🦆 The Duck Pond

A single fixture, a single duck — but a quality one, so let's not skimp on the ceremony. 1st XI Nigel Thirkell strode in at four and departed without troubling the scorers, caught Michael Waghorn off the bowling of N Bennett. It's his 5th duck of the summer and the 12th of a career now standing at 73 innings — enough to install him at 38th of 899 in the all-time table of ignominy. Nigel is no stranger to the honours boards either: a paid-up member of both the Homebody Duck and Tourist Duck top tens, and half of the exclusive Only Two Quacks arrangement with Jim Hall. The failing clearly runs in the blood — his parent-child kin John Thirkell has quietly amassed 81 career ducks of his own, with sibling Tim on 20 and Stuart contributing a solitary entry to keep the family name on the board. Fittingly, on this very day in 1957 Stan Wratten also walked back for nought against this same opposition, en route to 31 career ducks and 9th place all-time — a founding member of the Quacking Together society alongside John Ames. Some traditions, it seems, are worth repeating on the calendar as well as the scorecard. Week in Summary One match, one duck — a modest harvest by Duck Club standards, but every nought counts toward the ledger. Bexhill CC can consider themselves honorary contributors to the 1973 tally. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🏆 1. Colin Dicker — 7 ducks, 15 innings (46.67%) 2. Mike Iliffe — 6 ducks, 26 innings (23.08%) 3. Jon Harris — 6 ducks, 40 innings (15.00%) 4. Paul Brattle — 6 ducks, 41 innings (14.63%) 5. Nigel Thirkell — 5 ducks, 34 innings (14.71%) Colin Dicker sits in commanding form at nearly one duck in every two visits to the crease — truly the art of not scoring, perfected. 🦆 The season isn't done yet. Next fixture brings fresh opportunity for glory of the wrong kind — bats at the ready, and may fortune continue to desert the deserving. 0️⃣🏏

A rare and troubling weekend for the Duck Club faithful: two fixtures played, both grafted through without a single nought to show for it. Every bat that walked to the crease walked back having laid at least a claim to some runs, however modest. The zero club's doors stood open all weekend and, scandalously, nobody came knocking. 0️⃣ Ducks recorded: none. Not a golden one, not a pair, not so much as a nervy single stopping a king pair in its tracks. The hunting season carries on unblemished this week, which is either a triumph of application or simply everyone remembering, for once, to look at the ball. We shan't dwell on it. The greats did not become great overnight, and a quiet weekend is merely the séance before the storm. Somewhere out there a batsman is shouldering arms to one that's straightening back in, and we will hear about it in due course. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1973 1. Colin Dicker — 7 ducks in 15 innings (46.67%) — comfortably the season's most committed non-scorer, closing in on half his innings ending in a blob 2. Mike Iliffe — 6 ducks in 25 innings (24.0%) — quietly consistent in his inconsistency 3. Jon Harris — 6 ducks in 39 innings (15.38%) — proof that quantity of innings is no defence against quality of failure 4. Paul Brattle — 6 ducks in 40 innings (15.0%) — level with Harris on ducks, just working harder for the privilege 5. John Thirkell — 4 ducks in 14 innings (28.57%) — the nearly-man of the top five, and the one with the highest strike rate for going nowhere Colin Dicker sits well clear at the summit with a duck rate the rest of the club would call an affliction and we call an achievement. The chasing pack of Iliffe, Harris and Brattle remain locked together on six apiece, a proper scrap for the runner-up spot as the season winds toward its close. 🏏 Onward to the next fixtures, where normal service — a bat beaten all ends up, a leading edge ballooned to gully, an LBW shout upheld a fraction early — will surely resume. The Duck Club never sleeps for long. Get out there and give us something to write about. 🦆🍩

A quiet couple of days for the Linton willow but a productive one for the Club — four fresh entries to the ledger, and one very familiar name doing most of the damage. 🏏 Saturday 15th — Southborough CC (away) The 1st XI's trip to Southborough proved fertile hunting ground, yielding two additions inside a single innings. Mike Iliffe departed for nought, bowled by Richard Russell at number eight — his 6th duck of the season and 28th of an increasingly distinguished Linton career, good enough for 11th on the all-time list of 899. On this very day back in 1963, Norman Mattingley was doing much the same against Staplehurst CC, one of five ducks in a career running 1963-1965. Colin Dicker followed him back, bowled by Alan Honess at number ten, for his 7th duck of the season — taking him to 8 career ducks in a mere 17 innings, a strike rate for failure most of the club can only envy. Colin already carries the Duck of the Year 1973 honour, and with the leaderboard below confirming he's out in front by some distance, the rest of the field have their work cut out. He too keeps company with Norman Mattingley's 1963 vintage on this same date. 