🦆 The Duck Pond

A quiet one this week, quackers. Linton took to the field on the 22nd and — brace yourselves — not a single duck was recorded. Eleven bats went out, eleven bats found some sort of contact with the ball, and the Duck Club's talent-spotters were left twiddling their thumbs in the pavilion. The art of not scoring, it seems, took the weekend off. Rest assured this is merely a stay of execution, not a retirement notice. The ducks are out there somewhere, biding their time, and normal service of dubious distinction will resume presently. 🏏 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Will Thew — 6 ducks / 31 innings (19.35%) 2. -Matthew Ward — 4 ducks / 8 innings (50.0%) 🍩 3. Ray Dixon — 4 ducks / 11 innings (36.36%) 4. Thomas Beeney — 4 ducks / 21 innings (19.05%) 5. -Adam Wright — 3 ducks / 7 innings (42.86%) Special mention to Matthew Ward, whose 50% strike rate for nought remains the most statistically alarming entry in this season's top five — a genuine coin-flip every time he walks out. Adam Wright isn't far behind either, quietly assembling a portfolio that would make any actuary nervous. Will Thew sits pretty at the summit, but with three men breathing down his neck on 4 apiece, this remains very much a live contest. One careless waft at a wide one and the whole leaderboard could be rewritten. 📅 Looking ahead So the exclusive zero club takes a rare week's holiday — enjoy the peace while it lasts. Next time out, someone somewhere will surely offer themselves up for ceremonial induction. We watch. We wait. We celebrate. 🦆 0️⃣

Three fixtures, six ducks, and the exclusive zero club welcomes its usual mixed bag of the unlucky and the serially unproductive this week. On with the ceremony. 🏏 Saturday — 1st XI v Sidcup CC (h) Openers beware: Harry Bee fell first, caught Tom Hopkins bowled Christian Stent, for his 2nd duck of the season and 5th of a career now standing 170th of 1407 all-time. A long-standing member of the Debutante Duck and Quack-to-Quack honours boards from his own playing history, Harry now sits level on 5 career ducks with Sam Boyns (2007–2012, 54 innings) — kindred spirits in the art of not scoring. Kevin Presneill followed him back not long after, caught Henry Walker bowled Tom Hopkins, his 1st duck of the season but 18th of a career that now ranks 62nd of 1407. He draws level with Russell Baldwin (1988–2006, 208 innings) on that very tally — proof that eighteen noughts is a perfectly respectable body of work in Linton company. 🌱 Sunday — Sunday 1st XI v Cowdrey CC (h) Stuart Cheesman, caught Gary Marshall bowled Alex Jessop, picked up his 1st duck of the season and 41st of his career, now 20th of 1407 all-time — a stalwart of the Full House board (a duck at every position, 1 to 11) and twice Duck of the Year, in 1994 and 1996, for good measure. A chip off the old block too, with father Fred Cheesman sitting on 42 career ducks and brother Steve on 14. Trevor Back wasn't far behind, caught Oscar Holmes bowled Nicholas Farr, his 3rd duck of the season and 75th career duck, keeping him at a lofty 5th of 1407 all-time and squarely inside the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens. Both Cheesman and Back share a parallel: on this very day in 1962, Richard Ashby made a duck against Staplehurst CC on his way to 28 career noughts. 🕯️ Midweek — Midweek XI v Penshurst Park CC (a) Richard Piper, caught Julius Marshal bowled David Smith, chalked up his 2nd duck of the season and 61st of his career, holding at a remarkable 7th of 1407 all-time — Duck of the Year 2003, a Full House member, and a fixture of three separate top-10 honours boards. On this day in 1982, David Iliffe made a duck of his own against Anchorians CC en route to 31 career ducks. Piper's duck-collecting evidently runs in the family too, with father Brian on 23 and brother James on 11. Peter Whyte joined him in ignominy, bowled David Smith, his 1st duck of the season and 23rd career duck, 52nd of 1407 all-time — level on tally with Brian Piper (1973–2008, 441 innings), a tidy coincidence given who was at the other end that day. Whyte's sibling Tom carries 2 career ducks of his own. 📊 The Week in Short Six ducks from three matches, spread evenly across bat and ball 0️⃣ — no golden ducks, no pairs, and no family affairs this time, just honest, hard-earned failure all round. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Will Thew — 30 inns, 6 ducks (20.0%) - Matthew Ward — 8 inns, 4 ducks (50.0%) - Ray Dixon — 11 inns, 4 ducks (36.36%) - Thomas Beeney — 21 inns, 4 ducks (19.05%) - Adam Wright — 7 inns, 3 ducks (42.86%) The season's final weeks beckon — who'll be joining the honours boards next time out? The zero club never sleeps. 🦆🍩

Three fixtures took the field this weekend and, in a rare show of restraint, only one of them troubled the Duck Club. Step forward the Sunday 1st XI, away at Hollingbourne CC, who did all the heavy lifting with three ducks in a single innings while the other two sides kept their noses embarrassingly clean. 🏏 Sunday 1st XI v Hollingbourne CC Harry Bee got proceedings underway at number 3, run out for nought without troubling the bowlers. It's his 1st duck of the season and 4th of a 30-innings career, sliding him to 194th of 1407 in the all-time roll call — level on career ducks with -Matthew Ward, who reached the same tally in a far more concentrated 10 innings back in 2011-2012. Harry is also a paid-up member of both the Debutante Duck club and the Retirement Duck honours, standing reminders that his very first innings and, presumptively, his very last have both ended on nought. Today, happily for the archives, was neither. Next in was Ray Dixon, bowled for a duck at four — his 4th of the season and 17th of the career, good enough for 67th on the all-time list. That puts him level with Clive Newman, who needed 371 innings across two decades (1992-2012) to reach the same haul — Ray is getting there rather more efficiently. A former Duck of the Year back in 2007, he's proving this season he's far from finished. Then Simon Thirkell, caught behind off Miles Henslow at six, made it three in the innings — his 2nd duck of the season and a hefty 59th of the career, 9th on the all-time leaderboard. Simon holds proud membership of the "50 Before a 50" club, 59 career ducks and a highest score of just 48 to show for it — triumph through adversity indeed. A three-time Duck of the Year (1983, 2001, 2006) and a veteran of that barren Runaway Duck season, his tally of 59 draws him level with none other than his own brother Nigel Thirkell. Quacking, it seems, runs firmly in the family. 📋 Week in Summary Three ducks, three Sunday 1st XI victims, one thoroughly productive Hollingbourne afternoon. The 1st XI top order showed consistency of a very particular kind, while the rest of the club got away scot-free. Can't win them all, or indeed anything, some days. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Will Thew — 6 ducks, 29 innings (20.69%) - -Matthew Ward — 4 ducks, 8 innings (50.0%) - Ray Dixon — 4 ducks, 10 innings (40.0%) - Thomas Beeney — 4 ducks, 20 innings (20.0%) - -Adam Wright — 3 ducks, 7 innings (42.86%) Ray Dixon's afternoon at Hollingbourne keeps him firmly wedged in the top 5 — the race for Duck of the Year is very much alive. 🍩 No doubt the next fixture will add a name or two to these lists. Get out there, middle it or don't — either way, the Duck Club is watching. 0️⃣🦆

