🦆 The Duck Pond

The final weekend of September delivered a modest but perfectly formed haul: three ducks from four fixtures, each one added with due ceremony to the club's ledger of dubious distinction. 1st XI Sunday at M.Large saw Alan Boyns depart at number 2, bowled by "Unsure", for his 1st duck of the season. It's his 17th career nought from 174 innings, good enough for 51st on the all-time list, and keeps him a paid-up member of the Diamond Duck board from way back in 1990. Curiously, on this very day in 1952, one Ray Tippen was doing exactly the same thing against Linton Park CC — four ducks across a career that ran 1949 to 1955, and a Retirement Duck alumnus to boot. History, as ever, repeats. 2nd XI Away at Hunton Wanderers, the top order took the brunt of it. Opener Mike Elworthy fell early, bowled by Gavin Day, for his 4th duck of the season and 26th of a long and storied career — 257 innings deep and sitting 32nd all-time, with a place on the Tourist Duck top 10 for his trouble. At number 5, Richard Ellis followed him back, bowled by Dave Leppard, his 3rd of the season and 11th overall from just 45 innings — a healthy strike rate in this particular discipline. Richard remains one of the select few to carry the Debutante Duck and Quack-to-Quack boards, having opened his account with a nought all those years ago — standing honours, not fresh news, but worth a nod all the same. Both fell on the same calendar date that, back in 1964, saw Robert Murray of the 1958-1965 vintage do precisely likewise against Linton Park CC — 17 career ducks and 53rd on the all-time list. Some things never change. Week in Summary Four matches, three ducks, and not a single pair or family affair to report — a quiet weekend by Duck Club standards, more a light drizzle than a downpour. The zero club welcomes its latest inductees regardless. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🏆 1. Piers McDonald — 6 ducks / 42 inns (14.3%) 2. Mike Elworthy — 4 ducks / 26 inns (15.4%) 3. David Castle — 4 ducks / 39 inns (10.3%) 4. Adrian Caddick — 3 ducks / 12 inns (25.0%) 5. Adam Pooley — 3 ducks / 14 inns (21.4%) Elworthy's latest addition keeps him snapping at Piers McDonald's heels for the season crown — one more nought and he's level at the top. As the season winds towards its close, who'll sneak onto the honours board before stumps are drawn for winter? We'll be watching. We'll be counting. 🦆

Six ducks fell across four fixtures this week as the season edges toward its close, with familiar names and famous surnames both adding to the pile. Saturday 20th — Borden CC (away) The 2ns did brisk business at Borden. Daniel Thirkell, latest scion of the club's most prolific duck-laying dynasty (kin John, Tim, Nigel, Simon and Stuart Thirkell own 241 career noughts between them), was caught behind off Stuart Blackbourn for his 2nd of the season and 7th career duck from 64 innings — 107th of all 1225 names ever recorded, and level in the calendar with Eddie Lawrence, who made his own on this very date back in 1959. David Lines followed at nine, caught off Richard Truelove for his maiden season duck and 6th career one from a brisk 14 innings. He's a paid-up Retirement Duck club member from some past farewell, though nobody's suggesting he's done yet. He too joins Eddie Lawrence's 20 September 1959 club. Adrian Caddick completed the set, bowled by Truelove for his 3rd of the season and 12th career duck, a tally shared with the legendary Bert Buckoke (1928–1953). Adrian's season strike-rate of 27.27% is the sharpest in this week's top five 🍩 — and with sibling Mike Caddick already sat on 7, futility clearly runs in the blood. Sunday 21st — Anchorians CC (home) The 1st XI offered two for the honours board. Matt Large fell at number two for his 3rd of the season, his 56th career duck moving him to 5th of all 1225 — a card already stacked with Duck of the Year honours from 1987, '88, '89, '92, '93 and '95, plus top-ten places on Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck. On this very day in 1958, Stan Wratten was doing much the same. Stuart Cheesman went two overs later, bowled for his 2nd of the season and 24th career duck — level with Dick Langridge (1943–1978). Stuart's Full House and Debutante Duck honours are long since banked, and with Fred Cheesman on 32 career ducks and sibling Steve on 13, the family name keeps this ledger well fed. He shares Stan Wratten's 1958 date too. Wednesday 24th — Penshurst Park CC (away) The Midweek XI's lone contribution came from Mike Elworthy, bowled for his 3rd of the season and 25th career duck — level with Cliff Anscombe (1957–1975) and 35th on the all-time list. On this day in 1989, Piers McDonald, who already holds this season's Duck of the Year crown, was doing exactly the same. Week in summary Six ducks, four matches, one fixture that stayed conspicuously fowl-free. Borden took the lion's share with three in a single innings, and the Thirkell and Cheesman clans both reminded everyone that a taste for nought tends to run in families. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Piers McDonald — 42 inns, 6 ducks (14.29%) 2. David Castle — 37 inns, 4 ducks (10.81%) 3. Adrian Caddick — 11 inns, 3 ducks (27.27%) 4. Adam Pooley — 14 inns, 3 ducks (21.43%) 5. Fred Cheesman — 15 inns, 3 ducks (20.0%) The season's nearly out, but there's still time for one more name to sneak onto the board. See you at the next fixture — bat, and luck, permitting. 🦆🏏

A curiously quiet weekend for the exclusive zero club — three fixtures on the go, and only one man brave enough to accept membership. Triumph through adversity was thin on the ground, but where it landed, it landed with pedigree. 🏏 1st XI — Northend Sunday Coming in at six, Nigel Thirkell departed c R Swaisland b N Taylor for the weekend's lone duck. It's his 2nd of the season and a hefty 51st of an illustrious career spanning 945 innings — good enough for 7th place in the all-time table of 1225 duck-collectors, rarefied air by any measure. Nigel is a former Duck of the Year (1986), a fixture of the Homebody Duck top 10, a card-carrying member of the Tourist Duck elite, and shares an Only Two Quacks entry with Jim Hall — a résumé of failure most club stalwarts would frame. And it runs in the blood: John, Tim, Simon, Daniel and Stuart Thirkell all hold career ducks of their own, making this very much a family trade practised down the generations. Splendidly, on this very date in 1958, Stan Wratten also strolled back for nought — against Tunbridge Wells CC, no less — on his way to a career total of 35, good for 18th all-time. The calendar, it seems, has a long memory for these things. 📋 Week in Summary Elsewhere the rest of the club kept remarkably clean sheets — the 2nd, 3rd and other sides let the ducks slip through the net entirely. One duck from three matches is a lean return for the hunting season, but the tally ticks forward all the same, and there's still time yet for the collection plate to fill up. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🥇 1. Piers McDonald — 40 inn, 6 ducks (15.0%) 2. David Castle — 36 inn, 4 ducks (11.11%) 3. Adam Pooley — 13 inn, 3 ducks (23.08%) 3. Fred Cheesman — 13 inn, 3 ducks (23.08%) 5. Ian Brattle — 7 inn, 2 ducks (28.57%) With the season entering its final stretch, the race for Duck of the Year is far from settled. Pads on, gentlemen — the honours board has room for fresh nominations next weekend. 🦆0️⃣

