🦆 The Duck Pond

Bidborough CC came calling at Linton Park and left with just the one scalp for the collection — quiet by our usual gluttonous standards, but a scalp that mattered. 1st XI v Bidborough CC (home) Rob Jackson, walking out at seven, was undone by Robert Cook and trudged back without registering — his sixth duck of the summer and eighth of an already storied career from just 20 innings, good enough for 106th of 1280 in the all-time reckoning. Six for the season also settles the matter that the numbers had already been whispering: Rob is confirmed as Linton's Duck of the Year 2002. He remains, too, a card-carrying member of the Debutante Duck club, having opened his Linton account with a blob many years back — clearly the nought runs in the blood, given brother Adam Jackson carries 2 career ducks of his own. A neat footnote from the archive: on this very day in 1952, Ray Tippen — of the 1949–1963 vintage, and himself a Retirement Duck club member who signed off his Linton career on a nought — also walked back for nothing. Seventy-four years apart almost to the calendar day, the art of not scoring proves gloriously timeless. Week in Summary One match, one duck. A restrained weekend for the Club, but a title-deciding one — Rob Jackson's zero effectively seals this year's crown. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Rob Jackson — 6 ducks / 17 innings (35.29%) - Russell Baldwin — 5 ducks / 36 innings (13.89%) - Matthew Carter — 4 ducks / 9 innings (44.44%) - Jon Harris — 3 ducks / 10 innings (30.0%) - Adam Pooley — 3 ducks / 13 innings (23.08%) Honourable mention to Matthew Carter, whose 44% strike rate for nought remains the most alarming number in the division — a man seemingly allergic to the crease roughly every other visit. 🏏 Fixtures resume soon, and the exclusive zero club is always recruiting. Bring your bat, bring your luck, and may the noughts find you kindly. 🍩0️⃣

Three fixtures, four ducks, and the season creeping towards its curtain call. Modest numbers this week, but the quality of ignominy remains as polished as ever. Saturday 21st — 1st XI vs Elliotts CC Mike Elworthy departed at number four, bowled by Robin Tyler without scoring — his 2nd duck of the season and 37th of a long and distinguished Linton career, good enough for 18th in the all-time standings and a place among the Tourist Duck top 10. On this very day in 1958, Stan Wratten (1943–1984, 35 career ducks, a Quacking Together honouree alongside John Ames) was performing the identical trick against Tilling Steven. The zero club, it seems, keeps its anniversaries. Moments later Russell Baldwin followed him back, caught off the same relentless Robin Tyler — his 5th duck of the season and 9th career nought, ranking 95th of 1280 in the club's dishonours list. He too shares the 21st September 1958 with Stan Wratten, proving some dates are simply cursed for batting. Midweek XI vs Penshurst Mike Elworthy could not resist a second helping, bowled by K- Exton for his 3rd duck of the season and 38th career effort — a grim pair for the week, Saturday to Wednesday, and enough to draw him level with Allan Cooper (1971–1989, 38 ducks), himself no stranger to the Only Two Quacks club on three separate counts. On this day in 1960, Len Conway made his own contribution against Linton Park CC, on his way to the Debutante Duck club. And then Mark Christmas, arriving at seven and departing first ball — a proper golden duck, caught Rob Hunter off K- Exton without troubling the scorers at all. His 2nd duck of the season and 2nd of his career from just 18 innings, ranked 287th of 1280, and a card-carrying member of the Full House nearly-man club, having ducked at 10 of the 11 batting positions. He shares his golden moment's date with Len Conway's 1960 vintage. The Week in Summary Four ducks, three matches, one grim pair to Mike Elworthy and one gleaming golden duck for Mark Christmas. Not a vintage haul by Linton standards, but a fitting late-season reminder that the art of not scoring never quite goes out of season. 🦆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Rob Jackson — 5 ducks in 16 innings (31.25%) - Russell Baldwin — 5 ducks in 35 innings (14.29%) - Matthew Carter — 4 ducks in 9 innings (44.44%) — a fearsome strike rate - Jon Harris — 3 ducks in 10 innings (30.0%) - Adam Pooley — 3 ducks in 13 innings (23.08%) With the season drawing in, the leaderboard is far from settled. Roll on the next fixture — the zero club always has room for new members. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A quiet weekend on the poultry front, ladies and gentlemen. Three matches played across the club, and not a single soul troubled the Duck Club's membership desk. Every batsman who walked to the crease this weekend walked back having laid bat on ball at least once — a shocking outbreak of competence. The zero club's doors remain firmly shut. No new entrants, no pairs, no golden ducks, not so much as a nervous single-ball dismissal to report. The ducks, it seems, have migrated elsewhere for the weekend — perhaps sensing the net closing in and taking flight before the close season arrives. Do not mistake this for good news. A drought merely means the tension is building. Somewhere out there, a batsman is one badly-timed waft away from restoring order to the universe. History suggests it never stays quiet for long at Linton Park. 🏏 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard — top 5 1. Rob Jackson — 5 ducks from 16 innings (31.25%) 2. Matthew Carter — 4 ducks from 9 innings (44.44%) — the season's most efficient collector, pound for pound 3. Russell Baldwin — 4 ducks from 33 innings (12.12%) — proof that volume and patience both get you there eventually 4. Jon Harris — 3 ducks from 10 innings (30.0%) 5. Adam Pooley — 3 ducks from 12 innings (25.0%) Matthew Carter remains the man to watch as we head toward the business end of the season — a 44% strike rate for noughts is the kind of consistency the club exists to honour. Rob Jackson holds the outright lead on tally, but with Russell Baldwin quietly accumulating in the background across more than double the innings, this race is far from decided. 🦆 A blank weekend for the Duck Club, but the season isn't finished with us yet. Next fixture, someone somewhere will nick one behind first ball, and we'll be here to solemnly record it for posterity. Until then — keep those bats swinging, gentlemen, the honours board is watching.

