🦆 The Duck Pond

24 August – 1 September 2026 Five fixtures, nine ducks, and a Bank Holiday Monday pile-up against Linton Park CC that kept three LPCC sides queuing for the zero club. Sunday 2nd XI v Teston CC (away) - Jacob Landman — golden duck 🍩, ct Kieran Savage b Toby Allsworth, first ball. Season duck #3, 4th career (11 innings, 260th all-time). A long-standing Debutante Duck club member, but this week's nought is pure mid-career mischief. On this day in 1965, Frank Brattle (1937–1971, 38 ducks) walked back the same way against Bearsted CC. - Luke Petit — bowled Seb Jeary after a defiant 9 balls. Season #4, career #4 (12 innings, 262nd all-time). Shares Jacob's 1965 echo in Frank Brattle. - Zach Wilde — also bowled by Seb Jeary at #11. Season duck #5, 16th career (59 innings, 97th all-time), level with Alex Keeler (2016–2026, 16 in 169). A Wilde regular — father Nolan on 25 career ducks, kinsman Russell on 2. Friendly XI v Linton Park CC (home, Bank Holiday Monday) - Izzy Carter — bowled Christian Eloff, 4 balls into a senior debut. First innings, first duck — instant induction into the Debutante Duck club, 625th all-time. Level on exactly 1 career duck with "- Howard," whose whole 2006 career began and ended with that same solitary nought. Kin to Matthew Carter (39 career ducks), busy with the ball elsewhere that same afternoon. The Hundred v Linton Park CC (home) - Toby Hughes — golden duck, ct Mark Smith b Will Hughes, first ball. Season #1, 14th career (143 innings, 110th all-time) — shame kept firmly in the family, cashing in this year's Quacked by Kin honour courtesy of sibling Will (7 career ducks). Father Aaron adds 21 more to the household tally. Echoes Allan Cooper's 1980 duck v Staplehurst CC (38 ducks, 1971–1989). - Brandon Eloff — bowled Michael Ludick. Season duck #6(!), 14th career (81 innings, 102nd all-time), a paid-up member of the Only Two Quacks club with Praveen Tunga. The Eloff dynasty rolls on — son Johan on 14, son Christian on 4 (the very man who removed Izzy Carter above). Same 1980 vintage as Toby Hughes. Twenty20 v Linton Park CC (home) - Nick Pennefather — bowled Praveen Tunga. Season #4, 11th career (58 innings, 136th all-time), level with long-serving Andrew Moss (1968–2008, 11 in 135). Kin to Neill Pennefather (2 career ducks). - Mark Smith — ct Brandon Eloff b John Karassellos. Season #3, 3rd career (18 innings, 329th all-time). Father to fellow member Gene Smith (4 career ducks). Joins the 1980 Allan Cooper club too. - Jude Brooks — golden duck, bowled Matthew Carter, first ball. Season #3, 3rd career (6 innings, 321st all-time) — three ducks in six trips to the crease is quite the opening statement. Same 1980 echo in Allan Cooper. Week in summary Nine ducks from five fixtures, three of them golden, with three LPCC sides queuing up on Bank Holiday Monday to be seen off by Linton Park CC. Honourable mention to the Eloff and Hughes households, who between them supplied a sibling-on-sibling dismissal and another entry in the family ledger. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Thomas Beeney — 9 ducks / 37 inns (24.32%) 2. Brandon Eloff — 6 ducks / 27 inns (22.22%) 3. Zach Wilde — 5 ducks / 17 inns (29.41%) 4. John Karassellos — 5 ducks / 19 inns (26.32%) 5. Spencer Gray — 5 ducks / 24 inns (20.83%) The zero club never rests — next weekend's fixtures await their fresh recruits. See you at the crease. 🏏0️⃣

Six fixtures, eight ducks — a rich harvest as the season rounds into its final furlong. Saturday 22 August 🏏 1st XI v Sibton Park CC Tom Campbell walked in at #9 and walked straight back out, lbw to Josh Woodward without troubling the umpire for long — a proper golden duck, first ball faced, no frills. It's his 4th career duck from 43 innings (#274 of 1634 all-time), and kin Stuart Campbell curiously sits on the exact same tally of 4 — a family fondness for the nought, evidently. On this very date in 1953, J Barclay was doing the identical job against Charles Arkcoll, en route to 7 ducks and that season's Duck of the Year gong. 🏏 2nd XI v Snodland Community CC (away) Christian Eloff saw off three balls before Sam Tucker had the last word, bowled at #10. His 4th career duck in just 12 innings (#248 of 1634) — and a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from his actual first-ever knock, though today wasn't a repeat performance. J Barclay, same date, same story, 1953. 🏏 3rd XI v Kings Hill CC (away) Kings Hill were happy hunting ground — three Linton wickets for nought, including a rare full house. William Gray (c Siddiqui b Ward, #4) and James Gray (b Bilal, #8) both departed scoreless, each now level on 8 career ducks apiece — a genuine Two of a Quack for the Gray brothers, one of the honours board's most treasured family categories. William's is his 3rd of the season, James his 1st. Sandwiched between them, Srikrishna Challa (b Bilal, #6) brought up his 5th career duck from 74 innings (#234 of 1634), drawing level with Alex Holt (2022–2026, 21 innings) — kindred spirits in nought-hood. 🏏 4th XI v Town Malling CC (home) Ian Lowe was pouched by Gavin Wenborn off Oscar Wenborn at #8 — his 3rd duck of the season and 8th for the club (48 innings, #168 of 1634). J Barclay, 1953, sends his regards once more. Sunday 23 August 🏏 Sunday 2nd XI v Holcombe & Blue Bell Hill CC (home) John Karassellos fell at #5, bowled by Kannan Sajanan — his 5th duck of the season and a monumental 55th career duck, 11th on the all-time list. A four-time Duck of the Year (2018, 2019, 2020, 2025) and owner of five ducks in a row, John draws level with none other than Luke Welsman on 55 apiece (443 innings) — rarefied air at the summit of the club's dubious distinction. Luke Petit followed shortly after (c Mathew b Sureshbabu, #8) — his 3rd duck of the season and, tidily, 3rd of his career too (10 innings), level with Alexander Daniels (2025–2026, 8 innings). Week in Summary Eight ducks, six matches — Kings Hill alone claimed three, headlined by the Gray brothers' sibling special. Tom Campbell's golden duck was the weekend's purest specimen of the art of not scoring; the rest at least made the bowlers work for it. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏆🦆 1. Thomas Beeney — 9 ducks / 36 inns (25.0%) 2. John Karassellos — 5 ducks / 18 inns (27.78%) 3. Brandon Eloff — 5 ducks / 24 inns (20.83%) 4. Spencer Gray — 5 ducks / 24 inns (20.83%) 5. Anthony Karassellos — 5 ducks / 33 inns (15.15%) The exclusive zero club never rests — next weekend's fixtures await fresh nominations. Pads on, bat straight, no promises. See you out there 🦆🏏

