🦆 The Duck Pond

A quiet one for the record books, ducklings. One match played on the green this day and, remarkably, all eleven walked back having troubled the scorers at least once. The zero club stood at the gate all afternoon, checked its ledger, sharpened its quill… and went home with nothing to write. Every single Linton bat found a way to avoid the dreaded nought — the art of not scoring, defeated for once by the art of actually scoring. Even Ron Kemp, who sits on a frankly heroic 50% strike rate for ducks this season, seems to have kept his powder dry. A rare day of restraint from a man built for ignominy. So no golden ducks, no king pairs, no father-and-son double acts for the Honours Board this time — just eleven batsmen quietly denying the club its favourite pastime. Frankly, a bit rude. 0️⃣ Duck Hunting Season 1990 — the chase continues The season standings remain untouched and no less magnificent for it: 🥇 Fred Cheesman — 7 ducks in 26 innings (26.92%) 🥈 Matt Large — 6 ducks in 20 innings (30.00%) 🥉 Jon Harris — 5 ducks in 22 innings (22.73%) 4. Steve Cheesman — 4 ducks in 17 innings (23.53%) 5. Ron Kemp — 3 ducks in 6 innings (50.00%) — still the most efficient collector in the field, technically speaking Matt Large's 30% strike rate deserves a nod of its own — nearly one in three trips to the crease ending in the walk of shame. Keep it up, Matt, the club needs role models. 🏏 Onwards to the next fixture, then — the ducks evaded capture this time, but the season's still young and Ron Kemp is still out there somewhere, bat in hand, statistically overdue. Get your entries in, gentlemen. The zero club never sleeps. 🦆

A quiet week down at Linton Park, and not in a good way for connoisseurs of the naught. Three matches came and went across the period and, remarkably, not a single soul troubled the Duck Club's admissions desk. Every bat that walked to the middle found its way off the mark, every scorer's "0" column stayed stubbornly empty, and the exclusive zero club processed not one new application. Whether this was superb batting, generous bowling, or simple bad luck for those of us who enjoy the art of not scoring, we cannot say. What we can say is that somewhere out there, three matches' worth of batsmen collectively decided this was not their week to audition for cricketing ignominy. Frankly, a touch selfish of them. Fear not — with the season drawing towards its business end, normal service is surely just around the corner. The ducks are out there. They are merely, for now, evading capture. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏏 🥇 Fred Cheesman — 7 ducks from 26 innings (26.92%) 🥈 Matt Large — 6 ducks from 20 innings (30.00%) 🥉 Jon Harris — 5 ducks from 22 innings (22.73%) 4️⃣ Steve Cheesman — 4 ducks from 17 innings (23.53%) 5️⃣ Ron Kemp — 3 ducks from 6 innings — a startling 50% strike rate, the shortest route to the honours board this season Fred Cheesman leads the chase for Duck of the Year, but with Ron Kemp converting half his innings into noughts, nobody's crown is safe yet. Roll on the next fixture, where surely someone will do their duty and restock the cabinet. The zero club never sleeps — it just occasionally has a quiet week. 🍩0️⃣🦆

Three fixtures, four ducks, and the exclusive zero club opens its doors once more before the season winds down. Let's get into it. Saturday 15th — 1st XI away at Southborough CC Dave Charlton departed for a two-ball nought, bowled by Steven Thomas at number four. His first duck of the season, and the 5th of a career now standing at 40 innings — 115th on the all-time list of 1142. On this very day back in 1982, Trevor Hales made a near-identical departure against The Mote CC, a man who'd go on to join the Retirement Duck club himself. Sean Charlton, Dave's sibling, already carries 4 career ducks of his own — clearly a family with an eye for the art of not scoring. Sunday 16th — 1st XI host Northend Sunday, a two-for A rare home double at Bearsted Green. Keith Hatcher weathered 14 balls before falling to N Wood, his 2nd career duck from 85 innings — 244th all-time. Then Piers McDonald followed at six, lbw to K Stapley off just 3 balls, his 2nd duck of the season and 6th career, good enough for 109th all-time and a paid-up member of both the Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top tens. Fittingly, both men share the very same historical echo — Richard Ashby, who on this day in 1962 also ducked against Staplehurst CC en route to 28 career noughts and a place in the Ducks in a Row (5 consecutive) hall of infamy. Northend Sunday clearly bring out something in this fixture list. Wednesday 19th — Midweek XI host Kent Invicta CC Ron Kemp lasted just 2 balls before falling to Griffiths, his 3rd duck of the season — and with only 6 innings played this year, that's a rate that would make anyone blush. 5 career ducks from 21 innings puts him 122nd all-time, and he already carries the Retirement Duck honour from a past farewell. On this day in 1982, David Iliffe made a duck of his own against Anchorians CC, one of two Iliffes to grace the honours board that year courtesy of the Quacked by Kin category. 📊 Week in Summary Four ducks from three matches — Northend Sunday supplied half of them in one sitting, and Ron Kemp's midweek effort keeps him on an eye-watering pace for the run-in. Consistency of a very particular kind continues to flourish at Linton Park. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Fred Cheesman — 7 ducks, 25 innings, 28.0% - Matt Large — 6 ducks, 20 innings, 30.0% - Jon Harris — 5 ducks, 22 innings, 22.73% - Steve Cheesman — 4 ducks, 17 innings, 23.53% - Ron Kemp — 3 ducks, 6 innings, 50.0% Ron Kemp's strike rate of failure is the one to watch — at 50% he's threatening to run away with a category nobody wants to win but everyone secretly wants to talk about. 🦆 Bats up next weekend, and the zero club never sleeps. Who's queuing up for the walk of shame this time? We watch, we wait, we celebrate.

