🦆 The Duck Pond

Hartley Country Club came to call, and while the top order mostly held firm, three Linton batsmen decided the art of not scoring deserved a fresh outing. A quiet afternoon by the club's standards, but the exclusive zero club never turns anyone away. 🏏 1st XI v Hartley Country Club CC First to the crease and first to depart was John Thirkell, bowled by I Gibbons at first wicket down for his 2nd duck of the season and 57th of an extraordinary career — still Linton's undisputed number one on the all-time list, a full 550 innings deep into a reign nobody is threatening any time soon. A veteran of three separate Duck of the Year titles (1952, 1954 and 1955) and a fixture of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, John does this the way other men breathe. Neatly enough, on this very day back in 1961 John Ames also fell for nought against Linton Park — some anniversaries just keep quacking. Next in was Benny Bell, caught behind off C Cooper for his 5th duck of the season, which is also his 5th in career — a young account still very much under construction after just 16 innings, but already sat at a tidy 63rd on the all-time chart. Benny now shares his exact tally with a rather crowded table of history, from W Goad (1864–1872) through to Duck of the Year winners Jimmy Jameson (1945) and R Davison (1962) — good company for a first proper introduction to double figures territory. And completing the hat-trick of ignominy, Mike Iliffe followed at seven, caught by C Young off the same I Gibbons, his 5th duck of the season and 5th of his career too — both figures identical to Benny's, the pair now level on the ladder at 68th all time. Mike's fresh to this game, having only debuted this year, and he's already found the numbers to match players who took decades to get there. 📊 Week in Summary Three ducks, one match, and Hartley's bowlers doing rather too efficient a job of it. Gibbons alone accounted for two of the three — a spell the Duck Club committee has taken careful note of. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Paul Bowles — 7 ducks, 23 innings (30.4%) 2. Mike Iliffe — 5 ducks, 13 innings (38.5%) 🍩 3. Benny Bell — 5 ducks, 16 innings (31.3%) 4. Alan Tucker — 4 ducks, 9 innings (44.4%) 5. Richard Ashby — 4 ducks, 19 innings (21.1%) Mike Iliffe's strike rate for nothing is the standout of the lot — nearly two in every five visits to the crease ending in triumphant failure. Same time next fixture, ducks. The nought never sleeps. 0️⃣🦆

1st XI at Bowaters CC (away), Saturday 17th Openers are supposed to set the tone, and Benny Bell did exactly that, marching out first wicket down and marching straight back in again, bowled by Roy Ecclestone before he'd troubled the scorers. A tidy, unfussy nought — no fuss, no fireworks, just the quiet efficiency of a man who knows the way back to the pavilion better than the way to the crease. It's Benny's 4th duck of the summer and his 4th career quack from 15 innings, which lands him a very respectable 73rd of 820 in Linton's all-time roll of dishonour. 🥇0️⃣ And in a delightful quirk of the calendar — on this very day back in 1960, Basil Sears was going through precisely the same ritual, also nought not out against Bearsted CC. Sears (1947–1966) went on to retire with 20 ducks to his name, good enough for 11th on the all-time list, so Benny keeps rather grand company on the 17th of September. Elsewhere The second fixture of the weekend passed without incident — batsmen behaving themselves, ducks staying firmly in their pond. A rare outbreak of competence. Week in summary One duck from two matches this weekend — the Duck Club's hunting grounds ran unusually quiet, with only Benny answering the call. Consistency of a very particular kind continues elsewhere in the club, even if this week it mostly kept its head down. 🍩 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏏 1. Paul Bowles — 7 ducks / 22 innings (31.82%) 2. Alan Tucker — 4 ducks / 9 innings (44.44%) 3. Mike Iliffe — 4 ducks / 12 innings (33.33%) 4. Benny Bell — 4 ducks / 15 innings (26.67%) 5. Richard Ashby — 4 ducks / 19 innings (21.05%) Alan Tucker's 44% strike rate for nought remains the standard by which true dedication to the art of not scoring is measured — a genuine triumph through adversity. A lean week for the exclusive zero club, but the season's still young and the fixture list is long. Get out there next weekend and give the scorers something to write down — or, better still, give us all something to celebrate. 🦆0️⃣

Two matches, two visits to the crease, two long walks back. A quiet weekend for the exclusive zero club, but quality over quantity, as ever. 🏏 1st XI — Home to Reeds CC, Saturday 10th Benny Bell, in at four, departed bowled by J Doe without troubling the scorers. His third duck of the season and, remarkably, his third for his LPCC career too — a tidy symmetry not many manage. From 14 innings that puts him 96th of 820 in the all-time roll, a position of dubious distinction he shares with rather good company: on this very day in 1955, John "--'s" Taylor was also walking back against Old Roffensians, en route to 15 career ducks and a lofty 19th on the honours board. Some things, it seems, are written in the stars — or at least in the scorebook, on the same date, eleven years apart. 🏏 1st XI — Away to Staplehurst CC, Sunday 11th Frank Brattle, batting at six, fell bowled by A Thirkell — his third duck of the season, but a rather more imposing 28th of an illustrious career spanning 254 innings. That's good enough for 6th of 820 all-time, the sort of consistency of a very particular kind that takes decades to cultivate. And he's not flying solo in the family stakes either — his parent-child relation Percy Brattle already carries 5 career ducks of his own, so the art of not scoring evidently runs in the blood. Frank's nought also has a ghost in the machine: on this same day in 1954, Len Conway made his own duck against Old Roffensians, one of twelve on his way to a Debutante Duck badge and 28th in the all-time standings. 📋 Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks, one each for the 1st XI home and away — a modest but perfectly formed haul. No pairs, no golden ducks, no family affairs this week, just two seasoned campaigners quietly padding out their totals. Triumph through adversity continues apace. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Paul Bowles — 7 ducks / 22 innings (31.82%) 2. Alan Tucker — 4 ducks / 9 innings (44.44%) 3. Mike Iliffe — 4 ducks / 12 innings (33.33%) 4. Richard Ashby — 4 ducks / 19 innings (21.05%) 5. Don Clayton — 4 ducks / 28 innings (14.29%) Alan Tucker still holds the grimmest strike rate of the lot at a barnstorming 44%, though Paul Bowles leads on raw volume and shows no sign of slowing. 🥇 The season rolls on, and with it the ever-present promise that next weekend's fixtures will surely add a name or two to the list. Until then — bat well, but not too well. 🍩