A quiet week down at Linton Park, and not in the way the Duck Club likes to celebrate quiet. Three fixtures came and went between the 6th and the 10th, and — brace yourselves — not a single nought was troubled into existence. Eleven batsmen per side, three times over, and every last one of them found the wherewithal to get off the mark. Whether through genuine improvement, blind luck, or simply not being seen by whoever keeps the book, the exclusive zero club gained not one new entry this week. It happens. Even the art of not scoring has its off weeks. The bowlers, presumably, are furious. Spare a thought for the regulars on the leaderboard below, several of whom will have spent the weekend nervously eyeing the fixture list, wondering when their next opportunity for glorious failure will present itself. Fear not, gentlemen — the season isn't over yet, and Linton Park has never gone two weeks without paying its respects to the duck. 🏏 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1997 🏏 🥇 Piers McDonald — 6 ducks in 38 innings (15.79%) 🥈 David Castle — 4 ducks in 35 innings (11.43%) 🥉 Adam Pooley — 3 ducks in 12 innings (25.00%) 🍩 Fred Cheesman — 3 ducks in 12 innings (25.00%) 0️⃣ Ian Brattle — 2 ducks in 7 innings (28.57%) Piers McDonald sits proudly atop the pile, though Adam Pooley and Ian Brattle's frankly alarming duck rates suggest either of them could close the gap in a hurry given the chance. Consistency of a very particular kind, gentlemen. So there we are — a rare week of triumph over adversity for the Linton batting line-up, and a quiet one for this correspondent. Normal service, we trust, will resume shortly. Get down to the next fixture, take guard, and give the Duck Club something to write home about. 🦆 Until next time — may your ducks be golden and your king pairs plentiful.

A rare and troubling silence descends upon Linton Park this week. One solitary fixture took to the field on the 5th of September, and — brace yourselves — not a single duck was laid. Eleven-a-side, bat after bat, and the entire Duck Club roll of honour left entirely untroubled. The zero club, for once, recorded a big fat nothing of its own, which is either deeply ironic or exactly the kind of self-referential joke the ducks would engineer if they had a sense of humour. Somewhere out there, an entire batting line-up got off the mark, ran quick singles, middled a few, and generally behaved like the game was meant to be played. Frankly, unacceptable levels of competence. The correspondent has checked twice. There is no golden duck to salute, no pair to mourn, no family bloodline to induct into the honours board this week, and certainly no King Pair to canonise. The ducks, it seems, took the weekend off. One suspects they'll be back with interest. Let this serve as a reminder to the current chasing pack — Piers, David, Adam, Fred and Ian below — that quiet weeks like this one are precisely how leads get built without anyone noticing. Sneak a nought in while the world isn't watching and you could leapfrog the lot of them by next Saturday. 🍩 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🍩 1. Piers McDonald — 6 ducks from 36 innings (16.67%) 2. David Castle — 4 ducks from 33 innings (12.12%) 3. Adam Pooley — 3 ducks from 11 innings (27.27%) — the purest strike rate in the field 4. Fred Cheesman — 3 ducks from 12 innings (25.0%) 5. Ian Brattle — 2 ducks from 7 innings (28.57%) — quietly the most efficient collector of the lot Piers holds a narrow but commanding lead at the top, with Adam and Ian both boasting duck rates that would make the leader nervous if they had a few more innings under their belts. Plenty of season left for a late surge. 🏏 Onwards to the next fixture, then — where normal service, i.e. the dreaded nought, will surely resume. The ducks are only ever one dropped catch or one rash swipe away. Bat carefully out there. Or don't. We're always watching either way. 🦆 0️⃣ 🏏

A quieter week for the exclusive zero club, but four names still queued up for membership renewal across the club's fixtures, home and abroad. The tourists in Cornwall did their bit for the cause too. Saturday 23 August — 2nd XI v Marden (home) - Paul Bowles fell at first drop, bowled J- Kent, for his 2nd duck of the season and 54th of an epic Linton career — he sits at 6th of 1225 in the all-time table, a rarefied neighbourhood indeed. A two-time Duck of the Year (1966, 1968) and permanent fixture of the Ducks on the Road top 10, Paul finds history repeating itself: on this very day in 1981, Brian Piper (1973–1997, 20 ducks) also trudged off against Old Anchorians CC. - Adam Pooley followed him back not long after, lbw to S- Andrews at six, his 3rd of the season and 9th career duck from just 31 innings — a startling strike rate that already has him at 84th of 1225. Fittingly, the honours board has long since bound the pair together as "Only Two Quacks (with Adam Pooley / Paul Bowles)" — a partnership gloriously reaffirmed this very innings, both back in the shed inside the same session. Adam, too, echoes 1981's Brian Piper on this day. Thursday 28 August — Tour XI v Truro CC (away) - Fred Cheesman, touring in style, was bowled by Martin Phillips at five for his 3rd duck of the season and 32nd of his career, good enough for 22nd of 1225 all time. A Full House member (a duck at every position, no less), two-time Duck of the Year (1990, 1991) and Tourist Duck top 10 regular, Fred proves the noughts travel just as well as the runs don't. On this day in 1996, Daniel Thirkell also made a duck, against 1st Innings Mullion. A chip off a well-quacked block too — sons Stuart (23) and Steve (13) are handsomely represented in the Duck Club ledgers. - Last man Darren Styles rounded off the innings, bowled Stephen Heayn, for his 2nd duck of the season and 2nd of his career from 50 innings — 235th of 1225 and climbing. He shares Fred's echo of Daniel Thirkell's 1996 duck against Mullion. Week in summary Four ducks from four fixtures — the other two matches went entirely fowl-free, which the correspondent finds almost suspicious. Both casualties came in pairs, with the 2nd XI doubling up at home and the touring party matching them stroke for stroke down in Cornwall. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Piers McDonald — 6 ducks, 35 innings (17.14%) - David Castle — 4 ducks, 33 innings (12.12%) - Adam Pooley — 3 ducks, 11 innings (27.27%) - Fred Cheesman — 3 ducks, 12 innings (25.0%) - Ian Brattle — 2 ducks, 7 innings (28.57%) Piers McDonald leads the chase, but with Adam Pooley and Ian Brattle both boasting duck rates north of a quarter, the race for Duck of the Year is far from settled. Next fixture, same invitation: middle stump, first ball, and a place in history awaits. 🦆🍩