Only three names troubled the scorers this week, but as ever quality over quantity in the exclusive zero club. Sunday 2nd — Knockers CC (away) Ray Dixon departed for nought at number 5, caught Lynden Spencer Allen, bowled Young. His third duck of the season lifts him to 16 career ducks from 68 innings — 72nd in the all-time standings — drawing level with Darren Styles, who took a rather more leisurely 214 innings to reach the same total across 1989–2012. Proof, as always, that efficiency in this particular discipline is its own kind of talent. Moments later Will Bramley-Harker joined him in the book, bowled Young at number 9 for his second senior duck in just nine innings. He pulls level with Alan Probert, whose entire 2008–09 career yielded exactly two ducks from two innings — a perfect, if brief, strike rate. Will's sibling Matt already carries a career duck of his own, so the Bramley-Harkers are quietly assembling a family collection. Will also holds a place in the Retirement Duck club — strictly a standing honour from a past farewell, not a suggestion he's going anywhere. Wednesday 5th — Midweek XI v The Mote CC (away) Trevor Back rounded off the week, bowled Fraser Inglis at first drop for his second duck of the season and 74th of an extraordinary career — good enough for 5th on the all-time chart, with a mantelpiece already groaning under Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top-ten honours, plus shared quacking credits with Allan Cooper and Jon Harris. Splendidly, on this very day in 1970, David T Lowen was doing precisely the same thing against A.Trembeths, en route to a career tally of 3. Some things about early September never change. Week in summary Three ducks from five matches — a restrained week by Linton standards, spread neatly across a Sunday and a Wednesday fixture, with the top and middle order sharing the indignity equally. No pairs, no king pairs, no family affairs this time — the ducks kept it strictly business. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 - Will Thew — 6 ducks, 29 innings, 20.69% - -Matthew Ward — 4 ducks, 8 innings, 50.0% - Thomas Beeney — 4 ducks, 19 innings, 21.05% - -Adam Wright — 3 ducks, 7 innings, 42.86% - Ray Dixon — 3 ducks, 9 innings, 33.33% Ray's Sunday nought lands him straight into 5th on the season charts — one to watch as the race for Duck of the Year hots up. Fixtures roll on, and with them the inevitable next instalment. The zero club never sleeps 🍩0️⃣🏏

Six fixtures out on the park this week, and the Duck Club's ledger grew by four fresh entries — steady work, not a bumper crop, but every one earns its place. Saturday 25th August 2nd XI v Lenham CC (h) Will Thew edged behind, caught Tom Curtis off Tim Horton, for the 6th duck of the summer — the 12th of a career now 76 innings deep, rank 94 of 1406, drawing level with 2000s stalwart Adam Jackson (2001–2012, 107 innings, rank 84). Will remains a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from a first-ever knock long since passed, and with six already banked this season sits proudly atop 2012's own Duck of the Year table — the pace to beat as the summer winds down. Tom Curtis then went hunting with the ball too, bowling Andrew Joseph a few overs later for the 2nd duck of the season and the 2nd of a young career — just 5 innings in, rank 271 of 1406. Andrew joins Alan Probert (2008–2009, a brief 2-innings career) in the newer wing of the zero club. Sunday 26th August Sunday 2nd XI v Stockbury CC (a) Trevor Back, bowled Tom Bulbrook, brought up the 1st duck of the season but the 73rd for the club from a mighty 669 innings — rank 5 of 1406, comfortably inside the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, and still on the pairing honours with Allan Cooper and Jon Harris. Fittingly, on this very date back in 1979, club legend Tim Thirkell also walked back for nought, against Old Anchorians CC. Next in was Nigel Thirkell, caught James Newell off Nick Emery — a 1st duck of the season, 59th of a career now 1195 innings long, rank 8 of 1406, and a fixture of the Homebody Duck and Tourist Duck top tens. The surname carries some weight around here: John Thirkell (90 ducks) tops the all-time chart outright at rank 1, sibling Tim (85) sits at rank 3, with Simon, Christopher, Daniel, Will, Stuart and Tom Thirkell all adding entries of their own — a genuine duck dynasty. Neatly enough, it was Tim who was also dismissed for nought on this exact calendar date in 1979. Week in Summary Four ducks from six matches, with Lenham's Tom Curtis doing the double — one bowled, one catch taken — to account for two Linton batters in the same innings. The remaining four fixtures kept their noughts firmly to themselves. The ducks, it seems, took most of the weekend off. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🏆 - Will Thew — 6 ducks, 28 inns, 21.43% - Matthew Ward — 4 ducks, 8 inns, 50.00% - Thomas Beeney — 4 ducks, 17 inns, 23.53% - Adam Wright — 3 ducks, 7 inns, 42.86% - Lewis Burnham — 3 ducks, 13 inns, 23.08% Will Thew holds a firm grip on top spot, but with a 50% strike rate lurking in second, nobody's safe yet. Next fixture looms, and with it the inevitable next instalment. Pads on, guard taken, fingers crossed 🏏🍩0️⃣