A modest but perfectly formed haul this week: three ducks harvested across two fixtures, the exclusive zero club welcoming its usual mix of the seasoned and the merely unlucky. Saturday 3 September — 1st XI v St Lukes Maidstone CC (h) Terry Donovan, at number 7, was caught W Hunt bowled C Clark without troubling the scorers — his 3rd duck of the campaign and 13th of an increasingly decorated career, now 24th on the all-time list from 820 names. A former Duck of the Year (1964) and a nearly-man on the Full House board with ducks at 10 of 11 positions, Terry remains one short of true positional immortality. Neatly, on this very day back in 1944 Jimmy Jameson also walked back for nought, against the Home Guard's Royal West Kent 11th Battalion no less — some anniversaries just won't let go. At 11, Jon Harris departed caught J Beesley bowled John Francis, also without scoring. His 2nd duck of the season and, remarkably, his 2nd in only 2 career innings — a start to remember, if not fondly. Jon already holds a startling spread of honours: a Full House man himself (duck at every position 1-11), a fixture on the Lone Duck, Homebody Duck, Tourist Duck and Ducks on the Road top tens, and a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from his very first knock. He also shares Quacking Together billing with Jim Hall and Trevor Back, and Only Two Quacks company with Allan Cooper — company he is in no hurry to leave. Fittingly, like Terry, Jon's duck also falls on the same 1944 anniversary as Jimmy Jameson's. A chip off an unusual block too — his relative Richard Harris carries 36 career ducks of his own. Wednesday 7 September — Midweek XI v Birchington CC (a) Mike Iliffe, at 7, was caught M Yates bowled C Chetwynd for nought — his 4th duck of the season, and 4th of his career from just 12 innings, a fearsome 33% strike rate that plants him 84th on the all-time chart. On this day in 1963, Frank Brattle — a Linton stalwart of 1937 to 1966 with 27 career ducks to his name — also made a duck, against St Lukes Maidstone CC. The week in brief Two matches, three ducks, no pairs and no family affairs this time round — the ducks kept themselves to themselves. Fitting that both 1st XI victims fell on the same day in cricketing history as a wartime forebear 22 years their senior. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 Paul Bowles — 7 ducks, 20 innings, 35.0% 🥈 Alan Tucker — 4 ducks, 9 innings, 44.44% 🥉 Mike Iliffe — 4 ducks, 12 innings, 33.33% 4. Richard Ashby — 4 ducks, 19 innings, 21.05% 5. Don Clayton — 4 ducks, 28 innings, 14.29% Mike Iliffe's Wednesday nought vaults him straight into podium contention — one to watch as the season enters its closing stretch. Roll on the next fixture, LPCC — the zero club never sleeps. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A quiet week for the exclusive zero club, but quality over quantity — both of this week's ducks arrived in the same innings, off the same bowler, at the same ground. Bryan Elswood clearly fancied his chances against Linton Park at Bearsted on the 29th, and history duly obliged him twice. 🏏 1st XI — Bearsted CC (away) First to fall was Fred Greenfield, cleaned up by Bryan Elswood at number five. It's duck number two of the season for Fred and the 10th of a career now standing at 69 innings — good enough for 34th on the all-time list, a position he shares in spirit with Don Hartridge, Ernest Cruttenden and William Blight, all three also parked on 10. Fred is, of course, a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck honours board from a past farewell innings, so no fresh alarm bells there — merely a reminder that the club never forgets. And on this very day back in 1954, the great Stan Wratten was doing much the same thing against D Hambrook XI, en route to 27 career ducks and 8th place on the all-time roll of dishonour. Four down the order, Derry Evans joined him in the walk of shame, also bowled by the relentless Elswood — a tidy brace of scalps for the bowler and a shared miserable afternoon for Linton Park. It's Derry's second duck of the season and, fittingly, his second for the club overall, from just 12 innings — a career very much in its infancy on the honours board, currently sat at 137th of 819. Derry too finds himself keeping Stan Wratten company from 1954, proof that some Augusts simply repeat themselves. 📊 Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks — both from the same fixture, both off the same bowler. The other match came and went without troubling the scorers of nought, a rare mercy. Bryan Elswood, if he's reading this, has our reluctant admiration. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Colin Eldred — 3 ducks from 4 innings (75.00%) 2. Alan Tucker — 4 ducks from 9 innings (44.44%) 3. Paul Bowles — 7 ducks from 19 innings (36.84%) 4. Richard Ashby — 4 ducks from 18 innings (22.22%) 5. Don Clayton — 4 ducks from 27 innings (14.81%) Colin Eldred continues to make not scoring look like a full-time occupation. Roll on the next fixture — the ducks, as ever, will be waiting.

