🧢 Captain's Log

Sat 21 Sep 2024 🧢 1st XIv Sissinghurst CC · AwayformWWWLL

We were sent out to Sissinghurst on the 21st of September full of end-of-season swagger, though the coin didn't share our enthusiasm and put us in the field first as they chose to bowl — sorry, batting. Never mind. No complaints when the lads then went out and put together 202 for 2 off their 35 overs, built almost entirely around a magnificent stand of 171 for the second wicket between Jordan Austin (53 not out) and Toby Joseph (50 not out), both bringing up well-made fifties while the rest of us admired from the boundary rope. Luke Welsman chipped in an unbeaten 38, and even the extras column got in on the act with a generous 28 — Sissinghurst's bowlers doing their bit for the cause, whether they meant to or not.

Defending it, we stumbled them early to 6 for 1, which felt like the perfect start until Ben Parsons (74 not out) and Philip Buckingham (30) stitched together 84 for the second wicket and threatened to spoil the afternoon. But 143 for 3 was as far as they got, thanks to Alex Wade's canny 1 for 11, Martin Harris chipping in with 1 for 29, and Farhan Malik strangling the middle overs with four maidens that gave away nothing but frustration.

Personal milestones sweetened the pot nicely: Luke Welsman raised 6,000 career runs for the club, and Jordan Austin's fifty vaulted him past Piers McDonald into 17th on the all-time list. A fine day out — 59 runs the margin, two points banked, and thoroughly, thoroughly earned.

Sat 21 Sep 2024 🧢 Friendly XIv Town Malling CC · HomeformLWWWW

Skipper's Log — Saturday 21 September 2024. We hosted Town Malling CC on an afternoon so wet you could have wrung the outfield out over a teapot, but the covers came off, I won the toss, and there was never any doubt what I'd do with it — bat first and worry about the puddles later.

We were put together nicely with 193 all out in 32.4 overs, Tim Thirkell leading the way with a fine 41, Anthony Karassellos chipping in a handsome 37 and Harvey Lowe 31 alongside him. Henry Campbell and John Karassellos both departed for golden ducks, which at least meant I had company in the pavilion later, having contributed nothing more than a very well-observed duck of my own — the less said the better.

Defending 193 on a soggy ground was always going to be a stern examination, and Harry Kemsley set about failing it thoroughly, motoring to 94 not out and dragging Town Malling home with Thomas Lenham (35) and Alex Coles (22), their fifth-wicket stand of 64 the turning point. Sam King toiled hardest for us with 2-22, well backed by Thirkell's 1-17 (and three miserly maidens) and Nick Tromp's 1-25 — honest returns on an unforgiving day.

Beaten by five wickets in the end, undone as much by one man's brilliance as our own. We'll be better for it next week.

Sun 15 Sep 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Teston CC · HomeformLLWLW

From the captain's chair — Sunday 15 September 2024, and Teston CC came to visit on a pleasant, showery afternoon that threatened rather more than it delivered. I lost the toss, as is now practically tradition, and duly found myself leading the lads into the field.

Teston set about accumulating in that patient, unhurried way that makes a captain's Sunday feel very long indeed, closing on 110/6 from their forty overs with George Birkett's 32 the backbone of the innings. But we chipped away nicely throughout: Farhan Malik was the pick of the attack with 2-11, well supported by Thomas Beeney's 2-12 and Alex Wade's 1-13, while Ian Hollingworth bowled with real discipline, five maidens speaking to a spell that gave nothing away. Graham Smart, mercifully for us, departed without troubling the scorers.

Chasing 111, we made hard work of the start — seven on the board and already a wicket down, the sort of nervy opening that has the tea urn boiling before its time. But Toby Joseph settled things beautifully, compiling an unbeaten 44 and putting on 74 for the third wicket alongside Luke Welsman's fine 27, and we eased home on 114/4 with the 30th over untouched. Spare a thought for David Day, whose golden duck earns him a solemn entry in the club's ledger of shame.

Two points, thoroughly earned, and a six-wicket win to send everyone off to the bar in good spirits.

Sat 14 Sep 2024 🧢 Friendly XIv Linden Park CC · AwayformWLWWW

We drew Linden Park away and I did the sensible thing at the toss for once — called it right, and with a good pitch under our feet there was never much doubt we'd bat first.

What followed was one of those innings you dream about on the drive home. George Taylor was simply magnificent, ticking his way to 103 and giving the innings a spine that everyone else could lean on. Aaron Hughes played the perfect foil with a crisp 53, and Fred Taylor chipped in with 40 as the pair put on 80 for the third wicket to really set the tone. 258/5 from our 35 overs was a total that had Linden Park's captain reaching for the aspirin before he'd even padded up.

In the field we were, dare I say it, ruthless. Gary Stevenson departed for a golden duck with the total on 8-1, and from there Linden Park never really got going. Martin Harris was the pick of the bowlers with 2-16, well supported by Alex Wade's miserly 2-26 — three maidens in there too, the sort of spell that makes a captain's job easy — and Toby Hughes weighed in with 1-2. Isfandyar Haroon's 29 and Jerome Hayes's unbeaten 25 were the only real resistance as the hosts subsided to 116/7.

A 142-run win, two points banked, and George Taylor's century now has him sitting proudly second in our season run charts. Comprehensive doesn't quite cover it — this was Linton Park at its very best.

Sat 07 Sep 2024 🧢 3rd XIv Bredgar CC · HomeformWLLWW

Saturday 07 September 2024, and we welcomed Bredgar CC to Linton Park in fine spirits. I won the toss and had no hesitation in taking first knock — the sort of decision that looks either shrewd or reckless by teatime, and I'm delighted to report it fell firmly into the former camp.

Altus Diener played the innings of the day, a fine 64 that anchored us through to 155/7 from our forty overs, with useful support from Johan Eloff (21) and Theo Clements (20). Brandon Eloff and Praveen Tunga both departed for golden ducks, proof that even on a good day this game keeps everyone humble.

With ball in hand we set about defending it, and defend it we did. Bredgar were bowled out for 126 in 33.4 overs, Tim Aylett's well-made 55 and Oliver Knight's 21 the only real resistance — Brynn Foot and Jack Louden both back in the pavilion without troubling the scorers. Praveen Tunga led the attack beautifully with 3-31, Tim Thirkell and Henry Campbell chipping in with 2-11 and 2-26 respectively to seal things.

A 29-run win, then, and a thoroughly satisfying afternoon's work. Diener continues to churn out the runs — now second in the 3rd XI charts on 349 for the season — while Campbell tops the wicket pile with 29. Onwards we go, in good heart.

Sat 07 Sep 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Gore Court CC · HomeformWWWWW

Saturday 7th September, and Gore Court arrived at Linton Park under a sky that couldn't decide between drizzle and doing us a favour. We lost the toss, were put in the field, and duly settled in for a long, damp afternoon of chasing leather.

Gore Court made a fair fist of it, 161 for 7 from their forty overs, built around a well-crafted unbeaten 82 from Oliver Patel and useful support from James Newell's 20. Credit where it's due: Matthew Carter did the heavy lifting with 2 for 23, backed up nicely by Mardey Castle (2 for 29, three miserly maidens to his name) and Anthony Karassellos (2 for 32). A fitting stage for it too, as this was Matthew's 300th appearance in Linton colours — a landmark that rather puts the rest of us to shame.

With 162 needed, we never quite found our rhythm. Paul Stevens and Joel Fontenelle both departed without so much as a single to their names, and from there it was a rearguard action that petered out at 119 all out in 36.3 overs. Beaten by 42 runs, and no arguing with the maths.

Still, spare a thought for the bigger picture: Richard Piper continues to lead our 2nd XI run charts with 474 for the season, and Matthew Carter tops the wickets with 31 — proof there's genuine substance in this side even when the collective doesn't click. We'll dust ourselves down and come back stronger next week.

Sat 07 Sep 2024 🧢 1st XIv RC Rainham (Kent) CC · AwayformWWWWL

Beaten by two wickets at Rainham on Saturday, but not before we'd given them a proper afternoon's work for it. Lost the toss - no change there - and were asked to field first under skies that couldn't decide whether to be warm or wet, which about summed up our luck all day.

Batting first, 175 for 6 off our 45 overs felt like a par score rather than a match-winning one, and so it proved. Henry Bourdillon was the class act, ticking serenely to an unbeaten 53, with Thomas Roxburgh (35) and Benjamin Austin (29) building the platform either side of him. Even the extras got in on the act with 26 - not quite a top-order contribution, but we'll take runs however the umpires care to gift them.

In the field we scrapped hard. Mark Christmas was superb with the new ball, finishing with 3 for 36, backed up nicely by George Taylor's 2 for 21 and Fred Taylor, whose 1 for 18 included three maidens - the sort of miserly spell that makes a captain's life easier, if only for a few overs. We had Rainham's George Mottram and Chris Small back in the pavilion without troubling the scorers, and had Tom Kelaart (49) not found support from Michael Tyrer (27) and Tom Waters (26), we might have snuck it.

As it was, 179 for 8 got them home by two wickets. Tobey Castle continues to lead our 1st XI run charts on 599, and Mark Christmas now sits second in the wickets column with 17 - small consolations on a day that got away from us. We'll be better for it next week.

Sun 01 Sep 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv BC Brockley CC · HomeformLLWLW

Sunday 1st September, and Brockley CC came calling. Won the toss, chose to bowl — one of those decisions that looks either inspired or idiotic by close of play, and for once I'll take the credit.

Brockley made a fist of it. A Kumar anchored things nicely with an unbeaten 54, with B Mathers (45 not out) and J Higgins (43) chipping in to push them to a healthy 209/8 from their forty overs. Small mercies: S Weall departed without troubling the scorers, out for a duck at our hands. Zach Wilde was the pick of the attack by some distance, 3-31 and looking every inch the man currently sitting second in the club's wicket charts, with Tim Thirkell (2-43) and James Gray (1-26) also getting among the wickets.

Chasing 210, it was Richard Piper who did the heavy lifting — a magnificent 103, three figures and then some, the sort of innings that reminds you why he tops our run charts with 347 for the season. Anthony Karassellos gave him fine support with 57. Between them they did nearly everything right, and still we fell agonisingly short, bowled out for 204/6 to lose by just five runs.

Cruel arithmetic, and no error I can point to beyond the width of a boundary rope. We'll dust ourselves down and be better for it next week.

Sun 01 Sep 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv KC Knockers CC · HomeformWLLWL

We fielded first on a scorching, showery afternoon at Linton Park — the kind of day that can't decide what it wants to be, rather like our top order some Sundays. Losing the toss to Knockers CC and being sent out to bowl felt a touch harsh, but the lads set about it well enough. Freddie Young caught the eye with a fine 54, and there was solid support from Blease (42 not out) and Seb Horner (35), while a stubborn 84-run stand for the fourth wicket threatened to run away from us after we'd struck early with that first wicket down for just 1. Credit where it's due, though: Thomas Beeney was superb, snaring 3-19, Ian Lowe was miserly as ever with 2-12 and two maidens, and Martin Harris chipped in with 1-21 to peg them back to 186/8.

Chasing 187, we made distinctly hard work of a target that ought to have been straightforward, eventually getting home in 37.5 overs for the loss of eight — including two ducks for poor Will Thew and Harvey Lowe, which won't make the highlights reel. It was Darrell Houghton-Judge who carried us, an unbeaten 76 of real substance, ably assisted by Thomas Roxburgh (31) and Sam King (25), with a crucial 90-run eighth-wicket stand steadying nerves that frankly shouldn't have needed steadying.

A two-wicket win, then — scruffy, occasionally alarming, but a win nonetheless. Take the two points and run.

Sat 31 Aug 2024 🧢 3rd XIv Sherwood CC, Kent · AwayformLWLLW

Right, we travelled down to Sherwood CC in Kent on the last Saturday of August, and I won the toss with what I like to think was a decisive flick of the wrist, and elected to bat.

We were duly bowled out for 202 in 38.5 overs — a total with a bit of backbone to it, built by Altus Diener's 45, with Theo Clements (35) and Brandon Eloff (32) chipping in handsomely. Henry Campbell and John Karassellos both departed for golden ducks, which at least meant they had company in the pavilion, since I too contrived a duck of my own — the less said about that innings the better.

With the ball, though, we were a different proposition entirely. Sherwood lost an early wicket at 2 and never recovered their poise, the innings collapsing from 37-4 to 43-7 in the blink of an eye, and all out for a paltry 56 in 29.2 overs. Praveen Tunga (3-12) and Ian Hollingworth (3-16) did the heavy lifting, Henry Campbell chipped in with 2-2, and Tim Thirkell bowled with metronomic parsimony — six maidens, two wickets, and in the process he climbed past Ian Brattle into ninth on the club's all-time wicket-takers list. My afternoon behind the stumps was rather less distinguished, eight byes going begging.

Two points, and thoroughly deserved — a 146-run victory that flattered our modest total and, frankly, papered over my own contribution with the bat.

Sat 31 Aug 2024 🧢 2nd XIv SC Southfleet CC · AwayformWWWWW

From the captain's chair — Saturday 31 August 2024. We travelled to Southfleet CC under a pleasant, drizzly sky, and if you're looking for the moment it all began to unravel, look no further than the toss: called wrong again, and Southfleet had no hesitation in sticking us in.

It did not start well. The first wicket fell for just 1, and while Richard Piper played the anchor role beautifully for his 27, the middle order rather lost the plot, subsiding from a respectable 62-4 to a distinctly wobbly 78-7 in the time it takes to put the kettle on. Jordan Austin and Martin Harris both made the long walk back for ducks, and the Duck Club secretary was sharpening his pencil. All out for 101 in 33.4 overs was, frankly, a modest total to defend.

Modest, but as it turned out, quite enough. Southfleet's top order fared little better than ours — 8-1 early, then a startling collapse from 28-2 to 30-5 as Simran Mahon, Tom Osborne and William Hawkins all departed without troubling the scorers. Matthew Carter was magnificent, 3-7, ably supported by the miserly Mardey Castle (3-19, four maidens!) and Alex Wade (2-26). Josh Harrington's 26 was their best resistance, but 85 all out left them 16 short.

A word too for Darrell Houghton-Judge, who brought up 3,000 career runs for the club — a proper landmark on a day of low scores all round.

Ugly, low-scoring, thoroughly English — and a win is a win. Onwards.

Sat 31 Aug 2024 🧢 1st XIv Tonbridge CC · HomeformDWWWW

Saturday last saw Tonbridge CC roll into Linton Park on an afternoon best described as pleasantly damp — the kind of English summer's day that makes you grateful for a decent squad of jumpers. I called correctly at the toss and, with barely a flicker of hesitation, stuck them in.

For a good while it looked a shrewd decision gone entirely wrong. Liam Wolters and Julius Marshall put on 120 for the first wicket before we so much as troubled the umpire, Wolters finishing unbeaten on a magnificent 91 and Marshall cantering to 61. Khurram Shehzad's unbeaten 25 and an unwanted 41 from the last pair pushed them to 225/6 from their 45 overs — annoying, but Thomas Beeney's superb 4-37, with Toby Hughes chipping in, at least restored some pride. Nadeem Shehzad, Stephen Willcox and Sai Polukonda were rather less fortunate at our end, departing without scoring.

With the bat, Harrison Fermor and I put on 73 for the first wicket before the roof fell in rather dramatically between 184-6 and 188-9. I was pleased enough with my own 76, Bourdillon's 24 and Fermor's 20 gave the innings its backbone, and George Taylor's duck was the one blot on an otherwise respectable 194 all out. A word of real celebration, though: Harrison brought up 1,000 career runs for the club, which put a smile on faces even as the scoreboard didn't.

Down by 31 runs in the end — not our day, and back to the nets we go, heads bloodied but unbowed.

Sun 25 Aug 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv YC Yalding CC · HomeformLLLWL

As we hosted Yalding CC on a pleasant, drizzly, blustery Sunday, the toss did not go our way and we were asked to field first — though as it turned out, that mattered rather less than expected.

Batting first, we posted a formidable 252/9 from our 40 overs, the innings built almost single-handedly around a superb, unbeaten 147 from Brandon Eloff — the sort of innings that has the tea urn talked about for weeks. Altus Diener chipped in a tidy 24 in support, while Anthony Karassellos and Ian Hollingworth both contributed the traditional golden duck, proof if any were needed that even a good day has room for humility. The extras column, ever reliable, weighed in with a generous 31.

With 252 to defend, the bowlers set about their work with relish. Yalding were bundled out for a modest 98 in 22.3 overs, Matthew Massett's 26 the only real resistance. Matthew Fairway, Joe Temperton and Billy Marsden were all sent back without troubling the scorers at the other end. The day, though, belonged to Alexander Nunn, whose 5-15 was a thoroughly deserved five-for, backed up handsomely by John Karassellos (2-19) and Ian Hollingworth (2-20) — and John's haul saw him tick past a rather splendid 100 career wickets.

A 154-run victory and two points thoroughly earned. On this evidence, Eloff's bat and Nunn's arm make for a very happy captain indeed.

Sun 25 Aug 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Newenden CC · AwayformLWLLW

Called it right at Newenden and stuck us in without a second thought — a decision that looked rather clever for about an hour, rather less so by teatime. Their openers put on 66 before we prised one out, and from there Finnian Piper made hay with a well-constructed fifty, backed up by Dan Edwards (38) and Mike Bellhouse (34), the innings closing on a healthy 213/7 from its forty overs. Credit where due: Martin Harris bowled beautifully for 3-42, with William Roxburgh (1-2) tidy in support and Alex Wade chipping in with 1-27.

Chasing 214, we lost our first wicket for just 6 and things looked grim, but Benjamin Austin played an innings of real substance — 85 not out, carrying the order almost single-handedly — with Mardey Castle (37) and Jordan Austin (21) offering the sturdiest support. An eighth-wicket stand of 83 dragged us back into contention when all seemed lost, though ducks for Thomas Roxburgh and Alex Wade were a reminder that not every name on the card can be a hero. We finished 187/9, beaten by 26 runs.

Small consolations amid the defeat: Harris's three wickets nudge him past Alan Wilkes into 7th on the club's all-time list, while Austin (340 runs) and Thomas Beeney (18 wickets) continue to lead the season's charts. A battling effort, undone by that early flurry with the ball — we'll be better for it next week.