Four matches, four ducks, and the club's least-wanted club quietly welcomed new fixtures over the exclusive zero club's favourite habitat: a August Saturday-Sunday double bill. 🏏 Saturday — 2nd XI away at Rumwood CC Andrew Joseph departed early, caught Patrick Hill bowled Lee Marsh, for his 1st duck of the season and 1st of his career from 4 innings — rank 400 of 1406 in the all-time ledger. He joins the enigmatically-initialled "- Howard", a one-innings wonder of 2006 who remains level with him on a single career duck, and who holds the rare triple of Debutante Duck, One and Done, and Retirement Duck — the complete set for a career that lasted exactly one visit to the crease. Andrew, you have innings 5 to avoid matching that particular hat-trick. 🌱 Sunday — 1st XI at home to Benenden CC Benjamin Austin, in at first drop, was caught Owen Dearn bowled Pete Wain without troubling the scorers. His 1st duck of the season nudges him to 2 career ducks from just 5 innings, rank 277 of 1406, and a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from his very first innings. He draws level on career ducks with Alan Probert, briefly of 2008-09 vintage, who also managed the neat trick of a Retirement Duck to match his Debutante one. Benjamin's sibling Jordan Austin already carries 3 career ducks of his own — evidently a family with an eye for the art of not scoring. Thomas Beeney followed him back not long after, caught Andrew Morrison bowled William Huish. This is his 4th duck of the season and 23rd of a lengthening career spanning 113 innings, rank 52 of 1406, with Ducks on the Road top 10 already on his mantelpiece. He draws level on 23 with Brian Piper, who took a rather more leisurely 441 innings across 1973-2008 to get there — efficiency, of a sort, is being demonstrated here. His parent Michael Beeney already sits on 34 career ducks, so the family gene appears to be thriving. 🌱 Sunday — 2nd XI away at Chelsfield Park CC Simon Thirkell, at number 6, was caught Andrew Lofthouse bowled Damien Wheatley for his 1st duck of the season and a mighty 58th of his career from 255 innings — rank 9 of 1406, agonisingly one short of the 59 needed to complete 50 Before a 50 against his own high score of 48. A three-time Duck of the Year (1983, 2001, 2006) and fixture of both the Ducks on the Road and Tourist Duck top 10s, Simon keeps company with an entire dynasty of Thirkells in the honours, but the tidiest coincidence is closer to home: he sits level on exactly 58 career ducks with his own sibling Nigel Thirkell, who needed 1,194 innings to get there. Some families share a garden fence. This one shares a duck tally. 📋 Week in Summary Four ducks from four matches — one per fixture bar the blank — spread neatly across Saturday and Sunday, home and away. No pairs, no king pairs, and the family ledger stayed quiet this week, though with this many Thirkells and Austins on the books it can surely only be a matter of time. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Will Thew — 5 ducks, 24 innings, 20.83% - -Matthew Ward — 4 ducks, 8 innings, 50.00% - Thomas Beeney — 4 ducks, 16 innings, 25.00% - -Adam Wright — 3 ducks, 7 innings, 42.86% - Lewis Burnham — 3 ducks, 13 innings, 23.08% Next weekend's fixtures await, and the exclusive zero club never turns anyone away. See you at the crease — briefly, one hopes. 🦆🍩

Four fixtures out on the paddock this week, and for three matches the Duck Club drew a complete blank — vegan cricket all round. But the Midweek XI, bless them, turned up against The Dragons CC on Friday and made sure the honours board didn't gather dust. 🏏 Midweek XI v The Dragons CC (home) Joe Martin fell at first drop, bowled by Joe Williams, for his 1st duck of the season and 12th of an increasingly decorated career — 65 innings in, he sits 89th of 1406 in the all-time charts. Joe is a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from way back, having opened his LPCC account with a nought all those years ago. On this very day in 1969, Percy Brattle (1934–1973, Duck of the Year that season) was also trudging back against Mote A — some anniversaries just keep quacking. In at four, Will Thirkell edged Joe Williams' second scalp of the innings, caught behind by Charlie Farrant. It's Will's 3rd duck of the campaign and 12th for the club overall from 106 innings, 94th of 1406 all-time — and he keeps it in the family, joining a positively industrial Thirkell duck dynasty that includes John (90), Tim (85), Nigel (58), Simon (57), Christopher (25) and sibling Daniel (24). A surname practically synonymous with the golden zero. Fittingly, Will also shares his moment in history with Percy Brattle, out on this same August day back in 1969. Down at seven, Will Hodges became LPCC's newest zero-hero, bowled by Ross Davies for his 1st duck of the season — and, from just two career innings, his 1st ever, slotting him in at 660th of 1406. He arrives level on career ducks with "- Howard", a brief but memorable 2006 vintage who managed the rare feat of a duck on debut, a duck to retire on, and nothing whatsoever in between — the ultimate one-and-done. Will's only just getting started; let's hope he takes the scenic route. 📊 Week in Summary Three ducks from four matches, and Joe Williams can rightly claim a personal brace for the bowling figures — striking twice inside the same Midweek collapse. Elsewhere the ducks evaded capture entirely, proving that even the exclusive zero club takes the odd week off. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard — Top 5 - Will Thew — 5 ducks / 22 innings (22.73%) - -Matthew Ward — 4 ducks / 8 innings (50.00%) - -Adam Wright — 3 ducks / 7 innings (42.86%) - Lewis Burnham — 3 ducks / 12 innings (25.00%) - Thomas Beeney — 3 ducks / 15 innings (20.00%) With -Matthew Ward's fearsome 50% strike rate leading the ignominy stakes, the race for Duck of the Year is wide open. Next fixture, someone's tally moves on — get your bat out, or don't, and we'll see you in these pages either way. 🍩0️⃣🦆