A quiet weekend for the connoisseurs of the nought. Two matches were played across the 20th and 21st and, remarkably, not a single duck was laid at either ground. Every batsman who walked to the crease at least troubled the scorers before departing — a shocking outbreak of competence that the Duck Club can only view with suspicion. Some might call this "good batting". We call it a wasted opportunity. The zero club's membership secretary reports no new inductions, no pairs, no golden ducks, and certainly no families quietly uniting in shared ignominy. The art of not scoring, it seems, took the weekend off. Still, the season standings remain fiercely contested, and nobody at the top of this table got there by accident. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🥇 - Paul Bowles — 7 ducks from 17 innings (41.2%). The clear pacesetter, and a man seemingly allergic to the middle of the bat. - Alan Tucker — 4 ducks from just 9 innings (44.4%). The highest strike rate in the top five, in the very worst sense. - Richard Ashby — 4 ducks from 17 innings (23.5%). Consistency of a very particular kind. - Don Clayton — 4 ducks from 25 innings (16.0%). Getting there the scenic way. - Colin Eldred — 3 ducks from just 4 innings (75.0%) 🍩. Four trips to the crease, three of them fruitless. Genuinely heroic arithmetic. Alan Tucker will look at Colin Eldred's 75% and feel he still has work to do. Bowles, meanwhile, sits comfortably atop the pile with the quiet confidence of a man who knows the season is far from over. 📅 Next time out, normal service should resume. The pitch, the bowlers, and history itself all suggest this drought cannot last. Get your ducks in a row, Linton — or better yet, don't. 🦆 0️⃣ 🏏

A vintage weekend for the exclusive zero club: the 1st XI shed nine wickets for nought across two matches, away to Bowaters CC on Saturday and at home to The Mote CC on Sunday. The art of not scoring was practised with real conviction. Saturday 13 August — away to Bowaters CC - Paul Bowles departed for 6 (c Ecclestone b Jeffery), his 6th duck of the 1966 season and a tidy addition to his Ducks on the Road top 10 pedigree — fitting, given he's already sitting on this season's Duck of the Year honours board. He wasn't finished there either, but more on that below. - Alan Cridland followed him back (b Jeffery), his maiden career duck — 1 down, 201st on the club's all-time list of 819. On this very day in 1960, Pat Hardwick also ducked against these same opponents — good company across the decades. Sunday 14 August — home to The Mote CC Seven more fell to E- Jones and Phil Briant between them — top order and tail both wilted, only the middle keeping its nerve. Curiously, on this same date in 1893, A Kent also made a duck for the club, against the Royal Engineers — the calendar clearly has form. - Robert Chance (c Gunter b Jones), opening the innings, departed without scoring — his 1st career duck, 334th all-time, and already a name on the club's Retirement Duck honours board from a past campaign. - Don Clayton (b Jones) reached 4 for the season and 6 for his career — 55th all-time. - Frank Brattle (b Jones) moved to 2 for the season and a serious 27 for his career, 6th all-time — keeping good company with his forebear Percy Brattle (5 career ducks). - Eddie Lawrence (st Kirk b Briant) brought up his 8th career duck, 43rd on the list. - Paul Bowles (b Jones) completed the weekend's grim pair — 7th of the season, 7th for his career too, still parked at 50th all-time. - Gordon Fenner (st Kirk b Briant) also arrived at 27 career ducks, 7th all-time — level with Brattle — and keeps it in the family alongside brothers Joe (5) and Maurice (1) on the club's duck rolls. - Alan Tucker (b Briant) closed the innings for nought, his 4th of the season and 8th career, 41st all-time. Week in summary Two matches, nine ducks, and Paul Bowles completing a full weekend pair — a proper Duck Club special. The Mote CC innings alone claimed seven scalps for nothing, a fine advert for the art of not scoring. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Paul Bowles — 7 ducks / 16 inns (43.75%) 2. Alan Tucker — 4 / 9 (44.44%) 3. Richard Ashby — 4 / 16 (25.0%) 4. Don Clayton — 4 / 24 (16.67%) 5. Colin Eldred — 3 / 4 (75.0%) Bowles leads on volume, Eldred on sheer strike rate — the closest thing to a photo finish this club offers. The next fixture is already circled — who fancies joining the honours board? 🍩0️⃣

A rare weekend indeed at Linton Park: four matches played, and not a single duck to show for it. 🏏 The exclusive zero club convenes this week to an empty room — every batsman across the club got off the mark, denying the honours board its usual fresh intake. It happens. Even the art of not scoring has its off days. The Duck Club committee notes this with a mixture of relief and mild disappointment — relief for the players, disappointment for the correspondent, who was rather looking forward to something to write about. Four full games and eleven-a-side batting orders offered plenty of chances, and every single one was, most inconsiderately, taken. Consistency of a very particular kind eluded everybody this week. Rest assured, this drought is not expected to last. The ducks are out there, biding their time, and normal service will surely resume before long. 0️⃣ Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 - Paul Bowles — 5 ducks from 14 innings (36%) — the season's undisputed frontrunner, cultivating triumph through adversity with real dedication. - Richard Ashby — 4 ducks from 16 innings (25%) — a steady and determined pursuer of the wooden spoon. - Colin Eldred — 3 ducks from just 4 innings (75%) — a frankly staggering rate that puts the rest of the field to shame. - Alan Tucker — 3 ducks from 8 innings (38%) — quietly building a season to remember. - Mike Iliffe — 3 ducks from 10 innings (30%) — the chasing pack tightens. Colin Eldred's 75% strike rate deserves a special mention on the way through — four trips to the crease, three of them fruitless. A place of dubious distinction indeed, and one he currently holds alone. That's the lot for this period — a blank week in the Duck Club ledger, of all things. Next fixture, normal transmission should resume, and no doubt someone will be along shortly to keep Paul Bowles company at the top. 🍩🦆