A quiet weekend on the poultry front. Three matches, and the ducks only found their way to two batsmen — the rest of Linton apparently too busy actually scoring to trouble this column. 🏏 Saturday 16 August 2nd XI away to Addington Village CC delivered the weekend's first casualty. Darren Styles, in at first drop, was caught and bowled by Jim Paulett — the bowler doing his own fielding, sparing nobody the walk of shame. After 47 innings of quietly avoiding the dreaded nought, Darren finally opens his account: 1 for the season, 1 for the career. Welcome to the club, officially. Fittingly, on this very day in 1953, John Ames — one of Linton's most decorated quackers, 49 ducks to his name and 8th in the all-time charts — was also sent back for nought, against Mote A. Not bad company to share a calendar date with, 44 years apart. 🏏 Sunday 17 August 1st XI travelled to Whitstable CC and found Clive Newman at number 2, trapped lbw by Lorne Hart. It's Clive's second duck of the campaign, nudging him to 9 for the club from 164 innings, a solid 85th of 1225 in the all-time standings — the art of not scoring is clearly a discipline he's committed to studying. On this day in 1969, Percy Brattle — a Linton stalwart from 1934 to 1973, 16 ducks to his name, ranked 54th all-time, and Duck of the Year that very season — also departed for nought, against Mote A. History, as ever, repeats itself in the most unscoring of ways. 📋 Week in Summary Two ducks from three matches is about as restrained as the exclusive zero club gets — no pairs, no king pairs, and certainly no family affairs to report this week. A place of dubious distinction, kept refreshingly uncrowded for once. Don't get comfortable — the season isn't over yet. 🦆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🦆 1. Piers McDonald — 6 ducks / 34 innings (17.65%) 2. David Castle — 4 ducks / 31 innings (12.9%) 3. Ian Brattle — 2 ducks / 7 innings (28.57%) 4. Phil Randall — 2 ducks / 8 innings (25.0%) 5. Adrian Caddick — 2 ducks / 9 innings (22.22%) Piers holds firm at the summit, but with percentages like Ian Brattle's lurking down the order, this race is far from settled. Next fixture, same story — someone's number will be up. See you all out there, and may the umpire's finger find you swiftly. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Five matches across the week, five ducks laid — and the 1st XI's trip to Mersham Le Hatch alone supplied a hat-trick of noughts. The exclusive zero club welcomes its latest inductees. 🏏 1st XI — Mersham Le Hatch (away) A torrid middle order for Linton. David Castle fell to A Childs, a 4th duck of the season and a startling 28th of his career from 465 innings — 28th in the all-time table and a paid-up member of the Tourist Duck top 10. On this very day back in 1964, club great John Thirkell (1943–1977, 90 ducks, still #1 of 1225 all time) also made a duck — Castle keeps fine historical company. Same bowler, same fate for Jim Hall — only his 1st duck of the season, but a monumental 73rd of his career, 3rd on the all-time list from 466 innings. Hall's honours board reads like a roll of honour in itself: three Duck of the Year titles (1970, 1977, 1985), Full House nearly-man, Lone Duck and Homebody Duck top 10, and five separate pairings across Quacking Together and Only Two Quacks. A genuine club institution of not scoring. Completing the set at 11, Ian Brattle was bowled by Peter Carman for his 2nd of the season and 40th career duck — 12th all time from just 119 innings. A paid-up member of the "50 Before a 50" club (51 ducks banked against a highest score of just 33), plus Ducks in a Row (7 consecutive) and Only Two Quacks with Michael Beeney. His sibling Paul Brattle carries 26 career ducks of his own — clearly a family trait. Thirkell's 1964 shadow falls over Ian too, 33 years to the day. 🏏 2nd XI — Higham & Mockbeggar (away) Adam Pooley was run out for his 2nd duck of the season and 8th of his career from 29 innings — 90th all time. A double Only Two Quacks member (with Fred Cheesman and with Paul Bowles) and a Retirement Duck club veteran from a past farewell. Thirkell, naturally, was there in 1964 too. 🌙 Midweek XI — Selsdon (home) Phil Randall departed to Ken Shivmangal for his 2nd duck of the season and, notably, only his 2nd career duck too — still finding his feet in the zero club from just 17 innings, 284th all time. On this very day in 1964, John Thirkell fell against Bowaters CC — the great man simply everywhere this week. 📋 The Week in Nought Five ducks from five matches, three of them arriving in a single spell at Mersham Le Hatch. No pairs, no king pairs, no family affairs this week — just honest, workmanlike failure spread across three sides. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Piers McDonald — 6 ducks / 32 inns (18.75%) 2. David Castle — 4 ducks / 30 inns (13.33%) 3. Ian Brattle — 2 ducks / 7 inns (28.57%) 4. Adrian Caddick — 2 ducks / 8 inns (25.0%) 5. Phil Randall — 2 ducks / 8 inns (25.0%) Next fixtures await, and the bowlers will no doubt keep the honours board busy. Bring your bat, gentlemen — or don't. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Four fixtures took to the field this week and the Duck Club banked four fresh entries in the book — a tidy, if modest, harvest. 🏏 1st XI — home to Maidstone YMCA CC Peter Whyte departed at four, stumped off the bowling of P- Ecclestone — a duck by the less common route. His first of the season and 17th of a career now 204 innings deep, good for 51st on the all-time list. On this very day in 1952, Gordon Fenner (1941–1973, 34 ducks, 19th all-time) was also trudging off for nought — Peter keeps fine historical company. And it clearly runs in the family: sibling Tom Whyte already carries 2 career ducks of his own. Midweek XI — home to Bexley CC A three-for-the-price-of-one afternoon as Andel Carty and company ran through the middle order. Piers McDonald fell first, caught behind off Carty without troubling the scorers. His 6th duck of the summer takes him to 35 career, 17th all-time, and keeps him well clear at the top of the Duck of the Year 1997 race — a crown he's making very much his own. Fittingly, on this exact date in 1895, Ernest Cruttenden was doing precisely the same thing en route to his own Duck of the Year 1895. Richard Piper followed, caught off the same bowler, for his 12th career duck in just 45 innings — 68th on the all-time list, and a proud member of the Full House club (a duck at every position 1 to 11) plus the Homebody, Lone Duck and Ducks on the Road top tens. Quite the collection for one man. It plainly runs in the family too — parent Brian Piper sits on 20 career ducks of his own. Matt Large rounded off the trio, caught off Jack Leek, for his 2nd of the season and 55th of a genuinely glittering career — 5th on the all-time roll, a six-time Duck of the Year (1987, 88, 89, 92, 93, 95) and agonisingly one position shy of a Full House. Rare company indeed. And yes — 2 August 1895 struck a third time, Ernest Cruttenden completing an entirely unwitting hat-trick of tributes across the afternoon. A quiet week in the counting house overall, just the two fixtures troubled the scorers, but Bexley's attack made the very most of its chance — Andel Carty alone accounting for two of Wednesday's three. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Piers McDonald — 28 inns, 6 ducks, 21.4% - David Castle — 27 inns, 3 ducks, 11.1% - Adrian Caddick — 7 inns, 2 ducks, 28.6% - Roly Edwards — 7 inns, 2 ducks, 28.6% - Richard Ellis — 8 inns, 2 ducks, 25.0% Piers leads the chase, but Adrian and Roly are lurking on a fearsome percentage. Next fixture is never far away, and the exclusive zero club always has room for one more. See you out there. 🦆0️⃣