A properly productive week for the exclusive zero club: nine ducks laid across eight fixtures, seven of them on Saturday alone. Let's tour the grounds. Saturday 15 August 1st XI v Mersham Sports CC (h) Jordan Austin opened both the innings and the day's misery, ct Katie Jordan b Ashley Cook for his 3rd of the season and 53rd career duck — 14th on the all-time list, with Duck of the Year 2021 and Diamond Duck honours already banked. On this very day in 1964, John Thirkell (1943-1977, 90 ducks, five-time Duck of the Year) was also dismissed for nought, so Jordan keeps fine calendar company. Will Hughes (b Anurag Mhatre) brought up his 7th career duck, drawing level with current campaigner Daniel Baker on the same tally. A paid-up Debutante Duck club member from his actual debut, long since filed away. Thomas Beeney (b James Rand) notched a 9th duck of the season — 58th career, 10th all-time — and with a Duck of the Year 2026 board entry already secured, he isn't just topping this season's charts, he's defending the crown in real time. 2nd XI v Tonbridge CC (a) Aaron Hughes, ct Prendergast b Batley off just 3 balls, opens his season account and moves to 21 career ducks, level with Dave Todd (1978-2014). Tidy symmetry: his kin Will Hughes was also walking back for nought the very same Saturday, one XI over. 3rd XI v Rodmersham CC (a) Nolan Wilde, ct Linder b Thompson, takes his 4th of the season and 25th career, drawing level with Dave Charlton (1988-2018). 4th XI v New Ash Green CC (h) Mohamed Safeer Ibra Lebbe (lbw b Mick Sumner) already has 3 ducks this season from just 3 career innings — an early and thorough education in the art of not scoring. Gene Smith (b Daryl Horton) reaches 4 for the season and 4 for his career, level with Matthew Ward (2011-2012). Sunday 16 August 1st XI v Grenfell CC (h) Jude Brooks, b Daiwik Singh off 4 balls, records his 2nd of the season and career, joining Alan Probert (2008-2009) — himself a rare double member of the Debutante and Retirement Duck boards. Jacob Landman survived 13 balls before falling ct Patel b Singireddy, his 2nd of the season and 3rd career. On this day in 1953, John Ames (1952-1978, 49 ducks) also departed for nought, against Mote A. Week in summary Nine ducks, eight matches, and Saturday doing the heavy lifting with seven of them spread across four different XIs — consistency of a very particular kind. Thomas Beeney remains the club's chief tormentor-in-chief this season. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🍩 1. Thomas Beeney — 9 ducks, 32 inns (28.1%) 2. Spencer Gray — 5 ducks, 22 inns (22.7%) 3. Brandon Eloff — 5 ducks, 24 inns (20.8%) 4. Anthony Karassellos — 5 ducks, 31 inns (16.1%) 5. Theo Clements — 5 ducks, 34 inns (14.7%) See you all next weekend — the honours board never sleeps, and there's always room for one more nought. 0️⃣🏏

Seven matches, eight ducks, and the exclusive zero club opened its gates once more to the unlucky, the unfortunate, and — twice this week — the entirely golden. A tidy week's harvest. 🏏 1st XI — Borstal CC (away, 8 Aug) A brace for the visitors. Darrell Houghton-Judge fell to Mohammed Azhar after five balls of stern resistance, his 1st duck of the season and 37th of a fine career (277 innings, 34th all-time) — level with Joshua Knowler, who played 2008–2025. Darrell remains a Full House nearly-man, one position shy of ducking right through the order. Last man Matthew Carter joined him moments later, bowled Sam Pepper, his own season-opener and 39th career duck from 316 innings (29th all-time) — level with Chris Newman (2002–2017). Carter is a paid-up Debutante Duck club member and a former Duck of the Year, class of 2004. 🏏 3rd XI — Bredgar CC (home, 8 Aug) Another double, this time at home. Trevor Back edged behind for his 2nd duck of the season and a mighty 95th career nought — 797 innings deep and 3rd on the all-time roll, a regular of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody and Lone Duck top tens. On this very day in 1998, Richard Piper (96 ducks, 2nd all-time) was doing much the same against Bearsted. Curtis Etherington kept him company, bowled Sophie Hogben for his maiden career duck in only his 3rd innings — level with the mysterious - Howard, whose entire Linton career back in 2006 amounted to exactly one. 🏏 Midweek XI — The Mote CC (away, 11 Aug) Theo Clements, bowled Ronak Patel, notched his 5th duck of the season and 15th career (109 innings) — level with Richard Knowler, 2004–2026. 🌞 Sunday 1st XI — Stone-in-Oxney CC (home, 9 Aug) Praveen Tunga went first ball to Toby Withers Green — a golden duck, the purest form of the art — his 4th of the season and 10th career, from the Only Two Quacks board alongside Brandon Eloff. On this day in 1964, John Thirkell (90 ducks, 5th all-time) fell for nought against Harrietsham. 🌞 Sunday 2nd XI — Westerham CC (away, 9 Aug) Two more out at Westerham. Reuben Mundell was caught off Arhum Khan for his 1st duck of the season and 5th career — level with Alex Holt (2022–2026) — and comes from proper duck-collecting stock, sibling Thomas Mundell sat on 8 career noughts and a parent-child pairing with Blair Mundell on 3. Then Alexander Nunn, first ball, bowled Ishtiaq Azram — a second golden duck for the week — his 3rd of the season and 10th career, another to share Thirkell's 1964 date with Harrietsham. 📋 Week in Summary 8 ducks from 7 matches, and a curious symmetry: three fixtures — Borstal, Bredgar and Westerham — each produced a matching pair, and two victims never got off the mark at all. Consistency of a very particular kind. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Thomas Beeney — 8 ducks/30 inn (26.67%) 2. Spencer Gray — 5/21 (23.81%) 3. Brandon Eloff — 5/23 (21.74%) 4. Anthony Karassellos — 5/29 (17.24%) 5. Theo Clements — 5/31 (16.13%) Next fixture looms, and with it, no doubt, fresh additions to the honours board. See you at the crease — or not, as the case may be. 🦆🍩

Only four members qualified for admission this week, but nine matches gave everyone every chance, and the Club never turns away a genuine effort. Quality over quantity, as the exclusive zero club likes to say. Sunday 2nd XI — home to Boughton & Eastwell CC Jacob Landman, in at six, fell b Christopher Francis for his 1st duck of the season and 2nd of an increasingly distinguished career, from just 7 innings. Jacob remains a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club courtesy of a first-baller some time back, and now draws level with Alan Probert, who played 2008 to 2009 and reached the very same tally of 2 in only 2 innings, before promptly retiring on a duck himself. Some finish what they start. At number 11, Alexander Nunn joined him, bowled by Archie Rushin for his 2nd of the season and 9th career duck from 32 innings. That's level with Charles Curteis, a name from 2016 to 2020 who took 50 innings to get there — Alexander is getting to the same dubious distinction at rather more pace. The Hundred — away to Egerton CC, Kent Tim Ludick strode out at first drop and was back in the shed before he'd got comfortable — first ball, bowled Cameron Clarke, a proper golden duck. It's his maiden career nought from 9 innings and his 1st of the season, and it sits him alongside - Howard, whose single career duck came in 2006 in his only innings for the club, before he too bowed out for good. Tim will be hoping his own Duck Club membership runs rather longer. Brandon Eloff, at six, survived a couple of deliveries before edging Tom Richards — his 5th duck of the season and 13th of his career, 109th on the all-time list. That draws him level with Joe Martin, who played 2004 to 2016 and needed 86 innings to reach 13 where Brandon's done it in 77 — triumph through adversity, and rapid triumph at that. Brandon isn't fighting this alone either: fellow duck-club members Johan Eloff (14 career ducks) and Christian Eloff (3) share the family name, though neither troubled the scorers this week. He also remains a standing member of the Only Two Quacks club alongside Praveen Tunga. Week in Summary Four ducks from nine matches — the art of not scoring practised sparingly this week. Boughton & Eastwell and Egerton both took their toll, and Brandon Eloff continues to make a serious fist of the season race. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🥇🍩 - Thomas Beeney — 8 ducks, 27 innings, 29.63% - Spencer Gray — 5 ducks, 20 innings, 25.00% - Brandon Eloff — 5 ducks, 23 innings, 21.74% - Anthony Karassellos — 5 ducks, 27 innings, 18.52% - David Holdstock — 4 ducks, 5 innings, 80.00% Spare a thought for David Holdstock, quietly running the most alarming strike rate in the club without yet cracking the summit. Next fixture, same open invitation: middle stump, minimal footwork, maximum glory. The honours board awaits its next volunteer. 0️⃣🏏