Wed 21 Aug 2024 🧢 Midweek XIv TC Tunbridge Wells Wednesday CC · HomeformWWLLL

Bit chilly and overcast for August, but on it went — the toss went against us and Tunbridge Wells Wednesday put us in, which suited nobody but them, as it turned out. Thomas Roxburgh and the top order set about proving them wrong from the very first over, the openers putting on 68 before the first wicket went, and from there we barely looked back. Roxburgh compiled a fine unbeaten 62, Luke Welsman purred to 51 not out, and Jordan Austin's 44 — a knock that also nudged him past Basil Sears into 18th on the club's all-time run charts, no less — anchored a rollicking fourth-wicket stand of 83. We closed on 210/4 from 28.2 overs, which felt like a very tidy afternoon's work indeed.

Then Luke Welsman decided batting wasn't enough fun for one day. Tunbridge Wells began confidently — Wright's 58 and Dawson's 49 built a first-wicket stand of 110 that had us wondering whether we'd left the door open — but once Welsman got the ball rolling, 110-1 became 122-4 in a blink, and the innings simply came apart at the seams. Kennell-Kemmy, H Howard and Peter Howard all trooped back without scoring, John Karassellos and Thomas Beeney chipped in dutifully, and Welsman finished with a barely believable 6-8 from five maidens. They were bowled out for 131.

A 79-run win, then, and a thoroughly good day for the club — the sort where the tea urn tastes that bit sweeter and nobody argues about who's scoring next week.

Sun 18 Aug 2024 🧢 Friendly XIv GC Great Chart CC · AwayformWWLWW

As we win a toss more often than we lose the ball into the pond, it should surprise no one that the coin let us down again at Great Chart, and we were sent in to bat under warm, overcast skies. Richard Piper had other ideas about how the afternoon should go, playing a proper captain's knock of 71, and finding a willing ally in Tom Campbell (44) as the pair put on 78 for the second wicket — the sort of partnership that turns a nervy total into a confident one. Thomas Roxburgh chipped in with an unbeaten 32 to help us to a handsome 198 for 5 from our forty overs, which felt like runs enough to be getting on with.

So it proved. Vivin Mathew batted beautifully for his 85 and looked, for a while, like he might drag Great Chart back into it single-handedly, but he had precious little company — an early wicket at 4 for 1 set the tone, and only a 54-run stand for the third wicket offered any real resistance. Once we got among them it was carnage: 121 for 6 became 128 for 9 in the blink of an eye, with Euan Stoddart and Andrew Cowley both back in the pavilion without troubling the scorers. Thomas Roxburgh, not content with his runs, ran through the tail with 3 for 6, well backed by Anthony Karassellos (2-5), Thomas Beeney (2-11) and the metronomic Ian Lowe. Aaron Hughes will want a quiet word with himself about those ten byes, mind.

All out for 134, and a fine win by 64 runs. A proper team performance, and one to enjoy on the drive home. Onwards.

Sun 18 Aug 2024 🧢 Friendly XIv OC Offham CC · HomeformLWWLW

Fair enough, we won the toss. No, hang on – we lost it, and Offham decided we'd be doing the leather-chasing this weekend. Warm afternoon, cloud cover keeping the tea urn company, and we duly set about giving them a bowl.

Rory Puxley did most of the damage to our figures with an accomplished 90, and Neil Willis chipped in a stout 58 alongside him – the pair looked, for a good while, like they'd bat until closing time. James Godfrey's unbeaten 29 rounded things off nicely for them, and Offham closed on a healthy 224/4 from their forty overs. Credit where due: Nolan Wilde kept plugging away for 2-33, with Johan Eloff (1-21) and Zach Wilde (1-30) chipping in to stop it becoming a total procession.

225 to win is never a stroll after tea, and for a while it looked like exactly the kind of chase that ends in handshakes and rueful shakes of the head. But Luke Welsman set about it with real purpose for 56, and found good company in Benjamin Austin (32) and Daniel Baker (30), the three of them dragging us, over by anxious over, back into a game we had no right to be winning. Eight down at the end – more wickets in the shed than any of us would have liked watching from the boundary – but 228 was enough, and enough is all that counts.

Two wickets in it, two points in the bag, and Benjamin Austin and Nolan Wilde continue to lead our season's run and wicket charts respectively. A proper old-fashioned scrap, won the hard way – I'll take that every Sunday of the summer.

Sat 17 Aug 2024 🧢 3rd XIv HC Hunton Wanderers CC · AwayformLLWLL

From the captain's chair, Saturday 17 August 2024: we made the trip to Hunton Wanderers CC under a warm, overcast sky that promised more than it delivered in the way of drama, at least until the closing overs. The toss went against us and they had no hesitation in sending us in — a decision that looked shrewd for about as long as it takes to make a cup of tea.

We posted 175 for 9 from our forty overs, a total built largely on Martin Rivers' 41 and Altus Diener's watchful 31, with extras chipping in a thoroughly useful 32 — practically an opening partnership in themselves. Less happily, Henry Campbell's afternoon with the bat began and ended in the same instant, a duck to file away and, no doubt, revisit at his leisure over a pint.

In reply, Hunton Wanderers fought hard and got to 148 for 8, Elliot Robertson playing a genuinely fine hand of 55 and Dave Niblett offering solid support with 32. But the ball was doing the talking for us: Praveen Tunga bowled beautifully for 3 for 19, Altus Diener was miserliness personified with 2 for 18 and four maidens, and Brandon Eloff picked up 1 for 16 for good measure. Dibendraraj Ashokan departed without troubling the scorers, fittingly enough.

Two points, and thoroughly earned — a 27-run victory to send us home content. With Brandon Eloff still leading the 3rd XI run charts and Henry Campbell (duck notwithstanding) still top of the wicket pile, the season carries on in fine and faintly ridiculous fashion.

Sat 17 Aug 2024 🧢 2nd XIv HC Hunton Wanderers CC · HomeformWWWWW

Saturday 17 August, and Hunton Wanderers rolled up under grey skies threatening rain that, mercifully, never quite arrived. Winning the toss, I did what any captain raised on damp English pitches does when faced with cloud cover and a decent square — batted first and hoped for the best. The lads obliged handsomely: 198/7 from our 40, with Richard Piper leading the charge on 41, Nick Tromp unbeaten on the same, and Will Thew chipping in a tidy 32. A total with enough about it to make the tea interval taste that bit sweeter.

Defending it was another matter — Mike Bassam looked ominously set on his way to an unbeaten 46, with Jack Mottram lending a hand on 23, and for a while the Wanderers threatened to make a match of it. But Alex Wade, in inspired form, ripped through with 3-26, backed up by Will Thew (1-23) and the metronomic Martin Harris (1-30, two maidens — not a run given away lightly, as I keep telling the youngsters). I even managed to contribute 32 with the ball myself, which I shall be mentioning at every opportunity for weeks to come.

The real story of the day, though, was Alex Wade bringing up his 100th appearance in Linton colours — a landmark achieved, fittingly, with a match-winning spell. Add in Piper's continued dominance atop the run charts and Carter's relentless wicket-taking, and this felt like a club very much on song.

Verdict: a 40-run win, a century of caps, and a very good day indeed.

Sat 17 Aug 2024 🧢 1st XIv AC Ash CC · AwayformLDWWW

Saturday 17 August 2024, and off we trundled to Ash CC in what I like to think of as good spirits, if not necessarily good form. The coin behaved itself for once and I had no hesitation in putting us in — a decision I spent the next 45 overs quietly hoping wouldn't come back to bite me.

It didn't. George Taylor played the innings of the day, 53 well-earned runs, with Max Butler unbeaten on 39 and Tobey Castle chipping in a handy 30 — the pair's stand of 57 for the third wicket the platform on which the whole innings was built. I even managed 30 myself, more through good fortune than good technique. Poor Toby Hughes will want this report to end here, having bagged a golden duck, though as will become clear, he had rather better things to do with the ball in hand. We finished on a satisfying 220 for 8.

And what a spell it turned into. Ash never recovered from 4 for 1 and were routed for 117, Toby Hughes tearing through them with 4 for 22 (three maidens besides — miserly doesn't begin to cover it), Thomas Beeney following up with 3 for 18 and Max Butler 2 for 14. Jordan Lynn's defiant 23 was the only real resistance.

A win by 103 runs, then, and a thoroughly satisfactory afternoon's work. Onwards indeed.

Fri 16 Aug 2024 🧢 Midweek XIv The Dragons CC · HomeformLWWLL

James Churchman's ton did the damage in the end, but let's start where all good club yarns should — with hope. We lost the toss on a warm, drizzly Friday afternoon at Linton Park, were asked to bowl first, and for a while it looked like the sort of decision a captain lives to regret making for the opposition. The Dragons CC, however, had other ideas, posting a hefty 205/4 from their thirty overs, built around a rock-solid 105-run stand for the third wicket and anchored by Churchman's imperious 108 — three figures, no less, ably supported by Jack Killen's unbeaten 48 and Harry Green's 33. Johan Eloff was the pick of our attack, snaring 2-9 with commendable economy, with Henry Campbell (1-27) and Luke Welsman (1-30) chipping in dutifully.

Chasing 206, we made a fair fist of it without ever quite threatening the improbable. Toby Joseph's 34 led the reply, Nick Tromp remained unbeaten on 33, Martin Rivers added 22, and your correspondent contributed a workmanlike 34 of his own. Eloff and Nolan Wilde, alas, contributed golden ducks apiece to the cause — the kind of nothing every batsman fears. We closed on 155/8, fifty runs shy of the target.

Not our day, then — beaten by 50 runs, and heads up, back to the nets. Still, with Aaron Hughes leading our Midweek XI run charts on 124 for the season, there's runs in this squad yet. Onwards.

Tue 13 Aug 2024 🧢 Midweek XIv The Mote CC · AwayformWLWWL

Skipper's Log — Tuesday 13th August 2024. Away to The Mote, and the coin let us down before a ball was bowled, meaning we were condemned to a long, warm afternoon in the field. Milo Price made an absolute mockery of our bowling figures with a magnificent, unbeaten century, and William Hodgson chipped in with a classy fifty of his own, Matthew White adding an unbeaten 49 for good measure. The Mote closed on 274/5 from their 40 overs — a total that had "declaration not required" written all over it. Small mercies: Rod Harcourt walked back for a duck, and Martin Harris toiled manfully for 3-48, with Anthony Karassellos and Nolan Wilde chipping in either side of him.

Chasing 275 was always a tall order, and so it proved. Jordan Austin and Toby Joseph both got in and got out for 25 apiece, Martin Harris added 23 with the bat to go with his earlier wickets, and I found some rhythm of my own — 23 runs and 3 wickets, for what little consolation that's worth on a losing day. Less happily, the Duck Club welcomed Aaron Hughes and Nolan Wilde into its ranks with matching noughts. We folded for 144 in 30.3 overs.

Beaten by 130 runs, no arguing with the maths. Anthony Karassellos remains handily placed 2nd in the Midweek XI run charts, and Martin Harris now leads the wicket charts with 9 — proof there's craftsmanship in the squad even on a chastening day. We'll regroup, lick our wounds, and be better for it next week.

Sun 11 Aug 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Kings Hill CC · HomeformWLWLL

Sunday 11 August, and Kings Hill CC rolled up on a scorching, grey sort of afternoon — the kind where you can't decide whether to bat in a sunhat or a cagoule. I lost the toss, which by now feels less like bad luck and more like a personal vendetta from the coin, and we were put into the field.

They compiled a stern 208/8 from their forty, built on Ian McLean's fine 58, with Jack Doyle (46) and Jack Bray (40) chipping in handsomely. Poor Ibrahim Bilal departed without troubling the scorers — these things happen to the best of us, usually at the worst of times. But the ball did plenty of talking: Thomas Roxburgh was outstanding with 4-23, brother William chipped in with 3-26, and Thomas Beeney picked up one for 44, adding to a season that already has him top of our wicket charts with 17. Benjamin Austin had a torrid time behind the stumps, ten byes leaking away, though I shan't dwell on that in front of the committee.

Then came the fun part. William Roxburgh, in irrepressible form, carried us home with a magnificent 121 not out — now the club's leading Sunday runscorer with 264 — ably assisted by Aaron Hughes's classy unbeaten 67. We reached 210/0 in 35 overs without so much as a hiccup.

Ten wickets, no fuss, tea on time. A very good day for the club indeed.

Sat 10 Aug 2024 🧢 4th XIv AC Ash Village CC · AwayformWL

Beaten by three wickets away at Ash Village, but not before a match that had more twists than the lane out to their ground.

Winning the toss on a warm, cloudy afternoon at Ash, I had no hesitation in taking first knock — and for a while it looked the right call. Neill Pennefather played a lovely, well-made fifty (56), with Farhan Malik chipping in a tidy 26, and when the eighth wicket pair put on a crucial 63 we had every reason to feel pleased with ourselves. Alas, cricket has a way of humbling the complacent, and a collapse from 23-1 to 33-4 reminded us all why we never quite trust the scoreboard until the last man's back in the pavilion. All out for 144 in 34.2 overs — respectable, if a touch light.

With the ball, we made a real fist of it. Ash Village crept to 149-7 in 38.3 overs, James Joslin (36) the chief architect with support from Carl Graham (27 not out) and Cliff Mendes (23), and a stubborn 55-run seventh-wicket stand threatening to spoil our afternoon. But we ran through them in a spell to remember, 47-2 becoming 65-5 before they knew what had hit them — Josh Gurney bowling beautifully for 3-23, Farhan Malik backing up with 2-17, and Henry Campbell miserly as ever with 1-11 and two maidens. I even managed 18 with the bat earlier, for what little that's worth in the telling.

In the end their lower order held firm and we fell three wickets short. A game we probably deserved a draw from and might have won on another day — we'll be better for it next week.

Sat 10 Aug 2024 🧢 3rd XIv Chelsfield CC · HomeformWLLWL

Saturday 10 August 2024, and we welcomed Chelsfield CC to Linton Park under skies that, in hindsight, gave no clue as to the nail-biting they had planned for us. I won the toss and elected to bat, a decision I still maintain was the right one, whatever the scorebook eventually said.

Our innings was a curious old business — 139 all out in 39.5 overs, built chiefly on Praveen Tunga's fine 44 and Sam King's unbeaten 23, with extras chipping in an almost embarrassingly generous 25. Less said the better about Noah Stevens, Nick Tromp and Thomas Mundell, who between them served up a trio of golden ducks 🦆 — three men, three noughts, one collective wince.

Defending 139 always felt a stretch, and so it proved, though not without a proper scrap. Chelsfield crawled to 140/8 in 37.5 overs, undone almost but not quite by Nick Tromp's beautifully miserly 2-6 with two maidens, well supported by Sam King (2-18) and Reuben Mundell (2-18). Rezaur Rahman departed for a duck of his own 🦆, small consolation as Bala Mohan's unbeaten 43 and Rao fahad farooq's 20 nudged them home.

Elsewhere, Martin Rivers continues his quiet season, now 5th in the 3rd XI run charts with 91 to his name — steady, if unspectacular, rather like the rest of us on the day.

Down by two wickets, then. Not our day, heads up, and back to the nets.

Sat 10 Aug 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Holcombe & Blue Bell Hill CC · AwayformWWWWW

It rained on our parade in only the metaphorical sense — the weather stayed dry, but the coin didn't fall our way, and Holcombe & Blue Bell Hill sent us in on a warm, overcast afternoon at their place. We got to 166/9 off our forty, which read better on the card than it felt in the deckchairs: Richard Piper's 41 was the backbone, with Luke Welsman (27) and Nolan Wilde (21) chipping in nicely, before we somehow contrived to go from a perfectly respectable 77-3 to a distinctly less respectable 86-6 in the space of about four overs. Will Thew and Alfie Reeve both bagged golden ducks for their trouble, and — full disclosure — your correspondent added his own name to the list further down the order. We shan't dwell on it.

With the ball, though, we were a different side entirely. The home side never got going, reduced to 6-1 early and picking up ducks for Deon Davis, Kevin Shipton and Nigel McDonald along the way, before folding for 94 in 24.5 overs. Andy Bunker's 41 was the only real resistance. Alex Wade was magnificent, 4-21 with two maidens thrown in for good measure, ably backed up by Matthew Carter (2-24) and Anthony Karassellos (2-30). Fittingly, it was Carter's day for the ages too — 3,000 career runs for the club banked, on top of leading the 2nd XI wicket charts with 25 for the season, while Piper continues to top the run charts with 388.

Seventy-two runs the right way in the end. Ducks and all, a very good day for the club.

Sat 10 Aug 2024 🧢 1st XIv BC Bapchild CC · HomeformLLDWW

From the captain's chair, and what a Saturday it turned out to be. Bapchild came to Linton Park under warm, cloudy skies on 10 August, and winning the toss I had no hesitation in electing to bat — the pitch looked a belter, and for once my gut instinct didn't let me down. We rattled along to 182 for 8 off our 45, built around a lovely, chanceless-looking half-century from Tobey Castle, who batted with real class for his 70. Mark Christmas chipped in handsomely with 34 and Benjamin Austin with 31, though it wouldn't be a proper club report without a nod to the Duck Club — commiserations to George Taylor, Toby Hughes and Fred Taylor, who all made that lonely walk back for nought.

In the field, we set about defending it with real purpose. Bapchild fought hard through Tyler Wassell's 36, Robert Kennett's 24 and Tom Carey's 21, but they never quite got away from us, folding for 123 in 42.5 overs. Mark Christmas was magnificent with the ball, 3 for 21, backed up nicely by Joshua Knowler and Toby Hughes with two apiece, while Alex Keeler bowled a miserly spell — five maidens, not a run given away lightly.

A day thick with milestones too — Tobey Castle's 7,000th run for the club, Alex Keeler's 200th wicket, Toby Hughes past 100 wickets, and both Jordan Austin and Thomas Beeney climbing the all-time lists.

We got home by 59 runs. A very good day for the club indeed.

Thu 08 Aug 2024 🧢 Tour XIv PC Pudsey Congs CC · AwayformWWWLW

Skipper's Log, Thursday 08 August 2024. Down to Pudsey Congs we went, spirits high, kit bags heavier than our top order's confidence, and the coin duly betrayed us at the toss. They elected to bat, which on paper sounds ominous but in practice just meant more time for me to fret at mid-off.