A quiet week in the Duck Hunting fields — three matches played, but the noughts confined themselves to a single innings. Quality over quantity, evidently. Saturday 8th September 1st XI v Sandwich Town CC (home) — a rare twin strike in the same innings for the home faithful. Peter Whyte departed at first drop for nought, caught Kevin Beaumont bowled R Wickham after seeing off a defiant 9 balls before the aerial route finally did for him. It's his 2nd duck of the season and the 9th of a steadily swelling career collection, now sat 78th of 1142 in the all-time roll call. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1981, Richard Ashby was doing much the same against Paul CC en route to 28 career ducks and a berth in the Tourist Duck top 10 — Peter keeps fine, if scoreless, company. A note for the family album: sibling Tom Whyte already carries a career duck of his own, so the trait is evidently hereditary. Six places back, Fred Cheesman made it two for the afternoon, caught S Smith bowled Andy Jnr Smith after just 4 deliveries. This is Fred's 7th duck of the season and 17th of a genuinely illustrious career, moving him to 42nd of 1142 all-time — no small feat for the reigning 1990 Duck of the Year, who already holds the exceptionally rare Full House (a duck at every position 1 to 11), Only Two Quacks status alongside Adam Pooley, and a seat in the Tourist Duck top 10. Curiously, Fred shares his on-this-day companion with Peter above — the very same Richard Ashby, felled by Paul CC on this date in 1981. And the Cheesman name runs deep in these parts too, with Steve (4 career ducks) and Stuart (1) both paid-up contributors to the family tally. Week in summary Three matches, two ducks, both courtesy of the 1st XI's trip against Sandwich Town — a proper matching pair, though not quite a Duck Club "pair" in the technical sense since it was two different batsmen, not one man twice. No family doubles this week, but the Cheesman honours board is doing more than enough heavy lifting on its own. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇🍩 1. Fred Cheesman — 7 ducks in 23 innings (30.43%) 2. Matt Large — 6 ducks in 20 innings (30.0%) 3. Jon Harris — 5 ducks in 21 innings (23.81%) 4. Steve Cheesman — 4 ducks in 17 innings (23.53%) 5. Mike Bains — 2 ducks in 3 innings (66.67%) Fred sits proudly atop his own leaderboard, defending the 1990 crown in some style. The scorer's pencil is freshly sharpened for the next fixture — who'll be queuing up to join the exclusive zero club next time? We watch. We wait. We celebrate. 🦆0️⃣

The touring party rolled into Cornwall this weekend and, true to form, the exclusive zero club found two fresh recruits at St Austell CC on the Sunday. Saturday's fixture, mercifully for the tourists' averages, passed off duck-free. 🏏 Sunday 3rd September — Tour XI at St Austell CC (away) Down at the tail, Stuart Watson did what tourists dread most — he found the same trick twice. Matt Large, walking out at nine, departed bowled Watson for his 6th duck of the summer and 28th of an illustrious career spanning 108 innings — good enough for 23rd on the all-time chart of 1,142 hopefuls. A three-time Duck of the Year in his pomp (1987, '88 and '89), Matt remains a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, having opened his account with nought all those years ago, and is a fixture on the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens — a man who has quite literally toured the country in search of failure. He remains cruelly stuck as the Full House nearly-man, having ducked at ten of the eleven positions and presumably eyeing number 11 with grim intent. Fittingly, on this very day in 1972, Benny Bell also strolled back for nought, against Staplehurst CC, en route to 30 career ducks in a run from 1966 to 1975. Two balls — and two batsmen — later, last man Jon Harris fell to the same Watson trap, chalking up his 5th duck of the season and a staggering 68th for the club. That places Jon 3rd on the all-time leaderboard of 1,142, trailing only the true legends of the game, and cements a résumé that already boasts three Duck of the Year titles (1976, 1980, 1981), the rare and complete Full House — a duck at every position 1 to 11 — and entries on the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck, Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top tens, plus shared Quacking Together honours with Jim Hall and Trevor Back. He also carries the family gene, kin to fellow club member Richard Harris, who has 36 career ducks of his own. Jon, too, shares his day with history — on this same 3rd of September in 1972, Benny Bell was going through precisely the same ordeal at Staplehurst. A watching purist might call it a matching pair for Watson, tail-end specialist — nine and eleven both back in the hutch without troubling the scorers, a fine advertisement for the art of not scoring. 📊 Week in Summary Two matches toured, one delivered the goods: two ducks, both at St Austell, both to the same bowler, both from the bottom of the order. The Duck of the Year race for 1990 tightens accordingly — Matt Large's sixth of the season nudges him level at the top of the current standings. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard — Top 5 - Matt Large — 6 ducks in 19 innings (31.58%) - Fred Cheesman — 6 ducks in 21 innings (28.57%) - Jon Harris — 5 ducks in 20 innings (25.00%) - Steve Cheesman — 4 ducks in 16 innings (25.00%) - Mike Bains — 2 ducks in 3 innings (66.67%) — a poultry rate to fear 🦆 The tour continues, and with it the hunt. Who fancies adding their name to the honours board next fixture? We watch. We wait. We celebrate.

Six fixtures, six ducks — the zero club welcomes new members at home and, more enthusiastically, out on tour in Cornwall. 🏏 1st XI v Petts Wood CC: Mike Bains fell for nought at two, bowled by J Symonds after a dogged 12-ball resistance — no golden shame here. His 2nd duck of the season, 4th of his career (20 innings, 141st of 1142 all time). On this day in 1976, Brian Piper did the same against Gravesend CC, en route to 18 career ducks across 1973-1990. v Old Anchorians CC: Nick Froom had no such luck, caught off the very first ball he faced — a proper golden duck, purest form of the art. His 1st of the season, 2nd career (8 innings, 250th all time). On this same date in 1979, Tim Thirkell — 4th all time with 62 — fell in this exact fixture against these same Old Anchorians. Some grounds hold a grudge. ☀️ Tour XI — Cornish Hospitality Paul CC, Falmouth CC and Mullion CC proved unforgiving hosts. Fred Cheesman set the tone at Paul CC, bowled by C Stephens for his 6th of the season and 16th career duck (84 innings, 43rd all time). Fred leads the 1990 Duck of the Year race, holds Full House status and sits in the Tourist Duck top ten — and keeps it in the family, with relatives Steve and Stuart Cheesman on 4 and 1 career ducks apiece. Stan Wratten trod this ground on this date in 1954 against D Hambrook XI, one of his 35. Falmouth CC claimed two in the same innings. Peter Whyte made his 1st of the season, 8th career duck (90 innings, 86th all time), sibling Tom Whyte a fellow member on 1. Matt Large followed for his 5th of the season, 27th career (107 innings, 25th all time) — a club aristocrat, three-time Duck of the Year 1987-89, a Debutante Duck of old, a Full House nearly-man on 10 of 11 positions. Both share a parallel in Frank Brattle, who ducked against Bearsted CC on this date in 1965 en route to 38. Richard Ashby closed the tour at Mullion CC, caught for his 1st of the season, 28th career duck (220 innings, 23rd all time), extending his Ducks in a Row and Tourist Duck top ten credentials. Allan Cooper trod the same path on this date in 1980 against Staplehurst CC, finishing on 38. 📊 Six ducks, six matches, one apiece — split between home ground and Cornish soil. Just the one golden duck this week, courtesy of Nick Froom. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Fred Cheesman — 6 ducks / 20 inns (30.0%) 2. Matt Large — 5 ducks / 18 inns (27.78%) 3. Steve Cheesman — 4 ducks / 14 inns (28.57%) 4. Jon Harris — 4 ducks / 19 inns (21.05%) 5. Mike Bains — 2 ducks / 3 inns (66.67%) The Cheesman name occupies two of the top three — a family trade if ever there was one. 🍩 Next fixture beckons, and with it, fresh names for the honours board. We watch. We wait. We celebrate. 0️⃣🦆

