd XIv SC Sheldwich CC · AwayformLLLLW

I'm off, sunshine and reservations at deep midwicket be damned — Sheldwich away, and a game with a sting in its tail.

Winning the toss and bowling first felt the right call on a good-looking pitch, but Bert Andrews had other ideas, ploughing on to a fine 53 while Ian Turton (36) and J. McCrea (21) chipped in around him to haul the hosts to 171 all out. Darren Styles was the pick of the attack by a distance, prising out three for a miserly 22, and I was happy enough to chip in with three of my own, albeit at rather more expensive terms (3-54). Ian Hollingworth picked up one, and Dennis Salisbury bowled beautifully in a losing cause figures-wise, sending down four maidens without reward — the sort of spell that deserves a medal rather than a shrug.

With 172 needed, James Piper played the innings of the day, a classy 51, well supported by Trevor Back's 39, but too many of us went the way of Christopher Thirkell, Darren Styles and Gareth Davies, who each contributed a golden duck 🦆 to the collection. Twenty-five useful extras aside, we subsided to 157 all out and fell agonisingly short.

Elsewhere in the club, Brian Piper continues to purr along in second in the 2nd XI run charts, and Darren Styles leads the wicket-takers with 16 — a fine advert for his bowling, if not for the rest of us.

Beaten by 14 runs, then, in a match that had rather more good cricket in it than the scoreline suggests. We'll dust ourselves down and come back stronger next week.

Sat 23 Jul 2005 🧢 1st XIv SC Sheldwich CC · HomeformLWLWW

Here's the report.

I won the toss on Saturday and had no hesitation electing to bat first — the sort of decision that looks either inspired or idiotic depending entirely on what happens next, and I'm delighted to report it fell firmly into the former camp. We posted 213 for 6 from our 45 overs, a total built on some real substance through the middle order: Mike Elworthy chipped in with 23 and Craig Sands with 22, while poor Stuart Cheesman will be nursing a duck rather than a pint this week. As for my own contribution, I'm not one to blow my own trumpet in these pages, but 123 not out felt rather nice to bring home.

Sheldwich came out with intent in reply and gave us a proper fright, closing on 202 for 9 — James Creed led the way with 47, with Simon Harwood unbeaten on 42 and Marcus Hodges adding 36 to keep them in the hunt deep into the innings. It was our bowling that eventually turned the screw, Mark Christmas the pick with a superb 4 for 37, backed up admirably by Adam Jackson's 3 for 73 and Stuart Cheesman making amends with the ball, taking 2 for 20.

In the end we squeezed home by 11 runs, the sort of margin that has you checking the scorebook twice and the tea urn three times. A cracking match, a proper contest, and a very good day indeed for the club.

Sun 17 Jul 2005 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv BC Blue Star CC · HomeformWWLWW

From the captain's chair — Sunday 17 July 2005. Blue Star CC at home, and I won the toss and had few doubts about what to do with it: pitch looked worth batting first on, so in we went.

It proved a fair call, if not a flawless one. Craig Sands played the innings of the day, a crisp 60 that gave the whole effort its spine, with Stuart Cheesman ticking along nicely for 31 in support. David Castle and Ian Hollingworth, less happily, both departed for ducks — the sort of thing that happens to the best of us, and on this occasion happened to two of us in the same afternoon. A generous 28 extras rounded us out to 161/8 from our 35 overs, which felt like a competitive total without being an intimidating one.

So it proved. Christopher Holman played the anchor role to perfection, cruising to an unbeaten 72, with Andrew Harper's 39 and Mike Peters' unbeaten 29 filling in around him as Blue Star eased to 165/1 in 44.3 overs. I did manage to strike a blow of my own, 1-26, though it wasn't enough to trouble their top order seriously. Michael Beeney bowled tidily for his three maidens, but 18 byes from Jim Hall behind the stumps told their own tale of a difficult afternoon standing up.

Down by five wickets, then, and no arguments about it — Blue Star were the better side on the day. Heads up, chins up, and back to the nets.

Sat 16 Jul 2005 🧢 1st XIv Bearsted CC · AwayformWLWLW

Saturday 16 July saw us make the short trip to Bearsted, and for once the coin actually did as it was told, coming down my way. I had a look at the surface, felt unusually decisive for a man who normally overthinks these things at breakfast, and stuck us in.

It proved a shrewd call, or at least a lucky one. Craig Sands set about the Bearsted attack with real purpose for a fine 56, and I was happy to play my part alongside him with 47, while Mike Elworthy chipped in a handy 35 to keep the scoreboard ticking along nicely. Extras did their bit too, with 28 wides, no-balls and the rest padding out the total nicely. Not every contribution can be a triumph, mind — poor Stewart Morrison will be filing this one under "best forgotten", departing for a duck that not even the tearoom cake could sweeten. We closed on a handsome 213 for 7.

With that total to defend, the bowlers rolled their sleeves up, and it was Adam Jackson who stole the show, bowling beautifully for 5-52 — a five-for thoroughly earned and richly deserved. Mark Christmas offered superb support with 4-28, and Richard Knowler chipped in a wicket for good measure. Bearsted fought hard, with Stephen Heap's well-crafted 55 the standout, but they fell 37 runs short, bowled out for 176.

A cracking away win, then, and precisely the sort of afternoon that makes the drive home feel a good deal shorter than the drive there.

Wed 13 Jul 2005 🧢 Midweek XIv LX Lord Cornwallis XI · HomeformLDLWD

Lord Cornwallis XI rolled up on Wednesday 13th July, and having won the toss I did what any self-respecting captain does with a decent pitch under his boots — I stuck us in. Bold, I felt, and largely vindicated: 177 for 6 off our 47 overs, built on Craig Sands' 37, with Trevor Back unbeaten on 37 and Darren Styles chipping in a handsome 33. Not every innings can be a procession, mind — Chris Newman's walk back for a duck was greeted with the usual sympathetic quacking from the boundary, as tradition demands.

In the field we set about defending it, and I managed to get among the wickets myself, finishing with 1 for 31 for my afternoon's toil. But the real damage was done by Stuart Cheesman, whose 3 for 39 kept them honest throughout, with Matthew Carter's 1 for 26 and two tidy maidens from Darren Styles squeezing things further. Their innings had one substantial obstacle in J Jefferson, who cruised past his fifty to 70 and dragged them to 173 for 7 off 40, well supported by A Carroll's 21 and Alexander Cornwallis's 20 — though P Clarkson and G Oliver both departed for ducks of their own, so honours even on that front too.

In the end neither side could quite land the killer blow, and it finished honours shared. On the season charts Craig Sands now leads our run-scoring with 107 and Stuart Cheesman tops the wickets with 5 — proper form building nicely. A draw is nobody's idea of glory, but against a side that made us work for every run, I'll happily take it and the tea that followed.

Sun 10 Jul 2005 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv BC Bidborough CC · AwayformWWWLW

Here's the match report:

I never seem to win the toss these days, and Bidborough were no exception, sending us straight into the field on a Sunday that looked destined to test our patience. Andrew Redden had other ideas, ticking along to a fine 72 while Richard Larkin kept him company with a well-made 61, and A Gillett's 38 rounded things out nicely as their total climbed to a stern-looking 237/7 from 47 overs. Chris Wallington and Stephen Towner departed for ducks without so much as a glance at the scoreboard, which tells you all you need to know about the surface. Credit where it's due, though: Jon Harris was a menace with the ball, snaring 4-44, and Michael Beeney weighed in with a handy 3-43 to keep the visitors honest.

Chasing 238 is no picnic, but Craig Sands set about it in fine style, cruising to an unbeaten 81 that anchored the innings from start to finish. I found my own rhythm alongside him, finishing 75 not out, and Stuart Cheesman's 42 kept the scoreboard humming — with the extras column doing its bit too, chipping in 25 of its own. We got home with 32.3 overs on the clock and three wickets still in hand, which is about as comfortable as club cricket allows itself to be.