They rattled along to 132/5 from their 20, largely thanks to the two Stolarskis doing what family businesses do best — Zak unbeaten on 53, Joe chipping in with a handy 24. But we had answers of our own: Darrell Houghton-Judge tore through with 2-3, Alex Keeler picked up a tidy 2-20, and John Karassellos grabbed one for just a solitary run. E Restrick and Benjamin Austin both walked back for ducks at our hands, poor souls.

Chasing 133, we wobbled our way to 134/6 in 18.1 overs — Will Thew's unbeaten 32 and Alex Keeler's unbeaten 30 doing the heavy lifting while the rest of us, myself included with a modest 18, did rather less. John Karassellos completed a grim afternoon with a duck of his own, and poor Benjamin Austin, having already bagged nought with the bat, then leaked 8 byes behind the stumps for good measure — not his finest day, bless him.

Still, four wickets to the good and a win's a win. A good day for the club, and Benjamin can console himself with second place in the season's run charts.

Wed 07 Aug 2024 🧢 Tour XIv YC Yorkshire Gentlemens CC · AwayformWWWWL

Yorkshire Gentlemens CC, Wednesday 7th August, and the toss fell kindly – naturally I inserted the opposition into the field, on the basis that runs on the board are worth more than runs in the legs. Benjamin Austin led the way with a fine 54, George Taylor purred along for 47 and Fred Taylor chipped in with 31, steering us to a very respectable 197/9 from our 52.2 overs. Not everything gleamed, mind: Will Thew and Toby Joseph both departed for ducks, proof that cricket retains its capacity for cruelty even on a good day.

With the total looking defendable, the lads turned their attention to the ball, and turned it very well indeed. Tobey Castle was the pick of the attack, snaffling 2-8 with four maidens of positively miserly discipline, while George Taylor (2-9) and Will Thew (2-13) mopped up around him. Only P Holland, with 20, offered any real resistance, and the Gentlemen were dismissed for 106 in 40.5 overs – a comfortable 91-run victory. George Taylor's day behind the stumps was rather more eventful, 16 byes proving the one loose thread in an otherwise tidy performance, and as for my own contribution with the bat – nought – the less said the better; we shall draw a veil over it.

Two points banked, and thoroughly earned. George Taylor continues to lead our Tour XI run charts for the season, with Mardey Castle topping the wickets column – neither man on view today, but their season marches on regardless. A fine afternoon's work, and one the lads can be justly proud of.

Tue 06 Aug 2024 🧢 Tour XIv WC Woodhouse Grange CC · AwayformTWWWW

Skipper's Log — Tuesday 06 August 2024, away to Woodhouse Grange CC.

Lost the toss, asked to bowl first, and there are worse ways to spend a Tuesday evening than watching Ben Burdett (65) and Harry Jackson (64) help themselves to our attack, with Imal Liyanage's 30 rubbing salt into the wound. By the time they declared their innings closed at 205/7 from 20 overs, we'd have settled for keeping them under 200 and called it a good night's work. Credit where due — Fred Taylor kept plugging away for 2-43, and Anthony Karassellos and Matthew Carter chipped in a wicket apiece, but 205 always felt a stretch too far.

And so it proved. We gave it a proper go — George Taylor batted beautifully for an unbeaten 63, the innings' one genuine bright spot, with Matthew Carter (28 not out) and Fred Taylor (25) lending willing support — but we fell short at 180/9, twenty-five runs shy. Anthony Karassellos's golden duck rather summed up our luck with the bat, though he'll take some comfort from passing 200 career wickets — a fine personal landmark on an otherwise chastening evening.

George Taylor now leads our Tour XI run charts for the season with 83, and Mardey Castle tops the wicket pile with 4 — small consolations to carry back on the coach.

Verdict: not our day, beaten by 25 runs, but no shame in it. Heads up, backs straight, and into the nets we go.

Mon 05 Aug 2024 🧢 Tour XIv SC St Chad's Broomfield CC · AwayformWTWWW

I put us in first at St Chad's Broomfield, and for once the coin toss and the decision both looked like genius by tea. Luke Welsman set the tone with a fine 54, Anthony Karassellos chipped in with 49, and Thomas Roxburgh anchored things beautifully with an unbeaten 50 — his innings the calmest thing on the ground all afternoon. The 95-run stand for the seventh wicket was the making of our total, dragging us up to a handsome 290 all out from our 40 overs. Not everyone's name will make the highlights reel, mind — poor Martin Harris walked back for a golden duck, and I'm told the sympathy in the pavilion lasted almost as long as his innings.

Defending it was another matter entirely. St Chad's openers put on 123 without so much as a wobble, and Sharan Prakath's 74, backed up by Toby Smith's 58 and Tim Rogers' 55, kept our fielders honest right to the death. It was Alex Keeler who dragged us back into it with a superb 3-30, while Martin Harris made amends for his blob with the bat by turning miser with the ball — 1-21 and three maidens — and Nolan Wilde weighed in with 1-28. James Prowse departed for nought, and my own 30 with the bat felt almost incidental by comparison. Twelve byes conceded behind the stumps will get a stern word at training, but nobody's memory is that long after a 34-run win.

A proper club cricket occasion, then — runs, nerves, ducks and all — and honours very much ours. Onwards.

Sun 04 Aug 2024 🧢 Tour XIv HC Hundhill Hall CC · AwayformWWTWW

A warm, cloudy Sunday found us on the road at Hundhill Hall CC, and winning the toss I did what any captain fancying a long batting afternoon would do — stuck us in. It proved a shrewd call. We racked up 342/7 from our forty overs, built on twin unbeaten fifties from Toby Hughes and Tobey Castle, with Fred Taylor unbeaten on 48 alongside them. The 84-run eighth-wicket stand was the innings' backbone, and a defiant last-wicket flourish of 73 gave the total a distinctly indecent look. Only poor Nolan Wilde, undone for a duck, blotted an otherwise handsome scorecard — helped along by a generous 39 in extras.

Defending 342 is meant to be the easy bit, and so it proved. Hundhill Hall never got going, subsiding from 10-1 to 24-4 as Mardey Castle (3-10), Toby Joseph (3-26) and Fred Taylor (2-18) shared the spoils, with only Sam Malyan's well-made 74 offering any real resistance. They folded for 160 in 25.1 overs, though our 13 byes suggested Tobey Castle was having rather a testing afternoon behind the stumps. I chipped in with 28 of my own for good measure.

Off the field, warmer applause still: Toby Hughes brought up his 100th appearance in Linton colours, and Thomas Beeney reached 3,000 career runs for the club. A famous day, and a thoroughly earned two points — victory by 182 runs, and not a murmur of complaint from anyone on our side of the tea urn.

Sun 04 Aug 2024 🧢 Friendly XIv EC East Sutton CC · HomeformDLWWL

Sunday 4 August 2024 dawned warm and grey, and East Sutton CC arrived to find the coin falling our way — I had no hesitation in sticking us into the field, a decision I spent the next forty overs quietly hoping wasn't rash. They compiled 142/8, with Ross Poole the chief architect of that total, a composed 65 that gave the innings its spine, while George Welton and Mark Whitmill both chipped in with tidy 22s. Chris Cassley and Darren Thompson departed without so much as a nudge to the scoreboard — two ducks to file away. Our bowling, though, had real teeth: Ian Hollingworth was superb, 2-21 with two maidens thrown in for good measure, miserly to the last ball, and Zach Wilde (2-23) and Frank Harbord (1-6) kept the pressure on throughout.

With the target set, we replied in style: 144/3 in just 25.4 overs. An early wicket at 4 gave everyone palpitations, but Martin Rivers settled the nerves with a glorious unbeaten 62, well supported by Theo Clements' 35 and Henry Campbell's unbeaten 23 — the pair adding a match-defining 76 for the second wicket. Frank Harbord, so economical with the ball, endured a quieter afternoon with the bat, out for a duck.

Two points, seven wickets to spare, and a fine day's work all round — Rivers and Hollingworth both climbing the season's charts in the process. We'll take that.

Sat 03 Aug 2024 🧢 3rd XIv BK Belvedere CC, Kent · AwayformWWLLW

Down by 1 wicket at Belvedere, and every last one of those 11 byes came back to haunt us.

Won the toss, took first knock, and I'll confess I fancied a bigger total than the 121 all out we mustered in 33.5 overs. Theo Clements played the lone hand of substance with 36, Altus Diener chipping in with a tidy 23, but the middle order rather let the side down — Martin Rivers and Stuart Campbell both took the walk of shame for ducks, and 121 always felt a touch light on a good pitch.

Still, with the ball in hand we made a proper fight of it. Henry Campbell was magnificent, 3-30 and leading from the front as he does all season, with Altus Diener (2-16) and the metronomic Tim Thirkell (1-10, four maidens — barely a run given away) squeezing hard throughout. Joe Manser and Harry Sampson both departed for ducks under the pressure, and Belvedere were made to graft for every one of their runs, Bryan Mason's watchful 24 aside.

But cricket has a cruel sense of humour, and ours came with the gloves. Poor Glen Rawson endured a torrid afternoon behind the stumps, 11 byes slipping through — and when the margin at the death was a single wicket, you don't need me to do the arithmetic on where those extras might have counted.

Not our day, then. Heads up, chins out, and back to the nets — Brandon Eloff and Henry Campbell can carry the run and wicket charts for now, the rest of us have work to do.

Sat 03 Aug 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Gravesend CC · HomeformLWWWW

Right at the crease and Gravesend put in first — a warm, showery Saturday, the toss lost, and out we went to field with jumpers rolled up and expectations firmly moderate. Gravesend rattled up 154 all out, Sahil Sharma the chief architect with 45 and Madhusudhan Mali chipping in 37, but the real story of the innings belonged to Alex Wade, whose 5-23 — two of those overs maidens, no less — was the kind of spell that has the tea urn buzzing with talk before you've even finished your sandwich. Matthew Carter (3-34) and Luke Welsman (1-38) tidied up the rest, and Rahul Tihar departed for a golden duck to round off the damage.

Chasing 155, we stumbled to 158/9 off 33 overs in the sort of nervy, low-key fashion that keeps a captain's hair greyer than it needs to be. Henry Bourdillon's 46 was the innings' backbone, Richard Piper's 28 gave it shape, though Luke Welsman and Martin Harris both contributed ducks to the cause — the sort of symmetry only cricket can produce. I managed 3 wickets myself, which I shall modestly describe as a happy day with the ball, and Alex Wade rounded things off by passing 100 career wickets — a landmark thoroughly deserved after that spell.

A one-wicket win, then — the narrowest, most heart-stopping margin the game allows, but two points are two points, and we'll take them with both hands and a stiff cup of tea.

Sat 03 Aug 2024 🧢 1st XIv AC Ashford Town CC · AwayformLLLDW

We travelled to Ashford Town CC on Saturday and lost the toss, which these days feels less like bad luck and more like a season-long theme — they had no hesitation putting us in. Not that it mattered: we posted 305/6 from our 45 overs, built on a stand of 180 for the second wicket after the openers had us purring at 60-1. I'll allow myself a modest mention of my 114, though the real word must go to Toby Hughes, whose 99 was cruelly, agonisingly close to the century he deserved. George Taylor chipped in a tidy 39. Special mention, too, for Jordan Austin, who contributed a golden duck of such purity it deserves its own line in the scorebook. 🦆

With the ball, we set about dismantling Ashford's reply with real purpose. Thomas Beeney was the pick of the attack, snaring 3-38, while Alex Keeler (2-23, including two maidens — not a run given away lightly) and Harrison Fermor (2-33) squeezed the innings dry around Ajith Nair's gutsy 37 and useful contributions from Peter Shields and Craig Buckham. Two wickets in the 25th over turned the tide decisively our way, and Ashford were done for 185 in the 40th.

A 120-run win, then, and a fine day for the club — Toby Hughes continues to top the 1st XI run charts and Alex Keeler lurks menacingly in second on the wicket pile. If this is club cricket at its best, I'll take the toss losses all season long.

Wed 31 Jul 2024 🧢 Twenty20v Headcorn CC · AwayformWWLWW

Wednesday 31st July found us on the road to Headcorn under skies that couldn't decide whether to grill us or drown us — a scorching, showery sort of afternoon that felt like batting inside a kettle. I lost the toss, was invited to field first, and did my best to look like this was exactly what I'd have chosen anyway.

Put in to bat, we posted 131/7 from our 20, a total built on a brisk 32 from Jordan Austin, nudging him past Kevin Presneill and into 21st on the club's all-time run-scorers list — a stat he'll no doubt bring up unprompted for weeks. Tobey Castle chipped in with a tidy 24, keeping his season in good order as he sits third in our 2024 T20 charts on 84 runs.

Defending 131 always feels like asking the lads to guard a sandcastle against the tide, but guard it they did. Headcorn got themselves to 123/5, with Lewis Mitchell the chief threat on 41 and Freddie Hulbert unbeaten on 27, but Luke Welsman was magnificent with the ball, ripping through with 3-12, and Fred Taylor backed him up with 1-11, adding to a season tally that leads our wicket charts on 7. Kevin Baker and Harley Gilks both departed without troubling the scorers, which never hurts.

Eight runs the margin, two points the reward, and thoroughly earned in weather that tested patience as much as technique. A proper club cricket afternoon, and a result to be rather smug about on the drive home.

Sun 28 Jul 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv Penshurst Park CC · HomeformLLLLW

From the captain's chair — Sunday 28 July 2024, and Penshurst Park CC in for a warm, cloudy afternoon at home. Won the toss, elected to bat, and I still maintain that was the right call, whatever the scorebook might suggest by close of play.

Runs proved harder to come by than the forecast promised. We were bowled out for 135 in 36.1 overs, a total that owed almost everything to Theo Clements, whose 47 was the innings' one real statement of intent, with Laurie Probert's 20 lending useful support further down. Elsewhere the ledger was less flattering — Richard Piper and Zach Wilde both took that lonely walk back for nought, the pair of them joining the club's ever-swelling duck club. 🦆

In the field we needed something special and, in truth, never quite found it. Penshurst strolled to 136 without loss in just 18.4 overs, Theo Rimmer compiling a chanceless 70 not out and James Huddy matching him stroke for stroke with 61 not out — a partnership that made light work of our total and shorter work still of our afternoon. My own contribution of 20 with the bat was scant consolation. On a brighter note, Theo Clements' knock keeps him third in the 2024 Sunday 2nd XI run charts with 78 to his name.

All told, not our day — beaten by ten wickets, heads up, and back to the nets we go.

Sun 28 Jul 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Stone-in-Oxney CC · AwayformWWLWL

It was a good day for cricket, wasn't it, if not a good day for us. We won the toss, elected to field on a warm, grey Sunday at Stone-in-Oxney, and I remember thinking it was the right call as we trotted out. It looked rather less right by the time Patrick Watsham had cantered to 67 and Nick Maitland to a tidy 54, the pair putting on 75 for the second wicket and dragging the hosts to 218/9 from their forty overs. Luke Welsman was our chief tormentor with 3-33, well backed by Ian Lowe (2-31) and Thomas Roxburgh (2-56), but Scott Freeman and Tom Knight went home with the proverbial duck against their names, and 218 always felt a par-plus score on that pitch.

Chasing it, we made a proper fist of things. Thomas Roxburgh played the innings of the day with 69, William Roxburgh chipped in a fine 54, and Luke Welsman added 32, the two Roxburghs sharing a crucial 74 for the fourth wicket that briefly had me daring to dream. Alas, Darrell Houghton-Judge, Harvey Lowe and Martin Harris all fell without scoring, and your captain, leading from the front in the worst possible sense, contributed a golden blob — out first ball, bat still gleaming. We finished five short on 213/9.

A captain must lead by example, and on this occasion I led the retreat to the pavilion rather smartly. Heads up, chins up, and back to the nets — this one got away from us, but only just.

Sat 27 Jul 2024 🧢 3rd XIv Lordswood CC · HomeformWWWLL

Blair Mundell 48, well backed up by Brandon Eloff's own 48 and Toby Joseph's 26, saw us to 189/8 from our forty overs — a total I felt reasonably smug about while padding up for the field, especially given the toss had gone against us and Lordswood elected to have first dig at our bowling instead of the other way round. Not that I'd admit the smugness aloud. Captains who count their chickens before the tea interval tend to regret it.

To their credit, Lordswood didn't roll over. Tom Planck's 41 and Jon Hills' 25 gave their innings some shape and for a while it looked a proper contest. But Henry Campbell had other ideas, steaming in for a splendid 3-35 to put the cat among the pigeons, with John Karassellos (2-43) and Kenny Liebenberg (1-7) mopping up nicely either side of him. Altus Diener, meanwhile, bowled with the miserly discipline of a man guarding his allotment — two maidens, not a run given away lightly. Lordswood closed on 148/9 from their forty, well short of the mark.

A fine win by 41 runs, then, and one that keeps both Brandon (359 runs) and Henry (21 wickets) sat proudly atop the 3rd XI's season charts. All in all, a thoroughly satisfactory Saturday — the tea urn worked, nobody lost a boot in the outfield, and we live to fight another week. Onwards.

Sat 27 Jul 2024 🧢 2nd XIv HC Holborough Anchorians CC · AwayformWLWWW

From the captain's chair — Saturday 27 July 2024, and the road took us to Holborough Anchorians CC on a warm, cloudy afternoon that promised much and, in the end, delivered a proper cricketing arm-wrestle.

The coin let us down again — I really must learn to call it differently one of these weeks — and the Anchorians sent us in. We shuffled our way to 140 all out from 36.3 overs, Luke Welsman leading the charge with a fine 30, while the rest of us contributed in that time-honoured village fashion of "some" runs rather than "many." Not a total to frighten anyone, but cricket has a habit of making fools of arithmetic.

So it proved. Anthony Karassellos set about the Anchorians' top order with four maidens and figures of 2-13 that bordered on miserly, Mardey Castle did the real damage with 3-38, and Alex Wade chipped in nicely with 3-46. Shanie Hussain departed for a duck without so much as a nibble at the scorebook, though Abdul Jabbar (33 not out) and Zobi Hussain (21) threatened to spoil our afternoon before the Anchorians folded for 132 in the 39th over.

Eight runs. That's the margin, and it felt like eighty by the time the last wicket fell. Richard Piper continues to purr along at the top of the 2nd XI run charts with 319, and Alex Wade's 13 wickets keep him handily placed in the bowling table. A scrappy, nervy, thoroughly deserved two points — the sort of win that tastes better precisely because it wasn't easy.

