🦆 The Duck Pond

A quiet week for the hunters, but Linton Park's 1st XI still found room for one moment of ceremonial nothingness away… well, at home, against Hastings & St Leonards Priory CC. 🏏 1st XI (home) Dave Todd departed at number five, caught Geoff Lawson, bowled Geoff Collins, contributing his customary nought to the cause. It's his 3rd duck of the season and 3rd of his career from 12 innings, tucking him in at 151st of 1080 in the all-time standings — the exclusive zero club welcomes him back like an old regular. On this very day back in 1964, Robert Murray, who turned out for Linton between 1958 and 1965 and racked up 17 ducks along the way, good for 39th all-time, also strolled back for nought against Linton Park CC. Some anniversaries are best not marked with bat in hand, Dave. 📊 Week in Summary One match, one duck — the fowl were evidently keeping their heads well down this week. Still, consistency of a very particular kind never takes a day off, and every nought moves the tally on. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Nigel Thirkell — 5 ducks, 40 innings, 12.5% - Trevor Back — 4 ducks, 11 innings, 36.36% - Matt Large — 4 ducks, 16 innings, 25.0% - Allan Cooper — 3 ducks, 11 innings, 27.27% - Dave Todd — 3 ducks, 11 innings, 27.27% Dave Todd's fresh addition draws him level with Allan Cooper at the foot of the podium — the battle for Duck of the Year is very much alive. Roll on the next fixture, when the ducks will no doubt come home to roost once more. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A lean week for the exclusive zero club — three matches played, and the ducks mostly gave Linton Park the slip. Only one soul was inducted into the art of not scoring this time round, but it's a quality entry. 1st XI v Anchorians CC Matt Large, walking in at number 8, was undone lbw to A Siveyer — a tidy, unfussy dismissal for a man who does not do things by halves in this department. It's his 4th duck of the season and the 7th of an increasingly storied career, moving him to 28 innings played and a lofty 91st of 1080 in the all-time table. Matt is a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from way back, and quietly haunts three more top-10 boards — Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck — while sitting agonisingly one position short of a Full House, having now failed to score from 10 of the 11 batting slots. Only number 11 stands between him and true immortality. Splendidly, the calendar has form here too — on this very day back in 1958, club legend Stan Wratten also strolled back for nought, against Tilling Steven no less. Wratten, who graced Linton from 1943 to 1984, finished with 35 career ducks and sits 14th of 1080 all-time, a proud member of the Quacking Together honours alongside John Ames. Matt keeps good company across the decades. The other two fixtures passed off in disappointingly fowl-free fashion — no additions to report, which either means good batting or a shortage of quality opening bowling. We'll assume the former. Week in summary One duck from three matches is a quiet return by Duck Club standards — consistency of a very particular kind, just not the kind we usually celebrate here. Still, Matt Large has done his bit to keep the season ticking over nicely. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 1. Nigel Thirkell — 5 ducks, 39 innings (12.82%) 2. Trevor Back — 4 ducks, 11 innings (36.36%) 3. Matt Large — 4 ducks, 15 innings (26.67%) 4. Allan Cooper — 3 ducks, 11 innings (27.27%) 5. Simon Thirkell — 3 ducks, 11 innings (27.27%) Trevor Back's strike rate of failure remains genuinely heroic — over a third of his innings end in nought, triumph through adversity indeed. Next fixture looms, and with it, no doubt, fresh candidates for the honours board. Pads on, guard taken, fingers crossed 🏏🍩0️⃣

A quiet week in the paddock. Three fixtures on the go and the Club could only tempt a single soul into the exclusive zero club. Consistency, it seems, took the weekend off. 1st XI Home to Mad Hatters on Sunday, a-Hayzelton provided the round's lone offering, undone at first drop and sent back bowled a-E- Robertson. It's the fledgling first duck of his LPCC career, arriving from just 5 innings and lodging him at 499th of 1080 in the all-time standings — plenty of company still to overtake. Neatly, the calendar obliged with a spot of history: on this very day in 1977, none other than club great Tim Thirkell also trudged off for nought, against St Just CC. Thirkell went on to finish with 56 ducks for the Club, good enough for 4th on the all-time roll of dishonour, a Duck of the Year winner, and a fixture on the Full House, Lone Duck and Homebody Duck top tens besides. Fine company to keep, even in defeat. Elsewhere The other two matches of the period passed off entirely duck-free — every batsman troubling the scorers, however modestly. Whether that's good form or simply bad luck for the Duck Club is a matter of perspective. Week in Summary - Matches played: 3 - Ducks recorded: 1 - A rare week where the hunters returned home with barely a feather to show for it. The pond will refill soon enough. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 1. Nigel Thirkell — 5 ducks / 37 innings (13.51%) 2. Trevor Back — 4 ducks / 10 innings (40.0%) 3. Allan Cooper — 3 ducks / 10 innings (30.0%) 4. Simon Thirkell — 3 ducks / 10 innings (30.0%) 5. Jim Hall — 3 ducks / 13 innings (23.08%) Trevor Back's 40% strike rate remains the standout act of self-sabotage this season — four ducks from just ten trips to the crease is triumph through adversity of the very highest order. 🍩 Onwards to the next fixture, where the art of not scoring will surely find fresh volunteers. Bats at the ready, gentlemen — the ducks are watching. 0️⃣🏏