Rumwood CC proved thoroughly inhospitable hosts on the Saturday, and Sunday brought a third name to the list. Three ducks, two matches, all wearing 1st XI colours this week — the exclusive zero club welcomes its latest inductees. 🏏 Saturday 16 July — away at Rumwood CC First to fall was Don Clayton, bowled by David Gale at first drop for his third duck of the season and fifth of a career now standing at 67 innings — 61st on the all-time list. On this very day back in 1960, Gordon Fenner also made a duck against these same opponents, which suggests Rumwood CC has form for inducing failure across the generations. 🍩 Not to be outdone, Paul Bowles was stumped down the leg side off N- Phillips, his fifth duck of the season arriving from just 22 career innings — a rate of attrition that has rocketed him to the summit of this year's Duck Hunting Season table. Paul is the reigning Duck of the Year 1966 and defending the title in some style, and he already carries the Ducks on the Road top ten and Only Two Quacks (with Adam Pooley) on his honours board. Fittingly, his fifth duck fell on the same afternoon, against the same opposition, as Gordon Fenner's 1960 effort above — Rumwood clearly bring out Linton's very best worst. 0️⃣ 🌱 Sunday 17 July — home to Len Newbury's The weekend's third casualty came at home, where Stan Wratten was bowled by L- Fletcher at first drop. It's only his second duck of the season, but his 27th career nought from 264 innings — good enough for 6th on the all-time leaderboard, a height reached by precious few. Stan remains a proud member of Quacking Together (with John Ames). And spare a thought for T Gandy, who made a duck on this exact calendar date back in 1867 against 1st Innings Leeds Park CC — the art of not scoring, it seems, is nearly a century older than the clubhouse itself. 🥇 (for futility) 📊 Week in Summary Three ducks from two fixtures, the 1st XI cornering the market entirely — the 2nds, 3rds and 4ths escaped unscathed, for now. Rumwood CC alone accounted for two of the three, a away trip best remembered for what Linton didn't score rather than what they did. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 Paul Bowles — 5 ducks / 13 inns (38.46%) 🥈 Richard Ashby — 4 ducks / 15 inns (26.67%) 🥉 Colin Eldred — 3 ducks / 4 inns (75.00%) 4. Alan Tucker — 3 ducks / 8 inns (37.50%) 5. Mike Iliffe — 3 ducks / 9 inns (33.33%) Colin Eldred's 75% strike rate deserves a special mention — three failures from four attempts is dedication bordering on the professional. Next weekend's fixtures await, and with them, no doubt, fresh additions to the honours board. The ducks never rest, and neither should your bat. 🦆🏏

The exclusive zero club welcomed four new admissions this weekend, three of them courtesy of a single ruthless spell from the Reeds CC attack, and Linton Park's top and middle order duly obliged. 🏏 Saturday 9 July — Reeds CC (away) A tough afternoon at the crease for the visitors, with M- Taylor doing the damage twice over. Mike Iliffe departed at first drop, bowled M- Taylor, for his 3rd duck of the season and 3rd of his career from just 9 innings — a startlingly efficient rate that already has him at 111th of 815 in the all-time roll. On this very day in 1902, F E Wallis (1887–1963, sorry, 1887–1908) was also strolling back for nought, against Town Malling CC no less, en route to being crowned Duck of the Year 1907. Two down at five, Terry Donovan fell to the same M- Taylor for his 2nd of the season and 12th career duck in 76 innings, holding steady at 28th all-time. A former Duck of the Year (1964), Terry is also a "nearly man" on the Full House board, having now ducked in 10 of the 11 batting positions — only one slot left to complete the set. He too shares today's date with F E Wallis's 1902 effort. At number nine, Richard Ashby was stumped by John Archer off D- White for his 4th duck of the season — a score that draws him level at the very top of the season standings alongside Paul Bowles. Career-wise he moves to 18 ducks in 89 innings, 17th of 815 all-time, extends his "Ducks in a Row" honour to five consecutive, and remains a fixture of the Tourist Duck top 10 — entirely fitting, given this one came on the road. Richard, too, joins the 1902 echo of F E Wallis. 🌱 Sunday 10 July — Sevenoaks Vine CC (home) Don Clayton fell at first drop, bowled Phil Francis, for his 2nd duck of the season and 4th of his career from 65 innings, sitting 76th all-time. On this day in 1954, Robert Muir was doing much the same against A.Trembeths — Robert would go on to join the Retirement Duck club, bowing out on a nought of his own in due course, though that's a tale for another era entirely. 📊 Week in Summary Two matches, four ducks, and M- Taylor personally accounting for half the tally — a golden afternoon for the bowler if not for Linton Park's top order. Richard Ashby's effort was the standout, hauling him level at the summit of the season race. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Paul Bowles — 12 innings, 4 ducks, 33.33% - Richard Ashby — 14 innings, 4 ducks, 28.57% - Colin Eldred — 4 innings, 3 ducks, 75.00% - Alan Tucker — 7 innings, 3 ducks, 42.86% - Mike Iliffe — 9 innings, 3 ducks, 33.33% Consistency of a very particular kind on display this week. The next fixture awaits, and the zero club never turns anyone away — see you there 🦆🏏0️⃣

Good evening Duck Club, and welcome to this week's harvest — gathered entirely in one uncomfortable afternoon away at Charles Arkcoll, where the home bowlers found the same generous spot three times over. Elsewhere the fixture list stayed refreshingly fowl-free. 1st XI — Charles Arkcoll (away, 2 July) - Don Clayton fell for 0 at first drop, bowled by Vic Wellard. His third career duck lifts him to 99th of 815 on the all-time list — and, delightfully, on this very day back in 1955, one G Hill also made a duck at this same ground against these same opponents. Some fixtures simply demand tribute. - John Thirkell followed, caught Wilson bowled Aiston, and simply extended his own reign. Career duck number 56 keeps him unchallenged at #1 of 815 in Linton's all-time records — a three-time Duck of the Year (1952, 1954, 1955), a permanent fixture of the Lone Duck, Homebody Duck and Ducks on the Road top tens, and a veteran of two separate Quacking Together pairings down the years. Fittingly, he too walked off on the anniversary of G Hill's 1955 effort against the same club. - Ninth man in was Jon Harris, and what an introduction — his very first senior innings, bowled by Vic Wellard, for a debut duck. A permanent seat now awaits on the Debutante Duck board, and he joins the exalted company of the Full House club, a duck recorded somewhere in Linton history at every position from 1 to 11. He's also in good standing among the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, and finds kinship with fellow member Richard Harris — a parent-child pairing — who carries 36 career ducks of his own. G Hill's ghost, 1955 to 1966, was there to see this one too. Week in Summary Three ducks, one match, one thoroughly unlucky batting order — the trip to Charles Arkcoll did all the damage. Vic Wellard alone accounted for two of the three, a shift worth remembering next time he runs in. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Paul Bowles — 4 ducks, 11 innings (36.36%) 2. Colin Eldred — 3 ducks, 4 innings (75%) 3. Alan Tucker — 3 ducks, 7 innings (42.86%) 4. Richard Ashby — 3 ducks, 13 innings (23.08%) 5. Terry Whittaker — 3 ducks, 16 innings (18.75%) Next weekend brings fresh fixtures and, doubtless, fresh volunteers for the honours board. Pad up, Duck Club — Charles Arkcoll won't always be this generous. 🦆🍩

