🦆 The Duck Pond

A quiet weekend for the counting of runs but a fruitful one for the counting of noughts. Three ducks fell across two fixtures, and — fittingly for a club that treats failure as heritage — the Thirkell name managed to touch every single one of them. Saturday 26 September — 1st XI v Bidborough CC Nigel Thirkell departed at number six, caught P Wood bowled Doug Moore, for his 2nd duck of the season and 53rd of an extraordinary career spanning 969 innings — good enough for outright 7th place of 1238 in the all-time table. Nigel already sits comfortably among his own honours: Duck of the Year 1986, a fixture of both the Homebody and Tourist Duck top tens, and one half of Only Two Quacks with Jim Hall. The surname runs deep in the duck business too — siblings Tim (67) and Simon (34), children John (90) and Daniel (8), and cousin-in-arms Stuart (1) are all paid-up members of the family firm. And on this very day back in 1965, Roy Clarke also made a duck against Linton Park CC, one of 40 across a 1957–66 career that leaves him 14th all-time. Last man in Jon Harris kept him company, bowled Mark Murphy, for his 1st duck of the season and a staggering 75th career nought from 563 innings — the silver medal position, 2nd of 1238 all time. Jon's honours board reads like a museum wing: Full House (a duck at every position 1 to 11), Lone Duck, Homebody Duck and Tourist Duck top tens, the Debutante Duck club, and three separate Duck of the Year titles (1976, 1980, 1981), alongside Quacking Together links to both Jim Hall and Trevor Back. Son Richard carries on the tradition with 36 career ducks of his own. And remarkably, the same 1965 date claimed Roy Clarke too — Jon and Nigel keeping identical company across the decades. Sunday 27 September — 1st XI v Linton Park CC Peter Whyte fell at number five, bowled by none other than Tim Thirkell — evidently the family trade extends to dismissing others as well as suffering the duck themselves. It was Peter's 1st duck of the season and 18th of a 213-innings career, 51st of 1238 all-time. On this same day in 1964, Robert Murray also went without troubling the scorer, one of 17 ducks in a 1958–65 career that leaves him just two rungs further up the ladder at 53rd. A tidy little weekend, then: three ducks, two matches, one XI, and a Thirkell involved in every single dismissal — batting or bowling. The art of not scoring remains a proud family tradition at Linton Park. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Piers McDonald — 6 ducks, 30 innings, 20.0% 2. Ian Brattle — 4 ducks, 10 innings, 40.0% 3. Adam Pooley — 4 ducks, 21 innings, 19.05% 4. John Taylor — 3 ducks, 11 innings, 27.27% 5. Richard Piper — 3 ducks, 19 innings, 15.79% Ian Brattle's 40% strike rate keeps him firmly in the shake-up, but Piers McDonald's volume still has him out front. Plenty of season left for the standings to shuffle further. 🏏 Next fixture, next chance — the zero club never sleeps. See you all out there, and may your bat find the middle 🍩0️⃣

Six ducks across three fixtures as the season winds toward its close, plenty of last-gasp candidates padding out the tallies before the scorebooks go away for winter. Nobody troubled the golden duck lists this week — every one of the six got bat on ball before the long walk back. 🏏 Saturday 19th — Elliotts CC (away) The 2nd XI did the heavy lifting away at Elliotts, four ducks in the one innings — a genuine cluster event for the club's dubious distinction. John Taylor edged behind off Alan Ricketts for 0️⃣, his 3rd duck of the summer and, remarkably, his 3rd in an 11-innings career too — a man building his entire batting record on noughts. On this very day in 1982, David Iliffe was about the same business against Anchorians CC, en route to Duck of the Year and a spot on the Quacked by Kin roll (courtesy of Mike Iliffe). Dave Todd ran himself out for his 1st of the season, moving to 13 career ducks in 181 innings — an occasional lapse rather than a habit. Same 1982 Iliffe parallel. Paul Croucher went lbw to Steve Swindell, his 1st of the campaign and 9th overall, and does so as a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from some past farewell innings — no danger of that repeating today. Another entry on the 1982 Iliffe roll call. Closing the innings, Ian Brattle was bowled by Steve Swindell for his 4th of the season, stretching to 44 career ducks — 11th all-time — with standing membership of 50 Before a 50 (51 ducks, high score 33), Ducks in a Row (7 consecutive) and Only Two Quacks (with Michael Beeney), plus a Debutante Duck credential from his very first innings. His sibling Paul Brattle carries 26 career ducks of his own, so the family trade is in good hands. Same 1982 parallel once more — David Iliffe really got about that day. 🏏 Sunday 20th — Anchorians CC (home) The 1st XI kept the tradition ticking over at home. Richard Piper was caught and bowled by Eddie Stanford for his 3rd duck of the season, a 15th career entry that sits him 57th all-time and keeps his name on the Ducks on the Road, Full House, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck boards — a proper collector's set. His parent Brian Piper carries 20 career ducks of his own. On this day in 1997, Daniel Thirkell made a duck against Borden CC. Trevor Back was run out for his 2nd of the season, moving to a formidable 48 career ducks — 9th all-time — already decorating Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck, Lone Duck, Only Two Quacks (with Allan Cooper) and Quacking Together (with Jon Harris). Same day, same year, same Daniel Thirkell parallel. 📊 Week in summary Six ducks, three matches, one four-wicket cluster at Elliotts doing most of the damage. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Piers McDonald — 6 ducks in 29 innings (20.69%) 2. Ian Brattle — 4 ducks in 9 innings (44.44%) 3. Adam Pooley — 4 ducks in 20 innings (20.0%) 4. John Taylor — 3 ducks in 10 innings (30.0%) 5. Richard Piper — 3 ducks in 19 innings (15.79%) With three of this week's names already propping up the season table, next weekend offers fresh opportunity for the exclusive zero club to welcome new candidates. We'll be watching. 🦆