Four matches, one increasingly familiar sound: leather on stump, bat under arm, name in the book. The zero club welcomes its latest inductees. Saturday 26 July — 1st XI v Hollingbourne CC Nigel Thirkell departed at first wicket down, bowled Dan Pritchard, and in doing so brought up a genuinely historic 50th career duck — Full Membership territory, rank 7 of 1224 all time. A Homebody Duck and Tourist Duck top-tenner in the same breath, which takes some doing. Ducking clearly runs in the blood too — brother Tim sits on 66, sibling Simon on 33, and the next generation (Daniel, Stuart) are already contributing. On this very date in 1940, J Short made an identical trudge back against Boughton Monchelsea CC. Piers McDonald joined him in the pavilion soon after, also undone by Pritchard — his 4th duck of the season, 33rd of a career now well underway toward Duck of the Year 1997 honours. Sunday 27 July — 1st XI v Knockers CC Clive Newman went for nought at 2, caught off C Spencer Allen — his 1st of the season and 8th career duck (92nd all time). Basil Sears marked the same calendar date back in 1952 with a duck of his own versus Folkestone CC. Piers McDonald was back at it barely a day later, bowled Spencer Allen for his 5th duck of the season, 34th career — a grim pair completed inside 24 hours and an early statement of intent in the Duck of the Year race. Fred Cheesman also fell to Spencer Allen without scoring — 1st of the season, 30th career, keeping company with his own Duck of the Year gongs from 1990 and 1991, a Full House, and an Only Two Quacks pairing with Adam Pooley. Basil Sears, again, was his man for this day in history. Wednesday 30 July — Midweek XI v Ipswich Greyhounds CC (Kent Tour XI) Fred Cheesman completed a swift pair, bowled Malcolm Newson at number 10 — his 2nd duck of the week, 31st of his career. Fittingly, on this exact date in 1989, none other than Nigel Thirkell — this week's other headline nought — was doing precisely the same thing against The Mote CC. Small club, long memory. Week in brief: 6 ducks in 4 matches, two of them proper pairs (Piers McDonald and Fred Cheesman both doubling up), and a landmark half-century for Nigel Thirkell. The art of not scoring remains alive and well at Linton Park. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Piers McDonald — 26 inns, 5 ducks (19.2%) - David Castle — 26 inns, 3 ducks (11.5%) - Roly Edwards — 6 inns, 2 ducks (33.3%) - Adrian Caddick — 7 inns, 2 ducks (28.6%) - Richard Ellis — 7 inns, 2 ducks (28.6%) Piers holds a commanding lead in the race for Duck of the Year — can anyone catch him before the season's out? Next fixture awaits, and the exclusive zero club is always recruiting. 🍩0️⃣🏏

A quiet week in the hunting grounds, but the Duck Club never truly rests. Only two fresh entries to log this time, though both come from bowlers with serious pedigree in the art of not scoring. Saturday 19 July — 2nd XI away at Shipbourne CC Stuart Cheesman departed for nought, bowled by Matheson at first drop. It's his 1st duck of the summer and the 23rd of a career now 124 innings deep, good enough for 40th on the all-time list of 1,223 duck-makers. Stuart is a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, having opened his LPCC account with a blob on debut, and has twice been crowned Duck of the Year, in 1994 and 1996. He also holds the rare Full House, having now been dismissed for nought from every position 1 to 11, a feat of comprehensive uselessness few can match. Keep an eye on the family tree too, brother Steve carries 13 career ducks and dad Fred a full 29, so the Cheesman name is thoroughly represented in the club's dishonours list. On this day in 1975, Jon Harris was doing much the same thing against Tilling Steven, one entry on his way to a staggering 74 career ducks, still 2nd on the all-time roll. Sunday 20 July — 1st XI away at Tenterden CC Matt Large, in at first drop, went caught and bowled by M Taylor. His 1st duck of the season nudges him to 54 career ducks from 278 innings, 5th in the all-time standings, elite company by any measure. Another Debutante Duck alumnus, Matt has been crowned Duck of the Year no fewer than six times, in 1987, 1988, 1989, 1992, 1993 and 1995, and sits in the top 10 for both Ducks on the Road and Homebody Duck. He remains agonisingly one position short of the Full House, with position 10 the only blank left on his card. On this day in 1906, R W Mitchell also made a duck, against Royal West Kent Regiment CC - Officers XI, part of a modest career haul of 2. Week in Summary Five matches, two ducks. The flock kept its head down this week, but with two career ton-uppers adding to already formidable tallies, quality more than made up for quantity. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1997 - Piers McDonald — 3 ducks from 23 innings, 13.04% - David Castle — 3 ducks from 24 innings, 12.50% - Richard Ellis — 2 ducks from 6 innings, 33.33% - Roly Edwards — 2 ducks from 6 innings, 33.33% - Adrian Caddick — 2 ducks from 7 innings, 28.57% Piers and David hold the narrow lead on volume, but Richard and Roly's eye-watering duck rates suggest a late charge is very much on the cards. The season is young, the wickets are there for the taking, so get out to the middle and give the selectors something to add to the list next week 🏏🍩0️⃣

