🧢 Captain's Log

Sat 21 Sep 2024 🧢 1st XIv Sissinghurst CC · AwayformDDDDD

A warm, damp Saturday saw us travel to Sissinghurst, and I'm delighted to report the lads made light work of the conditions. Batting first, we posted a handsome 202/2 from our 35 overs, built on the sort of top-order platform captains dream about and rarely get. Jordan Austin led from the front with a well-made 53 not out, Toby Joseph matched him stroke for stroke with a fine unbeaten fifty of his own, and Luke Welsman chipped in an unbroken 38 to round things off nicely. Even the extras column pulled its weight with 28 — not quite man of the match, but not far off some of our top order's fielding either.

Defending 202 is never a formality, and Sissinghurst gave it a proper go, reaching 143/3 off their 35. Ben Parsons played beautifully for his 74 not out, well supported by Philip Buckingham's 30, and for a spell it looked like we might be made to sweat. But the bowling held firm: Alex Wade was pick of the attack with 1-11, Martin Harris chipped in with 1-29, and Farhan Malik was miserly throughout, sending down four maidens that strangled any momentum they threatened to build. I was glad to get among the action myself with bat in hand earlier in the day, though it was very much a team effort that saw the job done.

A word before I close: Luke Welsman brought up 6,000 career runs for the club, a landmark that deserves far more fanfare than a damp Saturday in Kent could offer. Between that milestone and a comfortable 59-run victory, this was a Saturday to file firmly under "savour."

Sat 21 Sep 2024 🧢 Friendly XIv Town Malling CC · HomeformLWWWW

A warm, damp Saturday it was, and Town Malling CC came calling with 193 all out from us to defend before a ball had even been sent down at them — no, forgive me, let me start again, because that's the trouble with this game: it never quite goes the way you plan it in the shower beforehand.

We batted first and made 193, which felt like a par score on a slow pitch until we watched the other lot bat. Tim Thirkell led the way with a fine 41, Anthony Karassellos chipped in handsomely with 37 and Harvey Lowe added a breezy 31. I can't claim any part of that total myself — Henry Campbell and I both contributed what the scorebook charitably calls "a golden nothing," which is one way of putting it, though "duck" will do just as well.

With the ball we gave everything, and it very nearly wasn't enough. Sam King bowled beautifully for 2-22, Tim Thirkell backed up his batting with 1-17 and three tidy maidens, and Nick Tromp chipped in with 1-25. But Harry Kemsley simply refused to leave, compiling a chanceless, unbeaten 94 that carried Town Malling home at 195/5, well supported by Thomas Lenham's 35 and Alex Coles' 22.

As for my own afternoon — bowled first ball, or near enough, for nought. We shall, as promised, draw a veil over it. A cricket season of small mercies: Brandon Eloff and Tim Thirkell both sit fourth in their respective club charts, proof there's method beneath the mayhem. Beaten this time, fair and square. We go again.

Sun 15 Sep 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Teston CC · HomeformLLWLW

From the captain's chair — Sunday 15 September 2024, and Teston CC came to visit on a pleasant, showery afternoon that threatened rather more than it delivered. I lost the toss, as is now practically tradition, and duly found myself leading the lads into the field.

Teston set about accumulating in that patient, unhurried way that makes a captain's Sunday feel very long indeed, closing on 110/6 from their forty overs with George Birkett's 32 the backbone of the innings. But we chipped away nicely throughout: Farhan Malik was the pick of the attack with 2-11, well supported by Thomas Beeney's 2-12 and Alex Wade's 1-13, while Ian Hollingworth bowled with real discipline, five maidens speaking to a spell that gave nothing away. Graham Smart, mercifully for us, departed without troubling the scorers.

Chasing 111, we made hard work of the start — seven on the board and already a wicket down, the sort of nervy opening that has the tea urn boiling before its time. But Toby Joseph settled things beautifully, compiling an unbeaten 44 and putting on 74 for the third wicket alongside Luke Welsman's fine 27, and we eased home on 114/4 with the 30th over untouched. Spare a thought for David Day, whose golden duck earns him a solemn entry in the club's ledger of shame.

Two points, thoroughly earned, and a six-wicket win to send everyone off to the bar in good spirits.

Sat 14 Sep 2024 🧢 Friendly XIv Linden Park CC · AwayformWLWWW

We drew Linden Park away and I did the sensible thing at the toss for once — called it right, and with a good pitch under our feet there was never much doubt we'd bat first.

What followed was one of those innings you dream about on the drive home. George Taylor was simply magnificent, ticking his way to 103 and giving the innings a spine that everyone else could lean on. Aaron Hughes played the perfect foil with a crisp 53, and Fred Taylor chipped in with 40 as the pair put on 80 for the third wicket to really set the tone. 258/5 from our 35 overs was a total that had Linden Park's captain reaching for the aspirin before he'd even padded up.

In the field we were, dare I say it, ruthless. Gary Stevenson departed for a golden duck with the total on 8-1, and from there Linden Park never really got going. Martin Harris was the pick of the bowlers with 2-16, well supported by Alex Wade's miserly 2-26 — three maidens in there too, the sort of spell that makes a captain's job easy — and Toby Hughes weighed in with 1-2. Isfandyar Haroon's 29 and Jerome Hayes's unbeaten 25 were the only real resistance as the hosts subsided to 116/7.

A 142-run win, two points banked, and George Taylor's century now has him sitting proudly second in our season run charts. Comprehensive doesn't quite cover it — this was Linton Park at its very best.

Sat 07 Sep 2024 🧢 3rd XIv Bredgar CC · HomeformDDLDD

Saturday 07 September 2024, and we welcomed Bredgar CC to Linton Park in fine spirits. I won the toss and had no hesitation in taking first knock — the sort of decision that looks either shrewd or reckless by teatime, and I'm delighted to report it fell firmly into the former camp.

Altus Diener played the innings of the day, a fine 64 that anchored us through to 155/7 from our forty overs, with useful support from Johan Eloff (21) and Theo Clements (20). Brandon Eloff and Praveen Tunga both departed for golden ducks, proof that even on a good day this game keeps everyone humble.

With ball in hand we set about defending it, and defend it we did. Bredgar were bowled out for 126 in 33.4 overs, Tim Aylett's well-made 55 and Oliver Knight's 21 the only real resistance — Brynn Foot and Jack Louden both back in the pavilion without troubling the scorers. Praveen Tunga led the attack beautifully with 3-31, Tim Thirkell and Henry Campbell chipping in with 2-11 and 2-26 respectively to seal things.

A 29-run win, then, and a thoroughly satisfying afternoon's work. Diener continues to churn out the runs — now second in the 3rd XI charts on 349 for the season — while Campbell tops the wicket pile with 29. Onwards we go, in good heart.

Sat 07 Sep 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Gore Court CC · HomeformDDDDD

Saturday 7th September, and Gore Court arrived at Linton Park under a sky that couldn't decide between drizzle and doing us a favour. We lost the toss, were put in the field, and duly settled in for a long, damp afternoon of chasing leather.

Gore Court made a fair fist of it, 161 for 7 from their forty overs, built around a well-crafted unbeaten 82 from Oliver Patel and useful support from James Newell's 20. Credit where it's due: Matthew Carter did the heavy lifting with 2 for 23, backed up nicely by Mardey Castle (2 for 29, three miserly maidens to his name) and Anthony Karassellos (2 for 32). A fitting stage for it too, as this was Matthew's 300th appearance in Linton colours — a landmark that rather puts the rest of us to shame.

With 162 needed, we never quite found our rhythm. Paul Stevens and Joel Fontenelle both departed without so much as a single to their names, and from there it was a rearguard action that petered out at 119 all out in 36.3 overs. Beaten by 42 runs, and no arguing with the maths.

Still, spare a thought for the bigger picture: Richard Piper continues to lead our 2nd XI run charts with 474 for the season, and Matthew Carter tops the wickets with 31 — proof there's genuine substance in this side even when the collective doesn't click. We'll dust ourselves down and come back stronger next week.

Sat 07 Sep 2024 🧢 1st XIv Rainham (Kent) CC · AwayformDDDDD

Beaten by 2 wickets at Rainham on a warm, showery afternoon in September - not for the first time this season, we contrived to make a decent total look distinctly beatable.

Losing the toss set the tone; Rainham had first use of what looked a fair pitch, and put us in. We ground out 175 for 6 from our 45 overs, a total that owed everything to Henry Bourdillon's unbeaten 53, a proper captain's-knock of an innings even though I wasn't the one wearing the armband that day with the bat. Thomas Roxburgh's 35 and Benjamin Austin's 29 gave it some backbone, and even our extras column pitched in with 26 - generous of Rainham, though I suspect not entirely intentional on our part either.

In the field we scrapped hard. Mark Christmas was superb, his 3 for 36 doing most of the early damage, with George Taylor (2 for 21) and Fred Taylor (1 for 18, three miserly maidens included) squeezing the middle overs for all they were worth. George Mottram and Chris Small both departed for ducks, which should have told the story, but Tom Kelaart's 49, backed up by Michael Tyrer's 27 and Tom Waters' 26, dragged Rainham home to 179 for 8 with two wickets to spare. I managed a few runs myself along the way, which at least keeps me ticking over nicely on the season's run charts.

So, beaten by two wickets - close enough to torment us on the drive home, comfortable enough for Rainham to sleep soundly. We'll dust ourselves down and come back stronger next week.

Sun 01 Sep 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv BC Brockley CC · HomeformLLWLW

A scorcher of an overcast afternoon greeted Brockley CC, and having won the toss I sent them in—a decision that looked rosy for about three overs before A Kumar settled in and made 54 not out, the innings' backbone. B Mathers (45 not out) and J Higgins (43) lent stout support, and between them they dragged Brockley to a stiff 209/8 from their forty. Small mercies: we did at least see off S Weall without troubling the scorers, and it was Zach Wilde who did the real damage, tearing through with 3-31, well backed by Tim Thirkell's 2-43 and James Gray's solitary but welcome 1-26. Without that trio it could have been considerably worse.

Chasing 210 in that heat was never going to be a stroll, and so it proved. Richard Piper played the innings of the day—103, a genuine captain's dream of an effort—and found a willing partner in Anthony Karassellos, who cruised nicely past his own half-century to 57. I chipped in as best I could, though the scoreboard tells the real story: 204/6 from our forty overs, just six runs shy of the target. Cruelly close.

So it's another one that got away, beaten by the narrowest of margins on a day when the sun did more damage than the bowling. Piper continues to lead our 2024 Sunday 2nd XI run charts in some style, while Zach Wilde's 17 wickets keep him handily placed near the top of the bowling table—small consolations on an afternoon that deserved a happier ending. Beaten, not bowed. We go again.

Sun 01 Sep 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Knockers CC · HomeformWLLWL

Sunday the first of September brought Knockers CC to Linton Park under a sky that couldn't decide whether to scorch us or soak us. I won the toss and sent them in, a decision that looked less clever once Freddie Young settled into a well-made fifty, 54, ably supported by Blease's unbeaten 42 and Seb Horner's 35. They closed on 186/8 from 45 overs, though we clawed back some pride — J Johnstone and L Knight both walked for ducks, and Thomas Beeney was magnificent, 3-19, backed by Ian Lowe's tidy 2-12, complete with two maidens, and my own modest 1-21.

Chasing 187, we made hard work of easy sums, as is tradition at this club. Darrell Houghton-Judge played the innings of the day, unbeaten on 76, with Thomas Roxburgh (31) and Sam King (25) chipping in handsomely. Not every afternoon went to plan — Will Thew and Harvey Lowe both trudged off for ducks, fresh entries in the club's less glorious ledger. But we got there, 188/8 with two overs in hand, for a fine win.

A result worth banking, and with Aaron Hughes third in the season's run charts and Thomas Beeney topping the wicket pile on 21, the form is with us. A good day for the club.

Sat 31 Aug 2024 🧢 3rd XIv Sherwood CC, Kent · AwayformDDDLD

Here's the match report:

A pleasant, damp Saturday saw us head down to Sherwood CC, Kent, and having won the toss I had no hesitation in putting us in to bat — a decision I'm rather pleased to say vindicated itself. We were bowled out for 202 in 38.5 overs, a total built on Altus Diener's fine 45, with Theo Clements (35) and Brandon Eloff (32) chipping in handsomely. Less gloriously, both Henry Campbell and I contributed nought apiece to proceedings — I took the long, lonely walk back to the pavilion without troubling the scorers, and we shall say no more about it.

Defending 202, the lads were magnificent. Sherwood never got going, losing an early wicket with just 2 on the board, and from there it was carnage — 37-4 crumbled to 43-7 in the blink of an eye, and they were bowled out for a mere 56 in 29.2 overs. Praveen Tunga did the real damage with a superb 3-12, well supported by Ian Hollingworth's 3-16 and Henry Campbell's 2-2, while Tim Thirkell bowled with typical miserliness, sending down six maidens. Theo did have a slightly trickier time of it behind the stumps, with eight byes escaping his gloves — but nobody was complaining given the result. Worth noting too: Thirkell's efforts nudged him past Ian Brattle into 8th on the club's all-time wicket-taking list.

A thumping 146-run victory, then, and two points thoroughly banked. My golden duck aside, this was as complete a team performance as you could wish for.

Sat 31 Aug 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Southfleet CC · AwayformDDDDD

From the captain's chair — Saturday 31 August 2024. We travelled to Southfleet CC under a pleasant, drizzly sky, and if you're looking for the moment it all began to unravel, look no further than the toss: called wrong again, and Southfleet had no hesitation in sticking us in.

It did not start well. The first wicket fell for just 1, and while Richard Piper played the anchor role beautifully for his 27, the middle order rather lost the plot, subsiding from a respectable 62-4 to a distinctly wobbly 78-7 in the time it takes to put the kettle on. Jordan Austin and Martin Harris both made the long walk back for ducks, and the Duck Club secretary was sharpening his pencil. All out for 101 in 33.4 overs was, frankly, a modest total to defend.

Modest, but as it turned out, quite enough. Southfleet's top order fared little better than ours — 8-1 early, then a startling collapse from 28-2 to 30-5 as Simran Mahon, Tom Osborne and William Hawkins all departed without troubling the scorers. Matthew Carter was magnificent, 3-7, ably supported by the miserly Mardey Castle (3-19, four maidens!) and Alex Wade (2-26). Josh Harrington's 26 was their best resistance, but 85 all out left them 16 short.

A word too for Darrell Houghton-Judge, who brought up 3,000 career runs for the club — a proper landmark on a day of low scores all round.

Ugly, low-scoring, thoroughly English — and a win is a win. Onwards.

Sat 31 Aug 2024 🧢 1st XIv Tonbridge CC · HomeformDDDDD

A pleasant, grey Saturday brought Tonbridge CC to Linton Park, and having won the toss I sent them in — a decision that looked shrewd for about three overs and merely defensible thereafter. Liam Wolters played the innings of the day, an unbeaten 91, while Julius Marshall's 61 gave the total real substance and Khurram Shehzad chipped in an unbeaten 25 to see them to 225/6 from their 45. Credit where due, though: Thomas Beeney was magnificent with the ball, 4-37, backed up nicely by Toby Hughes's 1-46, and between them our attack accounted for three ducks — Nadeem Shehzad, Stephen Willcox and Sai Polukonda all departed without troubling the scorers.

Chasing 226, we made a decent fist of it without quite getting there, bowled out for 194 in 43.5 overs. I'll allow myself one mention of my own contribution — 76 felt like the sort of innings you dream about on the walk out and rarely deliver, so I was rather pleased to see it through. Henry Bourdillon's 24 and Harrison Fermor's 20 gave good support, though poor George Taylor's golden duck will live long in his memory, if nowhere else. The extras column, ever reliable, weighed in with 26.

One note of real cheer amid the run-chase toil: Harrison Fermor brought up 1,000 career runs for the club, a landmark worth far more than any afternoon's scoreline.

In the end honours were shared, a draw when neither side could quite force the door open — and on a grey afternoon like this, I'll happily call that a fair result.

Sun 25 Aug 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv YC Yalding CC · HomeformLLLWL

I make this a captain, they said. Here's the report.

The forecast promised drizzle and delivered on it, blustery too, but nothing was going to dampen spirits once Brandon Eloff got hold of his bat. Losing the toss and being asked to field first is never how you'd script it, but it turned out Yalding had rather done us a favour, because Brandon proceeded to play the innings of the season – 147 not out, an absolute monster of a hundred that dragged us to 252/9 from our forty overs almost single-handedly. Altus Diener chipped in a tidy 24, extras were good enough for 31 to their name (they'd have made a handy number six), while poor Anthony Karassellos and Ian Hollingworth will want to forget their contributions with the bat entirely.

Two hundred and fifty-two is a total that asks serious questions of an opposition, and Yalding simply didn't have the answers. Alexander Nunn was magnificent, ripping through them with 5-15 – a five-for thoroughly deserved and the standout spell of the day. I managed to get among the wickets myself with 2-19, with Ian Hollingworth making amends for his batting with 2-20, as Matthew Fairway, Joe Temperton and Billy Marsden all departed without scoring. Only Matthew Massett, with 26, offered any real resistance as they folded for 98 in 22.3 overs. I'll confess a personal milestone slipped by amid it all – a hundred career wickets – which felt rather nice to tick off on a soggy Sunday.

A 154-run win, two points banked, and honestly, what more could a captain ask for.

Sun 25 Aug 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Newenden CC · AwayformLWLLW

Called it right at Newenden and stuck us in without a second thought — a decision that looked rather clever for about an hour, rather less so by teatime. Their openers put on 66 before we prised one out, and from there Finnian Piper made hay with a well-constructed fifty, backed up by Dan Edwards (38) and Mike Bellhouse (34), the innings closing on a healthy 213/7 from its forty overs. Credit where due: Martin Harris bowled beautifully for 3-42, with William Roxburgh (1-2) tidy in support and Alex Wade chipping in with 1-27.

Chasing 214, we lost our first wicket for just 6 and things looked grim, but Benjamin Austin played an innings of real substance — 85 not out, carrying the order almost single-handedly — with Mardey Castle (37) and Jordan Austin (21) offering the sturdiest support. An eighth-wicket stand of 83 dragged us back into contention when all seemed lost, though ducks for Thomas Roxburgh and Alex Wade were a reminder that not every name on the card can be a hero. We finished 187/9, beaten by 26 runs.