A tidy little haul for the exclusive zero club this week — six new entries in the 2012 ledger across four fixtures, proof that the art of not scoring is alive and well at Linton Park. Saturday 4 August 2nd XI at home to Dulwich CC saw Lewis Burnham shoulder arms early, ct Watts b Ward, without troubling the scorers. His 2nd duck of the season and 6th of a steadily filling career, drawing level with -Adam Wright (2011–2012, 25 innings) on that same tally — fitting company, since a certain -Adam Wright was busy adding to his own account this very weekend too. Lewis is a long-standing member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell, so bowing out is nothing new to him. Sunday 5 August 1st XI v Bells Yew Green CC turned into a bit of a Jeremy Knott benefit. Richard Piper (ct Knott b Stevens, 11 balls) fell for his 1st duck of the season but 60th of an extraordinary career — 7th on the all-time list, paid-up member of the Full House, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, and Duck of the Year back in 2003. A proper duck dynasty besides, kin ties to Brian Piper (23 career ducks, a parent-child pair) and sibling James Piper (11 career ducks). On this day in 1895, Ernest Cruttenden was performing the same trick against Rochester CC. Ray Dixon (b Knott, 2 balls) went next, his 2nd of the season and 15th career duck, level with Iain Rawson (2006–2012). Then Matthew Carter finished off Knott's afternoon with a proper golden duck — gone first ball, ct Elms b Knott — his 1st of the season and 25th of his career, drawing level with Christopher Thirkell (1998–2009). Matthew already carries Debutante Duck honours and a Duck of the Year gong from 2004. Over at Farningham CC, 2nd XI's -Adam Wright (ct Collier b Allbury-Ryman) chalked up his 3rd of the season and 6th career duck, level with Iain Cardew (1994–2012). Kin ties him to Tim Wright, a parent-child pair and fellow duck club member on 7 career noughts of his own, and -Adam is a long-standing Retirement Duck club member from a past farewell. Tuesday 7 August Lewis Burnham wasn't done. Midweek XI away to Bexley CC saw him nick off again, ct Abbas b Jeffery — a grim pair for the week, his 3rd season duck and 7th career. On this day in 1976, Colin Dicker was doing much the same against Headcorn CC. Week in summary: 6 ducks from 4 unlucky fixtures, one bowler (Jeremy Knott) doing the damage twice in a single innings, and Lewis Burnham the sole collector of a pair. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Will Thew — 20 inns, 5 ducks, 25.0% - -Matthew Ward — 8 inns, 4 ducks, 50.0% - -Adam Wright — 7 inns, 3 ducks, 42.86% - Lewis Burnham — 10 inns, 3 ducks, 30.0% - Thomas Beeney — 14 inns, 3 ducks, 21.43% The race stays wide open and the ducks show no sign of migrating. Same time next fixture — middle stump, first ball, dubious footwork all welcome 🍩0️⃣🏏🦆

Three fixtures out on the paddock this weekend and the zero club kept it modest — just the two additions, both arriving in the same innings against OD CUACO. A tidy little duo rather than a full flock, but every entry to the exclusive club of nought is one worth recording. 🏏 Saturday – 2nd XI vs OD CUACO (h) First to fall was Chris Newman, holing out at five for Billy Rouse off Abhishek Patel. It's his 2nd duck of the season and the 27th of a lengthy career, good enough to keep him lodged at 38th of 1406 in the all-time reckoning — proof that consistency of a very particular kind can be its own sort of achievement. Fittingly, on this very day back in 2001, club great Simon Thirkell (1980–2009, 57 career ducks, all-time rank 9) was also walking back for nought, against Milstead CC. Newman also carries a spot of duck heritage in the family, with relative Clive Newman sitting on 17 career noughts of his own. Not long after, Martin Harris joined him in the pavilion, caught at nine by Brian North off Rowan Clapp — his 1st duck of the season and 9th for his career, ranking him 119th of 1406 all time. Harris is no stranger to the honours boards either, a former Duck of the Year back in 2011, so this latest addition simply adds to an already decorated file. And rather neatly, he shares his moment in history with Newman — Simon Thirkell's Milstead CC duck of 2001 doing double duty as the parallel of the day. Harris, too, has poultry in the blood, with relative Jon Harris carrying a hefty 90 career ducks. Two down in the same game against OD CUACO — not quite a family affair, but a fine bit of company for one another on the walk back. Elsewhere across the weekend the bat held firm — the remaining fixtures produced nothing for the collection. The ducks, it seems, evaded capture everywhere else. 📊 Week in Summary 2 ducks from 3 matches, both compliments of the 2nd XI at OD CUACO. The art of not scoring remains alive and well, if a touch understated this week. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Will Thew — 18 inns, 5 ducks (27.78%) - -Matthew Ward — 8 inns, 4 ducks (50.00%) - Thomas Beeney — 12 inns, 3 ducks (25.00%) - Joshua Knowler — 16 inns, 3 ducks (18.75%) - Jack Gwynn — 4 inns, 2 ducks (50.00%) Plenty of season left for the chasing pack to close the gap. Roll on next weekend — the ducks are surely just resting, not retired. 🦆🍩0️⃣