🏏 Sunday 16th — Mersham Hatch (home) Back on home soil, the ducks kept coming. Allan Cooper fell at number eight, bowled by F-H- Ames — his 4th of the season, 6th of his career, and 66th on the all-time roll. Allan is a three-time paid-up member of the exclusive Only Two Quacks fraternity, sharing duck-pairs history down the years with Jim Hall, Jon Harris and Trevor Back. On this day in 1962, Richard Ashby was suffering identically against Staplehurst CC, on his way to 24 career ducks. Ron Hickman brought up the weekend's fourth and final duck, lbw to B. Campbell at number ten — his 3rd of the season, 22nd of his career, and a lofty 20th all-time. Ron's Runaway Duck honour still stands from a chastening 1965 season without troubling the scorers, and like Allan he finds historical fellowship with Richard Ashby's 1962 nought. 📊 Week in Summary Four ducks from two matches, and in both games it was the lower order — numbers 8 and 10 falling each time — doing the honours. The top order will be quietly relieved. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Colin Dicker — 7 ducks / 14 innings (50%) 2. Mike Iliffe — 6 ducks / 24 innings (25%) 3. Jon Harris — 6 ducks / 38 innings (15.79%) 4. Paul Brattle — 6 ducks / 38 innings (15.79%, tied with Jon) 5. John Thirkell — 4 ducks / 13 innings (30.77%) Colin Dicker sits handsomely clear at the top, right on course for the Duck of the Year 1973 crown he already wears. Roll on next weekend — the exclusive zero club never stays quiet for long. 🦆

Two fixtures out on the road that weekend, but it was the away day at Bexhill CC that did the damage, handing the 1st XI a brace of noughts and keeping the exclusive zero club nicely ticking over as the 1973 season heads for home. 1st XI — Bexhill CC (away) John Ames set the tone at first drop, lbw to Robert Saxby for a duck that's now his 1st of the season and 45th of an extraordinary career spanning 364 innings, good for 3rd on the all time list and one of the true grandmasters of the art of not scoring. Ames is a fixture of the Ducks in a Row board, four on the spin, a feat few would attempt on purpose, and turns up twice more in the Quacking Together registers alongside Roy Clarke and Stan Wratten, plus an Only Two Quacks entry shared with Alan Wilkes. On this very day back in 1961, John Crellin (1961 to 1965, 9 ducks, Duck of the Year that season) was performing the identical ceremony against St Lukes Maidstone CC. The calendar has a long memory. Two down the order, Nigel Thirkell fell to Saxby's second victim of the innings, caught behind by Michael Waghorn. It's his 4th duck of the season and 11th of a career built across 69 innings, 40th on the all time chart, with Homebody Duck, Tourist Duck and an Only Two Quacks pairing with Jim Hall all decorating his honours board. Ducking evidently runs in the family, father John Thirkell carries 81 career noughts of his own, brother Tim a further 20, and kinsman Stuart 1, and rather neatly John himself pops up down in the season charts below. Like Ames, Nigel shares his on this day duck with John Crellin's 1961 vintage, a matched pair 12 years and two very different Thirkells apart. Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks, one bowler doing all the damage. Robert Saxby claimed both scalps for Bexhill, an lbw and a catch behind, a fine afternoon's poultry farming. The other fixture escaped entirely unscathed. Quality over quantity this week, but the Duck of the Year race grinds on regardless. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🥇 - Colin Dicker — 6 ducks in 13 innings (46.15%) - Paul Brattle — 6 ducks in 36 innings (16.67%) - Jon Harris — 6 ducks in 37 innings (16.22%) - Mike Iliffe — 5 ducks in 23 innings (21.74%) - John Thirkell — 4 ducks in 12 innings (33.33%) Colin Dicker leads on sheer percentage alone, though Brattle and Harris are matching him duck for duck further down the table. Plenty of season left yet for a late surge to the top of this most dubious of tables. Next up, another round of fixtures and no doubt further contributions to the cause. The zero club never sleeps, see you all next week for the inevitable additions. 🦆🍩

A vintage weekend for the exclusive zero club, with Linton's top order queueing up at Whitstable before honours resumed down at Staplehurst. Five ducks in two days is a proper harvest for early September — read on. Saturday 1 September — Whitstable CC (away) Openers are meant to set the tone, and Tim Thirkell did exactly that, trudging back lbw to John Robertson without troubling the shine. His 3rd duck of the season and 20th for the club sees him hold at 22nd on the all-time list of 899 — a list he already adorns as Duck of the Year 1972 and a fully paid-up Full House member, having now ducked at every position from 1 to 11. On this very day in 1968, Paul Bowles (1965–1973) was completing the identical ritual against Staplehurst on his way to 23 career ducks. The Thirkell name runs deep in club folklore too, with kin John (81 career ducks), Nigel (10) and Stuart (1) quietly