A quieter week down at Linton Park, but the zero club still opened its doors to two brand new members and kept the regulars ticking over. Four ducks across four matches — modest, but never uneventful. 🏏 1st XI — home to Snodland, 15 July Piers McDonald strode to the crease at five and departed for nought, caught by an "Unsure" fielder off K Shrimpton — a dismissal description as vague as it is final. It's his 3rd duck of the season and 32nd of an illustrious career, good enough for 21st on the all-time list. Piers is a proud member of the Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top tens, and with Duck of the Year 1997 already on his honours board, he looks set to make a real fist of defending the title this summer. On this very day back in 1978, Tim Thirkell — the club's all-time record-holder on 66 — also strolled back for nought, against Bowaters CC no less. Good company to keep, if company on nought can ever be called good. 🥇 2nd XI — away to Horton Kirby CC, 12 July A baptism of fire for David Hayman, whose very first senior innings for the club ended without troubling the scorers, bowled by K Tidmus. Straight onto the Debutante Duck board on the very first afternoon — there are faster ways to make an impression, but few more memorable. Back in 1964, Len Conway suffered an identical fate against Claributs Circus, on this exact date in the calendar. Roly Edwards fell the same way in the same innings, also bowled by K Tidmus, for his 2nd duck of the season and 10th of his career — good enough for 82nd on the all-time list. Like David, Roly shares his on-this-day company with Len Conway, 1964 vintage, also undone by Claributs Circus. 🍩 Midweek XI — home to Ingham CC, 16 July John Woodhams became the week's second debutant to depart for nought, caught by another "Unsure" fielder off D Wiseman. A genuine arrival on the Debutante Duck board — first knock, first duck, first entry in the ledger. On this day in 1960, Gordon Fenner — later a 34-strong career quacker — made exactly the same start against Rumwood CC. 📋 Week in Brief Four matches, four ducks, two fresh faces welcomed straight into the fold. No pairs, no family affairs, no king ducks this week — just honest, workmanlike failure across three sides. The zero club continues to grow one innings at a time. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Piers McDonald — 3 ducks / 19 innings (15.79%) 2. David Castle — 3 ducks / 22 innings (13.64%) 3. Adrian Caddick — 2 ducks / 5 innings (40.0%) 4. Roly Edwards — 2 ducks / 5 innings (40.0%) 5. Richard Ellis — 2 ducks / 6 innings (33.33%) Piers leads the way both in this year's Duck of the Year race and the season charts — can anyone catch him before the summer's out? Bring your bats, gentlemen, and prepare to disappoint. The next fixture awaits, and the zero club never turns anyone away. 🦆

Saturday 5th July 2nd XI away to Staplehurst CC The away day brought exactly one contribution to the exclusive zero club, and it fell to Daniel Thirkell. In at four, he departed courtesy of a smart return catch — c & b M- Apps — for his first duck of the 1997 season and the 6th of a career now standing at 43 innings. That lands him at 116th of 1,221 in the all-time standings, and cements his place among the club's Tourist Duck top 10 — a man who has made a habit of finding the zero far from home turf, evidently including Staplehurst. It's practically hereditary. The Thirkell name already litters the honours board — Tim on 66, John on 90, Nigel (his own kin, no less) on 49, Simon on 33 and young Stuart just getting started on 1. Daniel's sixth is merely another brick in a rather sturdy family monument to the art of not scoring. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1943, Herbert Sunley also strolled back for nought against Mr Ashby's XI, on his way to a tidy career haul of 5 and a rank of 132nd all-time. Fifty-four years apart, same date, same fate — the calendar has a long memory for these things. 📊 Week in Summary Four matches played across the period, and the ducks kept a remarkably low profile — just the single sighting, and Daniel had the field entirely to himself. Whether that's discipline or simply good fortune from the rest of the club remains to be seen. Either way, the zero club will not stay quiet for long. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Richard Ellis — 2 ducks in 3 innings (66.67%) 2. Adrian Caddick — 2 ducks in 4 innings (50.0%) 3. Stewart Morrison — 2 ducks in 10 innings (20.0%) 4. David Castle — 3 ducks in 20 innings (15.0%) 5. Mike Elworthy — 2 ducks in 15 innings (13.33%) Richard Ellis leads on strike rate alone, though David Castle's volume of three keeps him firmly in the conversation. Plenty of season left for the standings to be rewritten. 🦆 The next fixture awaits, and with it, no doubt, fresh recruits to the club of dubious distinction. Bats up, and may your consistency be of the ordinary kind.