A quiet week for the Duck Club, with just a single match troubling the honours board — but quality over quantity, as ever, at Linton Park. 🏏 Midweek XI at Gravesend CC Batting at six, Brian Piper became the afternoon's lone representative of the exclusive zero club, bowled by Peter Preston without deposit made to the scorebook. A tidy dismissal, cleanly taken, cruelly recorded. It's Brian's 2nd duck of the season and the 18th of a long and storied career spanning 301 innings — enough to sit him at a very respectable 39th of 1142 in the all-time reckoning. Consistency, as the club motto nearly goes, of a very particular kind. Spookily, on this very day back in 1953, J Barclay also strolled back for nought against Charles Arkcoll — a duck that, in Barclay's case, turned out to be his Duck of the Year 1953 and, as history later confirmed, part of a Retirement Duck send-off. Brian will hope for a rather longer innings in the club yet. Worth noting too that Brian isn't alone in the family trade — his sibling David Piper carries 7 career ducks of his own, so the art of not scoring evidently runs in the blood. 📊 Week in Summary One match, one duck, one thoroughly professional bowling performance from Peter Preston. Gravesend will take the wicket; Linton Park take the consolation of another name gently nudged up the all-time list. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard — Top 5 1. Fred Cheesman — 5 ducks in 18 innings (27.78%) 2. Steve Cheesman — 4 ducks in 12 innings (33.33%) 3. Matt Large — 4 ducks in 16 innings (25.00%) 4. Jon Harris — 4 ducks in 17 innings (23.53%) 5. Ron Kemp — 2 ducks in 4 innings (50.00%) — the percentage to beat this season The Cheesman household continues to dominate proceedings between them, while Ron Kemp's fearsome strike rate suggests nobody at the crease is truly safe. Roll on the next fixture — the ducks are never far away, and Linton Park's finest will no doubt be doing their bit to keep the honours board busy. 🦆🏏

The season rolls on with two fixtures on the books this weekend, and Goatacre CC away proved the happier hunting ground for the Duck Club — the only outing of the two to trouble the honours board. Elsewhere, eleven Linton bats found their way to at least one run and left the ledger untouched. A quiet weekend, but a pointed one. 🌱 Sunday NVKC — Away at Goatacre CC Trevor Back went first, caught John Turner off the bowling of Kevin Iles at number eight, managing two balls faced before the inevitable arrived. It's his first duck of the campaign but hardly his first rodeo — a 30th career nought moves him to 21st of 1141 in the all-time reckoning, a lofty perch he shares with membership of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, plus standing pair honours alongside Allan Cooper and fellow traveller Jon Harris. On this very day in 1970, twenty years to the ball, Mike Iliffe was doing exactly the same thing against Gravesend CC, en route to 43 career ducks and 8th on the all-time list. History, it seems, keeps a diary. Sean Charlton followed him back to the pavilion at nine, bowled first ball by John Spencer — a golden duck, the purest and most efficient way to fail. It's his first of the season and takes him to 4 career ducks from 71 innings, 146th of 1141 club-wide. Sean is a long-standing paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, having ducked on his own first-ever innings some seasons back, though today's effort was very much a repeat performance rather than an audition. Nice symmetry too — his sibling Dave Charlton sits on exactly 4 career ducks himself, so the Charlton household is now level on noughts. And, as with Trevor, the calendar throws up Mike Iliffe's 1970 duck against Gravesend CC as the day's echo from the past. 📊 Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks, both from the same Goatacre CC fixture at the foot of the NVKC order — the middle and lower order took the hit while the top of the innings stayed disciplined. The other fixture passed off entirely duck-free, which around here counts as a genuine shock result. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard — Top 5 - Ron Kemp — 2 ducks from 4 innings (50.0%) - Steve Cheesman — 4 ducks from 12 innings (33.3%) - Fred Cheesman — 5 ducks from 17 innings (29.4%) - Jon Harris — 4 ducks from 16 innings (25.0%) - Matt Large — 4 ducks from 16 innings (25.0%) Ron Kemp sits pretty at the summit on sheer strike rate, but with the season still to run there's ample time for the chasing pack to close the gap. Next weekend brings fresh fixtures and, statistically speaking, fresh victims — see you at the crease. 🦆🍩