building tallies of their own. 0️⃣ Alan Cradduck followed at six, bowled by S. Tritton for his 4th duck of the season and 15th of a career now 30th all-time — a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from his own first-ever innings, and no stranger to the Ducks in a Row honour either. Paul Bowles, naturally, was doing the same thing on this day in 1968. Terry Donovan continued the procession at eight, lbw to Tritton for his 3rd of the season and 17th overall, 28th all-time — a Duck of the Year alumnus from 1964, and just one position shy of completing his own Full House. Same day, same Bowles, 1968. But the day belonged to Ian Brattle, who marked his first-ever senior innings for the club with a first-ball retreat — bowled by Tritton for career duck number one of one, a genuine Debutante Duck earned the hard way. Brother Paul Brattle is no stranger to the honours board either, sitting on 11 career ducks and currently propping up the season's top five. 🍩 Sunday 2 September — Staplehurst CC (away) Jon Harris made it five for the weekend, bowled by J Munn for his 6th duck of the season and 18th of an extensively decorated career, 26th all-time. Jon's honours board reads like a small library — Full House, Lone Duck top ten, Homebody and Tourist Duck top tens both, plus Quacking Together doubles alongside both Jim Hall and Trevor Back. Paul Bowles was at it again on this day in 1968, this time against Bearsted. Kin Richard Harris (36 career ducks) keeps it in the family. Five ducks, two matches, one thoroughly efficient top order. Jon's sixth of the season also cements him at 3rd in the current standings — right behind Ian's brother Paul. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 1. Colin Dicker — 12 inns, 6 ducks (50.0%) 2. Paul Brattle — 34 inns, 6 ducks (17.65%) 3. Jon Harris — 36 inns, 6 ducks (16.67%) 4. Mike Iliffe — 23 inns, 5 ducks (21.74%) 5. John Thirkell — 11 inns, 4 ducks (36.36%) Next fixture beckons — who's queueing up to join the club this time? 🦆🏏

Four matches, four ducks, and a proper cluster of them from the Bearsted fixture. The exclusive zero club welcomes its latest inductees. 🏏 1st XI Tuesday 26th, away to Mersham Hatch — Paul Brattle departed early, caught J. Smith off W. Jeanes, for his 5th duck of the season and 10th of his career from 80 innings, sitting 40th of 898 in the all-time roll. On this very day in 1962, LPCC great John Ames also strolled back for nought, against Sevenoaks Vine CC, on his way to a mighty 44 career ducks and 3rd place all-time. Brattle wasn't finished. Wednesday 27th, away to Bearsted CC, he opened the batting and was promptly bowled by Clive Britcher — duck number 6 of the season, 11th of his career, and a grim back-to-back pair to close the week. Fittingly, on this day in 1949 Richard Harris was doing exactly the same against Hunton Wanderers CC, en route to 36 career ducks and 6th on the all-time list. Brattle remains a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from his own first-innings blob years ago, and keeps distinguished company off the field too — his forebear Frank Brattle carries 38 career ducks, with Percy Brattle a further 16 behind him. Clearly a family with a gift for the art of not scoring. The same Bearsted innings claimed a second victim. Batting at 10, Colin Dicker was bowled by Fred Ovey without troubling the scorers — his 6th duck of the season, drawing him level with Brattle at the top of the pile, and his 7th career duck from a mere 15 innings, a startling strike rate that has already earned him the Duck of the Year 1973 crown. Rank 62 of 898 and rising fast. Like Brattle's second effort, this one echoes Richard Harris's Hunton Wanderers duck of 1949 — two Linton men, 24 years apart, both undone on the same August afternoon in history. 🌳 Midweek XI Thursday 29th, at home to Gravesend CC, Mike Iliffe was run out — the fielder unconfirmed but the outcome painfully clear — for his 5th duck of the season. It's his 27th career duck from 171 innings, keeping him a lofty 12th of 898 on the all-time list, a testament to a very particular kind of consistency at the crease. On this day back in 1954, Stan Wratten made his own duck against D Hambrook XI, one of 31 he'd amass across a three-decade Linton career. 📋 Week in Summary Four ducks from four matches, three of them clustered into a single grim Wednesday — Bearsted CC clearly fancied their chances with the ball. Brattle's pair was the week's headline abjection, but Dicker's economy of innings deserves its own round of applause. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Colin Dicker — 12 innings, 6 ducks, 50.0% 2. Paul Brattle — 32 innings, 6 ducks, 18.75% 3. Mike Iliffe — 22 innings, 5 ducks, 22.73% 4. Jon Harris — 34 innings, 5 ducks, 14.71% 5. John Thirkell — 10 innings, 4 ducks, 40.0% Dicker and Brattle share top spot on ducks but couldn't be further apart on rate — triumph through adversity, wherever you sit on that table. The season's not done yet, and there's still time for the standings to turn. See you all at the next fixture — the ducks certainly will be.