A quiet weekend for the hunters this time out — two matches on the go, and the collection grew by precisely one. Rare are the days when the Duck Club can be accused of restraint, but here we are. 2nd XI v West Farleigh CC (home) - Richard Ellis, promoted to number six for the occasion, was bowled by Matt Smith and departed without incident — his 2nd duck of the 1997 season and the 10th of a career now sitting at 33 innings, good enough for 81st on the all-time list of 1220. Spookily, on this very day back in 1987, a young Stewart Morrison was doing precisely the same thing against Dimanchians CC — a full decade apart, same fate, same calendar square. Richard also carries two of the club's more solemn honours-board memberships from earlier in his career — Debutante Duck, for a blob on his very first Linton innings years ago, and Quack-to-Quack, for pairing that with a nought on the way out too. Standing honours only, mind — nothing to do with Saturday's effort, and absolutely no suggestion this week's dismissal is any kind of farewell. Week in summary: two fixtures, one duck — the hunters were left distinctly under-employed. Still, a lone duck is a duck, and the season's tally ticks quietly upward regardless. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard (1997) 1. David Castle — 3 ducks / 18 innings (16.67%) 2. Richard Ellis — 2 ducks / 2 innings (100%) 🍩 3. Adrian Caddick — 2 ducks / 4 innings (50%) 4. Stewart Morrison — 2 ducks / 9 innings (22.22%) 5. Mike Elworthy — 2 ducks / 13 innings (15.38%) Slim pickings this week, but the season's young yet. Next weekend's fixtures await their own nominees for the zero club — pads on, gentlemen, the ducks are watching. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Four fixtures for the 1st XI this week, and the Duck Club banked four fresh entries into the register — every one of them in maroon and gold. Quiet elsewhere, but the 1s kept the ledger busy. 🏏 Saturday 14th — Sheldwich CC (away) Ian Brattle, in at 11 with little left to protect, fell b David Prior for his 1st duck of the season and 39th of a storied career — 13th all time from 1220 names. A member of 50 Before a 50 (51 ducks, high score 33), first ducked on debut, and once strung seven Ducks in a Row. He shares the Only Two Quacks honour with clubmate Michael Beeney, who adds his own name to this report three days later. On this day in 1970, Mick Filmer (1969–1993) was doing the same against Bobbing Court. 🏏 Sunday 15th — Bexhill CC (home) Richard Ellis departed b Alan Cowley at 5 for his 1st duck of the season, 9th career nought from 32 innings, 88th all time. Richard carries Debutante Duck, Quack-to-Quack and Retirement Duck on his board — standing honours from a debut and farewell long banked, not this week's business. On this day in 1969, Frank Brattle (1937–1971) also made a duck, against Bobbing Court, and sits on 38 career ducks, 15th all time. 🏏 Tuesday 17th — Maidstone Teachers (home) A rare double to one bowler. A West removed both Adrian Caddick (6) and Michael Beeney (7) in the same innings, and the club welcomed two new entries for its trouble. Caddick's was his 2nd of the season, taking him to 11 career ducks in 72 innings, 68th all time — level with Andy Woollett, Colin Eldred and Ian Webb. A chip off the old block, with brother Mike Caddick on 7 career ducks himself. On this day in 1939, X Rayner was walking back at Castle Hill CC, Kent, en route to his own Retirement Duck. Beeney's was his 1st of the season, 7th of his career, 110th all time — forever twinned with Ian Brattle on Only Two Quacks, and himself a Retirement Duck honouree from a past farewell. Sharing today's on-this-day parallel with his teammate, X Rayner (1939–1963) fell at the same ground on this very date. 📋 The Week in Brief Four matches, four ducks, and the 1st XI cornered the market entirely — the 2s, 3s and 4s escaped unscathed. Maidstone Teachers can at least claim a two-for from one bowler, more than most visiting sides manage in an afternoon. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. David Castle — 3 ducks, 17 innings (17.65%) 2. Adrian Caddick — 2 ducks, 4 innings (50.00%) 3. Stewart Morrison — 2 ducks, 8 innings (25.00%) 4. Mike Elworthy — 2 ducks, 12 innings (16.67%) 5. Piers McDonald — 2 ducks, 14 innings (14.29%) Caddick's 50% strike rate this season is one to watch — committed pursuit of the zero. 🍩 Roll on the next fixtures — plenty of bats out there still owe the club a nought. See you at the crease. 0️⃣🦆

A curiously restrained weekend for the exclusive zero club. Three Linton sides took the field and between them mustered just the one nought — the ducks, it seems, went into hiding for a change. 🏏 Saturday, 2nd XI v Rumwood CC (home) Coming in at number 10 with the game seemingly beyond rescue, Roly Edwards fell run out — the fielding side's call of "Unsure" doing nothing to un-dismiss him — without so much as troubling the umpire's finger for lbw or otherwise. It's his 9th career duck from 80 innings, nudging him to 88th of 1220 in the all-time reckoning, and his 1st of the 1997 campaign — plenty of season left to add to it. Neatly, the calendar has a memory of its own: on this very day back in 1980, Mike Iliffe also strolled back for a duck against Rumwood CC — the exact same opposition, seventeen years apart almost to the hour. Iliffe went on to a formidable career haul of 43 ducks (1966–1987), good for 11th of 1220 all time, so Roly finds himself in properly ignominious company on the Rumwood fixture list. 📊 The Week in Brief Three matches, one solitary duck — a quiet weekend by the club's usual standards of triumphant failure. Whether that's a sign of improving technique or simply that Rumwood's bowlers took the weekend off elsewhere is a matter for the historians. Either way, the art of not scoring had a rare day of rest. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard — 1997 1. David Castle — 3 ducks / 14 innings (21.4%) 2. Stewart Morrison — 2 ducks / 7 innings (28.6%) 3. Mike Elworthy — 2 ducks / 10 innings (20.0%) 4. Piers McDonald — 2 ducks / 11 innings (18.2%) 5. Phil Randall — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) Phil Randall's early-season strike rate is one to watch — a flawless 100% record that surely can't survive the summer. Stewart Morrison meanwhile keeps the chasing pack honest at nearly 29%. 🍩 Onwards to the next fixture, where normal service — and rather more ducks — will no doubt resume. The zero club never sleeps for long.