The touring party rolled into Cornwall for a two-match sojourn against Mullion CC, and true to tourist form the exclusive zero club found two willing new subscribers on day one. The second fixture, remarkably, passed off with the bat behaving itself throughout — more on that anomaly below. 🏏 Tour XI v Mullion CC (away) Nigel Thirkell strode out at first drop and departed shortly after, bowled by White, for his 5th duck of the summer. That takes him to a formidable 38 for his LPCC career — 11th on the all-time leaderboard of 1,079 duck-collectors — and keeps his grip firmly on the 1986 Duck of the Year crown, a title he's not about to relinquish lightly. Add in his standing among the Tourist Duck top 10 and this was very much business as usual on foreign soil. Ducking, it should be noted, rather runs in the family: father John sits on 90 career noughts, brother Tim on 56, brother Simon on 17 — a Thirkell dynasty built on the art of not scoring. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1980, Allan Cooper also trudged off for nought against Staplehurst CC, en route to 36 career ducks and a spot at number 12 in the all-time list. Piers McDonald, at seven, edged behind — caught by White off the bowling of Baker — for his 2nd duck of the season and, with career and season tallies matching, his 2nd in senior cricket from just 9 innings. He joins the Lone Duck top 10 and, fresh off the same away trip, the Tourist Duck top 10 too. And as with his teammate, history rhymed rather than repeated: the same 1980 date that undid Allan Cooper against Staplehurst also proved the last word for many a Linton man over the years — Piers now keeps that particular anniversary good company. 📅 Week in Summary Two matches on tour, two ducks, both falling in the same innings at Mullion — a tidy hunting ground for the Duck Club, if nowhere else. The follow-up fixture, by contrast, was a strictly vegan affair: all XI got off the mark, a rare and faintly suspicious outbreak of competence from a touring squad usually so reliable for noughts. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Nigel Thirkell — 35 inns, 5 ducks (14.3%) - Trevor Back — 9 inns, 4 ducks (44.4%) - Simon Thirkell — 9 inns, 3 ducks (33.3%) - Allan Cooper — 10 inns, 3 ducks (30.0%) - Jim Hall — 12 inns, 3 ducks (25.0%) Nigel leads the chase in some style, with brother Simon lurking ominously in third — a family photo finish for 1986 honours is not out of the question. 🥇0️⃣ Next fixture beckons, and with it, no doubt, fresh recruits to the club. We watch. We wait. We celebrate. 🦆🍩

Down on tour and far from home comforts, the Duck Club still found time to set up stall in the West Country, with four ducks harvested across two matches against Falmouth CC and Helston CC. Thursday 28th — v Falmouth CC Opening the innings and opening the tour account, David Castle departed for nought, caught Paul Stephens bowled Keith Meneer. His third duck of the season lifts him to 7 for his LPCC career — 88th of 1079 all time from 51 innings — and keeps him snug in the Tourist Duck top 10, a club within a club for those who can't resist laying an egg on the road. On this very day in 1974, Roland Parr was doing much the same against Gravesend CC. Friday 29th — v Helston CC A tail-end collapse of genuinely ceremonial proportions saw three wickets fall for three ducks in a single innings. Piers McDonald (No.7) went first, caught P Holloway bowled J Bain, for his maiden LPCC duck — 1st of the season and 1st of his career from just 7 innings, straight into 439th of 1079 on the all-time list. A brand new member of both the Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top 10s. Richard Ashby (No.8) followed, bowled C Stubbs, his 27th career duck (23rd of 1079 all time, from 214 innings) and, with a nod to the Ducks in a Row board, his fifth consecutive innings without troubling the scorers. Consistency of a very particular kind. Simon Thirkell (No.9) completed the set, also bowled C Stubbs, his third duck of the season and 17th of a career now standing at 66 innings (40th of 1079). Simon sits proudly in the 50 Before a 50 club (59 ducks against a top score of just 48) and was Duck of the Year back in 1983 — hardly a surprise given the surname, with father John (90 career ducks), brothers Tim (56) and Nigel (37), and cousin Stuart (1) all paid-up Duck Club royalty in their own right. Fittingly, all three Helston victims share the same echo down the years: Stan Wratten, who made his own duck on this date in 1954 against D Hambrook XI, on his way to 35 career ducks and 14th spot on the all-time board. 📊 Week in Summary Four matches on tour, four ducks, the lot falling across just two innings — including a triple strike in the Helston tail. No pairs and no family affairs this week, just honest toil in the Cornish sun. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Trevor Back — 4 ducks, 9 innings (44.4%) 2. Nigel Thirkell — 4 ducks, 33 innings (12.1%) 3. Simon Thirkell — 3 ducks, 8 innings (37.5%) 4. Allan Cooper — 3 ducks, 10 innings (30.0%) 5. Jim Hall — 3 ducks, 12 innings (25.0%) Simon Thirkell's tour exploits keep him within striking distance of the summit — can he run down Trevor Back before the season's out? 🦆 The tour rolls on and home fixtures loom soon after — plenty more scope for the ducks to follow. See you all at the crease. 0️⃣

A modest but perfectly formed harvest this week: three ducks from three matches, and the exclusive zero club welcomes its members with the usual mix of ceremony and sympathy. 🏏 Saturday — 1st XI at Whitstable CC A grim afternoon on the road saw Linton lose two men without troubling the scorer. Nigel Thirkell, in at three, was bowled by R Mills for his 4th duck of the season and 37th of a long and storied career — 11th on the all-time list from 562 innings. With the season stamped 1986, Nigel currently sits proud atop the Duck of the Year 1986 standings, a crown he will no doubt defend jealously. On this very day in 1969, Percy Brattle (1934–1973) also fell for nought against Mote A, his 16th of an eventual tally of the same number — Nigel walks in fine company. Moments later Jim Hall, at six, edged behind for his 3rd of the season and a startling 65th career duck — good enough for 2nd on the all-time roll from 414 innings. Jim too echoes Percy Brattle's 1969 nought. And with Nigel dismissed alongside him, the two also share the club's Only Two Quacks honour between them — a fitting frame for a joint collapse this weekend. Nigel's duck-hunting is rather a family trade — father John Thirkell tops the entire club's all-time list on 90, brothers Tim (56) and Simon (16) hardly innocent either. The apple, and indeed the duck, rarely falls far from the tree. 