🏏 Saturday — v Milstead CC (1st XI, home) Two names went into the book as Linton hosted Milstead. Daniel Thirkell fell first drop, bowled by Michael Yates, for his 24th career duck — 46th of 1406 in the all-time list — drawing him level with Matthew Carter, who reached the same tally between 2002 and 2012 in 187 innings. With Thirkells scattered thick across the honours board already, Daniel joins a clan whose combined tally would embarrass a poultry farm, and edges further up the season's Tourist Duck contenders. Down at eight, Thomas Beeney was bowled by Alex Tooke for his 21st career duck, level with Alan Boyns (1986-2011, 216 innings) and a long-standing member of the Debutante Duck and Ducks on the Road clubs. Little did Thomas know his weekend's work was only half done. 🌅 Sunday — v High Halstow CC (1st XI, away) Four more departed for nought on the road. Jack Gwynn was bowled by Josh Coates for his 3rd career duck, 239th of 1406 — on this very day back in 1973, Cliff Anscombe was performing the identical trick against Sevenoaks Vine. Nat Presneill edged behind off Jamie Taylor, caught David Sibley, to complete a flawless record — 3 career innings, 3 career ducks, a strike rate that would flatter no one. He was matched stride for stride by Cliff Anscombe's 1973 effort too, and sits already among the club's Debutante Duck and Quack-to-Quack company, standing honours from history rather than anything new. Kinsman Kevin Presneill, with 17 career ducks of his own, will approve of the family tradition continuing. Matthew Ward was trapped lbw by Ciaran Fredericks for his 4th duck of the season and of his career alike, level with Paul Ratcliffe (2009-2011, 17 innings). That vaults him into 2nd on the season charts on an alarming 57% duck rate from just 7 innings — a percentage that gets a man noticed for all the wrong reasons. And Thomas Beeney went again, bowled once more by Ciaran Fredericks, for his 22nd career duck — the third Linton man this very day to walk in Cliff Anscombe's 1973 footsteps. It completes a proper pair for the weekend: out without troubling the scorers on both Saturday and Sunday, a grim double that at least spared him the ultimate ignominy of a king pair. 📋 Six ducks fell across four fixtures this weekend, with Ciaran Fredericks personally accounting for two of them and Thomas Beeney doing the honours on both days. High Halstow clearly enjoyed Linton's generosity rather more than Milstead did. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Will Thew — 5 ducks, 17 innings (29%) 2. Matthew Ward — 4 ducks, 7 innings (57%) 3. Thomas Beeney — 3 ducks, 10 innings (30%) 4. Joshua Knowler — 3 ducks, 15 innings (20%) 5. Jack Gwynn — 2 ducks, 3 innings (67%) The ducks never take a week off, so neither do we. See you at the crease — or, more likely, back in the pavilion — next weekend. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Two fixtures on the go this weekend and the harvest was famously modest — just the one duck to report. But what it lacks in quantity, it makes up for in ceremony, because this is a debut into the exclusive zero club, and those never go unmarked. 🏏 Sunday 1st XI v Faversham CC Batting at number 8, Fraser Ritchie became the newest inductee to Linton's most dubious honours board, bowled by Stephen Freed to record his first-ever senior innings — and his first-ever senior duck. A debutante duck in the truest sense, straight onto the board reserved for those who announce themselves to the club with a nought rather than a nudge to fine leg. Fraser slots in at 475th of 1406 in the all-time standings — a career freshly opened, one entry deep — and finds instant company on exactly one career duck with "- Howard", who played a single match back in 2006, ducked in it, and never returned. Whether Fraser follows that particular script or sticks around to build a proper Duck Club CV of his own remains, delightfully, to be seen. 📅 Elsewhere The other fixture in the period passed off entirely fowl-free — eleven Linton batsmen apiece getting off the mark without incident, which is frankly no fun for anyone reading this report. One duck from two matches is a quiet weekend by Linton Duck Club standards, but a debut is a debut, and the honours board doesn't discriminate on volume. 🦆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Will Thew — 5 ducks in 15 innings (33.33%) - -Matthew Ward — 3 ducks in 6 innings (50.0%) - Joshua Knowler — 3 ducks in 13 innings (23.08%) - Nimal De Silva — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40.0%) - -Adam Wright — 2 ducks in 6 innings (33.33%) -Matthew Ward's 50% strike rate remains the standard the rest of the chasing pack can only aspire to — consistency of a very particular kind. Quiet weeks like this one are simply the calm before the next storm of quacks. The fixture list keeps coming, and with it the promise that someone, somewhere, is about to walk back to the pavilion with nothing to show for it. We'll be watching. 🍩0️⃣

A quiet one this week, Duck Club faithful. Two matches took to the field on Saturday and, remarkably, not a single soul departed for nought. Not one golden duck, not one king pair, not so much as a solitary quack to log in the ledger. The exclusive zero club held no admissions ceremony this week — every batter across both fixtures found their way off the mark, however unconvincingly. It happens. Even the art of not scoring takes the occasional rest day. Somewhere out there a duck hunter's net came back empty, and frankly it's a little unsettling — the statisticians among us are already searching for an explanation, and finding none. Still, the season marches on, and the leaderboard below shows the current standings remain fiercely contested. Form is temporary; the Duck Hunting Season table is forever. 0️⃣ Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 0️⃣ - Will Thew — 14 inns, 5 ducks (35.71%) - -Matthew Ward — 6 inns, 3 ducks (50.00%) - Joshua Knowler — 13 inns, 3 ducks (23.08%) - Matthew Gladwell — 5 inns, 2 ducks (40.00%) - Nimal De Silva — 5 inns, 2 ducks (40.00%) Spare a thought for -Matthew Ward, currently posting a 50% duck rate — a coin toss every time he walks out, and the coin isn't landing his way. 🏏 Rest assured, normal service will resume soon enough. The bowlers of Linton Park will not tolerate a fallow week for long, and somewhere on next weekend's fixture list a nervous nick, a leading edge or a first-ball surprise is surely waiting to restock the honours board. Until then — bats up, guards taken, and may your scoring shot find the middle of the bat. 🍩🦆

A quiet weekend for the ducks by Linton's usual standards — four matches, and only two brave souls answered the call. Quality over quantity, as ever, in the exclusive zero club. 🏏 Saturday — 1st XI v Meopham CC Will Thew, batting at 6, was bowled by Andrew Powney to open this week's account. It's his 5th duck of the season and 11th for his career in 62 innings, good for #105 of 1405 in the all-time standings. Will is a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from his first-ever innings, and with 5 already banked this season he currently holds the inside track on the Duck of the Year 2012 title — a crown for consistency of a very particular kind. He joins Andrew Moss, who played 1968–2008 and settled on that same 11 career ducks in 135 innings before bowing out on a duck of his own — fitting company. 🌱 Sunday — 2nd XI v Offham CC Down at Offham, Matthew Ward departed at number 10, caught by Tom Gittings off the bowling of Dave Francis. It's his 3rd duck of the season and, remarkably, his 3rd career duck full stop, in just 8 trips to the crease — triumph through adversity delivered at pace. That puts him at #209 of 1405 all time, level on career ducks with Daniel McCarthy, who took until 19 innings to reach the same mark back in 2006–07. Efficiency, of the wrong kind, clearly runs in this club. 📊 The Week in Brief Two ducks from four matches — the hunting was thin on the ground this time, with the 1st and 2nd XIs doing the only damage between them. No pairs, no family affairs, just two honest noughts added to the pile. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 2012 1. Will Thew — 5 ducks in 14 innings (35.71%) 2. Matthew Ward — 3 ducks in 6 innings (50.00%) 3. Joshua Knowler — 3 ducks in 13 innings (23.08%) 4. Matthew Gladwell — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40.00%) 5. Nimal De Silva — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40.00%) Matthew Ward's 50% strike rate is one to watch — at that pace he'll be knocking on the Duck of the Year door before the season's out. Same time next week, ducks. The nets are open, the bowlers are willing, and Linton Park's batsmen will no doubt keep obliging. 🦆🍩