Sat 27 Jul 2024 🧢 1st XIv The Mote CC · HomeformWLLLD

We took the field on a warm, grey Saturday afternoon against The Mote CC, and having lost the toss I duly volunteered us for a spell of leather-chasing — as is traditional when the coin lets you down. Jason White made us pay for it, compiling a chanceless 84 not out, with Abraham Thomas (26) and Harry Demarne (22) offering cheerful support as their total climbed to 176 all out off 43.5 overs. Credit where due: Tobey Castle bowled beautifully for 3-13, Alex Keeler chipped in with 2-31 and three tidy maidens, and Fred Taylor took 2-34. Rhys Williams, alas, made the long walk back for a duck.

Chasing 177, we contrived to lose our first wicket without troubling the scoreboard — 0 for 1 does wonders for the nerves — but the lads regrouped in style. Thomas Roxburgh led the recovery with a fine 43, Tobey Castle and Benjamin Austin both weighed in with 26 apiece, and I was rather chuffed to add 26 of my own, plus three wickets earlier in the day for good measure. A stout 66-run stand for the sixth wicket proved the difference, even as poor George Taylor joined the Duck Club with a golden nought of his own.

Amid the tension, a lovely moment: Alex Keeler brought up 2,000 career runs for the club — a landmark worth raising a teacup to. We scrambled home on 177/8 with two wickets to spare, and while my heart may not survive many more finishes like that, two points thoroughly earned is two points thoroughly earned. A proper cricketing afternoon, nerves and all.

Wed 24 Jul 2024 🧢 Friendly XIv ? · HomeformWDLWW

A drizzly Wednesday it may have been, but nothing was going to keep us off the square, and so we welcomed our visitors with the covers rolled away and hope, as ever, springing eternal. Put into the field first, we watched them compile a brisk 158/5 from their twenty overs, Anthony Karassellos top-scoring with a tidy 24. Credit where due, Sam Boyns was superb with the ball, plucking out two for a miserly ten, while Alex Wade and Johan Eloff chipped in with a wicket apiece to keep the total from running away entirely. Mark Christmas, meanwhile, endured one of those afternoons behind the stumps that goalkeepers and wicketkeepers alike dread, twelve byes seeping through like the drizzle itself.

Chasing 159, we never quite found our rhythm, limping to 132/9 despite a genuinely lovely fifty from Brandon Eloff, whose 67 was the innings' one real bright spark. Less happily, Johan Eloff's day went from bowling to batting without much improvement, undone for a duck.

So it's 26 runs short and heads hung a little on the walk back to the pavilion. Brandon's knock at least sees him up to second in our Friendly XI run charts, with Sam third among the wicket-takers — small consolations on a day that got away from us. Not our finest hour, but character is built on afternoons like these. Back to the nets, lads.

Sun 21 Jul 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv HC Holborough Anchorians CC · AwayformLLLLL

Sunday 21 July 2024, and off we trundled to Holborough Anchorians, the sky doing that warm, damp, will-it-won't-it thing that so often precedes a proper cricketing drama. The toss went against us — of course it did — and we were put into the field, which, as it turned out, suited us rather nicely. Alexander Nunn was in irresistible form, scything through the order for 4-25, with Tom Campbell (3-21) mopping up alongside him and Sam Boyns bowling with the miserly discipline of a man checking everyone's expenses (1-5, five maidens to boot). Abbas Raza and Bilal Akbarzai both departed without troubling the scorers, and the Anchorians were skittled for a modest 93.

Ninety-three should be a formality. It was not. What followed was 39.4 overs of the purest club-cricket theatre — nerves jangling, byes multiplying (nine of them, a testing afternoon behind the stumps for Theo Clements, who atoned handsomely with the bat for 20) and Richard Piper playing the innings of the day, 23 priceless runs shepherding us home. Nine wickets down, hearts in mouths, but home nonetheless.

A one-wicket win is the sort that ages a captain by several years in the space of an afternoon, but two points are two points, and these were thoroughly, agonisingly earned. Nolan Wilde continues to top our Sunday run charts and Alexander Nunn our wicket charts — and on this evidence, long may both reign. Bring on next week; my nerves might just be recovered by then.

Sun 21 Jul 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Borstal CC · HomeformLWWLW

Warm and showery over the ground on Sunday, and Borstal CC took full advantage of losing the toss decision to us — no, wait, they won the call and had first use of the bat, leaving us to toil away with the new ball while the rain threatened but never quite committed.

They batted their way to 170 all out in 33.2 overs, and credit where due — Lewis Allan's 61 was a proper knock, well supported by Mohammed Azhar's 23. We did claim an early scalp with just 4 on the board to settle the nerves, and Jack Chester walked back for a duck courtesy of Dylan Solano Nathan's handiwork. Ian Hollingworth was the pick of the attack, 3-33 with two maidens thrown in for good miserly measure, while Alex Wade (2-27) and Thomas Beeney (2-33) chipped in nicely.

Chasing 171, we never quite found our rhythm. An early stumble at 0-1 set an uneasy tone, though William Roxburgh's fine 67 and brother Thomas Roxburgh's 36 — the latter bringing up 2,000 career runs for the club, a proper milestone worth raising a glass to — gave us hope, their fifth-wicket stand of 62 the backbone of the innings. But a horror collapse from 128-5 to 135-8 did for us, with Benjamin Austin and Alex Wade both walking the walk of shame for ducks. All out for 151 in 34.5 overs.

Nineteen runs short, then. Heads up, chins up, and back to the nets we go.

Sat 20 Jul 2024 🧢 3rd XIv OC Orpington Ocelots CC · AwayformLWWWL

Beaten by 19 runs at Orpington Ocelots, but not before we gave them a proper afternoon's cricket on a warm, damp Saturday that never quite decided whether it was a bowling day or a batting one. We lost the toss — no change there — and were put in to field, which on reflection may have been the Ocelots' shrewdest decision of the day. They ground their way to 128 all out in 39.1 overs, Vivek Shivhare top-scoring with 41, while our attack chipped away patiently: Nick Pennefather the pick with a lovely 4-21, John Karassellos and Henry Campbell weighing in with two apiece, and Inus Joubert bowling with the miserly discipline of a man protecting the family silver — four maidens and barely a run to be had.

Chasing 129, we made a game of it without ever quite making it home, bowled out for 109 in 23.1 overs. Altus Diener played the innings of the day, a composed and rather lovely 60, but support was thin on the ground — Prakash Rautaray and Gaurav Gaur had gone without scoring in the first innings, and Theo Clements and Brandon Eloff followed suit with the bat in the second, ducks all round. Theo also had a torrid time behind the stumps, leaking 11 byes, and I contributed a golden duck of my own, about which the less said the better.

Nineteen runs the margin, and no complaints from us — it was there for the taking and slipped through our fingers. Altus's runs and Henry's wickets keep them climbing the season charts, which is some consolation. We'll regroup, we'll learn, and next Saturday we'll have another go.

Sat 20 Jul 2024 🧢 2nd XIv FC Frindsbury CC · HomeformLWLWW

Saturday 20 July 2024, and Frindsbury CC rolled up to Linton Park under skies that couldn't decide whether they were sulking or crying. Warm and drizzly, the kind of afternoon that makes you check the covers twice. I won the toss and stuck them in — call it captain's instinct, call it lucky guess, but I'll take the credit either way.

Frindsbury made themselves at home to the tune of 196/9 off their forty, Simon Coomber the chief architect with a well-crafted 55, Akhil Balagopal and Jacob Knight chipping in 24 apiece. Raymond Burt, mercifully for us, departed for a duck. Anthony Karassellos was magnificent with the ball, 3-50 including two maidens that must have felt like a slow bleed to the batters, with Max Butler (2-32) and Alex Wade (2-35) doing the mopping up.

Chasing 197, we got there in some style — 198/6 with an over to spare. I'm rather pleased to report I led from the front with 54, though Will Thew matched me run for run with an unbeaten 54 of his own, and Henry Bourdillon's 38 kept the engine room ticking. Nice landmarks all round too — Henry brought up 2,000 career runs for the club, and Will's innings shunted him past Tobey Castle into 25th on the all-time run charts.

Four wickets, two points, and a very satisfied stroll back to the pavilion. Thoroughly earned, that one.

Wed 17 Jul 2024 🧢 Midweek XIv ? · HomeformWWLWW

Wednesday 17 July, and we welcomed the visitors to Linton Park under skies that couldn't quite make up their mind — warm enough for optimism, showery enough to keep the covers within reach. Put in first, we limped to 95 all out in 27.2 overs, a total that flattered to deceive. Will Thew's 20 was the innings' backbone, the runs that mattered when little else did, while yours truly's own contribution amounted to a duck best left undiscussed. Martin Harris fared little better, also back in the pavilion without troubling the scorers.

With the ball, we scrapped hard. The visitors edged home at 96/7 from 27.3 overs, undone almost single-handedly by John Karassellos, whose 4-19 was a genuine match-winning effort had the bat done its job earlier, with Darrell Houghton-Judge (1-11) and Anthony Karassellos (1-17) chipping in nobly. Cruelly, it was their own Martin Harris who top-scored with 36 to see them home.

A little sunshine amid the gloom: Will Thew's 20 nudges him past Tobey Castle to 25th on the club's all-time run-scorers list, while John Karassellos climbs to 3rd in this season's Midweek XI wicket charts, behind only Aaron Hughes's runaway 111 at the top of the batting pile.

Verdict: a battling defeat by 3 wickets, bowled well but batted like it was still April. Back to the nets.

Sun 14 Jul 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv BC Boughton & Eastwell CC · AwayformLLWWL

Sunday 14th July found us on the road at Boughton & Eastwell, where I lost the toss and duly received the least surprising instruction in cricket: pads on, we're fielding. No matter — the lads set about building something substantial, and 221/9 from our 40 overs was a fine return on the day's labour. Thomas Roxburgh was the architect, striding past his fifty to 74, while the Joubert brothers chipped in handsomely — Inus with 26 and Ethan with 24 — the pair sharing a third-wicket stand of 95 that put real backbone into the innings.

Defending that total, we were made to work for it. Boughton's Daniel Newman played a lone hand of real quality, cracking 88, and when their eighth wicket added 78 the game briefly threatened to slip from our grasp. But we had the answers where it mattered: Reuben Peddle went for a duck at our hands, and Brandon Eloff cut through with a searing 2-4, well supported by Ian Hollingworth and Martin Harris, who each took 2-13 — Hollingworth adding two maidens for good measure, not a run given away lightly. They folded for 170 in 39.2 overs.

A red-letter day for Ian too, passing 300 career wickets — a landmark thoroughly deserved on an afternoon he made himself so useful. Two points banked, 51 runs to spare, and a long drive home made considerably shorter by the taste of victory. Thoroughly earned, thoroughly enjoyed.

Sun 14 Jul 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv CC Chelsfield Park CC · HomeformWLLLL

Here's the report for the club gazette:

Sunday brought Chelsfield Park to Linton Park, and the toss went against us, which these days feels rather like tradition. Asked to bowl first, we grafted hard in the field — Nolan Wilde led the line beautifully with 2-23, with Frank Harbord and Alexander Nunn chipping in a wicket apiece — but Mahi Reddy's unbeaten 52 gave the visitors real substance, well supported by not-out knocks from Bhrama Munjeti and Dinesh Muduli, and Chelsfield closed on a stiff 234/4.

Chasing 235 was always going to ask questions of us, and truth be told we didn't have the answers. Wickets fell around him, but Nolan Wilde simply refused to be moved, carrying his bat for a superb unbeaten 70 — his second fifty of the day's proceedings, in a manner of speaking, having already done the damage with the ball. Daniel Baker's 22 was the only other score of note, while poor James Gray will be filing this one under "best forgotten," his golden duck the one blot on an otherwise gutsy effort. As captain, I did what I could at the other end, ending unbeaten myself on 70, but 147/8 was always short of the target.

Wilde's efforts keep him top of the 2nd XI run charts on 207 for the season, and Nunn's wicket tally has him third with 9 — small consolations on a chastening afternoon. We fell 87 runs short in the end. Not our finest hour, but the nets beckon, and we'll be back next week wiser, if not much wealthier in the runs column.

Sat 13 Jul 2024 🧢 3rd XIv NC New Ash Green CC · HomeformWLWWW

Down by 13-9 (that Duck Club "3-1 becoming 15-4" figure sits oddly against a final 75 all out, and the visitors' 8-wicket margin implies they chased comfortably) — but no matter, here's the report as given.

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Saturday 13 July 2024, and New Ash Green CC rolled up the drive to Linton Park with the sun out and, rather less helpfully for us, the coin against me too. Down went the toss, up went their fielders, and off we trudged to bat first — never my favourite way to start a Saturday.

It did not go well. Wickets fell in that peculiarly English fashion whereby nothing much happens for an over and then everything happens at once: 3-1 became 15-4 before most of the tea urn had boiled, and poor Johan Eloff completed the full ceremonial walk of shame for a golden duck. Only Brandon Eloff, top-scoring with a battling 29, seemed to remember what the bat was for. We were bowled out for 75 in 26.2 overs — the sort of total you defend with prayer rather than plan.

Prayer, alas, was not enough. Harvey Lowe (1-15) and Henry Campbell (1-19) toiled manfully with the ball, but Luke Shaw batted us out of it with an unbeaten 34, ably assisted by Matthew Bushe's unbeaten 22, and New Ash Green cruised home at 76-2 in 22.3 overs, eight wickets in hand.

Not our day, then — not our week, if we're honest. Brandon Eloff continues to lead our 2024 run charts with 311, and Henry Campbell tops the wicket pile with 16, so the talent is plainly there. We simply need the other nine to turn up alongside them. Heads up, chins out, back to the nets.

Sat 13 Jul 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Sherwood CC, Kent · AwayformLLWLW

Away at Sherwood in Kent, on a Saturday that felt more like a lottery win than a toss, I called it right and stuck them in. Whether it was cunning or just instinct, I'll take the credit. Sherwood built a workmanlike 156/9 off their forty, James Kerr the chief architect with a fine fifty, well backed by James Courtney's 42 and Rhys Richards's 25. Alex Wade was the story with the ball, tearing through the middle order for 4-19, Matthew Carter chipping in with 3-38, Darrell Houghton-Judge with one, and Anthony Karassellos bowling two maidens as tight as his waistcoat. Bailey Elmore, mercifully for us, never troubled the scorers.

Chasing 157, we contrived to make hard work of the easy bits and easy work of the hard bits, in the time-honoured club tradition. One run on the board and we'd already lost a wicket — the sort of start that has spectators reaching for the tea urn in despair. Aaron Hughes departed for a duck, and yours truly rattled along to 29 before the real class took over: Martin Harris anchored things beautifully for an unbeaten 36, Anthony Karassellos matched him with 30 not out, and Will Thew's 29 kept the scoreboard honest. A defiant last-wicket stand of 56 dragged us home with three wickets to spare — heart in mouth, but home nonetheless. A word too for Alex Wade, who brought up 1,000 career runs for the club along the way.

Two points, thoroughly earned, and a result that flattered our nerves rather more than our batting order deserved.

Sat 13 Jul 2024 🧢 1st XIv SC Sibton Park CC · HomeformWWLLL

Saturday 13 July 2024, and we welcomed Sibton Park CC to Linton Park under skies that couldn't quite decide whether they were watching cricket or washing the car. I won the toss and elected to bat, which for once I got right, and the lads set about building something substantial. Harrison Fermor was in fine touch for his 64, Tobey Castle chipped in with a handsome 44 and Jordan Austin weighed in with 40 — the three of them stitching together a 97-run fourth-wicket stand that gave the innings its spine. We closed on a healthy 231/5 from our 45 overs, the kind of total that lets a captain enjoy his tea rather than gnaw at it.

With the ball, Sibton Park made short, brisk work of the reply, racing to 59/1 in just 12.3 overs before the players shook hands on a draw — Ben Allon unbeaten on 29, Josh Woodward alongside him on 20, and honours shared as neither side could force it home. Alex Keeler led our attack with 1-34, and I even had a bowl myself, returning 44 — of runs, mercifully, not extras.

A word of cheer amid the stalemate: Tobey Castle's 44 nudged him past Will Thew and into 25th on the club's all-time run-scorers list, while Harrison Fermor continues to top the 2024 run charts and Alex Keeler sits second among the wicket-takers. A draw, then — honest, hard-fought, and no worse for the drizzle.

Thu 11 Jul 2024 🧢 Twenty20v Kings Hill CC · HomeformLWWLW

Thursday 11 July, and Kings Hill CC came calling on a warm, drizzly afternoon that felt more suited to a duck than a cricket bat — appropriate, as it turned out, since poor Nick Tromp collected exactly that 🦆. The coin behaved itself for once and fell my way, so I had no hesitation putting us in. What followed was a proper treat: George Taylor cracked 63, Toby Hughes wasn't far behind with 53, and Harrison Fermor chipped in a brisk 28 to haul us to 199/5 from our twenty overs. A total, I felt, with a bit of menace to it.

Defending it, Kings Hill never quite got away from us. Nic Trueb battled to 30 and Rhys Morgan finished unbeaten on 24, but wickets kept tumbling at the other end — Chris Harbour and Abhay Chimmalgi both back in the shed without scoring, joining Tromp in the duck club. Max Butler was superb with 3-22, backed up nicely by Thomas Roxburgh (2-11) and Fred Taylor (2-17), and Kings Hill limped to 120/7.

I'll confess a little pride in contributing 53 with the bat myself — nice to lead from the front now and then rather than just from the tea urn. And a lovely landmark for Fred Taylor, notching his 50th career wicket in the same match he took two more.

Verdict: a thoroughly satisfying 79-run victory, and precisely the sort of drizzly Thursday that makes the whole season worthwhile.

Wed 10 Jul 2024 🧢 Midweek XIv Penshurst Park CC · AwayformLWWLW

Wednesday 10 July, and the club minibus (or whatever passes for it these days) rattled its way over to Penshurst Park CC under skies that couldn't decide whether to rain or just sulk. I lost the toss — no great surprise there, my coin-calling remains a work in progress — and we were sent into the field on a pleasantly drizzly afternoon that felt made for lurking seamers.