The Duck Hunting party set off across Linton Park this weekend and returned, sheepishly, with an empty bag. One fixture played, eleven-plus wickets fell to something other than nought, and not a single soul was added to the roll of dishonour. The zero club, for once, went unrecruited. Somewhere out there a duck is laughing at us. It happens. Even the most dedicated collectors have their off weeks, and a scoreless afternoon for the Duck Club is really just everyone else having a rather good one. No golden ducks, no pairs, no family affairs to report — just eleven batsmen quietly, infuriatingly, getting off the mark. Frankly it's the kind of result that gives the Duck Club a bad name. Fear not. The season is young yet, the fixture list is long, and history tells us the ducks are never far from home. Normal service will, in all likelihood, resume shortly. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 Rob Jackson — 5 ducks from 16 innings (31.3%) 🥈 Matthew Carter — 4 ducks from 9 innings (44.4%) — the early pace-setter on percentage 🥉 Russell Baldwin — 4 ducks from 31 innings (12.9%) 4. Jon Harris — 3 ducks from 10 innings (30.0%) 5. Adam Pooley — 3 ducks from 12 innings (25.0%) Matthew Carter's 44.4% strike rate remains the number to beat — a fine art of not scoring, practised with real conviction. Rob Jackson leads on volume but Russell Baldwin's 31 innings shows the graft of a true career quacker, chipping away steadily rather than chasing headlines. So — a quiet week for the exclusive zero club, but the door remains very much open. Next fixture, someone will surely oblige. Bats at the ready, ducks incoming. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A quiet weekend on the poultry front, I'm afraid. Two fixtures came and went across Saturday and Sunday, and for once the exclusive zero club had to sit this one out. Not a single Linton batsman could manage the discipline required to nick off first ball, block one and get a leading edge, or otherwise engineer the ignominy we've all come to celebrate. Eleven batsmen a side, both days, and the Duck Hunting Season bagged precisely nothing. Frankly it's a bit much. Somewhere out there Rob Jackson is having a lie-in, Matthew Carter is resting on his laurels, and the rest of the chasing pack get a weekend's grace before the traps are reset. Consistency of a very particular kind, briefly, eluded us. Still — the art of not scoring is a marathon, not a sprint, and with a month still to run in the 2002 campaign there's no cause for alarm. The ducks are out there. They're just biding their time. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 Rob Jackson — 5 ducks in 16 innings (31.25%) 🥈 Matthew Carter — 4 ducks in 9 innings (44.44%) — the runaway rate leader, if not yet the runaway total 🥉 Russell Baldwin — 4 ducks in 30 innings (13.33%) — proof that quantity has a quality all its own 4️⃣ Jon Harris — 3 ducks in 10 innings (30.0%) 5️⃣ Adam Pooley — 3 ducks in 12 innings (25.0%) Matthew Carter remains the man to watch — a 44% strike rate for nought is the kind of form that wins Duck of the Year, not games. See you all next weekend, when normal service — batsmen departing without troubling the scorers — will surely resume. Pads on, ducks incoming. 🏏🍩0️⃣

A quiet week for the Duck Club statisticians — just three noughts recorded across seven matches — but quality over quantity, as ever, and this week's trio arrived with pedigree. 2nd XI — Meopham CC (Saturday 24th) Opening the batting and opening the Club's account for the week, Tim Thirkell was bowled by Liam Hogg without scoring. It's only his 1st duck of the season but his 73rd career nought, keeping him lodged at 4th on the all-time leaderboard — a place he's occupied so long the honours boards have practically named a wing after him: Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck, Lone Duck and the exalted Full House (a duck at every position 1-11) all bear his name, alongside a Duck of the Year crown from 1972. Fittingly, on this very day in 1968, Benny Bell (1966–1975, 30 ducks, 28th all-time) was also trudging off against Aylesford Paper Mills CC — the calendar has a long memory. Keep an eye out for brother Simon further down this report — the Thirkell name features twice this week. Tour XI — Falmouth CC (Thursday 29th) Mark Christmas became acquainted with the Duck Club for the very first time, bowled by George Popperwell for his maiden career duck — number 1 of 15 innings, and a Full House nearly-man (10 of 11 positions ticked off) in the making. On this day in 1954, Stan Wratten (1943–1984, 35 ducks, 22nd all-time) suffered the same fate against D Hambrook XI. Simon Thirkell wasn't far behind him in the same innings, caught Angove bowled Toseland for his 3rd duck of the season alone — the Thirkell sibling double now complete, with brother Tim's Saturday effort making it a big week for the family tree. Simon's tally climbs to 46 career ducks, 13th all-time, and he's chasing his own half-century of noughts — 59 needed for 50 Before a 50, with a highest score of just 48 to show for it. Two Duck of the Year titles (1983, 2001) and places in the Ducks on the Road and Tourist Duck top tens confirm he travels well, in every sense. He shares his on-this-day parallel with Mark Christmas — Stan Wratten, 1954, still watching from the pavilion. Three ducks, three different flavours of misfortune, and the Thirkell family doing its bit to keep the honours boards ticking over. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Rob Jackson — 5 ducks / 15 innings (33.33%) 2. Matthew Carter — 4 ducks / 8 innings (50.00%) 3. Russell Baldwin — 4 ducks / 30 innings (13.33%) 4. Jon Harris — 3 ducks / 10 innings (30.00%) 5. Adam Pooley — 3 ducks / 11 innings (27.27%) Matthew Carter's strike rate remains the stuff of nightmares — 50% and counting. Plenty of season left for the chasing pack to close the gap. Next fixture, next opportunity — the ducks never sleep. See you at the crease 🏏🦆

A quiet week for the exclusive zero club — just two ducks from four matches, and, curiously, both fell in the very same fixture. Shipbourne CC clearly brought something in the water. 🏏 1st XI — v Shipbourne CC (17 Aug) Stuart Cheesman, in at number 5, departed c & b N. Lee-Amies — his 1st duck of the season and 34th of a long and storied career, good enough for 25th in the all-time table. Stuart is a paid-up member of several honours boards: Debutante Duck (he ducked on debut, many moons ago), a two-time Duck of the Year (1994 and 1996), and holder of the rare Full House — a duck at every position from 1 to 11, a truly comprehensive body of work. On this very day in 1969, Percy Brattle (1934–1973) was doing much the same against Mote A, on his way to 16 career ducks of his own. Keeping it in the family, Stuart's parent-child relative Fred Cheesman carries 37 career ducks and sibling Steve Cheesman a further 14 — clearly a bloodline that knows the crease is optional. 🏏 2nd XI — v Shipbourne CC (17 Aug) Same ground, same day, same opposition, different scorebook misery: Matthew Carter, number 9, run out for nought (the fielding side apparently as "Unsure" as the rest of us how it happened). It's his 4th duck of the season already, and his 4th career duck from a mere 7 innings — a startling 57% strike rate for nothing at all, landing him 164th all-time. Matthew, too, is a Debutante Duck. And, fittingly, he shares Stuart's parallel exactly: on this day in 1969, Percy Brattle was also walking back against Mote A. 📅 Week in Summary Four matches, two ducks, both from the same afternoon at Shipbourne — everywhere else, Linton Park batsmen stubbornly insisted on scoring. No pairs, no family affairs, no king ducks this week. The ducks, it seems, took the weekend off — mostly. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Rob Jackson — 5 ducks / 15 innings (33.33%) - Matthew Carter — 4 ducks / 7 innings (57.14%) 🍩 fresh from this week - Russell Baldwin — 4 ducks / 28 innings (14.29%) - Adam Pooley — 3 ducks / 9 innings (33.33%) - Jon Harris — 3 ducks / 9 innings (33.33%) Matthew Carter now sits second in the season standings and closing — the top of the table is very much alive. Roll on the next fixture, when the club's finest will once again have every opportunity to add their name to the honours board. 0️⃣🏏🦆