Two matches in the diary this week, and the club's ever-reliable purveyors of nought found exactly one fixture worth troubling — but oh, how they troubled it. The Midweek XI's trip against Tunbridge Wells Wednesday CC on the 16th produced a tidy brace of ducks, top and bottom of the order, as if to prove the art of not scoring respects no batting position. 🏏 Midweek XI v Tunbridge Wells Wednesday CC (home) Opening the innings and, evidently, opening the account for the day, Piers McDonald was bowled by Tedder without troubling the scorers — his 6th duck of the summer and 41st for the club, a tally that vaults him to 13th in Linton's all-time roll of dishonour, out of 1,236 names on the list. Piers already wears the Duck of the Year sash for both 1997 and 1998, and with 6 already banked this season he shows no sign of relinquishing it, a familiar face too in the Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top tens. On this very day back in 1962, Richard Ashby (1962–1995, 28 career ducks, 30th all-time) was performing the identical ceremony against Staplehurst CC — some fixtures, it seems, are written into the calendar itself. Down at number nine, Fred Cheesman kept the tradition alive, bowled by M. Radford for his 1st duck of the season and 33rd of an illustrious career, good enough for 22nd on the all-time list. Fred is a Full House member, a duck logged in every position from 1 through 11 across his career, and a two-time Duck of the Year from 1990 and 1991, proof that former glories age rather well. He now sits level on 33 with Basil Sears, who took 420 innings between 1947 and 1975 to reach the same number — Fred needed a mere 189. Efficiency, of a sort. It runs in the family too: Stuart and Steve Cheesman are already established club members on 27 and 13 career ducks respectively, so the surname clearly carries a duck gene. 📊 Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks, both from the same Midweek outing — top and tail of the order doing their bit while the rest of the XI, rather selfishly, got on with scoring runs. Elsewhere the ducks evaded the net entirely. A quiet week by Linton's exacting standards, but quality over quantity, as ever, in the exclusive zero club. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season 1998 — Leaderboard 1. Piers McDonald — 6 ducks / 27 innings (22.2%) 2. Adam Pooley — 4 ducks / 19 innings (21.1%) 3. Ian Brattle — 3 ducks / 8 innings (37.5%) 4. Mike Elworthy — 3 ducks / 19 innings (15.8%) 5. David Castle — 3 ducks / 20 innings (15.0%) Piers extends his lead at the top, though Ian Brattle's frankly alarming 37.5% strike rate from just 8 innings suggests a late charge could yet be on the cards. The season rolls on — who's next through the turnstile of the exclusive zero club? Get out there, get in, and get out for nought. We'll be watching. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Tour week brought the Tour XI down to Cornwall to face Beacon CC, and while the scenery was glorious the batting card was not. Four ducks fell in the one innings, a proper cluster that turned an away day into open season for the club's most dubious honour. 🏏 Tour XI at Beacon CC, Cornwall First to go was Richard Piper, caught by a fielder the scorer clearly couldn't name and bowled Steve Eddy at number two. It's his 2nd duck of the season and 14th of a career now 70 innings deep, good enough for 59th on the all-time list. A card-carrying member of the Ducks on the Road, Lone Duck and Homebody Duck top tens, and a Full House man who has now ducked from every position 1 to 11 — Richard really does specialise. He keeps it in the family too, with kin Brian Piper sitting on 20 career noughts of his own. Neatly, on this very day back in 1967, Roger Craddock (1966–68) also trooped off for nought, against Birchington CC — proof the calendar has form for this sort of thing. Next in was Stuart Cheesman, caught David Proctor bowled Chris Terrill at five, his 3rd of the season and 27th career duck, moving him to 32nd all-time from 157 innings. Stuart ducked on debut all those years ago and has twice been crowned Duck of the Year, in 1994 and 1996, and owns his own Full House besides. The Cheesman name runs thick with noughts — brother Steve carries 13, and kin Fred Cheesman a full 32. And who else should share Stuart's spot on the 6th of September, 1967? Roger Craddock again, out for nought at Birchington. At six, Simon Thirkell was bowled by Chris Terrill for his 1st duck of the season, but a hefty 34th of a career that puts him 20th all-time from 152 innings — a paid-up member of 50 Before a 50 (59 ducks, high score a mere 48), a former Duck of the Year in 1983, and doubly fitting today, a fixture of the Tourist Duck top ten. The Thirkell name is a duck dynasty in itself: kin John Thirkell tops the entire club charts with 90, siblings Tim and Nigel sit on 67 and 52, and the line runs on through Daniel and Stuart Thirkell besides. And yes — Roger Craddock was there in 1967 too. Rounding it off, Adam Pooley was bowled David Proctor at seven for his 4th duck of the season, taking him to 13 career and 60th all-time from just 52 innings — a rapid rise. He shares Only Two Quacks honours with both Fred Cheesman (Stuart's own kin, no less) and Paul Bowles, and is a Retirement Duck club member from a past farewell innings. Fittingly, Roger Craddock's 1967 nought completes the set for the fourth time today. 📅 Week in Summary One match, four ducks, zero survivors past the top seven — Beacon CC's bowlers clearly enjoyed the Cornish air more than the Tour XI's batting did. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Piers McDonald — 25 inns, 5 ducks (20.0%) 2. Adam Pooley — 18 inns, 4 ducks (22.22%) 3. Ian Brattle — 7 inns, 3 ducks (42.86%) 4. Mike Elworthy — 18 inns, 3 ducks (16.67%) 5. David Castle — 20 inns, 3 ducks (15.0%) Ian Brattle's 42.86% remains the number to fear. The tour rolls on — who fancies adding their name to this exclusive zero club next time out? 🦆🏏0️⃣

Four fixtures, three ducks, and the club's Cornwall tour proving that the art of not scoring travels rather well. A tidy little haul to close out the summer. Saturday 29 August — 1st XI v Herne Bay CC Stuart Cheesman got the ball rolling at number two, bowled by Paul Crow for his 1st duck of the season and 25th of an increasingly distinguished career, holding at 34th in the all-time table. A fully paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, a two-time Duck of the Year (1994 and 1996), and a Full House honoree (a duck at every position 1 to 11) — Stuart barely needs the introduction anymore. On this very day in 1954, Stan Wratten also strolled back for nought, against D Hambrook XI, on his way to 35 career ducks and 18th on the all-time list. On Tour in Cornwall — Tour XI The tour party found the Cornish air agreed with the club's oldest tradition. At Helston on 1 September, Stewart Morrison was caught at mid-off off Bradley Bury without scoring, his 2nd duck of the season and 22nd of his career, good for 43rd all time. Stewart carries the Debutante Duck badge, sits agonisingly as a Full House nearly-man on 10 of 11 positions, and features in the Lone Duck top 10 — a CV of near-misses and one very reliable miss. On this day in 1973, Tim Thirkell also departed for nought, against Whitstable CC, on the way to a club-record 67 ducks and top spot all time. Two days later at Trengilly Wartha, Stuart Cheesman was back among the wickets, bowled by B- Esses for his 2nd duck of the week and the season, and 26th of his career — a grim little pair stitched together across Kent and Cornwall, though the King Pair club remains safely out of reach for now. On this day in 1972, Benny Bell also made a duck, against Staplehurst CC, en route to 30 career noughts. Week in Summary Three ducks from four matches, two of them courtesy of the touring party, and one club stalwart doing the hard work of a pair single-handed. Quiet by Linton standards, but the ducks always know where to find the tour bus. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Piers McDonald — 25 inns, 5 ducks, 20.0% 2. Ian Brattle — 7 inns, 3 ducks, 42.86% 3. Adam Pooley — 17 inns, 3 ducks, 17.65% 4. Mike Elworthy — 17 inns, 3 ducks, 17.65% 5. David Castle — 20 inns, 3 ducks, 15.0% None of this week's names have troubled the top five yet — plenty of season left for that to change. 🏏 Next fixture awaits, and with it, no doubt, further additions to the club's most exclusive and least wanted honours board. See you at the crease — or, more likely, on the way back from it. 🍩0️⃣