Penshurst built steadily to 151/7 off their 35, Adam Ranson the chief architect with a fine 64, well supported by James Huddy's 37. Credit to the lads in the field, though: Thomas Beeney was superb, snaring 3-28, with Martin Harris close behind on 3-29, and between them they kept the total to something distinctly gettable.

Chasing 152, we never quite ran away with it but ground it out sensibly — Toby Joseph top-scoring with 38, Aaron Hughes chipping in 36 and Nolan Wilde 34, the runs shared around nicely. Poor Callum Gannon's duck earns him this week's entry in the Duck Club ledger — commiserations, and welcome to the club, such as it is. I even found some rhythm with the ball myself, snaffling three, which I shall be mentioning at every opportunity for weeks to come.

We got there with four wickets in hand — Aaron Hughes now tops our Midweek run charts, Beeney the wickets — and a win's a win, drizzle and all. Onwards.

Sun 07 Jul 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Mersham Le Hatch CC · AwayformLLLWW

We were away at Mersham Le Hatch on a pleasant, showery Sunday, and winning the toss I stuck us in the field — the right call, I still maintain, whatever the scorebook might suggest by close of play. Maulik Makwana had other ideas, though, compiling an imperious 148 not out, with Jeremy Godden playing the perfect foil for 81 as the pair put on 198 for the third wicket and hauled the total up to a distinctly hefty 267/3 from their forty overs. Thomas Roxburgh was easily our pick of the bowlers with 1-33, while Sam Boyns (1-45, two miserly maidens) and Martin Harris (1-49) did what containing they could against a batting pair in irresistible form.

Chasing 268 was always going to ask questions of us, and to our credit the lads had a real go. Oliver Patel batted beautifully for 89, well supported by Thomas Beeney's 53, their 123-run stand for the fifth wicket the innings' backbone, and a generous 26 extras nudged us along nicely too — though eighteen of those were byes, which tells you all you need to know about poor Tobey Castle's afternoon behind the stumps. We fell 36 runs short in the end, finishing on 231/7.

There was a silver lining amid the defeat: Martin Harris's solitary wicket was enough to see him leapfrog Ian Brattle into eighth on the club's all-time list — a nice moment on an otherwise chastening day. We were simply beaten by the better side, and by a better man on it. We'll regroup and come back stronger next week.

Sat 06 Jul 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Gore Court CC · AwayformLLLWL

From the captain's chair — Saturday 06 July 2024, and off we trundled to Gore Court CC full of the usual misplaced optimism.

Lost the toss, as is traditional, and were put into bat. No complaints, mind, because Jordan Austin and his opening partner had other ideas, the pair putting on 69 before the first wicket finally fell — the kind of start that makes a captain feel he might get through the day without chewing his fingernails to the quick. Austin went on to make a fine 48, with Alex Wade (23) and Will Thew (20) chipping in nicely, and I contributed a modest 20 of my own before we settled on 183/8 from our 40 overs. A word for Jordan too — those 48 runs shunted him past Stan Wratten and up to 22nd on the club's all-time run-scorers list, which is the sort of thing that ought to earn a man a pint.

Defending it, Gore Court gave us a fright, matching our own start almost stroke for stroke with a 63-run opening stand, and Majid Sialvi (45) and Oliver Patel (43) threatened to make a mockery of our total. But the floodgates opened from 144-5 to 151-8 in a hurry — poor Harry Slack and Ben Dutnall back in the pavilion without troubling the scorers 🦆 — and they were all out for 153. Martin Harris was magnificent, 4-35, edging past Tim Thirkell to 9th on the all-time wicket-takers list, backed superbly by Matthew Carter (3-22) and Alex Wade (2-30).

Home by 30 runs, milestones tumbling, and tea presumably well earned. A very good day for the club.

Sat 06 Jul 2024 🧢 1st XIv RC Rainham (Kent) CC · HomeformWWWLL

Saturday the sixth of July found us hosting Rainham (Kent) CC under skies that couldn't decide whether to shine or sulk—showery, blustery, thoroughly English. I lost the toss, they chose to field, and off we went to find out what 94 all out looks like when stretched thin over 33.3 overs. Toby Hughes carried the bulk of it with a battling 28, while poor Mark Christmas made the walk of shame for a golden duck—out first ball, and I felt every step of it with him.

With the bat behind us, we turned to the ball in hope more than expectation, and Rainham cantered to 96 for 3 in 20.2 overs to seal it by seven wickets. Michael Tyrer's 33 did the early damage before Tom Kelaart (24 not out) and Sam Ainsley (21 not out) saw them home without much alarm. Harrison Fermor gave us something to cheer with 2 for 23, and Mark Christmas, redemption arriving with ball where it hadn't with bat, chipped in with 1 for 20.

Amid the gloom, one shaft of genuine sunlight: George Taylor brought up 1,000 career runs for the club, a landmark thoroughly deserved and warmly applauded. Fermor continues to lead our 2024 run charts with 243, and Christmas sits third in the wickets column with 9.

Not our day, gentlemen—heads up, and back to the nets.

Wed 03 Jul 2024 🧢 Midweek XIv Warlingham CC · HomeformWLWWL

Under leaden Kentish skies with the odd shower rolling through, Warlingham CC were our visitors, and winning the toss I did the sensible, slightly smug thing and put them in. It looked the right call for a good while too. They battled to 165 all out in 40.1 overs, Denham Earl the chief nuisance with 40 and Esa Mohamad chipping in 23, but Thomas Beeney was in irresistible form, ripping through with 3-20, well backed by Thomas Roxburgh's 2-19 and Nolan Wilde's tidy 1-9.

Chasing 166, we made harder work of it than the target deserved, stumbling to 168/6 off our 31 overs. Aaron Hughes was the innings' backbone with a fine 47, Thomas Roxburgh saw us home unbeaten on 30 and Nolan Wilde weighed in with 28. Spare a thought, though, for poor Alex Wade, who contributed nothing but a duck and a long, lonely walk back to the pavilion — the Duck Club ledger duly updated.

Our own bowlers must have caught the shower-induced wildness too, gifting Warlingham 16 wides and 11 no-balls, generosity we can ill afford to make a habit of. Still, Aaron Hughes climbs to 2nd in the midweek run charts and Thomas Beeney now leads the wicket-takers — form worth savouring.

Four-wicket win, ragged edges and all. A good day for the club, and I'll happily take that.

Sun 30 Jun 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv FC Four Elms CC · AwayformLLLLW

Sunday 30 June, and off we trotted to Four Elms on a damp but agreeable afternoon — the kind of day that makes you grateful for a decent tea. The coin behaved itself for once and I had no hesitation sticking us in.

We posted a healthy 204/8 from our forty, built around a lovely half-century from Jordan Austin (72) and solid support from Alex Wade (40) and Darrell Houghton-Judge, unbeaten on 22. The two of them shared a second-wicket stand of 78 that really set the platform. Poor Dan Corpe will want to forget his contribution — a golden duck to open proceedings — but even his blushes were spared somewhat by a generous 31 extras from a wayward Four Elms attack.

In the field, it was Farhan Malik who did the early damage and finished with the best figures, 3-43, while Thomas Beeney bowled beautifully in support — 2-17 and four maidens, tight as a drum — with Alex Wade chipping in at 1-14. Mason Panvert fell to us without troubling the scorers. Paul Gammage (38) and John Harvey (32) gave Four Elms some hope, but 156/9 was never going to be enough, even allowing for the 8 byes that had poor Benjamin Austin quietly cursing his gloves.

A 48-run win, then, and a thoroughly good day for the club — Austin's bat and Beeney's miserly right arm continue to top the season's charts, and long may it continue.

Sun 30 Jun 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv NC New Ifield CC · HomeformLWLLL

Sunday last saw New Ifield roll up to Linton Park with the sun out and, rather more troublingly, the toss going their way. They elected to bat, which on reflection may have flattered us with the illusion of control, since all it really meant was that we'd be doing the chasing.

George Cranham had clearly had his cornflakes, cruising to 80 and giving our bowling figures a proper working-over, with William Cranham (34) and Krishna Ray (24) chipping in as the openers put on 73 before we so much as glimpsed a wicket, and the third-wicket pair adding a further 78 for good measure. Credit where due: Zach Wilde (2-33) and Frank Harbord (1-17) kept plugging away, James Gray chipped in with one of his own, and Tim Thirkell squeezed out two maidens as if wringing water from a stone. Even so, 192/4 from their 35 overs left us with a proper mountain and not much in the way of climbing gear.

Our reply never quite got off the ground. Tim Thirkell, having bowled his heart out, then batted it too, finishing unbeaten on 23, with Richard Piper's 20 the only other real resistance. Elsewhere it was grim viewing, with Freddie Seymour, Josh Gurney and Daniel Baker all completing the walk of shame for nought apiece — the Duck Club doing a brisk trade. We closed on 99/7, beaten by 93 runs.

Not our finest hour, then. Piper and Wilde remain the season's shining lights atop the run and wicket charts respectively, but for the rest of us it's heads up, chins up, and back to the nets.

Sat 29 Jun 2024 🧢 3rd XIv Sherwood CC, Kent · HomeformWWLWW

Saturday, 29 June 2024, and Sherwood CC of Kent rolled up the drive with the sun out and the covers long since folded away. I called correctly at the toss and, in a rare fit of decisiveness, chose to bat — a decision I shall now claim full credit for.

What followed was a proper feast. Brandon Eloff played the innings of the day, 77 of good, clean hitting, while Kenny Liebenberg (54 not out) and Nolan Wilde (46 not out) tidied up in support, the pair adding a crucial 70 for the fourth wicket as the middle order simply refused to be dislodged. We closed on 262/5 from our 40 overs, a total that had the tea urn practically humming with confidence before we'd even taken the field.

Defending it, the bowlers made short work of the reply. Nolan Wilde, not content with runs, took the ball and ran through the top order with 3-35, while Thomas Seymour (2-10) and the miserly Henry Campbell (2-22, two maidens) squeezed the life out of things at the other end. Bill Williams departed for a golden duck, which I'm reliably informed is always funnier for the fielding side. Patrick Hemingway (27) and Rick Homer (26) offered brief resistance, but Sherwood folded to 133/9.

A 129-run win, then, and a thoroughly satisfying afternoon's work. Onwards, indeed — and someone put the kettle back on.

Sat 29 Jun 2024 🧢 2nd XIv SC Southfleet CC · HomeformWLLLW

We narrowly lost the toss on a warm, overcast Saturday and were put straight into the field against Southfleet CC — never the ideal start, and not one we managed to shake off.

Southfleet made themselves thoroughly at home, closing on 227/4 from their 40 overs. Joel Mulley-Goodbarne played the innings of the day, an unbeaten 81, well supported by Simran Mahon (40) and josh harrington (22), with the pair's 71-run second-wicket stand doing most of the damage to our afternoon. Alex Wade was our pick of the bowlers with 2-38, backed up by Martin Harris (1-15) and Ian Lowe (1-38), though a costly 19 runs off the 29th over rather took the wind out of our sails.

Chasing 228, we never quite got going, bowled out for 142 in 36.3 overs. Aaron Hughes battled hard for 35, with Luke Welsman chipping in 33, but too many of us went cheaply — Ian Lowe's golden duck 🦆 summing up our luck with the bat. It wasn't our finest hour behind the stumps either, with 10 byes conceded, and the bowling strayed generously off line, gifting 16 wides and 9 no-balls for good measure.

There were individual crumbs of comfort: Aaron Hughes remains our leading run-scorer this season with 228, and Ian Lowe sits third in the 2nd XI wicket charts with 9. But 85 runs is 85 runs. Not our day, lads — heads up, and back to the nets.

Sat 29 Jun 2024 🧢 1st XIv Tonbridge CC · AwayformWWWWL

The lads travelled down to Tonbridge on Saturday 29th June with the sun out and hopes reasonably high, though those hopes took a knock when I lost the toss and we were invited to field. No matter — we settled to it, and after a nervy start when Tonbridge lost a wicket with just 6 on the board, they rebuilt through a stubborn sixth-wicket stand of 59 to reach 166/9 off their 45. Stephen Hall's unbeaten 61 was the innings' backbone, with useful support from Liam Wolters (33) and Khurram Shehzad (25). Credit to the bowlers, mind: Toby Hughes was superb with 3-20, Alex Keeler chipped in 2-21 with four maidens of positively monastic discipline, and George Taylor took 1-31. Mark Burns, sadly, walked back for a duck without so much as a wave to the scorers.

Chasing 167, we made a fair fist of it. A crucial second-wicket stand of 59 gave us a platform, and I was rather chuffed to lead from the front with 54 not out, well supported by Benjamin Austin's 20 and, in truth, by 33 runs of pure charity from the extras column. Poor Anthony Karassellos, however, made the long walk back for nought — the duck club gains another member.

In the end we fell 13 runs short on 153/9, a game that slipped through fingers rather than being wrestled away from us. A fair tussle, honourably lost, and we'll be sharper for it next week.

Wed 26 Jun 2024 🧢 Midweek XIv Cudham Wyse CC · HomeformLWLWW

Not our day at Linton Park — Wednesday's glorious sunshine (well, cloud cover and all) couldn't disguise a chastening afternoon against Cudham Wyse. Losing the toss and being asked to field first is never the tonic you want, but the lads gave a good account of themselves in the field, even as the visitors racked up 280/7 from their forty overs. Tahir Adil made merry with a superb unbeaten 125, and he had willing company from Jakria Ahmed's fifty and Junaid Mohammad's 26 — a 120-run second-wicket stand that rather took the game away from us before we'd had a proper look at it. Martin Harris was our pick with the ball, 2-48, well supported by Sam Boyns and Anthony Karassellos with a wicket apiece.

Chasing 281 was always going to ask serious questions of the top order, and while we fell short at 195/7, there was no shortage of application. Anthony Karassellos played the innings of the day, a fine 70, with Will Thew's 46 and Sam Boyns' unbeaten 26 offering good support down the order. Special mention, of the unwanted variety, to Toby Joseph, who contributed his name to the Duck Club ledger with a golden nought — the walk of shame indeed. 🦆

Beaten by 85 runs, then, and no arguing with the margin. A day to doff the cap to the opposition's centurion, dust ourselves down, and get back to the nets.

Sun 23 Jun 2024 🧢 Sunday 3rd XIv TC The Covenant CC · HomeformW

Skipper's Log, Sunday 23 June 2024 — and rarely have I made a decision with less hesitation than winning that toss and reaching for the bat. The Covenant CC came to Linton Park and were duly put in the field, watching us compile 157/9 from our forty overs. Altus Diener led the way with 36, Brandon Eloff matched him run for run with 36 of his own, and Daniel Baker chipped in a tidy 21. Not a total to have the tea urn shaking, but enough, as it turned out, to be going on with.

With the ball we made early inroads — Halif Saddiquin departed for a duck with just 1 on the board, and the visitors never quite recovered their poise. Spencer Gray was magnificent, ripping through with 3-10, well backed up by Farhan Malik's 2-8 and Freddie Seymour's solitary but valuable strike. Vimal Nair stood rather defiantly against the tide, top-scoring with a fine 53 that included a shot of the day — a mid-on six that had us applauding through gritted teeth. His side were bowled out for 135 in 33.1 overs, though not before that painful 19th over cost us 16, and we handed back 22 in wides and no-balls we can ill afford to keep gifting.

Sloppy in places, then, but the bowling did the heavy lifting and we ran out winners by 22 runs. A good day for the club, and with Diener topping the run charts and Gray the wickets, the season's shape is looking rather promising. Verdict: untidy, occasionally nervy, but thoroughly deserved.

Sun 23 Jun 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv NC New Ifield CC · AwayformWLWLL

From the captain's chair — Sunday 23 June 2024. We travelled to New Ifield on a warm, grey sort of afternoon, the kind that promises rain and never quite delivers it. The coin, as ever, did us no favours, and New Ifield chose to bat, leaving us to toil away with the ball for forty overs. They posted 170/8, with William Cranham's unbeaten 43 the backbone of the innings, well supported by Triv Kumar's 28 and Hrishi Ranganathan's 25. There was some cheer for us amid the runs — George Cranham and Prem Dhaliwal both back in the hutch without troubling the scorers. Alexander Nunn was the pick of the attack with 3-43, Tom Campbell chipped in with 2-32, Henry Campbell took one, and Anthony Karassellos bowled two maidens that no doubt felt like small victories in themselves.

Chasing 171, we never quite found our rhythm, bundled out for 118 in 33.3 overs. Richard Piper batted beautifully for his 56, ably assisted by Nolan Wilde's 28, and I contributed 28 myself, but Karassellos, Frank Harbord and Henry Campbell all fell for ducks, and eight byes suggested Theo Clements was having one of those afternoons behind the stumps.

Beaten by 52 runs in the end. Richard Piper continues to lead our Sunday 2nd XI run charts with 151, and Zach Wilde sits second in the wickets with 11 — small consolations on a day that got away from us. We'll be better for it next week.

Sun 23 Jun 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Mersham Sports CC · HomeformWLLLL

We had first use of the ball at home to Mersham Sports CC, and on a warm, overcast Sunday afternoon that felt like exactly the kind of toss to win — so naturally I called it correctly and stuck us in the field without a flicker of hesitation. Whether that was captaincy or cowardice, the lads made it look inspired: Mersham were shut out for 169 all out in their 40 overs, with only Shineyu Anand (45) and Christopher Darlington (31) offering any real resistance, while poor Samarth Tewari trudged off for a duck. Thomas Beeney was the chief tormentor with 3-26, Ian Hollingworth chipped in with 2-25, and Mardey Castle bowled two miserly maidens on his way to 1-19 — not a run given away lightly.

Chasing 170, we wobbled just enough to keep it interesting, slipping to 174/5 in 32.3 overs, with Toby Joseph departing for a blot-on-the-card duck. But one man made the afternoon his own: Benjamin Austin, serene and untroubled, carved out a magnificent unbeaten 104 to see us home, with Alex Wade (24 not out) keeping him steady company at the other end.

Up on the season table, Austin now leads our 2024 Sunday 1st XI run charts with 243, and Beeney tops the wicket pile with 11 — form players earning their stripes when it mattered most.

A fine win by 5 wickets, then, built on tight bowling and one captain's innings with the bat. Onwards.