Eight ducks in four matches this week, ladies and gentlemen — the exclusive zero club has been busy, and the honours board creaks under fresh additions. Sunday 1st XI v Westgate Russell Baldwin fell for his 4th duck of the season and 8th of an increasingly dubious career (96 innings, 106th all-time) — caught Sandwell, bowled Norton. Rob Jackson also departed cheaply here, opening his week's account with his 4th of the season (6th career) — more on him below. Sunday 2nd XI v Pembury CC Adam Pooley (c Clarke b Buckle) notched his 3rd of the season, 23rd career from 87 innings, 42nd on the all-time roll and already twice a member of the Only Two Quacks club, alongside Fred Cheesman and Paul Bowles. James Piper (c Collins b Buckle) moved to 2 career ducks in just 6 innings — a chip off the old block, with brother Richard (28) and father Brian (20) both well acquainted with the zero club. Ryan Boyns (c Peachey b Cole) opened his account with a maiden career duck from 7 innings — dad Alan, on 21, will be proud in his own way. A popular date for nostalgia: Baldwin, Pooley, Piper and Boyns all keep company with Daniel Thirkell (1993–2002, 16 ducks), who made his own duck on this very day back in 2001 against Shipbourne. Midweek XI v Selsdon Stewart Morrison (lbw Hartland) chalked up his 3rd of the season and 35th career from 289 innings — 23rd all-time, a Debutante Duck of old and Duck of the Year back in 2000, with a Full House still one position shy. Jon Harris (b Hartland) added his 3rd of the season, but the real headline is the career tally underneath it: 84 ducks from 601 innings, good enough for 2nd on the all-time list. A four-time Duck of the Year, Full House completist (a duck at every position, 1 to 11) and father to fellow member Richard Harris (36 ducks) — Jon remains the club's undisputed emperor of nought. And then there was Rob Jackson, back for more — c & b Shivmangal for his 5th duck of the season and 7th career, a grim pair to bookend the week after Sunday's effort at Westgate. Fittingly, he's reigning as this year's own Duck of the Year — and the table below shows why. All three Midweek duckers shared the same historical shadow: John Ames, who made a duck against Mote A on this exact date back in 1953. 📊 Week in Summary 8 ducks, 4 matches, 3 sides visited the zero club — the Saturday men, mercifully, kept their heads down and their bats occupied. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Rob Jackson — 5 ducks / 15 innings (33%) 2. Russell Baldwin — 4 ducks / 27 innings (15%) 3. Matthew Carter — 3 ducks / 6 innings (50%) 4. Adam Pooley — 3 ducks / 9 innings (33%) 5. Jon Harris — 3 ducks / 9 innings (33%) The season race is wide open. Next fixture, the zero club awaits new blood — and old faithfuls looking to add another blot to the copybook. 🍩🏏