A short week and a sharp one — just three fixtures, but the exclusive zero club still found time to induct four new members, all of them, as it happens, wearing 1st XI colours. 🏏 1st XI — Bobbing Court CC (Saturday 18th) A miserable middle-and-lower order for the 1sts saw three ducks fall in a single innings. Paul Brattle went first, bowled by Richard Witts, his 4th duck of the season and 9th of an increasingly seasoned career — 76 innings in, rank 50 of 897, and level company with B Westover, David Gale, Gerald Wright and John Crellin on the all-time ledger. He's long been a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, and the art of not scoring evidently runs in the blood — father Frank Brattle carries 38 career ducks, kinsman Percy Brattle another 16. Splendidly, on this very date in 1963, club legend John Thirkell was doing exactly the same thing against The Mote CC. Next man in fared no better. Nigel Thirkell was caught behind off Roger Mills for his 3rd of the season and 10th career duck in 64 innings, good for 44th all-time and a fixture on both the Homebody Duck and Tourist Duck top tens, plus an Only Two Quacks pairing with Jim Hall. His parallel is a family affair with extra spice — that very 1963 nought belonged to none other than his own father, John Thirkell, still the club's all-time duck monarch on 81. Brother Tim, on 19 career ducks, keeps the tradition thoroughly alive. Last man Colin Dicker completed the collapse, caught off Roger Mills, for his 5th duck of the season — a remarkable return from just 14 career innings, taking him to 6 overall and 66th on the all-time list. More pressingly, the board reads Duck of the Year 1973, and with the season numbers below, that title looks increasingly like his to lose. He too found an echo of John Thirkell's 1963 nought waiting for him down the years. 🏏 1st XI — The Mote CC (Sunday 19th) Mike Iliffe carried the family name for solitary suffering the next day, bowled by Phil Briant for his 4th duck of the season and 26th of a genuinely formidable career — 169 innings, and a top-twelve all-time placing at 12 of 897 that few will ever trouble. History rhymed neatly here too: on this same date in 1956, John --'s Taylor made a duck in this very fixture against Mote A, one of 15 in a career running 1949 to 1960. The third fixture of the week, mercifully for someone, proved a vegan affair entirely free of fowl. 📋 Week in brief Four ducks from three matches, and a rather eerie thread running through them — three of this week's four duckers each found their historical twin in club legend John Thirkell's own nought, struck on this exact date a decade earlier in 1963. For one of them it wasn't just a coincidence but the family record book. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Colin Dicker — 5 ducks in 11 innings (45.45%) - Jon Harris — 5 ducks in 31 innings (16.13%) - John Thirkell — 4 ducks in 10 innings (40.0%) - Mike Iliffe — 4 ducks in 20 innings (20.0%) - Paul Brattle — 4 ducks in 28 innings (14.29%) Colin Dicker sits proudly atop the pile, but with Jon Harris level on ducks and John Thirkell posting an eye-watering 40% strike rate in limited innings, the Duck of the Year race is far from settled. Roll on next weekend — the ducks, as ever, will be waiting. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A quieter week for the Zero Club, but quality over quantity: seven noughts across two fixtures, some famous names among them, and one honours-board pairing reprised in real time rather than just read about. The full accounting: Saturday 11 August — 1st XI v Headcorn CC (h) - Nigel Thirkell held station at four but fell for nought, caught Whatman off Bourne — his 2nd duck of the season and 9th career, good for 49th on the all-time list, and a paid-up member of both the Homebody and Tourist Duck top tens. On this very day in 1906, C L Pemberton was doing much the same. Nigel's father John Thirkell tops the entire club register on 81 career ducks — clearly the family trade is well learned. - Colin Dicker followed at ten, caught Hipkiss off High, his 4th duck of the season and 5th career (78th all-time) — and with it keeps a firm grip on the reigning Duck of the Year 1973 crown. Company on this day in 1906: C L Pemberton, again. - Paul Croucher closed the innings the same way, caught Hipkiss off High, his 2nd of both season and career alike (194th all-time). A card-carrying member of the Retirement Duck club from some past farewell — no danger of that just yet on this evidence. Same 1906 company as above. Wednesday 15 August — Midweek XI v West Kent Wanderers CC (h) - Paul Bowles went early, bowled Tolhurst, his 2nd of the season and 23rd career (18th all-time) — a two-time Duck of the Year alumnus (1966, 1968). On this same day in 1964, against Bowaters CC, club record-holder John Thirkell — 81 career ducks and counting — was also making the long walk back. - Brian Piper went the same way moments later, bowled Tolhurst, his 2nd of both season and career (150th all-time). His brother David Piper already carries 4 career ducks — evidently a family knack. - Trevor Back edged behind, caught Grayland off Inkpen — his very first career duck, from just 4 innings so far. Welcome to the club, Trevor. - Jon Harris rounded things off, bowled Brown, his 5th duck of the season — extending his lead in this year's chase — and 17th career (26th all-time), a Full House man with a duck recorded at every position 1 to 11, and a Debutante Duck club member from his first-ever knock long ago. His father Richard Harris carries 36 career ducks of his own. And in tidy symmetry, Trevor Back and Jon Harris's shared "Quacking Together" pairing was reprised for real this week — both back in the pavilion in the very same innings. The week in brief: 7 ducks from 2 productive fixtures, no golden ducks and no repeat offenders this time — just honest, workmanlike failure across two line-ups. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 1. Jon Harris — 5 ducks/29 inns (17.2%) 2. Colin Dicker — 4/10 (40.0%) 3. John Thirkell — 4/10 (40.0%) 4. Allan Cooper — 3/11 (27.3%) 5. Alan Cradduck — 3/16 (18.8%) Dicker and Thirkell locked together at the top of the percentages — the season race stays wide open. Next fixture, the ducks will surely be back for more. 🦆🍩