Four fixtures, three admissions to the exclusive zero club, and one thoroughly Cheesman-flavoured week for the ignominy of not troubling the scorers. On with the honours. Saturday 4th August — 1st XI v Maidstone Dissidents CC (h) Fred Cheesman opened the ledger, shouldering arms at number six only to be pinned by a smart Buchanan take off Sean Charlton — first ball, golden duck, no argument. It's his 5th of the season and 15th for the club from 81 innings, good enough for 45th on the all-time list. With "Duck of the Year 1990" already sitting on his honours board, Fred looks the man to catch in this year's race, and he's a paid-up member of the Full House club having now ducked at every position from 1 to 11 — a completionist's nightmare, a Duck Club romantic's dream. On this very day in 1976, Robert Chance also fell for nought, against Sennocke CC, one of 8 in a 1964–1978 career. Keep an eye on the family too — son Steve was waiting in the wings for his own moment four days later. Sunday 5th August — 1st XI v Staplehurst CC (h) Brian Piper edged Escott through to Ian Henson without troubling the umpire's finger for long — another first-baller, his maiden duck of the summer and 17th of a career now spanning 299 innings, 41st all-time. His brother David sits on 7 career ducks of his own, so the poultry runs in the family. Back on this day in 1895, Ernest Cruttenden — himself Duck of the Year that season — made an identical trudge back against Rochester CC, one of 10 across a career running 1881 to 1912. Wednesday 8th August — Midweek XI v Bexley CC (h) Steve Cheesman kept the family tradition alive, trapped lbw by Michael Shelvey without scoring. His 4th duck of the season and, remarkably, his 4th in career from just 14 innings — an alarming early strike rate for a lad whose father Fred was doing much the same thing on Saturday, and whose brother Stuart carries a duck of his own. On this day in 1979, Paul Brattle also departed for nought, against Maidstone Police, en route to 25 career ducks between 1969 and 1990. Week in summary Three ducks from four matches, all first-ballers, and the Cheesman household providing two of them within five days — father Saturday, son Wednesday. Nobody's quite achieved the ceremonial family double yet, but the gene pool is clearly primed. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Fred Cheesman — 5 ducks, 17 innings, 29.4% 2. Steve Cheesman — 4 ducks, 12 innings, 33.3% 3. Matt Large — 4 ducks, 15 innings, 26.7% 4. Jon Harris — 4 ducks, 16 innings, 25.0% 5. Ron Kemp — 2 ducks, 4 innings, 50.0% The Cheesmans occupy top spot and second — a household to watch as the season enters its final stretch. Roll on next weekend, and may the zeros keep coming. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Five careless strokes across three afternoons this week — the zero club welcomes its latest instalments to a place of dubious distinction. Saturday 28 July — 1st XI v Hollingbourne CC Openers are meant to see off the shine, not surrender to it. David Castle went caught Hammond bowled Styche off just 4 balls, his 2nd duck of the season and 15th of a career now 229 innings deep — good enough for 44th on the all-time list and a paid-up member of the Tourist Duck top 10. On this very day in 1957, D- Jordan was performing the same trick against Folkestone CC. Some anniversaries you'd rather not keep. Sunday 29 July — Sunday NVKC v Horndon On The Hill CC Paul Gibson opened his 1990 account in the most efficient way available — first ball, bowled Mark Warren, gone before his eyes adjusted to the light. A proper golden duck, his 14th for the club from 197 innings and 50th in the all-time order. On this day in 1989, Matt Large was doing his own damage against Hollingbourne CC en route to 26 career ducks — proof the calendar has form. Thursday 2 August — Midweek XI v Moreton CC A trio for the taking at Moreton, and spookily all three echo the same page of history — on this very day in 1944, E- Humphreys was doing exactly this for the National Fire Service Overseas Contingent. Fred Cheesman, batting eight, fell for his 4th duck of the season and 14th of a career that already boasts the rare Full House honour — a duck at every position 1 to 11 — plus the current Duck of the Year 1990 board, making him the man everyone else is chasing this year. He sits 49th all time, with sons Steve (3 career ducks) and Stuart (1) proving the family trade runs deep. Ron Kemp joined him for his 2nd of the season, taking his career tally to 4 from just 19 innings — 144th on the all-time list, and a card-carrying member of the Retirement Duck honours, a title only ever awarded in hindsight. At number 11, Jon Harris completed the set with his 4th duck of the season and 67th of a career that ranks a staggering 3rd all time out of 1,140 — a three-time Duck of the Year (1976, 1980, 1981), fellow Full House holder alongside Fred, and a fixture of the Lone Duck and Homebody Duck top tens. Relative Richard Harris carries 36 career ducks of his own, so the family gene for leaving the off stump untroubled runs strong. A tidy week's harvest: 5 ducks from 4 fixtures, with Moreton doing the heavy lifting by supplying three in a single innings alone. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏏 - Matt Large — 14 innings, 4 ducks (28.6%) - Fred Cheesman — 15 innings, 4 ducks (26.7%) - Jon Harris — 16 innings, 4 ducks (25.0%) - Steve Cheesman — 10 innings, 3 ducks (30.0%) - Ron Kemp — 4 innings, 2 ducks (50.0%) Ron Kemp's 50% strike rate is one to watch — statistically, he's overdue a run any day now. The season presses on, and so, inevitably, will the ducks. See you next weekend for the next instalment of nought news. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Four matches, five ducks, and a rare Cheesman family gathering on the honours board. The exclusive zero club stays nicely topped up this week. 🏏 1st XI — Saturday 21st, home to Gravesend CC Matt Large fell to the wonderfully non-committal "c Unsure b Mark Housden" — even the scorebook couldn't put a name to it. His 4th duck of the season and 26th of a storied career (101 innings, 26th of 1140 all time), Matt is a three-time Duck of the Year (1987, 88, 89), a Debutante Duck alumnus, and sits one position shy of completing the Full House. He's also a fixture of the Homebody, Lone Duck and Ducks on the Road top tens. On this day in 1980, Martin Thompson was doing precisely the same against West Farleigh CC, a decade before his own Retirement Duck curtain call. 🏏 Midweek XI — a busy week Wednesday, away at Coleshill CC, Warks: Adrian Simmonds, bowled by Christopher Jones, opens his season's account and moves to 5 career ducks from just 13 innings — a rate to make the club's more prolific quackers blush. He's already a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck and Quack-to-Quack circles from way back. On this day in 1982, Trevor Back fell identically against The Mote CC. Thursday, at home to Fred Kenyons XI, the floodgates opened — three ducks in one innings, headlined by a proper family occasion. Fred Cheesman (lbw, D Hubberstey) and Steve Cheesman (c Townsend b Mills) — parent and child — both departed for nought, earning the Cheesmans a Duck and Ducklings entry: Fred's 13th career duck against Steve's 3rd, both their 3rd of the season, while sibling Stuart Cheesman (1 career duck) watches the family trade grow. Fred also wears the Duck of the Year 1990 crown, a completed Full House to his name, and a place in the Tourist Duck top ten. Not to be outdone, club legend Jon Harris also fell (b D Hubberstey), his 3rd duck of the season and 66th of an extraordinary career — 3rd on the all-time list of 1140. A three-time Duck of the Year (1976, 80, 81) and Full House member, Jon is about as decorated as the zero club allows, with kinsman Richard Harris not far behind on 36 career ducks himself. Fittingly, all three of Thursday's ducks share company across the decades: on this very day in 1940, J Short was doing exactly the same against Boughton Monchelsea CC. 📊 Week in Summary 5 ducks from 4 matches, with Thursday's Midweek XI trip doing the heavy lifting — three quacks and a family double in a single innings. Saturday's 1st XI fixture stayed comparatively restrained with just the one. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Matt Large — 4 ducks, 12 innings (33.3%) 2. Steve Cheesman — 3 ducks, 9 innings (33.3%) 3. Fred Cheesman — 3 ducks, 14 innings (21.4%) 4. Jon Harris — 3 ducks, 15 innings (20.0%) 5. Adrian Simmonds — 1 duck, 1 innings (100.0%) Next fixture awaits — who'll be joining the ledger this time? The Duck Club never sleeps. 🦆🏏