Six ducks fell across eight fixtures this week, with Marden serving up a golden double. Here's who joined the exclusive zero club. 🏏 Saturday — 1st XI v Whitstable CC (home) Alex Keeler got things underway, bowled by Andrew Bennett for 3 balls faced — his first duck of the season and the 16th of a fine career, level with Alex Wade (2014–2026, 16 from 133) at 93rd/94th all-time. Bennett wasn't done. Nick Pennefather edged behind to Paul Gambrill after seven balls for his 3rd duck of the campaign and 10th for the club from 55 innings — level with Jack Jenner (2003–2008, 10 from 53). Nick remains a card-carrying Debutante Duck from his own first-baller days, with sibling Neill Pennefather (2 career ducks) keeping it in the family. 🥇 Saturday — 2nd XI v Marden CC, Kent (away) A golden double at Marden. Brandon Eloff was lbw to Edward Chapman first ball — his 4th of the season, 12th of his career from 75 innings, level with Gareth Davies (2003–2013, 12 from 77). Last man Praveen Tunga matched him stroke for non-stroke, stumped off his very first delivery for his own 3rd duck of the season and 9th of his career from just 34 innings, joining Charles Curteis (2016–2020, 9 from 50). The pair already share the club's Only Two Quacks honour — and having golden-ducked in the very same innings, they've given the ledger fresh material. Brandon's boys keep it a family trade too: Johan Eloff (14 career ducks) and Christian Eloff (3), both fellow members in good standing. 📅 Sunday — 1st XI v Newenden CC (away) Thomas Beeney, bowled by Finnian Piper, chalks up his 8th duck of the season and 57th of an imperious career — 10th on the all-time roll from 350 innings, a timely reminder his Duck of the Year 2026 crown sits firmly in place. On this very day in 2008, Tom Murphy was up to the same tricks against Rumwood CC, en route to 11 career ducks. Father Michael Beeney (38 career noughts) watches on with quiet pride. 🍩 Sunday — 2nd XI v Milstead CC (home) David Holdstock, caught behind off Edward Rowe after 4 balls, notches his 4th duck of the season — his 4th in just 4 innings for the club, a flawless record already good for 247th all-time. He joins Matthew Ward (2011–2012, 4 from 10) on the same tally. Consistency of a very particular kind. 📊 The Week Six ducks, eight matches, and Andrew Bennett doing more damage with the ball than most manage in a month. Marden's golden double was the week's undoubted highlight — or lowlight, depending which end of the innings you were watching from. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Thomas Beeney — 8 ducks, 24 innings (33.3%) - Spencer Gray — 5 ducks, 20 innings (25.0%) - Anthony Karassellos — 5 ducks, 24 innings (20.8%) - David Holdstock — 4 ducks, 4 innings (100%) - John Karassellos — 4 ducks, 12 innings (33.3%) Fixtures resume next week — plenty of scope yet for the club's least wanted honour. See you at the crease. 🦆

Ten matches, ten ducks — the zero club has been busy this week. Saturday — 1st XI v Walmer CC (away) - Anthony Karassellos: ct Birkett b Douglas off 2 balls. His 5th duck of the season, 27th of a long career (rank 56 of 1631) — draws level with Will Thirkell, who played 2008–2020 and also settled on 27. A paid-up Debutante Duck club member and Full House honouree, with father John not far behind on 54 of his own. - Mark Christmas: lbw Bailey off 6 balls. 3rd of the season, 47th career (rank 20) — level with Stuart Cheesman (1990–2022), also on 47. - Thomas Beeney 0️⃣🥇: gone first ball, ct Marsh b Bailey — a golden duck. 6th of the season, 55th career (rank 10), level with Luke Welsman (2012–2026), and already installed as this season's Duck of the Year front-runner. Saturday — 3rd XI v Rainham (Kent) CC (away) A rare Duck and Ducklings moment: Mark Smith (b Flegg) and his son Gene Smith (ct Stepney b Rathi) both back in the hutch for nought in the same innings. Mark moves to 2 career ducks, Gene to 3 — proper family bonding, of a dubious sort. Saturday — 4th XI v Dartford CC (home) Luke Petit: b Pathmarajah off 2 balls — his 2nd of the season and career alike. Midweek XI v Castle Hill CC, Kent (away) Brandon Eloff: ct Van Oorschot b Bromley off 2 balls. 3rd of the season, 11th career (rank 130) — level with Andrew Moss (1968–2008). The Eloff name is a familiar one round these parts, with sons Johan (14) and Christian (3) both carrying the flightless torch. Sunday — 1st XI v Carlton Sports CC, Kent (home) Thomas Beeney again: b Mcdonald off 2 balls. Having gone golden on Saturday, he strode out one king pair shy of immortality on Sunday — only to be bowled second ball instead. 7th of the season, 56th career, and still the man to catch. Sunday — 2nd XI v Marden CC, Kent (away) David Holdstock: b Hutchins off 2 balls. 3rd of the season and 3rd career, from just 3 innings — a flawless record of not troubling the scorers, and a fellow Debutante Duck club member from way back. Women's Softball v Platt Junior CC (home) Alison Brown: ct Mitchell b Woolf off 6 balls. 1st duck of the season and career — level with – Howard, whose entire senior career in 2006 amounted to exactly the same tally. Week in summary A genuine family double for the Smiths and a near-miss king pair for Thomas Beeney headline the week, as the tail once again did most of the honours. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 1. Thomas Beeney — 7 ducks / 23 inns (30.4%) 2. Spencer Gray — 5 ducks / 20 inns (25.0%) 3. Anthony Karassellos — 5 ducks / 22 inns (22.7%) 4. John Karassellos — 4 ducks / 11 inns (36.4%) 5. Zach Wilde — 4 ducks / 12 inns (33.3%) Bats up next fixture — the zero club never sleeps. 🏏🍩