A thoroughly satisfying personal contribution on a day when the whole side pulled its weight. Six wickets, six points, and the season charts looking rather rosy besides — onwards indeed.

Sun 10 Jul 2005 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv BC Bobbing Court and Lower Halstow CC · HomeformWWLDL

Skipper's Log — Sunday 10 July 2005, Bobbing Court and Lower Halstow CC at home.

Lost the toss, again, and duly watched the visitors elect to bat, which by this stage of the season I've come to regard less as bad luck and more as a personal vendetta from whatever coin we're using. They made themselves thoroughly at home, racing to 122 for the first wicket before we so much as troubled the scorer's pencil, Neil Epps and Malcolm Stewart doing the early damage with 46 and 43 respectively, Martin Wood finishing unbeaten on 33 to help them to a stiff 202 for 4 off their forty. Tim Wright at least prised out a breakthrough for 1-31, and Gareth Davies bowled two overs that cost the opposition precisely nothing, which on a day like this counted as high art.

Our reply never quite got out of second gear. Jack Jenner batted with real substance for an unbeaten 38, well backed by Jason Brooks (25) and Chris Newman (24), but 156 for 8 was always going to leave us short. I'll confess my own afternoon behind the stumps was not one for the scrapbook — ten byes went begging on my watch, and between us we sprayed 28 wides and 12 no-balls, gifting the sort of extras that would make a lesser side blush.

Small mercies: I remain top of the 2005 Sunday 2nd XI run charts on 264, and Tim Wright sits fourth in the wickets. But mercies don't win matches. Beaten by 46 runs — not our day. Heads up, and back to the nets.

Sat 09 Jul 2005 🧢 2nd XIv West Farleigh CC · AwayformWLLLL

I hoped for a home fixture, but the fixture list has never once consulted me, so it was off to West Farleigh we went. Losing the toss and being sent into the field is not how I like to start a Saturday, but the lads seemed unbothered, and so it proved.

Batting first once the tables turned, we posted a very respectable 183 for 9. Brian Piper was in imperious touch, carrying his bat for a chanceless 55 not out — and in doing so brought up 11,000 career runs for the club, a landmark that rather puts my own contribution of 43 in its proper, modest place. James Piper chipped in a tidy 25, while Christopher Thirkell, Roly Edwards and Gareth Davies all made ducks, which I shall put down to the pitch rather than the personnel. Thirty-one extras kept the scoreboard ticking along nicely in their absence.

In the field, West Farleigh gave it a real go, P Robinson leading their reply with 36, backed up by Martin Hoare and Richard Horsman, but they never quite got ahead of the required rate, subsiding to 152 for 9. James Piper was superb with the ball, 3 for 9, Gareth Davies chipped in 3 for 18, and Darren Styles bowled with real discipline for 2 for 24 and three maidens.

A thoroughly earned 31-run win, two points banked, and Brian Piper's landmark the story of the day. Long may his legs — and his form — hold out.

Sat 09 Jul 2005 🧢 1st XIv SC Shipbourne CC · HomeformLWLWL

Saturday the ninth of July, and Shipbourne came to Linton Park with the sun (mostly) on our side. I won the toss and didn't dither for a second — into the field we went, fancying our chances on a pitch that looked to have a bit in it for the bowlers.

And so it proved. Shipbourne were bowled out for 112 in 44.2 overs, Andrew Gillam's 33 and Mike Cooper's 25 the only real resistance, while poor Matt Kendle and Mark Fenton trudged back without so much as a single to their names. I found some rhythm with the ball, taking 3-15 with five maidens thrown in for good measure, and got fine support from Mark Christmas (3-25) and Michael Beeney (2-21) — between us we hardly let Shipbourne breathe.

With 113 needed, I settled in and made merry with the bat, carrying my form through to 76 not out and adding a hearty three wickets to my day's work, well supported by Stewart Morrison's unbeaten 24 as we cantered home in 23.4 overs for the loss of just three wickets.

A cracking all-round day, then, and one that keeps me warm at the top of both the run and wicket charts this summer, though I'd rather credit the whole side than dwell on my own figures. Seven wickets to spare, smiles all round, and tea tasted all the sweeter for it. A very good day for the club.

Wed 06 Jul 2005 🧢 Midweek XIv Gravesend CC · AwayformDLDLW

Wednesday, 6th July, and the coach rumbled south to Gravesend CC with the sun out and my optimism, as ever, wildly ahead of the evidence. I lost the toss — some things never change — and we were put into the field, which on such an afternoon felt rather like being volunteered for extra homework.

Our hosts made themselves thoroughly at home, racing to 208 for 5 from their fifty overs. L Mann anchored the innings with a fine half-century, 54 in all, well supported by Simran Mahon's 47 and G Stearn's 34, and there were spells when the total threatened to run away from us entirely. I managed to keep things honest with 2 for 29, handily placed in the season's bowling standings as a result, while Stuart Cheesman chipped in with 2 for 39 and Mark Christmas bowled two miserly maidens the batsmen simply couldn't get away from.

Set 209 to win, we went about our business with more purpose than elegance, reaching 202 for 6 from 38 overs. Craig Sands led the way with a composed 46 — enough to keep him top of our season's run charts — ably supported by Mark Christmas's 44 and Trevor Back's 34.

In the end, honours were shared: a draw when neither side could quite force the door open. Not the widest of margins by which to fall short, and on another day, with a touch more application, that door swings our way. A fair result, honestly earned — and the tea, as always at Gravesend, did not disappoint.

Sun 03 Jul 2005 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv CC Clarion CC · HomeformDWWWL

Sunday 3rd July, and with the sun doing its best village-green impression, I called correctly and had no hesitation in putting Clarion in to bowl at us. Craig Sands set about proving the pitch was as good as it looked, cruising to an unbeaten 80, while Christopher Thirkell matched him stride for stride with a superb 77 not out — the pair simply refused to give it back. I chipped in with 27 down the order, and poor Mark Christmas endured the walk of shame for a golden duck, though nobody held it against him for long. We declared, if only in spirit, on a handsome 205/3 from our forty overs.

Defending that kind of total should be the easy part, and for the most part it was — though Clarion weren't about to lie down. Andy Driver played the innings of the day with a well-crafted 74, and P Elsden stuck around gamely for an unbeaten 52, the two of them threatening to make a proper contest of it. R Wilson at least departed cheaply for nought. It was Mark Christmas who atoned in style with the ball, snaring 3-34, backed up nicely by E-Gransden's 1-8 and Mike Redman's tidy 1-11 — three maidens from Redman told its own story of discipline. Poor Jim Hall had a torrid afternoon behind the stumps, 14 byes leaking through, but we'll put that down to a lively pitch and move swiftly on.

A personal note amid the runs and wickets: I brought up 9,000 career runs for the club and made my 300th appearance in Linton colours, which felt rather special on a day like this. Sixteen runs the right side of the ledger — a fine win, and long may it continue.

Sat 02 Jul 2005 🧢 2nd XIv Leeds & Broomfield CC · HomeformLWLLL

Saturday brought Leeds & Broomfield to Linton Park, and true to the season's script the coin let us down again — I called, I lost, and we were asked to bat. Not the worst fate on a decent pitch, though watching Simon Thirkell and Rob Jackson both walk back without troubling the scorers reminded us this remains a game of small mercies. Trevor Back top-scored handsomely with 44, and Graham Walker's 22 and Richard Piper's 21 gave the innings some spine, but 136/8 always felt a touch light against a side capable of chasing it down in their own time.