A quiet weekend in the Duck Club records room, and not the good kind of quiet. Two fixtures were played across the 14th and 15th, twenty-two Linton innings on offer, and not a single one obliged. Every batsman who walked to the crease found their way off the mark before finding their way off the pitch — the exclusive zero club held no inductions this weekend. The art of not scoring, it seems, took a rare day off. Whether this was determined batting, generous bowling, or simply everyone remembering at the last moment that a nought is for life, not just for Saturday, the Duck Club statisticians cannot say. What we can say is that the season standings sit exactly where they were on Friday evening — nobody gained a rung, nobody lost their nerve, and the honours boards remain undisturbed for at least one more week. Small mercies. Or, depending on your view of a good story, small disappointments. 🍩 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🍩 1. Matt Large — 3 ducks in 10 innings (30.0%) 2. Steve Cheesman — 2 ducks in 7 innings (28.57%) 3. Fred Cheesman — 2 ducks in 11 innings (18.18%) 4. Jon Harris — 2 ducks in 11 innings (18.18%) 5. G Sutton — 1 duck in 1 innings (100.0%) — perfect record, small sample size, watch this space Matt Large sits pretty at the top of the 1990 charts, with the Cheesman household well represented in the chasing pack — Steve and Fred keeping it in the family, just not on the same scorecard this time. And a word for G Sutton, who has faced precisely one innings this season and converted it directly into a duck — a flawless 100% strike rate that the rest of the club can only admire from a respectful distance. 📅 Onward to the next fixture, where normal service will surely resume. The ducks are out there somewhere, biding their time, and Linton's batsmen will not evade them forever. We watch. We wait. We celebrate — next week, probably. 🦆

Four matches across the week, and the Duck Club harvest was famously lean — just the one nought to report. Sometimes the ducks go into hiding; this was one of those weeks. Midweek XI Facing Gravesend CC on the 11th, Kevin Mullins marked his very first innings in senior colours the only way the Duck Club truly celebrates — b Peter Preston, no runs, out at number four. A genuine arrival in more ways than one: Kevin's maiden knock ends with his name going straight onto the Debutante Duck honours board, that most exclusive of welcome parties for those whose first taste of the crease is also their last of the day. It's duck number one of the season and duck number one of the career, landing him at 427 of 1140 in the all-time standings — nowhere to go from here but, presumably, up. On this day in 1967, Mike Stephens (LPCC, 1966-1970) also trudged back for a duck, against West Farleigh CC. Proof, if any were needed, that the calendar has always had a soft spot for scorelessness on the 11th of July. Week in Summary One duck from four fixtures is a quiet return by Duck Club standards — the other three sides evidently kept their heads down and their bats straight. Kevin's solitary contribution carries the season tally almost single-handedly for now, though the leaderboard below shows there's sterner competition waiting in the wings. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Matt Large — 3 ducks from 9 innings (33.33%) - Steve Cheesman — 2 ducks from 6 innings (33.33%) - Fred Cheesman — 2 ducks from 11 innings (18.18%) - Jon Harris — 2 ducks from 11 innings (18.18%) - G Sutton — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) Well played, Kevin, and welcome to the club nobody chooses but everyone eventually joins. The rest of you — next weekend's fixtures await, and the ducks are never far away. 🦆🍩

Two fixtures on the books this week, but the ducks kept their appointment at just the one ground — Linton Park's clash with Canterbury Pilgrims on 1 July proved a proper hunting ground, four names added to the ledger in a single innings. The exclusive zero club welcomes its latest recruits. 🏏 1st XI v Canterbury Pilgrims (home) Mark Stevenson opened the account at first drop, bowled by N Edens for his 1st duck of the season and 3rd of a 29-innings career — a tidy rank of 175th in the all-time list. On this very day in 1962, Len Conway was doing exactly the same thing against Tilling Steven, en route to a 12-duck career (1954–1965) and a place in the Debutante Duck club himself. Down at number 8, Steve Cheesman fell caught off an uncertain fielder, bowled X McCall — his 2nd of the season and 2nd of the career, a brisk start from only 8 innings (264th all time). Fittingly, the ducking habit runs in the family: parent Fred Cheesman already carries 12 career noughts and sibling Stuart Cheesman one of his own, so young Steve is in thoroughly qualified company. He too shares this date in history with Len Conway's 1962 effort. Matt Large, at 9, was caught and bowled by the relentless X McCall for his 3rd duck of the season and 25th of the career — a serious operator at 28th on the all-time list. Large's honours board reads like a testimonial: Debutante Duck, a hat-trick of Duck of the Year titles in 1987, 1988 and 1989, and fixtures in both the Ducks on the Road and Homebody Duck top tens, plus Full House nearly-man status, agonisingly one position shy of the complete set. He too keeps company with Len Conway on this date. And closing the innings, Jon Harris departed caught off the same unsettled fielder, bowled X McCall — his 2nd duck of the season, but a monumental 65th of the career from 469 innings, putting him 3rd on the entire all-time Linton list. Harris is a genuine Duck Club institution: a completed Full House (a duck at every position, 1 through 11), three Duck of the Year crowns (1976, 1980, 1981), and residency in the Lone Duck, Homebody Duck and Tourist Duck top tens, alongside shared-quack honours with Allan Cooper, Jim Hall and Trevor Back. His son Richard Harris carries 36 career ducks of his own — clearly a family with an eye for the art of not scoring. Jon rounds out the day's Len Conway connection, four Linton men separated by 28 years but united by the same fateful date. 📋 Week in Summary Four ducks, one match, one thoroughly productive afternoon for Canterbury's bowlers. Positions 8, 9 and 11 all fell in the same passage of play — a lower-order collapse of genuinely historic proportions, with X McCall claiming three of the four scalps himself. Consistency of a very particular kind. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Matt Large — 9 inn, 3 ducks (33.3%) - Steve Cheesman — 6 inn, 2 ducks (33.3%) - Fred Cheesman — 10 inn, 2 ducks (20.0%) - Jon Harris — 10 inn, 2 ducks (20.0%) - G Sutton — 1 inn, 1 duck (100.0%) A tight scrap at the top, and with the season still in full swing there's plenty of time for fresh challengers. Next fixture, the ducks will no doubt be watching keenly — bring your bat, and bring your sense of humour. 🍩0️⃣🏏