Four fixtures on the go this week, and Duck Club business was brisk: five ducks banked, four of them arriving in one glorious afternoon at Sevenoaks. 🏏 Saturday 25 June — 1st XI at Sevenoaks Vine CC R- Pyle helped himself to a procession of noughts, as the middle and tail folded in style. Paul Bowles went first, bowled for nought — his 4th duck of the season and 4th of his career in 19 innings, 83rd on the all-time list. He remains the man to catch in the Duck of the Year 1966 race, and is also a fixture on the Ducks on the Road top 10. Back on this day in 1950, Don Hartridge made a duck of his own against Desert Rats — kindred spirits, sixteen years apart. Debutant J Walker was next, opening his senior career with an immediate entry onto the Debutante Duck honours board — his 1st duck from his 1st ever innings, 282nd all-time. An arrival to remember, if not quite the one he'd have wanted. Derry Evans followed, bowled for his 1st duck of the season and career from 6 innings, 228th all-time — joining Walker and Bowles in Hartridge's 1950 company. And at number 10, Alan Tucker completed the collapse — his 3rd duck of the season, 7th of his career from 60 innings, 47th all-time, level with Eddie Lawrence (1956–1966) and Tony Tipples (1952–1961) on the same tally. Another name for the 1950 ledger too. Four down, all nought, all Pyle's doing. 🏏 Monday 27 June — 1st XI v Tilling Steven John Ames departed without scoring — his 2nd duck of the season, but his 36th career duck, vaulting him to 4th on the all-time list behind only the legendary John Thirkell (55). A well-decorated member of the Duck Club, John carries both the Ducks in a Row and Homebody Duck top 10 honours. On this same date in 1936, E Godden also made a duck, against Bearsted CC. 📊 Week in Summary Five ducks, four fixtures, one seriously bad afternoon for the 1st XI top order at Sevenoaks. The other two matches in the period stayed nought-free. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Paul Bowles — 10 inns, 4 ducks, 40.0% 2. Colin Eldred — 4 inns, 3 ducks, 75.0% 3. Alan Tucker — 7 inns, 3 ducks, 42.86% 4. Richard Ashby — 12 inns, 3 ducks, 25.0% 5. Terry Whittaker — 16 inns, 3 ducks, 18.75% Colin Eldred's 75% strike rate for failure remains the season's most alarming number, though Bowles leads on raw volume. Both Bowles and Tucker added to their tallies this very week. Bats at the ready for the next fixture — the ducks are circling. 🦆