And then things got busy. Very busy. 🏏 Saturday 11th July 1st XI v Lordswood 🦆 Will Thew – 1st of the season | 39th overall 🚨 THE COUNTDOWN IS ABOUT TO BEGIN. 🚨 Will moves onto 39 career ducks. One more and he reaches 40, meaning he’ll be added to the Duck Club WhatsApp group for the final ten countdown towards full membership. 11 ducks from immortality. One duck from having his phone relentlessly buzz with updates about other people getting out for zero. The pressure is building. 2nd XI v Holborough Anchorians ✅ No ducks. 3rd XI v Orpington Ocelots 🦆 Fergus Herron – 3rd of the season | 3rd overall Three career ducks. All three this season. Fergus has clearly discovered Duck Club and decided there was absolutely no point wasting time. 🦆 Gene Smith – 2nd of the season | 2nd overall Two this season. Two overall. Another player enjoying a 100% 2026 Duck Club conversion rate. 🦆 Paul Baker – 2nd of the season | 2nd overall And another! Paul matches Gene perfectly with his second of the season and second overall. The 3rd XI clearly running some kind of Duck Club recruitment programme. 4th XI v Orpington Ocelots 🦆 David Day – 1st of the season | 3rd overall David opens his account for the season and moves onto three career ducks. 🦆 Zach Wilde – 4th of the season | 15th overall Zach moves onto four for the season and 15 overall. A strong 2026 campaign continues, and he’s now firmly among this season’s leading Duck Club contributors. 🦆 Luke P – 1st of the season | 1st overall 🎉 WELCOME TO DUCK CLUB! 🎉 The first is always special. Luke P records his maiden career duck and officially enters the record books. One down. Only 49 more required for membership. 🏏 Sunday 12th July 1st XI v Mersham-le-Hatch 🦆 Mardey Castle – 2nd of the season | 11th overall Mardey moves onto two for the season and 11 career ducks. Steady progress and another contribution to what was becoming a very productive weekend. 🦆 Anthony Karassellos – 4th of the season | 25th overall 🚨 HALFWAY THERE! 🚨 Anthony reaches 25 career ducks and is now officially halfway to full Duck Club membership. Following in his father’s footsteps, Anthony joins Razor Ray Dixon and Nat Presneill on the 25-duck milestone. Twenty-five down. Twenty-five to go. A proud day for the Karassellos family. 2nd XI v Gills Green 🦆 William Gray – 2nd of the season | 7th overall William moves onto seven career ducks and keeps pace in one of Duck Club’s most intriguing family rivalries. The Gray brothers remain neck and neck in the all-time statistics. Forget the Ashes. Forget India v Pakistan. This is the rivalry cricket fans want to see. 🦆 Nolan Wilde – 3rd of the season | 24th overall Nolan moves onto 24 career ducks. One more and he reaches the halfway mark. With Zach also adding another this weekend, the Wilde family continues to make an important contribution to Duck Club history. 🦆 Ben Wheeler – 3rd of the season | 3rd overall Three this season. Three overall. Ben joins Fergus in demonstrating the sort of commitment to rapid Duck Club progression that deserves recognition. 🦆 David Holdstock – 2nd of the season | 2nd overall David rounds off an enormous weekend for Duck Club with his second of the season and second overall. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🏆🦆 THE 2026 DUCK CLUB TOP 10 🦆🏆 The latest standings are in. With an unfortunate number of players tied on three ducks, the Duck Club algorithm has been consulted to determine who receives the honour of appearing in the Top 10. Nobody understands the algorithm. Nobody is allowed to question the algorithm. The algorithm is final. 🥇 1. Thomas Beeney – 5 ducks The Duck Club Secretary leads from the front. Five ducks from 20 innings means the man responsible for recording, analysing and publicly documenting everyone else’s batting failures is currently providing more material than anyone. Some might suggest this represents a serious conflict of interest. Others might question the integrity of an algorithm that places the Duck Club Secretary at the top of the standings. Fortunately, all such complaints must be submitted directly to the Duck Club Secretary. We call it good governance. 🥈 2. Spencer Gray – 5 ducks Level at the top with five ducks, Spencer is denied first place only by the mysterious inner workings of the Duck Club algorithm. Five ducks from 18 innings and an average of 8.92. An outstanding campaign. 🥉 3. Euan Beardwell – 4 ducks Four ducks from 17 innings sees Euan occupy the final podium position. With three career ducks before the season began and seven now, 2026 has been something of a breakthrough year. 4. Theo Clements – 4 ducks Four ducks despite scoring 370 runs at an average of 19.47. Proof that Duck Club welcomes everyone. Form, runs and half-centuries offer no protection here. 5. Anthony Karassellos – 4 ducks Four ducks. 443 runs. A century. A strike rate of 120.36. The highest batting average in the Top 10. Anthony is proving that you can be simultaneously very good at batting and very good at getting out for absolutely nothing. A remarkably versatile cricketer. 6. John Karassellos – 4 ducks The reigning 2025 Duck of the Year is back in familiar territory. After last season’s championship-winning campaign, John clearly has no intention of surrendering his crown without a fight. Four ducks from just nine innings puts him firmly amongst the 2026 title contenders and represents an extraordinary strike rate of one duck every 2.25 innings. The rest of the field may have played more cricket, but the defending champion understands that Duck Club is about quality, not quantity. Form is temporary. Class is permanent. And John Karassellos remains very much a class act. 7. Zach Wilde – 4 ducks Twelve innings. Nineteen runs. Four ducks. An average of 1.90. A high score of 8 not out. This isn’t just a place in the Top 10. This is a statistical masterpiece. 8. Daniel Baker – 3 ducks A bittersweet entry into the Top 10 as Daniel’s 2026 Duck Club campaign comes to an end, with his impending move to Yorkshire bringing the curtain down on his season. Three ducks from 21 innings proved enough for the mysterious Duck Club algorithm to grant him a farewell appearance in the standings. He may have spoiled things slightly by scoring 540 runs alongside them, but we won’t hold that against him. So, for the final time this season, Duck Club bids farewell to Daniel and wishes him all the best for his move north. Thank you for your service, your runs and, most importantly, your ducks. Once Duck Club, always Duck Club. 🦆 9. Henry Campbell – 3 ducks Five innings. One run. Three ducks. An average of 0.25. A strike rate of 7.69. Ladies and gentlemen, we may have found the most efficient Duck Club cricketer in Linton Park. Henry has faced the fewest innings of anyone in the Top 10 and still forced his way into ninth place. Exceptional work. 10. Johan Eloff – 3 ducks Johan claims the final position. Three ducks from 19 innings sees him emerge victorious from the enormous group of unfortunate souls sitting on three for the season. Why Johan? The algorithm has spoken. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 📊 THE TABLE 🥇 Thomas Beeney — 🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆 🥈 Spencer Gray — 🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆 🥉 Euan Beardwell — 🦆🦆🦆🦆 4️⃣ Theo Clements — 🦆🦆🦆🦆 5️⃣ Anthony Karassellos — 🦆🦆🦆🦆 6️⃣ John Karassellos — 🦆🦆🦆🦆 7️⃣ Zach Wilde — 🦆🦆🦆🦆 8️⃣ Daniel Baker — 🦆🦆🦆 9️⃣ Henry Campbell — 🦆🦆🦆 🔟 Johan Eloff — 🦆🦆🦆 ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🏆 THE THREE-WEEK ROUND-UP 🏆 The headline act remains Trevor Back, who moves onto a staggering 94 career ducks and sits just six away from the century. Jordan Austin continues life beyond the 50 mark, reaching 52. Will Thew moves onto 39 and is now 11 ducks from immortality, but just one away from entering the WhatsApp group for the final ten countdown. Anthony Karassellos reaches the halfway milestone of 25, following in his father’s footsteps and joining Razor Ray Dixon and Nat Presneill. Nolan Wilde sits just one behind him on 24. Meanwhile, the battle for the 2026 Duck Club Championship is intensifying, with Thomas Beeney and Spencer Gray leading the way on five, pursued by a four-strong chasing pack of Euan Beardwell, Theo Clements, Anthony Karassellos, John Karassellos and Zach Wilde. At the other end of the journey, Luke P records his first ever Duck Club contribution, while Fergus Herron and Ben Wheeler have wasted absolutely no time in collecting three career ducks apiece during 2026. Three weeks. Twenty ducks. One man approaching 100. One man approaching the WhatsApp group. One man reaching halfway to immortality. And the Duck Club secretary currently sitting top of his own competition. 🦆 The Duck Club season rolls on… 🦆 ⭐🦆⭐ A MAN WHO NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION… ⭐🦆⭐ 524 games. 432 innings. 7,131 runs. 37 fifties. 2 centuries. And, most importantly… 55 DUCKS. A man who achieved the seemingly impossible dream of 50 before 30. A man whose commitment to getting out for absolutely nothing earned him the highest office in the land. A man who no longer merely participates in Duck Club. He presides over it. A man for whom Duck Club is not just a club. Duck Club is life. ⭐ LUKE WELSMAN ⭐ 🦆 DUCK CLUB PRESIDENT 🦆 👑 50 BEFORE 30 👑