Small consolations amid the defeat: Harris's three wickets nudge him past Alan Wilkes into 7th on the club's all-time list, while Austin (340 runs) and Thomas Beeney (18 wickets) continue to lead the season's charts. A battling effort, undone by that early flurry with the ball — we'll be better for it next week.

Wed 21 Aug 2024 🧢 Midweek XIv Tunbridge Wells Wednesday CC · HomeformWWLLL

Bit chilly and overcast for August, but on it went — the toss went against us and Tunbridge Wells Wednesday put us in, which suited nobody but them, as it turned out. Thomas Roxburgh and the top order set about proving them wrong from the very first over, the openers putting on 68 before the first wicket went, and from there we barely looked back. Roxburgh compiled a fine unbeaten 62, Luke Welsman purred to 51 not out, and Jordan Austin's 44 — a knock that also nudged him past Basil Sears into 18th on the club's all-time run charts, no less — anchored a rollicking fourth-wicket stand of 83. We closed on 210/4 from 28.2 overs, which felt like a very tidy afternoon's work indeed.

Then Luke Welsman decided batting wasn't enough fun for one day. Tunbridge Wells began confidently — Wright's 58 and Dawson's 49 built a first-wicket stand of 110 that had us wondering whether we'd left the door open — but once Welsman got the ball rolling, 110-1 became 122-4 in a blink, and the innings simply came apart at the seams. Kennell-Kemmy, H Howard and Peter Howard all trooped back without scoring, John Karassellos and Thomas Beeney chipped in dutifully, and Welsman finished with a barely believable 6-8 from five maidens. They were bowled out for 131.

A 79-run win, then, and a thoroughly good day for the club — the sort where the tea urn tastes that bit sweeter and nobody argues about who's scoring next week.

Sun 18 Aug 2024 🧢 Friendly XIv GC Great Chart CC · AwayformWWLWW

As we win a toss more often than we lose the ball into the pond, it should surprise no one that the coin let us down again at Great Chart, and we were sent in to bat under warm, overcast skies. Richard Piper had other ideas about how the afternoon should go, playing a proper captain's knock of 71, and finding a willing ally in Tom Campbell (44) as the pair put on 78 for the second wicket — the sort of partnership that turns a nervy total into a confident one. Thomas Roxburgh chipped in with an unbeaten 32 to help us to a handsome 198 for 5 from our forty overs, which felt like runs enough to be getting on with.

So it proved. Vivin Mathew batted beautifully for his 85 and looked, for a while, like he might drag Great Chart back into it single-handedly, but he had precious little company — an early wicket at 4 for 1 set the tone, and only a 54-run stand for the third wicket offered any real resistance. Once we got among them it was carnage: 121 for 6 became 128 for 9 in the blink of an eye, with Euan Stoddart and Andrew Cowley both back in the pavilion without troubling the scorers. Thomas Roxburgh, not content with his runs, ran through the tail with 3 for 6, well backed by Anthony Karassellos (2-5), Thomas Beeney (2-11) and the metronomic Ian Lowe. Aaron Hughes will want a quiet word with himself about those ten byes, mind.

All out for 134, and a fine win by 64 runs. A proper team performance, and one to enjoy on the drive home. Onwards.

Sun 18 Aug 2024 🧢 Friendly XIv Offham CC · HomeformLWWLW

Sunday 18 August, and Offham arrived to find us hosting under skies that couldn't decide whether to commit to sunshine or sulk. I lost the toss again — my record with the coin remains a source of considerable amusement to the tea ladies — and we were asked to bowl first, which on a warm, if cloudy, afternoon felt rather like being sent to fetch water at your own party.

Offham made themselves at home. Rory Puxley batted with the unhurried menace of a man who knows exactly how good he is, cruising to 90, while Neil Willis chipped in a fine 58 and James Godfrey finished unbeaten on 29 to see them to 224/4 from their forty. I managed to have some say in matters with the ball, taking 2-33, with Johan Eloff (1-21) and Zach Wilde (1-30) doing their bit to keep the total honest rather than alarming.

Chasing 225, we might have wobbled but instead we walked it home the hard way. Luke Welsman was magnificent for 56, Benjamin Austin — our leading run-scorer this season with 125 — added a composed 32, and Daniel Baker weighed in with 30, as we crept to 228/8 with two wickets and, one suspects, several fingernails to spare.

Two points, thoroughly earned, and a two-wicket win to nod off to sleep on. Not pretty, but pretty is overrated in club cricket.

Sat 17 Aug 2024 🧢 3rd XIv HC Hunton Wanderers CC · AwayformDDDDL

From the captain's chair, Saturday 17 August 2024: we made the trip to Hunton Wanderers CC under a warm, overcast sky that promised more than it delivered in the way of drama, at least until the closing overs. The toss went against us and they had no hesitation in sending us in — a decision that looked shrewd for about as long as it takes to make a cup of tea.

We posted 175 for 9 from our forty overs, a total built largely on Martin Rivers' 41 and Altus Diener's watchful 31, with extras chipping in a thoroughly useful 32 — practically an opening partnership in themselves. Less happily, Henry Campbell's afternoon with the bat began and ended in the same instant, a duck to file away and, no doubt, revisit at his leisure over a pint.

In reply, Hunton Wanderers fought hard and got to 148 for 8, Elliot Robertson playing a genuinely fine hand of 55 and Dave Niblett offering solid support with 32. But the ball was doing the talking for us: Praveen Tunga bowled beautifully for 3 for 19, Altus Diener was miserliness personified with 2 for 18 and four maidens, and Brandon Eloff picked up 1 for 16 for good measure. Dibendraraj Ashokan departed without troubling the scorers, fittingly enough.

Two points, and thoroughly earned — a 27-run victory to send us home content. With Brandon Eloff still leading the 3rd XI run charts and Henry Campbell (duck notwithstanding) still top of the wicket pile, the season carries on in fine and faintly ridiculous fashion.

Sat 17 Aug 2024 🧢 2nd XIv HC Hunton Wanderers CC · HomeformDDDDD

Skipper's got the pen out again — with quiet pride, then, this one's for the gazette.

Saturday 17 August brought Hunton Wanderers to Linton Park under warm, cloudy skies, and having called correctly I had no hesitation in putting us in — a decision that, for once, didn't come back to haunt me. The lads set about building a proper total, Richard Piper leading the way with 41, Nick Tromp unbeaten on the same score, and I chipped in with 32 of my own. Between us we posted 198/7 from the 40 overs, which felt like a total with enough about it to make Hunton work for their tea.

And work they did, though not quite hard enough. Mike Bassam played the innings of the day with an unbeaten 46, well supported by Jack Mottram's 23, but the visitors could only muster 158/6 in reply. Alex Wade was the pick of the attack with 3-26, while Martin Harris bowled two miserly maidens on his way to 1-30, and I picked up 1-23 for good measure. Forty runs the right side of the ledger by the close.

Off the field there was even more to celebrate: Alex Wade brought up his 100th appearance in Linton colours, a genuine club milestone, while Glen Rawson's 15 runs eased him past Mike Elworthy into 13th on the all-time run charts. Add in Richard Piper still out in front of the 2nd XI run charts and Matthew Carter leading the wickets, and this was, in every sense, a very good day for the club.

Sat 17 Aug 2024 🧢 1st XIv AC Ash CC · AwayformDDDDD

Saturday 17 August found us on the road to Ash CC, under a warm, damp sky that couldn't quite decide what sort of afternoon it wanted to be. I won the toss and, with more confidence than the forecast deserved, put us in.

For once, that confidence was rewarded. George Taylor batted beautifully for his 53, well past his fifty, and found an able partner in Max Butler, who finished unbeaten on 39. I chipped in with 30 myself, and the stand George and I built added a crucial 57 for the third wicket — the platform on which the whole innings stood. Toby Hughes, meanwhwhile, gave his golden nothing to the cause, out for a duck, but 220/8 from our 45 overs was a total we were more than happy to defend.

And defend it we did. Ash never recovered from an early stumble at 4-1, and when 94-6 became 100-9 in a hurry, the innings simply came apart at the seams. Jordan Lynn's 23 was about the only order restored. Toby Hughes led the charge with a superb 4-22, three of those overs maidens, ably backed up by Thomas Beeney's 3-18 and Max Butler's 2-14 — busy day for Max all round. All out for 117 in 33.2 overs.

A win by 103 runs, then, and a very pleasant one at that. I now lead the season's run charts with 513, while Toby Hughes tops the wickets with 24 — quite the double act, ducks notwithstanding. Onwards.

Fri 16 Aug 2024 🧢 Midweek XIv The Dragons CC · HomeformLWWLL

A warm, overcast Friday at Linton Park, and The Dragons CC came calling in confident mood. Winning what passed for the toss of decisions, I put us into the field first, and for long periods it looked the shrewder call turned sour — James Churchman played an innings from the top drawer, a proper hundred, 108 no less, and found willing company in Jack Killen's unbeaten 48 and Harry Green's brisk 33. Between them they hauled the visitors to 205/4 from their thirty overs, a total that had our bowling figures looking distinctly ordinary by the close, save for Johan Eloff, whose 2-9 was the one shaft of light in an otherwise expensive afternoon, with Henry Campbell (1-27) and Luke Welsman (1-30) chipping away gamely.

Chasing 206 was always going to ask serious questions of our top order, and truth be told we never quite found the answers. I got us moving with 34, Nick Tromp battled to an unbeaten 33, and Martin Rivers added a tidy 22, but wickets fell at the other end with the sort of regularity that has committee members reaching for the tea urn in despair — Johan Eloff and Nolan Wilde both departed for golden ducks, and 155/8 from our thirty overs was always going to fall well short.

A fifty-run defeat, then, and no amount of gazette prose will dress it up as anything else. Churchman's century deserved the headlines, and we simply couldn't live with it. Credit where due, lessons taken on the chin, and back to the nets we go.

Tue 13 Aug 2024 🧢 Midweek XIv The Mote CC · AwayformWLWWL

I won the toss – or rather, I didn't, because there wasn't one to win. The Mote skipper called correctly, saw an overcast, likely-to-flatten-out afternoon, and took first knock without a moment's hesitation. Can't say I blame him.

What followed was a lesson in application from their middle order. Milo Price made an imperious century, unbeaten at the close, with William Hodgson chipping in a fine fifty and Matthew White adding an unbeaten 49 for good measure – 274 for 5 from their forty overs took some absorbing. I did manage to drag things back a touch with 3 for 48, and Anthony Karassellos and Nolan Wilde chipped in a wicket apiece, but by then the total had rather run away from us. Rod Harcourt did at least give the ducks something to quack about, departing without scoring.

Chasing 275 was always a tall order, and so it proved. Jordan Austin and Toby Joseph both made tidy 25s, and I added 23 of my own, but 144 all out in 30.3 overs told its own story – with Aaron Hughes and Nolan Wilde joining the walk of shame for nought. There was a silver lining of sorts: Jordan's runs edged him past John Ames into 20th on the club's all-time list, Anthony sits second in this year's run charts, and I find myself topping the season's wicket table with nine.

Beaten by 130 in the end – no disgrace, just not our day. We'll regroup, lick our wounds, and come back stronger next week.

Sun 11 Aug 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Kings Hill CC · HomeformWLWLL

Sunday 11 August, and Kings Hill CC rolled up on a scorching, clear afternoon that felt like it had been ordered specially. Put in the field, we watched Ian McLean play a fine hand of 58, with Jack Doyle (46) and Jack Bray (40) chipping in nicely to push the visitors to a decent-looking 208/8 from their 40 overs. Credit where it's due to Thomas Roxburgh, who ripped through their order with 4-23, backed up by William Roxburgh's 3-26 and a wicket for Thomas Beeney too — and somewhere in the middle of all that, poor Ibrahim Bilal trudged off for a golden duck. All told, a target that looked chaseable but not a formality, not on a day this hot.

As it turned out, we needn't have worried. William Roxburgh played the innings of the summer, an imperious 121 not out, while Aaron Hughes kept him company with a composed unbeaten 67. Between them they simply batted the opposition out of the game, and we cruised home to 210/0 without so much as losing a wicket — 35 overs of the calmest cricket you could wish to watch from the boundary rope. I managed to contribute a little myself with the ball earlier on, which was satisfying enough, though the real story was written by the Roxburgh brothers between bat and ball.

William now leads our Sunday run charts with 264 for the season, and Thomas Beeney tops the wicket pile with 17 — the future of this club looks to be spelled R-O-X-B-U-R-G-H. A thumping win, a proper scorcher, and a very good day indeed for Linton Park.

Sat 10 Aug 2024 🧢 4th XIv AC Ash Village CC · AwayformWL

As we were away at Ash Village CC on a warm, cloudy Saturday, I won the toss and had no hesitation in choosing to bat — a decision I stand by, whatever the scorecard might suggest about my judgement elsewhere. Neill Pennefather played the innings of the day, a fine, well-made fifty of 56, with Farhan Malik chipping in a handy 26 alongside him. For a while it looked ropey — 23-1 crumbling to 33-4 in the blink of an eye — but the eighth-wicket pair dug us out with a crucial stand of 63, and we were mightily grateful for it, eventually being bowled out for 144 in 34.2 overs. I managed 18 myself, more workmanlike than watchable.

With the ball, we made a real fist of it. Josh Gurney was superb, leading the attack with 3-23, backed up nicely by Farhan Malik's 2-17 and Henry Campbell's 1-11, the latter also bowling two miserly maidens for good measure. We had them rocking too, 47-2 collapsing to 65-5 before you could blink — but James Joslin's 36, with Carl Graham unbeaten on 27 and Cliff Mendes adding 23, and a stubborn 55-run seventh-wicket stand, saw Ash Village home by 3 wickets.

A tale of two collapses, really — theirs nearly as alarming as ours, but they had just enough in the tank to see it through. Neill's fifty keeps him third in the 4th XI run charts, and Josh's three-for lifts him to second among the wicket-takers, so there's plenty to be cheerful about even in defeat. We'll be better for it next week.

Sat 10 Aug 2024 🧢 3rd XIv Chelsfield CC · HomeformDDDDD

It was a warm, overcast afternoon at Linton Park as we welcomed Chelsfield CC, and looking back on it I'd say the pitch report and the scoreboard were telling rather different stories by the close.

We won the toss, or at least someone did the batting, and 139 all out from 39.5 overs was a touch light for a summer's day. Praveen Tunga led the way with a fine 44, Sam King chipped in an unbeaten 23, and the extras column, generous to a fault at 25, very nearly out-batted our top order. Less said the better about Noah Stevens, Nick Tromp and Thomas Mundell, who between them conjured a trio of golden ducks — the sort of collapse that has a captain suddenly very interested in the tea urn.

With the ball, though, we scrapped hard. Nick Tromp was the pick of the attack, 2 for 6 with a couple of maidens thrown in for good measure, and I was pleased to get among the wickets myself as Sam King and Reuben Mundell backed him up with two apiece. We even had Rezaur Rahman back in the pavilion without troubling the scorers. But Bala Mohan's unbeaten 43, well supported by Rao fahad farooq's 20, saw Chelsfield home at 140 for 8 with two overs to spare.

A defeat, then, but not a disgraceful one — we made them work for every run, and there's plenty to build on. Onwards to the next one.

Sat 10 Aug 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Holcombe & Blue Bell Hill CC · AwayformDDDDD

Sitting in the captain's chair on Saturday 10 August, we made the trip to Holcombe & Blue Bell Hill on a warm, overcast afternoon that promised runs but, as ever, delivered its fair share of drama. I lost the toss – I'm beginning to suspect the coin has it in for me – and we were asked to field first... which meant our afternoon began with bat in hand once the innings turned over, chasing runs on the board. Richard Piper set about the bowling in fine style for 41, with Luke Welsman (27) and Nolan Wilde (21) chipping in nicely, and 166/9 from our 40 overs looked a fair total until the middle order rather lost the plot – 77-3 became 86-6 before we'd caught breath. I contributed my customary golden duck to proceedings, as did Alfie Reeve, so between us we did our level best to give the game away.

With the ball, however, we were a different side altogether. Alex Wade was magnificent, tearing through them with 4-21 including two miserly maidens, well supported by Matthew Carter (2-24) and Anthony Karassellos (2-30). Deon Davis, Kevin Shipton and Nigel McDonald all departed without scoring, and only Andy Bunker's defiant 41 held things together as they were bowled out for 94 in 24.5 overs. I did make a duck myself with the bat, and the less said about that the better – though I'll happily dwell on Matthew Carter's landmark 3,000 career runs for the club, a lovely note on the day.

A 72-run victory, then, and a thoroughly good day for the club.

Sat 10 Aug 2024 🧢 1st XIv Bapchild CC · HomeformDDDDD

As captain, I elected to bat when we won the toss on a warm, cloudy Saturday against Bapchild CC — and for once my hunch didn't let me down. We ground our way to 182/8 from the full 45 overs, with yours truly finding some rare rhythm for 70, ably backed up by Mark Christmas's 34 and Benjamin Austin's 31. Less gloriously, George Taylor, Toby Hughes and Fred Taylor all took the long, lonely walk back for ducks — the Duck Club ledger swells again, gentlemen, and the drinks are on you.

With 182 on the board we turned to defending it, and the bowlers made light work of the job. Bapchild were bundled out for 123 in 42.5 overs, Tyler Wassell's 36 the only real resistance, with Robert Kennett (24) and Tom Carey (21) chipping in around him. Matt Lewis and Harry Mantle both departed without troubling the scorers, which felt only fair after our own morning's ducks. Mark Christmas was superb with the ball, 3-21, well supported by Joshua Knowler (2-14) and Toby Hughes (2-25), while Alex Keeler bowled beautifully tight for five maidens — not a run given away lightly.

There was extra reason to raise a glass: I brought up 7,000 career runs for the club, and passing 70 today nudged me above Stuart Cheesman into 24th on the all-time run-scorers list, while Toby Hughes reached the milestone of 100 career wickets. Two personal landmarks in one afternoon doesn't happen often.

We came home 59 runs to the good. A thoroughly good day for the club.