And so it proved. Barry Roles and James Ingarfield both compiled well-made fifties — 52 not out and 51 respectively — batting with the sort of unhurried certainty that makes a captain's stomach sink slowly rather than all at once. Darren Styles was magnificent with the ball, 2-22 including three maidens, choking the scoring even as the total crept away from us, and I chipped in with 1-39 while Ian Hollingworth took 1-43, but it wasn't enough to arrest the chase. They cantered home by six wickets.

Elsewhere there's cause for quiet pride: Richard Piper sits third in the 2nd XI's season run charts with 155, and Darren Styles leads the wicket-takers with 11 — form worth building on. As for Saturday, it was honest defeat rather than capitulation. Heads up, boots cleaned, back to the nets — there's a season yet to shape.

Sat 02 Jul 2005 🧢 1st XIv HC Hollingbourne CC · AwayformLLWLW

Here's the match report:

We won the toss at Hollingbourne and I stuck us in the field — the right call, I felt, and for the best part of the afternoon I wasn't made to look a fool. The Hollingbourne top order had other ideas, mind. Trevor Scrivens ground out an unbeaten 80 and Mike Donald chipped in with 75, the pair of them putting bat to ball with the sort of grim efficiency that has committee members reaching for the tea urn in despair. Mark Christmas toiled manfully for his 4-82, I picked up a couple for 43 of my own, and Adam Jackson bowled two overs so miserly you'd think he'd been raised on rationing. Still, 215/6 from 45 overs was more than enough guard of honour for their declaration, though we did at least see off Neil Taylor without so much as a run to his name.

Chasing 216, we never quite got out of second gear. Stewart Morrison's 40 and Mike Elworthy's 29 were the shining lights — the latter innings, incidentally, enough to nudge Mike past Clive Newman into 9th on the club's all-time run charts, which is more than can be said for poor Craig Sands, whose golden duck will live long in the memory of the scorebook if nowhere else. All out for 152 in 36.1 overs, we fell 63 runs short.

A defeat, then, but not a disgraceful one — and with the runs and wickets still stacking up nicely this season, I remain quietly convinced our luck, and my top spot in both charts, will hold. We'll be better for it next week.

Tue 28 Jun 2005 🧢 Twenty20v East Sutton CC · HomeformWWWLL

Skipper's Log — Tuesday 28 June 2005, and a rare thing: I called it right at the toss. Naturally, with the sun out and a firm-looking track, there was only ever one decision to make, and we went in to bat.

The lads set about it nicely, posting 148/6 from our 20 overs. Russell Baldwin was in imperious touch, cracking a fine 71, with Craig Sands chipping in a handy 24 alongside him — their third-wicket stand of 74 was really the innings, and everything else was decoration.

Defending it, East Sutton wobbled early — 3 on the board and already a wicket down, which is always a pleasant sight from the pavilion. Both Skinners fell without troubling the scorers, and from there Mike Redman (2-12), Michael Beeney (2-22) and Mark Christmas (2-23) shared things out handsomely to keep the visitors pinned back to 126/9. I even found time to potter in with 17 of my own, for what little that's worth alongside such company.

Two landmarks to raise a glass to: Mike Redman brought up 50 career wickets, and Russell's 71 eased him past Jon Harris into 22nd on the club's all-time run-scorers list — a name he can now say he's overtaken rather than chased. He also sits atop this season's Twenty20 run charts with 184, with Darren Styles leading the wickets on 9.

A tidy 22-run win, and a thoroughly satisfying Tuesday evening's work. Onwards.

Sun 26 Jun 2005 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv SC Sheldwich CC · AwayformLWWLD

Sunday 26th June saw us head to Sheldwich, hopes reasonably high and boots reasonably clean. Put into the field first, we watched James Creed play the innings of the day — a chanceless 118 that did the bulk of the damage, with Daniel Ray (25) and Phillip Stanford (22 not out) chipping in as Sheldwich posted a stern 249/6 from their forty overs. I can't pretend it was all doom, though: I found some rhythm with the ball and picked up 4-35, Michael Beeney chipped away for 1-50, and Tim Wright bowled two tidy maidens to at least make them work for every run.

Chasing 250 was always going to ask questions of the top order, and while Russell Baldwin (45), Brian Piper (35) and Craig Sands (31) all made starts and gave the innings some backbone, we simply ran out of overs and wickets, closing on 194/7 — 55 runs shy at the finish.

Amid the defeat, a couple of moments worth raising a cup of tea to: Russell brought up 5,000 career runs for the club, a proper milestone, while I quietly passed 100 career wickets — happy enough with my own four scalps on the day, even if the number pales next to Russell's achievement. Craig continues to lead our 2005 Sunday 2nd XI run charts with 254, and I sit a modest fifth in the wicket standings.

Not our day, in truth — beaten by 55 runs and left to reflect on the drive home. Heads up, back to the nets, and on to the next one.

Tue 21 Jun 2005 🧢 Twenty20v West Farleigh CC · AwayformWWWWL

Skipper's Log — Tuesday 21 June 2005

We lost the toss at West Farleigh, which these days feels less like bad luck and more like tradition. Asked to field first, we watched Alan Smith help himself to 44, with Greg Snape chipping in 23 as the hosts posted a stiff 127/8 from their twenty overs. Credit where it's due, though: Michael Beeney was the pick of our attack with 2-20, Darren Styles backed him up with 2-28 (and had the small satisfaction of a duck to his name among the wickets), and Mike Redman kept things tidy with 1-14.

A chase of 127 was always going to ask questions of our top order, and in truth we never quite found the answers. I managed 31 — the runs that mattered, if I say so myself — with Craig Sands giving fine support on 24. Beyond that it was a familiar tale of good intentions undone by good bowling, and poor Adam Jackson's nought will earn him another entry in the club's ever-swelling Duck Club ledger.

We finished on 99/9, beaten by 28 runs, and there's no dressing that up as anything other than a defeat fair and square. Still, with Craig topping the season's run charts on 128 and Darren leading the wickets column with 8, there's plenty to be cheerful about beneath the scoreboard. We'll be better for it next week — we usually are, eventually.

Sun 19 Jun 2005 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv IC Ide Hill CC · HomeformWLWWL

Skipper's Log — Sunday 19 June 2005, and a rare joy: winning the toss and not immediately regretting the decision. Ide Hill were the visitors, the sun was doing its best village-green impression, and I had absolutely no hesitation in sticking us in to bat.

What followed was, if I'm allowed one moment of immodesty, rather special. I found some form I'd been quietly hoarding all season and carried my bat for 105 not out, with Richard Piper (37) and Craig Sands (36) both chipping in handsomely as we posted 202 for 3 from our 43 overs — a total that felt, even as we walked off, like it had a bit of bite to it.

Defending it was another matter entirely. Ide Hill dug in, Stefan Ronan playing the anchor role beautifully for 43, with James Walkling (32) and Malcolm Boakes (24 not out) refusing to let us in. But Jon Harris was magnificent with the ball, snaring 4 for 46, and had good company from Gareth Davies (1-15) and Ian Hollingworth, whose 1-20 included two miserly maidens. Even so, 148 for 6 from their 41 overs proved just enough resistance to deny us, and the umpires called it a draw.

A word for the scorebook nerds among us: my 105 nudges me past Mike Elworthy into 9th on the club's all-time run charts, and I now lead our 2005 Sunday 2nd XI run-scorers with 243, while Gareth Davies tops the wicket pile with 10.

Honours shared, then — honestly earned by both sides, and no bad way to spend a Sunday.