🏏 Saturday 4th July 1st XI v Offham 🦆 Ben Austin – 2nd of the season | 31st overall Another Austin enters the report as Ben moves onto 31 career ducks. The family contribution to Duck Club continues to grow. 🦆 Henry Campbell – 3rd of the season | 12th overall Henry moves onto three for the season and 12 overall. More importantly, those three ducks have come from just five innings. Efficiency. 2nd XI v Offham ✅ No ducks. 3rd XI v Borstal 🦆 Euan Beardwell – 4th of the season | 7th overall Euan moves onto four for the season and is rapidly establishing himself as one of 2026’s most consistent contributors. Seven career ducks now, with more than half arriving this season alone. Outstanding acceleration. 4th XI v Bapchild 🦆 Trevor Back – 1st of the season | 94th overall 🚨 NINETY-FOUR. 🚨 Never too old to get a zero. Trevor returns to the Duck Club report for the first time this season and moves onto a quite magnificent 94 career ducks. Just six more. Six. The century is now close enough to taste. History awaits. 🦆 Ian Lowe – 2nd of the season | 7th overall Six days after opening his account for the season, Ian decides one simply wasn’t enough and immediately comes back for another. That’s two for the season and seven overall. Form is temporary. Duck Club is permanent. 🏏 Sunday 5th July 1st XI v Sandwich Town ✅ No ducks. 2nd XI v Addington ✅ No ducks. 🏏 Wednesday 8th July Midweek 100 Ball v Marden ✅ No ducks. Week 12 belongs to Trevor Back. Ninety-four career ducks and counting. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🦆

🏏 Saturday 27th June 1st XI v Ashford Town 🦆 Jordan Austin – 2nd of the season | 52nd overall Jordan moves onto 52 career ducks and continues to quietly build the sort of total that guarantees lifelong membership of this prestigious institution. Already safely through the doors of Duck Club, Jordan clearly sees no reason to stop contributing. 2nd XI v Staplehurst 🌧️ Match abandoned, but those who did make it to the crease successfully avoided troubling the Duck Club statisticians. 3rd XI v Faversham 🦆 Jono Sisely – 3rd of the season | 12th overall Jono moves onto three for the season and 12 overall. A strong campaign is developing, and with plenty of cricket still to play, there’s every chance he can add a few more before the summer is out. 4th XI v The Mote 🌧️ Match abandoned before LPCC had the opportunity to bat. Duck Club denied. 🏏 Sunday 28th June 1st XI v Rolvenden 🦆 Ian Lowe – 1st of the season | 6th overall Ian opens his account for 2026 and moves onto six overall. Little did he know he’d be back remarkably soon… 🦆 Ian Hollingworth – 2nd of the season | 36th overall Holly moves onto 36 career ducks and continues his steady march towards the magical 50. Fourteen more required for full Duck Club membership. Keep going, Ian. We believe in you. 2nd XI v Southfleet ✅ No ducks. 🏏 Wednesday 1st July Midweek XI v Warlingham ✅ No ducks. A relatively restrained Week 11 by Duck Club standards. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🦆

17–21 June 2026 Ten fixtures, thirteen ducks, and the season's most committed collector doing it twice in two days. The zero club had a busy weekend. Saturday — 1st XI v Sibton Park CC (away) A genuine cluster bomb: four ducks in one innings. - Laurie Probert — lbw first ball to Steven Rowe, a pure golden duck 🍩. Season duck #1, 14th career (247 innings, 105th all-time). On this very day in 1970, Benny Bell was likewise strolling back for nought. - Luke Welsman — b Steven Rowe (Rowe's second victim of the over). Season duck #2, but the real story is 54 career ducks in 425 innings — 11th all-time, four-time Duck of the Year (2015/16/17/22) and still propping up the Full House nearly-man board. - Mark Christmas — lbw Daniel Mason. Season duck #2, 46th career (504 innings, 21st all-time), drawing exactly level with club great Mike Elworthy on 46. - Henry Campbell — survived 5 balls before falling to Ben Allon. Season #1, 10th career (38 innings). A family trade: sibling Tom (3) and elder Stuart Campbell (4) already club members. - Thomas Beeney — also fell to Ben Allon. Season duck #5(!), 54th career (340 innings, 13th all-time) and the reigning 2026 Duck of the Year in the flesh. Chip off the block of father Michael Beeney (38 career ducks). 2nd XI v Snodland Community CC (home) - Brandon Eloff — bowled Adam Flynn. Season #2, 10th career (66 innings). Sits alongside Praveen Tunga on the Only Two Quacks board, and joins a proper Eloff dynasty — father to Johan (14) and Christian (3). 3rd XI v Kings Hill CC (home) - Spencer Gray — bowled Paul Rothwell. Season #4, 4th career (20 innings), level with -Matthew Ward (2011–2012, 4 in 10). Father to James (7) and William (6) Gray — and not done for the weekend, see below. - Gene Smith — ct Adam Smith b Rothwell (a two-fer for the bowler). First-ever career duck, joining father Mark Smith in the ledger. 4th XI v Town Malling CC (away) - Jonathan Sisley — b Mylo Ferrell-Jr. Season #2, 11th career (31 innings), level with the long-serving Andrew Moss (1968–2008, 11 in 135). - Zach Wilde — also bowled by Ferrell-Jr. Season #3, 14th career (52 innings). A paid-up Debutante Duck, and kin to father Nolan (23) and Russell Wilde (2). Sunday 1st XI v Rainham (Kent) CC (away) - Anthony Karassellos — bowled Philip Skillen. Season #3, 25th career (185 innings, 60th all-time), level with Dave Charlton. A Full House completist (duck at every position) and son of the mighty John Karassellos (54). - Navjot Singh — first ball, b Will Edkins — golden duck on his fourth-ever senior innings. Echoes of Stewart Morrison, similarly undone on this date back in 1987. Sunday 2nd XI v Grafty Green CC (home) - Spencer Gray — bowled again, this time by X Pankhurst, completing a grim pair across Saturday's Kings Hill and Sunday's Grafty Green fixtures. Season duck #5 (career 5, 20 innings) — matching Stewart Morrison's 1987 vintage. Week in summary Thirteen ducks from six of the ten fixtures, with four separate bowlers (Rowe, Rothwell, Allon, Ferrell-Jr) each claiming a brace — proving nought is rarely a solo effort. Spencer Gray's weekend pair puts him top of the pile, one bad ball away from true immortality next time out. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Spencer Gray — 5 ducks / 13 inns (38.46%) 2. Thomas Beeney — 5 ducks / 14 inns (35.71%) 3. John Karassellos — 4 ducks / 9 inns (44.44%) 4. Theo Clements — 4 ducks / 18 inns (22.22%) 5. Jamie Wheeler — 3 ducks / 7 inns (42.86%) Next weekend's fixtures await their fresh candidates — the exclusive zero club never closes its books. See you at the crease. 🏏0️⃣

1st XI v Mersham Sports Theo Clements continued climbing the seasonal standings with career duck number fourteen, his fourth of the season. Theo appears determined to challenge the established elite despite actually being capable of batting. Anthony Karassellos was back again. Another duck takes him to 23 career ducks and keeps him firmly among the all-time greats. 2nd XI v Tonbridge Alex Wade brought up career duck number sixteen, his second this year. Euan Beardwell continued an increasingly concerning campaign with career duck number five, his third duck of 2026. Praveen Tunga also featured, recording career duck number eight and his second of the year. 4th XI v New Ash Green Brandon Lindenberg entered the register. Career statistics remain under review, but the Duck Club committee can confirm he did indeed hear the dreaded quack. Sunday 2nd XI v Harvel Euan Beardwell clearly enjoyed his Saturday effort and returned immediately for career duck number six, already four ducks this season. David Holdstock finally opened his Duck Club account with the first duck of his career. Ben Wheeler wasn't to be left out, collecting career duck number two. Nolan Wilde quietly accumulated career duck number twenty-three, proving longevity is key when hunting waterfowl. ---

