🦆 The Duck Pond

A Chronicle of the Willow's Misfortunes, 14th to 16th July, 1900 A modest week for the collectors of the cipher, with but a single egg laid across the two fixtures played — the sort of restraint that leaves your correspondent almost short of material, though never entirely without a subject worthy of these pages. The First Eleven On Saturday last, against Yalding CC, H F Morris went in at number ten and, having weathered the opening delivery, was undone shortly thereafter by the bowling of F B Leney, returning to the pavilion without troubling the scorer. It is the first duck of his season, and the fourth innings of a career that has now yielded a single such cipher, placing him seventy-sixth of the three hundred and two gentlemen who have achieved the distinction across the club's long history. The honours boards remain, for the present, beyond his reach, though the membership trusts this is merely a want of opportunity. Of some antiquarian interest, this very day in 1886 saw L Friend likewise dismissed for nought, in a fixture against The Mote CC — a coincidence of the calendar the more superstitious among us may care to ponder. In Summary Two fixtures were played within the period, yielding but the one duck. H F Morris stands this week as the eleven's sole representative in the exclusive zero club, whether through a want of application among the bowlers of Yalding or an uncommon steadiness elsewhere at the crease, your correspondent shall not presume to say. The Season's Leading Exponents of the Art of Not Scoring 1. Jack Fryer — 9 innings, 2 ducks, 22.22 per cent 2. X Pike — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50.00 per cent 3. C S Smith — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33 per cent 4. F E Wallis — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33 per cent 5. J F Coles — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33 per cent The club awaits the next fixture with quiet confidence that the willow shall furnish further candidates for these pages before the season is out.

A single fixture engaged our attention this week, the eleven meeting Town Malling CC, and the willow yielded but one contribution to the exclusive company of the nought. The First Eleven Mr L C Brown, sent in at number seven, was caught by W H Cooper off the bowling of W R Stratton and returned to the pavilion having failed to trouble the scorer. It is his first duck of the present season, and the first of his career in five innings at the wicket — a modest but perfectly respectable entry, placing him ninety-first upon our roll of three hundred. In this he keeps company with Mr A Barker, whose own solitary career cipher was registered so long ago as 1885, the year in which he was honoured as Duck of the Year — fine company to keep, even at some fifteen years' remove. The Week in Summary One match, one duck — a week of unusual restraint on the part of the Town Malling bowlers, or unusual watchfulness at the crease on ours, depending upon one's allegiance. The eleven may reflect that a single egg laid this week is scarcely cause for alarm, though the club's ledger, ever patient, records it nonetheless. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard The season's foremost practitioners of the art of not scoring stand thus: - Jack Fryer — 7 innings, 2 ducks, 28.57 per cent - F E Wallis — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50.00 per cent - X Pike — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50.00 per cent - C S Smith — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33 per cent - F S W Cornwallis — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33 per cent We commend Mr Fryer particularly, whose consistency in this regard shows no sign of abating. The club awaits with quiet confidence the next fixture, which history assures us will furnish fresh candidates for these honours. Members are respectfully invited to attend, bat resolutely, and, should fortune desert them at the crease, to accept their place upon the roll with the good grace this club has always required.

A quiet week for the willow, gentlemen, for only two of our number were asked to make the short walk back to the pavilion — but a correspondent finds his colour where he may, and the fixture against Brenchley CC did not disappoint. The First Eleven - Mr Arthur Cornwallis, promoted to first wicket down, was undone bowled, the name of his conqueror going unrecorded in the book — no disgrace attaches to falling to a bowler even the scorer could not identify. This is his first cipher of the season and the second of a career now spanning nine and thirty innings, placing him five and twentieth of the two hundred and ninety-eight names upon the club's roll of dubious distinction. He is no stranger to this company, having been crowned Duck of the Year as long ago as 1888, a laurel that ages rather better than most. Curiously, on this very day in the year 1891, one F Danells also returned scoreless to the pavilion, against Hunton CC — the calendar, it seems, has long memory for these things. - Mr F E Wallis followed him to the crease at four, and followed him back again just as promptly, likewise bowled by a hand the scorer declined to name. It is his maiden duck of the summer and but the first blemish upon a card of twelve innings, leaving him four and sixtieth upon the all-time list. He joins a considerable fraternity sitting upon exactly one career cipher apiece — among them Mr A Barker, whose own solitary duck in 1885 was sufficient to earn him that season's dubious crown. In Summary Brenchley CC's bowling claimed two wickets for nought this week from a single fixture, both from the top order and both, it might be observed, by bowlers whose identities the scorebook has chosen discreetly to withhold. Whether this reflects modesty on the bowlers' part or forgetfulness on the scorer's, your correspondent leaves to the reader's judgement. The Duck Hunting Season, Standings to Date 1. Jack Fryer — 6 innings, 2 ducks (33.3 per cent) 2. F E Wallis — 2 innings, 1 duck (50.0 per cent) 3. X Pike — 2 innings, 1 duck (50.0 per cent) 4. C S Smith — 3 innings, 1 duck (33.3 per cent) 5. F S W Cornwallis — 3 innings, 1 duck (33.3 per cent) The club awaits its next fixture with the usual mixture of hope and foreboding, confident that further names will shortly be added to this ledger of honourable failure.