Sat 18 Jun 2005 🧢 2nd XIv Staplehurst CC · AwayformLLWLL

Here's the match report:

Staplehurst on a Saturday, and the toss went against us, so out we trooped into the field first. They posted a healthy 175/6, built chiefly around C Rogers' fluent 46, with I Gosling (35) and Darren Styles (29) lending sturdy support. Credit to the lads for winkling out J Bowers and G Hubbard without troubling the scorers — two ducks to our name in the field, at least. Darren Styles was pick of our bowlers with 2-37, Matthew Carter chipped in with 2-54, and Gareth Davies picked up 1-18.

175 was always going to be a stiff ask on that pitch, and so it proved. Trevor Back battled hardest for his 42, but wickets tumbled around him and we were bowled out for 132, extras our second-highest contributor with a generous 28. It was not our day with the willow: Richard Piper and Gareth Davies both walked back for nought, and as for the skipper — well, a captain ought to lead by example, and I did, departing for a golden duck that will live long in the memory for all the wrong reasons.

Elsewhere in the club's season, Ron McCormick continues to prosper in the 2nd XI run charts, sitting third with 140, while Gareth Davies tops the wicket-takers with 8 — proof, if any were needed, that not every Duck Club member is having a torrid time of it.

Beaten by 43 runs in the end. A chastening afternoon, but we'll be better for it next week.

Sat 18 Jun 2005 🧢 1st XIv Headcorn CC · HomeformWLLWL

Here's the match report:

Saturday 18th June, and Headcorn came calling. I lost the toss – no great surprise this season, my luck there's been about as reliable as an English summer – and duly found ourselves in the field. It could have gone worse. Mark Christmas was the pick of the attack, snaring three for 31 with the kind of relentless, needling accuracy that makes opposing batsmen mutter to themselves, while Adam Jackson bowled miserly line and length for two for 45 and four maidens, and Michael Beeney chipped in with one for 25. Even so, Peter Westrop made merry with a fine 64, well supported by C Silver's 24, and Headcorn closed on a stiffish 158 for 8 from their 45 overs.

Chasing it down looked a formality on paper and, pleasingly, played out that way in practice. Craig Sands set about the target with real authority, finishing unbeaten on 71, while David Castle's 20 kept things ticking along nicely. I contributed a few runs myself along the way, part of a team effort that got us home for the loss of just four wickets, with half a dozen balls to spare.

Elsewhere, the season table makes for pleasant reading – I find myself leading the 1st XI run charts with 370 for the summer, and Jackson sits second among the wicket-takers with ten scalps to his name.

Two points, no fuss, no alarms. A thoroughly professional Saturday, and one to file under "more of the same, please."

Wed 15 Jun 2005 🧢 Midweek XIv SC Sevenoaks & District Wednesday CC · HomeformLDLDL

From the captain's chair — Wednesday 15 June 2005, and a good day to have Sevenoaks & District Wednesday CC round for tea.

Won the toss, and I confess I rather fancied a bowl on it, so in we went. Sevenoaks made a fair fist of things, posting 191 for 5 off their fifty overs, with I. Doby the chief architect at 57 not out, well backed up by A. Redden's 38 and R. Gorman's 29. Credit to the lads with the ball, though — Michael Beeney led from the front with 2 for 26, Darren Styles chipped in with 2 for 34 (and two maidens besides, tight as you like), and Christopher Thirkell picked up 1 for 17. A target of 192 always felt gettable, but never quite a formality.

And so it proved, though we made rather a habit of making it look routine. Stewart Morrison led the chase beautifully with 48, Stuart Cheesman weighed in with a typically composed 38, and Matthew Carter added a brisk 31, and we cantered home with 6 wickets and thirteen-odd overs to spare. Worth noting for posterity — Cheesman's 38 nudges him past Malcolm Pay and into 25th on the club's all-time run-scorers list, which I'm reliably informed calls for a small round of applause at the bar. Morrison now tops our 2005 Midweek run charts, Styles the wickets.

A thoroughly satisfying win, six wickets to the good — onwards we go.

Tue 14 Jun 2005 🧢 Twenty20v HC Hollingbourne CC · HomeformWWWWW

Beaten by two wickets, and I'll be honest, calling correctly at the toss felt like the last thing that went entirely to plan. Choosing to bat looked a shrewd move as we cantered to 162 for 2 off our twenty — I found some form early doors, easing to 60, while Russell Baldwin played the anchor role to perfection with an unbeaten 54, and Craig Sands chipped in with a brisk 35. For a good hour or so it felt like the sort of total that wins matches on its own.

Hollingbourne, however, had other ideas. Neil Taylor produced a proper half-century, 54 of real quality, with Matthew Jones (33) and Robert Clark (27 not out) doing just enough either side of him to keep the required rate within reach. I did what I could with the ball, taking 2 for 18 in an attempt to strangle things in the middle overs, and Darren Styles and Richard Knowler both chipped away with a wicket apiece, but it wasn't quite enough — they got home with two wickets to spare.

Small consolations amid the gloom: Baldwin now tops our Twenty20 run charts for the season with 113, and Styles leads the wicket-takers with 6, so the runs and the wickets are clearly there, just not always on the same afternoon. A personal 60 was satisfying, if ultimately on the losing side of the ledger.

Verdict: a match we probably should have won and didn't — the sort of defeat that stings on the drive home but teaches more than a comfortable victory ever would. We'll be better for it next week.

Sat 11 Jun 2005 🧢 2nd XIv HC Horton Kirby CC · HomeformWLLWL

Saturday 11th June saw Horton Kirby CC visit for what promised to be a good day's cricket, and for the most part it delivered — just not, in the end, for us.

Put in first, we posted a very handy 230/9 from our 45 overs. Brian Piper set the tone with a fine 72, and Christopher Thirkell chipped in with a classy 58, ably supported by James Piper's 24. I, meanwhile, contributed rather less to proceedings — a duck, the full walk of shame, bat barely troubling the scorers before I trudged off to muted sympathy from the boundary.

Two-thirty looked a defendable total, and for a while it was tight enough. But Horton Kirby had other ideas, chasing it down to 233/4 in 43.1 overs. Warren Bull's 53 and Geoff Lane's unbeaten 50 did the heavy lifting, with Darren Chambers' 39 keeping the scoreboard ticking along nicely. With the ball, Christopher Thirkell was superb again, finishing with 1-8, while I took 1-25 and Darren Styles chipped in with 1-33, including two miserly maidens. It simply wasn't quite enough.

And yes, I fell for nought with the bat too — the least said about that, the better; we shall draw a veil over it and move swiftly on.

So, a four-wicket defeat to file away. Heads up, chins up, and back to the nets — there are runs and wickets enough in this side to put things right next week.

Sat 11 Jun 2005 🧢 1st XIv Staplehurst CC · AwayformLWLLW

Won the toss on a fine Saturday down at Staplehurst and, with barely a glance at the sky, I had no hesitation in sticking us in to bat. It proved a sound instinct, if not quite sound enough by close of play. We compiled a respectable 208 for 8 from our 45 overs, built on the back of a knock I'm rather proud of — 64, including a well-made fifty, which felt like the sort of innings you dream about on the drive over and rarely deliver. Russell Baldwin chipped in nicely with 38, David Castle added a tidy 25, and the extras column swelled to a generous 29, which I choose to interpret as Staplehurst's bowlers being just as nervous as ours.

Defending it, we simply couldn't quite close the door. S Hammond played a proper captain's-nightmare innings of 70, well supported by Colin Breed's 66 and an unbeaten 35 from Tim Watts, and between them they eased Staplehurst home to 213 for 4 with an over to spare. I managed 2 for 46 with a couple of maidens thrown in for good measure, Adam Jackson picked up 1 for 33 and Michael Beeney 1 for 52, but it wasn't enough to stem the tide.

Down by six wickets, then — not our day, but no disgrace either. Heads up, chins out, and back to the nets we go.