A rare and faintly unsettling occurrence to report from the Linton Park estate this week: nothing. Not a single quack. Across both fixtures played on the 22nd, all comers went to the crease and, one way or another, troubled the scorer before troubling the pavilion. The exclusive zero club, so reliably oversubscribed, sat this one out entirely. Two whole matches came and went without so much as a nervous single-figure LBW shout to get the Duck Club's pulse racing. Whether this represents a sudden and alarming outbreak of competence across Linton Park's batting order, or simply the bowlers taking the weekend off, the record cannot say — only that the tally for the week stands, immovably, at 0️⃣ ducks from 2 matches. Let it be noted for posterity: this is not a triumph. The art of not scoring requires practice, dedication, and a certain fearless disregard for one's own average — and for one week only, it seems, the membership collectively forgot how. We trust normal service, and normal ignominy, resumes forthwith. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard — 1998 🥇🍩 - Piers McDonald — 5 ducks from 24 innings (20.8%) - Ian Brattle — 3 ducks from 7 innings (42.9%) — still the season's most efficient collector, pound for pound - Adam Pooley — 3 ducks from 14 innings (21.4%) - Mike Elworthy — 3 ducks from 15 innings (20.0%) - David Castle — 3 ducks from 19 innings (15.8%) Ian Brattle continues to lead the field on strike rate alone, a scandalous 42.86% duck ratio that the rest of the top five would do well to fear. Piers McDonald holds the outright lead on volume and will want to keep it that way as the season narrows toward its close. So — quiet week, but the season is young enough yet, and Linton Park's bowlers have shown before they can find a fifth stump when it matters. Next fixture, normal hostilities are expected to resume. The ducks, we are reliably informed, are merely regrouping. 🦆🏏

Slim pickings this round — just the two noughts to report — but what they lacked in volume they made up for in symmetry: both fell in the same innings, at the same ground, to the same bowler. Tim Bentall clearly fancied his chances against Linton's middle order, and Linton obliged. 🏏 Saturday — 2nd XI v Shipbourne CC (home) Opening the innings, Mike Elworthy departed without scoring, snapped up by a fielder the scorebook coyly records only as "Unsure" — an appropriately named accomplice — off Tim Bentall. It's the 3rd duck of Mike's season and the 29th of an increasingly distinguished LPCC career, now 271 innings deep and sitting 29th in the all-time rankings. A paid-up member of the Tourist Duck top 10, Mike continues his slow, stately climb up the wrong end of the table. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1964, club legend John Thirkell — the all-time record holder with 90 ducks — was busy making his own nought against Bowaters CC. Some traditions never die. Two down at first drop came Trevor Back, comprehensively bowled by the same Tim Bentall for his 1st duck of the season and 47th of his career — good enough for outright 10th on the all-time list from 405 innings. Trevor's honours board reads like a small trophy cabinet: a fixture in the Lone Duck top 10, the Homebody Duck top 10, and the Ducks on the Road top 10 simultaneously — proof he can conjure a nought whether Linton Park is home or away. He also carries standing Quacking Together billing alongside Jon Harris, LPCC's 2nd all-time duck-getter. And, as with Mike, 15 August 1964 is a date etched in the record books: John Thirkell's own duck against Bowaters CC, 34 years to the day before Trevor's. Elsewhere across the club's three fixtures this weekend, bat met ball rather more successfully — no further casualties reported. 📊 The Weekend in Brief Two ducks from three matches, both confined to a single unfortunate 2nd XI innings against Shipbourne. Tim Bentall finishes the day with a tidy brace to his name — the Duck Club extends its reluctant thanks. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Piers McDonald — 5 ducks in 23 innings (21.74%) - Ian Brattle — 3 ducks in 7 innings (42.86%) - Adam Pooley — 3 ducks in 13 innings (23.08%) - Mike Elworthy — 3 ducks in 14 innings (21.43%) - David Castle — 3 ducks in 19 innings (15.79%) Ian Brattle's 42.86% strike rate remains eye-watering — truly the art of not scoring, perfected. Mike Elworthy's Saturday effort keeps him locked in the top five, breathing down Adam Pooley's neck. Next fixture, next chance. The zero club never closes its books — bring your bat, bring your luck, and we'll see who joins the exclusive club of dubious distinction. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A quieter week in the eyes of the Duck Club statisticians, but no less notable for the three unfortunates who found themselves in the exclusive zero club across five fixtures on the weekend of the 8th and Tuesday's midweek dead-rubber at The Mote. 🏏 1st XI — Bearsted CC (home) Piers McDonald walked to the crease at 7 and walked straight back again, lbw to Andrew Dampier without troubling the scorers — a proper golden duck, out first ball and gone before the sightscreen had settled. It's his 5th of the season and 40th of a long and storied career, moving him to a formidable 13th in the all-time standings — a back-to-back Duck of the Year in 1997 and 1998, and a fixture of both the Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top tens. On this very day in 1979, Paul Brattle also strolled back for nought against Maidstone Police, one of 26 ducks across a 1969-1993 career — proof that some fixtures against the boys in blue simply demand a sacrifice. 🏏 2nd XI — Bearsted CC (away) Same opposition, same day, same misfortune. Richard Piper, also batting at 7, fell b Alistair Mills for his 1st duck of the season and 13th of his career, moving to 60th in the all-time table. Richard is a paid-up member of the Full House club — a duck recorded at every position 1 to 11, no mean feat of comprehensive failure — and sits comfortably in both the Homebody and Ducks on the Road top tens. A chip off the old block, too: his relative Brian Piper carries 20 career ducks of his own. And by happy coincidence, Richard shares his parallel with Piers above — Paul Brattle's 1979 duck against Maidstone Police keeps good company this week. 🏏 Midweek XI — The Mote CC (away) Tuesday's trip brought Mike Elworthy back for nought at number 2, bowled by Julian Sterry. His 2nd of the season and 28th of his career lifts him to 29th all-time, and draws him level on that exact tally with Richard Ashby, a Tourist Duck top-ten fixture of the 1962-1995 era who reached his 28 in 224 innings. Mike remains a Tourist Duck top-ten regular in his own right — clearly a man who travels well, in every sense but the scoring one. 📋 Week in Summary Three ducks from five matches — a modest harvest, but a tidy one, headlined by Piers McDonald's golden effort and the curious symmetry of both Linton sides falling to Bearsted CC on the same afternoon, both victims batting at number 7. Whatever Bearsted are putting in the tea, it's working. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Piers McDonald — 23 inn, 5 ducks (21.74%) 2. Ian Brattle — 7 inn, 3 ducks (42.86%) 3. Adam Pooley — 13 inn, 3 ducks (23.08%) 4. David Castle — 17 inn, 3 ducks (17.65%) 5. Christian Gatehouse — 3 inn, 2 ducks (66.67%) Piers McDonald leads the way and, on this evidence, isn't slowing down — can anyone catch him before the season's out? The bowlers of Kent will no doubt keep trying. Same time next week, same dreaded three figures on the scoreboard — the Duck Club awaits its next intake with open wings. 🦆🍩

