🦆 The Duck Pond

A single fixture at home to Charles Arkcoll on this last Saturday of August, and the Zero Club opens its ledger three times over. No golden ducks to report this week — each of our three victims at least troubled the scorer's pencil for a ball or two before the long walk back, which in this fellowship counts as a plucky knock of sorts. 1st XI Opening the innings and opening the account for ignominy, E Cheeseman went for a duck at first wicket down, bowled J W Rowe. It is his second career duck in six innings — thirty-eighth of all 450 upon the roll — and a Duck of the Year laureate of 1935 besides, so the fellow knows his way to the pavilion by now. He draws level with the venerable B W Haynes (1891-1910), also on two career ducks, kindred spirits in the art of not scoring. At four, N Tiley fell to E A Brooks, bowled, his second career duck from a mere five innings — fifty-third of all 450. Like Cheeseman he joins B W Haynes on two career ducks apiece, proof that history repeats itself down the batting order as readily as up it. Down at nine, Frank Sutton was caught C Leeson, bowled E A Brooks, his maiden career duck from four innings, one hundred and seventh of all who have ever walked this particular plank. He joins A Barker (1885-1904), also on a single duck, among the Club's newer initiates — every great collection must start somewhere. The week in brief One match, one duck's egg apiece for three unlucky batsmen, and Charles Arkcoll's bowlers did the damage between them, E A Brooks claiming two of the three for his afternoon's work. A tidy little haul, and the tail wagged not a jot. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - E Godden — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - E Cheeseman — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33% - Frank Sutton — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33% - N Tiley — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33% - O Fryer — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33% The season's sorriest table remains keenly contested, and E Godden's early lead upon a single innings is one every member will be hoping to see challenged, or indeed spared, before too long. The eleven return to the field next Saturday, and the Club stands ready, as ever, to welcome new members into its exclusive and dubious fellowship.

🏏 A quiet day for the eleven at the crease against Bearsted CC, but the exclusive zero club welcomed two new entries to its ledger nonetheless, and honour, as ever, was served. 1st XI - Percy Brattle — bowled by Thomas Benger, and back to the pavilion with nought to his name. It is the second such entry on his card, and Mr Brattle now sits level for career ducks with a fine and eclectic company — Mr Buckoke, Mr Barker and sundry other gentlemen of 1 to 2 ducks apiece stretching back to the 1860s — proof that not scoring is a tradition older than the club itself. He now stands 53rd of 449 in the all-time reckoning. And, by a pleasing turn of the calendar, this very date in 1903 also saw C Murdoch depart for nought against Yalding CC — the ducks, it seems, keep a diary of their own. - O Fryer — run out, the fielders rather too sure of themselves for Mr Fryer's liking, departing without troubling the scorers. A first career duck this is not — his second in three innings — and he takes his place at 141st of 449 on the all-time list, sitting level in career ducks with a positively vast fraternity of one-duck men reaching back to the Victorian age. As it happens, this same date in 1903 claimed C Murdoch too, against Yalding CC, which makes the 15th of August something of a red-letter day for the art of not scoring. The Week in Brief One match, two ducks, and Bearsted CC's bowlers rather enjoying themselves at the LPCC's expense. No pairs, no families of ducks, no golden eggs to report this week — merely two plucky knocks ended before they properly began. A modest showing, but the ledger grows all the same, and Duck Club business, as ever, continues undisturbed by anything so vulgar as a big score. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. E Godden — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% 2. O Fryer — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% 3. Percy Brattle — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% A trio worth watching as the season wears on — Mr Godden currently unbeaten in his pursuit of nought, which is either a remarkable start or a cause for some concern, depending on one's point of view. 🦆 The eleven take the field again shortly, and the Duck Club committee awaits its next candidates with its usual mixture of sympathy and glee. Should the bat find no timber, gentlemen, know that a warm welcome and a place in the record book await you here.

A quiet week for the exclusive zero club, but let it never be said the ducks stood idle. One egg was laid at Bearsted, and honour, as ever, was served in full. 1st XI — away to Bearsted CC - E Godden, sent in at number eleven where hope traditionally goes to die, was bowled by R J Hall and walked back for his first duck's egg of the 1936 season. It stands as the 1st of his campaign and the 1st of a career now spanning five innings, placing him a perfectly respectable 90th of 446 upon the club's long and honourable roll of nought-makers. Modest a return as it is, this solitary duck is enough this season to see him wear the Duck of the Year 1936 sash, a distinction earned not through excess but through the purest economy of effort. Curiously, on this very date forty-five years before, in 1891, F Danells was likewise sent packing for nought against Hunton CC — a fellow of some standing in these matters, 5th of 446 all-time with six career ducks to his name, proof that the 27th of June has long had an appetite for cheap wickets. The Week in Summary One match, one duck — a modest tally, though the eleven may take some comfort in the fact that scarcity is its own sort of distinction. Bearsted's bowling, on this showing at least, found its mark early and kept it. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - E Godden — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% Steady on, gentlemen. The season stretches ahead with wickets and opportunities aplenty, and the club's doors remain wide open to any who fall before they have properly begun. Next Saturday's fixture shall no doubt furnish its own additions to the honours board.