Tue 07 Jun 2005 🧢 Twenty20v Bearsted CC · HomeformWWWWW

Tuesday the 7th of June, and Bearsted CC rolled into Linton Park under skies that, for once, looked like they might behave themselves. I won the toss and didn't need asking twice — batting first has always felt like the honest thing to do, so in we went.

Twenty overs later we'd posted 149 for 6, which felt like a tidy afternoon's work rather than a declaration of war. Craig Sands was the architect, a fine unbeaten-in-spirit-if-not-in-scorebook 69 that did the heavy lifting, and I was glad to potter along in support with 20 of my own — more graft than grace, but they all count the same in the book.

Bearsted's reply started ominously, their openers putting on 79 before the first wicket fell, and for a moment I wondered whether we'd left a few too many out there. But cricket has a way of turning on its head: Jonathan Lee departed without so much as troubling the scorers, and Michael Beeney set about the rest with real purpose, finishing with 2 for 21. Stephen Pearce's 46, backed by Stephen Heap's 26 and Chris Norris's unbeaten 24, kept them interested to the last, but 122 for 3 wasn't enough. A note for the ages, too — Craig brought up 3,000 career runs for the club along the way.

Twenty-seven runs the margin, and thoroughly earned. A proper club cricket afternoon, and we'll take it gladly.

Sat 04 Jun 2005 🧢 2nd XIv EC Eynsford CC · AwayformLWLLW

The road took us down to Eynsford on Saturday, and losing the toss did us no favours at all — asked to bowl first on what looked a belter of a featherbed, I confess my heart sank somewhat. So it proved: Tony Edwards and company simply helped themselves, Edwards racing to 82, with a second-wicket stand of 98 doing most of the early damage. Peter Gough finished unbeaten on 69 and Toby Crisp chipped in a tidy 68, and by the time the 45 overs were up they'd posted a hefty 293 for 3. Darren Styles was our pick of the attack, tight enough to bowl two maidens on the way to 1 for 50, with Rob Jackson and Dave Todd both getting among the wickets too, though none of us will pretend it was anything other than a long, warm afternoon in the field.

Chasing 294 looked a tall order, but Mike Elworthy had other ideas, playing an innings for the ages — 145 of pure class — with Brian Piper's well-made 64 lending sturdy support and a third-wicket stand of 102 keeping the required rate honest. Not everyone's day, mind: Simon Thirkell and Dave Todd both departed for ducks, and poor Jim Hall had a torrid time behind the stumps, 15 byes leaking away. We fell agonisingly short, 288 for 9, beaten by just 5 runs — heartbreaking stuff, though Elworthy's innings did see him climb to 9th on the club's all-time run charts, past Clive Newman, which is scant but real consolation. Not our day. Heads up, back to the nets.

Sat 04 Jun 2005 🧢 1st XIv Meopham CC · HomeformLLWLL

Saturday 04 June 2005, and we hosted Meopham CC on what turned out to be a rather splendid afternoon for the home side. Put simply, everything I touched turned to runs. I found my range early and kept finding it all the way to 92, with David Castle playing the perfect foil, ticking along to an unbeaten 65, and Stewart Morrison chipping in with a brisk 30 not out to help us close on a mighty 231 for 4. Not every contribution glittered, mind — poor Russell Baldwin will have to explain to the scorebook, and possibly his mother, how he came away with a golden duck. Still, 231 was a total to make the tea urn nervous.

Meopham's reply never really got out of the blocks. G Rappley battled to 33 and Charlie Penn and Gary Howorth offered support with 28 and 21 respectively, but around them our attack simply tore through the order — three of their number departed without troubling the scorers at all. Michael Beeney was magnificent, 3 for 18 with three maidens thrown in for good measure, miserly to the point of cruelty. Adam Jackson weighed in with 3 for 32, and I managed to get among the wickets myself with 3 for 33, rounding off a thoroughly satisfying day in the field as Meopham folded for 113.

A win by 118 runs, then, and one to file under "happy captaincy." With the season charts now reading rather favourably in my direction — 296 runs and 13 wickets — I shall try, with great effort, to remain insufferable about it for as short a time as possible. Onwards.

Tue 31 May 2005 🧢 Twenty20v RC Rumwood CC · AwayformWWWWW

Tuesday 31 May, and the coin did us proud for once — heads it was, and heads it stayed, so I had no hesitation shipping us in to bat first at Rumwood. Eighty-four for seven from our twenty overs was never going to have the neutrals gasping, but it was built on sound foundations: Mark Christmas anchored things nicely for 23 not out, with Richard Knowler chipping in a tidy 20 alongside him. Ian Hollingworth, meanwhile, gave the scorebook a golden duck to admire — these things happen to the best of us, and he shall doubtless dine out on the story rather less than we shall dine out on the wicket.

Eighty-four looked distinctly modest walking out to defend it, but Rumwood never quite got away from us, subsiding to 69 for nine — P- Brickfield gone for nought among the wreckage. Mark Christmas, having done the business with the bat, did it again with the ball, a superb 3-9 setting the tone, with Darren Styles (3-18) and Ian Brattle (2-11) mopping up the rest in fine style.

A word too for the season's leading lights — Russell Baldwin tops our 2005 Twenty20 run charts with 51, and Darren Styles the wickets with 5 — both men very much on this evidence.

A fine win by fifteen runs, and a thoroughly satisfactory evening's work. Onwards.

Mon 30 May 2005 🧢 1st XIv YC Yalding CC · AwayformDLLWL

Yalding away, Monday 30 May – no luck with the coin, and they were straight in to bat, leaving us to make the early running with the ball. We did just that: Yalding limped to 133/9 from their forty, no one really cutting loose – Martin Holmes' 32 the pick of a modest top order, with Anthony Shepherd (25) and Kevin Shrimpton (23) chipping in. Paul Stevens departed for a duck without so much as troubling the scoreboard. Matthew Carter was magnificent, 4-15 and unplayable in patches, with Gareth Davies (2-13) and I (2-10) doing our bit to keep the squeeze on. All told, a total we fancied chasing down in comfort.

Comfort, alas, was not on the menu. We stumbled to 112/9 in reply, Ron McCormick's gritty 28 the innings' backbone, Chris Newman lending useful support with 23. Graham Walker and Christopher Thirkell both went for golden ducks, and when your extras column (27, including eight increasingly rueful byes from Ron behind the stumps) outscores half your top order, you know it wasn't your day with the gloves either.

As for the captain – a golden blob first ball. They say lead by example; on this occasion I led by demonstrating precisely how not to bat, which is one way to keep the dressing room humble. Small consolation that Matthew Carter's four-for keeps him second in the season's wicket charts.

Twenty-one runs short in the end. Heads up, chins forward, and back to the nets – there's cricket yet to be won this summer.

Sun 29 May 2005 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv MC Minster (Sheppey) CC · HomeformDWLWW

Lost the toss on Sunday and had no choice but to trot out into the field first — Minster (Sheppey) made themselves quite at home, racking up 200 for 5 in their 40 overs. Darren Constable's 49 was the headline act, with Mike Rees (48) and Andy Hosken (41) keeping the scoreboard ticking, and that opening stand of 77 gave them exactly the platform they wanted. Credit where due to James Piper, whose 2 for 33 was the pick of our attack, with Paul Motum and Matthew Carter chipping in a wicket apiece, and Michael Beeney tying things down with three tidy maidens.

Chasing 200 was always going to be a stretch, and losing a wicket with nought on the board didn't help the nerves one bit. Tom Motum's 38 was the innings of substance, well supported by Paul Motum's 27 and my own 21, and a fifth-wicket stand of 59 gave us something to cling to before we subsided to 129 for 7. Spare a thought for poor Christopher Thirkell, whose duck earns him a place in the club's ledger of shame — though he can console himself with the small matter of his 100th appearance in Linton colours, which is no mean feat.