A watchful week for the exclusive zero club: six new inductees across three fixtures, every last one of them a 1st XI affair. Top order, middle order and tail alike all took their turn in the art of not scoring. Saturday 18 June — Rumwood CC (Home) Two fell in the top order. Mike Iliffe, promoted to number two, was undone by a smart Chapman-to-Hendey combination — his second duck of the summer and second of a career still finding its feet at seven innings, good (or bad) enough for 161st of 809 all-time. On this very day in 1961, Robert Murray was enduring the same fate against Halfway House, en route to 17 career ducks and a top-20 all-time spot. Lower down, David Gale was bowled by D- Ransome — his first of the season but a well-seasoned ninth of his career from 50 innings, moving him to 36th on the all-time roll. He shares his moment in history with the same 1961 vintage of Robert Murray. Sunday 19 June — East Peckham & Nettlestead CC (Away) If Saturday was a warning shot, Sunday was a volley — three ducks on the road. Benny Bell went lbw to C Brock, his second of the season and second overall from a dozen innings, ranked 126th of 809. Terry Whittaker followed, caught behind off J Page, for his third of the campaign and a hefty 20th of a career spanning 164 innings — 12th on the all-time list. Terry is already a name on the "Quacking Together" board alongside club stalwart Brian Relf, and a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell innings. Alan Tucker completed the rout, also to J Page, his second of the season and sixth of his career from 59 innings, sitting 51st all-time. All three shared their afternoon in the record books with Richard Harris, who on this same day back in 1955 made a duck against 1st Innings Hambros Bank — one of 36 career ducks that still leave him 4th on the club's all-time list. Tuesday 21 June — Shepway Maidstone (Away, midweek) A lone midweek casualty as Richard Ashby was run out for his third duck of the season and 17th of his career from 85 innings — a lofty 17th of 809 all-time. Richard already carries the "Ducks in a Row" honour for five on the bounce, and features in the Tourist Duck top 10 for his roadworthy collection of away-day noughts. On this day in 1965, Cliff Anscombe was doing much the same against Maidstone Trades, one of 14 career ducks for the 1957 Duck of the Year. Week in Summary Six ducks, four matches, every one of them 1st XI — a broad church this week rather than a single unfortunate soul. Not a golden duck among them either: every batsman got bat on ball before the long walk back began. East Peckham & Nettlestead clearly fancied themselves as guest curators of the honours board. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏆 - Colin Eldred — 4 innings, 3 ducks (75%) - Paul Bowles — 8 innings, 3 ducks (37.5%) - Richard Ashby — 10 innings, 3 ducks (30%) - Terry Whittaker — 16 innings, 3 ducks (18.75%) - Brian Relf — 3 innings, 2 ducks (66.67%) Richard Ashby and Terry Whittaker both climb level with the pack on three apiece this week — the race for Duck of the Year is very much alive. Roll up again next weekend — the bowlers are sharpening up, and there's always room for one more name on the board. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Three matches, six ducks, and one afternoon at Headcorn that will be spoken of in hushed tones for years. The Duck Hunting Season of 1966 continues to deliver in spades — or rather, in the persistent absence of them. 🏏 Saturday 11th June — 1st XI at Headcorn CC A genuine collapse of historic proportions. Four Linton batsmen walked back for nought in this single innings, a full third of the side unable to trouble the scorers. Paul Bowles fell first, bowled by D- Bunker for his 3rd duck of the season and 3rd of an already promising career — just 16 innings in and he's 110th of 809 in the all-time reckoning. He currently sits atop the Duck of the Year 1966 table and is a fixture of the Ducks on the Road top 10, his away form being what it is. Neatly, on this very day back in 1955, the legendary Bob Arnold (1949–1964, 47 career ducks, 2nd of all time) also made a duck against Headcorn CC. History does love to repeat itself at this ground. D- Bunker wasn't finished — next over claimed Terry Whittaker too, his 2nd of the season and 19th of a lengthy 161-innings career, good for 14th all time. Terry shares the "Quacking Together" honour with a certain Brian Relf, which feels rather apt given what happened four balls later. Terry Donovan edged behind off J- Kemp for his 1st duck of the campaign, his 11th career nought from 70 innings, ranking 31st of 809. A past Duck of the Year (1964) and eternally one short of completing the club's "Full House" of dismissal positions — he'll need a nought at number one yet. And closing the collapse, Brian Relf, also to J- Kemp, his 2nd of the season and 19th career from a mere 37 innings — a fearsome strike rate that puts him 13th all time. Brian ducked on debut all those years ago and carries the presumptive Quack-to-Quack board for it, and here he was reunited in ignominy with Whittaker, exactly as the honours board suggested he might be. 🌱 Sunday 12th June — 1st XI v Bobbing Court CC Colin Eldred, trapped lbw by A Williamson, notched his 3rd duck of the season and 11th career, from just 55 innings — 28th all time and a past Duck of the Year (1965). On this same day in 1960, John Abnett (1954–1966, 18 ducks, 16th all time, a "Ducks in a Row" man) also fell for nought, against Halfway House. 🏏 Thursday 16th June — 1st XI v West Farleigh CC Fred Greenfield departed caught behind off Peter J Day, his 1st duck of the season and 9th career from 61 innings, 36th of 809. Bob Arnold makes his third cameo of the week — on this day in 1951 he too ducked, against Maths School Rochester. The man is simply everywhere in the on-this-day column. 📊 Week in Summary Six ducks from four matches, all wearing 1st XI colours, headlined by that extraordinary Headcorn quadruple. No goldens, no pairs, no family affairs this week — just honest, workmanlike failure to score. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Colin Eldred — 4 innings, 3 ducks (75%) 2. Paul Bowles — 7 innings, 3 ducks (42.86%) 3. Brian Relf — 3 innings, 2 ducks (66.67%) 4. Richard Ashby — 8 innings, 2 ducks (25%) 5. Terry Whittaker — 13 innings, 2 ducks (15.38%) Four of this week's six duckers sit inside the season's top five — the race for Duck of the Year 1966 is very much alive. Roll on the next fixture, when the exclusive zero club will doubtless welcome new — or returning — members. 🦆🍩

The zero club welcomed four new arrivals this week, and in a rare show of unity every last one of them wore 1st XI colours. Two matches did the damage; two others let the whole XI off scot-free. 🏏 1st XI — Hartley Country Club CC (away, Sat 6th) A proper collapse into the exclusive zero club here, with top order and tail both paying tribute. John Ames went at first drop, caught off I Gibbons, for his 1st duck of the season and a barely-believable 35th of his career — rank 5 of 809 all-time, the sort of company that requires its own postcode. He's mid-streak on Ducks in a Row (4 consecutive), sits proudly in the Homebody Duck top 10, and keeps Only Two Quacks with Alan Wilkes and Quacking Together with both Roy Clarke and, rather aptly given the week, Stan Wratten. On this very day in 1965, Brian Relf also wandered back for nought, against Tovil and Bridge. Two down the order, Paul Bowles fell to the very same I Gibbons, his 2nd duck of the season and 2nd of his career from just 15 innings — rank 163 of 809. He's the current custodian of Duck of the Year 1966, and banks Ducks on the Road top 10 form alongside Only Two Quacks with Adam Pooley. Like his captain, he joins Brian Relf's 1965 vintage on this date — history repeating with unnerving precision. At number 11, Alan Tucker was bowled by J Lillie for his 1st of the season and 5th career duck in 56 innings — rank 59 of 809. He too finds himself in Brian Relf's 1965 company on this day. Three down, and Hartley's bowlers barely had to work for it. 🏏 1st XI — Reeds CC (away, Mon 8th) Opening the batting is meant to be the safe seat. Stan Wratten didn't get the memo, bowled by C Simmonds for his 1st duck of the season — but a monumental 26th of his career in 259 innings, rank 9 of 809 and closing in on the very summit of the all-time table. Fittingly, he shares Quacking Together with none other than John Ames, making this a two-man week for the ages even if the matches never touched. On this day in 1964, Derek Pantony also made a duck, against Gore Court CC. 📊 Week in Summary Four matches, four ducks, and every single one in 1st XI whites — three of them stacked into one Hartley innings. The other two fixtures this week got away completely unscathed, which the committee will no doubt call "concerning discipline" and the Duck Club will call "a wasted opportunity." Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Colin Eldred — 2 ducks from 3 innings (66.67%) - Paul Bowles — 2 ducks from 6 innings (33.33%) - Richard Ashby — 2 ducks from 7 innings (28.57%) - Malcolm Pay — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) - Brian Relf — 1 duck from 2 innings (50%) Bowles holds the Duck of the Year 1966 crown for now, but Eldred's strike rate says otherwise given half a chance. 🥇🍩 Next fixture looms, gloves and pads at the ready — the zero club never closes its books for long. See you at the crease. 0️⃣🦆