🌙 Midweek XI at Gravesend CC Trevor Back was bowled by Spencer Nye for his 4th duck of the season, taking him to 26 for his career — 25th on the all-time list from 190 innings. On this day back in 1944, W Bunting made a duck of his own against KCC Maidstone, the 5th of his eventual haul. Trevor's season is shaping up to be a vintage one for all the wrong reasons. 📊 Week in Summary Three matches, three ducks, no repeat offenders and no family affairs this week — just honest, solitary failure, evenly spread across the club. Whitstable claimed a brace in one innings, Gravesend settled for a single scalp. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Trevor Back — 4 ducks / 9 innings (44.4%) - Nigel Thirkell — 4 ducks / 30 innings (13.3%) - Allan Cooper — 3 ducks / 9 innings (33.3%) - Matt Large — 3 ducks / 10 innings (30.0%) - Jim Hall — 3 ducks / 12 innings (25.0%) Trevor leads on ruthless efficiency, Nigel on sheer volume — the race for 1986 Duck of the Year is far from settled. Next fixture awaits. Pads on, guard taken, and the zero club stands ready to welcome its newest members. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Four ducks laid across three fixtures this week, with the exclusive zero club welcoming two fresh entries and reshuffling the season's leaderboard nicely into a proper scrap. Saturday 9th — Headcorn CC (away) Nigel Thirkell fell in fine company, caught M- Watson bowled Ali Lee at first wicket down — his 3rd duck of the 1986 season and 36th of an extraordinary career, good enough for 12th on the club's all-time roll of dishonour (of 1079). Nigel currently holds the Duck of the Year 1986 crown and is a fixture of the Homebody and Tourist Duck top tens, half of the "Only Two Quacks" double act with Jim Hall — on this very day in 1964, his own father John Thirkell (1943–1977, still the club's all-time record holder with 90) was doing exactly the same thing, albeit against Harrietsham CC rather than Headcorn. Dave Todd joined him in the pavilion soon after, caught and bowled by Dave Harden at number 7. It's his 2nd duck of the season and, remarkably, his 2nd in senior cricket full stop — from just 9 innings, a start to a career the honours board will be watching closely. Like Nigel, Dave shares his moment with John Thirkell's 1964 vintage. Sunday/Monday — Benenden CC (away) The Thirkell name struck twice in as many days. Simon Thirkell joined the queue at Benenden, caught and bowled by M- Oldaker for his 2nd duck of the season and 16th of his career — a fully paid-up member of the 50 Before a 50 club (59 ducks projected against a top score of 48) and a former Duck of the Year himself back in 1983. Simon's departure echoed one from 1958, when Roy Clarke made a duck on this same date against Harrietsham CC. Allan Cooper kept him company, run out for nought at number 8 — his 3rd of the season, and 36th for his career, drawing him level with brother-in-arms Nigel Thirkell near the very top of the all-time table, 11th to Nigel's 12th. Allan is a serial pair-maker on the honours board, sharing "Only Two Quacks" billing with no fewer than three club stalwarts — Jim Hall, Jon Harris and Trevor Back. Like Simon, he shares his date with Roy Clarke's 1958 effort. Week in summary: four ducks from three matches, split evenly between Headcorn and Benenden, with the Thirkell dynasty responsible for half the week's tally between brothers Nigel and Simon — sons of the legendary John Thirkell, evidently keeping it in the family. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Trevor Back — 3 ducks, 7 innings (42.86%) - Allan Cooper — 3 ducks, 9 innings (33.33%) - Matt Large — 3 ducks, 10 innings (30.00%) - Paul Gibson — 3 ducks, 24 innings (12.50%) - Nigel Thirkell — 3 ducks, 27 innings (11.11%) Five players locked on three apiece — the tightest Duck of the Year race in years, and Nigel's crown is anything but safe. Roll on the next fixture, when the honours board will doubtless need updating all over again. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A single fixture on the books this week, and — brace yourselves — not a single duck fell to it. Eleven Linton batsmen, one solitary match, and every last one of them got off the mark. The exclusive zero club held no inductions, no re-elections, and not so much as a golden nick to report. It happens. Even the most reliable poultry farm has the odd barren week, and this was one of them. The art of not scoring is, apparently, a fickle mistress — she simply didn't fancy Linton Park on the 2nd of August. Somewhere, a scorer sat with pencil poised and nothing whatsoever to underline. Do not mistake this for good news. A quiet week for the Duck Club merely means the drought is loading — statistically, someone is due, and due soon. Sharpen your pencils. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard — 1986 With the harvest empty this week, the season standings are undisturbed at the top, and it remains a fiercely contested table: - Trevor Back — 3 ducks in 6 innings (50%) — a coin-flip every time he walks out, and not the kind you want to call correctly - Matt Large — 3 ducks in 9 innings (33.33%) — closing the gap on Back with alarming consistency - Paul Gibson — 3 ducks in 22 innings (13.64%) — proof that volume, not just misfortune, gets you noticed - J- Milloy — 2 ducks in 2 innings (100%) — a perfect, flawless, faintly terrifying record. Every single visit to the crease has ended in nought. Truly a purist - Allan Cooper — 2 ducks in 8 innings (25%) — quietly building a season to remember, for all the wrong reasons Trevor Back leads the chase for Duck of the Year, but with J- Milloy running a perfect 100% strike rate, nobody in this table should be feeling comfortable. That's the lot for this period — a rare and quiet week in the annals of Linton ignominy. Normal service, we're reliably informed, resumes next match. Keep your bats loose and your expectations lower still. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A quiet weekend at the crease, ducklings — and not in a good way. Two fixtures were played across the period and, remarkably, not a single Linton batsman could be persuaded into the exclusive zero club. Eleven-plus players a side, two full innings' worth of opportunity, and the Duck Club's talent scouts came home empty-handed. Even Trevor Back, Matt Large and Paul Gibson — who between them have made rather a habit of it this season — apparently found something better to do than walk back for nought. Make no mistake, this is not a triumph. A weekend without ducks is a weekend without theatre, without ceremony, without the quiet dignity of a batsman shouldering arms to history. The art of not scoring is a discipline, and discipline requires practice. Someone let the standards slip. Still, the season is young, the fixture list is long, and the ducks — like the swallows — will surely return. Until then, we salute the current pace-setters and wait, as ever, for the next collapse worthy of the honours board. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 Trevor Back — 3 ducks / 6 innings (50%) 🥈 Matt Large — 3 ducks / 9 innings (33.3%) 🥉 Paul Gibson — 3 ducks / 21 innings (14.3%) 4️⃣ J- Milloy — 2 ducks / 2 innings (100% — a poultry perfect record) 5️⃣ Allan Cooper — 2 ducks / 8 innings (25%) Special mention to J- Milloy, whose 100% strike rate for failure remains untouched — two innings, two nothings, nowhere to hide. That's your lot for this period, Duck Club faithful. Thin pickings this time round, but the next fixture is never far away, and neither is the next tickle down leg side. Pads on, bats up, and may fortune desert someone spectacularly very soon. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A quiet week for the exclusive zero club, but not a silent one. Of three fixtures played in the period, two came and went without a single nought to report — thoroughly vegan affairs, both of them. It fell to the Midweek XI, at home to Leigh On Sea CC on the 23rd, to keep the honours board ticking over. Midweek XI v Leigh On Sea CC Keith Hatcher got the ball rolling at number two, bowled by J- Gregory for his very first LPCC duck — 20 innings into his Linton career before the zero finally caught up with him. That's rank 407 of 1079 in the all-time table of infamy, a debut entry to build on. Neatly enough, on this very day back in 1960, Brian Relf was doing precisely the same thing against Tovil — the opening chapter of a career that ran to a mighty 25 ducks between 1950 and 1971, complete with a Debutante Duck, a Quack-to-Quack farewell, and a standing Quacking Together partnership with Terry Whittaker. Keith has some catching up to do, but every dynasty starts somewhere. He didn't have to wait long for company. In at number eight, Dennis Salisbury was undone by T- Parker for his 4th career duck in just 10 innings — a startlingly efficient rate of failure that lands him at 125th of 1079 all-time. Same fixture, same fate, and the same calendar echo as Keith — Brian Relf's lot really did set the template back in 1960. Week in Summary Two ducks from three matches, both bowled, both from the same Midweek XI innings against Leigh On Sea — proof, if any were needed, that misfortune enjoys company. The rest of the club's batsmen kept their heads down and their bats employed. A tidy little haul rather than a bumper one, but the Duck Club doesn't do quiet weeks for long. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Trevor Back — 6 innings, 3 ducks, 50% - Matt Large — 9 innings, 3 ducks, 33.33% - Paul Gibson — 20 innings, 3 ducks, 15% - J- Milloy — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100% - Allan Cooper — 8 innings, 2 ducks, 25% Trevor Back holds top spot for now, but with J- Milloy running a flawless 100% strike rate from just two knocks, this season's crown is very much still up for grabs. 🏏 Next fixtures loom, and with them, the inevitable fresh crop of naught-scorers. The zero club never sleeps — see you all back here next week. 🦆🍩

Three matches on the go this week and, in truest Duck Club tradition, only one man was prepared to answer the call. Slim pickings, but quality over quantity, as ever. Midweek XI Away at Gravesend CC on Wednesday, Trevor Back strode out at number six and departed rather more briskly than he arrived, caught Peter Preston bowled Pete Best for a duck that will not trouble the golden duck registrar — he got bat on ball, just not to any useful effect. It's his 3rd of the season and his 25th for the club overall, lifting him to 28th in the all-time standings out of 1079 hopefuls, a position he guards jealously as a fixture of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens alike — home or away, city or country lane, Trevor finds a way. He remains paired for posterity in Only Two Quacks with Allan Cooper and in Quacking Together with Jon Harris, honours earned in campaigns past rather than this one. Spookily, on this very day back in 1960, Gordon Fenner — a Linton stalwart from 1941 to 1973 and still 15th on the all-time list with 34 to his name — also fell for nought, against Rumwood CC. The duck, it seems, respects a calendar. Week in Summary One duck from three matches is a lean return even by Duck Club standards — perhaps everyone else was simply too busy scoring runs to qualify. Still, Trevor's effort keeps him top of the pile as the season hunt intensifies. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Trevor Back — 6 innings, 3 ducks, 50% - Matt Large — 8 innings, 3 ducks, 37.5% - Paul Gibson — 19 innings, 3 ducks, 15.79% - J- Milloy — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100% - Allan Cooper — 8 innings, 2 ducks, 25% Trevor holds the lead but Matt Large and Paul Gibson are lurking, and J- Milloy's perfect record from just two innings suggests a rare talent for arriving and departing in one seamless motion. Roll on the next fixture — someone has to keep the honours board busy. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A tidy little away day at Reeds Aylesford for the 1st XI, and the exclusive zero club welcomed three new entries in the very same innings. Consistency of a very particular kind. 