Saturday Unfortunately the weather intervened and all Saturday cricket was washed out. The ducks escaped... temporarily. Sunday 1st XI v Town Malling Dan Baker recorded his 7th career duck and 3rd of the season, proving that even one of the club's more reliable batsmen likes to keep in touch with his waterfowl roots. Anthony Karassellos meanwhile registered career duck number 23, his second of the campaign, quietly continuing one of the most impressive long-term Duck Club careers in club history. Sunday 2nd XI v Kings Hill Finlay Morford doubled his career tally with duck number two, making it two ducks from two this season. Spencer Gray collected career duck number three, already his third of 2026, continuing what would become an exceptional run of form. Zach Wilde also got involved, bringing up career duck number thirteen and his second duck of the season. Wednesday T20 v Castle Hill Every Duck Club needs fresh blood. Ashley Cairns wasted absolutely no time introducing himself by recording the first duck of both his career and the 2026 season. Congratulations Ashley - nobody ever forgets their first. ---

Saturday 30th May 1st XI v Addington Theo Clements returns to the report immediately, recording his third duck of the season and 13th overall. With Grandad watching from the boundary sporting his now-famous duck socks, Theo continues his march up both the seasonal and all-time standings. Current career record: * 13 ducks * 92 innings * Duck Ratio: 14.1% Should his current rate continue, further honours may await. 2nd XI v Headcorn Johan Eloff records his 14th career duck, strengthening his lead in the Eloff Family Duck Championship. Current standings: * Johan Eloff – 14 * Brandon Eloff – 9 * Christian Eloff – 3 Family Total: 26 ducks. Nick Pennefather records his ninth career duck and second successive duck. Nick appears to have discovered some form. Alex Wade records his 15th duck in 128 innings, drawing level with fellow Alex, Alex Keeler, in the all-time standings. 3rd XI v Gore Court You simply cannot keep this man out of the report. JK records another duck and moves to 53 career ducks, drawing level with Tom Beeney in both the all-time standings and the race for Duck of the Year. After claiming the 2025 title, JK appears determined to defend his crown. Fergus Herron records his second duck in four innings. Current record: * 2 ducks * 4 innings * Duck Ratio: 50% The statisticians remain divided as to whether this represents a concerning trend or simply the effects of a very small sample size. 4th XI v GNG GRFC Jamie Wheeler records his third duck of the season and third overall, moving firmly into contention for Duck of the Year honours. Andrew Joseph records his fourth duck in just 15 innings, joining FSW Cornwallis in the all-time records. The Cornwallis family, of course, were instrumental in bringing LPCC to its current home at Linton Park in 1861. It is therefore only fitting that their name continues to appear in club history through Duck Club statistics. --- Sunday 31st May 1st XI v Harbledown Ben Austin celebrates his 300th innings for the club in style by recording his 30th career duck. Career Statistics: * 300 innings * 30 ducks * Duck Ratio: 10% Ben now joins Paul Gibson on the prestigious 30-duck milestone. Paul now tends the square at Chestfield following his move to Whitstable. --- Duck of the Year Standings | Player | Ducks | | ------------- | ----: | | Thomas Beeney | 4 | | JK | 4 | | Theo Clements | 3 | | Johan Eloff | 3 | | Jamie Wheeler | 3 | The race remains finely balanced. Tom Beeney and defending champion JK remain tied at the summit, but Theo Clements, Johan Eloff and Jamie Wheeler are all within striking distance. With over half the season still to play, Duck of the Year remains very much anyone's game.

Saturday 23rd May 1st XI v Whitstable Theo Clements records his second duck of the season and 12th overall. Theo appears to have conducted a drive-by on fellow Duck Club member Sam Boyns, who would be in action the following day in the NVKC fixture. Theo's early-season form suggests he may yet become a serious contender in the Duck of the Year standings. Nick Pennefather records his first duck of the season and eighth overall. Nick must have been travelling in the same vehicle as Theo as he conducts a drive-by on Carl Davis, who enjoyed two tours of Duck Club duty between 1994-1998 before returning for a successful comeback tour from 2007-2009. 2nd XI, 3rd XI & 4th XI No ducks recorded. --- Sunday 24th May NVKC XI v Chestfield The Duck Club headed to the Kent coast and returned with a little fishy. Luke Welsman records his first duck of the season and 53rd overall. Luke has been relatively quiet in recent seasons but remains one of Duck Club's most reliable contributors. He has now recorded at least one duck in each of the last 14 seasons. This week's entry has prompted the introduction of two new Duck Club historical categories: Longest Duck Streak Consecutive seasons with at least one duck. Current historical leaders: 🥇 John Thirkell – 28 consecutive seasons 🥈 Richard Piper – 26 consecutive seasons Career Duck A player who has recorded at least one duck in every season of their LPCC career. Luke's record currently stands at: * Seasons Played: 14 * Seasons With Ducks: 14 A perfect Career Duck record. The question now is not whether Luke is a Career Duck. The question is how long he can keep the streak alive. Sunday 2nd XI v Faversham No ducks recorded. Friendly XI v Bredgar Two new names join the all-time Duck Club register. Ben Wheeler records his maiden LPCC duck after previously avoiding the debutante category. Ben now sits on 1 duck from 4 innings. Finlay Morford also records his first LPCC duck and joins the club with 1 duck from 3 innings. Both have successfully completed their initiation into the Duck Club. Women's Softball v Cobham Claire Rootes records her second duck from four innings. Ashley records her first duck from three innings. Strong early-season representation from the women's section. --- Monday 25th May Kent Ramblers No ducks recorded. ---

Another bumper week in the 2026 Duck Hunting Season, with ducks recorded across both Saturday and Sunday fixtures. Let’s dive into the carnage. --- 🏏 Saturday 1st XI A duckless affair. For once, the 1s managed to negotiate an entire innings without anyone troubling the scorers with a zero. A rare and commendable achievement. --- 🏏 Saturday 2nd XI 🐥 Duck & Duckling Alert! Our special sub-category returns as Brandon and Johan combine to produce another Duck and Duckling moment, following in the webbed footsteps of Nolan and Zach from last weekend. --- 🏏 Saturday 3rd XI 🦆 Daniel Baker Dan secures his 2nd duck of the season and 6th overall for the club. Dan has shown remarkable consistency, recording exactly two ducks in each of his previous two seasons of adult cricket. However, with plenty of cricket left to play, there is ample opportunity to surpass that total. 🦆 Mark Smith Mark joins the LPCC Duck Hunt with his first duck for the club. This was only his third appearance for LPCC, and his maiden duck. Impressively, in his debut match he scored 50 not out, which automatically removed him from contention for several prestigious categories, including: * 🏆 Debutante Duck * 🏆 50 Before a 50 A strong start, but now officially inducted into the Duck Club. --- 🏏 Saturday 4th XI 🦆 Jamie Wheeler Jamie adds to his season tally, moving to 2 ducks in 3 innings in 2026. This is his second adult duck in just seven innings overall, drawing him level with club legend Andy Bell. Andy played only eight matches across three seasons between 2008 and 2011, but his contribution to the Duck Club remains unforgettable. --- 🌞 Sunday Cricket 🏏 Sunday 1st XI vs Holborough Anchorians 💥 Complete Batting Massacre Holborough tore through the LPCC batting line-up, producing: * 🥇 2 Golden Ducks * 🦆 1 Regular Duck * 4 players scoring exactly one run to narrowly avoid disaster Late draft pick Nick Tromp single-handedly saved LPCC from complete humiliation, scoring more than half the total. Extras were the second-highest scorer, while the remaining ten batsmen all failed to reach double figures. --- 🦆 Praveen Praveen records his first duck of the 2026 season and 7th overall. Having joined LPCC from Alveston CC near Bristol in 2024, Praveen has settled well into life at the Park. We also learned that Praveen does not drive, and Martin made him take the bus from Penenden Heath to Holborough. A rather harsh welcome to the squad. Shame on Martin. --- 🦆 Mardey Castle Fresh from a recent century (with the ball), Mardey records his first duck of the season and 10th overall for LPCC. His batting fortunes have improved significantly since his junior days, during which he amassed an impressive 17 junior ducks. --- 🦆 Thomas Beeney Despite my best efforts to escape these reports, I once again find myself featured. This was my 4th duck of the season, extending my lead in the Duck of the Year race. Overall tally: 53 ducks. The hunt continues. --- 🏏 Sunday 2nd XI 🦆 John Karassellos (JK) You can never keep a great duck hunter down. JK records his 3rd duck of the season, keeping the Duck of the Year race very much alive. Career tally: 52 ducks. The pressure is mounting. --- 🦆 Fergus Herron In only his third match for LPCC, Fergus records his first duck for the club. He successfully avoided the Debutante Duck, but now joins the ranks of the Linton elite. --- 🦆 Spencer Gray Spencer records his 2nd duck of the season and 2nd overall across his three-season LPCC career. --- 🏆 Duck of the Year Standings – Week 5 | Rank | Player | Ducks | | ---- | ---------------- | ----: | | 🥇 1 | Thomas Beeney | 4 | | 🥈 2 | John Karassellos | 3 | | 🥉 3 | Daniel Baker | 2 | | 4 | Johan Eloff | 2 | | 5 | Spencer Gray | 2 | --- 🦆 Hall of Fame Watch * Thomas Beeney – 53 ducks * John Karassellos – 52 ducks * Mark Smith – Begins his journey * Fergus Herron – Officially inducted * Spencer Gray – Quietly building momentum --- Until next week, keep your heads still, watch the ball closely… and remember: Every innings is just one good delivery away from immortality. 🦆🏏