Two fixtures on the road this bank holiday weekend, but the ducks showed a distinct preference for just the one venue. Wye CC hosted the full quacking ceremony while the other fixture passed off entirely fowl-free. Efficient targeting, or just Wye CC's bowlers having a day. Three names go on the sheet. 🏏 1st XI at Wye CC (away) Piers McDonald opened the innings and the ceremony together, caught Matthew Edge bowled Neil Redding without adding to the total. It's his 4th duck of the summer and 39th of a long and storied career — 14th in the all-time list from 331 innings, a rarefied neighbourhood. With "Duck of the Year" honours already claimed in 1997, and this season's tally keeping pace nicely with the top of the current charts, Piers remains the man to catch in 1998. He also joins the Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top tens, a frequent flyer in every sense. On this very day back in 1944, E- Humphreys was doing much the same against the National Fire Service Overseas Contingent — some traditions simply endure. Next in was David Castle at first drop, bowled by a- Spight for his 3rd duck of the season and 31st of his career, good enough for 23rd on the all-time list from a substantial 490 innings. A paid-up member of the Tourist Duck top 10, David clearly travels well, if not always fruitfully. He shares his own echo of 1944 with Piers — the same National Fire Service fixture claiming another victim on this date, 54 years to the day. And propping up the order at number 11, Ian Brattle departed bowled Colin Blaskett for his 3rd of the season. His career figure edges to 43, remarkably from just 125 innings — a strike rate that has him sat 11th in the all-time standings, and firmly established in the "50 Before a 50" club (51 ducks, high score a lofty 33), as well as a veteran of the Debutante Duck ranks and a stretch of 7 Ducks in a Row that will not be forgotten in a hurry. He shares an Only Two Quacks partnership with Michael Beeney on the honours board, and keeps it in the family too — sibling Paul Brattle carries 26 career ducks of his own, so the gene for the golden nought runs deep. Like his teammates, Ian's fall lines up with the 1944 vintage of E- Humphreys, making it a full team echo of that wartime fixture. 📊 Week in Summary Three ducks from two matches, all concentrated in a single innings at Wye CC — the away trip proving considerably more hazardous to the scorebook than the fixture it faced off against, which returned home without a single addition to the club's tally. A tidy, if slightly monotonous, weekend for the honours board. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Piers McDonald — 19 inn, 4 ducks (21.05%) 2. Ian Brattle — 6 inn, 3 ducks (50.0%) 3. Adam Pooley — 12 inn, 3 ducks (25.0%) 4. David Castle — 16 inn, 3 ducks (18.75%) 5. Christian Gatehouse — 3 inn, 2 ducks (66.67%) Piers holds the reins for now, but with Ian Brattle's fearsome 50% strike rate lurking, nobody's tally is safe. Next fixture awaits — pads on, bats ready, and the zero club standing by to welcome its newest members. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Saturday 25 July 1st XI v Sheldwich CC In at first-wicket-down, No.3 Rob Doick was run out for nought, the fielder credited only as "Unsure" — a fitting mystery for how it actually happened. It's Rob's first duck of the season and the 20th of a genuinely distinguished career, good enough for 46th on the all-time list of 1233 hopefuls, with 142 innings behind him. On this very calendar date back in 1995, Piers McDonald — twice Duck of the Year (1997 and 1998) and a fixture of both the Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top tens — was doing exactly the same thing away at Hartley Country Club CC. Some dates are simply cursed for batting. 2nd XI v Sheldwich CC (away) Down at No.11, last man Ian Brattle held the fort admirably right up until he didn't, caught T. Creed bowled J. Moses. It's Ian's second duck of the season already and the 42nd of a career that now sits 12th all-time out of 1233 — some way clear of his own sibling Paul Brattle, himself a card-carrying club member on 26. Ian's cabinet is not short of silverware either: a Debutante Duck from his very first senior innings, Ducks in a Row for seven on the spin, and Only Two Quacks shared in perpetuity with Michael Beeney, plus a "50 Before a 50" watch that's ticking louder by the week. And fittingly, that same 25 July date once again claimed Piers McDonald for nought back in 1995 — proof the curse spreads its attentions evenly. Week in Summary A quiet one by Duck Club standards 🍩 — just two ducks from three matches, both landing within minutes of each other at Sheldwich on the Saturday, and the rest of the club's fixtures passing off in disappointingly fowl-free fashion. Slim pickings, but quality over quantity: two established names in the top 50 all-time, both quietly building serious careers in the art of not scoring. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 1. Adam Pooley — 3 ducks in 11 innings (27.27%) 2. Piers McDonald — 3 ducks in 18 innings (16.67%) 3. Christian Gatehouse — 2 ducks in 3 innings (66.67%) 4. Ian Brattle — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40.00%) 5. Alan Boyns — 2 ducks in 6 innings (33.33%) Christian Gatehouse's strike rate for failure remains genuinely alarming, but Adam Pooley clings to top spot as the season enters its business end. Onward to the next fixture, where the exclusive zero club will no doubt welcome fresh members with open, ceremonial arms 🦆🏏0️⃣