Three fixtures out on the park this weekend and the Duck Club's nets came back all but empty — just a single addition to the ledger. Quality over quantity, as they say in the exclusive zero club. Sunday — NVKC v Crockham Hill CC Coming in at number 9, Alan Boyns departed run out without so much as facing a ball — the bowler never got a sniff, and neither did he. That's the purest kind of nothing: a genuine Diamond Duck, out before the contest even began, and with the calendar obliging, this season's own Diamond Duck honour lands squarely on Alan's shoulders. It's his 1st duck of the 1990 season and the 9th of a career now running to 67 innings, good enough for 71st on the all-time list of 1,135. Neat symmetry too — on this very day back in 1975, Ian Brattle (who turned out for the club 1973–1990) was performing the identical vanishing act against Leybourne CC, one of an eventual 21 ducks that saw him settle at 36th in the all-time standings. History, it seems, likes to repeat itself in June. Week in Summary One duck from three matches is a distinctly lean haul — the rest of the club, rather rudely, insisted on troubling the scorers. Still, a Diamond Duck is worth two ordinary ones in ceremonial terms, so the honours board hasn't done badly for its trouble. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🥇 Matt Large — 2 ducks / 7 innings (28.6%) 🥈 Fred Cheesman — 2 ducks / 9 innings (22.2%) 3️⃣ G Sutton — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 3️⃣ Stuart Cheesman — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 3️⃣ Tom Whyte — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) A congested chasing pack behind Matt Large, with three players already boasting a flawless 100% strike rate for nought — early days yet, plenty of time for someone to spoil that perfect record. 🏏 Next weekend brings fresh fixtures and, in all likelihood, fresh casualties for the honours board. The Duck Club never sleeps — see you at the crease. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A rare and unsettling bulletin from the Duck Club this week: across three fixtures on Linton's books, not a single soul troubled the scorers for nought. Three full matches, and the zero column stayed stubbornly, insultingly empty. Let it be recorded for posterity that the art of not scoring was, for once, not practised anywhere on the club's books this weekend. Whether this represents a sudden and worrying outbreak of competence, or simply the ducks going to ground until the coast is clear, only time will tell. The exclusive zero club does not take a week off lightly, and its members will not be pleased to see the honours board gathering dust. Do not be fooled into thinking the drought will last. Ducks are, by nature, patient creatures — they wait for a placid full toss, a moment's inattention, a sharp one down the leg side, and then they strike. Somewhere out there, a golden duck is already being plotted. 0️⃣ Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 0️⃣ 🥇 Matt Large — 2 ducks from 6 innings (33.3%) 🥈 Fred Cheesman — 2 ducks from 8 innings (25.0%) 🥉 G Sutton — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) 4️⃣ Stuart Cheesman — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) 5️⃣ Tom Whyte — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) Special mention to the podium's perfect trio — Sutton, S Cheesman and Whyte all sitting on a flawless 100% strike rate for failure, a standard of consistency the rest of the club can only dream of matching. Matt Large leads the pack proper, though with six innings already under his belt he'll know better than most that the ducks are never far away. 🏏 Roll on the next round of fixtures — with a start this quiet, something has to give. The zero club will be watching every scorecard with interest, and it would take only one careless waft outside off stump to get the tallies moving again. Bring your bats, gentlemen, and bring your ducks. 🦆

Three fixtures fell in this short window, but the Duck Club only needed one of them. On 12 June, the 1st XI's trip to face Maidstone Teachers produced a full house of ignominy — three ducks in the same innings, which is either terrible luck or a suspiciously good length from the home attack. 1st XI v Maidstone Teachers Opener Piers McDonald fell bowled by A West, a tidy nought that becomes his 5th career duck from 57 innings — 118th on the all-time list, and a man who needs no introduction to the Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top tens, where he's long been a fixture. Neatly, on this very date back in 1960, John Abnett was doing much the same thing against Halfway House — some traditions simply won't die. Down at 9, Keith Francis was run out for nought — communication, it seems, was Unsure's department today. His 2nd career duck from just 5 innings, 241st of 1130, and a card-carrying member of the Debutante Duck club from his own first Linton knock. Fittingly, 1960 struck again — Abnett's ghost was very much in the building on 12 June, whichever era you check the fixture list. And at 10, Stuart Cheesman made his senior bow the hard way, bowled by D Todd first time out — a genuine Debutante Duck, freshly minted rather than historical, and instant membership of the Full House roll for good measure. He arrives with pedigree too: parent Fred Cheesman already carries 12 career ducks, and sibling Steve Cheesman sits on 1 — clearly a family that takes "duck" seriously. And yes, 1960 again — the third Linton man in a row to share his nought with Abnett's own, 30 years apart to the day. Week in summary One match did all the damage — the other two fixtures in the period passed entirely duck-free, which either says a lot for Linton's batting elsewhere or simply that Maidstone Teachers had their homework in. No pairs, no king pairs, no family doubles this week — just a clean sweep of three fresh entries on the honours board. Worth noting: Stuart's father Fred is currently propping up the season table below, so the Cheesman name may yet feature twice before this campaign's out. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Matt Large — 2 ducks, 6 innings (33%) 2. Fred Cheesman — 2 ducks, 8 innings (25%) 3. G Sutton — 1 duck, 1 innings (100%) 3. Stuart Cheesman — 1 duck, 1 innings (100%) 3. Tom Whyte — 1 duck, 1 innings (100%) A newly-arrived Stuart Cheesman slots straight into the top five on debut — the art of not scoring, apparently, runs in the blood. Next fixture beckons, and the exclusive zero club always has room for one more. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Two fixtures out for Linton Park this week, and the zero club kept the guest list refreshingly short — just the one caller. Still, it only takes one to set the honours board rustling. Saturday 2nd June 1st XI away at Milstead CC Fred Cheesman strode out at number 10 and, with typical economy, was bowled by D Simler first ball — a proper golden duck 🍩, no time even to take guard. It's his 2nd of the season and his 12th for the club from 70 innings, keeping him at 53rd of 1,125 in the all-time list. Fred is also a fully paid-up member of the Full House board, having now made a duck in every position from 1 to 11 — a feat of thoroughness few would boast about — and shares the exclusive Only Two Quacks pairing with Adam Pooley. He features in the Tourist Duck top 10 too, so fittingly this one came on the road. Keep an eye on the family tree as well — relative Steve Cheesman already carries a career duck of his own, so the tendency may run in the blood. Spookily, on this very day back in 1983, Ian Webb — who played for the club 1976–1986 and finished with 11 career ducks, 59th all-time — also strolled back for nought, against Ditton CC. The 2nd of June has form. With Duck of the Year 1990 already stamped next to his name, Fred remains very much the man to beat in this season's race for further ignominy. Elsewhere The week's second fixture passed off disappointingly quietly for connoisseurs — every batsman got off the mark and the ledger stayed untroubled. Week in summary One duck from two matches, and a golden one at that — efficient, if nothing else, from a squad clearly on its best behaviour. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 - Fred Cheesman — 6 innings, 2 ducks (33%) - Matt Large — 6 innings, 2 ducks (33%) - G Sutton — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Tom Whyte — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Jim Hall — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) Fred and Matt share the pace at the top, but with G Sutton and Tom Whyte both boasting a flawless 100% strike rate for nought, nobody's record is truly safe. Next fixture beckons, and the exclusive zero club's doors remain very much open. Get your name down early. 🦆0️⃣