Six matches this week — four league fixtures on Saturday and two games on Sunday — provided ample opportunity for ducks to flourish. But did the weekend live up to expectations? We dive into the scorecards to see who now leads the charge for Duck of the Year 2026 and whether any of Duck Club’s more obscure subcategories gained new members. --- Double Duck Weekend Propels a New Leader We begin with the crushing 1st XI defeat away to Lordswood Cricket Club. Runs were plentiful, unfortunately only for Lordswood. Three Linton batsmen managed to scramble a single run to avoid adding to their duck tallies. I was not among them. Saturday’s dismissal without scoring brought my career total to 51 ducks, drawing level with John Karassellos and Ian Brattle. However, I did not remain there for long. What better way to honour Ian Brattle — the holder of the legendary six consecutive ducks in the 1975 season — than with a double duck weekend? Another duck on Sunday saw me bunny-hop over both JK and Brattle to reach 52 career ducks. This milestone also places me alongside Luke Welsman who holds the exclusive and highly prestigious “50 Ducks Before Age 30” category. More importantly, I now emerge as the outright leader in the 2026 Duck of the Year standings with three ducks for the season. JK will have his work cut out if he is to retain the Duck of the Year trophy he won in 2025. --- Second XI – A Rare Duckless Affair The 2nd XI produced a disappointingly duck-free scorecard, so we move swiftly on. --- Third XI – Four Ducks and Two New Members The 3rd XI more than compensated for the Second Team’s restraint, recording four ducks: * Euan Beardwell * Spencer Gray * Paul Baker * Tim Thirkell Tim Thirkell – King of the Ducks Tim continues to soar above the flock with an astonishing 104 career ducks. It is lonely at the summit. Euan Beardwell Euan records his fourth senior duck for Linton across four seasons, drawing level with Matt Ward, who remarkably accumulated all four of his ducks in his final season before quietly departing the game. Spencer Gray Spencer was joined by both sons, Will Gray and James Gray. Sadly, only the father succumbed, meaning the coveted Father and Son Duck and Family of Ducks categories remain unchanged. Paul Baker A second father-and-son combination featured, with Dan Baker playing alongside his father Paul. Again, only the elder Baker was tempted by the duck. Both Spencer Gray and Paul Baker record their first ducks for the club and are formally inducktrinated into the LPCC Duck Family. --- Fourth XI – Dr Safeer Strikes Again Dr Safeer recorded his second duck of the season against the Orpington Ocelots, lasting seven balls before departing. This brings him level with Louis Turney on two career ducks. --- Sunday Cricket – A Hen Appears On Sunday, Claire Rootes departed without troubling the scorers. As Duck Club is an inclusive institution, Claire becomes the latest member and earns recognition as a Hen — the female equivalent of a duck. --- NVKO Update The NVKO fixture against Addington Cricket Club was conceded, granting Linton a bye into the next round where we will face Chestfield Cricket Club. Following last week’s encounter in the KVCL, we are hoping for a more favourable outcome. --- Sunday 1st XI – Another for the Author, and Ian Hollingworth Joins the Party The Sunday 1st XI fixture, moved to Rumwood, delivered two late-order ducks: * Myself (completing the double duck weekend) * Ian Hollingworth For a player with over two decades at the Park and a famously gung-ho approach to batting, it is remarkable Ian has not featured more prominently in Duck Club lore. This was Ian’s 35th career duck, drawing him level with Stan Wratton, whose extraordinary Linton career spanned more than 40 years. --- Sunday 2nd XI Collapse – Four More Ducks The Sunday 2nd XI were bowled out for 66, producing another rich harvest. Noah Stevens Noah Stevens recorded his second adult duck for the club. Nolan and Zach Wilde Nolan Wilde and Zach Wilde both fell for ducks while playing together. This earns them a place in Duck Club Hall of Fame under the prestigious Father and Son Duck category. Jamie Wheeler Jamie Wheeler recorded his first adult duck and is warmly welcomed into the LPCC Duck Club. --- Duck of the Year 2026 Standings (After Week 4) 1. Tom Beeney – 3 ducks 2. John Karassellos – 2 ducks 3. Dr Safeer – 2 ducks 4. Noah Stevens – 2 ducks 5. Nolan Wilde – 1 duck 6. Zach Wilde – 1 duck 7. Jamie Wheeler – 1 duck 8. Will Gray – 1 duck 9. Spencer Gray – 1 duck 10. Paul Baker – 1 duck 11. Claire Rootes – 1 hen --- The season is still young, but the field is beginning to take shape. With a commanding lead and momentum firmly on my side, the question on everyone’s lips is simple: Can anyone stop me from claiming Duck of the Year 2026?

A new leader has emerged in the race for LPCC Duck of the Year 2026. With last week’s duck still fresh in the memory, John Karassellos rose to the occasion on Sunday in the 2nd XI fixture against Marden… by adding another. Marden piled on 307, which proved far too much, with the 2s bowled out for 124 in reply. Included in that total was JK’s second duck of the season — and his 51st all-time. That milestone sees him pull clear of the pack and draw level with Ian Brattle, who holds a special place in Duck Club folklore for one of the most remarkable records: six consecutive ducks during the 1975 season at the Park. Brattle also features in the exclusive “50 ducks before a 50” subcategory — a club so niche it still only has two members. JK, of course, was Duck of the Year 2025. While he’s made an early statement, the season is young — plenty of time for a recovery… or for others to reel him in. In a match that promised much for Duck Club subcategories, Russel Wilde returned to the LPCC side, representing the wider Wilde family alongside Nolan and Zach. Russel, already etched into history with a Debutante Duck back in 2022, didn’t disappoint — now sitting on 2 ducks from just 3 appearances. However, with no ducks for Nolan or Zach, the coveted “Family of Ducks” category remains unchanged… for now. Russel is certainly one to watch. Elsewhere, on Saturday, Will Gray recorded his first duck of the season in his third game, earning a place on this year’s leaderboard. Will now has 6 adult ducks for Linton (a reminder: junior ducks don’t count towards official totals), drawing level with Mick Filmer. Filmer’s career is notable not just for its longevity, but for its curious duck-free comebacks — returning after breaks in 1988 and again in 1993 without adding to his tally. A man who knew when to avoid the spotlight. No other ducks were recorded on a rain-affected Saturday.