Three fixtures on the go this weekend, and the exclusive zero club kept things relatively restrained — just the two new arrivals, both from the same ground, both from the same innings. Bexley CC, it turns out, brought out the wicket-taking best in everyone. Midweek XI v Bexley CC (5 August, home) Adam Jackson departed at number nine, snapped up by D Parmenter off the bowling of Geoffrey Burton — his second duck of the season and second of a Linton career still finding its feet, eight innings in and already 228th on the club's all-time roll of dishonour. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1895, Ernest Cruttenden — that season's Duck of the Year and a three-decade servant of the club from 1881 to 1912 — also trudged off against Rochester CC, en route to 10 career noughts of his own. Keep half an eye on the Jackson surname too: sibling Rob is no stranger to the zero club himself, a handful of career ducks already banked and currently propping up this week's leaderboard in third place. Last man Jon Harris followed him back shortly after, caught A James off Stuart Hume — his own second of the season, though barely a ripple in an ocean of futility that now stands at a mighty 83 career ducks from 599 innings, good enough for 2nd on the all-time list. Jon is, frankly, a walking honours board: a Debutante Duck from his very first innings, four Duck of the Year titles across 1976, 1980, 1981 and 1999, a Full House of ducks at every position, standing membership of the Lone Duck, Tourist Duck and Homebody Duck top tens, shared quacking history with both Jim Hall and Trevor Back, and a place in the exclusive Only Two Quacks club alongside Allan Cooper. Ducking, it seems, runs in the blood — forebear Richard Harris carries 36 career noughts of his own. The other two fixtures proved, mercifully or not, a vegan affair — not a duck laid at either. Week in summary Two ducks from three matches, both landing in the Midweek XI's lower order in the space of a few balls. A quiet weekend by Linton standards, but the season-long chase for feathers continues to simmer nicely underneath. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 - Matthew Carter — 3 ducks in 6 innings (50%) - Christopher Thirkell — 3 in 13 (23.08%) - Rob Jackson — 3 in 13 (23.08%) - Richard Piper — 3 in 22 (13.64%) - Russell Baldwin — 3 in 25 (12%) Matthew Carter leads at a frankly alarming 50 per cent strike rate — triumph through adversity, and consistency of a very particular kind. Can anyone catch him before the season's out? Bats up next fixture, ducks very much still on the loose. See you at the crease. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Four fixtures, four ducks, and the exclusive zero club welcomes a modest but perfectly formed new intake this week. Nobody troubled the golden duck ledger, but there was plenty of honest, back-to-basics failure to enjoy. Saturday 27 July — 2nd XI away at Goodnestone Park CC A trio of departures for nought as the 2nds visited Goodnestone, proving that misery loves company. Adam Jackson fell bowled by Tom Kennett for his maiden LPCC duck, first of the season and first of a career now standing at 1 in 7 innings, rank 346 of 1278. A sibling act in the making too — brother Rob Jackson already has 5 to his name and sits handily on this season's chart, so the family clearly has a taste for it. On this very day in 1952, Basil Sears was doing much the same against Folkestone CC, on his way to 33 career ducks and 25th on the all-time list. Christopher Thirkell was next, bowled by Steven Patfield for his 3rd of the season and 8th of a career now on 35 innings, rank 97 of 1278 — comfortably within reach of Full House nearly-man status, having previously ducked at 10 of the 11 batting positions. He plays under considerable family pressure, mind — the Thirkell name already carries 90, 72, 55, 45 and 16 career ducks between various relatives, so Christopher is very much the understudy in his own dynasty. Like Adam, he shares his on-this-day company with Basil Sears of 1952. Matthew Carter completed the set, also bowled by Tom Kennett, his 3rd duck of the season and, remarkably, his 3rd in just 6 career innings — a startling early strike rate, rank 208 of 1278. A paid-up Debutante Duck club member from his very first knock, Matthew shows no sign of easing off. Basil Sears keeps him company on the calendar too — quite the popular date in 1952. Wednesday 31 July — Midweek XI v Ipswich Greyhounds CC (Kent Tour XI) Adam Pooley departed caught behind off S Rutt for his 2nd duck of the season and 22nd of a well-stocked career spanning 86 innings, a lofty rank 45 of 1278. A double member of the Only Two Quacks honours board, paired separately with both Fred Cheesman and Paul Bowles, and a long-standing name on the Retirement Duck roll from a past farewell. Splendidly, on this very day in 1996 Gareth Thomas made a duck in the exact same fixture against the touring Greyhounds — some grounds simply breed noughts. Week in summary Four ducks from four fixtures, with Goodnestone Park doing the heaviest lifting. The 1st and 3rd XIs kept their sides duck-free this week — enjoy it while it lasts. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Matthew Carter — 3 ducks in 6 innings (50%) - Rob Jackson — 3 ducks in 12 innings (25%) - Christopher Thirkell — 3 ducks in 13 innings (23.08%) - Richard Piper — 3 ducks in 20 innings (15%) - Russell Baldwin — 3 ducks in 24 innings (12.5%) Matthew Carter sits top of the pile on strike rate alone — a fearsome achievement in the art of not scoring. The rest of the club watches on nervously. Next fixture awaits, and the zero club never sleeps. Get your names ready. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A modest but perfectly formed harvest this weekend: four ducks across three fixtures, the zero club opening its doors just wide enough to welcome two new arrivals to the weekend's ignominy. 🏏 Saturday — 1st XI away to Leeds & Broomfield CC Stewart Morrison, in at 7, was run out without troubling the scorers — his 2nd duck of the season and 34th of an extensive career, good enough for 24th on the all-time list of 1276. A paid-up member of the exclusive Debutante Duck club from way back, a former Duck of the Year in 2000, and a fixture of both the Full House nearly-man table and the Lone Duck top 10 — Stewart barely needs introducing to this newsletter. His sibling Phillip carries 2 career ducks of his own, so the flightless gene clearly runs in the family. On this very day in 1906, R W Mitchell (1903–1909) also strolled back for nought against the Royal West Kent Regiment CC Officers XI — some things never change. Moments later, Piers McDonald fell to T. Smith for his 1st duck of the season but a mighty 48th of his career — a staggering rank of 10th of all 1276 duckers this club has ever produced. A two-time Duck of the Year (1997, 1998) and a permanent resident of both the Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top 10s, Piers is closing in on true immortality. Fittingly, he shares his exact day of ignominy with Stewart — R W Mitchell was clearly a man of good taste in opposition, 1906 and all. 🌧️ Sunday — NVKC away to Langleybury CC Russell Baldwin was trapped lbw by J. Kahn for his 3rd duck of the season, taking his career tally to 7 and 116th on the all-time roll. Russell is quietly having a vintage summer for entirely the wrong reasons — currently sat 3rd in the season's leaderboard with 3 ducks from 24 innings. On this day in 1980, Martin Thompson (1975–1987, a Retirement Duck honouree) also fell for nought against West Farleigh CC — proof that Langleybury weather does something to a top order. Dave Charlton departed stumped, comfortably beaten down the track, for his 1st duck of the season and 24th of his career — 39th on the all-time list. His sibling Sean Charlton owns 4 career ducks of his own, so the Charltons are building a modest dynasty. Like Russell, Dave shares his fate with Martin Thompson of 1980 — a day, it seems, for quietly holing out. 📊 Week in Summary Four ducks, three matches, two clubs troubled, zero golden ducks — a week of steady, unspectacular quacking rather than fireworks. No pairs, no king pairs, and the family honours board stays untroubled for now. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Rob Jackson — 3 ducks / 10 innings (30.0%) 2. Richard Piper — 3 ducks / 19 innings (15.79%) 3. Russell Baldwin — 3 ducks / 24 innings (12.5%) 4. Matthew Carter — 2 ducks / 5 innings (40.0%) 5. Michael Beeney — 2 ducks / 5 innings (40.0%) Rob Jackson still leads the chase, but Russell Baldwin's weekend nought keeps him snapping at the heels of the top two. Next fixture, the zero club opens its books again — who'll be added to the honours board this time? 🦆🍩

Three fixtures out on the paddock this weekend and the Duck Club managed to extract precisely one contribution from it — quality, evidently, over quantity. 🏏 1st XI v Chestfield CC Steve Cheesman did the honours at number four on the Sunday, caught by an unidentified fielder off Ben Jenkins. Unsure, the scorebook says — though the outcome for Steve was entirely certain. This is his 1st duck of the 2002 campaign and his 14th for the club overall, from 102 innings, which plants him solidly at 66th of 1,276 in the all-time table of the dismissed. A place of dubious distinction indeed, and one Steve is clearly in no rush to vacate. He arrives there in good, if slightly haunted, company — on this very day back in 1956, A Hughes made a duck of his own against A.Trembeths, one of only a single career nought across a Linton career running 1956–1987, and a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club to boot. Different decade, same dismal choreography. Worth noting too that the art of not scoring runs rather deep in the Cheesman bloodline — brother Stuart carries 33 career ducks and father Fred a formidable 37, so young Steve has family precedent to lean on. No pressure, Steve. 📋 Week in Summary A quiet one for the ledger — three matches, one duck, and the rest of the club's batting line-ups conspiring to actually trouble the scorers. Whether that reflects improving technique or simply bad luck for the Duck Club's recruitment drive remains to be seen. Either way, the exclusive zero club gains one new entry for the week and the season race ticks on regardless. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Rob Jackson — 3 ducks from 9 innings (33.33%) 2. Richard Piper — 3 ducks from 18 innings (16.67%) 3. Matthew Carter — 2 ducks from 4 innings (50.0%) 4. Michael Beeney — 2 ducks from 5 innings (40.0%) 5. Christopher Thirkell — 2 ducks from 10 innings (20.0%) Matthew Carter's 50% strike rate is one to watch — consistency of a very particular kind. Rob Jackson still leads on outright volume, but with Richard Piper snapping at his heels the Duck of the Year race is far from settled. 🦆 Next fixture beckons, and with it, no doubt, fresh applicants for the honours board. Bring your bats, gentlemen — or don't bother, some would say it barely matters. See you all out there.