🏏 1st XI at Reeds Aylesford Trevor Back went first, caught G Wood off the bowling of Michael Beeney at number three. It's his 2nd duck of the season and 24th of a Linton career now 186 innings deep, keeping him at a lofty 29th in the all-time table — a man who turns up regularly on the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top 10s, and has standing dishonours-board entries alongside both Allan Cooper and Jon Harris. He now sits level on 24 with 1943–1978 stalwart Dick Langridge. Spookily, this very calendar date in 1968 saw Paul Bowles (1965–1986, 44 ducks, 7th all-time) also walk back for nought, against Charles Arkcoll — quacks echoing down the decades. Next to fall was Mike Elworthy, run out in a mix-up at number four for his 1st duck of the season and 10th of his career, from 89 innings — good enough for 65th on the all-time list and a season ticket on the Tourist Duck top 10. He joins Trevor in this week's on-this-day company, Paul Bowles having done exactly the same thing on 6th July, eighteen years earlier. And Michael Beeney wasn't done — he returned to bowl Nigel Thirkell at six, a second Linton scalp without a run conceded. It's Nigel's 2nd duck of the season and a serious 35th of his career from 549 innings, good for 13th all-time, and with 1986 already ticked off on his Duck of the Year board he's clearly the man to beat this summer. He's also a fixture on the Homebody and Tourist Duck top 10s and shares Only Two Quacks honours with Jim Hall. Something of a family trade, too — father John Thirkell carries 90 career ducks of his own, with siblings Tim (56) and Simon (15) not far behind, and cousin Stuart making up the numbers on 1. A proper duck dynasty. Nigel's own on-this-day twin remains Paul Bowles, 1968. 📊 Week in Summary One match, three ducks, and Michael Beeney doing more damage with the ball than the scorebook usually allows — two of Reeds Aylesford's three scalps came off his bowling alone. The art of not scoring was very much in season. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Matt Large — 3 ducks, 8 innings, 37.5% - Paul Gibson — 3 ducks, 18 innings, 16.67% - J- Milloy — 2 ducks, 2 innings, 100% - Trevor Back — 2 ducks, 5 innings, 40% - Jim Hall — 2 ducks, 7 innings, 28.57% J- Milloy sits on a flawless duck rate that will take some shifting, but with Nigel Thirkell already carrying the Duck of the Year 1986 crown into midsummer, the race is very much alive. 🦆 Same time next fixture — the ducks are never far away. Bring your bat, and perhaps consider leaving it in the shed.

Three fixtures went ahead across the week, but the Duck Hunting Season proved a lean hunting ground — just the one brace of noughts to log, and they came from the very same over of the very same bowler. Efficient, if nothing else. 🏏 1st XI v Meopham CC (away, 28 June) David Castle departed at number four, caught R- Woodbridge off P- Lamb, for his 2nd duck of the season and 6th of an LPCC career now standing at 40 innings — good enough (or bad enough) for 95th on the all-time list, and another sighting for a man already installed in the Tourist Duck top 10 for his globe-trotting collection of away-ground noughts. On this very day back in 1975, Phil Hickman (1973–1975, 8 career ducks) was doing much the same thing against Tilling Steven — the calendar has a long memory. One ball later in the order, Tim Thirkell joined him in the pavilion, also caught off P- Lamb, this time via M- Dobson's gloves. His 1st duck of the campaign is the 56th of a mighty career spanning 463 innings, keeping him a lofty 4th in the all-time standings — behind only the true immortals of the club. Tim's honours board reads like a small novel: Duck of the Year 1972, the Ducks on the Road and Homebody Duck top tens, a Full House (a duck at every position, 1 to 11, a genuinely unsettling achievement), and a Quacking Together pairing with Jim Hall. He also carries the family gene rather well — father John Thirkell tops the entire club on 90, while siblings Nigel (34) and Simon (15) keep it in the blood. Like David, Tim finds himself sharing this exact date in history with Phil Hickman's 1975 effort. Two Thirkell-and-Castle wickets, one hapless bowling figure for P- Lamb, and Meopham will not remember this one fondly. 📋 Week in Summary Two ducks from three matches is hardly a bumper harvest, but there is something pleasingly tidy about both arriving in the same innings, to the same bowler, in successive deliveries. Elsewhere the ducks evidently evaded capture entirely — a rare weekend of restraint from the rest of the club. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Matt Large — 3 ducks / 8 innings (37.5%) - Paul Gibson — 3 ducks / 18 innings (16.67%) - J- Milloy — 2 ducks / 2 innings (100%) - Jim Hall — 2 ducks / 7 innings (28.57%) - Allan Cooper — 2 ducks / 8 innings (25%) J- Milloy's flawless 100% record remains the standard the rest of the field can only dream of failing to match. That's the lot for this period, but with fixtures continuing thick and fast the Duck Club never stays quiet for long. See you at the crease — or, more likely, back in the pavilion — next week. 🦆🍩

Five matches on the fixture list this week and the Duck Club came away with a healthy haul of seven, spread across four separate afternoons of quiet suffering. A vintage week for consistency of a very particular kind. Sunday 22nd — Dimanchians CC (h) Spencer Nye did his level best to single-handedly restock the club's larder. David Castle went first, trapped at number two, b Spencer Nye — his maiden duck of the season and 5th of a career now 37 innings long, good enough for 106th on the all-time list and a place among the Tourist Duck top 10. On this very day back in 1935, Percy Brattle (1934–1973, 16 ducks, Duck of the Year 1969) was enduring the identical fate against Bearsted CC. In walked Paul Gibson, and out went Paul Gibson — c Mike Stapley b Spencer Nye, the same bowler claiming a second scalp inside minutes. His third of the season lifts him to 9 career ducks from 72 innings, 74th all time, and he shares his day-in-history nod with Castle: the same Percy Brattle, still going strong at Bearsted forty years earlier. Tuesday 24th — Maidstone Teachers (h) Jim Hall fell early, b - Hughes — the first half of a story we'll return to. Matt Large followed, b A West, his 3rd duck of the season from just 7 innings (a startling 43%) and 6th for his career, joining the Debutante Duck club and taking up residence in three separate top-10 honours boards for good measure. J- Milloy completed the innings collapse, b - Holliday, his 2nd of the season and 2nd of his career from only 10 knocks. Both Large and Milloy find historical company in Ian Brattle, who ducked on this same day