Four fixtures took to the field this weekend, and the zero club welcomed three new entries into its ledger of dubious distinction. 1st XI v Staplehurst CC (home) Will Thirkell was first through the turnstile, castled by Trevor Cardon without surviving a single delivery — a golden duck of the purest kind. It's his 2nd nought of the summer and 11th of a career now 96 innings deep, holding at 105th on the all-time roll, level with Andrew Moss, who reached the same 11 across 135 innings in a career running 1968-2008 (and, fittingly, bowed out on a duck himself). The Thirkell name already carries some weight on this list, with John, Tim and Nigel among the kin quietly stacking tallies of their own. 2nd XI v Dymchurch CC (away) Jack Gwynn fell early, bowled by Daniel Newing, for his 1st duck of the season and 2nd of a young career — 12 innings in, 318th of 1405 — level with Matthew Ward, who found the same number of ducks in a rather more concentrated 7 innings across 2011-2012. Then came the main event. Luke Welsman walked out for his maiden senior innings for the club and walked straight back, bowled Sam Lancaster, without opening his account. Instant and permanent life membership of the Debutante Duck club — there is no crueller welcome to Linton Park cricket — and with only one position tried so far, he's already logged in the Full House nearly-man reckoning too. He joins Howard on exactly 1 career duck, who managed the same feat in his solitary innings back in 2006 before a career that never reopened. Here's hoping Luke's second visit to the crease proves rather longer than his first. Week in brief Three ducks from four matches, all arriving in a tidy cluster on Saturday — Sunday's sides kept their noses clean. The Dymchurch fixture alone provided a brace, top and middle order both undone without scoring. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Will Thew — 4 ducks in 12 innings (33%) - Joshua Knowler — 3 in 11 (27%) - Matthew Gladwell — 2 in 4 (50%) - Adam Wright — 2 in 5 (40%) - Matthew Ward — 2 in 5 (40%) Matthew Gladwell leads the percentage race by some distance, but with the season still to run there's ample time for the standings to turn over. 🍩 Same time next week, same dubious honour up for grabs — who fancies their chances of joining the club? 🦆🏏0️⃣

Eleven ducks across six fixtures this week — the exclusive zero club has been putting in the hours. Saturday 16 June — 2nds v Staplehurst CC Jack Valentine ran through Linton's top order like a man on commission. Tim Wright went first (b Valentine), his 1st of the season and 7th career duck, level with Laurie Probert (2008-2012, 95 innings). Will Thew followed (lbw Valentine) for his 3rd of the season and 9th career — a proud Debutante Duck club member and the club's reigning 2012 Duck of the Year, with more to come this weekend. On this day in 1970 Cliff Anscombe made his own duck against Ozonair, a date also claimed by Iain Cardew (b Valentine, 1st of the season, 6th career, fellow Debutante Duck alumnus). Joshua Knowler (b Ryan Chandler) added his 3rd of the season and 13th career, level with Ian Hollingworth, and no stranger to top billing having taken 2010 Duck of the Year. Then the ceremony of the week: number eight -Adam Wright joined his father Tim Wright on the same scorecard for a Duck and Ducklings double — dad now on 7 career ducks, son on 5, Linton's bloodlines proving strong in all the wrong ways. Sunday 17 June — away at Great Chart CC (2nd XI) Will Thew, fresh off Saturday's nought, did it again — lbw for 3 balls faced, his 4th of the season and 10th career, completing a grim weekend pair. On this day in 1997 Adrian Caddick was up to the same tricks against Maidstone Teachers. Nick Ward went one further with a golden duck first ball (b Ben Moyle) — his 1st ever, in only his 2nd senior innings — joining - Howard (2006) on exactly one career duck apiece, both charter members of the One and Done club. Sunday 17 June — Horton Kirby CC (3rd XI) David Castle, 781 innings deep and 16th on the all-time list, added career duck number 44 (b Teddy Drewer) and remains a Tourist Duck top-tenner for his troubles. Nimal De Silva (b Marc Atkinson) picked up his 2nd of the season and career, level with -Matthew Ward. Wednesday 20 June — Midweek XI v Sevenoaks & District Wednesday CC Adam Jackson (b T Morris) notched his 12th career duck, joining Gareth Davies (2003-2011) on the same tally — his sibling Rob Jackson sits just ahead on 13, a proper family trade. Sunday 17 June — NVKC away at Sibton Park CC Lewis Burnham (b Steven Rowe) brought up his 5th career duck. On this day in 1997, Adrian Caddick was doing exactly the same against Maidstone Teachers. In summary: 11 ducks, 6 matches, one golden duck, one Duck and Ducklings double, and Will Thew making a very determined bid for a season he'd rather forget. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 1. Will Thew — 11 inns, 4 ducks (36%) 2. Joshua Knowler — 10 inns, 3 ducks (30%) 3. -Adam Wright — 4 inns, 2 ducks (50%) 4. Matthew Gladwell — 4 inns, 2 ducks (50%) 5. -Matthew Ward — 5 inns, 2 ducks (40%) See you all next weekend — the scorebook awaits its next contribution. 🦆🏏