Four fixtures, three ducks, and the exclusive zero club welcomed exactly nobody new — every name below is a paid-up veteran of the art of not scoring. Consistency of a very particular kind, as ever. 🏏 1st XI — a busy week for the Nought Committee Saturday 31 May, home to Milstead CC: Paul Bowles opened and departed in the traditional style of the run out — nobody's fault, everybody's fault, the eternal cricketing mystery. It's his 1st duck of the season and 53rd of an extraordinary career, good enough for 6th on the all-time list of 1220. A two-time Duck of the Year (1966 and 1968), a fixture of the Ducks on the Road top 10, and one half of Only Two Quacks with Adam Pooley — Paul barely needs the introduction anymore. Neatly enough, on this very day back in 1969 Benny Bell (1966–1975, 30 career ducks, 23rd all-time) also strolled back for nought against Tovil. Some anniversaries you can set your watch by. Sunday 1 June, home to Broadstairs CC: Piers McDonald was stumped by Neil Brennan off Brian Solly, the sort of dismissal that makes the wicketkeeper's day and nobody else's. His 2nd duck of the season lifts him to 31 career ducks, 22nd of 1220 all time, and keeps him firmly in the frame for the current Duck of the Year 1997 title he already has his name against on the honours board — the race is very much alive. He's also a fixture of the Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top 10s. On this day in 1903, Rev W A Carr made a duck against Maidstone CC in similarly antique fashion — proof that the nought predates the motorcar. Tuesday 3 June, away to The Mote CC: David Castle was bowled by D Funnell for his 3rd duck of the season, taking him to 27 career ducks and 30th on the all-time list, with a well-earned place in the Tourist Duck top 10 for his troubles on the road. He now sits level on 27 with Alan Cradduck, who played 1970–1977, needed 117 innings to get there, and picked up a Duck of the Year 1974 and a five-in-a-row Ducks in a Row honour along the way — kindred spirits, decades apart. The week's other fixture kept its ducks firmly under wraps — not every match can deliver. 📊 Week in summary Three ducks from four matches, every single one arriving in the 1st XI, and every single one a familiar face rather than a fresh recruit. Bowled, stumped and run out — a proper tasting menu of dismissals, missing only the LBW to complete the set. David Castle's third of the week also vaults him straight to the top of the season charts below. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - David Castle — 3 ducks / 12 innings (25.0%) - Stewart Morrison — 2 ducks / 6 innings (33.33%) - Mike Elworthy — 2 ducks / 8 innings (25.0%) - Piers McDonald — 2 ducks / 9 innings (22.22%) - Phil Randall — 1 duck / 1 innings (100.0%) Castle leads the way but McDonald's Duck of the Year 1997 credentials say he isn't done yet. Next fixture, same rules apply: middle stump, first ball or fiftieth, the zero club is always recruiting. 🏏0️⃣🦆

Two fixtures, four ducks, and one Linton stalwart who fancied doing it twice for good measure. Welcome to this week's edition of the exclusive zero club. Saturday — 1st XI at Bearsted CC Stephen Heap enjoyed himself no end at Bearsted, working his way through the Linton order in some style. First to fall was Stewart Morrison, bowled by Heap after six balls of watchful resistance at number two. It's his 1st duck of the season and 19th of a career now standing 45th on the all-time list — a card-carrying member of the Debutante Duck club (his very first Linton innings, long ago, also brought nought) and a fixture of the Lone Duck top ten. A family affair in the making too, as sibling Phillip Morrison carries 2 career ducks of his own, though he wasn't required this weekend. On this very day in 1987, Martin Thompson was doing much the same against John Fisher Old Boys, one of ten ducks across a career that ran 1975 to 1987. Next in was Mike Elworthy at number six, first ball, no complaints, a golden duck through and through. It's his 2nd of the season and 24th of a career that puts him 36th on the all-time roll, a paid-up Tourist Duck top-tenner. He shares his moment on the calendar with that same Martin Thompson, dismissed against the very same opposition a decade earlier. And closing the innings at number 11, Jon Harris departed for a golden duck of his own — first ball, out, utterly unbothered, because Jon has seen this film 74 times before. Yes, 74 — good enough for 2nd on the all-time Linton ducks list, a résumé reading like a trophy cabinet turned upside down: three-time Duck of the Year (1976, 1980, 1981), the fabled Full House (a duck at every position, 1 through 11), and memberships too numerous to squeeze into one innings break. His parent-child kin Richard Harris isn't far behind on 36 career ducks himself — clearly a family with a gift. Jon too finds Martin Thompson for company on this day in history. Sunday — Sunday NVKC v Milstead CC Not content with Saturday's efforts, Stewart Morrison marked himself out for a grim double, caught by Mike Sellar off the bowling of K Ford to complete a full pair for the weekend. His 2nd duck of the season lifts him to 20 for his career, still 45th on the all-time list. On this day in 1970, Frank Brattle was doing the same against Bearsted CC, one of 38 career ducks across a Linton career spanning 1937 to 1971. Week in Summary Four ducks from three matches — Bearsted CC did the early damage, Milstead CC finished the job. Stephen Heap can consider his afternoon's work well spent, and Stewart Morrison has set himself up nicely for an early Duck of the Year push with a pair already banked in May. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Stewart Morrison — 4 inns, 2 ducks (50.0%) 2. Mike Elworthy — 7 inns, 2 ducks (28.57%) 3. David Castle — 9 inns, 2 ducks (22.22%) 4. Phil Randall — 1 inns, 1 duck (100.0%) 5. Adrian Caddick — 2 inns, 1 duck (50.0%) 🏏 Plenty more fixtures on the horizon, and plenty more opportunities for glorious failure. The zero club never sleeps — who's joining the honours board next weekend? 🦆

A quiet week on the Duck Hunting front — only two additions to the register from four fixtures — but the exclusive zero club never turns away new business, and this pair arrived in style. 🏏 1st XI Sunday 18th, vs Downham & Bellingham CC (home): Adrian Caddick, holding up the tail at number 9, was run out for nought before he'd troubled the scorers. His 10th career duck from 70 innings lifts him to 75th of 1220 in the all-time table — a fine showing for a family with form, his sibling Mike already sitting on 7 career noughts of his own. On this day in 1957, William Blight — who turned out for Linton 1953 to 1959 and finished on 10 ducks himself — was also dismissed for nought, against Gore Court CC. Forty years apart, same fate, same date. Tuesday 20th, vs Hollingbourne CC (away): Rob Doick, opening the innings at number 2, was bowled by Dan Pritchard without scoring. His first duck of the season is his 19th for the club from 131 innings, good enough for 45th of 1220 all-time — proof that consistency of a very particular kind can be found at either end of the order. On this day in 1995, Steve Masters — a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from his own eventual farewell — likewise departed for nought, against Headcorn CC. 📅 Week in Summary Two ducks from four matches is a lean harvest by Linton standards — the fowl were clearly elsewhere this week — but they came from opposite ends of the batting order, numbers 2 and 9, a reminder that the duck discriminates against no one. Both men added to already substantial personal collections rather than opening fresh accounts, which is either reassuring consistency or a mild cause for concern, depending on your outlook. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Phil Randall — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 2. David Castle — 7 innings, 2 ducks (28.57%) 3. Adam Pooley — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) 4. Adrian Caddick — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) 5. Rob Doick — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) Phil Randall leads on a startling maiden statement, though with only one innings behind him there's time yet for the field to close in. Watch this space. 🍩 Next fixture looms, and with it the Duck Club's usual invitation — bring your bat, bring your luck, and if all else fails, bring your sense of humour. See you at the crease.