Sat 22 Jun 2024 🧢 4th XIv OC OD CUACO · HomeformW

Saturday 22 June, and OD CUACO rolled into Linton Park under bright skies while I lost the toss for the umpteenth time this season — they had no hesitation in bowling first. Their innings ticked along nicely to 195/8 off their 40, with Chris Colby (55) playing the anchor role beautifully and Rohan Bridges (37) and Peter White (26) filling in the runs either side. Credit where due: Thomas Mundell was superb with the ball, 2-9 off his allocation, while the Joubert brothers did their bit too — Ethan (2-20) and Lewis (2-30) both among the wickets.

195 was always going to be stiff on that square, and so it proved. We folded for 86 in 36.4 overs, a chase that never really got out of the blocks. Jonathan Sisley and Johan Eloff both walked the plank for ducks — the pond at Linton Park is getting rather crowded this season, gentlemen, do come and collect your quackers.

There were bright spots further up the table: Inus Joubert now sits second in the 4th XI run charts with 64 for the summer, and Ethan Joubert tops the wicket pile with four. Small mercies in a big defeat.

Down by 109 in the end — no dressing it up, this was not our day. Heads up, chins forward, and back to the nets we go.

Sat 22 Jun 2024 🧢 3rd XIv OC Old Williamsonians CC · AwayformWWWLW

Skipper's Log, Saturday 22 June 2024 — an away trip to Old Williamsonians CC, under skies that couldn't decide whether to rain or shine, much like our top order.

We lost the toss, which these days feels less like bad luck and more like tradition, and were duly asked to bat. Ninety-two all out in 31 overs was hardly a declaration of intent, though credit where due: Brandon Eloff top-scored with a gutsy 27, Laurie Probert chipped in 26, and Theo Clements 21. The rest of the card makes for grimmer reading — Glen Rawson, Martin Rivers and Toby Joseph all walked back with ducks, and your skipper, leading from the front as ever, contributed a golden blob. A captain must set an example; I set precisely the wrong one.

Happily, defending modest totals is rather the point of village cricket, and the bowlers made a fine fist of it. Old Williamsonians were bundled out for 81 in their 31 overs, William Hick, Naveed Bhatti and Paul Belsey all departing without troubling the scorers. Altus Diener was quite magnificent, snaring five for sixteen — a five-for richly deserved and the spell of the day by some distance. Nolan Wilde chipped in with three for seventeen, Ben Stott took one for nine, and Brandon Eloff bowled two tidy maidens for good measure. Even the skipper found some redemption with three wickets, proving one can fail spectacularly with the bat and still be of some use.

A fine win by 11 runs — scrappy, low-scoring, and entirely typical of us. Onwards.

Sat 22 Jun 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Upchurch CC · HomeformWWLLL

Saturday 22 June, and the heavens had had their say the night before, leaving us a warm, damp afternoon and Upchurch CC calling correctly at the toss. Fielding first was not in the plan, but the lads shrugged it off admirably.

With the willow, we set about building something substantial. Richard Piper led from the front with a fine 72, well supported by Thomas Roxburgh's 51, and Will Thew stayed unbeaten on 40 to round things out nicely. Jordan Austin's contribution was rather more modest — a golden duck, first ball back to the hutch — though the extras column, a generous 38, more than made up for any such lapses. 256/4 from our 40 overs left Upchurch a stiff task indeed.

And stiff it proved. Matthew Carter turned in a spell to remember, 5-11 with two maidens thrown in for good measure, ripping through their order with genuine venom. Harvey Lowe backed him up handsomely with 5-21, and between the two of them Upchurch never got a foothold — three of their batsmen back without troubling the scorers, all out for 67 in just 19.2 overs. I chipped in with 40 of my own for good measure.

A day for the history books too: Richard Piper's 900th appearance in Linton colours, Will Thew climbing to 25th on the all-time run charts, and Matthew Carter moving to 11th among our wicket-takers. Richard and Matthew continue to lead the 2nd XI's season charts besides.

Won by 189 runs — two points banked, and thoroughly, gloriously earned.

Sat 22 Jun 2024 🧢 1st XIv Upchurch CC · AwayformWWWWW

From the captain's chair — Saturday 22 June 2024, away at Upchurch.

Won the toss, elected to field, and for once I'll take the credit before the excuses start. Upchurch batted first and made it hard work, racking up 194/4 from their forty overs, the damage largely done by a rampaging second-wicket stand of 103. Darren Delport got in and stayed in, a polished 63, with Aaron Walker (40) and an unbeaten Daniel Parker (35) keeping the scoreboard turning. Credit where due, though: Mark Christmas bowled beautifully for 2-19, George Taylor and Toby Hughes chipped in a wicket apiece, and Alex Keeler kept things tight with two maidens when we badly needed the brakes applied.

Chasing 195, we never quite got the platform. An early wicket at 0-1 rather set the tone, and while Alex Keeler fought hard for a battling 43, and I did my modest bit with 16, too many came and went without troubling the scorer — Harrison Fermor and Luke Welsman both departed for ducks. We finished 159/9, thirty-five runs short.

A word of consolation amid the gloom: Mark Christmas's two wickets nudged him past Matthew Carter into 11th on the club's all-time list, while Toby Hughes continues his fine season, second in the run charts and top of the wicket pile.

Beaten, not disgraced. We'll dust ourselves down and come back stronger next week.

Fri 21 Jun 2024 🧢 Twenty20v HC Hadlow CC · AwayformWLWWL

Friday 21 June saw the good ship Linton Park roll up the road to Hadlow, under skies that couldn't quite decide whether to rain on our parade. Winning the toss, I had no hesitation in sticking us in to bat first — and for once, dear reader, the captain's hunch actually paid off.

It was Nick Tromp who set the tone, cruising to 54 not out, while Alex Wade matched him stroke for stroke with an equally handsome 50 not out at the other end — the pair of them doing rather more than their fair share of the heavy lifting. Elsewhere the story was less glamorous: Nick Pennefather and Johan Eloff both departed for ducks, proof that Twenty20 cricket remains a cruel mistress to even the willing. Fortunately the Hadlow bowlers were generous enough to gift us 30 extras, and we closed on a healthy 183 all out from our twenty overs.

With the ball, the lads set about defending it in style. Brandon Eloff was the pick of the attack by some distance, ripping through with 3-16, well backed up by Altus Diener (2-23) and Nick Pennefather, who took two wickets to go with his earlier duck — redemption of a sort. Will Milne's 29 was the only real resistance Hadlow could muster, and their innings petered out at 134/7.

A 49-run victory, then, and a thoroughly good day for the club. Tromp and Pennefather can both point to the season's charts with some satisfaction — but it was the team performance, bat and ball alike, that did the real talking.

Wed 19 Jun 2024 🧢 Twenty20v RC Rainham (Kent) CC · AwayformWWLWW

Here's the match report:

I'll confess it now: I do enjoy the sound of my own voice when the toss falls my way, and calling correctly at Rainham to send us in was, I felt, one of my better decisions of the season. The lads didn't disappoint. Our openers set the tone with a splendid stand of 68 before the first wicket fell, and from there George Taylor took hold of the innings, cruising to a beautifully constructed 57. Toby Hughes chipped in handsomely with 41, and Tobey Castle added a brisk 30, the three of them steering us to a healthy 161/6 from our twenty overs. Cloudy skies, good runs, and not a raindrop in sight — you can't ask for much more on a Wednesday evening.

Defending it was, alas, another matter entirely. Michael Tyrer had clearly not read the script, cantering to an unbeaten 83, with George Mottram lending firm support on 47, and between them they simply took the total away from us — 163/1 in just 17.1 overs told the whole sorry story. Tobey Castle at least had the satisfaction of picking up 1-34, the pick of our bowlers on a tough night, and I managed a personal 57 with the bat that I shan't pretend wasn't pleasing.

There was a bright footnote amid the gloom: Castle's 30 runs nudged him past Will Thew to 25th on the club's all-time run-scorers list, while Taylor continues to lead our 2020 charts with 112 runs on the season. Small mercies. Ultimately, though, a nine-wicket defeat is a nine-wicket defeat — heads up, and back to the nets we go.

Thu 13 Jun 2024 🧢 Twenty20v RC Rainham (Kent) CC · HomeformWWWLW

Rain drizzled steadily down on Linton Park on the 13th of June, but nothing was going to dampen my mood after I won the toss and elected to bat — the right call, if I do say so myself. And how the lads repaid that faith: 101 for 3 off our ten overs, built on a fine unbeaten 30 from Tobey Castle, sturdy support of 28 from George Taylor, and a breezy 22 not out from Luke Welsman. Not every entry in the ledger was so flattering, mind — Fred Taylor's first-ball duck earned him the walk of shame, and the Duck Club's membership swells once more.

Defending 101 against Rainham (Kent), I confess I approached the field with the cautious optimism of a man who has seen totals chased down by tea-time. I needn't have worried. James Hatton departed for a golden duck of his own at our hands, and from there the innings never recovered. Mardey Castle was superb with the ball, 2 for 9 of pure menace, backed up nicely by Nick Pennefather (1-5) and Fred Taylor — redeeming himself handsomely with 1 for 7 after his batting mishap. I even chipped in with 18 of my own, purely in a supervisory capacity, you understand.

Rainham finished on 51 for 6, a full 50 runs short, and two points duly banked. George Taylor sits proudly atop the season's run charts on 55, with Mardey Castle leading the wickets on 3. A thoroughly earned victory, and a drizzly afternoon well spent.

Sun 09 Jun 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv SC Snodland Community CC · HomeformLWLWL

A pleasant, overcast Sunday it was at Linton Park, and Snodland Community CC our visitors for what I'd hoped would be a gentle afternoon's cricket. I won the toss and elected to bat — the right call, I still maintain, whatever the scorebook might suggest to the contrary. Sadly the lads didn't share my confidence in the surface, and we were bowled out for a distinctly modest 68 from 31 overs. Three of our number — Inus Joubert, Brandon Eloff and James Gray — took that lonely walk back for nought apiece, a hat-trick of ducks that will not trouble the club museum for the right reasons.

With such a paltry total to defend, I braced for the worst, but the bowlers had other ideas. James Gray, clearly embarrassed by his batting, atoned handsomely with 3-18, well supported by Nolan Wilde's 2-11, and we dragged Snodland all the way to 69/5 in 18.1 overs before Jon Cooper's unbeaten 27 saw them home.

Amid the gloom, a candle: Glen Rawson's two runs eased him past Mike Elworthy into 13th on the club's all-time run-scoring list — immortality of a modest but genuine sort. Richard Piper continues to lead our 2024 Sunday 2nd XI run charts on 79, and Nolan Wilde sits third among the wicket-takers with five.

Beaten by five wickets, then, and no arguments from me. We batted like men who'd never seen a cricket ball before, and were saved from utter humiliation only by the bowlers. Onwards and, one trusts, upwards.

Sun 09 Jun 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Chestfield CC · AwayformLWLLL

Here's the match report:

Sunday 09 June, and off we trotted to Chestfield CC under skies of the classic English grey — the sort that threatens everything and delivers nothing. I lost the toss, which by now I've come to regard as a formality, and duly we were sent out to field first.

With bat in hand later, we made rather a good fist of things. Benjamin Austin played an innings of genuine class, motoring to 118 not out — three figures, no less, and about time someone in this side reminded the opposition what a proper hundred looks like. He found an able lieutenant in Luke Welsman, whose 54 was no mere makeweight. Between them we posted 218 for 3 from our 40 overs, a total that had me quietly rehearsing my post-match handshake.

Alas, Chestfield had other ideas. Jacob Couzens produced a magnificent century of his own, 119 not out, ably assisted by Pearson Hulks (59) and Jainold Shirly (23), and the pair simply batted us out of it, racing to 222 for 3 in just 34 overs. Daniel Baker toiled honestly for 1-10, with Josh Gurney and Thomas Beeney chipping in a wicket apiece, but it wasn't nearly enough against batting of that calibre.

Seven wickets the margin in the end — a hiding, frankly, but a good-natured one. Austin continues to top our Sunday run charts and Beeney our wicket-takers, so the engine room is purring even if the chassis took a dent today. We'll be better for it next week.

Sat 08 Jun 2024 🧢 3rd XIv HC Hadlow CC · AwayformLWWWL

As we headed to Hadlow on the eighth of June, the heavens couldn't quite decide whether to spoil the party, settling for a fine drizzle that never once dampened our spirits. Batting first, we ground out a handsome 242/6 from our 35 overs, built on a trio of half-centuries: Inus Joubert unbeaten on 51, Henry Campbell equally serene on 50 not out, and Srikrishna Challa cruising past his own fifty. Not every man's afternoon sparkled, mind — poor Jonathan Sisley took the long walk back for a duck, and the Duck Club ledger duly welcomed a new entry.

Defending 242 is always a question of nerve rather than arithmetic, and the lads answered it superbly. Terry Measor threatened to make a real fist of it with a fine 66, well supported by Dan Baker's 34, but wickets fell steadily around them — Ian Moore and Graham Nation both departed without so much as a run to their names. Tom Campbell was the chief tormentor with a superb 2-7, backed up nicely by Henry Campbell (1-18) and Ethan Joubert (1-26), and the opposition were held to 149/4.

Our keeper had a busy old time of it, 8 byes slipping through, but nothing that troubled the final arithmetic. Two points, a fine 93-run victory, and a thoroughly satisfying day out — Hadlow's ground, drizzle and all, treated us rather kindly.

Sat 08 Jun 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Holcombe & Blue Bell Hill CC · HomeformLWWLL

Here's the match report:

Saturday brought us a curious mix of sunshine and showers, and I confess the coin behaved rather better than my judgement — I called correctly and, with visions of a flat pitch in my head, elected to bat first. It rather more resembled a struggle than a stroll: 137 for 9 from our forty overs, rescued from the brink of embarrassment by Aaron Hughes, whose 80 was the innings entire. Laurie Probert and Anthony Karassellos will not thank me for mentioning their golden ducks, but a captain's log is nothing if not honest.

With the ball, though, we found our mettle. Matthew Carter was simply magnificent, ripping through Holcombe & Blue Bell Hill's order for 4 for 14 with two miserly maidens thrown in for good measure, and finding support from Harvey Lowe's 3 for 38 and a wicket apiece for Anthony Karassellos. Amal Anilkumar, Sanchit Jain and Owen Anderson all departed without troubling the scorers. Andy Bunker's 48 and Daniel Bennett's 43 proved just enough, though, and the visitors squeaked home at 139 for 8 with four balls to spare — a two-wicket defeat that stung all the more for how close we came.

There was a proper reason to raise a glass regardless: Richard Piper brought up 19,000 career runs for the club, a milestone that puts our modest total rather in perspective. Aaron Hughes and Matthew Carter continue to lead the 2nd XI's run and wicket charts respectively, so the engine room is purring even if the chassis rattled a bit today. Not our day, but heads up — back to the nets, and back stronger next week.

Sat 08 Jun 2024 🧢 1st XIv BC Bapchild CC · AwayformWWWWW

Saturday 8th June saw us make the trip to Bapchild CC, under skies that couldn't quite decide whether they were showering on us or simply sulking. I lost the toss, which by now feels less like bad luck and more like a personal vendetta from whichever coin is being used, and we were duly sent into the field.

Bapchild ground their way to 153/8, James Sutton unbeaten on 44 and Tom Carey chipping in with 39 doing the heavy lifting for them. Poor Tom Gunner departed for a duck at our hands, which I mention only because he'd want it in print. With the ball, Mardey Castle was the story of the innings, 3-13 of genuine menace, with Harrison Fermor (1-17) and Fred Taylor (1-24) tidying up nicely either side of him, while Toby Hughes bowled two maidens with the sort of miserliness that would make a Yorkshireman proud.

Chasing 154, we barely broke a sweat. The openers put on 77 before the first wicket fell, and from there Toby Hughes played the innings of the day, 54 not out, ably backed by Harrison Fermor (41) and Tobey Castle (33). I even found time to bother the scorers with 33 of my own. Job done in 19.1 overs, eight wickets in hand.

A thoroughly professional afternoon's work, and two points banked. Harrison keeps topping the run charts, Toby the wickets — and on this evidence, long may both continue.

Thu 06 Jun 2024 🧢 Twenty20v Headcorn CC · HomeformLWWWL

Thursday 6 June, and Headcorn came calling under skies that couldn't quite decide themselves — pleasant enough for a chair and a flask, cloudy enough to keep everyone honest. I lost the toss, which these days I take almost as a compliment to my consistency, and Headcorn duly chose to bat.

What followed was really rather good fun to captain. Will Thew was in one of those moods, ripping through for 3-5 and leaving the Headcorn middle order looking distinctly unsettled, with Fred Taylor (1-9) and Tobey Castle (1-11) tidying up either end. Kevin Richardson, M Plesence and Paul Millen all trooped off for ducks, and Headcorn folded for just 81 in 17.4 overs — only Charlie Tresnan (23 not out) and Luke Grant (20) offering any real resistance.

Chasing 82 was never going to trouble us for long. George Taylor played the innings of the day with 27, Fred Taylor backed him up nicely with 26, and we cantered home for the loss of four wickets in barely nine overs. Jordan Austin's golden duck was the only blemish on an otherwise cheerful afternoon.

A comfortable six-wicket win, then, and a thoroughly satisfying one at that — bowled well, chased better, and I only had to make one bowling change all afternoon. Onwards indeed.

Sun 02 Jun 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv Egerton CC, Kent · AwayformLLWLW

From the captain's chair — Sunday 02 June 2024, and we ventured into Kent to take on Egerton CC on a pleasant, if faintly sulky, overcast afternoon. I lost the toss, which these days feels less like bad luck and more like a formality, and we were duly asked to bowl. No complaints there: the ball did enough, and with Tim Thirkell in irresistible form the visitors were bundled out for 144 in 37.4 overs. Figures of 4-4, with six maidens thrown in for good measure, are the kind of thing you don't see twice a season, and he had willing support from Johan Eloff (3-19) and Zach Wilde (2-25). Edward Chantler's 27 was the only real resistance. All told, a highly satisfactory afternoon's toil in the field.

Sadly, what the ball had built, the bat proceeded to dismantle. Chasing what should have been a modest 145, we subsided to 110 all out in 31.5 overs, undone by our own tendency to drop short and invite the square cut and pull rather than trouble anyone in the arc. Anthony Karassellos held firm for an unbeaten 39, but with Frank Harbord and Alexander Nunn both back in the pavilion without troubling the scorer, there simply wasn't enough support around him. There was at least one moment of pure theatre — M Brenchley depositing one flat over mid-wicket for six, briefly making the chase look plausible again.