Hollingbourne CC came calling on both fronts this weekend, home and away, and left the exclusive zero club considerably richer. Six new inductees, two innings, one thoroughly one-sided afternoon for the bowlers. 🏏 Saturday 18 July — 1st XI away at Hollingbourne CC A cluster of four fell in this one, a proper procession. Piers McDonald, in at first drop, bowled by Mike Donald for his 3rd of the season and 38th career duck — 16th on the all-time list. He arrives already garlanded with Duck of the Year 1997, and the boards now credit him with 1998 too, alongside top-10 places in both Lone Duck and Tourist Duck. Neatly, his 38 puts him level for company with Frank Brattle (1937–1971), who marked this very date back in 1964 with an identical fate against Rumwood CC. David Castle followed, caught by Andy Golding off Mike Donald, his 2nd of the season and 30th career — 25th all-time, a fixture of the Tourist Duck top 10. Frank Brattle, as it happens, chose this same calendar date in 1964 to do exactly the same against Rumwood CC. Stewart Morrison, caught by Bob Dyer off Dave Kay, his 1st of the season, 21st career, 44th all-time. A paid-up Debutante Duck club member from his very first knock, and agonisingly one short of the full Full House (10 of 11 positions ticked off), plus a Lone Duck top-10 regular — his brother Phillip carries a couple of career noughts of his own, so it clearly runs in the family. The ghost of Frank Brattle walked again, same date, 1964, Rumwood CC. Matt Large, caught by Geoff Griffiths off Dave Kay, his 2nd of the season and a formidable 58th career duck — 5th on the all-time list. His honours board reads like a Duck of the Year retrospective (1987, 88, 89, 92, 93, 95), stacked with Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top-10 entries, plus Full House nearly-man status. Frank Brattle kept him historic company, same date, 1964. 🏏 Saturday 18 July — 2nd XI at home to Hollingbourne CC The home side didn't escape either. Alan Boyns, caught by A W Ovenden off Steve Wilson, his 2nd of the season, 19th career, 46th all-time — a Diamond Duck laureate from 1990, out that day without troubling the bowler at all. Frank Brattle again, same date, 1964, Rumwood CC — the calendar has a long memory. Richard Ellis, bowled by Steve Wilson, his 1st of the season, 12th career, 70th all-time. A rare Quack-to-Quack club member — duck on debut and, by the club's presumptive reckoning, one marking an eventual farewell too, alongside his own Retirement Duck honour. Frank Brattle rounds off the set, same date, 1964, same opposition. 🌱 Sunday 19 July Whatever ran on Sunday kept its ducks firmly hidden — a rare clean sheet, no additions to report. 📋 Week in Summary Six ducks from two innings at Hollingbourne CC, all falling to the tidy triumvirate of Mike Donald, Steve Wilson and Dave Kay. Sunday offered nothing but relief. Three matches, six noughts, one very productive postcode. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Adam Pooley — 11 inns, 3 ducks (27.3%) 2. Piers McDonald — 16 inns, 3 ducks (18.75%) 3. Christian Gatehouse — 3 inns, 2 ducks (66.7%) 4. Alan Boyns — 5 inns, 2 ducks (40.0%) 5. Michael Beeney — 6 inns, 2 ducks (33.3%) Christian Gatehouse's rate remains eye-watering — two from three, the art of not scoring perfected early. That's the lot for this period. The next fixture awaits, and history says it rarely stays quiet for long. See you at the crease — or, more likely, on the way back from it. 🍩0️⃣

A quiet week in the exclusive zero club, ladies and gentlemen. Two fixtures were played across the period and, remarkably, not a single Linton batsman could summon the discipline required for a proper duck. Bat after bat found its way to the middle, and — against all the club's finest traditions — runs were scored. Somewhere, the ancestors of the Duck Honours Board are shaking their heads in quiet disappointment. It happens. Even the most committed practitioners of the art of not scoring need a rest week. Consistency, as we always say, is a very particular kind of thing — and this week the club was consistently not consistent, which is, in its own perverse way, its own small tragedy. 🍩 No golden ducks. No king pairs. No family affairs at the crease. Just eleven-plus batsmen per side, all getting off the mark, all denying the faithful their fix. A vegan weekend, as we've called it before — completely free from fowl. Let it not be said the Duck Club rewards idleness, though. Rest assured the regulars are merely gathering themselves for the next onslaught. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard — 1998 🏆 1. Adam Pooley — 3 ducks, 11 innings (27.27%) 2. Christian Gatehouse — 2 ducks, 3 innings (66.67%) — an eye-watering strike rate for all the wrong reasons 3. Michael Beeney — 2 ducks, 5 innings (40.0%) 4. Roly Edwards — 2 ducks, 5 innings (40.0%) 5. John Taylor — 2 ducks, 6 innings (33.33%) Christian Gatehouse remains one to watch — two ducks from just three knocks is the kind of percentage that gets a man noticed in these parts, for better or worse. 📅 The season presses on, and history tells us the ducks never stay away for long. Next fixture, someone will surely restore order — a nervous nurdle, an lbw shout, a golden first ball, and the honours board gains another entry. We watch. We wait. We celebrate. 🦆 0️⃣

Four fixtures on the go this week and the Duck Club kept its powder mostly dry — but where it struck, it struck with a flourish. Three ducks recorded, two of them sharing the same unfortunate afternoon at Gravesend. 2nd XI v West Farleigh CC (home, Saturday 4th) Alan Boyns departed at number five, caught behind by Paul Baines off the bowling of Ian Prideaux — his 1st duck of the season and 18th of an increasingly distinguished career, holding steady at 48th in the all-time standings out of 1,232. Alan remains a card-carrying member of the Diamond Duck club since 1990, when he once departed without troubling the scorer at all — this one, at least, came with a bit more of a fight. Spookily, on this very date back in 1973, Cliff Anscombe (1957–1975) was doing precisely the same thing against Northend Sunday, one of the 25 ducks that carried him to the Duck of the Year title that year. Midweek XI v Gravesend CC (away, Wednesday 8th) A costly trip for two Linton men. Phil Randall went at number four, caught by a fielder the scorebook simply logs as "Unsure" off Steve Hasler — his 1st duck of the season and 3rd for the club from 19 innings, a tidy 205th on the all-time chart. Christian Gatehouse followed him back at number eight, stumped by L Mann off the same Hasler — his 2nd duck of the season and, remarkably, his 2nd in as many career innings. Christian carries the Debutante Duck honour from a past occasion, and the Retirement Duck board sits quietly on his record too, a presumptive nod to a farewell that hasn't been confirmed — no announcements here, just the numbers speaking for themselves. Both he and Phil fell on the exact calendar date that, in 1975, saw the legendary Jim Hall (1967–1997, 73 ducks, still 3rd of all time) dismissed for nought against West Farleigh CC. Good company on a bad day. Week in Summary Three ducks from four matches, and Gravesend can claim a rare doubling — the only side to bag two Linton wickets for nought in the same innings this week. West Farleigh, not to be left out, took the other. The art of not scoring remains alive and well at Linton Park. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Adam Pooley — 3 ducks from 11 innings (27.27%) 2. Christian Gatehouse — 2 ducks from 2 innings (100.00%) 3. Michael Beeney — 2 ducks from 5 innings (40.00%) 4. Roly Edwards — 2 ducks from 5 innings (40.00%) 5. John Taylor — 2 ducks from 6 innings (33.33%) Christian Gatehouse sits second on a perfect record so far — long may it last, or rather, long may it not. 🥇🍩 Next fixtures loom, and the exclusive zero club always has room for new (or returning) members. Bring your bat, bring your luck, and we'll see who's added to the honours board next week. 0️⃣🏏🦆