Thu 08 Aug 2024 🧢 Tour XIv PC Pudsey Congs CC · AwayformLWWLW

Skipper's Log, Thursday 08 August 2024. Down to Pudsey Congs we went, spirits high, kit bags heavier than our top order's confidence, and the coin duly betrayed us at the toss. They elected to bat, which on paper sounds ominous but in practice just meant more time for me to fret at mid-off.

They rattled along to 132/5 from their 20, largely thanks to the two Stolarskis doing what family businesses do best — Zak unbeaten on 53, Joe chipping in with a handy 24. But we had answers of our own: Darrell Houghton-Judge tore through with 2-3, Alex Keeler picked up a tidy 2-20, and John Karassellos grabbed one for just a solitary run. E Restrick and Benjamin Austin both walked back for ducks at our hands, poor souls.

Chasing 133, we wobbled our way to 134/6 in 18.1 overs — Will Thew's unbeaten 32 and Alex Keeler's unbeaten 30 doing the heavy lifting while the rest of us, myself included with a modest 18, did rather less. John Karassellos completed a grim afternoon with a duck of his own, and poor Benjamin Austin, having already bagged nought with the bat, then leaked 8 byes behind the stumps for good measure — not his finest day, bless him.

Still, four wickets to the good and a win's a win. A good day for the club, and Benjamin can console himself with second place in the season's run charts.

Wed 07 Aug 2024 🧢 Tour XIv YC Yorkshire Gentlemens CC · AwayformWLWWL

There are days when the toss feels like a gift, and Wednesday's trip to Yorkshire Gentlemens CC was one of them. Heads came down, I called correctly, and with only the faintest hesitation I put them in — a decision that, for once, I shan't be asked to explain away over a pint.

The lads made handsome use of it. Benjamin Austin played the innings of the day, 54 to his name, with George Taylor (47) and Fred Taylor (31) lending real substance either side of him. Not everything gleamed — Will Thew and Toby Joseph both departed for ducks, and I contributed nought myself, an innings best left undiscussed and swiftly forgotten. Even so, 197/9 from our 52.2 overs felt like a total with some teeth in it.

And so it proved. Yorkshire Gentlemens never got comfortable, subsiding to 106 all out in 40.5 overs, P Holland's 20 the only real resistance. I'll allow myself one boast: I picked up 2-8 with four maidens thrown in for good measure, with George Taylor (2-9) and Will Thew (2-13) doing the tidying up. Toby Joseph had a trickier afternoon behind the stumps, 16 byes finding their way through, but nobody was counting too closely by the end.

A 91-run victory, two points banked, and the season charts ticking along nicely with George Taylor top of the runs and myself leading the wickets. All told, a thoroughly satisfactory day out — even accounting for my duck.

Tue 06 Aug 2024 🧢 Tour XIv WC Woodhouse Grange CC · AwayformTWLWW

Beaten this time, but by heaven we made them work for it. Tuesday took us over to Woodhouse Grange on a warm, cloudy afternoon, and having been put to work with the ball first, we watched Ben Burdett purr to a fine 65 and Harry Jackson follow with an equally polished 64, Imal Liyanage chipping in 30 as the hosts posted a stiff 205/7 from their twenty. Fred Taylor did the heavy lifting for us, 2-43, with Anthony Karassellos and Matthew Carter each chiselling out a wicket apiece for 24 – honest toil on an unforgiving pitch.

Chasing 206 was always going to ask questions of the top order, and while Anthony Karassellos will want to forget his duck in a hurry, the rest of the lads dug in gamely. I found some form when it mattered and made 63 not out, which was pleasing, and I had good company from Matthew Carter's unbeaten 28 and Fred Taylor's 25 as we pushed to 180/9 – short of the target, but no disgrace against a total like that.

Amid the defeat, plenty to raise a glass to: Anthony Karassellos brought up 200 career wickets, a landmark that ought to have come with rather less duck-shaped humiliation attached, and Jordan Austin's six runs eased him past Kevin Presneill into 21st on the club's all-time run charts. I sit atop the Tour XI run pile this season with 83, while Mardey Castle leads the bowling with four.

Beaten this time. We go again.

Mon 05 Aug 2024 🧢 Tour XIv SC St Chad's Broomfield CC · AwayformWTWLW

I put us in first at St Chad's Broomfield, and for once the coin toss and the decision both looked like genius by tea. Luke Welsman set the tone with a fine 54, Anthony Karassellos chipped in with 49, and Thomas Roxburgh anchored things beautifully with an unbeaten 50 — his innings the calmest thing on the ground all afternoon. The 95-run stand for the seventh wicket was the making of our total, dragging us up to a handsome 290 all out from our 40 overs. Not everyone's name will make the highlights reel, mind — poor Martin Harris walked back for a golden duck, and I'm told the sympathy in the pavilion lasted almost as long as his innings.

Defending it was another matter entirely. St Chad's openers put on 123 without so much as a wobble, and Sharan Prakath's 74, backed up by Toby Smith's 58 and Tim Rogers' 55, kept our fielders honest right to the death. It was Alex Keeler who dragged us back into it with a superb 3-30, while Martin Harris made amends for his blob with the bat by turning miser with the ball — 1-21 and three maidens — and Nolan Wilde weighed in with 1-28. James Prowse departed for nought, and my own 30 with the bat felt almost incidental by comparison. Twelve byes conceded behind the stumps will get a stern word at training, but nobody's memory is that long after a 34-run win.

A proper club cricket occasion, then — runs, nerves, ducks and all — and honours very much ours. Onwards.

Sun 04 Aug 2024 🧢 Tour XIv HC Hundhill Hall CC · AwayformWWTWL

A warm, cloudy Sunday found us on the road at Hundhill Hall CC, and winning the toss I did what any captain fancying a long batting afternoon would do — stuck us in. It proved a shrewd call. We racked up 342/7 from our forty overs, built on twin unbeaten fifties from Toby Hughes and Tobey Castle, with Fred Taylor unbeaten on 48 alongside them. The 84-run eighth-wicket stand was the innings' backbone, and a defiant last-wicket flourish of 73 gave the total a distinctly indecent look. Only poor Nolan Wilde, undone for a duck, blotted an otherwise handsome scorecard — helped along by a generous 39 in extras.

Defending 342 is meant to be the easy bit, and so it proved. Hundhill Hall never got going, subsiding from 10-1 to 24-4 as Mardey Castle (3-10), Toby Joseph (3-26) and Fred Taylor (2-18) shared the spoils, with only Sam Malyan's well-made 74 offering any real resistance. They folded for 160 in 25.1 overs, though our 13 byes suggested Tobey Castle was having rather a testing afternoon behind the stumps. I chipped in with 28 of my own for good measure.

Off the field, warmer applause still: Toby Hughes brought up his 100th appearance in Linton colours, and Thomas Beeney reached 3,000 career runs for the club. A famous day, and a thoroughly earned two points — victory by 182 runs, and not a murmur of complaint from anyone on our side of the tea urn.

Sun 04 Aug 2024 🧢 Friendly XIv East Sutton CC · HomeformDLWWL

Sunday 4 August 2024 dawned warm and grey, and East Sutton CC arrived to find the coin falling our way — I had no hesitation in sticking us into the field, a decision I spent the next forty overs quietly hoping wasn't rash. They compiled 142/8, with Ross Poole the chief architect of that total, a composed 65 that gave the innings its spine, while George Welton and Mark Whitmill both chipped in with tidy 22s. Chris Cassley and Darren Thompson departed without so much as a nudge to the scoreboard — two ducks to file away. Our bowling, though, had real teeth: Ian Hollingworth was superb, 2-21 with two maidens thrown in for good measure, miserly to the last ball, and Zach Wilde (2-23) and Frank Harbord (1-6) kept the pressure on throughout.

With the target set, we replied in style: 144/3 in just 25.4 overs. An early wicket at 4 gave everyone palpitations, but Martin Rivers settled the nerves with a glorious unbeaten 62, well supported by Theo Clements' 35 and Henry Campbell's unbeaten 23 — the pair adding a match-defining 76 for the second wicket. Frank Harbord, so economical with the ball, endured a quieter afternoon with the bat, out for a duck.

Two points, seven wickets to spare, and a fine day's work all round — Rivers and Hollingworth both climbing the season's charts in the process. We'll take that.

Sat 03 Aug 2024 🧢 3rd XIv BK Belvedere CC, Kent · AwayformDDDDD

Down by 1 wicket at Belvedere, and every last one of those 11 byes came back to haunt us.

Won the toss, took first knock, and I'll confess I fancied a bigger total than the 121 all out we mustered in 33.5 overs. Theo Clements played the lone hand of substance with 36, Altus Diener chipping in with a tidy 23, but the middle order rather let the side down — Martin Rivers and Stuart Campbell both took the walk of shame for ducks, and 121 always felt a touch light on a good pitch.

Still, with the ball in hand we made a proper fight of it. Henry Campbell was magnificent, 3-30 and leading from the front as he does all season, with Altus Diener (2-16) and the metronomic Tim Thirkell (1-10, four maidens — barely a run given away) squeezing hard throughout. Joe Manser and Harry Sampson both departed for ducks under the pressure, and Belvedere were made to graft for every one of their runs, Bryan Mason's watchful 24 aside.

But cricket has a cruel sense of humour, and ours came with the gloves. Poor Glen Rawson endured a torrid afternoon behind the stumps, 11 byes slipping through — and when the margin at the death was a single wicket, you don't need me to do the arithmetic on where those extras might have counted.

Not our day, then. Heads up, chins out, and back to the nets — Brandon Eloff and Henry Campbell can carry the run and wicket charts for now, the rest of us have work to do.

Sat 03 Aug 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Gravesend CC · HomeformDDDDD

Gravesend rolled up on a warm, showery Saturday, and having lost the toss I was handed the field — no bad thing, as it turned out, though it did mean forty-odd overs standing about wondering if my jumper needed to come off or go back on. The visitors were shot out for 154 in 39 overs, Sahil Sharma (45) and Madhusudhan Mali (37) doing the early donkey work before the rest rather lost their nerve — poor Rahul Tihar back in the pavilion without troubling the scorers. Alex Wade was quite magnificent, five wickets for 23 runs with two maidens thrown in for good measure, a spell as tidy as his figures suggest. I managed to chip in with three wickets myself, and Luke Welsman picked up one, so it was very much a team effort with the ball.

Chasing 155, we made hard work of it in the way only Linton Park can. Henry Bourdillon's 46 and Richard Piper's 28 gave us the platform, but wickets kept tumbling — Luke Welsman and Martin Harris both departed for ducks — and we crawled home at 158/9 off 33 overs, winning by the barest of margins: one wicket.

A word too for Alex Wade, who passed a hundred career wickets in style. Richard Piper leads our run charts this season with 347, and I'm rather proud to be topping the wickets column with 23.

Untidy, nerve-shredding, and thoroughly earned — I'll take two points and a grey hair or two any day of the week.

Sat 03 Aug 2024 🧢 1st XIv Ashford Town CC · AwayformDDDDD

Lost the toss again — I really must stop calling heads — and Ashford Town duly stuck us in on a warm, sticky afternoon that promised runs for somebody. As it turned out, that somebody was us. Our openers gave the innings the platform it needed, 60-1 before the first wicket fell, and from there Toby Hughes and I simply refused to give the bowlers a moment's peace, putting on 180 for the second wicket. I was thrilled to get among three figures with 114, while Toby fell agonisingly short of his own hundred on 99 — cruel game, cricket. George Taylor chipped in with a brisk 39, and only poor Jordan Austin, bagging a golden duck, will remember the day without much fondness. We closed on a formidable 305/6 from our 45 overs.

With the ball, Thomas Beeney set the tone with 3-38, well backed up by Alex Keeler's tidy 2-23 (two maidens, no less — the man barely broke a sweat) and Harrison Fermor's 2-33. Ajith Nair's 37 and useful contributions from Peter Shields and Craig Buckham kept Ashford interested, but two wickets in the 25th over broke their resistance for good, and they were all out for 185.

A comfortable 120-run win, then, and a very fine afternoon's work all round. Onwards indeed.

Wed 31 Jul 2024 🧢 Twenty20v Headcorn CC · AwayformWWLWW

Skipper's Log — Wednesday 31 July 2024, Headcorn CC, under a sky that couldn't decide between scorching us and soaking us. We lost the toss, were sent into the field, and I confess my heart sank slightly at the thought of chasing anything under those clouds.

Batting first, we huffed and puffed our way to 131/7 from the twenty overs — no procession, but enough. Jordan Austin was the mainstay with a fine 32, and Tobey Castle chipped in handsomely with 24 of his own, a knock that, we later discovered, nudged him past Will Thew into 25th on the club's all-time run-scorers list. Quietly historic stuff, delivered between showers.

Defending 131 is never a comfortable afternoon's work, and Headcorn's Lewis Mitchell made sure of that with a lively 41, well supported by Freddie Hulbert's unbeaten 27. But we scrapped hard — Kevin Baker and Harley Gilks both back in the hutch without troubling the scorers, ducks apiece, and Luke Welsman was magnificent with the ball, snaring 3-12 to choke the run rate when it mattered most. I managed to get among the wickets myself with 1-11, which at least keeps me atop the season's wicket charts, though I'll take the team win over the personal ledger any day.

Headcorn closed on 123/5, eight runs short, and we came away with the full two points. Scrappy, sweaty, occasionally soggy — but thoroughly, deservedly ours.

Sun 28 Jul 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv Penshurst Park CC · HomeformLLLLW

Down by 10 wickets — Penshurst Park at Home, Sunday 28 July 2024, versus Penshurst Park

Winning the toss on a warm, cloudy Sunday, I fancied our chances and stuck us in to bat — the right call, I still maintain, whatever the scorebook now suggests. Theo Clements played the innings of the day, a fine 47 that gave us something to work with, and I chipped in with 20 alongside him. Beyond that, though, it was a case of the middle order politely declining to trouble the scorers, and with Richard Piper and Zach Wilde both departing for ducks, we limped to 135 all out in 36.1 overs — the kind of total that has you doing sums about par scores and coming up short every time.

If we harboured hopes of defending it, Penshurst Park's openers put paid to those within the first few overs. Theo Rimmer and James Huddy simply helped themselves, cantering to fifties apiece — 70 not out and 61 not out respectively — and knocking off 136 without loss in a brisk 18.4 overs. Our bowlers searched gamely for inspiration that never arrived; it was, in truth, one-way traffic from very early on.

Elsewhere in the paperwork, Theo Clements can at least take some comfort sitting third in the Sunday 2nd XI run charts with 78 for the season. For the rest of us, there's little to do but dust ourselves down, book the nets, and remember that cricket has a wonderful habit of humbling you one week and redeeming you the next. This week, sadly, was very much the former.

Sun 28 Jul 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Stone-in-Oxney CC · AwayformWWLWL

We took the field on a warm, grey afternoon at Stone-in-Oxney, and having won the toss I elected to field — the right call, I felt, and for once I'll take the credit while it's going. Stone-in-Oxney posted 218/9 from their forty overs, built chiefly around Patrick Watsham's 67 and a fine fifty from Nick Maitland (54), with Ryan Knight's 38 adding further gloss to a 75-run second-wicket stand that gave their innings its spine. Luke Welsman was the pick of our attack with 3-33, well backed up by Ian Lowe (2-31) and Thomas Roxburgh (2-56), and credit to the lads for dragging things back after Scott Freeman and Tom Knight went for ducks with the ball in hand.

Chasing 219, we replied with 213/9, and it very nearly came off. Thomas Roxburgh's 69 was the innings of the day, ably supported by William Roxburgh's fifty (54) and Luke Welsman's 32, their fourth-wicket stand of 74 the platform on which our hopes briefly rested. Sadly the card was blotted elsewhere — Darrell Houghton-Judge, Harvey Lowe and I all fell without troubling the scorers, and as captain I can hardly complain about others' ducks when mine was a proper golden blob. Lead by example, they say; not today.

Five runs short in the end — heads up, and back to the nets. Benjamin Austin and Thomas Beeney continue to lead our run and wicket charts respectively, and there's no shame in a match this close. Onwards.

Sat 27 Jul 2024 🧢 3rd XIv Lordswood CC · HomeformWDDDD

Saturday 27 July 2024 brought Lordswood CC to Linton Park under warm, overcast skies, and I lost the toss — so it was pads on and out into the field we went, as tends to be our lot.

We made hay regardless, posting a handsome 189/8 from our 40 overs. Blair Mundell led the charge with a fine 48, matched stroke for stroke by Brandon Eloff's own 48, while Toby Joseph chipped in a useful 26 to round out the innings nicely. A total we were rather pleased to defend.

And defend it we did. Lordswood battled to 148/9 in reply, Tom Planck top-scoring with 41 and Jon Hills lending support with 25, but it was never quite enough. Henry Campbell was the chief tormentor with a superb 3-35, and I was happy to get among the wickets myself with 2-43. Kenny Liebenberg picked up one for good measure, while Altus Diener kept things admirably tight with two maidens — not a run given away lightly all afternoon.

A fine win by 41 runs, then, and a thoroughly satisfying afternoon's work. Brandon continues to lead our run charts this season with 359, and Henry sits proudly atop the wicket pile with 21 — the pair of them doing rather a lot of the heavy lifting, it must be said. Onwards we go.

Sat 27 Jul 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Holborough Anchorians CC · AwayformDDDDD

From the captain's chair — Saturday 27 July 2024, and the road took us to Holborough Anchorians CC on a warm, cloudy afternoon that promised much and, in the end, delivered a proper cricketing arm-wrestle.

The coin let us down again — I really must learn to call it differently one of these weeks — and the Anchorians sent us in. We shuffled our way to 140 all out from 36.3 overs, Luke Welsman leading the charge with a fine 30, while the rest of us contributed in that time-honoured village fashion of "some" runs rather than "many." Not a total to frighten anyone, but cricket has a habit of making fools of arithmetic.

So it proved. Anthony Karassellos set about the Anchorians' top order with four maidens and figures of 2-13 that bordered on miserly, Mardey Castle did the real damage with 3-38, and Alex Wade chipped in nicely with 3-46. Shanie Hussain departed for a duck without so much as a nibble at the scorebook, though Abdul Jabbar (33 not out) and Zobi Hussain (21) threatened to spoil our afternoon before the Anchorians folded for 132 in the 39th over.