Two matches on the fixture list this weekend, and Chestfield CC did the honours single-handedly, picking off the top of the Linton order like a pair of ripe cherries. 🏏 Sunday NVKC v Chestfield CC (home) Openers David Castle and Mike Elworthy strode out together and returned to the pavilion in short order, giving the Duck Club a rare same-innings double from the very top of the order. David Castle fell first, bowled by C Tully without troubling the scorers. It's his 2nd duck of the 1997 campaign and the 26th of a career now standing at 439 innings — enough to hold down 30th spot in the all-time 1220-strong congregation, and a paid-up name on the Tourist Duck top 10, so this one at least had the decency to happen at home. Neatly enough, on this very day back in 1969, John Ames — a man who finished with 49 career ducks and sits 7th of all time — was also trudging off against Gore Court CC. Some things, evidently, are written in the fixture card. Next man in, Mike Elworthy, fared no better, caught by D Briley off David Fields for his 1st duck of the season and 23rd of a 234-innings career, good for 38th on the all-time list and fellow membership of the Tourist Duck top 10 — clearly a well-travelled squad this pair. And history repeated itself down the order too: the same 11 May 1969, same opponents Gore Court CC, same John Ames making his own contribution to nought. Two Lintonians, 28 years apart, keeping remarkably similar company. 📊 Week in Summary A tidy haul of 2 ducks from 2 matches, both delivered in the same innings by the same opening pair — Chestfield's bowlers will be very pleased with their morning's work, and NVKC's middle order rather grateful someone else got there first. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Phil Randall — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 2. David Castle — 4 innings, 2 ducks (50%) 3. Adam Pooley — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) 4. Mike Elworthy — 3 innings, 1 duck (33.33%) 5. Piers McDonald — 3 innings, 1 duck (33.33%) Phil Randall sits pretty on a flawless record so far, but with only one innings to his name it's hardly a fortress yet. Plenty of season left for the chasing pack to make their move. 🍩 Same time next fixture, then — pads on, bats ready, and the exclusive zero club stands open to new applicants as ever. See you out there.

Early season, and the Duck Club's scouts are already busy. Three matches this week yielded four ducks, three of them arriving in one alarming clatter at Bidborough. Saturday 3rd May — Bidborough CC (home) The top order took a proper battering. David Castle opened and departed without scoring, caught M Tolhurst off Mark Mitchell — his 25th career duck from 438 innings, moving him to 34th in the all-time table and keeping his seat warm on the Tourist Duck top 10. On this very day in 1959, Tony Tipples (1952–1961) was doing much the same against Harrietsham CC. Piers McDonald followed at first drop, caught M Knoth off the same relentless Mark Mitchell, for his 30th career duck in 272 innings — 23rd all-time, and a Tourist Duck top 10 regular alongside Castle. More pointedly, the honours board already has him marked down for Duck of the Year 1997 — early May, and the destiny appears settled. He too echoes Tony Tipples' 1959 vintage. Down at five, Adam Pooley fell as well, bowled by M Tolhurst, his 7th career duck from a brisk 21 innings — 104th all-time. A paid-up member of the Only Two Quacks club, twice over, alongside Fred Cheesman and Paul Bowles, and a name on the Retirement Duck honours board from some past farewell, Adam completes the day's hat-trick of echoes from Tony Tipples' 1959. Monday 5th May — Maidstone Dissidents CC (home) Phil Randall was bowled by Dennis Salisbury without scoring, his maiden LPCC duck from 10 innings — 503rd in the all-time list, a rarity worth savouring rather than a habit. On this same day in 1974, club legend Paul Bowles — later of 52 career ducks, twice Duck of the Year, and forever paired with Adam Pooley in the Only Two Quacks club — was also walking back for nought, against Leeds and Broomfield. Nice to see the thread run right through the week. 📋 Week in Summary Four ducks from three matches, all 1st XI, and a proper top-order collapse at Bidborough where three batsmen fell without scoring in the same innings — Mark Mitchell and M Tolhurst sharing the spoils. The Dissidents added a fourth for good measure two days later. Early days yet, but the season's duck hunters are off the mark. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Adam Pooley — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 2. Phil Randall — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 3. Piers McDonald — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) 4. David Castle — 3 innings, 1 duck (33.33%) Four names, all locked at 100% or worse — the perfect symmetry of despair. Plenty of season left for the standings to scramble. Next fixture, more victims await — bring your bat, and try to use it. 🦆

A rare weekend indeed, ladies and gentlemen. Two fixtures took to the field across Saturday and Sunday, bat met ball on countless occasions, and yet — nothing. Not a single nought to report. Every batsman who walked to the crease walked back again having troubled the scorers at least once. The exclusive zero club held no induction ceremony this week. The art of not scoring, it seems, was simply not practised. Somewhere, the honours board sighs in disappointment. Whether this was superb application, flat pitches, generous bowling, or simply everyone's eye being uncharacteristically in, the Duck Club cannot say. What we can say is that the hunting season has, for one brief weekend, gone entirely empty-handed. Even the most committed of our regulars couldn't manufacture a golden opportunity. 🏏 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard Quiet on this front too — it's early days in the 1997 campaign and the standings haven't yet troubled the printer. A blank page, much like this weekend's bowling figures against our top order. Give it a fixture or two. 🍩 Fear not, members. The ducks are only ever one loose shot, one shooter, or one full-length delivery away. Normal service will resume — it always does. See you at the next fixture, where someone, somewhere, is surely due. 0️⃣🦆