Two fixtures on the books this week, and the zero club opened for business just the once — but when it did, it did so with symmetry that not even the most imaginative correspondent could have scripted. 🏏 Midweek XI — Away to Sennocke CC, 8th August The top and the tail of the innings both found their way onto the honours board in this one, bookending a Midweek XI innings with a matching pair of noughts. Opening the batting, Brian Piper departed bowled by Roger Selleck — his first duck of the 1973 season and, more notably, his very first LPCC duck from just 4 innings so far, easing him into the exclusive zero club at 234th of 895 in the all-time reckoning. Fittingly for a debutant to these particular honours, on this very day back in 1971 the legendary John Thirkell — a man who would go on to sit top of the all-time charts with 81 ducks to his name — was also making his way back to the pavilion, against Sibton Park CC. Quite the calendar company to keep. Brian's sibling David Piper is no stranger to these pages either, with 4 career ducks of his own, so the art of not scoring may run in the blood. At the other end of the order, last man Tony Gauna fell b Ian Fordham for his second duck of the season, moving to 5 career ducks from 33 innings and 86th of 895 all time. Remarkably, the same date-in-history quirk applies to Tony as it did to Brian — 1971, Sibton Park CC, John Thirkell strolling back for nought. Two Midweek batsmen, numbers 1 and 11 on the card, both keeping company with the same great man on the same calendar day, 52 years apart. Consistency of a very particular kind. 📅 Elsewhere The second fixture of the period proved a rather more abstemious affair for the Duck Club — no additions to report, the ducks evading capture entirely. Can't win them all, or rather, can't lose them all. A quiet week in the counting house, then: 2 ducks from 2 matches, both arriving in the same innings, at opposite ends of the batting order, on the same page of the history books. The art of not scoring, alive and well. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard — Top 5 1. John Thirkell — 4 ducks from 8 innings (50%) 2. Jon Harris — 4 ducks from 26 innings (15.38%) 3. Colin Dicker — 3 ducks from 9 innings (33.33%) 4. Allan Cooper — 3 ducks from 10 innings (30%) 5. Alan Cradduck — 3 ducks from 14 innings (21.43%) John Thirkell leads the chase at a startling 50% strike rate for nought — half his innings this season have ended without troubling the scorers. The rest of the chasing pack will need to find some rather more committed failure if they're to catch him before the season's out. 🦆 Same time next fixture, ladies and gentlemen — the ducks are out there, and Linton Park will be doing its level best to find them for you. Pads on, bats up, and may fortune desert you gloriously.

Two fixtures, three ducks, and the exclusive zero club took in a couple of new deposits and one very familiar face indeed. Saturday 28th July — away at Sibton Park CC The middle order took a battering at Sibton Park, with Rawlings doing the damage twice in short order. Colin Dicker went first, caught by Tim Wren off David Rawlings at number eight, for his third duck of the season and a career tally that now stands at 4 in just 12 innings — a strike rate for nought that keeps him comfortably in the current Duck of the Year 1973 conversation. He sits 91st in the all-time list, and on this very day back in 1957, D- Jordan was also walking back for a duck, against Folkestone CC, en route to a career total of 2. Charlie Le Milliere followed him back to the pavilion next ball, bowled by the same David Rawlings at number nine. A first duck of the season and, more notably, a maiden career duck from just 6 innings — welcome to the club, Charlie, rank 251 of 895 and counting. Fittingly, he shares that same 1957 echo as Colin: on this day, D- Jordan was out in exactly this fashion, proof that Duck Club anniversaries have a habit of doubling up. Sunday 29th July — away at The Mote CC Tim Thirkell offered no resistance at The Mote, bowled by R- Read at number seven for his second duck of the season and 19th of a considerable career built over 108 innings — good enough for 23rd on the all-time list. Tim is a fully paid-up honours-board fixture: a Full House man (a duck at every position, one to eleven), and a top-ten name in both the Ducks on the Road and Homebody Duck categories, with Duck of the Year 1972 already on the mantelpiece. Rather charmingly, his own father John Thirkell — the club's all-time number one with 81 career ducks — currently sits atop this very season's leaderboard, so the art of not scoring is evidently hereditary. On this day in 1963, Gordon Fenner also made a duck, against Birkenhead Grasshoppers CC, on his way to 34 for the club. Week in summary Three ducks from two matches, all three at Sibton Park and The Mote's expense, and Rawlings can rightly claim a brace of his own from the Saturday fixture. Nothing golden among them — every departing batsman at least troubled the scorers for a ball or two before troubling nobody at all with the bat. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - John Thirkell — 7 innings, 4 ducks (57.14%) - Jon Harris — 24 innings, 4 ducks (16.67%) - Colin Dicker — 9 innings, 3 ducks (33.33%) - Allan Cooper — 10 innings, 3 ducks (30.00%) - Alan Cradduck — 13 innings, 3 ducks (23.08%) John Thirkell leads the way, but with a whole season still to play there's ample time for the field to close in. Next fixture, same invitation as ever: bat first, ask questions later. The Duck Club watches on. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A quiet week on the poultry front, Duck Club faithful — four matches played, and only one soul brave (or careless) enough to walk back for nought. Sometimes the ducks go into hiding. This week they mostly did. 🏏 1st XI — Sevenoaks Vine CC (away) Batting at first wicket down, Cliff Anscombe fell to a smart take, c Nigel Cannon b Ian Haffenden, and duly enters the log book with his 3rd duck of the 1973 campaign. Career-wise Cliff eases (if that's the word) to 24 ducks in 177 innings, holding steady at 15th of 895 in the all-time standings — rarefied company for a man who is, by any measure, still very much an active menace with the bat. Long-serving members of the club scroll will know Cliff as a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, having announced himself with a nought on his very first LPCC innings — and a former Duck of the Year, back in 1957, a vintage crop indeed. Neither honour is fresh this week, but they're worth doffing the cap to all the same. And in a fine bit of calendar symmetry: on this very day in 1956, John Abnett — of the 1954–1969 era, and a man who once reeled off four ducks in a row — also trudged off for a duck, against John Larkings' side. Abnett sits on 18 career ducks and 24th of 895 all-time. Seventeen years apart, same date, same fate. The zero club has a long memory. 📅 Week in Summary One duck from four matches is a lean return by Duck Club standards — the bowlers of Kent evidently had their minds elsewhere this week. Still, a single high-quality entry beats a dozen scrappy ones, and Cliff's contribution keeps the season ticking along nicely. Consistency of a very particular kind, as ever. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - John Thirkell — 4 ducks in 7 innings (57.14%) — the early pace-setter, and not one for hanging about at the crease - Jon Harris — 4 ducks in 23 innings (17.39%) — getting there the scenic route - Allan Cooper — 3 ducks in 10 innings (30.0%) - Cliff Anscombe — 3 ducks in 12 innings (25.0%) — this week's man himself, climbing the table under his own steam - Alan Cradduck — 3 ducks in 13 innings (23.08%) John Thirkell leads the chase for Duck of the Year with a fearsome strike rate, but there's a long season yet for the others to close the gap. 🦆 Until next time — pads on, bats loose, and here's hoping (or fearing) the next fixture brings a fuller harvest for the honours board. The zero club never sleeps for long.

A slim pickings week for the Duck Club, but quality over quantity: just the one fixture, and Folkestone CC's Peter Mannering did the honours twice over. When a bowler starts collecting members for us, he deserves a mention in dispatches. 🏏 1st XI v Folkestone CC (home) Opening the batting, Stan Wratten fell first, snapped up by Jack Evans off Mannering. It's his 1st duck of the campaign and 31st for the club in a hefty 317 innings, holding him steady at a lofty 9th in the all-time standings of 895 — rarefied air. Stan is also a paid-up member of the Quacking Together honours board alongside John Ames, though that particular shared indignity belongs to history rather than this afternoon. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1972 Fred Greenfield (1964–1973, 19 career ducks, 22nd all-time) also trudged off against Folkestone for nought — some fixtures just have a taste for it. At number 4, Paul Brattle joined the procession, bowled by the same rampant Mannering to complete his brace for the day. It's Paul's 3rd duck of the season and 8th of his career from 64 innings, sitting 59th all-time. Paul carries the Debutante Duck board — his very first senior innings, some years back now, was itself a blob, so this one is merely business as usual. A family affair too in the wider sense: relative Frank Brattle sits on 38 career ducks and Percy Brattle on 16, so the zero clearly runs in the blood. And history repeats once more — Fred Greenfield's 1972 duck against Folkestone finds a second disciple in Paul today. 📊 Week in Summary Just the two ducks from the one match, but both credited to Peter Mannering — a genuinely golden spell for Folkestone, even if not a golden duck for either victim. Stan and Paul may take some comfort in having gone down together, if not exactly gloriously. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. John Thirkell — 4 ducks in 7 innings (57.14%) 2. Jon Harris — 4 ducks in 22 innings (18.18%) 3. Allan Cooper — 3 ducks in 9 innings (33.33%) 4. Alan Cradduck — 3 ducks in 12 innings (25.00%) 5. Mike Iliffe — 3 ducks in 13 innings (23.08%) John Thirkell's rate remains the stuff of nightmares — over half his innings ending in the walk of shame. Quiet week, but the season's young yet. Roll on the next fixture — plenty of scope for the zero club to welcome new (or returning) faces. 🍩0️⃣🦆