Eight runs. That's the margin, and it felt like eighty by the time the last wicket fell. Richard Piper continues to purr along at the top of the 2nd XI run charts with 319, and Alex Wade's 13 wickets keep him handily placed in the bowling table. A scrappy, nervy, thoroughly deserved two points — the sort of win that tastes better precisely because it wasn't easy.

Sat 27 Jul 2024 🧢 1st XIv The Mote CC · HomeformDDDDD

Captain's Log, 27 July 2024. Home to The Mote CC, under skies the colour of a well-worn pavilion roof — warm enough for shirt sleeves, grey enough to keep everyone honest. I lost the toss, which these days feels less like bad luck and more like a season-long conspiracy, and we were put into the field.

The Mote made a challenging fist of it, closing on 176 all out from 43.5 overs, largely on the back of Jason White's obstinate 84 not out, with useful support from Abraham Thomas (26) and Harry Demarne (22). Small mercies: we did for Rhys Williams without so much as a squeak from the scorebook. With the ball I had one of those days where everything hit the right patch, finishing with 3-13, while Alex Keeler bowled with real discipline — three maidens on his way to 2-31 — and Fred Taylor chipped in with 2-34.

Chasing 177, we made hard work of a straightforward-looking target, losing our first wicket at 0-1 to remind everyone this wasn't going to be a stroll. Thomas Roxburgh's 43 was the innings' backbone, and a sturdy 66-run sixth-wicket stand — featuring my own 26 alongside Benjamin Austin's 26 — dragged us home. George Taylor, less happily, made his acquaintance with the Duck Club. Elsewhere, Alex Keeler quietly brought up 2,000 career runs for the club — a landmark rather lost in the scramble.

We got there by two wickets. Ugly, nervy, occasionally comic — but two points are two points, and I'll take it every time.

Wed 24 Jul 2024 🧢 Friendly XIv WX Wasps Friendly XI · HomeformWDLWW

A drizzly Wednesday it may have been, but nothing was going to keep us off the square, and so we welcomed our visitors with the covers rolled away and hope, as ever, springing eternal. Put into the field first, we watched them compile a brisk 158/5 from their twenty overs, Anthony Karassellos top-scoring with a tidy 24. Credit where due, Sam Boyns was superb with the ball, plucking out two for a miserly ten, while Alex Wade and Johan Eloff chipped in with a wicket apiece to keep the total from running away entirely. Mark Christmas, meanwhile, endured one of those afternoons behind the stumps that goalkeepers and wicketkeepers alike dread, twelve byes seeping through like the drizzle itself.

Chasing 159, we never quite found our rhythm, limping to 132/9 despite a genuinely lovely fifty from Brandon Eloff, whose 67 was the innings' one real bright spark. Less happily, Johan Eloff's day went from bowling to batting without much improvement, undone for a duck.

So it's 26 runs short and heads hung a little on the walk back to the pavilion. Brandon's knock at least sees him up to second in our Friendly XI run charts, with Sam third among the wicket-takers — small consolations on a day that got away from us. Not our finest hour, but character is built on afternoons like these. Back to the nets, lads.

Sun 21 Jul 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv Holborough Anchorians CC · AwayformLLLLL

A grey Sunday in the field, and I'll admit I like our chances more when we bowl first these days. Away at Holborough Anchorians, we shot them out for 93 in 38.4 overs, and it was as tidy an effort as we've managed all season. Alexander Nunn was the chief tormentor with 4-25, Tom Campbell chipped away for 3-21, and Sam Boyns was the picture of parsimony — 1-5 with five maidens, scarcely giving them a run to breathe. Abbas Raza and Bilal Akbarzai both trudged off for ducks, which tells you all you need to know about the mood in their dressing room.

Chasing 94, we made hard work of what should have been a formality — 95/9 from 39.4 overs is not the stuff of comfortable Sunday teas, and there were a few grey hairs sprouting on the boundary rope before we got there. Richard Piper's 23 was the innings that mattered, with Theo Clements' 20 lending it some much-needed backbone, and I contributed my own small share along the way, adding to what's now 209 runs for the season. Nunn, meanwhile, continues to lead our wicket charts with 13, and on this evidence he shows no sign of easing off.

Not pretty, not stylish, but a win is a win, and we'll take nine wickets down and a beating heart over a comfortable defeat any Sunday. A victory to savour, even if a few of us needed a stiff drink to do the savouring.

Sun 21 Jul 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Borstal CC · HomeformLWWLW

A cloudy Sunday, Borstal CC in town, and I won't pretend the scorebook makes cheerful reading. Having sent them in, we did the disciplined thing well enough — Ian Hollingworth was the pick of the attack with 3-33 and a couple of maidens thrown in for good measure, well backed by Alex Wade and Thomas Beeney, both finishing with two apiece. We had Dylan Solano Nathan and Jack Chester back in the pavilion without troubling the scorers, but Lewis Allan had other ideas, compiling a fine 61 with Mohammed Azhar's 23 lending sturdy support, and Borstal ground their way to 170 all out in 33.2 overs — rather more than we'd have liked to chase.

Chasing it, William Roxburgh played the innings of the day, a classy 67, with Thomas Roxburgh weighing in handsomely alongside him with 36. Between them they did most of the heavy lifting, but too many of the rest of us came and went without troubling the scorers ourselves — Benjamin Austin and Alex Wade both fell for ducks — and we were bowled out for 151 in 34.5 overs, nineteen runs short.

There were bright spots to cling to amid the gloom: Thomas Roxburgh brought up 2,000 career runs for the club, and Ian Hollingworth passed 300 career wickets — milestones worth raising a glass to, whatever the result. As for my own afternoon, I chipped in as best I could, but it wasn't enough to turn the tide. A defeat, then, but one with more silver lining than most — plenty to learn from, and plenty to celebrate too.

Sat 20 Jul 2024 🧢 3rd XIv Orpington Ocelots CC · AwayformDWDDD

John Karassellos here, filing this one with a heavy heart and a light scorebook.

We travelled to Orpington Ocelots on a warm, damp afternoon that promised runs and delivered rather fewer than we'd hoped. I lost the toss — no change there this season — and we were put into the field. It wasn't a bad shift: Vivek Shivhare's 41 was the only real resistance in their total of 128 all out, and we chipped away nicely throughout, with Prakash Rautaray and Gaurav Gaur both back in the shed without scoring. Nick Pennefather was superb, 4 for 21, backed up by Inus Joubert bowling with a miser's discipline for four maidens. I got among the wickets myself with 2 for 28, and Henry Campbell chipped in with 2 for 31 — between us we made sure nothing came easily.

Sadly the bat let us down rather badly. Only Altus Diener showed any real form, a classy 60 that was miles clear of everyone else, while Theo Clements and Brandon Eloff both fell for ducks and the rest of us shuffled apologetically back to the pavilion — myself very much included, out for nought, a performance we shall discreetly draw a veil over. Eleven byes from Johan Eloff behind the stumps rather summed up an afternoon where nothing quite stuck.

Altus continues to lead from the front in the run charts, and Henry tops the wicket-takers for the 3rd XI — small mercies in an otherwise chastening 19-run defeat. We'll regroup, we'll bat better, and we'll be back next week determined to make amends.

Sat 20 Jul 2024 🧢 2nd XIv FC Frindsbury CC · HomeformDDDDD

Saturday 20 July brought Frindsbury CC to Linton Park under skies that couldn't quite decide whether to rain on us properly or just sulk. Warm enough, drizzly enough — village cricket weather, in other words. I won the toss and stuck us in the field, a decision I'm claiming full credit for, whatever the scorebook says about the wisdom of it.

Frindsbury made themselves at home to the tune of 196/9 from their 40 overs, built chiefly around Simon Coomber's well-crafted 55, with Akhil Balagopal and Jacob Knight both chipping in with 24 apiece. Raymond Burt, mercifully for us, departed without troubling the scorers. Anthony Karassellos was the pick of our attack by some distance — 3-50 and two miserly maidens that must have felt like a personal insult to the Frindsbury middle order — with Max Butler (2-32) and Alex Wade (2-35) doing their bit to keep the total honest.

Chasing 197, Richard Piper played the innings of the day with a fine 54, and I was rather chuffed to keep him company, getting 54 not out myself as we eased home to 198/6 with an over to spare — a four-wicket win and two points banked. Henry Bourdillon's 38 down the order was no small part of that either, and fittingly he brought up 2,000 career runs for the club along the way, while my own innings nudged me past Tobey Castle into 25th on the all-time run charts. Richard continues to lead the 2nd XI run tally, Alex Wade sits second among the wicket-takers, and we trudged off, thoroughly damp and thoroughly satisfied.

Wed 17 Jul 2024 🧢 Midweek XIv LX Lord Cornwallis XI · HomeformWWLWW

A warm, cloudy afternoon at home to Lord Cornwallis XI, and I'm afraid this one won't trouble the highlights reel. We were bowled out for 95 in 27.2 overs, a card best described as sparse, with only Will Thew's watchful 20 giving it any shape. I contributed rather less than I'd have liked, marching back for a duck that I shall draw a discreet veil over.

Needing to defend a total that wouldn't frighten anyone, we at least gave a good account of ourselves in the field. Lord Cornwallis XI crept to 96 for 7 in 27.3 overs, N Burdge top-scoring with 36 as the game slipped from our grasp in ones and twos rather than a flurry. The shining light was John Karassellos, whose 4 for 19 kept us in it long after our batting had any right to expect it, with useful support from Darrell Houghton-Judge (1-11) and Anthony Karassellos (1-17). As for my own afternoon with the ball, the less said the better — a duck to match the one I collected earlier, and not the kind of symmetry I'd choose.

There was a silver lining amid the gloom: Will Thew's 20 eased him past Tobey Castle into 25th on the club's all-time run-scorers list, a nice bit of history on an otherwise forgettable day. Aaron Hughes continues to lead our Midweek XI run charts with 111, and Karassellos now sits third among the season's wicket-takers.

A defeat, in short, and a fair one — but there's enough here, in Thew's application and Karassellos's control, to build on next week.

Sun 14 Jul 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Boughton & Eastwell CC · AwayformLLWWL

Sunday the fourteenth of July found us on the road to Boughton & Eastwell, under skies that couldn't decide whether to rain on our parade or merely threaten to. I lost the toss — a habit I'm beginning to suspect is less bad luck than a personal talent — and we were asked to bat.

What followed was rather more encouraging than my coin-calling. Thomas Roxburgh played the innings of the day, 74 that carried us handsomely past his fifty, with Inus Joubert (26) and Ethan Joubert (24) lending sturdy support and a 95-run stand for the third wicket doing the real heavy lifting. We closed on 221 for 9 from our forty overs, a total that felt, even to my perennially anxious captain's eye, like enough to be getting on with.

And so it proved. Boughton stumbled early — 8 for 1 set a nervous tone that never quite left them, despite Daniel Newman's defiant 88 and a battling 78-run stand for the eighth wicket. Poor Reuben Peddle will not remember his afternoon fondly, back in the pavilion without so much as troubling the scorers. Brandon Eloff was the pick of our attack with 2 for 4, Ian Hollingworth bowled with real miserliness for 2 for 13 including two maidens, and I chipped in with 2 for 13 myself, which I shall mention only the once before modesty reasserts itself. They were all out for 170 in the 40th over.

Two points, a 51-run win, and a rather pleasant drive home. Thoroughly earned, and I'll take it.

Sun 14 Jul 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv Chelsfield Park CC · HomeformWLLLL

I could feel the weather doing us no favours before a ball was bowled – warm, cloudy, the sort of afternoon that promises nothing and delivers a good hiding. We put Chelsfield Park in, and they made themselves thoroughly at home, cruising to 234/4 from their 35 overs. Mahi Reddy anchored things beautifully with 52 not out, and had willing company from Bhrama Munjeti (38 not out) and Dinesh Muduli (37 not out) – the sort of unbroken partnerships that leave a captain checking his watch and his sanity in equal measure. I'll allow myself one line of pride: 2-23 was the pick of the bowling, with Frank Harbord (1-20) and Alexander Nunn (1-29) chipping away gamely against the tide.

Chasing 235 was always going to ask serious questions of us, and honest answers is what we gave. We limped home to 147/8 from our 35, well short of the target. I dug in for 70 not out, which kept the scoreboard ticking rather than galloping, with Daniel Baker's 22 the only other score of note. Spare a thought for James Gray, whose duck earns him a rather unwanted entry in the club's ledger – the walk of shame, immortalised as ever.

There were personal crumbs of comfort amid the wreckage – I go into the season proud to lead the 2nd XI run charts with 207, and Alexander Nunn sits third in the wicket standings with nine – but crumbs don't win matches. This was a defeat, plainly and simply, and one we'll take home, chew over, and try to learn from before we're out there again.

Sat 13 Jul 2024 🧢 3rd XIv New Ash Green CC · HomeformDDWDD

Saturday 13 July 2024, and New Ash Green CC rolled up the drive to Linton Park with the sun out and, rather less helpfully for us, the coin against me too. Down went the toss, up went their fielders, and off we trudged to bat first — never my favourite way to start a Saturday.

It did not go well. Wickets fell in that peculiarly English fashion whereby nothing much happens for an over and then everything happens at once: 3-1 became 15-4 before most of the tea urn had boiled, and poor Johan Eloff completed the full ceremonial walk of shame for a golden duck. Only Brandon Eloff, top-scoring with a battling 29, seemed to remember what the bat was for. We were bowled out for 75 in 26.2 overs — the sort of total you defend with prayer rather than plan.

Prayer, alas, was not enough. Harvey Lowe (1-15) and Henry Campbell (1-19) toiled manfully with the ball, but Luke Shaw batted us out of it with an unbeaten 34, ably assisted by Matthew Bushe's unbeaten 22, and New Ash Green cruised home at 76-2 in 22.3 overs, eight wickets in hand.

Not our day, then — not our week, if we're honest. Brandon Eloff continues to lead our 2024 run charts with 311, and Henry Campbell tops the wicket pile with 16, so the talent is plainly there. We simply need the other nine to turn up alongside them. Heads up, chins out, back to the nets.

Sat 13 Jul 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Sherwood CC, Kent · AwayformDDDDD

Saturday 13 July saw us head to Sherwood CC in a fine Kent drizzle, and having called correctly, I stuck us in the field – a decision I stood by with rather more confidence at the time than I felt by over thirty. James Kerr made us pay in full, easing past a well-crafted fifty, with James Courtney (42) and Rhys Richards (25) filling in the gaps around him. Bailey Elmore, mercifully, didn't trouble the scorers. Sherwood posted a testing 156/9 from their forty, but Alex Wade turned in a wonderful spell of 4-19 to keep us in the hunt, backed up by Matthew Carter's 3-38, a tidy 1-10 from Darrell Houghton-Judge, and two miserly maidens from Anthony Karassellos.

Chasing 157, we contrived to make life difficult for ourselves, losing an early wicket with just a single run on the board – the sort of nervy start that has spectators reaching for their flasks rather earlier than planned. Aaron Hughes departed for a duck, and for a while it felt like one of those afternoons. But Martin Harris anchored things beautifully for an unbeaten 36, Anthony Karassellos chipped in with 30 not out, and I was glad to contribute 29 of my own to the cause. It took a defiant last-wicket stand of 56 to finally see us home – proper nerve-shredding stuff.

We won by three wickets, two well-earned points, and Alex Wade brought up 1,000 career runs for the club into the bargain. A scrappy, unlikely, thoroughly satisfying win.

Sat 13 Jul 2024 🧢 1st XIv Sibton Park CC · HomeformDDDDD

Tobey Castle here, and what a day for it — drizzle in the air, Sibton Park on the outfield, and me making the call to bat first the moment I won the toss. Turned out to be the right shout, even if I do say so myself.

We batted with real purpose. Harrison Fermor was the class act, cruising to a well-made 64, while I chipped in with 44 and Jordan Austin added 40 alongside him — the two of us putting on 97 for the fourth wicket that gave the innings its backbone. From there we motored on to a handsome 231/5 from our 45 overs, the kind of total that ought to have put the game beyond a side's reach on a soggy afternoon.

And yet cricket, in its infinite mischief, had other ideas. Sibton Park simply refused to lose their footing, racing to 59/1 in a brisk 12.3 overs before the rain and the clock conspired to rob us of a finish. Ben Allon led their reply unbeaten on 29, well supported by Josh Woodward's unbeaten 20, while Alex Keeler was our best of a limited bunch with 1-34.

A quiet personal footnote amid it all — my 44 nudged me up past Will Thew into 25th on the club's all-time run-scorers list, which is either a mark of longevity or simply proof I've been getting out in the same fashion for years.

So, honours shared, neither side able to force the issue. A draw it is — not the crowning glory we'd batted for, but on a drizzly Saturday against a stubborn Sibton Park, no disgrace either.

Thu 11 Jul 2024 🧢 Twenty20v Kings Hill CC · HomeformLWWLW

A warm, drizzly Thursday saw Kings Hill CC visit, and I called correctly for once, electing to bat first without much hesitation — drizzle or no drizzle, 20 overs of batting first felt right. And how it paid off. George Taylor set about the Kings Hill bowling with real intent for 63, while I chipped in with 53 of my own alongside him, and Harrison Fermor's brisk 28 kept the scoreboard ticking nicely. Not every man's afternoon went to plan — poor Nick Tromp departed for a duck without so much as troubling the umpire — but 199/5 from our twenty overs was a total to be proud of, and a platform from which to bowl at our leisure.

Defending it, we never really looked troubled. Nic Trueb battled hard for 30 and Rhys Morgan finished unbeaten on 24, but wickets fell steadily around them, with Chris Harbour and Abhay Chimmalgi both sent back without scoring. Max Butler was superb, snaring 3-22, well backed by Thomas Roxburgh's 2-11 and Fred Taylor's 2-17 — and a word for Fred, who in the process reached the landmark of 50 career wickets, a thoroughly deserved milestone.

Kings Hill limped to 120/7, and we ran out winners by 79 runs. With George now leading our run charts and Fred topping the wickets column for the season, this was about as complete a team performance as a captain could wish for. A very good day for the club indeed.

Wed 10 Jul 2024 🧢 Midweek XIv Penshurst Park CC · AwayformLWWLW

Wednesday 10 July, and Penshurst Park it was — a pleasant, drizzly sort of afternoon, the kind that makes you wonder if you've packed the right jumper. The toss went against us, they had a bat, and off we trudged into the field with more hope than expectation.