Four matches on the fixture list this week and the ducks kept a remarkably low profile, surfacing just twice — though when they did, they did it with a flourish, claiming the last two men in the order in the very same innings. A vegan week almost, but not quite. 🏏 1st XI v XII Men (home, 28 May) The tail took a proper hammering here. At number 10, G Sutton became the newest name in the book, trapped lbw by Eddie Oyderian without so much as a whimper. It's his first senior innings for the club, which means an immediate and unavoidable induction onto the Debutante Duck board — there's no gentler way into the exclusive zero club than nought on arrival. As it stands he's also flying the flag for the "One and Done" set of 1990, that curious fellowship whose entire recorded batting career amounts to a single, solitary duck. Whether he stays there is, happily, entirely up to him. He slots into the all-time list at 368th of 1125 — good company, if company you can call it. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1928, Bert Buckoke was doing much the same thing, the first of the 12 ducks that would eventually see him twice crowned Duck of the Year. He didn't wait long for reinforcements. One ball later — or thereabouts — Tom Whyte strode out at 11 and was promptly bowled by John Payne, also for nought, also on debut. Two brand new members inducted in the same over is the sort of efficiency most committees can only dream of. Tom sits 509th of 1125 in the all-time reckoning and, appropriately enough, shares his on-this-day parallel with Sutton — Bert Buckoke was clearly a man for late-May carnage in 1928 too. Worth noting for the genealogists among us: Tom's sibling Peter Whyte already carries 7 career ducks, so the family name is not entirely unfamiliar to these pages. A genuine last-wicket duck double, then — the top and tail of a Duck of the Year charge, if either fancies making a habit of it. 📋 Elsewhere The other three fixtures this week passed off suspiciously well for the batting side — no further additions to the ledger, which either speaks to good form or simply a shortage of witnesses. Either way, the Duck Club's harvest for the week rests at two, both from the same tail, both on debut. A rare kind of symmetry. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Matt Large — 4 innings, 2 ducks (50%) - G Sutton — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Mike Bains — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Tom Whyte — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Jim Hall — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) Sutton and Whyte arrive at the top table with perfect, if inauspicious, records — plenty of season left for someone to knock them off it. Roll on the next fixture, when the ducks will no doubt reconvene to remind everyone why this club exists in the first place. 🦆🍩

A short but perfectly formed haul this week: three ducks, three matches, and every single one of them wearing 1st XI colours. The zero club never rests. 🏏 1st XI Saturday 19th, at home to Headcorn CC, opener David Castle set the weekend's tone early, bowled by Dave Harden without troubling the scorers. It's his 14th career duck from 205 innings, good for 47th on the all-time list, and another entry for his growing Tourist Duck top 10 collection. Rather splendidly, on this very day in 1974 club legend Paul Bowles was also walking back for nought — Bowles went on to 46 career ducks (7th all-time) and two Duck of the Year gongs, so David keeps distinguished company on the calendar if nothing else. Then away to Battle CC on the 20th, the middle order suffered a proper double blow. Tim Thirkell, in at five, went the way of "b Unsure" — cricket's most honest umpire's-not-sure dismissal — for his 62nd career duck in 532 innings, cementing 4th place on the all-time chart and adding to a groaning honours shelf: Duck of the Year 1972, Full House, and top-10 spots in both Homebody and Lone Duck. Fittingly, the on-this-day parallel for 1950 belongs to none other than his own father John Thirkell — the undisputed number one on the all-time list with 90 ducks — proving the family trait skips no generations. One place later, Fred Cheesman joined him in the pavilion, also "b Unsure", for his 11th career duck from 67 innings and 58th on the all-time roll. Fred currently tops the Duck of the Year 1990 table — very much live business this season — and adds to his Full House and Tourist Duck top 10 credentials. He shares the 1950 on-this-day nod with Tim, keeping John Thirkell's ghost busy on two write-ups at once. Worth noting Fred's son Steve Cheesman is already a paid-up member of the club himself, and currently lurking on the season leaderboard below. 📊 Week in Summary Three matches, three ducks, one mini-collapse at Battle CC where numbers five and six departed for nothing within the same innings. The 1990 Duck of the Year race is well and truly open with Fred Cheesman setting the early pace. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Matt Large — 3 innings, 2 ducks (66.7%) - Mike Bains — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Jim Hall — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) - S Froom — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) - Steve Cheesman — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) Plenty of movement possible at the top before the next round of fixtures. Get out there, middle order — the zero club always has room for one more. 🦆0️⃣