in 1975 against Leybourne CC en route to 17 career ducks and a spot on "50 Before a 50." Wednesday 25th — Sevenoaks & District Wednesday CC (a), Midweek XI Jim Hall returned to the crease less than 48 hours after his last failure and promptly repeated the trick, c a- Dean b a- Bond. A grim pair for the week — Tuesday and Wednesday both settled without troubling the scorer — and it takes him to 2 season ducks and a mighty 64 for his career, second on the all-time list behind only the legendary John Thirkell. Jim's honours cabinet is groaning already: three-time Duck of the Year (1970, 1977, 1985), Lone Duck top 10, Homebody Duck top 10, and multiple "Quacking Together" partnerships. On this day in 1978, Malcolm Pay was similarly employed against Marden CC, Kent, on his way to 26. Friday 27th — Boughton Monchelsea CC (a) Bob Lines closed out the week, b Dave Knight at number two — his first duck of the season and 3rd for his career from 75 innings, 145th all time. A name that runs in the family too: kin David Lines already carries 4 career ducks of his own. On this day in 1936, E Godden made a duck against Bearsted CC on his way to the 1936 Duck of the Year title. Week in summary Seven ducks from five matches, and Jim Hall doing more than his fair share of the heavy lifting with a pair inside three days. Spencer Nye's opening burst against the Dimanchians and the Maidstone Teachers triple-strike were the standout moments of collective ignominy. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Matt Large — 7 inns, 3 ducks, 42.86% - Paul Gibson — 17 inns, 3 ducks, 17.65% - J- Milloy — 2 inns, 2 ducks, 100% - Allan Cooper — 7 inns, 2 ducks, 28.57% - Jim Hall — 7 inns, 2 ducks, 28.57% The season rolls on and the club stands ready to welcome its next inductees. See you at the next fixture — someone's got to keep the tally moving. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A rare and faintly troubling weekend for the Duck Club faithful: two matches played across Saturday and Sunday, and not a single nought to show for it. Every batsman who walked to the crease at Linton Park this week had the bad manners to actually trouble the scorers. The exclusive zero club, so reliably populated in recent weeks, finds itself with no new inductees, no honours board entries, no milestones ticked over, and no father-and-son near misses to report. Even the umpires, one imagines, were left standing about with nothing to signal. A place of dubious distinction, this weekend, dubiously distinctionless. We shan't pretend this is anything other than a disappointment. The art of not scoring is a proud Linton tradition, and for one weekend it appears to have taken a well-earned rest. Whether this represents a genuine improvement in application at the crease, or merely a temporary and no doubt corrected aberration, only next weekend will tell. Rest assured, the committee views this drought with the gravest suspicion. Somewhere out there a batsman is surely due. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard — 1986 1. Alan Boyns — 5 innings, 2 ducks (40%) 2. Allan Cooper — 6 innings, 2 ducks (33.33%) 3. Matt Large — 6 innings, 2 ducks (33.33%) 4. Paul Gibson — 12 innings, 2 ducks (16.67%) 5. J- Milloy — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) — a flawless start to a fledgling career in futility, should he choose to build on it. Alan Boyns leads the way at a commanding 40%, with Allan Cooper and Matt Large locked together on identical figures — a proper tussle for Duck of the Year brewing, should either of them oblige with a third. Fear not, members — the season is young and Linton Park's batsmen have a long and storied history of finding new and inventive ways to depart without scoring. Normal service, we trust, will resume at the very next opportunity. Pads on, cameras ready, and here's hoping the next fixture delivers the naught we've all been waiting for. 🦆 0️⃣ 🏏

A slender but perfectly formed week for the exclusive zero club: three ducks from four fixtures, every single one contributed by a loyal 1st XI intent on proving that turning up is only half the battle. Sunday 8 June — Sheldwich CC (away) The Sheldwich trip produced a rare synchronised failure, with two Linton batsmen visiting the middle and returning inside the same spell, both accounted for by Brian Beale. Trevor Back went first, lbw to Beale for his 1st duck of the season and 23rd of an increasingly distinguished career, sliding into 32nd spot of 1072 in the all-time table. Trevor's name already adorns the honours boards for Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, plus a standing Quacking Together arrangement with Jon Harris and an Only Two Quacks pact with Allan Cooper — the latter, pleasingly, among this week's top-five duck hunters in his own right. Moments later Alan Boyns joined him at the pavilion gate, caught behind off the very same bowler for his 1st duck of the season and career, a tally of 1 that ranks him a modest 182nd of 1072. Both men can console themselves with history: on this very day in 1970, one Ron Hickman was doing much the same thing against Boughton Monchelsea CC, en route to 30 career ducks and 18th place on the all-time list. The tradition of a Sheldwich-week failure runs deep at Linton. But Alan, it turns out, wasn't finished yet. Tuesday 10 June — Hollingbourne CC (home) Alan Boyns returned two days later and promptly repeated the trick, bowled by Alan Ovenden without troubling the scorers — his 2nd duck of the season and career in the space of a week, a proper pair for the ages and a startling 40% duck rate from just five innings. History obliges again: Robert Wood made a duck on this same calendar day back in 1961 against Tovil, one of 21 in a career that also began, fittingly, with a Debutante Duck of his own. 📋 Week in Summary Four matches, three ducks, and the entire haul claimed by the 1st XI — the 2nd, 3rd and 4th XIs evidently kept their heads down and their bats straight. Special mention to Alan Boyns for turning one ordinary week into a personal pair, the purest form of consistency the Duck Club has to offer. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Alan Boyns — 5 innings, 2 ducks, 40.0% - Allan Cooper — 5 innings, 2 ducks, 40.0% - Matt Large — 6 innings, 2 ducks, 33.33% - Paul Gibson — 11 innings, 2 ducks, 18.18% - J- Milloy — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100.0% Four names locked together at the summit as the season heats up — plenty of time yet for someone to make a decisive break for daylight, or indeed for the pavilion. Same time next week, ducks: bring your friends. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Just the one fixture on the books this time out, but Staplehurst CC turned up at Linton Park with intent, and by the close three Linton names had been ushered into the exclusive zero club before the tea urn had even boiled. 🏏 1st XI v Staplehurst CC (home) First to go was Paul Gibson, bowled by Anthony West at number four. It's Paul's 2nd duck of the season and his 8th career nought from 64 innings, nudging him to 82nd of 1072 in the all-time table — good, honest, mid-table consistency of a very particular kind. Spookily, on this very day back in 1973, Terry Donovan (1959–1963... sorry, 1959–1979) was doing exactly the same thing against Newport Fugitives, eventually retiring on 18 career ducks. The art of not scoring, it seems, has no calendar preference. Then Ian Pullen got to work, and got to work twice. First victim: Allan Cooper, bowled for nought at seven, his 2nd of the season and a hefty 35th of his career — a genuinely storied all-time rank of 12th of 1072, and a paid-up member of the "Only Two Quacks" club no fewer than three times over, alongside Jim Hall, Jon Harris and Trevor Back. Fittingly, Cooper's parallel takes us back exactly two years to this same date in 1984, when none other than today's own Paul Gibson made his own duck against West Farleigh CC. Two years on, Gibson's still at it — and he's brought company. That company arrived one place further down the order, as Matt Large fell to Pullen too, bowled for a second-successive duck of the season and his 5th in just 17 career innings, a lively 29% strike rate for the wrong kind of milestone. Matt is already a fixture on several honours boards — a Debutante Duck from his very first innings, and a name lurking in the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, plus a cruel one-position-short entry in the Full House nearly-man club (10 of 11 positions managed, alas). Like Cooper, his parallel points straight back to Gibson's 1984 effort — a neat little thread running through today's whole lower order. 📅 Week in Summary One match, three ducks, and a lower-middle order that rather fell over itself — Cooper and Large back-to-back victims of the same Ian Pullen spell, with Gibson's own 1984 history quietly haunting both of their parallels. Staplehurst will go home well pleased with a day's work; the Duck Club, naturally, is thrilled. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Allan Cooper — 2 ducks / 4 innings (50%) - Matt Large — 2 ducks / 4 innings (50%) - Paul Gibson — 2 ducks / 9 innings (22.2%) - J- Milloy — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) - Dave Todd — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) Cooper and Large sit level at the summit, with Gibson breathing down their necks. Plenty of season left for the standings to shuffle again — the next fixture waits for no one, and neither, it seems, does Ian Pullen's outswinger. 🦆🍩

Four fixtures this week and four fresh names added to the exclusive zero club — a lighter haul than usual, but each one a story in its own right. Sunday 25th — NVKC v Shipbourne CC Batting at 11, Matt Large duly obliged the scorers with nothing, bowled B Hart. His fourth career duck moves him to 131st on the all-time list from 16 innings, and edges him closer to a grim personal landmark — a "Full House nearly-man" with a blob already logged at 10 of the 11 batting positions. On this very day in 1970, Frank Brattle (1937–1971, 38 ducks, 10th all-time) was likewise sent packing for nought against Bearsted. Monday 26th — 1st XI v XII Men Ian Webb, at six, fell bowled to John Hartridge for his first duck of the campaign, his 11th career effort and good enough for 55th all-time from 104 innings. A paid-up Debutante Duck member from his very first knock, Ian also carries the family trait — kinsman Ken Webb owns 3 career ducks of his own. Back in 1957, on this same date, Cliff Anscombe, later that year's Duck of the Year, was likewise walking back for nought. Wednesday 28th — Midweek XI v Burghill & Tillington CC A costly middle order for the Midweek side. Sean Cook, stumped off D Sparrow, opened his season account with his 13th career duck, a striking rate from just 31 innings good for 48th all-time. One place later, Jon Harris fell bowled to A Price for his own first of 1986. No ordinary nought, this — Jon's 61st career duck keeps him a mighty 3rd on the all-time leaderboard, Full House completed, and three Duck of the Year titles (1976, 1980, 1981) already on the shelf. Son Richard Harris is a member too, with 36 career ducks — clearly hereditary. Sean and Jon share a footnote: on this same day in 1928, twice Duck of the Year Bert Buckoke also fell for nought against Bearsted. Week in summary Four matches, four ducks, no pairs and no family doubles this time — the Harris and Webb dynasties will have to wait for a joint entry. The Midweek XI alone supplied half the week's tally. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. J- Milloy — 1 duck / 1 inns (100%) 2. Sean Cook — 1 duck / 1 inns (100%) 3. Dave Todd — 1 duck / 2 inns (50%) 3. David Iliffe — 1 duck / 2 inns (50%) 3. Simon Thirkell — 1 duck / 2 inns (50%) Early days at the top of the table, and with fixtures rolling on there's every chance of a new name gate-crashing the podium. Pads on, guard taken — see you all next time out. 🦆