A weekend of two fixtures at Linton Park, and — brace yourselves — not a single nought to report. The zero club stood down, the honours board gathered dust, and every last one of our batters had the sheer audacity to trouble the scorer. A quiet weekend indeed for connoisseurs of the golden nought. Whether this represents a sudden outbreak of competence or simply a well-timed truce with fortune, the Duck Club cannot say. What we can say is that the drought will not last — it never does. Somewhere out there, a leading edge or a peach of a yorker is already being prepared with your name on it. The Table Stands Firm With no fresh entries this week, the season standings remain exactly as they were — a rare weekend of stasis in the race for Duck of the Year. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 Adam Pooley — 3 ducks from 11 innings (27.27%) 🥈 John Taylor — 2 ducks from 5 innings (40.00%) 🥈 Michael Beeney — 2 ducks from 5 innings (40.00%) 🥈 Roly Edwards — 2 ducks from 5 innings (40.00%) 5️⃣ Piers McDonald — 2 ducks from 11 innings (18.18%) Spare a thought for John, Michael and Roly, who between them are converting two in every five visits to the crease into a walk back for nought — a strike rate the club salutes with genuine, if slightly concerned, admiration. Adam Pooley still leads the way on raw numbers, but with an innings tally in the double figures, his conversion rate at least suggests occasional signs of life at the other end. Looking Ahead A blank weekend is not a cancelled season — merely a pause for breath before the next lot of quick singles gone wrong, ambitious drives gone stray, and umpire's fingers rising all too soon. The 0️⃣ awaits its next victim, and with a top five this tightly packed, it won't be long before someone's name moves again. Bats at the ready, gentlemen — the ducks are only resting. 🦆🏏

Three fixtures out on the paddock this weekend, and the zero club welcomed five new entries — every single one of them courtesy of a Horsmonden CC attack that seemed to have Linton's number all Saturday long. 1st XI — away to Horsmonden CC Piers McDonald came in at five and went lbw to Anthony Accleton without troubling the scorer — his 2nd duck of the season and 37th in a 322-innings career, good for 16th on the club's all-time roll of dishonour. Piers is chasing back-to-back Duck of the Year honours, the 1997 crown already on the mantelpiece with 1998 shaping up nicely too, and he's a fixture of both the Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top tens. Fittingly, on this very day in 1970 Benny Bell was doing much the same against Hythe CC, one of 30 ducks across a 1966–1975 career. 2nd XI — home to Horsmonden CC The Bateup family made themselves thoroughly at home. Opening the innings, Mike Elworthy was bowled by Graham Bateup for nought — his 1st duck of the summer and 27th overall from 264 innings, 31st on the all-time list and a card-carrying Tourist Duck top-tenner. On this same day in 1970, Benny Bell was performing an identical vanishing act. At eight, Peter Dean was stumped by Andy Bateup off Peter Bateup's bowling — his 1st duck of the season and, in only his second senior knock, his first career duck, tucking him in at 511th on the all-time list. Peter already has a seat reserved on the Retirement Duck board from a previous chapter of his Linton story — no suggestion that's today's business. Benny Bell, naturally, got there first, in 1970. Roly Edwards followed at nine, caught by Andy Bateup off Chris Tyler for his 2nd duck of the campaign, taking him to 12 career ducks and 71st on the all-time table — and a share of this season's leaderboard summit at 40%. Another nod across the decades to Benny Bell's 1970 effort. And at ten, Michael Beeney was bowled by Peter Bateup for his 2nd duck of the season too, moving to 9 career ducks from 59 innings and 92nd all-time. Michael shares an "Only Two Quacks" page with Ian Brattle on the honours board and, like Peter above him, already holds a Retirement Duck credit from years gone by. Same day, same fate, same Benny Bell watching on from 1970. Week in Brief Five ducks, three matches, one thoroughly hospitable Bateup attack — Graham, Peter and Andy between them accounted for the lot. The third fixture of the weekend escaped the cull entirely, whoever they were. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Adam Pooley — 3 ducks/11 inns (27%) 2. John Taylor — 2/5 (40%) 3. Michael Beeney — 2/5 (40%) 4. Roly Edwards — 2/5 (40%) 5. Piers McDonald — 2/10 (20%) Adam Pooley still tops the pile without lifting a bat this weekend — the mark of a true specialist. Plenty of season left for the chasing pack to close the gap. 🦆 Same time next fixture, same open invitation — the zero club is always recruiting.