Down by 71 runs, then, and back to the nets we go. Not our day, but with a season's worth of runs still stacking up nicely, there's life in this old side yet.

Sat 28 May 2005 🧢 2nd XIv Milstead CC · HomeformDLWLL

Tim Thirkell's Match Report – Linton Park CC v Milstead CC, 28 May 2005

Lost the toss again – I'm beginning to think that coin has a personal vendetta against me – and Milstead duly stuck us in the field. They ground their way to 164/8 from their 45 overs, built almost entirely around a composed fifty from Paul Clunn (56 not out), with Richard Cusworth (26) and Glen Rawson (20) offering support acts of their own. James Piper was the pick of our attack by some distance, prising out two for a miserly 14, while Gareth Davies and Darren Styles chipped away either side of him – Styles in particular bowling with the parsimony of a man who still checks his change twice, four maidens and all.

Chasing 165, we were given a nervous start as Elliott Buckner and Simon Baker both departed without so much as troubling the scorers – the sort of top-order collapse that has spectators reaching for their flasks rather earlier than planned. But the middle order steadied the ship handsomely. I chipped in with 38 to top-score, and found good company in Ron McCormick (36 not out) and Mike Elworthy (27), with the fourth-wicket stand of 78 proving the innings' backbone – aided, it must be said, by a generous 30 extras from a Milstead attack evidently feeling charitable.

We eventually got over the line by six wickets with overs to spare. Ron continues to lead our run charts for the season and Gareth the wickets – both fully justified on this evidence. A thoroughly good day for the club, and one to file under "job done, tea earned."

Sat 28 May 2005 🧢 1st XIv SC Sheldwich CC · AwayformWDLLW

I'll be gone all week, so I'm dashing this off before Val hunts me down for it.

Sheldwich, then, on a Saturday that promised more than it delivered. We batted first and made 194/8, a total that had a bit of everything about it — Nigel Thirkell playing beautifully for 83, and I managed to nudge my way past fifty as well, finishing on 54. Russell Baldwin chipped in with a handy 30, and between us we cobbled together a score that felt, at tea, like it might just be defendable. Less said the better about Kevin Presneill and Dennis Salisbury, who both took the long, lonely walk back for nought — the Duck Club ledger groans under the weight of them, and I'm told there's a quacking noise that follows a man round the clubhouse on such occasions.

And then Sheldwich batted, and rather ruined the afternoon. James Creed produced an innings of real class, 102 not out, the sort of hundred that makes you wonder why you bother with a match report at all, and Daniel Ray gave him fine company with 69. Adam Jackson toiled away nobly for figures of 1-58, but the rest of us were mostly reduced to fetching the ball from the boundary boards with weary smiles.

Nine wickets the margin in the end, which is a fair old beating by any measure. Nigel remains our leading run-scorer for the season with 209, and Adam sits fourth in the wicket charts, so there are green shoots amid the wreckage. We'll regroup, we'll learn, and frankly, we'll be better for it next week — we could scarcely be worse.

Sun 22 May 2005 🧢 Sunday NVKCv EC Eynsford CC · HomeformWWWLW

Skipper's Log — Sunday 22 May 2005. Won the toss, and with the sky doing that classic English "might rain, might not" routine, I fancied a bowl. Eynsford made hay early doors, Jamie Wise compiling a lovely 51, with Paul Geear (43) and Dan Wise (30) chipping in nicely as a 74-run fourth-wicket stand did most of the damage. Small mercies, though — Howard Collins departed for a golden duck, and I was fortunate enough to find some rhythm with the ball, taking 3-8 from five miserly maidens, with Richard Knowler and Michael Beeney chiming in for one apiece. 175/9 felt about forty short of what it might have been, and stopping it there was no small effort.

Chasing 176, Russell Baldwin and the top order gave us exactly the sort of start you dream about over Sunday tea — 71 for the first wicket — before Baldwin went on to 40, Nigel Thirkell added a tidy 30, and Craig Sands finished unbeaten on 29. Alas, 167/7 wasn't quite enough, and we fell agonisingly short by 8 runs — the kind of margin that has you replaying every dot ball on the drive home.

A word of cheer amid the gloom: Russell Baldwin's 40 nudges him up to 23rd on the club's all-time run-scorers list, past the great Mike Caddick, while Nigel leads our Sunday run charts and I find myself topping the wicket tally for the season. Small consolations for a heavy heart. We were the better side for large parts of this one and were still beaten — proof, if any were needed, that cricket has never once cared for fairness. We'll dust ourselves down and come back stronger next week.

Sat 21 May 2005 🧢 2nd XIv Mersham Sports CC · AwayformWDLWL

Saturday saw us make the trip out to Mersham Sports CC, and I'll confess the return journey felt rather longer than the one down. We were put in, and 115/7 was always going to want some defending on a good-looking track — Brian Piper the mainstay with a fine 45, playing the innings the rest of us wished we'd had the patience for. Less gloriously, Christopher Thirkell and Joe Martin both trudged back without troubling the scorers, which is never a pleasant sight from the boundary edge, though I dare say every club has its afternoon for ducks.

Defending it, we at least made a fight of it. Darren Styles bowled beautifully tight — five maidens is proper old-fashioned meanness — and picked up 1-9 for his troubles, while Simon Thirkell led the attack with 1-5 and Brian Piper, not content with his runs, chipped in with 1-14. But Ollie Austen had other ideas, batting through unbeaten on a composed half-century, well supported by Robert Hansen's 37, and Mersham eased home for the loss of just three wickets.

Elsewhere in the season's ledger there's cause for cheer — Ron McCormick sitting second in the 2nd XI run charts with 98, and Simon Thirkell fourth among the wicket-takers. But today wasn't ours. Seven wickets is a comprehensive enough margin to leave no room for excuses. Heads up, chins out, and back to the nets we go.

Sat 21 May 2005 🧢 1st XIv Bearsted CC · HomeformWWDLL

There's a particular pleasure in winning the toss, batting first, and watching Bearsted CC's bowlers slowly lose the will to live, and Saturday gave us exactly that. Russell Baldwin was the story of the innings, cashing in for a magnificent 107 — the sort of hundred that makes the rest of us look faintly ridiculous by comparison — while Nigel Thirkell chipped in a tidy fifty of his own. I managed 45, which I shall modestly describe as "useful" and leave it at that. We declared, if memory serves, somewhere around 229 for 3, which is the kind of total that tends to take the spring out of an opposition's step before they've even padded up.

And so it proved. Bearsted lost an early wicket with just 7 on the board and never really recovered their composure, subsiding from 54 for 2 to 61 for 5 in a spell that must have felt like watching dominoes fall. Ian Hollingworth was magnificent, 3 for 34 with three maidens thrown in for good measure, miserly enough to make batting feel like a punishment. Adam Jackson (2 for 4) and Dennis Salisbury (2 for 21) tidied up the rest, and poor Ian Sandwell departed without troubling the scorers at all. Stephen Pearce's 35 was about the only defiance on offer. A word too for Adam Jackson, who brought up his 100th career wicket along the way — a lovely personal landmark on a fine team day.

A win by 128 runs, then, and a thoroughly satisfying afternoon's work. Onwards we go.

Tue 17 May 2005 🧢 Twenty20v DC Detling CC · AwayformWWWWW

Tuesday 17 May 2005, and off we trundled to Detling CC with the sun out and expectations modest, as is traditional.

Winning the toss, I had no hesitation in taking first strike — call it captain's instinct, call it luck, I'll happily take the credit either way. Twenty overs brought us 97/6, a total that felt distinctly middling until Russell Baldwin decided otherwise, farming the strike beautifully for an unbeaten 48. Not for the first time this season, Russell was doing the heavy lifting while the rest of us admired from the other end.