A little late with this week’s duck report… I suspect Mark and JK may have thought they’d gotten away with it. Sadly not. I was waiting on the Sunday 2s scorecard… and then promptly forgot. Saturday 1s Two ducks recorded on the card, with Theo falling without troubling the scorers. It’s his first duck of the season and 11th overall, drawing him level with Linton legend Tom Murphy — 11 ducks from 83 innings. Tom, of course, is better known for his work with the Israelis and his sponsorship of the Kabaddi World Championships… Meanwhile, Mark edges ever closer to full Duck Club membership, now sitting on 45 ducks. The Hall of Fame beckons at 50 — just 5 more to go. This latest effort pulls him level with Stewart Morrison, who played between 1987–2011, before a brief 2014 comeback which yielded a tidy 2 ducks in 3 innings. New Entries Dr Safeer opens his Linton duck account — welcome to the board. Jude Brooks also joins the leaderboard via the 3rd XI. The Five Duck Club Dan Baker records his 1st duck in 4 innings this season and 5th overall, joining a well-populated bracket: Ian Lowe – 5 ducks in 34 innings David Lowen – 5 ducks in 75 innings Bob Lines – 5 ducks in 122 innings Special mention to Bob, who also boasts one of the most economical bowling records in club history: 1 over, 0 runs conceded. A true all-round enigma. Milestone Moment 🚨 Fan favourite and reigning Duck of the Year 2025, John Karasellos, refuses to be left behind. He now reaches a confirmed 50 ducks for Linton, putting last year’s “colts game controversy” firmly to bed. John joins the prestigious ranks alongside myself and Jordan in the Duck Club Hall of Fame. He also gets off the mark for the season — in the only way he knows how. Sunday A rare quiet day for the Duck Club — no ducks recorded.

Welcome back to another glorious Duck Hunting season at Linton Park Cricket Club! The 2026 campaign got underway in style this weekend and, crucially, did not disappoint. With five matches across Saturday and Sunday, there was no shortage of opportunity for those dreaded—but celebrated—ducks. As always, best to get those naughty noughts out of the system before the league season fires up in May. And I’m pleased to report… the Duck Club is already thriving. 🏏 Saturday – Bearsted Battles & Early Casualties Linton Park kicked things off with a full club double-header against local rivals Bearsted, with fixtures home and away. At Bearsted Green, the 1st XI got underway. Duck Club regular Jordan Austin opened proceedings and narrowly avoided early honours, grafting his way to 2 before being trapped in front by Alex Lush. Unfortunately, Johan Eloff wasn’t as fortunate—registering the first duck of the 2026 season. A strong start to the campaign for Johan, who now moves to 12 career ducks in just 52 innings, boasting an impressive 23% duck rate. He draws level with LPCC great Burt Buckoke, whose four-decade career (1928–1954) yielded the same tally in 55 innings. All eyes will be on Johan this season to see how far he can push that number. Not to be outdone, Sam Boyns also added to his collection, bringing up his 12th duck for the club. With 148 innings under his belt, Sam maintains a respectable 8% duck rate, now level with Martin Larkin, a familiar name from the 80s and 90s, who reached the same milestone in just 70 innings (albeit better known for his exploits with the ball). 🔥 2nd XI – A Hall of Fame Moment Meanwhile, back at home against Bearsted 2nd XI, things truly heated up. In the closing stages of the innings, chasing quick bonus runs and glory, I strode to the crease with intent… and departed just as quickly. A thick edge, a simple catch, and history was made. Duck number 50. A milestone moment. Bat raised. Crowd (mostly) silent. This achievement secures formal entry into the Duck Club Hall of Fame—an elite gathering of individuals whose ability to accumulate the dreaded duck is unmatched. This landmark innings moves me to 15th in the all-time standings, surpassing David Castle and drawing level with fellow Duck Club member Jordan Austin. Together, we now stand alongside John Ames (1952–1978), who recorded 50 ducks across 418 innings. For context: My 50 ducks: 327 innings (15%) Ames’ 50 ducks: 418 innings Efficiency matters. 🏏 3rd XI – Into Double Figures The 3rd XI clash with Brasted Chart & Toys Hill added another name to the honours board. Jonno Sisely brought up his 10th LPCC duck in just 27 innings, joining the ranks of Theo Clements (present), Brian Fuller (1968–1976), and Don Hartridge (1940–1952). A fine achievement—and a reminder that no one is ever truly alone in the Duck Club. And for perspective, things could always be worse. Special mention must go to Magnus Boxer and E Hayes, who maintain a flawless 100% duck rate. Truly remarkable consistency. 🌱 Sunday – A Mixed Bag Sunday’s fixtures provided a quieter, more selective harvest. The 1st XI emergency fixture against Mallu was, disappointingly, a vegan affair—completely free from fowl. However, the 2nd XI trip to Rumwood to face New Ifield delivered one addition: Alex Nunn – now on 10 career ducks (45 innings), joining Jonno in double figures. Near misses came from Zach Wilde and Nolan Wilde, both falling for 1. A single run away from Duck Club folklore—particularly in what would have been a rare and celebrated Father & Son Duck double. Plenty of time for that yet… 📅 Looking Ahead A strong opening weekend for the Duck Club, with milestones, new members, and early-season form all on display. With the league season fast approaching, the question remains: Who will rise (or fall) to the occasion next weekend? We watch. We wait. We celebrate. 🦆

A single fixture ventured out this week, and for once the club must report a genuine rarity: not a single duck to be found anywhere on the scorecard. All eleven Linton batters got off the mark, umpires stayed unbothered, and the exclusive zero club gained not one new subscription. Somewhere out there, the ducks are lying low. Perhaps they sensed the net was out. Perhaps it's simply too early in the year for anyone to have found the particular blend of soft hands and hard luck that the art of not scoring requires. Either way, a quiet week for connoisseurs of triumph-through-adversity — nothing to celebrate, nothing to console. Do not mistake this for good news. A quiet week is merely a loaded week. Ducks, like patience, are best served cold, and the Committee fully expects this drought to be corrected at the earliest opportunity. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 The 2026 season is freshly opened and the honours board sits untouched — no ducks yet logged means no names yet on it. A blank leaderboard is a dangerous thing: somewhere out there a player is one rash shot away from an early lead they'll spend the rest of the summer trying to shake off. Fixtures resume shortly, and with them the inevitable return of the golden duck, the pair, and — for the truly ambitious — a shot at the King Pair itself. Get your bats out, gentlemen, and try not to get too comfortable out there. The Duck Club never sleeps for long. 🦆0️⃣

A single Linton fixture ventured out this week and, remarkably, returned home entirely unplucked. One match, eleven-plus batters, and not so much as a whisper of a nought to report. The exclusive zero club held its doors shut. Every player who walked to the crease on Saturday found a way to trouble the scorers, however briefly, however unconvincingly. The art of not scoring, it seems, took the week off. Whether this represents genuine improvement in technique or merely a temporary lapse in concentration from the bowling fraternity, we cannot say. The Duck Club statisticians have been left twiddling their thumbs, quills dry, honours board untouched. Rest assured, this drought will not last. Cricket has a way of restoring order, and Linton's finest have not gone twelve months without finding new and creative ways to fail spectacularly for nought. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard The 2026 season is freshly underway and the board sits empty — a blank ledger awaiting its first entrant. Somewhere out there, this year's Duck of the Year is quietly building an innings tally with no idea what awaits them. Until then, the trophy cabinet gathers dust and the crown sits unclaimed. 📅 Looking Ahead A quiet week for the Duck Club, but quiet never lasts. With the season only just getting going, it's only a matter of time before someone obliges. Bring your bats, gentlemen — and your composure. The ducks are always watching, patient as ever, waiting for the first mistimed shot of 2026. We watch. We wait. We celebrate. 🦆