Adam Ranson gave us a proper going-over, 64 to his name, with James Huddy chipping in a handy 37 as Penshurst set us 152 to chase from their 35 overs. Credit where it's due, though — Thomas Beeney was superb with the ball, 3-28, and I managed to find a bit of rhythm myself, finishing with 3-29. Christopher and Joe Rawlins departed for ducks at our end of things, which at least kept the scorebook interesting.

Chasing 152 is never the formality it sounds on paper, and so it proved, with Toby Joseph's 38 the backbone of the innings, well supported by Aaron Hughes (36) and Nolan Wilde (34). Callum Gannon will not thank me for mentioning his golden duck, but the Duck Club ledger waits for no man. We stumbled, wobbled, and eventually stumbled again over the line with four wickets to spare in 31.2 overs.

A quiet personal note: those three wickets nudged me past Ian Brattle into 7th on the club's all-time list, which is either a triumph or a sign I've been playing far too long. Either way — a good day for the club, and a wet one for the laundry.

Sun 07 Jul 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Mersham Le Hatch CC · AwayformLLLWW

Beaten but unbowed at Mersham Le Hatch on a Sunday of sunshine and passing showers, where the coin toss finally went my way — I called it right and stuck them in, though you might question that judgement given what followed. Maulik Makwana had other ideas, gliding to an imperious 148 not out, with Jeremy Godden a fine foil for 81; their third-wicket stand of 198 rather took the afternoon away from us. Thomas Roxburgh was pick of a weary attack with 1-33, Sam Boyns tidy as ever with 1-45 and two miserly maidens, and I chipped in with 1-49 of my own — enough, pleasingly, to nudge me past Tim Thirkell and into ninth on the club's all-time wicket-takers list, a small personal landmark amid the carnage. They closed on 267/3.

Chasing that lot, Oliver Patel batted beautifully for 89, with Thomas Beeney handsome support on 53, and their 123-run stand for the fifth wicket gave us genuine hope. Twenty-six extras helped the cause too, though eighteen of those were byes — a proper examination for poor Tobey Castle behind the stumps. We closed on 231/7, thirty-six runs shy in the end.

A losing day, then, but hardly a chastening one. Jordan Austin continues to purr along nicely in second on the season's run charts, and I'll take third in the wicket charts with quiet satisfaction. We'll dust ourselves down, take the lessons, and be better for it next week.

Sat 06 Jul 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Gore Court CC · AwayformDDDDD

Well, another Saturday, another glorious muddle in the middle order — but let's start at the beginning. We travelled to Gore Court under skies that couldn't decide between drizzle and gusts, which about summed up the conditions for stroke-play. Batting first, we ground our way to 183/8 from the full 40 overs, a total that owed everything to Jordan Austin's fine 48, with Alex Wade (23) and I (20) doing our best impressions of support acts. Not a score to frighten anyone, but enough, we felt, to have a say in proceedings.

And have a say we did. Gore Court were dismissed for 153 in 39.4 overs, Majid Sialvi (45) and Oliver Patel (43) threatening to bat us out of it before the bowlers reasserted themselves. Martin Harris was magnificent, tearing through with 4-35, with Matthew Carter (3-22) and Alex Wade (2-30) chipping away either side of him — and we had the small satisfaction of sending both Harry Slack and Ben Dutnall back without troubling the scorers.

Two footnotes worth framing for the clubhouse wall: Jordan's 48 eases him past Stan Wratten into 22nd on the all-time run charts, while Martin's four-for lifts him above Tim Thirkell into 9th among our wicket-takers. Elsewhere, Richard Piper and Matthew Carter continue to lead the 2nd XI's season charts with 243 runs and 17 wickets respectively.

In the end, honours shared — a draw, with neither side quite able to land the killer blow. Frustrating, perhaps, but on an afternoon like that, I'll happily take it.

Sat 06 Jul 2024 🧢 1st XIv Rainham (Kent) CC · HomeformDDDDD

Saturday 6 July, and Rainham (Kent) rolled up on a blustery, shower-flecked afternoon that seemed designed to keep everyone guessing whether to pack sunhats or sou'westers. I lost the toss — no great surprise this season — and we were asked to bat first, which on a day like that felt rather like being asked to go first into a cold swimming pool.

We managed 94 all out in 33.3 overs, a total that flattered to deceive rather less than it flattered at all. Toby Hughes played the innings of the day with a fighting 28, while at the other end poor Mark Christmas contributed what the scorebook charitably calls a golden duck — these things happen to the best of us, and he'd more than make amends with the ball later. My own 13 was scant reward for the eye, though it did nudge me past Will Thew into 25th on the club's all-time run-scoring list, a small personal landmark amid the general gloom.

In reply, Rainham eased to 96/3 in 20.2 overs, Michael Tyrer's 33 the backbone, with Tom Kelaart (24*) and Sam Ainsley (21*) seeing them home. Harrison Fermor toiled hardest, 2-23, with Mark Christmas making up for his duck with 1-20.

The one gilt-edged moment came from George Taylor, who brought up 1,000 career runs for the club — a proper mantelpiece achievement, whatever the result around it.

Seven wickets down, then, and not our day. Heads up, and back to the nets.

Wed 03 Jul 2024 🧢 Midweek XIv Warlingham CC · HomeformWLWWL

Under leaden Kentish skies with the odd shower rolling through, Warlingham CC were our visitors, and winning the toss I did the sensible, slightly smug thing and put them in. It looked the right call for a good while too. They battled to 165 all out in 40.1 overs, Denham Earl the chief nuisance with 40 and Esa Mohamad chipping in 23, but Thomas Beeney was in irresistible form, ripping through with 3-20, well backed by Thomas Roxburgh's 2-19 and Nolan Wilde's tidy 1-9.

Chasing 166, we made harder work of it than the target deserved, stumbling to 168/6 off our 31 overs. Aaron Hughes was the innings' backbone with a fine 47, Thomas Roxburgh saw us home unbeaten on 30 and Nolan Wilde weighed in with 28. Spare a thought, though, for poor Alex Wade, who contributed nothing but a duck and a long, lonely walk back to the pavilion — the Duck Club ledger duly updated.

Our own bowlers must have caught the shower-induced wildness too, gifting Warlingham 16 wides and 11 no-balls, generosity we can ill afford to make a habit of. Still, Aaron Hughes climbs to 2nd in the midweek run charts and Thomas Beeney now leads the wicket-takers — form worth savouring.

Four-wicket win, ragged edges and all. A good day for the club, and I'll happily take that.

Sun 30 Jun 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv FC Four Elms CC · AwayformLLLLW

Sunday, 30 June, and off we went to Four Elms on a damp, muggy sort of afternoon that felt more suited to ducks (of which more later) than cricket. Winning the toss, I had few doubts about batting first, and it proved a shrewd bit of skippering as we posted a handsome 204/8 from our forty. Jordan Austin was the class act of the innings, a chanceless-looking 72, while Alex Wade chipped in with 40 and the second-wicket stand of 78 gave the innings its spine. Darrell Houghton-Judge finished unbeaten on 22, and even the extras column got in on the act with a generous 31. Poor Dan Corpe, alas, departed for nought — the sort of duck that follows a man home and roosts in his garden for a week.

In the field we kept them honest throughout, restricting Four Elms to 156/9 despite Paul Gammage's determined 38 and John Harvey's 32. Farhan Malik was the pick of the attack with 3-43, while Thomas Beeney bowled with real discipline — 2-17 and four maidens, tight enough to squeeze the life out of any partnership — and Alex Wade weighed in with 1-14. Mason Panvert bagged a golden duck of his own at our hands, which felt only fair after Corpe's earlier misfortune. My own afternoon behind the stumps was rather less distinguished, eight byes going begging on my watch — a stern reminder that captaincy doesn't excuse you the basics.

Still, 48 runs to the good at the close, and a thoroughly satisfying day's work. We'll take that all season long.

Sun 30 Jun 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv NC New Ifield CC · HomeformLWLLL

As we're all out first for 99, we're beaten by 93 — and it will hurt every bit as much on the page as it did in the field. New Ifield came to Linton Park on a pleasant, drizzly afternoon, we lost the toss and were sent into the field, and George Cranham simply had our measure, ambling to 80 while William Cranham (34) and Krishna Ray (24) filled in the gaps around him. The visitors were 73 without loss before we made the first breakthrough, and a stubborn 78-run stand for the third wicket did the real damage, carrying them to a hearty 192 for 4 off their 35. Credit where due: Zach Wilde bowled beautifully for 2-33, Frank Harbord and James Gray chipped in with a wicket apiece, and Tim Thirkell squeezed the tap shut with two tidy maidens.

Chasing 193 was always going to ask questions of us, and we answered most of them wrong. Tim Thirkell battled to 23 not out and Richard Piper made a watchful 20, but around them the innings had all the structural integrity of a garden shed in a gale — Freddie Seymour, Josh Gurney and I all trooped off for ducks, and 99 all out told its own sorry story. I'll own my small part in that collapse and move swiftly on, as one does.

Elsewhere the season ticks along nicely enough — Richard Piper still tops the 2nd XI run charts on 171, and Zach Wilde leads the wicket-takers with 13 — proof that not everything is doom and drizzle. As for Sunday, we were thoroughly outplayed and thoroughly deserved our 93-run beating. Onwards, chins up, nets on Thursday.

Sat 29 Jun 2024 🧢 3rd XIv Sherwood CC, Kent · HomeformDDDWD

Saturday, 29 June 2024, and Sherwood CC of Kent rolled up the drive with the sun out and the covers long since folded away. I called correctly at the toss and, in a rare fit of decisiveness, chose to bat — a decision I shall now claim full credit for.

What followed was a proper feast. Brandon Eloff played the innings of the day, 77 of good, clean hitting, while Kenny Liebenberg (54 not out) and Nolan Wilde (46 not out) tidied up in support, the pair adding a crucial 70 for the fourth wicket as the middle order simply refused to be dislodged. We closed on 262/5 from our 40 overs, a total that had the tea urn practically humming with confidence before we'd even taken the field.

Defending it, the bowlers made short work of the reply. Nolan Wilde, not content with runs, took the ball and ran through the top order with 3-35, while Thomas Seymour (2-10) and the miserly Henry Campbell (2-22, two maidens) squeezed the life out of things at the other end. Bill Williams departed for a golden duck, which I'm reliably informed is always funnier for the fielding side. Patrick Hemingway (27) and Rick Homer (26) offered brief resistance, but Sherwood folded to 133/9.

A 129-run win, then, and a thoroughly satisfying afternoon's work. Onwards, indeed — and someone put the kettle back on.

Sat 29 Jun 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Southfleet CC · HomeformDDDDD

We lost the toss and were sent in to field on a warm, overcast Saturday, which — teacake in one hand, cap in the other — always feels like the crueller half of the coin-flip. Southfleet made themselves thoroughly at home, racing to 227 for 4 off their 40 overs. Joel Mulley-Goodbarne was immovable for an unbeaten 81, with Simran Mahon (40) and Josh Harrington (22) lending sturdy support, and their second-wicket pair put on a chastening 71. Alex Wade was our pick of the bowlers with 2 for 38, Martin Harris chipped in with 1 for 15 and Ian Lowe with 1 for 38, though a brutal 19 runs off the 29th over rather took the shine off our afternoon in the field.

Chasing 228, we never quite got out of second gear. Aaron Hughes led the reply with a gritty 35, Luke Welsman made a tidy 33, but wickets fell steadily around them and we were all out for 142 in 36.3 overs — Ian Lowe's golden duck the sorest note on the card. It wasn't our finest hour behind the stumps either, with Hughes generously donating 10 byes, and our line was a stranger to us, 16 wides and 9 no-balls gifted away.

One bright spark amid the wreckage: my own unassuming 3 runs nudged me past Tobey Castle into 25th on the club's all-time run-scorers list, which I shall be mentioning at the bar rather more than the scoreline warrants. Elsewhere Aaron Hughes continues to top our 2024 second-XI run charts and Ian Lowe sits third in the wickets column — silver linings, if you squint.

Beaten by 85 runs, then, and no dressing it up: not our day. Heads up, chins out, and back to the nets.

Sat 29 Jun 2024 🧢 1st XIv Tonbridge CC · AwayformDDDDD

Captain's Log, Linton Park CC — Saturday 29 June 2024, away at Tonbridge, under a warm, overcast sky that promised more than it delivered.

I lost the toss, we were asked to chase, and so found ourselves with first use of the ball — always a mixed blessing when you'd rather be shirtsleeves-down at three o'clock with the job half done. Tonbridge lost an early wicket at just 6 and looked briefly rattled, but Stephen Hall settled in for an unbeaten 61, and a sturdy 59-run stand for the sixth wicket, built with Liam Wolters (33) and later Khurram Shehzad (25), dragged them to a defendable 166 for 9. Credit where due: Toby Hughes was superb with the ball, 3 for 20, and Alex Keeler bowled with real discipline for 2 for 21 including four maidens — not a run given away lightly. George Taylor chipped in with 1 for 31. Poor Mark Burns departed for a golden duck.

Chasing 167, we never quite found our stride. A 59-run second-wicket stand gave us hope, and I was pleased to lead from the front with 54 not out, well supported by Benjamin Austin's 20 — though Anthony Karassellos will want this report burned before it reaches print after his own duck. Extras chipped in a generous 33, but 153 for 9 from our 45 overs left us 13 runs short.

Not our day, then — heads up, and back to the nets. Tonbridge deserved it; we'll have our answer next time.

Wed 26 Jun 2024 🧢 Midweek XIv Cudham Wyse CC · HomeformLWLWW

Cudham Wyse CC away, but they were the visitors to Linton Park on a scorching, cloudy Wednesday afternoon — the kind of English summer's day that can't quite make its mind up. I lost the toss, we were put in the field, and off we went.

We had first use of the ball, and for a while it looked promising, but Tahir Adil had other ideas, compiling a superb unbeaten 125 that took the game away from us. He found a willing ally in Jakria Ahmed, whose fine 63 helped forge a 120-run second-wicket stand that really did for us, with Junaid Mohammad chipping in a further 26. I did what I could with the ball, finishing with 2-48 for the best figures on the day, with Sam Boyns (1-29) and Anthony Karassellos (1-37) lending a hand. Cudham Wyse closed on a formidable 280/7.

Chasing 281 was always going to be a stretch, and though Anthony Karassellos played beautifully for 70, well supported by Will Thew's 46 and Sam Boyns' unbeaten 26, we never quite got the required rate within reach, finishing 195/7. Spare a thought for poor Toby Joseph, who walked the walk of shame with a duck — the ducks are quacking in the club ledger once more.

Not our day, then — beaten by 85 runs, heads up and back to the nets we go. Cudham Wyse were the better side from ball one; we'll regroup, learn our lessons, and live to fight another Wednesday.

Sun 23 Jun 2024 🧢 Sunday 3rd XIv TC The Covenant CC · HomeformW

Skipper's Log, Sunday 23 June 2024 — and rarely have I made a decision with less hesitation than winning that toss and reaching for the bat. The Covenant CC came to Linton Park and were duly put in the field, watching us compile 157/9 from our forty overs. Altus Diener led the way with 36, Brandon Eloff matched him run for run with 36 of his own, and Daniel Baker chipped in a tidy 21. Not a total to have the tea urn shaking, but enough, as it turned out, to be going on with.

With the ball we made early inroads — Halif Saddiquin departed for a duck with just 1 on the board, and the visitors never quite recovered their poise. Spencer Gray was magnificent, ripping through with 3-10, well backed up by Farhan Malik's 2-8 and Freddie Seymour's solitary but valuable strike. Vimal Nair stood rather defiantly against the tide, top-scoring with a fine 53 that included a shot of the day — a mid-on six that had us applauding through gritted teeth. His side were bowled out for 135 in 33.1 overs, though not before that painful 19th over cost us 16, and we handed back 22 in wides and no-balls we can ill afford to keep gifting.

Sloppy in places, then, but the bowling did the heavy lifting and we ran out winners by 22 runs. A good day for the club, and with Diener topping the run charts and Gray the wickets, the season's shape is looking rather promising. Verdict: untidy, occasionally nervy, but thoroughly deserved.

Sun 23 Jun 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv NC New Ifield CC · AwayformWLWLL

From the captain's chair — Sunday 23 June 2024. We were away at New Ifield CC, and it must be said, the omens looked reasonable enough on a warm, grey afternoon that felt like it couldn't decide what season it was.

Put into the field first, we did our jobs with a fair degree of credit. New Ifield rattled along to 170/8 from their forty overs, William Cranham the chief architect with an unbeaten 43, well supported by Triv Kumar's 28 and Hrishi Ranganathan's 25. But credit where due to our attack — Alexander Nunn was the pick of us with 3-43, Tom Campbell chipped in with 2-32 and Henry Campbell with 1-18, while Anthony Karassellos bowled two miserly maidens and George Cranham and Prem Dhaliwal both departed for ducks against our bowling. A tidy shift, all told.

Chasing 171, we simply never got going. All out for 118 in 33.3 overs tells its own story. Richard Piper batted beautifully for his 56, and I managed to hold up an end for 28, but beyond that the innings crumbled rather sadly, with Anthony Karassellos, Frank Harbord and Henry Campbell all making ducks of their own.

Beaten this time, then, fair and square — the bowlers did their bit, the batting let us down, and we go again next week wiser, if not much richer in runs.

Sun 23 Jun 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Mersham Sports CC · HomeformWLLLL

We had first use of the ball at home to Mersham Sports CC, and on a warm, overcast Sunday afternoon that felt like exactly the kind of toss to win — so naturally I called it correctly and stuck us in the field without a flicker of hesitation. Whether that was captaincy or cowardice, the lads made it look inspired: Mersham were shut out for 169 all out in their 40 overs, with only Shineyu Anand (45) and Christopher Darlington (31) offering any real resistance, while poor Samarth Tewari trudged off for a duck. Thomas Beeney was the chief tormentor with 3-26, Ian Hollingworth chipped in with 2-25, and Mardey Castle bowled two miserly maidens on his way to 1-19 — not a run given away lightly.