Not our day, in the end — beaten by 34 runs. Heads up, chins up, and back to the nets.

Sun 02 Jun 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv Egerton CC, Kent · HomeformWLWLL

Sunday brought Egerton CC to Linton Park under grey skies pleasant enough for cricket, and we duly lost the toss — they had a look at the pitch and sent us in, which we've learned to take as a compliment of sorts.

129/6 from our forty overs was, frankly, a modest total, rescued from mediocrity by Tobey Castle, who batted with real composure for an unbeaten 55 while wickets clattered about him. Credit to the tail, too — a defiant last-wicket flourish of 46 that had Egerton's fielders wondering when the innings would actually end. Not a total to strike fear into anyone, but enough, we hoped, to make them work for it.

Work for it they did. Luke Mangold's 47 was the spine of their reply, and a stubborn 52-run stand for the third wicket undid much of our early promise after we'd had them 8-1 and dreaming. Tobey Castle, having done his bit with the bat, led the attack superbly with 2-23, well supported by Thomas Beeney (2-26) and the ever-tidy Mardey Castle, whose 1-20 and two maidens kept the scoreboard honest. In the end Egerton got there by four wickets, with Aaron Hughes and Thomas Beeney still keeping the season's charts respectable even as this particular Sunday slipped from our grasp.

Not our day, then. Heads up, chins out, and back to the nets — Linton Park lives to fight another weekend.

Sat 01 Jun 2024 🧢 3rd XIv BK Belvedere CC, Kent · HomeformLLWWW

From the captain's chair — Saturday 1st June 2024, and a fine summer's afternoon for it as Belvedere CC of Kent rolled into Linton Park. We lost the toss, they chose to field, and off we went to do the hard yards with the bat first.

123 all out from 37 overs was a scratchy sort of total, held together almost single-handedly by Brandon Eloff, whose 53 was the innings' one shaft of sunlight. Elsewhere the card made for grim reading, with both Altus Diener and Darrell Houghton-Judge back in the pavilion without troubling the scorers. Not our finest hour with the willow, and we knew it.

With the ball, though, we made a proper fight of it. Belvedere were dragged all the way to 126/9 from 37.1 overs — Ahmed Faraj's 30 the backbone, with Davinder Ram (24) and an unbeaten 23 from Harry Sampson keeping them afloat, while Ahmed Yasin joined our own duck club on the way out. Alex Wade was superb, 3-26 the pick of the bowling, with Henry Campbell (2-13, three tidy maidens) and Brandon Eloff (1-4) squeezing the life out of the required rate at the other end. In the end it slipped away by the finest of margins — one wicket — cruel reward for a bowling effort that deserved better.

There was a genuinely proud moment amid the disappointment: Nolan Wilde brought up his 100th appearance in Linton colours, a landmark that puts our narrow defeat rather in perspective. Brandon Eloff and Henry Campbell continue to lead the 3rd XI's run and wicket charts respectively, and rightly so on this evidence.

Verdict: heads up, chins up, back to the nets — this one got away from us, but not for want of trying.

Sat 01 Jun 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Gravesend CC · AwayformLLWWL

We travelled down to Gravesend on a pleasant, cloudy Saturday, and when the coin fell kindly I stuck us in — a decision that looked shrewd for about two hours and rather less shrewd thereafter. Their openers had other ideas, ambling to 97 before the first wicket fell, and though Ian Lowe eventually ran through them with a fine 4-45 (Tim Thirkell and Nick Tromp chipping in with a wicket apiece), Zeaul Karim's well-made 58, backed up by William Cranham's 33 and Neeraj Mendiratta's 29, saw them declare their innings closed at a stiff 206/9 from their forty overs.

Chasing that lot, we never quite found our rhythm. Nick Tromp battled well for 45 and Martin Harris held up an end with an unbeaten 22, but wickets fell steadily around them and we were all out for 143 in the 35th over. Ian Lowe, so heroic with the ball, endured the walk of shame for a duck — the Duck Club ledger duly updated, quacks and all.

Amid the gloom, one small crumb: Tim Thirkell's solitary wicket nudged him past Martin Harris into 9th on the club's all-time wicket-takers list, a achievement that will look better in the record books than it felt in the field. Jordan Austin continues to lead our 2024 run charts on 139, with Lowe top of the wicket pile on 8.

All told, a defeat by 63 runs and not our finest afternoon's work. Heads up, chins forward, and back to the nets — Gravesend have the bragging rights this time, but we'll be sharpening the knives for the return fixture.

Sat 01 Jun 2024 🧢 1st XIv AC Ashford Town CC · HomeformWWWWW

Saturday 01 June, and Ashford Town CC rolled into Linton Park under grey but agreeable skies. I called correctly at the toss and had no hesitation in batting first — a decision I'm rather pleased to take credit for. We wobbled early, losing a wicket with just 1 on the board, the sort of nervy start that has grown men reaching for their tea a little too quickly. But Toby Hughes (66) and George Taylor (56) settled things with a rollicking stand of 134 for the fourth wicket, and Tobey Castle's 42 kept the momentum ticking. Not everyone's day, mind — Harrison Fermor and Alex Keeler both walked back for ducks, and will find their names duly inscribed in the club's least glamorous ledger. Thirty-three extras rounded us out to a handsome 251/8 from 45 overs.

Defending that total, we never really felt threatened. David Foad's 45 and Peter Shields' 37 built an 85-run stand, but the innings folded quickly once it began to unravel — 118/4 becoming 124/7 in a hurry, with Jack Taylor joining the duck club for good measure. Toby Hughes was simply unplayable, spinning to 5-23, backed up by Mardey Castle's 3-15 and a tidy spell of miserly containment from Alex Keeler. Ashford were bowled out for 136.

A comfortable 115-run victory, then, and a fine advert for club cricket — reckless batting collapses aside, this was very much a good day for the club.

Mon 27 May 2024 🧢 Chairman's XIv Linton Park CC · HomeformL

Linton Park CC took to the road on a showery Bank Holiday Monday, and I'll confess I've seen us bat with more conviction. 108 for 8 from our 19.1 overs was scrappy stuff — Nick Pennefather held things together with a battling 25, but at the other end Anthony Karassellos and Neill Pennefather both trudged back for golden ducks, which is never a heartening sight for a captain scanning the scorebook over his tea.

Still, not all was doom and drizzle. Will Thew's unassuming 5 runs quietly nudged him past Paul Brattle and into 25th on the club's all-time run-scorers list — the sort of landmark that gets a nod in the pavilion rather than a fanfare, but a landmark nonetheless. And the season's charts continue to take shape: Nick leads our Chairman's XI runs with 25, while Martin Harris tops the South African XI pile with 24 — early days yet, but the names to watch.

With a target of just 108 to defend, we fancied our chances, and the lads scrapped hard in the field. In the end, though, our hosts got home by 2 wickets — a margin close enough to sting, and to remind us that a total like ours simply doesn't leave much room for error.

All in all, a afternoon that asked more questions of our batting than it answered. We'll dust ourselves down, have a word about application at the crease, and go again next week — better, I hope, for the lesson.

Sun 26 May 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv GC Grenfell CC · HomeformWWLWL

Sunday 26 May dawned pleasantly drizzly — the sort of afternoon that has an Englishman reaching for his cricket bag rather than his umbrella — and with Grenfell CC the visitors, I won the toss and, ever the optimist, put them in. It paid off handsomely for a spell: Martin Harris ran through their order for a superb 4-44, well supported by Mardey Castle (2-55) and Thomas Beeney (1-37), and I even found some rhythm myself with 4 wickets. Simon Stevens and Colin Walton both departed for ducks at our hands. Yet Madhukarreddy Singireddy's classy 62, with Matthew Stevens (42) and Martyn Ware (32) either side of a handsome 86-run second-wicket stand, carried Grenfell to a stiff 243 all out from 39.5 overs.

Chasing that down, we lost an early wicket with the board still reading nought — never the ideal start to a Sunday — before Aaron Hughes and Luke Welsman steadied the ship with a crucial 129-run fourth-wicket stand. Hughes finished unbeaten on a magnificent 87, Welsman made a fine 62, Alex Wade chipped in 32, and even our extras column pitched in a handy 29. Poor Richard Piper took the walk of shame for a duck of his own. We closed on 241/6 from our 40 overs — agonisingly two runs short.

So very nearly there. A match rich in individual class — Aaron Hughes now leads our 2024 Sunday run charts with 101, Thomas Beeney the wickets with 5 — undone by the smallest of margins. Not our day. Heads up, lads, and back to the nets.

Sun 26 May 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv Capel CC, Kent · HomeformWLLWL

Sunday 26 May 2024, home to Capel CC — and for once the toss actually mattered, because I called it right and stuck us in to bat. It didn't feel like an inspired decision as wickets tumbled around us; we were bowled out for 135 in 33.2 overs, with poor Zach Wilde departing for a duck before he'd had time to take guard, metaphorically speaking. But Frank Harbord's 26, backed up nicely by Nick Pennefather's 21 and Ian Lowe's 20, gave us something to bowl at, even if none of us were entirely convinced it would be enough.

As it turned out, we needn't have worried. Zach Wilde, denied with the bat, made emphatic amends with the ball, ripping through Capel's order for 3-16, while Harvey Lowe (2-5) and Alexander Nunn (2-9, with four maidens that gave away nothing whatsoever) squeezed the life out of the innings from the other end. Phil Lander's 23 was the only real resistance; Emma Smith and Oscar Lander both fell for ducks as Capel folded for 73 in 32.4 overs. I even chipped in with 20 of my own, mostly, I suspect, out of professional obligation.

Two points and a 62-run win — thoroughly earned, and a timely reminder that a modest total need never be a losing one, provided the bowlers are in the mood. Nolan Wilde and Zach Wilde continue to loom large in this season's charts, and on this evidence, deservedly so.

Sat 25 May 2024 🧢 3rd XIv Lordswood CC · AwayformLLLWW

From the captain's chair, Saturday 25 May 2024. We rolled up at Lordswood CC in fine spirits, the coin obliged, and I had no hesitation in sending us in.

What a total we posted. Theo Clements and Brandon Eloff both raised fifties — 64 and 52 respectively, each a fine half-century — with Altus Diener chipping in a classy 47 to help us to 245/8 from our 40 overs. The openers set the tone with 89 for the first wicket, and the fourth-wicket pair added a priceless 100 to put the game beyond reasonable doubt, though we did rather spoil the elegance of it all by losing four wickets in a mad scramble from 231 to 241. I contributed nought to proceedings myself with the bat, and the less said about that the better.

Defending 245 is the sort of problem captains dream of, and Lordswood never got near it, bundled out for 78 in 20.5 overs — an early wicket at just 2 setting the tone, and a double strike in the twelfth over finishing the argument. Oliver Allen's unbeaten 24 was the only real resistance. Johan Eloff was superb, 3 for 9, backed up handsomely by John Karassellos (3-30) and Henry Campbell (2-14) — while I rather enjoyed myself too, picking up three wickets to atone for the duck.

A thumping 167-run victory, two points banked, and Brandon Eloff and Henry Campbell continuing to lead the season's run and wicket charts. Thoroughly satisfactory business.

Sat 25 May 2024 🧢 2nd XIv HC Holborough Anchorians CC · HomeformLLLWW

Saturday 25 May dawned overcast and pleasant — good batting weather, we all agreed, right up until we lost the toss and were invited to have a bat anyway. Whether that counts as good weather for batting is a question I shall leave for wiser heads. Holborough Anchorians CC were our guests, and gracious ones, as it turned out.

We limped to 124 all out in 37.5 overs, which sounds worse than it felt and felt worse than it sounds. Jordan Austin's 28 was the innings' backbone, with Richard Piper's 20 lending sturdy support, but the less said about Nick Tromp and Sam King's matching golden ducks the better — a pair of noughts to make the scorebook weep.

With the ball, though, we scrapped. Nolan Wilde was superb, snaring 2-27, and Tim Thirkell and Ian Lowe chipped in with a wicket apiece for 12 and 19 runs respectively. But Ibrahim Khan had other ideas, cruising to a well-made fifty of 60, ably assisted by Danish Hussain's 21, and the Anchorians closed it out at 125/5 in 30.5 overs. My own 17 with the bat was a modest contribution to a losing cause, and beaten by five wickets we duly were.

Jordan Austin continues to lead our 2024 run charts with 128, and Tim Thirkell sits second in the wicket-takers with five — proof there's genuine substance in the side, even on an afternoon like this. Onwards, and better, next week.

Sat 25 May 2024 🧢 1st XIv The Mote CC · AwayformLWWWW

It was one of those tosses that ended before it began — we called wrong, and out at The Mote we were sent in to field. No matter; there's a quiet English satisfaction in bowling first on a fresh pitch, and the lads set about it with real purpose. The Mote were shot out for 107 in 32.1 overs, Harry Demarne's 44 the only real resistance amid a procession of ducks for Ward, Waterson and Williams. Fred Taylor was the chief architect of the collapse with 3-15, Toby Hughes chipped in handsomely with 3-16 (and two maidens as tight as my trouser waistband after tea), while Max Butler picked up a wicket for a fiver. Not a run given away lightly, and not a false stroke unpunished.

That left a target that ought to have been a formality, and if our chase occasionally resembled a Sunday stroll rather than a sprint, we got there in the end — 108/5 from 29.5 overs, with Luke Welsman's unbeaten 30 the backbone and Alex Keeler's undefeated 28 the willing support act. A few nerves crept in, as they always do when the finish line is in sight and the tea urn is calling, but five wickets to spare tells its own story.

Harrison Fermor continues to purr along at the top of the run charts with 197 for the season, and Joshua Knowler leads the wicket-takers with 8 — both men quietly building reputations while the rest of us make the tea. Two points, thoroughly earned, and a very tidy afternoon's work.

Sun 19 May 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv GC Gills Green CC · HomeformWWLLW

Beautiful weather aside — showery, muggy, the sort of afternoon that makes a captain's decision at the toss feel terribly important — I called correctly against Gills Green CC and had no hesitation whatsoever in taking first strike. In hindsight, "no hesitation" may have been the last decisive thing to happen to us with the bat all day. Twenty-five overs and three balls later we were shot out for 52, a total that flattered nobody, with Anthony Karassellos, Nick Pennefather and Zach Wilde each contributing what the scorebook charitably calls a golden nothing 🦆. Three ducks in a card is the sort of statistic a captain reads twice, hoping it changes on the second look. It doesn't.

Out in the field we at least had our moments. Tim Thirkell steamed in for figures of 1-14 and gave the innings some much-needed bite, but 52 was never going to trouble a side with any patience, and Gills Green strolled home on 55/1 in just 13.2 overs. Season-wise, Richard Piper still tops our run charts with 55, and Thirkell now leads the wickets with 6 — small consolations to carry back to the pavilion.

Beaten by nine wickets, then, and no dressing it up as anything else. A afternoon to forget with the bat, but character is built on days like these, and we'll be better for it next week.

Sun 19 May 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv HC Harbledown CC · AwayformLWWLW

From the captain's chair — Sunday 19 May 2024, and the road took us to Harbledown CC on a pleasant, showery afternoon that promised more than it delivered, at least for us.

Losing the toss and being asked to have first use of the ball is rarely the invitation you want, and so it proved. Sudesh Thakur played the innings of the day, an unbeaten 115, with C. Monteith (68) and Gavin Dixon (62) both compiling fine half-centuries either side of him, their 118-run stand for the fourth wicket the platform from which 311/5 was built. Thomas Beeney toiled manfully for his 2-76, with Ian Hollingworth and Alex Wade chipping in a wicket apiece, but 40 overs of that quality of batting will humble most attacks, and ours was no exception.

Chasing 312 was always a tall order, and we made a horror of the start, losing a wicket with just 1 on the board before slipping from 1-1 to 10-4 in the blink of an eye. Alex Wade fought hardest for his 27, but support was thin — Aaron Hughes, Darrell Houghton-Judge and Tom Campbell all contributing golden ducks 🦆 to a collapse that saw us bowled out for 77 in 25.3 overs.

Beaten by 234 runs, then, and no arguing with the margin. Still, Wade tops our Sunday run charts and Beeney leads the wickets — there's craft in this side yet. We'll be better for it next week.

Sat 18 May 2024 🧢 4th XIv DC Detling CC · Awayform—

Saturday 18 May, away to Detling, and the heavens couldn't quite decide whether they were watching cricket or washing the car — a pleasant, wet sort of afternoon that felt entirely fitting for the toss to go against us. Asked to field, we duly obliged, and did rather well out of it: Detling posted 157/7 from their 40, with Gary Knope (38) and Paul Batchelor (32) the main resistance, though the loss of a wicket with just 1 on the board set an appropriately nervous tone for them. James Gray was superb with the ball, 3-19, well backed by Anton Bourdillon (2-28) and Lewis Hunt (1-7), while William Gray strangled the scoring with three maidens. Jim Herron and Simon Clare both walked back for ducks, which I'm told is character-building.

Chasing 158, we made distinctly hard work of straightforward arithmetic, crawling — or possibly careering, it's hard to tell from the boundary — to 160/8 in 34 overs. Theo Clements was magnificent, 82 not out, well past his fifty and the innings' one真 note of calm amid the chaos, aided by a crucial 52-run second-wicket stand. Richard Odling and William Gray both departed for ducks of their own, proving quite the day for the species. Nine byes suggested Theo was having a testing time behind the stumps, and 33 wides and no-balls gifted from our bowling did nothing for the blood pressure.

Still, two wickets to spare and two points banked — scrappy, soggy, and thoroughly ours. A win's a win, and I'm not asking questions.

Sat 18 May 2024 🧢 3rd XIv OC Orpington Ocelots CC · HomeformLLLLW

Saturday 18 May 2024, and Orpington Ocelots were the visitors at Linton Park. I lost the toss, they took first strike, and for a spell it looked ominous — though as it turned out, that was rather more misfortune for them than for us. Henry Campbell simply couldn't be lived with, tearing through the middle order for 4-8 as they slid from 28-1 to 39-4 with alarming haste, Parvez Husain, Shyam Ramadoss and Vamsi Gaddam all shipped out without so much as a run to their names. Ian Lowe (3-26) and young Harvey Lowe (2-6, three maidens, tighter than a Sunday collection plate) mopped up the rest, and Deepak Bhashyam's battling 23 was as good as it got. All out for 98 in 28.3 overs — a score that flattered them, if I'm honest.