Our correspondent is obliged to report that the visit to Yalding CC yielded, in addition to whatever runs were scored, a modest but respectable harvest for the exclusive zero club. Three of our batsmen were sent back to the pavilion without troubling the scorer, the bowling of Mr F Reeves proving a particular affliction. 1st XI Mr Jack Fryer, going in at first wicket down, was caught E Wilkins, bowled F Reeves, and thereby entered his second duck's egg of the present season. This is by no means a novel indignity for Mr Fryer, who stands alone at the head of the club's all-time roll with ten career ciphers from five and fifty innings — first of two hundred and ninety-five, a distinction of the most dubious kind. He carries already the Duck of the Year honours of 1891, and appears, on this season's evidence, a strong candidate to add the prize for 1900 to his mantelpiece before the summer is out. Consistency, it must be said, of a very particular kind. Batting at seven, Mr J F Coles was bowled by Mr Reeves for his first duck of the season, and his maiden failure of a fledgling career now numbering three innings. He may take some comfort in joining, on a tally of one career ciphers apiece, the shade of Mr A Barker, who achieved the identical distinction in a single innings for the club back in 1885 and was rewarded, for his trouble, with that year's Duck of the Year honours. At number eight, Mr C S Smith was caught R G Henham, bowled F Reeves, his third career ciphers from a mere eight innings, and the club's seventeenth most prolific duck-getter of all time — a rank he holds partly on the strength of the Duck of the Year prize awarded him in 1898. In this he draws level with Mr A Kent, whose own third duck in 1893 likewise earned him that year's crown. Triumph through adversity, evidently, runs in the family of the willow-wielding unlucky. The Week in Summary One match, one defeat of the scorer's pencil three times over, and the bowling of Mr F Reeves accounting for all three dismissals — a feat of hostile accuracy the club is pleased to record, even as it laments the toll taken upon our own batting order. No pairs of ducks, nor any shared family misfortune, were recorded in this fixture, for which small mercy the eleven may be duly grateful. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Jack Fryer — 5 innings, 2 ducks, 40.0 per cent 2. X Pike — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50.0 per cent 3. C S Smith — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.3 per cent 4. F S W Cornwallis — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.3 per cent 5. J F Coles — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.3 per cent The season yet has much cricket left in it, and the club trusts its members will continue to apply themselves to the art of not scoring with their customary diligence. Members are cordially invited to the next fixture, where fresh candidates for the timbers, and for these very pages, will no doubt present themselves.

A single fixture upon our own ground, against the Royal Engineers CC, yielded to the Zero Club two further members of good standing, the eleven finding the timbers no less accommodating to the visitors' bowling than is customary. 1st XI - Mr X Pike, sent in at number five, was bowled by Captain T Bigge for a cipher, and so opens both his cricketing career and his membership of this club in the same unhappy stroke. It is his maiden appearance in the eleven, his very first duck's egg, taken across two innings played this day — a debut he will, upon reflection, wish had waited a little longer for the willow to find its range. He stands but 119th of 293 upon the club's roll of dishonour, and finds himself level, at a single career duck apiece, with Mr A Barker of the 1885 vintage, himself once decorated Duck of the Year — distinguished company indeed for a gentleman not yet a fortnight in the club's colours. - Mr Jack Fryer, at number nine, was bowled by Mr M G Pollock without troubling the scorer, his ninth duck in a career now numbering three-and-fifty innings, and retains, unrivalled, the very summit of the club's all-time roll of dishonour — first of two hundred and ninety-three, a distinction earned rather than sought. A veteran of the Duck of the Year honour in 1891, he stands this season decorated Duck of the Year 1900 also, a laurel he continues most energetically to justify. The Week in Brief One fixture, two ducks, and neither gentleman troubling the scorer at all — a quiet week for the run-getters and a busy one for the timbers. No pair of ducks was recorded by either man, nor any family misfortune shared between kinsmen, the ignominy this week being borne singly and honourably by each. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - X Pike — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50.0 per cent - F S W Cornwallis — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33 per cent - Jack Fryer — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33 per cent The club awaits its next fixture with quiet confidence, trusting our batsmen will continue to furnish these pages with fresh material, whether they wish it or no.

A Chronicle of the Second of June, 1900 A single afternoon's cricket was played this week, the eleven at home to Sutton Valence School, and the exclusive zero club found but one new name entered upon its rolls — welcomed, though we concede welcomed is rather too warm a word for the sensation itself. The First Eleven Mr F S W Cornwallis, sent in at number eight, was clean bowled — the scorer's book records only "b Unsure," the name of the bowler having apparently eluded the gentleman holding the pencil, which we may count this week's one small mercy, sparing the fellow public credit for the deed. It is his first duck's egg of the 1900 season, and the fifth of a career now standing at one-and-forty innings, a tally which places him sixth among the two hundred and ninety gentlemen who have ever graced, or rather disgraced, our roll of honour. In this he draws level with the veteran F Danells, who between 1881 and 1891 contrived exactly five such dismissals in a mere fifteen visits to the crease, and who rests one place above him upon the all-time list — a swifter road to the same distinguished total, though Mr Cornwallis has taken the longer, and we venture the more scenic, route to it. A Week in Summary One fixture, one wicket of note, one gentleman inducted into this week's proceedings. A quiet week for the art of not scoring, but the club's business is never without its single, solemn entry. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. F S W Cornwallis — 1 innings, 1 duck, a perfect 100 per cent A leaderboard of one is, we admit, scarcely a contest, but early-season standings must begin somewhere, and Mr Cornwallis has claimed the summit by the simple expedient of being first to fall. We look forward, with our customary dread and delight, to the next fixture, when the eleven shall no doubt furnish further material for these pages.