Five names presented themselves to the exclusive zero club this weekend across three fixtures. The art of not scoring remains alive and well at Linton Park. 🏏 Saturday 9 June 1st XI away at Sheldwich CC Will Thirkell walked, faced one ball, and walked straight back again — a golden duck 🥇, bowled by Phillip Stanford at first change. His first of the season takes him to 10 career ducks in 92 innings, #110 of 1403 all time, drawing level with Jack Jenner, who played 2003–2008 and reached the same 10 in just 53 innings before bowing out with a Retirement Duck to his name. Will keeps it in the family too — the Thirkell name already dominates the honours board several times over, so this is very much a case of like father, like son, like sibling, like cousin. 2nd XI at home to Sidcup CC Ray Dixon fell caught and bowled by Alex Copp at seven — his season-opener and 14th career duck, moving him to #77 of 1403. A paid-up Duck of the Year 2007, Ray finds historical company in Matt Large, who on this very day in 1992 also made nought, against Hollingbourne CC — a man whose six Duck of the Year titles make Ray's cabinet look positively modest. Matt Bramley-Harker followed at eight, caught Beresford-Webb, bowled Pule — his maiden LPCC duck from just two innings, #564 of 1403. He shares this quiet distinction with his own sibling Will Bramley-Harker, who also carries exactly one career duck — a matched pair of Bramley-Harkers, each with a single blemish and presumably some sibling rivalry brewing. Matt too joins the 1992 gathering, keeping Matt Large's name doing plenty of work this week. 🌱 Sunday 10 June Sunday 2nd XI at home to Bobbing Court and Lower Halstow CC Matthew Gladwell was trapped lbw by Roger Clay at six, his second duck of the season already and second career duck from just six innings — #328 of 1403. He draws level on the career tally with Matthew Ward, another two-duck man from six innings across 2011–2012, proof that some surnames are simply drawn to nought. Nimal De Silva was bowled by Neil Epps at seven, opening his LPCC duck account in just four innings — #579 of 1403. Rewind the calendar and on this exact day in 1961, Robert Wood made his own duck against Tovil, en route to 21 career ducks and a place on the Debutante Duck board. 📊 Week in Summary Five ducks, three matches, and the 2nd XI doing the heavy lifting with three between Saturday and Sunday. No pairs, no king pairs and no family gatherings this week — the ducks kept things refreshingly solo. 🍩 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Matthew Gladwell — 3 innings, 2 ducks, 66.67% 2. Matthew Ward — 4 innings, 2 ducks, 50.0% 3. Joshua Knowler — 7 innings, 2 ducks, 28.57% 4. Will Thew — 8 innings, 2 ducks, 25.0% 5. Matt Bramley-Harker — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100.0% Gladwell holds top spot but the chasing pack is tight — one loose shot from any of them and the standings could turn over. Next fixture, same invitation stands: the crease waits, and so does the Duck Club. 🦆0️⃣

Six fixtures out on the paddock this week and yet the Duck Club's nets came back almost empty — a lean harvest of just two, but the ceremony doesn't care about volume. Saturday 2nd June — 2nd XI away at West Farleigh CC Adam Wright, in at six, went ct Brooke b Williams for his 1st duck of the season and 4th of an LPCC career now standing at 20 innings — good enough for 181st of 1403 in the all-time table. Wright is a long-standing name on the Retirement Duck honours board from a farewell innings well in the past, so no cause for alarm there, just a routine Saturday nought. He now sits level on career ducks with Lewis Burnham (2009–2012, 39 innings, also of the Retirement Duck persuasion, 195th all-time) — kindred spirits on 4 apiece. For the genealogists: Wright shares the surname with fellow club member Tim Wright, who's quietly amassed 6 career ducks of his own. Tuesday 5th June — Anniversary XI at home to Band of Brothers CC Will Thew fell at six, bowled by Sam Traill, for his 2nd duck of the season and 8th career nought from 55 innings — 136th in the all-time reckoning. Thew is a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, his very first senior innings back in the day having yielded precisely nought, and with Duck of the Year 2012 already on his board he's shaping up as this season's man to beat — though Matthew Ward and Joshua Knowler, both also on 2 for the year, will have views on that. He draws level on career ducks with Carl Davis (1994–2009, 41 innings, 120th all-time, Retirement Duck alumnus) — a fine tally to share. Week in brief Two ducks, six matches, both victims dismissed at number six, three days apart, home and away — the position six curse marches on. Otherwise a strangely quiet week for the exclusive zero club, the kind of lull that never lasts. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏆 - Matthew Ward — 2 ducks / 3 innings (66.67%) - Joshua Knowler — 2 ducks / 6 innings (33.33%) - Will Thew — 2 ducks / 7 innings (28.57%) - Jamie Ratcliffe — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) - Adam Wright — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) Quiet weeks like this never last — next fixture will surely restock the aviary. See you at the crease, and may your visit be brief 🦆🍩0️⃣

A positively restrained week from the Duck Club faithful — five matches across the fixture list and only two brave souls answered the call of the nought. Rationing, presumably, ahead of the summer rush. Sunday 2nd XI Away at Sissinghurst CC on the 27th, Chris Newman came in at six and departed b Sam Helesfay for his 1st duck of the season — but his 26th for the club in 146 innings, tucking him into 39th spot of 1403 in the all-time roll of dishonour. That's a career of quiet consistency in the art of not scoring, and it plants him level with the great Paul Brattle, who played 1969–2008 and reached the very same 26 in 308 innings — kindred spirits separated by four decades but united on the same tally. Worth noting too that the Newman name already has form in this club: Clive Newman, a relation, carries 17 career ducks of his own, so the aptitude runs in the blood. Twenty20 Over at Marden CC, Kent, on the 31st, Joshua Knowler strode out at seven and fell b Ben Tomkinson — his 2nd duck of the season, and 12th of his career from 62 innings, good (or bad) enough for 87th of 1403 all-time. Knowler is no stranger to this stage — a paid-up name on the Duck of the Year 2010 board, and the rare distinction of having once been "Quacked by Kin" courtesy of Andrew Knowler back in that same 2010 season. This week he draws level on 12 with Gareth Davies, who plied his trade 2003–2011 and reached the same mark in 71 innings — and who, for what it's worth, holds his own Diamond Duck from 2010 for departing without facing a ball. Elsewhere in the family, Richard Knowler quietly carries 8 career ducks of his own — evidently a house where nought is a shared pursuit. Week in summary Two ducks from five matches — the flock kept its head down this week, but the season tally ticks on regardless, and nobody who has read this far believes the reprieve will last. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏆 - -Matthew Ward — 2 ducks from 3 innings (66.67%) - Joshua Knowler — 2 ducks from 3 innings (66.67%) - Jamie Ratcliffe — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) - Matthew Gladwell — 1 duck from 2 innings (50%) - Thomas Beeney — 1 duck from 2 innings (50%) A ferociously tight top of the table, with -Matthew Ward and Joshua Knowler locked together at the summit. Ward will be wary of Knowler's Twenty20 form, and vice versa — one more nought apiece and this becomes a genuine title race. Next fixture, next opportunity. The Duck Club never sleeps, and neither, apparently, do the bowlers who keep finding the edges. See you all at the crease 🏏🦆0️⃣