Three matches, five ducks, and Medway Valley's M- Barker did most of the damage in one glorious afternoon of Linton wickets falling for nought. Read on. Saturday 7 July — 1st XI v Medway Valley Paul Brattle opened and departed the same way he arrived, bowled by Barker without scoring. It's his 2nd duck of the summer and 7th of a career now 63 innings long, good enough for 62nd in the all-time list — comfortably inside the exclusive zero club, and a long-standing paid-up member of the Debutante Duck honours (his very first-ever innings, long ago, was also a blob). Keeps it in the family too — kin Frank and Percy Brattle carry 38 and 16 career ducks between them, so nought clearly runs deep in that bloodline. On this very day in 1963, Stan Wratten (1943-1973, 30 ducks, 9th all-time) was doing exactly the same thing against Aylesford Paper Mills CC. Basil Sears followed, caught behind off the same Barker, for his 2nd of the season. Career duck number 33 from 409 innings puts him 8th on the all-time roll of dishonour — proper stalwart company. Same date, same history lesson: Stan Wratten, 1963, again. Benny Bell made it a hat-trick of Barker ducks, caught at number 8 for his 2nd this season and 24th of a 102-innings career, 14th all-time. Stan Wratten keeps him company too. And Jon Harris, in at 10, was bowled by Bearman for his 4th duck of the season — pulling him level at the very top of this year's Duck Hunting charts. Career duck 16 from 72 innings, 27th all-time, and a name already adorning half the honours board: a Full House for a duck at every position 1 to 11, plus entries in the Lone Duck, Homebody Duck and Tourist Duck top tens. Kin Richard Harris sits on 36 career ducks of his own — clearly a family trade. Stan Wratten, naturally, was there in 1963 too. Sunday 8 July — 1st XI v Aylesford Paper Mills CC Cliff Anscombe departed caught at 3, his 2nd duck of the season and 23rd of the career, 176 innings in, 16th all-time — a past Duck of the Year (1957) still adding to the pile. On this same date in 1950, John --'s Taylor (1949-1960, 15 ducks, 30th all-time) made a duck against Hayle Place CC. Week in Summary Five ducks from three fixtures, four of them served up by one bowler in one spell — Barker's treble against the top order did more damage to Linton's card than the scoreboard let on. A quiet week elsewhere, but the zero club never sleeps. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - John Thirkell — 4 ducks in 7 innings (57.14%) - Jon Harris — 4 ducks in 22 innings (18.18%) - Allan Cooper — 3 ducks in 9 innings (33.33%) - Alan Cradduck — 3 ducks in 11 innings (27.27%) - Mike Iliffe — 3 ducks in 12 innings (25.0%) Thirkell leads on strike rate, but Harris matches him blow for blow — the title race for 1973 is very much alive. 🦆 Same time next week, same dubious honour up for grabs. Bring your bats, gentlemen — or don't bother.

Eight ducks paddled across four fixtures this week, headlined by a genuine top-order pile-up down at Tilling Steven. The exclusive zero club has been busy. 🏏 Saturday 30 June — 1st XI v Tilling Steven (home) A grim day for the top of the order. Paul Brattle opened and fell early, caught B-Woodcock bowled G-Shepherd, for his 1st duck of the summer and 6th of a career now sitting at rank 73 of 893 — a fully paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, his very first Linton innings years back also having brought nought. Kin Frank and Percy Brattle carry 38 and 16 career ducks between them, so it's clearly in the blood. At first drop, Gordon Dent recorded the very first duck of his career after 10 innings of near escapes — welcome to the club, Gordon, rank 293 of 893. Mike Iliffe (b B-Seager) chalked up his 3rd of the season and 25th overall, a lofty rank 13 of 893 among the club's true greats of the genre. And at 7, Jon Harris went c & b B-Seager for his 3rd of the season and 15th career duck (rank 30) — a man who has now ducked at every single position 1 through 11, the coveted Full House, and props up the Ducks on the Road, Homebody and Lone Duck top tens besides. Genuine ubiquity in failure. Four down for nought in one innings — and fittingly, on this very day back in 1956, R-Robinson also strolled back for a duck against St Lukes Maidstone CC. Some things never change. 🏏 Sunday 1 July — 1st XI v Sevenoaks Vine CC (home) Dick Langridge (b T Smith) notched his 2nd of the season and 23rd of a long career, rank 16 of 893 — kin Barry Langridge already carries 6 of his own, a proper family tradition. Colin Dicker (c Ian Haffenden b P-Russell) made it 2 for the season and 3 for his career, and for the record already holds the honours board plaque for Duck of the Year 1973 — so this campaign may well belong to him yet. Both keep company with Len Conway, who made his own duck against Tilling Steven on this same date back in 1962. 🌱 Wednesday 4 July — Midweek XI v Northend Sunday (home) Cliff Anscombe (st B Fairall b B-Hinks) recorded his 1st duck of the season and 22nd of his career, rank 18 of 893 — a Debutante Duck alumnus and former Duck of the Year back in 1957, proving the old guard haven't lost the knack. On this day in 1904, Arthur Cornwallis suffered identically against Sutton Valence School. 🏏 Thursday 5 July — 1st XI v Hollingbourne CC (away) Allan Cooper, stumped off Dave Hales, brought up his 3rd duck of the season and 5th overall (rank 76) — a serial "Only Two Quacks" member three times over, alongside Jim Hall, Trevor Back, and this week's fellow victim Jon Harris. Back in 1943, Herbert Sunley made his own duck against Mr Ashby's XI on this very date. 📊 Week in summary: 8 ducks, 4 matches, and one spectacular top-order collapse at Tilling Steven. The art of not scoring remains alive and well at Linton Park. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - John Thirkell — 4 ducks in 7 innings (57.1%) - Alan Cradduck — 3 in 9 (33.3%) - Allan Cooper — 3 in 9 (33.3%) - Mike Iliffe — 3 in 11 (27.3%) - Jon Harris — 3 in 20 (15.0%) John Thirkell sets the season pace — fitting, given he's also the club's all-time number one quacker with 81 to his name. Can anyone catch him before the season's out? Same time next week, ducks — the crease awaits. 🍩0️⃣🏏