Only three noughts fell to the harvester across four fixtures this week, but each carries its own quiet distinction — quality over quantity, as the Duck Club always insists. 🏏 1st XI — home to Hollingbourne CC Stewart Morrison strode out at seven and departed bowled by Trevor Scrivens, his 1st duck of the season and 33rd of an illustrious career spanning 281 innings — good enough for 25th in the all-time standings. Stewart is a long-standing member of the Debutante Duck club, having ducked on his very first Linton innings, and sits proudly on the Lone Duck and Full House nearly-man boards, plus a Duck of the Year crown from 2000. On this very day back in 1968, Paul Bowles (1965–1997, 54 ducks, 8th all-time) was also walking back for nought, against Charles Arkcoll — some anniversaries just keep giving. Stewart's sibling Phillip Morrison is no stranger to the club either, with 2 career ducks of his own. 🌙 Midweek XI — away to Gravesend CC A shared fate at Gravesend, where both Jim Hall and Fred Cheesman were run out in the same innings — the Duck Club's own synchronised routine, two names added for the effort of one mix-up. Jim Hall's dismissal is his 1st duck of the season and a mighty 74th of his career, keeping him at number 3 in the all-time rankings from 476 innings — a genuine club institution, with Duck of the Year honours in 1970, 1977 and 1985, and a shelf groaning under Tourist, Homebody and Lone Duck top-10 entries besides. Fred Cheesman fell alongside him for his 1st of the season and 37th overall, holding at 18th all-time from 235 innings. Fred's own honours include Duck of the Year in both 1990 and 1991 and the rare Full House — a duck at every position 1 to 11. Both Jim and Fred share the very same parallel: on this day in 1999, Trevor Back (1973–2002, 58 ducks, 6th all-time) also made a duck against Hollingbourne CC — proof the calendar has a long memory. Fred, meanwhile, keeps it in the family, with parent-child duck-club members Stuart Cheesman (33) and Steve Cheesman (13) already carrying the torch. 📊 Week in Summary Three ducks from four matches — a modest harvest, but the Midweek XI's double run-out did its bit to keep the tally moving. No pairs, no king pairs, no family affairs this week — the ducks kept themselves to themselves. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Rob Jackson — 3 ducks / 9 innings (33.33%) 2. Richard Piper — 3 ducks / 17 innings (17.65%) 3. Matthew Carter — 2 ducks / 4 innings (50.0%) 4. Michael Beeney — 2 ducks / 5 innings (40.0%) 5. Christopher Thirkell — 2 ducks / 9 innings (22.22%) Matthew Carter's 50% strike rate remains the most alarming statistic in the club, though Rob Jackson's volume keeps him top of the pile for now. 🍩 Fixtures continue apace — who'll be adding to the ledger next week? The ducks never sleep, and neither does this correspondent. 0️⃣

A quiet weekend by Duck Club standards, but the exclusive zero club still found two new inductees to process — one apiece for the 1st and 2nd XIs — while a third fixture passed by disappointingly duck-free. 🏏 Saturday — 2nd XI at Southborough CC Opening the batting, and evidently the weekend's account, Mike Elworthy was caught Geoff Brown bowled Dave Fuller without scoring. It's the 36th duck of an extraordinarily durable career spanning 370 innings, edging him to a lofty 20th in the all-time Linton standings — a Tourist Duck top 10 place already secured in seasons past, so this one merely tops up the away-day misery. On this very date back in 1907, Ernest Cruttenden — Duck of the Year 1895, no less — was doing precisely the same thing against Town Malling CC. Some traditions never die. 🏏 Sunday — 1st XI vs Clarion CC (home) Christopher Thirkell departed for his second duck of the season without troubling the bowlers at all, run out at number six by a combination of teammates the scorebook simply logs as "unsure." His career tally climbs to 7 from 31 innings, good for 109th of 1275 in the all-time reckoning, and he remains a nearly-man on the Full House board with ten of the eleven batting positions already accounted for. The Thirkell name needs no introduction round these parts — a dynasty whose card-carrying members include John (90), Tim (72), Nigel (55) and father Simon (45), so young Christopher is very much keeping it in the family. On this same calendar date in 1956, one R- Robinson also strolled back for nought, against St Lukes Maidstone CC. 📋 Week in Summary Three matches, two ducks — a modest tally by the club's usual standards, but quality over quantity: both victims arrived with serious pedigree behind them. No pairs, no family doubles, no golden ducks this time — just honest, hard-earned failure. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Rob Jackson — 3 ducks / 9 innings (33.33%) - Richard Piper — 3 ducks / 16 innings (18.75%) - Matthew Carter — 2 ducks / 4 innings (50.00%) - Michael Beeney — 2 ducks / 5 innings (40.00%) - Christopher Thirkell — 2 ducks / 9 innings (22.22%) Thirkell's Sunday effort keeps him firmly lodged in that top five, and with Jackson and Piper deadlocked on three apiece, the Duck of the Year race is well and truly alive. 🍩 See you all at the next fixture, when the ducks will no doubt be back in season. Bring your bat, or don't bother — either way, the honours board awaits. 🦆0️⃣