Two fixtures in the diary this weekend and the ducks, in their infinite wisdom, decided to save themselves entirely for one game. Saturday's outing escaped clean — not a single nought to its name — but Sunday's trip to Battle CC more than made up for it, with the Exclusive Zero Club welcoming four new entries in a single innings. Consistency of a very particular kind. 🏏 1st XI away at Battle CC (18 May) The middle and lower order took it in turns to demonstrate the art of not scoring. Paul Gibson, in at 3, was bowled by M- Scollay for his 1st duck of the season and 7th of his career — he now sits 89th of 1071 in the all-time roll of dishonour. Curiously, on this very day back in 1957, William Blight (1953–1963, 10 ducks, 65th all-time) was doing exactly the same thing against Gore Court CC. Some anniversaries just find you. At number 7, J- Milloy opened his season's account and his career one in the same stroke, bowled by Tony Macniven-Young for his maiden LPCC duck from just 9 innings — 392nd of 1071 and climbing fast. He too shares his calendar date with old William Blight, who clearly had a busy 18th of May throughout the 1950s. Simon Thirkell followed at 8, caught Holland bowled Macniven-Young, his 15th career duck from 60 innings and 42nd all-time — a fully paid-up member of the "50 Before a 50" board (59 ducks, high score 48) and a former Duck of the Year (1983). A name that runs in the family, too — the Thirkell clan between them account for well over 150 career ducks, though today's contribution was Simon's alone. And yes, William Blight was there again in 1957, still haunting this date. Allan Cooper rounded things off at 9, lbw to Macniven-Young, his 34th career duck and a lofty 13th of 1071 all-time — a veteran of no fewer than three "Only Two Quacks" pairings, with Jim Hall, Jon Harris and Trevor Back all sharing that particular honour. Him too, William Blight got there first, in 1957, against Gore Court CC. At this point Blight deserves a testimonial. 📊 Week in Summary 4 ducks from 2 matches, every single one of them clustered into the middle-to-lower order at Battle CC, and every single one shadowed by the ghost of William Blight's 1957 vintage. Saturday's side, meanwhile, batted through entirely unblemished — heroic, or simply lucky. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Dave Todd — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) - David Iliffe — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) - J- Milloy — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) - Allan Cooper — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) - Simon Thirkell — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) Three players sitting on a perfect 100% duck rate is either a statistical blip or a worrying trend — the club awaits further data with bated breath. Next fixture looms, and with it, fresh opportunities for the top order to join the party. The Zero Club never closes. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A curious weekend at Linton Park. Two fixtures played, elevens duly sent out to bat, and yet — nothing. Not a single duck to report from either match. The exclusive zero club held no induction ceremony this week; the ducks, it seems, evaded capture entirely. Whether this is due to some uncharacteristic outbreak of competence at the crease, or simply a below-par effort from opposition bowlers, the record does not say. Either way, the honours board gathers dust for another week, and the club's most dedicated triers of the art of not scoring will have to wait for their next opportunity to add to the ledger. Rest assured, normal service is expected to resume shortly. The duck does not stay hidden for long at Linton Park. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇🍩 1. Dave Todd — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 1. David Iliffe — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 3. Nigel Thirkell — 4 innings, 1 duck (25%) Early doors in the 1986 season standings, with Dave Todd and David Iliffe both making an emphatic — if not entirely welcome — start to their duck-hunting campaigns at a flawless strike rate. Nigel Thirkell keeps a more modest pace but is very much still in the hunt. See you at the next fixture, where the ducks will surely be back on the menu. 🦆🏏0️⃣

The 1986 campaign gets off the mark for the 1st XI, who supplied all three of this weekend's ducks across two fixtures. The exclusive zero club welcomes its latest inductees below. 🏏 Saturday 3rd May — Bidborough CC (away) Dave Todd walked in at number 7 and walked straight back out again, bowled by R Stedman without troubling the scorers. It's his first duck of the season and — in only his second senior innings — his very first for the club, straight in at 323rd of 1070 on the all-time list. On this exact day back in 1959, Tony Tipples was performing the same ceremony against Harrietsham CC, en route to 7 career ducks across his 1952–1961 stint, good for 90th all-time. A fine bit of historical company for a maiden entry. 🏏 Sunday 4th May — Sandwich Town CC (home) Nigel Thirkell, in at first drop, was trapped lbw by Colin Aldred for his 1st duck of the season and 34th of a remarkable career now spanning 534 innings — 14th of 1070 all-time. He already wears the Duck of the Year 1986 crown on the honours board, so treat this as early proof he means business. A fixture of both the Tourist and Homebody top-10s, and one half of "Only Two Quacks" with Jim Hall, Nigel also ducks in fine family company — kin to club legend John Thirkell (90, the all-time number one) and siblings Tim (55) and Simon (14). On this very day in 1969, Stan Wratten was doing likewise against Bobbing Court CC, on his way to 35 career ducks and 12th all-time. Further down the order, David Iliffe was bowled by A Williamson at number 7 — his 1st duck of the season and 29th overall from 131 innings, good for 21st of 1070. A veteran of the Duck of the Year 1982 board and once "Quacked by Kin" courtesy of relative Mike Iliffe that same year, David keeps the tradition alive — Mike himself sits on 43 career ducks. He shares Nigel's Stan Wratten parallel too: same day, same opposition, 17 years apart. 📊 Week in Summary Three ducks from two matches, all courtesy of the 1st XI, and two of them from the same Sandwich Town innings — the bowlers of Kent earning an early season bow. A modest but promising start to the 1986 Duck Hunting Season. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Dave Todd — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - David Iliffe — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Nigel Thirkell — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) Early doors yet, gentlemen — plenty of season left for the standings to shuffle. See you all at the crease next weekend, where the art of not scoring continues. 🦆🍩0️⃣