Two matches in the diary this week for the Midweek XI, and it took until the second of them — Wednesday's trip to Sevenoaks & District Wednesday CC — for the zero club to come collecting. The earlier fixture kept an admirably clean sheet. This one did not. Midweek XI at Sevenoaks & District Wednesday CC In at six, Adam Pooley became the first name on the sheet, held by G. Styles off the bowling of J. Grindley. It's duck number 3 for the season and 12th of an increasingly distinguished career, lifting him to 62nd on the all-time list out of 1,229 names — rarefied company for a midweek outing. Pooley already keeps company in the exclusive "Only Two Quacks" ledger alongside both Fred Cheesman and Paul Bowles from campaigns past, and eventually finds his way onto the Retirement Duck roll from a farewell long since taken. Fittingly, this very date in the calendar has form — on 17 June 1997, Adrian Caddick also trudged off for nought, against Maidstone Teachers, en route to his own 12 career ducks. Three down the order at nine, Christian Gatehouse then went st Styles b Pat Reynolds without troubling the scorer at all — and in the purest sense, since this was his very first senior innings for the club. A genuine Debutante Duck, freshly inscribed, and about as emphatic an introduction to Linton cricket as the club can offer: 1 duck from 1 innings, a flawless start to a career the honours board will no doubt be watching closely. He too arrives on the anniversary of Caddick's 1997 effort against Maidstone Teachers — a shared date if nothing else, since one imagines the two duckers' outings otherwise had little in common. Week in Summary Two ducks from two matches, both delivered inside the same over-count at Sevenoaks, and both — pleasingly for the historians — sharing a calendar anniversary with a Duck Club great from the previous decade. No pairs, no family affairs this week, just a tidy, orderly harvest. The season duck tally ticks quietly onward. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Adam Pooley — 9 inns, 3 ducks (33.3%) 2. John Taylor — 4 inns, 2 ducks (50.0%) 3. Christian Gatehouse — 1 inn, 1 duck (100.0%) 4. Darius Andrew — 3 inns, 1 duck (33.3%) 5. Ian Brattle — 3 inns, 1 duck (33.3%) Gatehouse arrives at the summit in some style — a 100% strike rate that even the club's most seasoned duck-hunters will admire, if not envy. Next fixture looms, and with it the usual promise: someone, somewhere, will walk back shaking their head. The Duck Club will be watching. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Saturday – 2nd XI v Marden CC, Kent Openers and middle order alike found the zero club irresistible at home to Marden. Paul Davey walked out at No.1 and walked back just as promptly, c Simon Day b Jon Jones. It's his maiden LPCC duck after 15 innings of quietly getting away with it, and it lands him at a respectable 504th of 1228 in the all-time standings — welcome to the club, Paul. Neatly enough, on this very day back in 1967, club legend John Thirkell also fell for nought, against Civil Service CC, Kent — and John still sits proudly at the very top of the all-time pile with 90. Speaking of the Thirkells — at No.4, Tim Thirkell edged behind, c F Taylor b R Harrison, for his 1st duck of the season and 67th of a long and illustrious career, keeping him lodged at a mighty 4th of 1228 all-time. Tim's honours board reads like a trophy cabinet: Duck of the Year 1972, Full House (a duck at every position 1-11 — commitment), and spots in the Homebody, Lone Duck and Ducks on the Road top tens, plus Quacking Together with Jim Hall. It rather runs in the family too — father John (90 career ducks), brothers Nigel (52) and Simon (33), a proper duck dynasty. Which makes today's parallel especially fitting: it was John Thirkell himself, Tim's own father and the club's all-time No.1, who ducked on this exact date in 1967. Like father, like son, right down to the calendar. Sunday – NVKC v Milstead CC Ian Brattle, holding the fort at No.11, was run out — unsure by whom, which feels appropriate for a No.11. It's his 1st duck of the season and 41st of his career, keeping him at 12th of 1228 all-time. Ian is a paid-up honours-board regular: a member of 50 Before a 50 (51 ducks against a high score of just 33 — triumph through adversity indeed), the Debutante Duck club from way back, Only Two Quacks with Michael Beeney, and — most alarmingly — Ducks in a Row for 7 consecutive noughts, a run of form only the Duck Club could applaud. His brother Paul Brattle carries 26 career ducks of his own, so the surname is doing its bit for the collection. On this same day in 1980, Mike Iliffe also fell for nought, against Rumwood CC — Mike sits just above Ian at 11th all-time on 43. Week in Summary Three ducks from three matches this weekend — a modest but perfectly formed haul, with not a golden duck among them, so the bowlers had to work for every one. Tim Thirkell continues his relentless march up the all-time charts, while Paul Davey opens his account in style. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 John Taylor — 4 innings, 2 ducks (50%) 🥈 Adam Pooley — 7 innings, 2 ducks (28.57%) 🥉 Darius Andrew — 3 innings, 1 duck (33.33%) Ian Brattle — 3 innings, 1 duck (33.33%) Paul Davey — 3 innings, 1 duck (33.33%) The season presses on, and the zero club never closes its doors. Who'll be adding their name at the next fixture? 🏏🍩0️⃣

Two fixtures, two fresh inductees, and the exclusive zero club quietly extends its membership roll once more. Saturday 30 May — 1st XI v Staplehurst CC Paul Gibson departed at first wicket down, bowled by Tim Watts without troubling the scorers. It's his 1st duck of the season and 24th for the club, from a weighty 369 innings, holding him at 37th of 1228 in the all-time standings. Paul remains a long-standing member of the Platinum Duck board, having once been out first ball of the entire game back in 1991 — this outing merely echoed that ignominy rather than repeating it. Neatly, on this very date in 1993, Alan Boyns (1986–1998, 17 ducks, 51st all-time, himself a Diamond Duck man) was also dismissed for nought, against Underriver CC. The calendar, as ever, keeps score. Sunday 31 May — 1st XI v Town Malling CC A day later and the top order wobbled again as Daniel Thirkell fell at number three, caught Uttridge bowled J-Luton for nought. It's his 1st duck of the season and 8th for the club from 73 innings — 94th of 1228 all-time, and a seat reserved on the Tourist Duck top 10. Ducking, it seems, runs thick in the blood here — Daniel bats among Thirkell royalty, with John (90 career ducks), Tim (66), his father Nigel (52), Simon (33) and Stuart (1) all fellow paid-up members of the club. On this day in 1969, Benny Bell (1966–1975, 30 ducks, 24th all-time) also walked back for nought, away at Tovil — some anniversaries never let up. Week in Summary Three matches, two ducks, and the third fixture apparently survived entirely unscathed — a rare and faintly suspicious outbreak of competence. Both this week's victims fell at first drop without scoring, each simply adding a quiet line to an already substantial ledger. 🍩 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🍩 - John Taylor — 2 ducks / 3 innings (66.67%) - Adam Pooley — 2 ducks / 7 innings (28.57%) - Darius Andrew — 1 duck / 3 innings (33.33%) - Roly Edwards — 1 duck / 3 innings (33.33%) - Michael Beeney — 1 duck / 4 innings (25%) John Taylor sits atop the pile on a fearsome 66.67%, though with only three innings behind him the percentage still has room to wobble either way. The season rolls on, and Linton Park's top order continues its generous devotion to the art of not scoring. Next weekend brings fresh opposition and, in all likelihood, fresh names for the honours board — the Duck Club never rests. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Horton Kirby CC played unwilling host to both senior sides on Saturday, and the zero club signed up five new subscriptions in a single afternoon before Kenn CC added a sixth on Tuesday. A fine opening flourish for the season's Duck Hunting. 🏏 Saturday, 1st XI at Horton Kirby Nigel Thirkell went early at three, caught Paul Love bowled Neil Pooley — his first duck of the summer and the 52nd of a career now 7th all-time from 954 innings. A 1986 Duck of the Year, a Homebody and Tourist top-tenner, and holder of a lone "Only Two Quacks" pairing with Jim Hall, Nigel bats in a dynasty of his own: kin John already owns 90 career ducks, siblings Tim and Simon sit on 66 and 33, and the next generation, Daniel and Stuart, are already on the books with 7 and 1. On this very day in 1959, Basil Sears (1947–1975, 33 ducks) fell the same way against Gore Court CC — the calendar remembers. David Castle followed soon after, caught Paul Evans bowled P Edmonds, his first of the year and 29th for the club, 28th all-time and a Tourist Duck regular. He shares Sears' 1959 anniversary too. At ten, Michael Beeney edged behind off Gordon Watts, caught J Thomas, his first of the season and 8th career duck, 98th all-time. A Retirement Duck club member from a past farewell and half of an "Only Two Quacks" pair with Ian Brattle, he too fell on the Sears anniversary — quite the gathering. 🏏 Saturday, 2nd XI at Horton Kirby John Taylor was trapped lbw by Keith Lockyer for his second duck of the season and, remarkably, his second duck full stop — just four innings into his LPCC career and already 268th all-time. Triumph through adversity at record pace, and it has him leading the whole 1998 season on a startling 66.67%. Sears was there in 1959 too, naturally. Roly Edwards was bowled by K Tidmus for his first of the year, his 11th from 94 innings and 77th all-time — another name for the Sears anniversary book. 🌱 Tuesday, Midweek XI v Kenn CC Adam Pooley, caught behind off Peter Chislett, made his second duck of the season and 11th overall from just 40 innings, up to 70th all-time. He already holds two "Only Two Quacks" pairings, with Fred Cheesman and Paul Bowles, plus Retirement Duck honours from a past farewell — a man well versed in the art of not scoring. His anniversary is more recent: on this day in 1957, Cliff Anscombe made a duck on debut against Ron Aiston's XI, later that season's Duck of the Year, finishing on 25. 📊 Week in Summary Six ducks in four matches, five of them inside one Saturday at Horton Kirby — a proper cull. No pairs, no golden ducks, every batter troubled the scorer before departing. Basil Sears, decades gone, remains this report's silent MVP. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. John Taylor — 3 inns, 2 ducks, 66.67% 2. Adam Pooley — 6 inns, 2 ducks, 33.33% 3. Darius Andrew — 3 inns, 1 duck, 33.33% 4. Michael Beeney — 3 inns, 1 duck, 33.33% 5. Roly Edwards — 3 inns, 1 duck, 33.33% Season's young, leaderboard's loose. Next fixture's ducks await — bring your bat, or don't bother. 🦆