A quiet weekend for the Duck Club statisticians, but the honours board never rests entirely, and one name was added to this period's small but perfectly formed ledger. 2nd XI — home to Marden CC, Kent, Saturday 22nd Alan Boyns, holding down the number 8 slot, was undone c Unsure b Sam Andrews for the solitary duck of the period. It's his 1st of the 2002 campaign and the 21st of a long and distinguished Linton career, lifting him to a lofty 49th in the all-time standings out of 1,275 names — proper company for a club this size. Alan is, of course, already a paid-up member of the Diamond Duck aristocracy, having once departed without troubling the bowler at all back in 1990 — this week's effort was, by comparison, positively laborious. Neatly enough, on this very day back in 1991, Dave Charlton also strolled back for nought — his against West Farleigh CC rather than Marden, but a duck is a duck regardless of opposition. Dave, who turned out for Linton from 1988 to 2002, retired on 23 career ducks and sits just above Alan at 42nd all-time. History, as ever, rhymes. Week in Summary Three matches played across the period and only a single duck to show for it — remarkably restrained by the Duck Club's usual standards. Whether this represents a genuine improvement in Linton's collective technique or simply a lull before the storm remains, as always, to be seen. The 1st and 3rd XIs kept their noses entirely clean, which is either very good batting or very suspicious. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Rob Jackson — 3 ducks in 8 innings (37.5%) - Richard Piper — 3 ducks in 14 innings (21.43%) - Matthew Carter — 2 ducks in 4 innings (50.0%) 🍩 - Michael Beeney — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40.0%) - Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks in 9 innings (22.22%) Matthew Carter's 50% strike rate deserves a nod of grim respect — a coin toss every time he walks out, and the coin keeps landing on nought. A slim harvest this week, but the season is young and the ducks are patient. Next fixture, normal service will no doubt resume — bring your bats, gentlemen, and try to use them. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Five deliveries claimed, five walks back to the hutch, headlined by a Sheldwich double-header that did for both senior sides in a single Saturday and a Baldwin special that stretched clean across the weekend. The exclusive zero club has had a busy few days. 🏏 Saturday 15th June — The Sheldwich Double-Header At home, Russell Baldwin departed early at number two, caught behind off R Perrett — surviving a ball or two before the inevitable. His first duck of the season nudges him to 5 career ducks, 130th on the all-time list. On this very day back in 1969, Frank Brattle was doing precisely the same thing against Bobbing Court CC, on his way to a career haul of 38. Away at Sheldwich, the 2nds fared no better. Richard Piper, bowled by Ian Hulks, chalks up his 3rd duck of the season and 28th for the club — a fixture of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, and a man who has now ducked at every position from 1 to 11 across his LPCC career, a Full House few would want on their CV. A family trade, too — father Brian carries 20 career ducks of his own, brother James a further one. Piper shares his moment with the same Frank Brattle vintage of 1969. Moments later James Vincent joined him, also bowled by Hulks, for his 2nd career duck in just 11 innings — early days in the zero club yet, but a start is a start. He too keeps company with Brattle's men of 1969. 🌱 Sunday 16th June — NVKC v Farningham CC No sooner had he sat down than Russell Baldwin was back out again, caught behind for nought a second time. Season duck number 2, career duck number 6, and a grim pair completed across the weekend — nobody escapes twice. This one echoes Cliff Anscombe's effort against Ozonair in 1970, a man who would go on to lift the Duck of the Year crown that same year. 🔥 Wednesday 19th June — Midweek XI v Sevenoaks & District Wednesday CC The big one. Jon Harris, the club's second most prolific duck-collector of all time, brought up his 82nd career duck from number ten, bowled by Glen Warner. Only the legendary John Thirkell sits above him. Harris's honours board reads like a museum catalogue — four Duck of the Year titles (1976, 1980, 1981, 1999), a Full House, Ducks on the Road and Homebody Duck top tens, and shared Quacking Together status with both Jim Hall and Trevor Back. Fittingly, his on-this-day parallel is family business — kin Richard Harris fell for nought on this exact date in 1955 against 1st Innings Hambros Bank, one of his own 36 career ducks. 📊 Week in Summary Five ducks from four matches. No golden ducks among them — everyone at least troubled the scorer before trudging off. The honours, such as they are, belong to Sheldwich CC, who claimed three Linton wickets for nought in one afternoon. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Rob Jackson — 3 ducks in 7 innings (43%) 2. Richard Piper — 3 ducks in 14 innings (21%) 3. Matthew Carter — 2 ducks in 4 innings (50%) 4. Michael Beeney — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40%) 5. Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks in 8 innings (25%) Rob Jackson leads the Duck of the Year race, with Piper hot on his heels. Roll on the next fixture — who's queuing up to join the honours board this time? 🦆🍩

A rare and troubling week for the exclusive zero club: four fixtures played, four fixtures survived without a single addition to the honours board. The ducks, it seems, went to ground. Somewhere out there eleven batsmen a match faced a new ball, a tricky nibbler, a sharp yorker, and every last one of them found a way to get off the mark. Not a golden duck, not a king pair, not so much as a nervous nudge to point followed by the long walk back. Frankly, it's the kind of consistency of a very particular kind that the Duck Club was not built to tolerate. We won't pretend this is good news. A quiet week for the collectors is a quiet week for the sport of scoring nothing at all, and the club's finest practitioners of the art of not scoring will not thank us for the drought. Rob Jackson, Matthew Carter and company have earned their standing through hard graft — or rather, hard non-graft — and a week like this does nothing to advance the cause. Still, the season is young yet and the fixture list is long. Somewhere between now and September there is a nick behind, an LBW shout upheld, a diamond-duck run-out waiting to happen. The ducks always come home to roost eventually. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard — Top 5 1. Rob Jackson — 3 ducks from 6 innings (50.0%) 2. Matthew Carter — 2 ducks from 4 innings (50.0%) 3. Michael Beeney — 2 ducks from 4 innings (50.0%) 4. Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks from 7 innings (28.57%) 5. Richard Piper — 2 ducks from 12 innings (16.67%) A tight scrap at the summit, with three men locked together on a flawless 50% strike rate. Rob Jackson holds top spot on volume alone — but with Michael Beeney and Matthew Carter breathing down his neck, this one's far from settled. 🏏 Onwards to the next round of fixtures, where normal service — eleven hopeful walks to the crease, and at least one hopeless walk back — will surely resume. Keep the pads on and the cameras ready, members. The ducks are only ever one ball away. 0️⃣🍩

Three fixtures out this weekend and the ducks were shy — just two additions to the ledger, both hatched in the very same innings at Horsmonden CC. Modest in number, not in quality. 2nd XI — Horsmonden CC (away) Matthew Carter departed at number six, bowled David White, for his 2nd duck of the season and 2nd of a young career — just 3 innings into his Linton life, so the percentages are already doing something alarming. He sits 283rd of 1274 in the all-time reckoning, and carries the Debutante Duck badge from way back, having opened his senior account with a nought some while ago. On this very day in 1903, Rev W A Carr was doing much the same against 1st Innings Maidstone CC — some traditions span centuries. 🍩 Two places down the order Rob Jackson followed him back, caught by persons Unsure off Ade LeMoine — his 3rd duck of the campaign and 5th for the club overall from 9 innings. That's enough to keep him installed as reigning Duck of the Year 2002, and he ranks 143rd of 1274 all-time. Like Carter, Rob is a paid-up Debutante Duck from an innings long past — and, fittingly, shares Carter's ghostly date-mate, since Rev W A Carr was also making his 1903 nought on this same 1st of June. Busy afternoon for the good reverend on the noticeboard. Week in Summary Two ducks from three fixtures, both from the same 2nd XI top order at Horsmonden — the other sides kept their noses clean this week. When the 2nds go quackers, apparently, they do it in pairs rather than dribbling them out one at a time. 🏏 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 - Rob Jackson — 3 ducks / 6 innings (50%) - Matthew Carter — 2 ducks / 3 innings (66.67%) - Michael Beeney — 2 ducks / 3 innings (66.67%) - Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks / 6 innings (33.33%) - Richard Piper — 2 ducks / 10 innings (20%) Jackson leads, but with three names locked on two apiece the Duck of the Year race is very much alive. Next weekend's fixtures await their own contributions to the tally — the exclusive zero club never turns anyone away. 0️⃣🦆