Sevenoaks Vine came to the Park and left with three scalps for the collection, then Folkestone and Bearsted each helped themselves to one more. A tidy little five-duck week — steady, unspectacular, and exactly the kind of consistency the exclusive zero club was built on. 🏏 1st XI — A Full House at Number 4, 9 and 10 Against Sevenoaks Vine CC, Mike Iliffe fell caught and bowled by a- Dakin for his 1st duck of the season and 1st of his career, in just his 2nd innings — an inauspicious opening statement, currently 303rd of 809 in the all-time roll. On this very day back in 1928, club legend Bert Buckoke was doing the identical dance against Bearsted CC, en route to 12 career ducks and two Duck of the Year gongs — Mike, you're in fine company for the calendar, if not yet the tally. Richard Ashby went next, bowled by the same a- Dakin, his 1st duck of the season taking him to 16 career ducks — 18th of 809 all-time, and a fixture of the Ducks in a Row (5 consecutive) and Tourist Duck top 10 boards, so this one barely dented the reputation. Two days later against Bearsted CC he was back at it, caught by Peter Johnson off Bryan Elswood for his 2nd of the season — a grim little pair for Richard this week, out twice inside three days without troubling the scorer either time. His parallel this time round: on this day in 1959, H Clarke was also making a Debutante Duck of himself against Old Williamsonians CC. Brian Relf completed the top-order procession, caught by P- Williams off a- Dakin for his 1st of the season, career duck number 18 — level with both John Abnett (1954–1965) and, fittingly, fellow honours-board man Terry Whittaker, with whom Brian already shares a "Quacking Together" entry. Brian remains a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck and Quack-to-Quack clubs from his own long-ago arrival and farewell — history notes it, this week doesn't rewrite it. Same day in 1928, Bert Buckoke was again the man to beat. Over at Folkestone CC, Frank Brattle was bowled by John Godden for his 1st duck of the season and 26th career — a lofty 7th of 809 all-time — drawing level on the numbers with Gordon Fenner (1941–1966). Frank's father Percy sits in the family ledger too, on 5 career ducks of his own — a nice bit of hereditary form, though not on show this week. On this day in 1937, E Hayes was falling for nought against Charles Arkcoll — small consolation, but tradition is tradition. 📊 Week in Summary Five ducks, four matches, three of them courtesy of the same bowler at Sevenoaks Vine — a- Dakin can consider his week's work done. Richard Ashby's weekend brace is the standout feat, proving that lightning very much does strike twice when there's a nought on offer. No golden ducks, no pairs of the king variety, and no family affairs this time round — just honest, workmanlike failure to trouble the scorers. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Colin Eldred — 2 ducks / 3 innings (66.67%) 2. Richard Ashby — 2 ducks / 6 innings (33.33%) 3. Malcolm Pay — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 4. Brian Relf — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) 5. Mike Iliffe — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) Malcolm Pay's flawless 100% remains the standard nobody should aspire to but everyone quietly fears. Colin Eldred leads the chase proper — can anyone catch him before the season's out? 🍩 Next fixture beckons, and with it another chance for the Duck Club to welcome new members or watch old campaigners extend their misery. As ever, we watch, we wait, and we celebrate the art of not scoring. 0️⃣🏏

The 1966 campaign trundles on, and Linton Park's lower order at The Mote CC once more proved that batting is, at its heart, an optional extra. 🏏 1st XI — The Mote CC (away) Two ducks fell in the same innings on Saturday, both dispatched from the unglamorous end of the order — proof that adversity, like tea, is best shared. William Buck, at number eight, contrived to get himself out hit wicket off the bowling of Phil Briant — a dismissal requiring no assistance from the fielders beyond mild provocation. It's his 1st duck of the season and 27th of an increasingly distinguished career, keeping him at a lofty 6th in the all-time standings out of 807. He's also a paid-up member of Quacking Together, sharing a nought with John Thirkell on some other sorry occasion long past. And in a pleasing quirk of the calendar, on this very day back in 1955 John Abnett — of the 1954–1965 vintage, and no stranger to a duck himself with 18 to his name — was also trudging back against Halfway House. Some things never change. One place further down, Gordon Fenner edged to E Howes off the bowling of Murray Nissen, his 1st duck of the season and 26th for the club, good enough for 7th on the all-time list. A chip off a fairly leaky block — his siblings Joe and Maurice carry 5 and 1 career ducks respectively, so the Fenner name is no stranger to this parish. Gordon, too, finds himself keeping company with John Abnett's ghost — the very same 1955 duck against Halfway House casting its shadow down the order eleven years later. The other fixture in the period passed off duck-free — someone, somewhere, actually troubled the scorers. 📊 The Week in Nought Two ducks from three matches, both from the same top-heavy collapse at The Mote — the 1st XI clearly decided sharing is caring. No pairs, no golden ducks, and the Fenner family keeps its options open for a future entry on the honours board. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Colin Eldred — 2 ducks in 3 innings (67%) 2. Malcolm Pay — 1 duck in 1 innings (100%) 3. William Buck — 1 duck in 2 innings (50%) 4. Paul Bowles — 1 duck in 3 innings (33%) 5. Gordon Fenner — 1 duck in 4 innings (25%) Malcolm Pay sits on a flawless duck rate after a single innings — the purest form of consistency, however briefly it lasts. Colin Eldred, meanwhile, is quietly assembling a season for the ages. 🦆 Bat on, gentlemen — the next fixture awaits its own contribution to the exclusive zero club.