Chasing 170, we wobbled just enough to keep it interesting, slipping to 174/5 in 32.3 overs, with Toby Joseph departing for a blot-on-the-card duck. But one man made the afternoon his own: Benjamin Austin, serene and untroubled, carved out a magnificent unbeaten 104 to see us home, with Alex Wade (24 not out) keeping him steady company at the other end.

Up on the season table, Austin now leads our 2024 Sunday 1st XI run charts with 243, and Beeney tops the wicket pile with 11 — form players earning their stripes when it mattered most.

A fine win by 5 wickets, then, built on tight bowling and one captain's innings with the bat. Onwards.

Sat 22 Jun 2024 🧢 4th XIv OC OD CUACO · HomeformW

Saturday 22 June dawned warm and clammy, the kind of afternoon that promises rain and delivers midges instead, as OD CUACO rolled into Linton Park. I lost the toss — no great surprise, my coin-calling remains a work in progress — and we were sent in to field first, then chase.

We started well enough. Thomas Mundell was the pick of the attack, snaring 2-9 in an opening spell that had their top order hopping, with Ethan Joubert (2-20) and Lewis Joubert (2-30) chipping in nicely. But Chris Colby had other ideas, compiling a fine 55, and with Rohan Bridges (37) and Peter White (26) in support, OD CUACO eased their way to 195/8 from their 40 overs — a total that always looked a stretch too far for us.

And so it proved. Chasing 196, we subsided to 86 all out in 36.4 overs, undone as much by ourselves as by the bowlers — Jonathan Sisley and Johan Eloff both fell without troubling the scorers, ducks that rather summed up our afternoon. I did what I could — I currently sit second in the 4th XI's run charts this season with 64 to my name, for whatever comfort that offers — but there was no papering over a 109-run defeat.

A chastening one, this. We were beaten fair and square by the better side on the day, and there's precious little to dress it up as anything else. Still, cricket has a mercifully short memory, and so must we — onward to next week, wiser if not much wealthier in runs.

Sat 22 Jun 2024 🧢 3rd XIv OC Old Williamsonians CC · AwayformDDDDW

We travelled to Old Williamsonians on a warm, showery afternoon, and I lost the toss for what felt like the hundredth time this season — they had first use of a pitch that, in truth, never looked entirely comfortable to bat on. Ninety-two all out from our 31 overs told its own story: not disastrous, but not the sort of total that lets a captain sleep easy. Brandon Eloff top-scored with a tidy 27, well supported by Laurie Probert's 26 and Theo Clements's 21, while Glen Rawson, Martin Rivers and Toby Joseph all fell without troubling the scorers — and, for the record, so did I, a golden blob that rather undermined any notion of leading by example.

Eighty-one was always going to be tight to defend, but the lads made light work of it. William Hick, Naveed Bhatti and Paul Belsey departed without scoring, and Altus Diener produced the spell of the day — 5-16, a five-for as deserved as any I've seen from the boundary. I managed 3-17 myself, with Ben Stott chipping in with 1-9, and Brandon Eloff bowled two miserly maidens for good measure.

Eleven runs the right way, in the end, and not a bad way to atone for a blob. Brandon continues to lead our 2024 run charts on 205, with Altus now second in the wicket standings on ten. A fine team win, gladly not remembered for my batting. Onwards.

Sat 22 Jun 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Upchurch CC · HomeformDDDDD

Will Thew's XI at home to Upchurch CC, Saturday 22 June — a warm, sticky afternoon and a toss lost, which meant an afternoon in the field before anyone had loosened up.

Batting first was no hardship in the end, as we posted a handsome 256/4 from our 40 overs. Richard Piper set about it with real purpose for 72, Thomas Roxburgh kept him honest with a fluent 51, and I chipped in with an unbeaten 40 to help see the innings home. Jordan Austin's contribution was rather more modest — a golden duck, first ball gone, the sort of dismissal that earns more sympathy than scorn in the clubhouse. The extras column, meanwhile, quietly totted up 38, proof that Upchurch were as generous with the ball as we were ungenerous in return.

If 256 felt handsome, what followed was almost embarrassing for the visitors. Upchurch's top order simply evaporated — Rakesh Sasubilli, Aromal Surendran and Ashwini Kumar all back in the pavilion without so much as a run to their names. Matthew Carter was in irresistible form, spinning his way to 5-11 with two miserly maidens thrown in for good measure, and Harvey Lowe backed him up superbly with 5-21. Nineteen overs and two balls later, Upchurch were bowled out for 67.

A day of milestones too — Richard Piper's 900th appearance in Linton colours, my 40 nudging me up to 25th on the all-time run-scorers list, and Matthew Carter's five-for lifting him to 11th among our wicket-takers. Won by 189 runs: two points thoroughly, gloriously earned.

Sat 22 Jun 2024 🧢 1st XIv Upchurch CC · AwayformDDDDD

From the captain's chair — Saturday 22 June 2024, away at Upchurch.

Won the toss, elected to field, and for once I'll take the credit before the excuses start. Upchurch batted first and made it hard work, racking up 194/4 from their forty overs, the damage largely done by a rampaging second-wicket stand of 103. Darren Delport got in and stayed in, a polished 63, with Aaron Walker (40) and an unbeaten Daniel Parker (35) keeping the scoreboard turning. Credit where due, though: Mark Christmas bowled beautifully for 2-19, George Taylor and Toby Hughes chipped in a wicket apiece, and Alex Keeler kept things tight with two maidens when we badly needed the brakes applied.

Chasing 195, we never quite got the platform. An early wicket at 0-1 rather set the tone, and while Alex Keeler fought hard for a battling 43, and I did my modest bit with 16, too many came and went without troubling the scorer — Harrison Fermor and Luke Welsman both departed for ducks. We finished 159/9, thirty-five runs short.

A word of consolation amid the gloom: Mark Christmas's two wickets nudged him past Matthew Carter into 11th on the club's all-time list, while Toby Hughes continues his fine season, second in the run charts and top of the wicket pile.

Beaten, not disgraced. We'll dust ourselves down and come back stronger next week.

Fri 21 Jun 2024 🧢 Twenty20v HC Hadlow CC · AwayformWLWWL

A grand day out at Hadlow, and one I'll happily put my name to.

We won the toss and made ourselves at home, with Nick Tromp batting beautifully for an unbeaten 54 and Alex Wade motoring past his own fifty at the other end, unbeaten too — the sort of stand that lets a captain sit back with a cup of tea and pretend the whole thing was planned. Not every name will be etched in gold, mind: Nick Pennefather and Johan Eloff both fell without troubling the scorer, proper ducks the pair of them, but with extras chipping in a generous 30 and the total climbing to 183/8 from our twenty overs, nobody at Linton Park was complaining.

Defending that kind of total ought to be the easy part, and for once it very nearly was straightforward. Brandon Eloff steamed in for a superb 3-16 to rip the heart out of Hadlow's innings, with Altus Diener (2-23) and Nick Pennefather — making handsome amends with the ball after his golden duck — chipping in with 2-24 apiece. I managed to get my own hands on the contest too, and rather enjoyed doing so. Will Milne top-scored gamely with 29 for the home side, but 134/7 was always going to leave them short of our mark.

We got over the line comfortably in the end, and with Nick Tromp now 4th in the run charts and Nick Pennefather 3rd among the wicket-takers, the season ledger looks rather pleasing. A thoroughly good day for the club, and the drive home felt a good deal shorter for it.

Wed 19 Jun 2024 🧢 Twenty20v Rainham (Kent) CC · AwayformWWLWW

Skipper's Log — Wednesday 19 June, and off we trundled to Rainham (Kent) CC under a sky that couldn't quite decide whether to bother with the sun. Winning the toss, I had no hesitation in electing to bat, and for once the decision looked shrewd rather than reckless. Our openers set the tone beautifully, putting on 68 for the first wicket before either fell, and the innings never really lost its shape from there. I was fortunate enough to find some form myself, top-scoring with 57, and I was well backed up by Toby Hughes with a brisk 41 and Tobey Castle with 30. We closed on a healthy 161/6 from our 20 overs — the sort of total that usually has the tea urn feeling smug.

Sadly, Rainham had other ideas. Michael Tyrer played the innings of the afternoon, an unbeaten 83, with George Mottram chipping in a stylish 47, and between them they simply took the total away from us, Rainham cantering home on 163/1 with the best part of three overs unused. Tobey Castle was our pick of the bowlers with 1-34, and did at least have something else to smile about — his 30 runs nudged him past Will Thew into 25th on the club's all-time run-scorers list, a nice personal landmark on an otherwise chastening day.

Not our day, then — beaten by nine wickets, heads up, and back to the nets we go.

Thu 13 Jun 2024 🧢 Twenty20v Rainham (Kent) CC · HomeformWWWLW

Rain drizzled steadily down on Linton Park on the 13th of June, but nothing was going to dampen my mood after I won the toss and elected to bat — the right call, if I do say so myself. And how the lads repaid that faith: 101 for 3 off our ten overs, built on a fine unbeaten 30 from Tobey Castle, sturdy support of 28 from George Taylor, and a breezy 22 not out from Luke Welsman. Not every entry in the ledger was so flattering, mind — Fred Taylor's first-ball duck earned him the walk of shame, and the Duck Club's membership swells once more.

Defending 101 against Rainham (Kent), I confess I approached the field with the cautious optimism of a man who has seen totals chased down by tea-time. I needn't have worried. James Hatton departed for a golden duck of his own at our hands, and from there the innings never recovered. Mardey Castle was superb with the ball, 2 for 9 of pure menace, backed up nicely by Nick Pennefather (1-5) and Fred Taylor — redeeming himself handsomely with 1 for 7 after his batting mishap. I even chipped in with 18 of my own, purely in a supervisory capacity, you understand.

Rainham finished on 51 for 6, a full 50 runs short, and two points duly banked. George Taylor sits proudly atop the season's run charts on 55, with Mardey Castle leading the wickets on 3. A thoroughly earned victory, and a drizzly afternoon well spent.

Sun 09 Jun 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv Snodland Community CC · HomeformLWLWL

Beat by five wickets — but a good toss to win, and I still say batting first was the right call. On another day 68 gets defended.

We took the field on a pleasant, overcast Sunday against Snodland Community CC, and having called it right at the toss I opted to bat. That, at least, was the correct decision — the execution rather let it down, as we subsided to 68 all out in 31 overs, with Inus Joubert, Brandon Eloff and James Gray all making the walk of shame for the Duck Club ledger. Not our finest hour with the willow, and precious little to build a total around.

Still, cricket has a habit of not reading the script, and for eighteen overs we made Snodland work harder than 68 had any right to demand. James Gray, having failed with the bat, made handsome amends with the ball, ripping through with 3-18, and I chipped in with a bit of support of my own, picking up 2-11 to keep the pressure on. Jon Cooper stood firm for them with an unbeaten 27, and in the end 69/5 in 18.1 overs was enough to see Snodland home by five wickets — though it took some doing.

Elsewhere in the season, Richard Piper continues to top the Sunday 2nd XI run charts with 79, and I find myself sitting third in the wicket standings with five so far — small consolation on a day the bat let us down.

Verdict: a defeat with the bat, a fight with the ball, and plenty to work on before we're back out there next week.

Sun 09 Jun 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Chestfield CC · AwayformLWLLL

Sunday 09 June found us on the road to Chestfield, under one of those pleasant grey skies that promises nothing and delivers a full day's cricket regardless. The toss went against us, but we squared our shoulders and got on with the job in front of us.

With the bat we posted a handsome 218 for 3 from our 40 overs, the innings built almost entirely around Benjamin Austin, who ground his way to a superb unbeaten 118 - three figures, no less, and worth every ounce of the applause it drew. Luke Welsman played a fine hand in support, motoring past his own fifty to finish on 54, and between them the pair gave us a total that looked, on paper, thoroughly defendable.

Paper, alas, is not pitch. Chestfield replied in emphatic fashion, racing to 222 for 3 off just 34 overs on the back of Jacob Couzens' magnificent unbeaten 119, well supported by Pearson Hulks (59) and Jainold Shirly (23). Daniel Baker led our attack admirably with 1 for 10, with Josh Gurney (1-35) and Thomas Beeney (1-52) also among the wickets, but 218 was never going to be enough against batting of that quality. Austin's century does at least keep him clear at the top of our 2024 Sunday 1st XI run charts on 139, with Beeney similarly out in front among the wicket-takers on 8.

Beaten by 7 wickets in the end - no disgrace against an innings of that calibre, but a reminder that a good score must still be defended with our wits about us. We'll be better for it next week.

Sat 08 Jun 2024 🧢 3rd XIv HC Hadlow CC · AwayformLDDDD

As we headed to Hadlow on the eighth of June, the heavens couldn't quite decide whether to spoil the party, settling for a fine drizzle that never once dampened our spirits. Batting first, we ground out a handsome 242/6 from our 35 overs, built on a trio of half-centuries: Inus Joubert unbeaten on 51, Henry Campbell equally serene on 50 not out, and Srikrishna Challa cruising past his own fifty. Not every man's afternoon sparkled, mind — poor Jonathan Sisley took the long walk back for a duck, and the Duck Club ledger duly welcomed a new entry.

Defending 242 is always a question of nerve rather than arithmetic, and the lads answered it superbly. Terry Measor threatened to make a real fist of it with a fine 66, well supported by Dan Baker's 34, but wickets fell steadily around them — Ian Moore and Graham Nation both departed without so much as a run to their names. Tom Campbell was the chief tormentor with a superb 2-7, backed up nicely by Henry Campbell (1-18) and Ethan Joubert (1-26), and the opposition were held to 149/4.

Our keeper had a busy old time of it, 8 byes slipping through, but nothing that troubled the final arithmetic. Two points, a fine 93-run victory, and a thoroughly satisfying day out — Hadlow's ground, drizzle and all, treated us rather kindly.

Sat 08 Jun 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Holcombe & Blue Bell Hill CC · HomeformLDDDD

Here's the match report:

Saturday brought us a curious mix of sunshine and showers, and I confess the coin behaved rather better than my judgement — I called correctly and, with visions of a flat pitch in my head, elected to bat first. It rather more resembled a struggle than a stroll: 137 for 9 from our forty overs, rescued from the brink of embarrassment by Aaron Hughes, whose 80 was the innings entire. Laurie Probert and Anthony Karassellos will not thank me for mentioning their golden ducks, but a captain's log is nothing if not honest.

With the ball, though, we found our mettle. Matthew Carter was simply magnificent, ripping through Holcombe & Blue Bell Hill's order for 4 for 14 with two miserly maidens thrown in for good measure, and finding support from Harvey Lowe's 3 for 38 and a wicket apiece for Anthony Karassellos. Amal Anilkumar, Sanchit Jain and Owen Anderson all departed without troubling the scorers. Andy Bunker's 48 and Daniel Bennett's 43 proved just enough, though, and the visitors squeaked home at 139 for 8 with four balls to spare — a two-wicket defeat that stung all the more for how close we came.

There was a proper reason to raise a glass regardless: Richard Piper brought up 19,000 career runs for the club, a milestone that puts our modest total rather in perspective. Aaron Hughes and Matthew Carter continue to lead the 2nd XI's run and wicket charts respectively, so the engine room is purring even if the chassis rattled a bit today. Not our day, but heads up — back to the nets, and back stronger next week.

Sat 08 Jun 2024 🧢 1st XIv Bapchild CC · AwayformWDDDD

Showery skies, a lost toss, and an afternoon on the road at Bapchild—rarely has an away fixture asked more questions of a captain's rain jacket. Put into the field, we settled in for the long haul as Bapchild ground their way to 153/8 from their 45 overs, James Sutton unbeaten on 44 and Tom Carey chipping in with 39 to give the total some backbone. But it was Mardey Castle who stole the headlines with a superb 3-13, cutting through the middle order and accounting for poor Tom Gunner without so much as troubling the scorers. Harrison Fermor (1-17) and Fred Taylor (1-24) offered fine support, while Toby Hughes bowled two miserly maidens that no doubt had the Bapchild batters muttering into their tea.

Chasing 154, we made light work of it—rather embarrassingly light, in fact, for a side that so often finds ways to make the simple complicated. The openers put on a commanding 77 for the first wicket before the breakthrough finally came, and from there Toby Hughes calmly saw us home with an unbeaten 54, well supported by Harrison Fermor's brisk 41. I weighed in with 33 of my own, more relieved than heroic, as we cantered to victory in just 19.1 overs.

An eight-wicket win, two points banked, and barely a blade of grass troubled in the process. With Fermor now top of the season's run charts and Hughes leading the wickets column, this was as complete a team performance as you'll see on a soggy Saturday—verdict: emphatic, deserved, and dangerously close to making it look easy.

Thu 06 Jun 2024 🧢 Twenty20v Headcorn CC · HomeformLWWWL

Thursday 6 June, and Headcorn came calling under skies that couldn't quite decide themselves — pleasant enough for a chair and a flask, cloudy enough to keep everyone honest. I lost the toss, which these days I take almost as a compliment to my consistency, and Headcorn duly chose to bat.

What followed was really rather good fun to captain. Will Thew was in one of those moods, ripping through for 3-5 and leaving the Headcorn middle order looking distinctly unsettled, with Fred Taylor (1-9) and Tobey Castle (1-11) tidying up either end. Kevin Richardson, M Plesence and Paul Millen all trooped off for ducks, and Headcorn folded for just 81 in 17.4 overs — only Charlie Tresnan (23 not out) and Luke Grant (20) offering any real resistance.

Chasing 82 was never going to trouble us for long. George Taylor played the innings of the day with 27, Fred Taylor backed him up nicely with 26, and we cantered home for the loss of four wickets in barely nine overs. Jordan Austin's golden duck was the only blemish on an otherwise cheerful afternoon.

A comfortable six-wicket win, then, and a thoroughly satisfying one at that — bowled well, chased better, and I only had to make one bowling change all afternoon. Onwards indeed.

Sun 02 Jun 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv Egerton CC, Kent · AwayformLLWLW

Sunday 2 June saw us make the trip to Egerton, and I lost the toss on a pleasant, overcast afternoon that felt made for bowling first — which, naturally, is exactly what we didn't get to do, being sent in to chase instead.

With ball in hand, though, we were a different proposition. Tim Thirkell was quite magnificent, 4 for 4 off a spell that included six maidens — the kind of figures that make batsmen question their life choices — while Johan Eloff (3-19) and Zach Wilde (2-25) mopped up around him. Edward Chantler's 27 was the only real resistance as Egerton were bowled out for 144 in 37.4 overs. I'll admit I made 24 myself, a contribution I'm quietly rather pleased with.