Three fixtures out on the paddock this weekend and the ducks proved remarkably shy — only one addition to the ledger, but it's a good one, so let's not let quality suffer for quantity. 🏏 Saturday 25 May — 2nd XI v Rumwood CC (Home) Promoted to first drop, Simon Thirkell strode out at number 4 with intent and departed rather sooner than planned, undone by Lee Marsh and sent back bowled. It's the 2nd duck of his season and the 45th of a long and distinguished career spanning 194 innings — good enough for 13th on the all-time leaderboard out of 1,274 names, a position most club cricketers would need several lifetimes to threaten. Simon is, of course, no stranger to this sort of ceremony. He's already banked his place among the 50 Before a 50 club — 59 career ducks set against a highest score of just 48, the numbers of a man who has quite firmly decided which side of the ledger he prefers. He's twice been crowned Duck of the Year, in 1983 and 2001, and remains a fixture of both the Ducks on the Road and Tourist Duck top tens, suggesting he usually saves his best (worst) work for away grounds — this one, cheekily, came at home. It also rather looks like a family trade. Between siblings Tim (72) and Nigel (55), father or offspring John (90) and Christopher (6), plus Daniel (16) and Stuart (1), the Thirkell clan have quietly amassed well over 200 career ducks between them. A dynasty in the truest sense — just not the one you'd put on the trophy cabinet. And rather beautifully, on this very day in 1970, Frank Brattle also walked back for nought, during a Linton Park career that ran from 1937 to 1971 and yielded 38 ducks — good for 17th all-time. Fifty-two years apart, same date, same fate. The zero club has a long memory. 📋 Week in Summary One duck from three matches is a quiet weekend by Duck Club standards — the other two fixtures were disappointingly vegan affairs, with batters up and down both order declining to cooperate. Still, one immaculate dismissal, a genuine family duck dynasty, and a 52-year-old historical echo is not a bad return for a bank holiday weekend. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season 2002 — Leaderboard 1. Michael Beeney — 2 ducks in 3 innings (66.67%) 2. Rob Jackson — 2 ducks in 4 innings (50.0%) 3. Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40.0%) 4. Richard Piper — 2 ducks in 8 innings (25.0%) 5. J- Ferguson — 1 duck in 1 innings (100.0%) Michael Beeney sets the early pace, but with a whole season still ahead there's time yet for the field to close in. 🥇 Next fixture beckons — the zero club never stays quiet for long. Pad up, middle stump, and may fortune find someone else this time. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Bearsted CC proved a happy hunting ground this weekend, with the exclusive zero club welcoming five new entries across three fixtures as the 2002 season gets properly into its stride. 🏏 1st XI v Bearsted CC (home) Michael Beeney departed run out without so much as taking guard — a certified Diamond Duck for 2002, out before he'd faced a ball. His 2nd of the season and 16th of a distinguished career (115 innings, 59th of 1274 all time), and a paid-up member of both the Only Two Quacks club (with Ian Brattle) and the Retirement Duck honours board from a past farewell. A chip off the old block too — son Thomas Beeney carries a career duck of his own. On this very day in 1957, William Blight also strolled back for nought, against Gore Court CC. 🏏 2nd XI v Bearsted CC (away) A grim afternoon for the tourists. Richard Piper, bowled by Jason Preston-Reeves, notched his 2nd of the season and 27th career (34th of 1274) — a Full House man with a duck at every position 1 to 11, and a fixture of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody and Lone Duck top tens. Son of Brian Piper (20 career ducks) and brother to James Piper — clearly runs in the family. Trevor Back followed, bowled Peter Court, his 1st this season but a mighty 58th overall — 6th of 1274 all time, agonisingly close to the summit, and a veteran of Only Two Quacks (with Allan Cooper) and Quacking Together (with Jon Harris). Simon Thirkell edged one to Rod Maloney off Richard Filmer for his 1st of 2002 and 44th career (13th of 1274), a proud 50 Before a 50 member and two-time Duck of the Year (1983, 2001). The Thirkell name is practically a duck dynasty — father, siblings and cousins between them stack up well over 200 career noughts. Rob Jackson, caught and bowled by Peter Court, bagged his 2nd of the season and 4th career from a mere 7 innings — a startling strike rate that has him leading the Duck of the Year 2002 race, and a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from his actual first-innings nought. All four 2nd XI victims share the same on-this-day companion: William Blight, who also made a duck on 18 May 1957, against Gore Court CC — good company to keep. 📊 Week in summary: 5 ducks from 3 matches, Bearsted's bowlers doing most of the damage. A proper season-opening purge. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Michael Beeney — 3 inns, 2 ducks, 66.7% - Rob Jackson — 4 inns, 2 ducks, 50.0% - Richard Piper — 7 inns, 2 ducks, 28.6% - J- Ferguson — 1 inn, 1 duck, 100% - Trevor Back — 1 inn, 1 duck, 100% Early days yet in the race for Duck of the Year — plenty of time for the rest of the club to make their case. See you at the next fixture, bats (and ducks) at the ready 🦆🏏0️⃣

A quiet one by the pond this week. Four fixtures out on the county's turf, and only a single soul made the long walk back without troubling the scorer. Sparse pickings for the Club — but where the flock offers scarcity, we make ceremony. Sunday 2nd XI The only fixture the ducks bothered to attend was Sunday's trip to Eynsford CC. Coming in at number 7, Rob Jackson departed via a dismissal the scorebook itself seems unsure of — c Unsure b Ben Sheaf, a shrug of the pen immortalised forever — for his 1st duck of the 2002 season and the 3rd of his career, in just 6 innings. That's 216th of 1,274 in the all-time standings, and with the season still young it keeps him seated, for now, as reigning holder of Duck of the Year 2002 — a crown he'll have to defend as the weeks roll on. Rob is also a long-standing member of the Debutante Duck club, having opened his Linton account with a nought on debut some innings back, though this outing is very much a repeat offence rather than a first. Spookily enough, on this very day back in 1906, D H Luck also trudged off for nought, against Town Malling CC no less — proof the calendar has always had a taste for cricketing misfortune. Week in Summary One duck from four matches is about as restrained as the Club gets — either the bowling wasn't sharp enough or the batting was uncharacteristically resolute. Either way, normal service will presumably resume shortly. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 1. J- Ferguson — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% 2. Matthew Carter — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% 3. Michael Beeney — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% 4. Adam Pooley — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33% 5. Rob Jackson — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33% Next weekend brings another round of fixtures and, no doubt, fresh recruits to the exclusive zero club. The ducks are out there somewhere — we'll be watching. 🦆🍩0️⃣