Three fixtures on the fixture list this weekend, but the exclusive zero club kept its attentions fixed firmly on just the one of them. Maidstone YMCA CC visited on the Saturday and left with four Linton names freshly inducted into the season's dishonour roll, courtesy chiefly of one J- Carter, who helped himself to three of the four wickets in question. Sunday and Monday, by contrast, passed the club's noughts-hunters by entirely — a rare weekend of restraint elsewhere. 🏏 1st XI v Maidstone YMCA CC (home) First to fall was Colin Eldred, bowled by Carter at first drop for his second duck of the season and 10th of an accomplished career — still ticking along nicely at 30th in the all-time list from 54 innings, a shade under one duck in five. Eldred already wears the sash for Duck of the Year 1965 and is a long-standing Retirement Duck club member from a past farewell, so this is very much a man revisiting old haunts. Neatly enough, on this very date back in 1961 Eddie Lawrence (1956–1966) was also trudging off for nought, against Halfway House. Next in was Terry Whittaker, also accounting for Carter's figures, and picking up his first duck of the season for a career total of 18 — good for 15th on the all-time table from 153 innings, roughly a duck every eight visits to the crease. Terry carries the Quacking Together honour alongside Brian Relf and, like Eldred moments earlier, shares his calendar date with Eddie Lawrence's 1961 vintage. Carter's third victim was Paul Bowles, caught behind off his bowling for a maiden career duck from just 11 innings — a rather more modest 9% strike rate for nothingness, but he arrives with the Duck of the Year 1966 crown already on his boards, an early claim staked for the season's grimmest prize. Bowles also nods to the Ducks on the Road top 10 and the Only Two Quacks club with Adam Pooley, and tips his cap to the same 1961 vintage of Eddie Lawrence on this shared date. Finally Malcolm Pay, undone by Tony Grenfell for a career-opening duck in only his fifth innings — a brisk 20% duck rate to be getting on with, and no honours board entries yet, though the season is young. Malcolm joins the Eddie Lawrence anniversary club too, in good company on 14 May. 📅 Elsewhere Nothing further to report from Sunday or Monday's fixtures — either genuinely duck-free cricket, or three batsmen somewhere breathing an enormous, undocumented sigh of relief. 🍩 Week in Summary Four ducks from three matches, all bagged inside a single innings against Maidstone YMCA — a proper cluster, and a fine early data point for Carter's benefit season. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Colin Eldred — 2 ducks, 3 innings, 66.7% 2. Malcolm Pay — 1 duck, 1 innings, 100% 3. Paul Bowles — 1 duck, 2 innings, 50% 4. Benny Bell — 1 duck, 5 innings, 20% 5. Terry Whittaker — 1 duck, 5 innings, 20% Next weekend's fixtures await their own contributions to the art of not scoring. The club watches, waits, and quacks on. 🦆0️⃣

A quiet week for the Duck Hunting Season — just two matches played, and the ducks mostly stayed submerged. Mostly. 1st XI - Benny Bell (v Penenden Heath, home, 12 May) departed run out for nought at first wicket down, the identity of his executioner lost to history and logged simply as "Unsure" — a fittingly mysterious end to a short stay. It's his 1st duck of the season, and with only 2 career innings to his name, his 1st career duck too, easing him into the all-time standings at 201st of 804. Neat bit of symmetry here: this is the very anniversary of a Linton duck, as on this day in 1906 — sixty years to the day — D H Luck also strolled back for nought, against Town Malling CC. Week in Summary One duck from two matches. No pairs, no golden ducks, no family affairs to report this time — the club's noughts kept a low profile, content to let the season simmer rather than boil over. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🥇 1. Benny Bell — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% 2. Colin Eldred — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% Bell and Eldred share top spot on a perfectly matched 50% strike rate for nought — early doors yet, plenty of season left for that race to break open. The nets are back up next week — who'll be signing up for membership of the exclusive zero club then? 🦆🍩

A quiet week in the ledger this time round, ladies and gentlemen — just the one duck to report, but it's a good one, so let's not skimp on the ceremony. 🏏 1st XI — Dimanchians CC (home, 1st May) Batting at five, Colin Eldred was undone lbw by D Andrews, adding the ninth entry to a career that now runs to 53 innings — a season tally that ticks over to 1, and a career standing of 35th of 803 all time. Not a golden duck this one — he'd faced at least a ball before the finger went up, so no purest-ignominy bonus here, just honest, workmanlike failure. Colin arrives in exalted company on nine career ducks, level with B Westover (1940–1945, 9 from 28), Gerald Wright (1952–1954, 9 from 26) and John Crellin (1961–1965, 9 from 43, himself a former Duck of the Year in 1961) — a positively crowded rafter of the honours board to share with. And there's a pleasing calendar echo too: on this very day back in 1965, Fred Greenfield also walked back for nought — against Staplehurst CC no less — a Retirement Duck club member in his own right from a past farewell. History, as ever, enjoys repeating itself in the Duck Club. Worth noting for the record: Colin himself is no stranger to the top table, being both a former Duck of the Year (1965) and a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from a past occasion — standing honours, not this week's business, but the man clearly has form. 📊 Week in Summary Two matches, one duck — the 1st XI did the only damage while the rest of the club, disappointingly, kept their heads down and their bats straight. A poultry return by Duck Club standards, but every entry counts on the honours board, and Colin's has landed him in genuinely distinguished company. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Colin Eldred — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% A leaderboard of one is still a leaderboard, and Colin currently has the field entirely to himself. Early days yet in the 1966 campaign — plenty of time for challengers to present themselves. 🍩 Onwards to the next fixture, where the ducks — much like Dimanchians' bowling attack — are surely lying in wait. Bring your bat, and preferably some runs to go with it.