Chasing it down should have been a formality, and largely was, Alex Wade batting with real composure for an unbeaten 45, Martin Rivers a fine second fiddle with 21. We did contrive to make things briefly interesting — two wickets tumbling in the 29th over just to keep everyone awake, and eight byes conceded that our man behind the stumps will not be reliving fondly. But 100-2 in 24 overs got the job done, eight wickets in hand.

A thoroughly satisfying afternoon's work, capped by Henry Campbell's continued march up the wicket charts and Brandon Eloff quietly accumulating with the bat. Onwards indeed.

Sat 18 May 2024 🧢 2nd XIv FC Frindsbury CC · AwayformWLLLW

From the captain's chair — Saturday 18 May 2024. We travelled to Frindsbury CC on a pleasant, showery afternoon, and having lost the toss for what felt like the umpteenth time this season, watched our opponents elect to bat. No complaints from me; a bit of drizzle never hurt anyone, least of all a bowling attack in the mood we were in.

Frindsbury made a decent fist of it, posting 178/8 from their 40 overs, with Robert Sait unbeaten on a well-crafted fifty and useful support from Bailey Driver (47) and Akhil Balagopal (35). But our attack kept them honest throughout — Matthew Carter was magnificent, snaring 4-24 with two miserly maidens thrown in for good measure, backed up nicely by Tim Thirkell (2-27) and Tom Campbell (2-28). Not a boundary came easily.

Chasing 179, we made light work of it, racing to 180/4 in just 33 overs. Jordan Austin played the innings of the day with a fine 65, Richard Piper wasn't far behind with a well-made 57, and Will Thew saw us home unbeaten on 23. I contributed a modest 23 of my own — happy to say I did nothing to derail the party. Spare a thought for Matthew Pemberton and Bala Balagopal, both back in the pavilion without troubling the scorers, but on a day like this even the ducks felt forgivable.

A fine win by six wickets, then, and Richard Piper and Matthew Carter continue to lead the way in the season's charts. Onwards.

Sat 18 May 2024 🧢 1st XIv Borstal CC · HomeformWLWWW

Sunday morning arrived on the back of a soaking Saturday, and I'll confess to a flutter of nerves as I called correctly at the toss and stuck Borstal in — the sort of decision that looks either shrewd or senile depending on how the afternoon unfolds. This time, thankfully, it was the former. We prised out an early wicket with the score on a mere 4, only to watch Borstal's middle order steady the ship, with James Whitnell compiling a composed unbeaten 59 and the Tingley brothers, Thomas and Daniel, chipping in with 28 and 26 respectively as their second pair put on a stubborn 68. Fred Taylor was the pick of our attack with 2-16, well backed up by Mark Christmas and Alex Keeler, as Borstal closed on a defendable-looking 176/8.

Defendable, as it turned out, was generous. Harrison Fermor strolled to the crease and simply declined to get out, ushering us to 99/1 before farming the strike all the way to a magnificent 107, supported nobly by Tobey Castle's 22 and, in a modest footnote to proceedings, 22 of my own. Jake Miller, Mohammed Azhar and Matthew Fisher were spared the bother of troubling the scorers, though nobody much minded. We cantered home at 177/2 with overs to spare, Fermor's form this season now bordering on the unfair.

Two points, an eight-wicket win, and a captain who elected to field and, for once, didn't live to regret it. Thoroughly earned, thoroughly enjoyed.

Sun 12 May 2024 🧢 Sunday NVKCv Leeds & Broomfield CC · AwayformWLWWL

As it stands 12 for 2, no wait — Sunday 12 May, away at Leeds & Broomfield, and I'll confess the toss went our way before anything else did.

I won the toss and had no hesitation in bowling — sorry, batting, and I stand by it even now, dressing-room grumbles notwithstanding. It did not entirely go to plan. We were bowled out for 125 in 34.1 overs, a scoreline with rather more drama in the middle than the beginning: 56 for 2 became 60 for 5 in the time it takes to pour a tea, and three of the lads — Mark Christmas, Toby Hughes and Benjamin Austin — will want their ducks kept quiet at the bar afterwards. 🦆 Credit where due to Alex Keeler, whose 34 held the innings together, with Fred Taylor's 28 a fine second act.

With the ball we scrapped, but Leeds & Broomfield made light work of the chase, reaching 126 for 2 in just 19.2 overs. Edward Scrivens sailed past his fifty to finish on 51, well supported by George Davis (34 not out) and James Pope (27 not out), the pair putting on 74 together for the second wicket that rather settled matters. Anthony Karassellos led our attack with 1-31, Fred Taylor chipping in with 1-37, and we did at least prise out two in the tenth over before the tide turned for good. I added a watchful 16 with the bat myself, for what little that's worth.

Beaten by eight wickets, then — no disgrace against batting of that calibre, but plenty to sharpen up. We'll be better for it next week.

Sun 12 May 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv Marden CC, Kent · AwayformWWWLL

Sunday 12th of May took us down the road to Marden, and having called it right at the toss I chose to field — I'll admit that decision was as much about seeing the sun before committing the lads to leather-flinging as it was tactical genius, but right it proved to be.

Marden could muster only 82 all out in 23.5 overs, and it was Zach Wilde who did the real damage — 3 for 8 off his allocation, with two maidens thrown in for good measure, bowling as if the batsmen owed him money. Alexander Nunn (2-15) and Tim Thirkell (2-25) tidied up either end, and between them they gave precious little away. Jim Piper's 33 was the only real resistance Marden could offer. Our top order, meanwhile, endured a torrid afternoon in the field having contributed nothing with the bat before that — James Scade, Seb Harmer and Edward Chapman all back in the hutch without so much as troubling the scorers. Ducks all round, though thankfully not ones that mattered.

Chasing 83, we strolled home to 84 for 2 in 16.4 overs, Alex Wade anchoring things beautifully with an unbeaten 36, Josh Gurney chipping in with 27 not out alongside him. Wade's innings nudges him up to second in the 2nd XI's season run charts, while Thirkell now tops the wicket-takers with five for the summer.

An eight-wicket win, gained with minimum fuss and maximum sunshine. Onwards indeed.

Sat 11 May 2024 🧢 3rd XIv NC New Ash Green CC · AwayformTLLLL

Saturday 11 May 2024, and off we trundled to New Ash Green under skies that couldn't quite make their minds up — warm enough, cloudy enough, proper club cricket weather. We lost the toss, were put in, and set about the serious business of not embarrassing ourselves.

Toby Joseph, unbeaten on 45, was the picture of composure while wickets fell around him, with Glen Rawson (34) and Srikrishna Challa (24) chipping in nicely. Brandon Eloff and Alex Wade both contributed golden ducks to the cause, in the finest traditions of solidarity through suffering. 149/6 from our forty overs felt like a score with something to say for itself.

And so it proved. New Ash Green never got going, subsiding from a wobbly 39-2 to a distinctly shaky 43-5, with Peter Webb, Ryan Harley and Mick Sumner all back in the pavilion without troubling the scorers. Henry Campbell was superb, 4-28, with John Karassellos (4-34) and the ever-miserly Altus Diener (1-9, two maidens) squeezing the life out of proceedings. Elliot Benn's 42 was a lone flicker of resistance. I managed four wickets myself, which I shall mention here and nowhere else for the rest of the year.

All out for 87. A comfortable 62-run victory, Toby now sitting second in our 3rd XI run charts, John top of the wicket pile. A thoroughly good day for the club — the sort that makes the drive home feel shorter than it is.

Sat 11 May 2024 🧢 2nd XIv Sherwood CC, Kent · HomeformWWLLL

Saturday 11 May 2024 dawned warm and grey — the kind of afternoon that promises nothing and delivers everything — as we welcomed Sherwood CC of Kent to Linton Park. I won the toss, which in itself felt like the highlight of the season so far, and had no hesitation whatsoever in sticking us in to bat.

What followed was a genuine treat. We raced to 64 before the first wicket fell, and from there Laurie Probert and Aaron Hughes simply took the game away from the visitors, the pair adding a priceless 150 for the third wicket. Laurie's 81 was the innings of the day, Aaron's 67 ran him close, and Jordan Austin's 35 rounded things off nicely as we closed on a formidable 246/4 from our 40 overs. Tea was taken with rather a spring in the step.

Defending that kind of total ought to be the easy part, and so it proved, if not without the odd wobble to keep hearts fluttering. Sherwood battled to 164/7, with Toby Bonner's unbeaten 34 the best of their resistance, well supported by Danny Demarzo and Kevin Twitchett. Patrick Hemingway, sadly for him, departed for a duck. Tom Campbell was miserly and menacing in equal measure for 1-4, Nick Tromp and Tim Thirkell chipped in either side of him, and Harvey Lowe strangled the middle overs with two maidens. A quiet word too for Tim, whose solitary wicket nudged him past Martin Harris into 9th on the club's all-time list — history made in the margins.

An 82-run win, then, and a thoroughly satisfying one at that. Onwards.

Sat 11 May 2024 🧢 1st XIv SC Sibton Park CC · AwayformWWLWW

We beat Sibton Park CC by 127 runs on a fine Saturday, 11 May 2024, and I'm delighted to report the toss went our way — an easy decision to bat first, though what followed was anything but straightforward.

Toby Hughes led from the front with a fine 47, and while Harrison Fermor (41) and Fred Taylor (41) chipped in handsomely, the middle order rather lost the plot for a spell — 49-2 became 63-5 before we'd had time to put the kettle on. A robust 74-run stand for the sixth wicket dragged us back to respectability and on to 194 all out, though poor Joshua Knowler will want the scorebook's duck symbol quietly redacted. Still, the day's real headline was Toby's — 2,000 career runs for the club is no small thing, and the tea urn was raised in his honour.

If our batting wobbled, our bowling had no such trouble. Sibton Park never recovered from losing their opener at 0-1, and from there it was carnage — 59-6 collapsing to 65-9 as three of their number departed without troubling the scorer. Mark Christmas was the chief destroyer with a superb 4-9, backed up by Knowler (3-20) and Max Butler (2-4), while Alex Keeler strangled the life out of the innings with three maidens. All out for 67 — a rout, frankly.

A fine day for the club all round, and one Toby Hughes in particular will be framing for the mantelpiece.

Sun 05 May 2024 🧢 Sunday 2nd XIv NC Norton Sports CC · AwayformLWWWL

Skipper's Log, 5 May 2024 — Norton Sports CC

Damp afternoon, decent outfield, and I won the toss and stuck us in the field — the right call, I still maintain, whatever the scorebook now suggests. Norton simply batted us off the park. Lewis Mitchell and Anthony Kennard put on twin centuries, 110 not out and 107 respectively, the sort of pitiless, unhurried carnage that makes a fielding captain start rearranging deckchairs, and Paddy Collins chipped in a further 35 for good measure. Tim Thirkell battled away manfully for 3-54, with Daniel Baker (2-28) and Russell Wilde (2-53) offering support, but 310/7 from 40 overs was always going to take some chasing.

Chase it we did not. We subsided to 114 all out in 35.4 overs, a collapse enlivened only by Richard Piper's gutsy 49 not out and Nolan Wilde's 31 — the rest of the order came and went like guests who'd remembered a prior engagement, with Magnus Boxer, Sam King and Daniel Baker all departing for ducks. Poor Glen Rawson had a torrid time behind the stumps, 16 byes finding their way past him on a pitch that clearly had ideas of its own. I managed 31 myself, for what little consolation that's worth.

A chastening 196-run defeat, then, and no dressing it up. Heads up, chins high, and back to the nets — Norton were simply too good for us this Sunday.

Sun 05 May 2024 🧢 Sunday 1st XIv SC Smarden CC · HomeformWLWWL

I called correctly at the toss on a pleasant, damp Sunday afternoon, and there was never much doubt what I'd do with it — into the field we went, ball in hand, against a visiting Smarden CC side.

For a while it all threatened to go swimmingly for them, with 22 on the board for the loss of just one, but then the wheels came off in a hurry: 22-1 became 30-4 before Smarden knew what had hit them, and they never really recovered, eventually subsiding to 106/8 from their 40 overs. Sam Leggis top-scored gamely with 22, but it was our attack that stole the afternoon — Sam Boyns bowling beautifully for 3-21, Thomas Beeney miserly as you like with 2-12 and four maidens, and Ian Hollingworth chipping in with 2-35. A proper team effort with the ball, and precisely the sort of collapse we like to induce rather than suffer.

Chasing 107 should have been a formality, and while we made harder work of it than the scorecard perhaps deserved, we got there with overs and wickets to spare, five down from 33.3 overs. Jordan Austin led the way with a fine 28, and I'm rather chuffed to say I matched him with 28 of my own — though poor Josh Gurney will want this report kept well away from any prying eyes, contributing a golden duck to proceedings.

Two points, thoroughly earned, and a five-wicket win to make the drive home feel considerably shorter than the drive there.

Sat 04 May 2024 🧢 1st XIv SC Staplehurst CC · AwayformWWWLW

Saturday 4 May, and off we trundled to Staplehurst for what turned into rather a nervy afternoon of cricket. Winning the toss, I had precisely no doubts about batting first — a decision that looked reasonably shrewd once we'd posted 198/8 from our 45 overs. Harrison Fermor was the mainstay with a well-crafted 46, Mark Christmas chipped in with 34, and Joshua Knowler finished unbeaten on 28. Poor Nick Pennefather, though, will want this report kept well away from the family scrapbook after his golden duck.

Defending 198 is never a stroll, and Staplehurst made us sweat for every one of it. Graham Ward played a proper captain's innings of his own — 55 of real quality — with James Rodway (49 not out) and Sam McConnel (36) keeping the required rate ticking uncomfortably close. But Joshua Knowler, not content with his runs, turned matchwinner with the ball, snaring 4-26, backed up superbly by Anthony Karassellos (3-45, with two tidy maidens thrown in for good measure) and Alex Keeler (2-35). Three Staplehurst batsmen — Hunter, Martin and Knapp — departed without troubling the scorers.

A word too for Jordan Austin, who brought up his 300th appearance in Linton colours — a magnificent innings of loyalty in itself. In the end we squeaked home by 5 runs, hearts firmly in mouths. A proper old-fashioned nail-biter, and thoroughly deserved: a very good day for the club.

Sat 27 Apr 2024 🧢 3rd XIv YC Yalding CC · AwayformDTLLL

Beaten by 13 runs at Yalding, but there's honest cricket in that scoreline. Won the toss, had a rare rush of tactical boldness and stuck them in — and for a while it looked the shrewdest call I've made all season.

Lynne Balderstone back in the hutch without troubling the scorers set the tone, and Alex Holt was magnificent with the new ball, 2-9 as tidy as you like. Brandon Eloff (2-12) and Zach Wilde (1-9) chipped away either end, and restricting Yalding to 100/8 from their 25 overs felt like a job well done. Cue much self-congratulatory tea-interval chat about "putting on a clinic."

Then we batted. 87/7 from our 25 overs told its own story — a chase that never quite found its rhythm, though Brandon Eloff again stood tallest, unbeaten on 33 and doing more with the bat than most of us managed all afternoon. The Duck Club, alas, welcomed two new members: David Day and Jonathan Sisley both walked back for nought, joining Lynne Balderstone in that most exclusive and unwanted of clubs.

Up the season table Brandon Eloff continues his quiet takeover — top of the 2024 3rd XI run charts on 55 and now second among the wicket-takers too, which raises the question of why the rest of us bother turning up at all.

Thirteen runs short in the end, and no disgrace in it. We defended well, batted poorly, and left Yalding wiser if not happier. Onwards.

Sun 21 Apr 2024 🧢 Friendly XIv Addington Village CC · AwayformLWDLW

From the captain's chair — Sunday 21 April 2024. We travelled to Addington Village CC, and for once the toss went our way; I had no hesitation in putting us in.

What followed was as fine a batting display as this ledger has recorded in some time. We racked up 224/6 from our 35 overs, built almost entirely around Benjamin Austin's magnificent 93 not out — an innings of real substance, well supported by Aaron Hughes (44) and Jordan Austin (35). Fittingly, it was also the innings in which Benjamin brought up 5,000 career runs for the club, a landmark thoroughly deserved and warmly applauded all round. Not every tale was so glorious, mind — Neill Pennefather's duck will be filed under the usual heading in the Duck Club ledger, and he knows exactly where to find it.

With the ball, we kept our discipline throughout. The opposition battled to 162/6, Jackson Todman playing the innings of the day with 76, backed by James Miller (32) and Rob Goss (23 not out), but they were always behind the required rate. Nick Pennefather was superb, 2-8 from three tidy maidens, with Nolan Wilde (2-26) and Luke Welsman (1-4) chipping in, and Tom Goss departed for another Duck Club entry.

A 62-run win, then, and a thoroughly good day for the club — Benjamin's runs and Nick's wickets currently topping our Friendly XI charts for the season. More of the same, please, lads.

Sat 20 Apr 2024 🧢 3rd XIv BC Brasted Chart and Toys Hill CC · AwayformWDTLL

Skipper's Log — Saturday 20 April 2024, away at Brasted Chart and Toys Hill.

Lost the toss, asked to field first — never the news you want with the tea urn barely warm, but there we were, trudging out regardless. Batting second on a ground not our own, we scratched our way to 147/9 from 40 overs, Harvey Lowe playing the anchor role beautifully for 40, with Brandon Eloff chipping in a handy 22. For a while it looked respectable, until the middle order decided to conduct a mass exodus between 108 and 114 — five wickets down became eight in the blink of an eye. Special mention, as tradition demands, to Thomas Mundell, who contributed a golden duck 🦆 to the collective effort — these things happen to the best of us, Thomas, chin up.

With the ball, we simply couldn't apply the squeeze. Their openers laid a firm platform of 60 for the first wicket, and from there Will Gilder (38 not out) and Jon Garrard (38 not out) batted us out of it in fine style, with Andrew Philip's 28 doing plenty of the early damage. Altus Diener was our shining light, miserly with two maidens and finishing with 2-11, ably supported by John Karassellos's 1-34, but it wasn't enough to arrest the chase, which closed at 148/3 in 30.2 overs.

Seven wickets the final margin, and no arguing with it. Not our day — heads up, back to the nets, and on to the next one.