Chasing it should have been gettable, but 110 all out in 31.5 overs told a sorrier tale. Anthony Karassellos batted beautifully for his unbeaten 39, though he ran out of partners, with Frank Harbord and Alexander Nunn both departing for ducks. Too often we dropped short and let Egerton score square, cut and pulled away at their leisure — save for M Brenchley, who at least gave us one moment to cheer, launching a six clean through mid-wicket.

A 34-run defeat, then, and not our finest hour with the bat. Heads up, chins forward, and back to the nets — we'll bowl our way out of far worse than this.

Sun 02 Jun 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Egerton CC, Kent · HomeformWLWLL

Sunday brought Egerton CC to Linton Park under grey skies pleasant enough for cricket, and we duly lost the toss — they had a look at the pitch and sent us in, which we've learned to take as a compliment of sorts.

129/6 from our forty overs was, frankly, a modest total, rescued from mediocrity by Tobey Castle, who batted with real composure for an unbeaten 55 while wickets clattered about him. Credit to the tail, too — a defiant last-wicket flourish of 46 that had Egerton's fielders wondering when the innings would actually end. Not a total to strike fear into anyone, but enough, we hoped, to make them work for it.

Work for it they did. Luke Mangold's 47 was the spine of their reply, and a stubborn 52-run stand for the third wicket undid much of our early promise after we'd had them 8-1 and dreaming. Tobey Castle, having done his bit with the bat, led the attack superbly with 2-23, well supported by Thomas Beeney (2-26) and the ever-tidy Mardey Castle, whose 1-20 and two maidens kept the scoreboard honest. In the end Egerton got there by four wickets, with Aaron Hughes and Thomas Beeney still keeping the season's charts respectable even as this particular Sunday slipped from our grasp.

Not our day, then. Heads up, chins out, and back to the nets — Linton Park lives to fight another weekend.

Sat 01 Jun 2024 🧢 3rd XIv BK Belvedere CC, Kent · HomeformLLDDD

From the captain's chair — Saturday 1st June 2024, and a fine summer's afternoon for it as Belvedere CC of Kent rolled into Linton Park. We lost the toss, they chose to field, and off we went to do the hard yards with the bat first.

123 all out from 37 overs was a scratchy sort of total, held together almost single-handedly by Brandon Eloff, whose 53 was the innings' one shaft of sunlight. Elsewhere the card made for grim reading, with both Altus Diener and Darrell Houghton-Judge back in the pavilion without troubling the scorers. Not our finest hour with the willow, and we knew it.

With the ball, though, we made a proper fight of it. Belvedere were dragged all the way to 126/9 from 37.1 overs — Ahmed Faraj's 30 the backbone, with Davinder Ram (24) and an unbeaten 23 from Harry Sampson keeping them afloat, while Ahmed Yasin joined our own duck club on the way out. Alex Wade was superb, 3-26 the pick of the bowling, with Henry Campbell (2-13, three tidy maidens) and Brandon Eloff (1-4) squeezing the life out of the required rate at the other end. In the end it slipped away by the finest of margins — one wicket — cruel reward for a bowling effort that deserved better.

There was a genuinely proud moment amid the disappointment: Nolan Wilde brought up his 100th appearance in Linton colours, a landmark that puts our narrow defeat rather in perspective. Brandon Eloff and Henry Campbell continue to lead the 3rd XI's run and wicket charts respectively, and rightly so on this evidence.

Verdict: heads up, chins up, back to the nets — this one got away from us, but not for want of trying.

Sat 01 Jun 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Gravesend CC · AwayformDLDDD

We travelled down to Gravesend on a pleasant, cloudy Saturday, and when the coin fell kindly I stuck us in — a decision that looked shrewd for about two hours and rather less shrewd thereafter. Their openers had other ideas, ambling to 97 before the first wicket fell, and though Ian Lowe eventually ran through them with a fine 4-45 (Tim Thirkell and Nick Tromp chipping in with a wicket apiece), Zeaul Karim's well-made 58, backed up by William Cranham's 33 and Neeraj Mendiratta's 29, saw them declare their innings closed at a stiff 206/9 from their forty overs.

Chasing that lot, we never quite found our rhythm. Nick Tromp battled well for 45 and Martin Harris held up an end with an unbeaten 22, but wickets fell steadily around them and we were all out for 143 in the 35th over. Ian Lowe, so heroic with the ball, endured the walk of shame for a duck — the Duck Club ledger duly updated, quacks and all.

Amid the gloom, one small crumb: Tim Thirkell's solitary wicket nudged him past Martin Harris into 9th on the club's all-time wicket-takers list, a achievement that will look better in the record books than it felt in the field. Jordan Austin continues to lead our 2024 run charts on 139, with Lowe top of the wicket pile on 8.

All told, a defeat by 63 runs and not our finest afternoon's work. Heads up, chins forward, and back to the nets — Gravesend have the bragging rights this time, but we'll be sharpening the knives for the return fixture.

Sat 01 Jun 2024 🧢 1st XIv Ashford Town CC · HomeformDWDDD

A pleasant, grey Saturday brought Ashford Town CC to Linton Park, and winning the toss I elected to bat — the right call, I felt, and for once I wasn't wrong. We lost an early wicket with just 1 on the board, the sort of nervy start that has a captain reaching for the tea urn rather sooner than planned, but Toby Hughes and George Taylor steadied things beautifully, putting on 134 for the fourth wicket. Hughes made a fine 66, Taylor a well-crafted 56, and I chipped in with 42 of my own down the order. Harrison Fermor and Alex Keeler both made the long walk back for nought — the Duck Club ledger duly updated 🦆 — but 33 extras and a total of 251/8 from our 45 overs gave us plenty to defend, even after we shed two wickets in a wobbly 44th over.

Defending it, we barely broke sweat. David Foad's 45 and Peter Shields' 37 built Ashford's only meaningful partnership, 85 for the fourth wicket, but once that stand ended the innings unravelled with the enthusiasm of a village fete in a downpour — 118-4 became 124-7 in a blur, Jack Taylor departing without troubling the scorers. Toby Hughes was simply unplayable, spinning his way to 5-23, with Mardey Castle (3-15) and Anthony Karassellos (1-25) mopping up and Alex Keeler bowling three tidy maidens. All out for 136.

A comfortable 115-run victory, then, and a thoroughly good day for the club.

Mon 27 May 2024 🧢 South African XIv Linton Park CC · Homeform—

Well, another Bank Holiday Monday, another lesson in humility from the visitors' dressing room. We travelled in showery, stop-start conditions and never quite got our footing at the crease, limping to 108 for 8 off our 19.1 overs. Nick Pennefather was the one man who looked like he'd read the script properly, top-scoring with a fighting 25, while at the other end Anthony Karassellos and Neill Pennefather both departed for ducks, contributing what the scorebook cruelly calls "a golden nothing" apiece. I chipped in with the bat myself, though I shan't dwell on the figures beyond saying I did my bit to nudge us past three figures.

By any sensible reckoning, 108 should have been a stroll for the opposition to chase down, and for a good while it looked exactly like that sort of afternoon. But cricket, mercifully, doesn't always follow the sensible reckoning, and somehow, through a mixture of nerve, weather-induced chaos and sheer bloody-mindedness in the field, we clawed our way back into it.

Elsewhere, the season's charts continue to take shape: Nick Pennefather sits proudly atop the Chairman's XI run-scorers with his 25, while Martin Harris leads the way for the South African XI on 24.

A fine win by 2 wickets, then, snatched from what should have been a comfortable defeat. We'll take it, and happily, onwards.

Sun 26 May 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Grenfell CC · HomeformWWLWL

Sunday 26 May 2024, and Grenfell CC rolled up to find a soft, drizzly afternoon and a captain who, for once, fancied his luck at the toss. I won it, stuck them in, and for a good while it looked the sort of decision that gets written up kindly. Madhukarreddy Singireddy played beautifully for his 62, with Matthew Stevens (42) and Martyn Ware (32) building around him — the pair adding 86 for the second wicket before we hauled things back. Poor Colin Walton departed for nought, and I'll admit some quiet satisfaction in the 4-44 that did most of the damage, with Mardey Castle (2-55) and Thomas Beeney (1-37) chipping in behind me. Grenfell were bowled out for 243 off 39.5 overs — competitive, but not beyond us.

Chasing 244, we lost an early wicket with nothing on the board, the kind of start that has openers muttering into their tea. But Aaron Hughes played the innings of the day, 87 not out, with Luke Welsman (62) and Alex Wade (32) lending real substance, and the pair added 129 in a fourth-wicket stand that briefly had us dreaming. Richard Piper's duck will not trouble the highlights reel, though 29 useful extras did their bit for the cause.

In the end we fell agonisingly short, 241 for 6 down by two runs — the sort of margin that keeps a captain awake replaying overs he can't change. Not our day, but heads up and back to the nets; there's a match in there somewhere we deserved to win.

Sun 26 May 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv Capel CC, Kent · HomeformWLLWL

There are days when winning the toss feels like a small mercy from the cricketing gods, and Sunday was one of them — I called correctly and, with the clouds doing their best village-green drizzle impression, sent us in to bat. It was, in truth, a battling rather than a glittering total: 135 all out in 33.2 overs, built patiently by Frank Harbord's 26, with Nick Pennefather (21) and Ian Lowe (20) doing their bit to keep the innings honest. Poor Zach Wilde, however, will want this one struck from the family record — a duck to open proceedings, though he'd more than make amends later.

Chasing 136, Capel never quite got going. Phil Lander battled to 23 for the visitors, but wickets fell around him with the regularity of a church bell on Sunday morning — Emma Smith and Oscar Lander both back in the pavilion for ducks. Zach Wilde, redemption arc very much intact, ran through them with 3-16, while Harvey Lowe (2-5) and Alexander Nunn (2-9, with four maidens of positively miserly stinginess) squeezed the life out of any Capel ambitions. Their innings folded for 73 in 32.4 overs. I contributed a watchful 20 with the bat, which I'll take.

A thoroughly earned 62-run victory, then, and two points safely banked — proof, if any were needed, that a soggy Sunday and a modest total needn't spoil the fun when the bowlers turn up in the mood they did.

Sat 25 May 2024 🧢 3rd XIv Lordswood CC · AwayformLLLDD

From the captain's chair — Saturday 25 May 2024. We travelled to Lordswood CC on a pleasant, grey afternoon, the kind that asks no questions of the covers and offers no excuses to a losing captain. I called correctly at the toss and, with barely a flicker of hesitation, chose to bat.

We were made to work for it, but 245/8 from our forty overs was a fine return. Theo Clements led the way with 64, Brandon Eloff chipped in a handsome 52, and Altus Diener weighed in with 47. The openers gave us the platform we needed — 89 without loss before the first fell — and a century stand for the fourth wicket did the heavy lifting thereafter. Then, as is tradition at this club, the wheels came off rather theatrically: 231-4 became 241-7 before anyone had quite worked out what had happened.

With the ball, we were rampant. Lordswood were bowled out for a mere 78 in 20.5 overs, only Oliver Allen's unbeaten 24 offering any real resistance. Their first wicket fell for next to nothing, and a double strike in the twelfth over broke whatever spirit remained. Johan Eloff was outstanding with 3-9, Henry Campbell picked up 2-14, and I found some rhythm of my own with 3-30 — modest consolation for a duck with the bat that the less said about, the better.

A fine win by 167 runs. Onwards.

Sat 25 May 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Holborough Anchorians CC · HomeformDDLDD

Saturday 25 May dawned overcast and pleasant — good batting weather, we all agreed, right up until we lost the toss and were invited to have a bat anyway. Whether that counts as good weather for batting is a question I shall leave for wiser heads. Holborough Anchorians CC were our guests, and gracious ones, as it turned out.

We limped to 124 all out in 37.5 overs, which sounds worse than it felt and felt worse than it sounds. Jordan Austin's 28 was the innings' backbone, with Richard Piper's 20 lending sturdy support, but the less said about Nick Tromp and Sam King's matching golden ducks the better — a pair of noughts to make the scorebook weep.

With the ball, though, we scrapped. Nolan Wilde was superb, snaring 2-27, and Tim Thirkell and Ian Lowe chipped in with a wicket apiece for 12 and 19 runs respectively. But Ibrahim Khan had other ideas, cruising to a well-made fifty of 60, ably assisted by Danish Hussain's 21, and the Anchorians closed it out at 125/5 in 30.5 overs. My own 17 with the bat was a modest contribution to a losing cause, and beaten by five wickets we duly were.

Jordan Austin continues to lead our 2024 run charts with 128, and Tim Thirkell sits second in the wicket-takers with five — proof there's genuine substance in the side, even on an afternoon like this. Onwards, and better, next week.

Sat 25 May 2024 🧢 1st XIv The Mote CC · AwayformDDWDD

It was one of those tosses that ended before it began — we called wrong, and out at The Mote we were sent in to field. No matter; there's a quiet English satisfaction in bowling first on a fresh pitch, and the lads set about it with real purpose. The Mote were shot out for 107 in 32.1 overs, Harry Demarne's 44 the only real resistance amid a procession of ducks for Ward, Waterson and Williams. Fred Taylor was the chief architect of the collapse with 3-15, Toby Hughes chipped in handsomely with 3-16 (and two maidens as tight as my trouser waistband after tea), while Max Butler picked up a wicket for a fiver. Not a run given away lightly, and not a false stroke unpunished.

That left a target that ought to have been a formality, and if our chase occasionally resembled a Sunday stroll rather than a sprint, we got there in the end — 108/5 from 29.5 overs, with Luke Welsman's unbeaten 30 the backbone and Alex Keeler's undefeated 28 the willing support act. A few nerves crept in, as they always do when the finish line is in sight and the tea urn is calling, but five wickets to spare tells its own story.

Harrison Fermor continues to purr along at the top of the run charts with 197 for the season, and Joshua Knowler leads the wicket-takers with 8 — both men quietly building reputations while the rest of us make the tea. Two points, thoroughly earned, and a very tidy afternoon's work.

Sun 19 May 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv Gills Green CC · HomeformWWLLW

Called it right at the toss on a showery Sunday and, with rain threatening and Gills Green CC visiting, I had no hesitation in taking first knock. In hindsight, "no hesitation" might read rather grandly for what followed. We were bowled out for 52 in 25.3 overs, a total that flattered nothing and nobody, least of all Anthony Karassellos, Nick Pennefather and Zach Wilde, who between them conjured a matching set of golden ducks. Three noughts in one innings is the sort of statistic that makes a captain suddenly very interested in the tea urn.

Still, cricket is a game of two innings, and ours came round to bowl with a point to prove. Tim Thirkell led the way with the new ball, finding 1 for 14 and giving the afternoon a flicker of respectability, but Gills Green eased to 55 for 1 in just 13.2 overs and put the matter beyond doubt. Beaten by nine wickets, and no arguing with it.

Elsewhere the season ticks along regardless of our Sunday wobble: Richard Piper sits proudly atop the 2nd XI run charts with 55, and Thirkell now leads the wicket-takers with six to his name — small mercies, and warmly welcomed ones.

As for the verdict: a chastening afternoon with bat, ball and, frankly, toss-calling judgement all found wanting. We'll dust ourselves down, blame the showers a little, and be better for it next week.

Sun 19 May 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv HC Harbledown CC · AwayformLWWLW

Sunday 19 May, and the road took us to Harbledown CC on a lovely sunny afternoon — the sort of day that ought to be reserved for good cricket, though as it turned out only one side had read the script. Put simply, Sudesh Thakur murdered us. His unbeaten 115 was a genuinely superb hundred, and he had willing accomplices in C. Monteith (68) and Gavin Dixon (62), the three of them hauling Harbledown to a monstrous 311/5 from their forty overs. Thomas Beeney toiled manfully for his 2-76, with Ian Hollingworth and Alex Wade chipping in a wicket apiece, but truthfully we were bowling uphill into a gale for most of the afternoon.

Chasing 311 was always going to need something heroic, and instead we mustered a rather sorry 77/9 from 25.3 overs — bowled out in all but name. Alex Wade was the one shining light, top-scoring with 27 and looking, briefly, like a man playing a different match to everyone else. I did my bit with the bat too, though not nearly enough of it. Less happily, Aaron Hughes, Darrell Houghton-Judge and Tom Campbell all contributed golden ducks, which is three too many for any captain's liking.

Alex Wade now leads our Sunday run charts for the season with 38, and Thomas Beeney tops the bowling with 4 wickets — small consolations on a chastening day. A heavy defeat, no dressing it up, but one to learn from and, with luck, never repeat.

Sat 18 May 2024 🧢 4th XIv DC Detling CC · Awayform—

Saturday 18 May found us away at Detling CC, under skies that couldn't quite decide whether to rain on us or merely threaten to. Winning the toss and opting to bowl, I can't say the decision was inspired so much as habitual, but it paid off handsomely. Detling ground their way to 157/7 off their forty overs, with Gary Knope's 38 and Paul Batchelor's 32 the backbone of the innings, though our attack chipped away throughout. James Gray was the pick of the bowling with a superb 3-19, Anton Bourdillon backed him up with 2-28, and Lewis Hunt took one for just 7. William Gray, meanwhile, bowled with the sort of miserly discipline that makes batsmen weep, three maidens and barely a run to be had. Jim Herron and Simon Clare both departed for ducks, which I mention with only the faintest trace of sympathy.

Chasing 158, we got there with something to spare, 160/8 from 34 overs, thanks almost entirely to Theo Clements, who batted with real class for an unbeaten 82 and carried the innings from start to finish. The rest of us fussed about in support, myself included, and I'll happily take my small contribution to the cause without dwelling on it. Richard Odling and William Gray both had quieter afternoons with the bat, each departing for a duck of their own.

A win to savour, then, built on Theo's magnificent knock and a bowling attack that simply refused to be collared. We'll take that all day.