Four fixtures, four ducks, and the exclusive zero club welcomed its latest inductees in fine style. Let's get into it. 🏏 Saturday — 1st XI v Headcorn CC Will Thew fell to a smart run out by Kevin Richardson from number eight, chalking up his 1st duck of the fledgling 2012 campaign and his 7th for the club in 51 innings — good enough for 148th of 1402 in the all-time reckoning. A paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, having ducked on his very first outing, Will also carries the Duck of the Year 2012 honour into this very season, so this one keeps the tradition alive rather than starting it. He draws level on 7 with Laurie Probert, a stalwart of 2008-2012 who took 88 innings to reach the same total — Will's getting there rather more efficiently. 🌱 Sunday — 2nd XI v Borstal CC Borstal's Charlie Wardzynski enjoyed himself here, claiming two Linton scalps for the price of one over. Matthew Gladwell was first to go, bowled by Wardzynski for nought at first drop. It's his 1st duck of the season and, remarkably, his 1st in senior colours full stop, arriving from just 5 innings — 564th of 1402 on the leaderboard. He joins the eternally brief career of "- Howard", who managed exactly one innings for Linton back in 2006, ducked in it, and was promptly filed under One and Done and Retirement Duck in the same breath. Efficient, if nothing else. Next up, Jamie Ratcliffe also succumbed to Wardzynski, this time at number six. His 1st duck of 2012 moves him to 8 career ducks from 50 innings, 126th all time — a proper veteran of the art of not scoring, and a former Duck of the Year back in 2009. He joins Carl Davis, who reached 8 in a rather more leisurely 41 innings between 1994 and 2009. Worth noting Jamie isn't even the family specialist — his sibling Paul Ratcliffe carries 4 career ducks of his own, so the surname's dubious pedigree runs deep. Rounding things off, "-Matthew Ward" was bowled by Robin Knight for his 2nd duck of the season already, and his 2nd career duck from just 4 innings — a startling 50% strike rate for failure. He sits 264th of 1402, level with Alan Probert, who achieved the same feat in a brief 2008-2009 career before promptly retiring on one. Early days yet, but Matthew is setting quite a pace. 📊 Week in Summary Four ducks from four matches, three of them concentrated in one unfortunate Borstal innings, half of those to a single bowler. A quiet weekend by the club's standards, but the season's engine is warming up nicely. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - -Matthew Ward — 2 ducks / 2 innings (100%) - Jamie Ratcliffe — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) - Tim Thirkell — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) - Joshua Knowler — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) - Matthew Gladwell — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) Next weekend awaits, and with it, more opportunities for triumph through adversity. Get your bats out, gentlemen — the ducks certainly will. 🦆🍩0️⃣

The 2012 season has barely drawn breath and the Duck Club's books are already open. Two matches, five ducks, and the exclusive zero club welcomes its first intake of the summer. 🏏 Saturday — 1st XI v Betsham CC (h) Richard Knowler fell for nought at six, bowled by Scott Lackford — his 8th club duck from 77 innings, 130th of 1400 all-time. He draws level with Carl Davis, who reached the same tally in just 41 innings between 1994 and 2009 before signing off with a Retirement Duck of his own — Richard, happily, remains active. Thomas Beeney followed at nine, bowled by Kieran Wells, his 20th career duck from 98 innings and 59th all-time. A paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club and a regular on the Ducks on the Road top ten, Tom now sits level with Dave Todd, who compiled his 20 across a marathon 232 innings between 1978 and 2010. 🏏 Sunday — 2nd XI v XII Men (h) Joshua Knowler edged behind at eight, ct Marsh b Cooper, his 11th duck from 60 innings, 99th all-time. A former Duck of the Year (2010) and once the subject of Andrew Knowler's own Quacked by Kin, Joshua joins Adam Jackson, who reached 11 across 104 innings between 2001 and 2010. Quite the family weekend too — father Richard was among Saturday's fallen at Betsham. -Matthew Ward, in at ten, was bowled by Roche — just his 1st career duck from three innings, 375th all-time. He joins the immortal "- Howard", whose entire senior career amounted to one innings and one duck in 2006 — a genuine One and Done, and a Retirement Duck besides. Matthew, one suspects, isn't applying for that club just yet. And closing the innings at eleven, Tim Thirkell, lbw Nigel Sharp. Unremarkable on paper — except this is career duck number 85 from 859 innings, keeping Tim an imperious 3rd on the all-time roll, a former Duck of the Year (1972), Full House title-holder, and permanent resident of the Lone Duck and Homebody Duck top tens. On this very day in 2006, Craig Sands was doing much the same against Headcorn CC, en route to 17 career ducks. Tim bats among royalty at home too — father John Thirkell tops the all-time list outright on 90, brothers Nigel and Simon sit on 58 and 57. 📊 Week in Summary Five ducks from two matches, all falling to the middle and lower order — six, eight, nine, ten, eleven — while the top order kept its discipline. Every ducker logged their first of the new campaign, so the 2012 Duck of the Year race opens as a five-way tie. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. -Matthew Ward — 1 inns, 1 duck, 100% 2. Joshua Knowler — 1 inns, 1 duck, 100% 3. Richard Knowler — 1 inns, 1 duck, 100% 4. Thomas Beeney — 1 inns, 1 duck, 100% 5. Tim Thirkell — 1 inns, 1 duck, 100% A flawless, if unwanted, record all round this early on. Plenty of cricket left to separate the pack. 🍩 See you next weekend — with plenty more top orders and tail-enders due out, the ducks are sure to keep coming. Bats up, stumps guarded 🏏