What followed with the ball was, frankly, a joy to watch. Detling's reply folded to 58 all out in just 16 overs, and three of their number — Gavin Wenborn, Barry Town and M Stevens — trooped off without so much as a run to their name. Michael Beeney was magnificent, ripping through with 3-6, well supported by Richard Knowler (2-5) and Darren Styles (2-10). Between them they hardly gave Detling a moment's peace.

A quiet word of pride, too: Russell's 48 nudges him past Malcolm Pay and up to 24th on the club's all-time run charts — a name added to the honours board of sorts. He now tops our 2005 Twenty20 run pile, with Michael leading the wickets column.

A comfortable win by 39 runs, then, and precisely the sort of evening that makes the drive to Detling worthwhile. Onwards indeed.

Sat 14 May 2005 🧢 2nd XIv RC Rumwood CC · AwayformLWDLW

Saturday last took us over to Rumwood, and having won the toss I sent them in — a decision that looked shrewd for about four overs and considerably less shrewd thereafter. J Chapman played the innings of the day, a polished 52, with useful support from G Fernand (31) and R Feltham (20) as they racked up 199/8. My own contribution came with the ball rather than the bat, picking up 2-28, and I was grateful for the company of Rob Jackson (1-24) and Dave Todd (1-24) keeping things respectable.

Respectable, alas, is not a word one could apply to our reply. We were bowled out for 73, a collapse so comprehensive it rather overshadowed my own golden blob at the top of the order — a captain, I'm told, must lead by example, and on this occasion I led it straight back to the pavilion. Christopher Thirkell and Gareth Davies kept me company on the duck-shaped bench. Eighteen byes crept past a beleaguered Mike Elworthy, which tells its own sorry tale of a testing afternoon behind the stumps.

On brighter notes for the season, Ron McCormick continues to build a fine 2nd XI, sitting second in the run charts with 96, while Gareth Davies leads the wicket-takers with 6 — form no doubt about to desert the rest of us entirely.

Down by 126 runs, then, and no dressing it up as anything other than a chastening day out. Heads up, chins high, and back to the nets.

Sat 14 May 2005 🧢 1st XIv Staplehurst CC · HomeformDWWDL

Saturday brought Staplehurst to Linton Park, and for a good long while it looked like being our day. We posted 184 for 6, a total built on Paul Gibson's fine half-century of 53, with young Daniel Thirkell chipping in 33 and I contributed 42 myself down the order. It wasn't all plain sailing — the first wicket fell for a solitary run, enough to make the tea urn rattle nervously — but a stand of 53 for the third wicket steadied things nicely. Spare a sympathetic thought for poor Russell Baldwin, who departed for a golden duck; these things happen to the best of us, and I dare say he'll get his revenge before the season's out.

Defending 184 should have been comfortable, and for four-fifths of the innings it very nearly was. Daniel was magnificent with the ball, tearing through the order for 4 for 49, well supported by Ian Hollingworth's miserly 2 for 34 (three maidens, no less) and Dennis Salisbury's 1 for 44. But Tim Watts had other ideas, compiling an imperious unbeaten century, ably assisted by A Henson's 21 in an 82-run stand that turned the match on its head. We fell agonisingly short, beaten by a single wicket.

There was a silver lining amid the gloom: Daniel's four scalps carried him past Terry Donovan into 18th on the club's all-time wicket-takers list, and he now leads both our 2005 run and wicket charts. Not our day, all told — heads up, and back to the nets.

Sun 08 May 2005 🧢 Sunday NVKCv High Halstow CC · AwayformWWWWL

Sunday 8th May, and the road took us to High Halstow – always a fixture I mark in the diary with a mixture of fondness and mild dread, given the state of their outfield in past years.

Winning what passed for a toss, we sent High Halstow in, and they made themselves thoroughly at home, closing on a healthy 184 for 7 from their 40 overs. Luke Donnelly led the charge with 39, well backed by Daren Brumbaugh's 37 and Tim Munday's 30 – a proper top-order squeeze that had us chasing our tails in the field for a while. Small mercies: Tom Hanman departed without so much as troubling the scorers, which brought a ripple of quiet satisfaction through the ranks. With ball in hand, Daniel Thirkell was the pick of the attack, snaring 2 for 28, with Matthew Carter (1-21) and Michael Beeney (1-33) chipping in nicely, while Ian Hollingworth bowled two overs so mean not a run was given away lightly.

Chasing 185, we simply cantered. Daniel made light work of a fine 85 not out, and I was rather pleased to play my part alongside him with 75 not out of my own, the pair of us seeing the side home in just 31 overs without further alarm.

A comfortable nine-wicket victory, then, and a thoroughly good day for the club – the sort of afternoon that makes the drive to High Halstow worth every pothole.

Sat 07 May 2005 🧢 2nd XIv West Farleigh CC · AwayformWLWDL

Lost the toss, asked to bowl — never my favourite start to an afternoon at West Farleigh, but the lads set about it well enough. Greg Snape's 39 was the spine of their innings, with Kevin Presneill (30) and Simon Thirkell (24) chipping in to see them to 180 for 8 off their forty. Gareth Davies was the pick of us with the ball, 2 for 23 and three maidens of proper old-fashioned miserliness, with Rob Jackson (2-30) and Dave Todd (1-32) doing their bit to keep the total honest rather than embarrassing.

Chasing 181 is never a formality, but Ron McCormick made it look almost leisurely, sailing past his fifty to finish on 65, and Kevin Presneill followed his tidy bowling figures with a fine half-century of his own — 50 to go with the 30, which is the sort of afternoon you dream about and rarely get. Simon Thirkell finished unbeaten on 39, seeing us home in some comfort at 181 for 6. Spare a thought, though, for poor Gareth Davies, who took the long walk back for nought — the Duck Club ledger duly updated — and for Presneill again, whose afternoon with the gloves was rather less glorious than his afternoon with the bat, 14 byes slipping through like water off a well-oiled duck.

Up in the season table, Presneill now leads the 2nd XI run charts with 131 and Davies tops the wicket pile with 5 — proof that a rough day in one department needn't spoil a fine one in another. Four wickets, two points, and thoroughly deserved.

Sat 07 May 2005 🧢 1st XIv Rodmersham CC · HomeformWDWWD

Beaten again, but not without a fight, and there's rather more to say about that than the scoreline lets on. I called it right at the toss and, with the sun out and the outfield running quick, fielding first felt the sporting thing to do. Rodmersham had other ideas about being sporting back. Daniel Mason simply refused to get out, ambling to a magnificent hundred, with P Botha keeping him company for a classy 71 and David Cogger unbeaten on 29 as they racked up 225 for 2 off their thirty-five. Matthew Carter toiled manfully for 1-50 and Paul Gibson chipped in with 1-52, but really it was one of those days where the bowling figures tell you more about the batsmen than the bowlers.

Chasing 226 was always going to be a stretch, and so it proved. Paul Gibson batted with real intent for 42, James Piper (25) and Adam Jackson (22) gave him company, but wickets tumbled at the other end — Brian Piper and Richard Piper both departing for ducks — and we subsided to 121 for 8 from our thirty-three overs. Nine byes in the book, meanwhile, made for uncomfortable reading for poor Russell Baldwin behind the stumps; not his finest afternoon with the gloves.

Beaten by 104 runs, no arguing with that. But there were enough green shoots — Gibson's innings chief among them — to suggest we'll give a better account of ourselves next week.