Sat 18 May 2024 🧢 3rd XIv Orpington Ocelots CC · HomeformLLLLD

There was a chill in the air but a spring in our step as we welcomed Orpington Ocelots CC on a pleasant, damp Saturday, and having won the toss I had no hesitation putting them in. It proved a shrewd call, or at least I'll happily take the credit for it: our attack simply ran through them, bowling the Ocelots out for a paltry 98 in 28.3 overs. Only Deepak Bhashyam, with a battling 23, offered any real resistance, while Parvez Husain, Shyam Ramadoss and Vamsi Gaddam all trooped back for ducks. The pick of the bowlers by some distance was Henry Campbell, whose 4-8 was a thing of real beauty, with Ian Lowe (3-26) mixing it up nicely and young Harvey Lowe metronomic with 2-6 and three maidens to boot.

With 99 to win, our reply was rather more sedate than the scoreline suggests it should have been, tea having clearly disagreed with a couple of us along the way. Alex Wade batted with real assurance for an unbeaten 45, well supported by Martin Rivers's 21, and I chipped in with a small hand of my own before we crossed the line at 100/2 from 24 overs, sealing victory with a flurry of two wickets in the 29th over of their reply that finally swung the afternoon our way.

A proper team performance, then, and one that leaves Brandon Eloff still topping our run charts and Henry Campbell now the club's leading wicket-taker this season with eight. On a damp afternoon that threatened to spoil the fun, honours were shared in the end — but on the balance of play, this felt very much like our afternoon.

Sat 18 May 2024 🧢 2nd XIv FC Frindsbury CC · AwayformDDDLD

I completed this straightforward writing task directly.

From the captain's chair — Saturday 18 May 2024

We travelled to Frindsbury CC on a pleasant, if showery, afternoon, and for once I can't blame the toss for anything — I lost it fair and square, and they duly elected to bat. They ground their way to a stiff-looking 178/8 from their forty overs, built around a composed half-century from Robert Sait (50 not out) with useful support from Bailey Driver (47) and Akhil Balagopal (35). Fortunately Matthew Carter had other ideas, ripping through with 4-24 including two miserly maidens, backed up nicely by Tim Thirkell (2-27) and Tom Campbell (2-28) to keep the total within reach.

Chasing 179, we made surprisingly serene work of it. Matthew Pemberton and Bala Balagopal both fell without troubling the scorers, but from there Jordan Austin played the innings of the day, cruising to 65, with Richard Piper right behind him on a well-made 57. I chipped in with 23 not out at the end to help see us home in the 33rd over, finishing on 180/4.

Up the season table Richard Piper now leads our 2024 2nd XI run charts with 100, and Matthew Carter tops the wicket pile with 5 — both fully deserved on this evidence.

A fine win by six wickets, then, and precious little for the showers to spoil. Onwards.

Sat 18 May 2024 🧢 1st XIv Borstal CC · HomeformDDDWD

A pleasant, damp afternoon greeted us for the visit of Borstal CC, and having lost the toss decision to bowl first, I can't say I was unhappy to see the lads take the field early. Borstal built steadily to 176/8 from their 45 overs, with James Whitnell the chief architect of their innings — a well-made unbeaten fifty of 59 — supported by Thomas Tingley (28) and Daniel Tingley (26). Credit to our attack, though: Fred Taylor was superb with 2-16, Mark Christmas and Alex Keeler chipped in with a wicket apiece, and we had the pleasure of sending three Borstal batsmen — Jake Miller, Mohammed Azhar and Matthew Fisher — back for ducks. A tidy shift in the field all round.

Chasing 177, we made light work of it, racing to 177/2 in just 30 overs. The innings belonged almost entirely to Harrison Fermor, whose magnificent century — 107 of the finest — took the game away from Borstal before most of us had finished our tea. I did my modest bit with 22 alongside him, happy to play second fiddle to that sort of batting.

With both sides unable to force the win, honours were shared and the match ended in a draw — though on the balance of a Fermor century and three Borstal ducks, I'd say we shaded the afternoon on style, even if not on the scorecard.

Sun 12 May 2024 🧢 Sunday NVKCv Leeds & Broomfield CC · AwayformWLWWL

As it stands 12 for 2, no wait — Sunday 12 May, away at Leeds & Broomfield, and I'll confess the toss went our way before anything else did.

I won the toss and had no hesitation in bowling — sorry, batting, and I stand by it even now, dressing-room grumbles notwithstanding. It did not entirely go to plan. We were bowled out for 125 in 34.1 overs, a scoreline with rather more drama in the middle than the beginning: 56 for 2 became 60 for 5 in the time it takes to pour a tea, and three of the lads — Mark Christmas, Toby Hughes and Benjamin Austin — will want their ducks kept quiet at the bar afterwards. 🦆 Credit where due to Alex Keeler, whose 34 held the innings together, with Fred Taylor's 28 a fine second act.

With the ball we scrapped, but Leeds & Broomfield made light work of the chase, reaching 126 for 2 in just 19.2 overs. Edward Scrivens sailed past his fifty to finish on 51, well supported by George Davis (34 not out) and James Pope (27 not out), the pair putting on 74 together for the second wicket that rather settled matters. Anthony Karassellos led our attack with 1-31, Fred Taylor chipping in with 1-37, and we did at least prise out two in the tenth over before the tide turned for good. I added a watchful 16 with the bat myself, for what little that's worth.

Beaten by eight wickets, then — no disgrace against batting of that calibre, but plenty to sharpen up. We'll be better for it next week.

Sun 12 May 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv Marden CC, Kent · AwayformWWWLL

Skipper's Log — Sunday 12 May 2024. Down to Marden CC for the day's fixture, and I won the toss and had a look at the surface before opting to bowl first. It was, if I say so myself, the right call — I do enjoy being proved right in front of the lads.

Marden never really got going. They were bundled out for 82 in 23.5 overs, Jim Piper's 33 the only real resistance worth the name. James Scade, Seb Harmer and Edward Chapman all trooped back without so much as a run to their name — three ducks in a single innings is the kind of thing that makes a captain feel rather cruel setting the field. The damage was done chiefly by Zach Wilde, whose 3-8 (with two miserly maidens thrown in) left Marden's middle order picking splinters out of their pads, well supported by Alexander Nunn (2-15) and Tim Thirkell (2-25). Not a run was given away lightly all afternoon.

Chasing 83, we strolled home at 84/2 in 16.4 overs. Alex Wade played the anchor role beautifully for an unbeaten 36, with Josh Gurney (27 not out) keeping him steady company — I chipped in with the bat myself, glad to play my small part in tidying things up.

An eight-wicket win, and a thoroughly pleasant afternoon's work. Onwards to the next one.

Sat 11 May 2024 🧢 3rd XIv New Ash Green CC · AwayformTLLLL

Saturday 11 May took us down to New Ash Green on a warm, cloudy afternoon that felt exactly like the sort of day club cricket was invented for. I lost the toss – a habit I'm developing something of a reputation for – and we were asked to bat.

Runs came from Toby Joseph, unbeaten on 45 and the innings' clear anchor, with Glen Rawson (34) and Srikrishna Challa (24) offering sturdy support around him. Brandon Eloff and Alex Wade both departed for ducks, proof that cricket remains a cruel game even on a pleasant afternoon, but 149/6 from our 40 overs felt like a total with enough substance to defend.

And defend it we did, emphatically. New Ash Green never got going, losing their first wicket with just one run on the board and later stumbling from 39-2 to 43-5 as the pressure told. Elliot Benn's gutsy 42 was the only real resistance, while Peter Webb, Ryan Harley and Mick Sumner all walked back for ducks of their own. Henry Campbell was the chief destroyer with 4-28, Altus Diener bowled with real discipline for 1-9 and two maidens, and I found some rhythm to finish with 4-34 – happily my best return of the season so far, and enough to send me top of the 3rd XI wicket charts.

All out for 87, a full 62 runs short. A thoroughly satisfying afternoon's work, and one we'll happily take the long drive home smiling about.

Sat 11 May 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Sherwood CC, Kent · HomeformWDDDL

Saturday 11 May 2024 dawned warm and grey — the kind of afternoon that promises nothing and delivers everything — as we welcomed Sherwood CC of Kent to Linton Park. I won the toss, which in itself felt like the highlight of the season so far, and had no hesitation whatsoever in sticking us in to bat.

What followed was a genuine treat. We raced to 64 before the first wicket fell, and from there Laurie Probert and Aaron Hughes simply took the game away from the visitors, the pair adding a priceless 150 for the third wicket. Laurie's 81 was the innings of the day, Aaron's 67 ran him close, and Jordan Austin's 35 rounded things off nicely as we closed on a formidable 246/4 from our 40 overs. Tea was taken with rather a spring in the step.

Defending that kind of total ought to be the easy part, and so it proved, if not without the odd wobble to keep hearts fluttering. Sherwood battled to 164/7, with Toby Bonner's unbeaten 34 the best of their resistance, well supported by Danny Demarzo and Kevin Twitchett. Patrick Hemingway, sadly for him, departed for a duck. Tom Campbell was miserly and menacing in equal measure for 1-4, Nick Tromp and Tim Thirkell chipped in either side of him, and Harvey Lowe strangled the middle overs with two maidens. A quiet word too for Tim, whose solitary wicket nudged him past Martin Harris into 9th on the club's all-time list — history made in the margins.

An 82-run win, then, and a thoroughly satisfying one at that. Onwards.

Sat 11 May 2024 🧢 1st XIv Sibton Park CC · AwayformDDDDW

We beat Sibton Park CC by 127 runs on a fine Saturday, 11 May 2024, and I'm delighted to report the toss went our way — an easy decision to bat first, though what followed was anything but straightforward.

Toby Hughes led from the front with a fine 47, and while Harrison Fermor (41) and Fred Taylor (41) chipped in handsomely, the middle order rather lost the plot for a spell — 49-2 became 63-5 before we'd had time to put the kettle on. A robust 74-run stand for the sixth wicket dragged us back to respectability and on to 194 all out, though poor Joshua Knowler will want the scorebook's duck symbol quietly redacted. Still, the day's real headline was Toby's — 2,000 career runs for the club is no small thing, and the tea urn was raised in his honour.

If our batting wobbled, our bowling had no such trouble. Sibton Park never recovered from losing their opener at 0-1, and from there it was carnage — 59-6 collapsing to 65-9 as three of their number departed without troubling the scorer. Mark Christmas was the chief destroyer with a superb 4-9, backed up by Knowler (3-20) and Max Butler (2-4), while Alex Keeler strangled the life out of the innings with three maidens. All out for 67 — a rout, frankly.

A fine day for the club all round, and one Toby Hughes in particular will be framing for the mantelpiece.

Sun 05 May 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv NC Norton Sports CC · AwayformLWWWL

Sunday 5th May, and off we trundled to Norton Sports CC on a pleasant, damp afternoon — the kind of English day that can't decide whether it's spring or a car wash. I won the toss and put them in, and for a good hour or so I felt rather clever about it.

That feeling did not last. Lewis Mitchell (110 not out) and Anthony Kennard (107) both helped themselves to centuries, putting on a stand that made our attack look distinctly amateur, with Paddy Collins chipping in 35 more for good measure. Norton racked up 310/7 from their forty overs, and by the end I was starting to wonder whether "the right call" might need revisiting. Credit where due — Tim Thirkell bowled his heart out for 3-54, moving him past Martin Harris into 9th on the club's all-time wicket-takers list, with Daniel Baker (2-28) and Russell Wilde (2-53) offering honest support. James Armstrong and John Rivers did at least depart cheaply at our hands, small mercies and all that.

Chasing 310 was always fanciful, and so it proved. Richard Piper batted with real application for an unbeaten 49 — enough to lead our Sunday 2nd XI run charts for the season — while I managed 31 in support. Beyond that, Magnus Boxer, Sam King and Daniel Baker all contributed golden ducks, and poor Glen Rawson had a torrid time behind the stumps, 16 byes gifted in what wasn't his afternoon either. All out for 114 in 35.4 overs — a 196-run defeat, and a long, quiet drive home. Not our day. Back to the nets.

Sun 05 May 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv SC Smarden CC · HomeformWLWWL

Sunday saw Smarden CC arrive under grey, damp skies, and having called correctly at the toss for once, I had no hesitation in sticking us in the field — a decision that felt distinctly less clever after Sam Leggis settled in and ground out 22 of Smarden's runs. But cricket, like the English weather, has a habit of turning: 22-1 became 30-4 in the blink of an eye, and the middle order simply couldn't find an answer. Sam Boyns was superb, snaring 3-21, with Thomas Beeney (2-12, and four maidens of positively monastic discipline) and Ian Hollingworth (2-35) mopping up the rest. Smarden limped to 106/8 from their forty overs — a total that, on a good day, we'd fancy chasing down with tea to spare.

And so it proved, if not exactly with elegance. Our reply wobbled its way to 107/5 in 33.3 overs, held together by yours truly with 28 — my contribution to what was, incidentally, my 300th appearance in Linton colours, a milestone I shall be dining out on for some time yet. Poor Josh Gurney will have less to celebrate, departing for a golden duck, though he can console himself that nobody remembers the number four's failures when the top of the table reads Austin 28, Boyns 3 for the season so far.

Five wickets, two points, and a job thoroughly done — scrappy in places, but a win's a win, and I'll take it every time.

Sat 04 May 2024 🧢 1st XIv Staplehurst CC · AwayformDDDDD

Saturday 4 May, and off we trundled to Staplehurst for what turned into rather a nervy afternoon of cricket. Winning the toss, I had precisely no doubts about batting first — a decision that looked reasonably shrewd once we'd posted 198/8 from our 45 overs. Harrison Fermor was the mainstay with a well-crafted 46, Mark Christmas chipped in with 34, and Joshua Knowler finished unbeaten on 28. Poor Nick Pennefather, though, will want this report kept well away from the family scrapbook after his golden duck.

Defending 198 is never a stroll, and Staplehurst made us sweat for every one of it. Graham Ward played a proper captain's innings of his own — 55 of real quality — with James Rodway (49 not out) and Sam McConnel (36) keeping the required rate ticking uncomfortably close. But Joshua Knowler, not content with his runs, turned matchwinner with the ball, snaring 4-26, backed up superbly by Anthony Karassellos (3-45, with two tidy maidens thrown in for good measure) and Alex Keeler (2-35). Three Staplehurst batsmen — Hunter, Martin and Knapp — departed without troubling the scorers.

A word too for Jordan Austin, who brought up his 300th appearance in Linton colours — a magnificent innings of loyalty in itself. In the end we squeaked home by 5 runs, hearts firmly in mouths. A proper old-fashioned nail-biter, and thoroughly deserved: a very good day for the club.

Sat 27 Apr 2024 🧢 3rd XIv YC Yalding CC · AwayformDTLLL

Beaten again, but let me tell it as it happened — a cool, damp Saturday down at Yalding, the kind of afternoon where you half wish you'd stayed under the duvet with a cup of tea. We won the toss, took first use of the ball, and for a while looked rather pleased with ourselves as Yalding limped to 100/8 off their 25 overs. Alex Holt was the pick of the attack with a tidy 2-9, Brandon Eloff chipped in with 2-12, and Zach Wilde took one for 9 of his own. Special mention to poor Lynne Balderstone, sent back for a duck — the walk of shame is never a pleasant one, even when it's the opposition doing the walking.

A hundred looked gettable, and for a few overs it even felt like it might be. In the end we could only muster 87/7 from our 25, and I'll happily admit I contributed my own small share to that total rather than dwelling on the detail here. Brandon Eloff was the shining light with 33 not out, batting on serenely while wickets fell around him. Less happily, David Day and Jonathan Sisley both joined the Duck Club ledger with noughts of their own — the second and third such indignities of the afternoon, which even by our modest standards felt like overdoing it.

So, beaten by 13 runs on a day when the ball did rather more than the bat. Brandon Eloff continues to lead our season's run charts and now sits second in the wickets too — one man doing his level best to carry us. The rest of us will have to catch him up. We go again.

Sun 21 Apr 2024 🧢 Friendly XIv Addington Village CC · AwayformLWDLW

From the captain's chair — Sunday 21 April 2024. We travelled to Addington Village CC on a cool, damp afternoon that felt more suited to soup than sport, but I called correctly at the toss and, with the sort of confidence that usually deserts me by tea, elected to bat.

It proved the right call. We racked up 224/6 from our 35 overs, built almost entirely on the shoulders of Benjamin Austin, who blazed to 93 not out and, in doing so, brought up 5,000 career runs for the club — a landmark that deserved rather better weather. Aaron Hughes chipped in nicely with 44, Jordan Austin's 35 nudged him past Stuart Cheesman into 23rd on the all-time run charts, and somewhere in the middle of it all poor Neill Pennefather departed for a golden duck, to the usual sympathetic jeers.

With the ball, we set about defending it with real discipline. Jackson Todman played the innings of the day with 76, well supported by James Miller's 32 and Rob Goss's unbeaten 23, but the required rate was always a shadow at their shoulder. Nick Pennefather was superb, leading the attack with 2-8 and three miserly maidens, while I did my bit with 2-26 and Luke Welsman picked up 1-4. Tom Goss went for a duck of his own, and the opposition never threatened, finishing on 162/6.

A 62-run victory, then, and a thoroughly good day for the club — soup weather, but champagne cricket.

Sat 20 Apr 2024 🧢 3rd XIv BC Brasted Chart and Toys Hill CC · AwayformWDTLL

Lost the toss on a fine April Saturday down at Brasted Chart and Toys Hill, which meant pads off and boots on for the field — never quite the omen one hopes for, but there we are. Batting first, we crawled and cantered our way to 147 for 9 off our forty, Harvey Lowe playing the anchor's role beautifully for 40, with Brandon Eloff chipping in a tidy 22 alongside him. It was all rather serene until it wasn't — five wickets became eight in the blink of an eye, 108 to 114, as the middle and lower order rather generously donated their wickets to the cause. Special mention, if that's the word, to Thomas Mundell, who contributed a golden duck to proceedings and will no doubt dine out on it for weeks.

With the ball, we set about defending our total with more hope than menace. Their openers laid a solid platform of 60 before the first wicket fell, and from there Will Gilder and Jon Garrard batted us out of the game with unbeaten 38s apiece, Andrew Philip weighing in with 28 for good measure. Altus Diener was the pick of our attack by some distance, prising out two for just 11 runs with a couple of miserly maidens thrown in, while I did what I could for 1 for 34 — more toil than triumph, if I'm honest.

In the end they cantered home by seven wickets with overs to spare. Not our day, all told — heads up, chins forward, and back to the nets we go.