The 2002 season is barely a fortnight old and the exclusive zero club is already taking new members. Two matches, two ducks, and one bona fide dynasty on display. 🏏 Saturday 4th May — 2nd XI at Borden Christopher Thirkell strode out at number 8 against Borden CC and departed caught and bowled by Tim Harwood without so much as a squawk. It's duck number 6 for the season and for the career too, in 25 innings, lodging him at 118th of 1274 in the all-time charts — and edging him closer to the "Full House nearly-man" board, having now ducked in 10 of the 11 batting positions. One more berth to fill for full honours. Christopher also arrives with pedigree. The Thirkell name is practically synonymous with the noble art of not scoring — John (90), Tim (72), Nigel (55), Simon (43) and Daniel (16) between them make for one of the great duck dynasties in Linton history, with young Stuart already on the board too. A chip off a very well-qualified block. On this very day back in 1969, Stan Wratten (1943–1984, 35 ducks, 22nd all-time, a "Quacking Together" honouree alongside John Ames) was doing precisely the same thing against Bobbing Court CC. Some traditions never die. 🏏 Sunday 5th May — 1st XI at Willesborough A rather more dramatic entrance for Matthew Carter, who marked his very first senior innings for the club with a golden welcome to the crease at number 6 — caught G. Marsh, bowled A. Pieris, out for nought on debut. Straight onto the Debutante Duck honours board before he'd even had time to take guard, and 502nd of 1274 in the all-time standings on his maiden appearance. A baptism of fire, but a proud one — everyone starts somewhere, and Matthew has started at the very bottom. Fittingly, on this same day in 1974 a young Paul Bowles was also trudging back for a duck against Leeds & Broomfield — Bowles would go on to become a two-time Duck of the Year and now sits 8th on the all-time roll with a mighty 54. Matthew has a long, illustrious road of failure ahead of him if he wants to follow suit. 📊 Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks, both away from home — a quiet weekend by Linton's usual standards, but a debut duck and a family heirloom is not a bad return for early May. The season is young. There will be more. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. J- Ferguson — 1 duck / 1 inn (100%) 2. Matthew Carter — 1 duck / 1 inn (100%) 3. Michael Beeney — 1 duck / 1 inn (100%) 4. Adam Pooley — 1 duck / 2 inn (50%) 5. Christopher Thirkell — 1 duck / 3 inn (33.33%) A congested top of the table this early in the season — plenty of time for someone to pull clear. 🍩 Same time next fixture, ducks permitting. Get your bats out there and give the Duck Club something to write about. 🦆0️⃣

Three fixtures across the weekend and the Duck Club harvest was slender but not entirely bare — one lone quack recorded, and it came from a name who knows this exclusive zero club rather well. 2nd XI — New Ash Green CC (away) Richard Piper, in at first drop, fell b M- Scanlon for the club's only duck of the period. It's his 1st of the new 2002 season and the 26th of a long and distinguished career across 157 innings — good enough for 36th on the all-time list of 1,273. Richard is paid-up membership of several honours boards: Ducks on the Road top 10, Homebody Duck top 10, Lone Duck top 10, and the rare Full House — a duck at every position 1-11, a completist's curse if ever there was one. Keep it in the family too: relative Brian Piper carries 20 career ducks of his own and sibling James Piper sits on 1 — the art of not scoring evidently runs in the blood. Neatly, on this very calendar day back in 1985, LPCC great Paul Bowles also made a duck against Penshurst Park CC. Bowles finished his career with 54 ducks — 8th all-time, and a two-time Duck of the Year in 1966 and 1968 — so Richard keeps rather distinguished company on the anniversary front. Week in Summary Just the one duck from three matches this weekend — the rest of the top and middle orders keeping their heads down, or their bats straight, depending on your view. Consistency of a very particular kind was in short supply, but quality over quantity, as the Duck Club likes to say when there isn't much else to celebrate. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Adam Pooley — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) - J- Ferguson — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) - Michael Beeney — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) - Richard Piper — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) Early doors in the 2002 campaign and the board is wide open — plenty of time yet for triumph through adversity. 🍩 Next fixture, same story: bats up, arms crossed, fingers crossed. See you all out there — the ducks certainly will be. 0️⃣🏏

The 2002 campaign has barely drawn breath and the Duck Club register is already open for business. Two fixtures in the book this weekend, and it was the 1st XI who did the honourable thing at Clarion CC, banking all three of the weekend's noughts between them. A vintage start. 1st XI v Clarion CC - Adam Pooley, in at four, departed c & b P Elsden without scoring — a first duck of the season that nudges his career tally to a very tidy 21, good (or bad) enough for 48th of 1272 in the all-time table from 79 innings. That places him almost shoulder to shoulder with Robert Wood, who played 1958–1972 and needed 152 innings to reach the same 21 — sits one spot behind Pooley at 49th. Pooley remains a paid-up member of the Only Two Quacks fraternity, sharing the honour with both Fred Cheesman and Paul Bowles, and carries Retirement Duck status from whenever his own innings eventually closes. - J- Ferguson followed at eight, undone c J Elks b Peter Curran, and opens his season account with his very first LPCC duck — 1 from just 3 career innings, 465th of 1272 on the all-time list. He joins the exclusive and faintly tragic company of - Copeland, whose entire Linton career in 1979 amounted to a single innings and a single duck — the purest One and Done there is. Ferguson, too, is already logged for Retirement Duck honours, whenever that day comes. - Michael Beeney, at nine, was bowled by Peter Curran without facing so much as a genuine look at the ball — his 15th career duck, season number one, 63rd of 1272 from 113 innings, drawing level with John --'s Taylor, a name from 1949–1960 who took 143 innings to reach the same number. With the year lining up neatly against the season, Beeney's dismissal without troubling the scorer confirms his Diamond Duck status for 2002 — out without facing a ball, a rare and dubious art. He remains one half of Only Two Quacks with Ian Brattle, and a fully paid-up Retirement Duck member in waiting. Family connections run deep in the Beeney household too — kin Thomas Beeney already has a career duck of his own on the books. Week in Summary Three ducks, both matches accounted for, and the 1st XI shouldering the entire weekend's dubious distinction on their own — the middle and lower order doing the damage at four, eight and nine. A brisk, businesslike opening to the season's harvest. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Adam Pooley — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - J- Ferguson — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Michael Beeney — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% Three into the season and everyone's averaging a flawless nought. Early days yet — plenty of cricket, and plenty of opportunity, still to come. See you at the next fixture, when the register will no doubt grow again. 🦆0️⃣