Three matches, four visits to the exclusive zero club this weekend — the art of not scoring alive and well as May rolls on. 1st XI Saturday at Meopham CC saw Piers McDonald shoulder arms at five and depart caught M-Clark bowled Mayhew. It's duck number 36 from 315 innings, holding steady at 16th in the all-time standings — and with Duck of the Year 1997 already on the mantelpiece, this one keeps him firmly in the hunt for 1998's crown too, alongside berths on the Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top tens. Fittingly, on this very day in 1959 Bob Arnold was doing much the same against Gore Court CC, en route to 47 for his career. Sunday's trip to Hadlow CC brought Darius Andrew undone at seven, bowled S- Green. A tidy symmetry here — his very first career duck, just three innings into life at the club, landing him at 381 of 1228. On this day in 1953, Stan Wratten made his own contribution to proceedings against Mote A, one of 35 he'd rack up in a career running to 1984. 2nd XI Back at Meopham on the Saturday, the seconds contributed a pair of their own. Adam Pooley went lbw to Paul Lamb at six — his 10th career duck from 38 innings, rank 77 of 1228, and a man with real pedigree in this club, carrying Only Two Quacks honours alongside both Fred Cheesman and Paul Bowles, plus a Retirement Duck credential from a farewell long since presumed. He too shares the Bob Arnold 1959 echo. Two down and John Taylor made it three for the ground, bowled D Payne at eight — his maiden club duck from three innings, settling at 464 of 1228. Same day, same company as Bob Arnold's 1959 vintage. Week in summary Four ducks, three matches, and Meopham CC did the damage to three quarters of the field — Payne, Lamb and Mayhew between them accounting for the lot bar Darius. No pairs, no family affairs this week, just honest toil for nought all round. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - John Taylor — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) - Darius Andrew — 1 duck / 3 innings (33.3%) - Matt Large — 1 duck / 3 innings (33.3%) - Piers McDonald — 1 duck / 3 innings (33.3%) - Adam Pooley — 1 duck / 4 innings (25%) Early days yet in the 1998 race for glory. The season's next fixtures await — bring your bats, and mind the close catchers. 🦆🏏0️⃣

The 1998 hunting season is up and running, and Linton wasted no time adding to the exclusive zero club. Three fixtures across the weekend, one moment of dubious distinction to report. Saturday 9th May 1st XI — away to Rainham (Kent) CC In at number seven, Matt Large departed cheaply, bowled by Keith Morris — his 1st duck of the fledgling season and the 57th of a genuinely storied career spanning 290 innings. That keeps him locked in at a lofty 5th in the all-time Linton standings, a berth from which very few have ever managed to dislodge him. Consistency of a very particular kind. On this very day back in 1959, a young Brian Mills was going through much the same ritual against St Lukes Maidstone CC — 39 years and 141 places apart on the honours board, but united forever in the art of not scoring. Matt arrives with the full regalia already on his mantelpiece — a Debutante Duck from his very first senior innings, a fixture of the Ducks on the Road and Homebody Duck top tens, and a six-time Duck of the Year (1987, 1988, 1989, 1992, 1993, 1995) whose reign this correspondent suspects is far from over. He also sits agonisingly one position shy of the fabled Full House — ducks in 10 of the 11 batting slots — though sadly for the completists among us, number seven was already ticked off long ago. Week in Summary A surprisingly restrained weekend by Duck Club standards — three matches played, and only the one specimen brought back for the collection. Whether that speaks to improved application at the crease or merely improved fielding elsewhere, the jury remains out. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Matt Large — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% Early doors yet in the 1998 campaign, with Matt standing alone at the summit — though given his pedigree, few would bet on him keeping that leaderboard to himself for long. Roll on the next fixture, when Linton's top order, middle order, and — let's be honest — probably Matt again will all get fresh chances to add to the tally. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A quiet one this week, ducklings. One solitary fixture out at Linton Park this weekend, and for once the zero club had the locks firmly on the door. Eleven bats went out, eleven bats (presumably) troubled the scorer, and not a single soul was required to make the long, dignified walk back for nought. A blank week on the honours board is a rare thing indeed — the Duck Club exists precisely because these occasions are so hard to come by, and this was one of them. No golden ducks, no pairs, no king pairs, no family affairs of shared ignominy. Just eleven batsmen quietly getting on with the tedious business of scoring runs. Make no mistake, this is not cause for celebration in these pages. The art of not scoring is a proud Linton tradition and this week it simply wasn't practised. We can only assume the ducks are out there somewhere, sharpening their beaks, biding their time. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard The 1998 table remains a blank page — no ducks yet recorded this season to trouble the standings. A clean slate for absolutely everybody, which is either very good batting or very good luck, and we shall find out which soon enough. 📅 Looking ahead Rest assured, normal service will resume. With a full club programme still to come this season, the dreaded nought will make its return before long — and when it does, you can trust this correspondent to report it with all the pomp and ceremony it deserves. Until then: keep your bats straight, your eyes on the ball, and your fingers crossed for the rest of us. 🏏🍩