Three fixtures graced the club this week, and for two of them the ducks stayed firmly out of range. Then Tuesday happened. 🏏 1st XI v Leybourne CC (Tues 15th, home) Saturday and Sunday passed off duck-free — a rare spell of collective competence — but Linton's middle and lower order at Leybourne on Tuesday made up for it in style, with three names added to the ledger in a single innings. First to go was Jim Hall, run out at number six for reasons the scorebook records only as "Unsure" — which feels, on reflection, entirely fitting. This is Jim's first duck of the season and his 69th for the club, keeping him lodged at a startling number 2 in the all-time standings, a three-time Duck of the Year (1970, 1977 and 1985) and just one berth shy of completing the exclusive Full House. On this very day in 1968, Fred Greenfield (1964–1981) was also walking back for nought, against Reeds CC — some things never change with the calendar. Two overs later R Scrivens got to work, first removing Steve Cheesman, bowled for a duck in only his third senior innings — his maiden career nought, and he shares today's date in club history with the very same Fred Greenfield. A promising start to Steve's Linton ledger, and one his relative Fred Cheesman, sitting on 10 career ducks of his own, will no doubt welcome him into the family tradition. R Scrivens then claimed Jon Harris too, caught behind off his own bowling at number nine — Jon's first duck of 1990 and 64th for the club overall, good enough for 3rd on the all-time chart. A three-time Duck of the Year himself (1976, 1980, 1981), Jon already owns the completed Full House and, rather neatly, holds a standing "Quacking Together" honour with none other than Jim Hall — the two of them evidently making a habit of failing in company, and doing so again this very afternoon. His kinsman Richard Harris carries 36 career ducks of his own, so the family name is well represented on the honours board. 📊 Week in Summary Three ducks from three matches, every single one arriving in the same innings at Leybourne — R Scrivens can rightly claim a brace, and the top two places in Linton's all-time duck rankings both quacked within minutes of each other. Saturday and Sunday, by contrast, offered nothing but batting competence, which frankly isn't what we're here for. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Matt Large — 2 ducks, 2 innings, 100% 2. Jim Hall — 1 duck, 1 innings, 100% 3. Mike Bains — 1 duck, 1 innings, 100% 4. Steve Cheesman — 1 duck, 1 innings, 100% 5. Ron Kemp — 1 duck, 2 innings, 50% Four names locked at a perfect 100% — early season form is emphatic. 🥇🍩 Next fixture looms and the exclusive zero club never sleeps. Get out there, get in, and give us something to write about. 🦆0️⃣

Four fixtures went out this week, and it took until the very last of them for the exclusive zero club to start taking new members. The 1st XI's trip to Hollingbourne CC on the 8th proved a productive afternoon for the visitors' bowling attack and a rather less productive one for four of our own, queuing up through the middle and lower order. The other three fixtures of the week passed serenely, quackless, by. 1st XI v Hollingbourne CC (away, 8 May) At number six, Mike Bains was bowled by Mark Styche — his 1st duck of the season and 3rd of an 18-innings career, 176th of 1121 on the all-time roll. On this very date back in 1960, Alan Wilkes was walking back for nought too, one of an eventual 22 in a career that ran 1953 to 1978 against Halfway House — the calendar keeps good company. Ron Kemp followed at seven, run out for nought — a duck earned by nobody's fault but the scoreboard's. His 1st of the season and 3rd of a 16-innings career, 184th all-time, and a fully paid-up member of the Retirement Duck honours board from a past farewell — this was merely business as usual, not a second retirement. He shares 8 May with that same 1960 vintage, Alan Wilkes, en route to his 22. At eight came Matt Large, caught Trevor Hales off the ever-busy Mark Styche, his 2nd duck of the season and a hefty 24th of the career — three-time Duck of the Year (1987, 1988, 1989), a fixture of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, and nearly-man on the Full House board with 10 of 11 positions ducked out. The calendar points to Wilkes again — his 1960 duck against Halfway House was one of that same 22. And at number ten, S Froom announced himself to the club in the most traditional way possible — caught M Cheeseman off Mark Styche, first senior innings, first senior duck, a genuine Debutante Duck straight off the bat. Even the debut lines up with history: 8 May was Alan Wilkes' duck day too, back in 1960, on his way to 22 for the career. Week in Summary Four ducks from four fixtures, all delivered in a single Hollingbourne innings — and Mark Styche can claim three of the four scalps himself, a fine week's work for Hollingbourne and a miserable one for ours. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Matt Large — 2 innings, 2 ducks (100%) 2. Mike Bains — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 3. Ron Kemp — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 4. S Froom — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 5. Nigel Thirkell — 5 innings, 1 duck (20%) Four names sitting on a perfect record this early in the season — plenty of time yet for redemption, or further ignominy. The next fixture awaits its own contributions to the honours board. Bring your bats, gentlemen — the zero club is always recruiting. 🦆

The 1990 season is barely a fortnight old and the exclusive zero club has already opened its books. Two matches in the period, one of them duck-free, the other doing all the work. Saturday 28th April — 1st XI v Penshurst Park CC (home) In at first wicket down, Nigel Thirkell saw off three deliveries before J Harley found a way through — a slow puncture rather than a blowout, no golden duck here. It's Nigel's 1st of the fresh season and the 43rd of a career now spanning 679 innings, good enough for 9th on the all-time list of 1119. A former Duck of the Year (1986), fixture of both the Homebody Duck and Tourist Duck top tens, and co-holder of the "Only Two Quacks" board alongside Jim Hall — quite the collector's portfolio for a man who barely troubles the bowlers. On this very day in 1956, R Vincent was doing much the same thing against West Farleigh CC, so Nigel keeps fine historical company. At number nine, Matt Large enjoyed no such grace period — first ball, bowled F Goldsmith, gone. A proper, textbook golden duck 0️⃣. It's Matt's 1st of the season and 23rd for the club from just 90 innings, 32nd on the all-time chart. A three-time reigning Duck of the Year (1987, 1988, 1989) and paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club — he ducked on debut too, naturally — Matt also sits on the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, and is agonisingly one position shy of the Full House, having now been dismissed for nought in 10 of the 11 batting slots. Fittingly, R Vincent got there first for him as well, same 1956 vintage, same fixture against West Farleigh CC. Sunday 29th April The follow-up fixture passed off entirely fowl-free — a rare weekend of restraint from the rest of the playing staff. Week in summary Two ducks from two matches, both served up by the 1st XI's middle-and-lower order at Penshurst Park CC. Early days yet, but the machinery is turning nicely. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 - Matt Large — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Nigel Thirkell — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% Two down before May's even arrived. Plenty more fixtures to come and plenty more collectors circling — get out there, middle order, and give the statisticians something to write home about. 🦆🏏