Sun 01 May 2005 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv AC AA Gravesend CC · HomeformLDWWW

Sunday the 1st of May found us at home, and after losing the toss I sent us out to field first, hoping for early inroads. We got some, and gave away precious little else — three of theirs, Kershad, Fiaz and Rahman, trudged back without troubling the scorers, while Matthew Carter bowled beautifully for 3-15. I chipped in with 2-30, Darren Styles matched that figure with 2-30 of his own and, showing rather more discipline than the rest of us, squeezed out two maidens along the way. For all that good work, Shahshair, Adnan and Usman all found form with the bat — 39, 39 and 35 respectively — and they closed on a stiffish 177/8 from their forty overs.

Chasing it, Graham Walker batted with real purpose for 49, and I was glad to lend a hand with 39 of my own, the pair of us doing our best to keep the required rate honest. Poor Christopher Thirkell, though, fell for a golden duck, and without further substantial support we ran out of partners and overs both, closing on 159/6.

Down by 18 runs, then — not our day, and there's no dressing it up. Small consolation that I sit atop the season's run charts with 148 and Matthew Carter leads the wickets with four, but consolation is all it is. Heads up, chins high, and back to the nets we go.

Sun 01 May 2005 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv LK Leigh CC, Kent · AwayformLDWLW

From the captain's chair — Sunday 1st May 2005, and the road took us to Leigh CC, out in the Kentish sunshine with, alas, a coin that refused to cooperate. Lost the toss, put into the field, and mildly resigned to our fate as they chose to bat first.

As it turned out, resignation was misplaced. Leigh were bowled out for a modest 103 in 37.2 overs, Nick Weston's 23 the only real resistance, and the middle order simply evaporated in front of us, 44-2 collapsing to 51-5 before anyone could reach for their thermos. Will Martin and Adam Reeves departed without so much as troubling the scorers, which is the sort of sentence a captain writes with quiet, undignified glee. The afternoon belonged to Gareth Davies, whose 6-15 was a five-for of real quality and thoroughly deserved, with James Piper and Brian Piper chipping in a wicket apiece for 13 runs each, and Joe Martin bowling three tidy maidens to squeeze the life out of things.

Chasing 104, we made harder work of it than the bowling perhaps warranted, losing an early wicket with just 3 on the board for a properly nervy start. I was glad to see it through with an unbeaten 26, Mike Elworthy a fine ally with 23, and the tail wagged merrily to a final 41 that frustrated Leigh no end — though Chris Newman's nought will earn him the traditional walk of shame in the Duck Club ledger.

A fine win by four wickets, then, and a thoroughly satisfying afternoon's work. Onwards.

Sat 30 Apr 2005 🧢 2nd XIv BC Bidborough CC · AwayformWWLWD

I called it right at the toss and, with a green look to the Bidborough pitch, had no hesitation sending them in — a decision I stood by for about thirty-nine overs before it began to look distinctly reckless. They ground their way to 176/7 from their forty, Peter K Eames the chief architect with a fine 51, well supported by Rob Pritchard's 34 and Steve Waller's 32. We did have our moments — Reichel was sent back without troubling the scorers, which always cheers a fielding side up no end. Gareth Davies did the real damage with 3-46, and useful support came from Simon Thirkell (1-13) and Ian Hollingworth (1-19).

Chasing 177 to win, we made a fair fist of it. Kevin Presneill top-scored gloriously with 81, ably backed by Ron McCormick's 28 and a tidy 20 from Simon Thirkell, while poor Richard Piper made the long walk back for nought — the Duck Club welcomes another member. Presneill's afternoon behind the stumps was rather less serene, ten byes going begging, though nobody's perfect with bat, gloves and the season's top run tally all in one day.

In the end we fell agonisingly short, 175/7 to their 176/7 — one solitary run the difference between glory and gloom. Heads up, chins high, and back to the nets: this one will sting for a while, but it was cricket of the very best, most heart-breaking kind.

Sat 30 Apr 2005 🧢 1st XIv CC Catford Wanderers CC · HomeformLWDWW

From the captain's chair, and I'll admit I lost the toss again — Catford Wanderers took first use of a decent-looking pitch and set about building an innings. They ground their way to 169/7 from 44 overs, Percy Drummond the main architect of the total with a well-made 42, well supported by M H Shaboodien's 35 and Clinton Hibbert's 25. Credit where it's due with the ball: Daniel Thirkell was outstanding, 2-15 and metronomic all afternoon, with Dennis Salisbury chipping in 2-25. I managed to prise one out myself for 7 runs, which I shall take without complaint.

Chasing 170, we set about our reply with more application than fireworks, closing on 142/5 from our 34 overs. Matthew Carter played the innings of the day, unbeaten on 47 and the calmest man at the ground, while Daniel Thirkell — clearly not content with his bowling exploits — added 31 with the bat, and Russell Baldwin weighed in with a tidy 23. Thirkell, incidentally, now sits proudly atop both our run and wicket charts for the season, and on this evidence nobody is challenging him for either crown any time soon.

In the end honours were shared, neither side quite able to force the win, and there are surely worse ways to spend a Saturday than a hard-fought draw against good opposition. A fair result, all told — and tea, as ever, was the outstanding performance of the day.

Sun 24 Apr 2005 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv SC Sidcup CC · HomeformDLDWW

I'm the wrong tool's stand-in here — no research needed, just writing the report directly.

Sunday 24th April, and Sidcup CC rolled up to Linton Park with the sun out and, having lost the toss, chose to stick us in. I can't say I minded — on a belter of a pitch like this, batting first was no hardship at all.

What followed was as good an innings as I've had the pleasure of watching from the non-striker's end, and indeed being part of. Russell Baldwin and I put on 186 for the second wicket, him motoring to 91, and I was fortunate enough to nurdle my way to a hundred, finishing on 109 — a personal milestone that was every bit as satisfying as it sounds. Nigel Thirkell came in and cracked an unbeaten 47 to help us close on a formidable 277 for 3 from our forty overs. Declarations weren't needed; the runs did the talking.

If our batting was a stroll in the park, Sidcup's reply was a horror show entirely of our own making — in the best possible way. Peter Stevenson's battling 20 was about the only thing standing between them and complete embarrassment, as wickets tumbled from 7 for 1 through to 46 for 8 in a blur, three of our victims not even troubling the scorers. Jack Jenner was magnificent with 3 for 11, Ian Hollingworth chipped in with 3 for 20, Matthew Carter and Darren Styles kept the screws tight, and Sidcup were bowled out for a paltry 48.

A special word too for Craig Sands, celebrating his 100th appearance in Linton colours — a wonderful landmark on a memorable afternoon. Won by 229 runs: emphatic hardly covers it.

Sat 23 Apr 2005 🧢 1st XIv WC Wilmington CC · HomeformWLWDW

Skipper's Log — Saturday 23 April 2005. Wilmington CC were the visitors, and I lost the toss, which as ever set the tone for a nervy walk out to bat. Not that we had much to fear as it turned out: Craig Sands played the innings of the day, cruising to 67, with Daniel Thirkell chipping in a fine 41 and I managed 32 of my own down the order. Richard Piper, bless him, will want to forget his golden duck, though the extras column did its bit too, with 31 sundries swelling us to a healthy 217/6 from our 40 overs.

Defending that total, we knew Wilmington would have their say, and Richy Wootten made sure of it with a classy 73, well supported by Kevin Saunders' 34. But this was Daniel Thirkell's afternoon through and through — figures of 4-12 that pulled the rug from under any chase, with Gareth Davies (3-33) and Rob Jackson (1-35) mopping up round him, and Adam Jackson keeping things tight with two maidens. Chris Laidlaw fell for a duck at our hands, and poor Craig Sands paid for his runs with the gloves, shipping 10 byes behind the stumps. All out for 188, and the job was done.

A fine win by 29 runs, then, and a thoroughly satisfying afternoon's work all round. Craig Sands now sits proudly atop the run charts and Daniel Thirkell leads the wickets — long may both continue. Onwards.