A vintage weekend for the exclusive zero club, with the 1st XI supplying all six of this week's inductees across home fixtures against Hythe CC and Dimanchians CC. Consistency of a very particular kind, on both days. Saturday 23rd — v Hythe CC (h) - Basil Sears opened and departed almost as quickly, caught and bowled by Jon Smith. His 1st duck of the season lifts him to 32 career ducks — 8th on the all-time list from 408 innings, rarefied company. Neatly, on this very day in 1968 it was fellow duck-collector Mike Iliffe who made a duck against Hartley Country Club CC — and five years on the pair are on the same scorecard's honours list together again. - Mike Iliffe, caught A Fagg bowled Buckingham, banks his 2nd of the season and 24th career duck, 13th all-time from 159 innings. On this day in 1968, Gordon Fenner suffered the identical fate against Hartley Country Club CC, on his way to 34. - Paul Croucher joined the queue, caught Andrew Williams bowled Jon Smith, for his 1st duck of the season and, remarkably, his 1st career duck in just 6 innings — 356th all-time. A paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell, though today's was a plain ordinary nought, nothing more dramatic. He shares Iliffe's 1968 echo against Hartley Country Club CC too. Sunday 24th — v Dimanchians CC (h) - Paul Bowles, caught R Burbury bowled Pete Best, notches his 1st of the season and 22nd career duck — 18th all-time from 188 innings. A two-time Duck of the Year (1966, 1968) and a Ducks on the Road top-tenner, Bowles knows this ground better than most would like. On this day in 1950, Arthur Cradduck made a duck against Tovil on his way to 8. - Allan Cooper fell the identical way, caught R Burbury bowled Pete Best, for his 2nd of the season and 4th career duck, 87th all-time from 41 innings. A serial pair-maker on the honours board — Only Two Quacks alongside three separate club-mates — his collection just keeps growing. He shares Cradduck's 1950 echo too. - Colin Dicker, lbw to E Payne, records his 1st of the season, moving to 2 career ducks from just 9 innings, 154th all-time. Fittingly, Dicker already holds Duck of the Year 1973 — this very season — so the reigning champion has simply topped up the tally that earned him the crown. Cradduck's 1950 Tovil duck rounds off his parallel too. Week in summary Six ducks from two matches, both 1st XI, both at home — Hythe and Dimanchians proving happy hunting grounds for entirely the wrong reasons. No pairs and no family affairs this week, just a top-to-bottom collapse of form on successive days. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏆 1. John Thirkell — 4 ducks in 6 innings (66.67%) 2. Alan Cradduck — 3 ducks in 8 innings (37.5%) 3. Ron Hickman — 2 ducks in 3 innings (66.67%) 4. Brian Fuller — 2 ducks in 6 innings (33.33%) 5. Allan Cooper — 2 ducks in 7 innings (28.57%) Thirkell sets the pace, but the season's young and there's every duck still to play for. Next fixture beckons — pads on, gloves ready, and the exclusive zero club stands open to new members. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A quiet weekend for the exclusive zero club — just two additions to report, both arriving in the same fixture. Quality over quantity, as the connoisseurs of nought like to say. 🏏 1st XI — away at Bobbing Court CC The top order held firm, but the tail told a familiar story. In at 9, Alan Cradduck was trapped lbw by Gordon Kemsley for his 3rd duck of the season and 14th of an admirable career — 49 innings deep, and good enough for 30th on the all-time list of 888. Alan is a long-serving Debutante Duck (his very first innings back in the day went the same way) and a proud member of the Ducks in a Row club, having once reeled off five in a row like a man with a system. His usual Quacking Together partner Ron Hickman is lurking third in this very season's leaderboard, so the pair remain in fine synchronised form. On this exact day in 1939, X Rayner also departed for nought against Castle Hill CC, Kent — 1939 to 1963 was quite the innings for Rayner, two career ducks and an eventual Retirement Duck to his name. Two down at the other end of the order, last man Tony Gauna holed out c Damien Hudson b Roger Mills without scoring, his 1st duck of the season and 4th of his career from 27 innings — 103rd all-time. No honours board entries yet for Tony, but the numbers are climbing steadily. Fittingly, he shares his moment in history with Alan — on this very day in 1939, X Rayner was also falling to Castle Hill CC, Kent, on the way to a career that would end, as all the best ones do, in a Retirement Duck. A tidy little tail-end double at Bobbing Court, then — numbers 9 and 11 both walking back for nought in the same innings, proof that misery, much like the ball, does occasionally find company. 📊 Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks, both from the same fixture and the same beleaguered end of the batting order. No pairs, no king pairs, no family affairs this week — the ducks kept it simple. Whether that's restraint or merely a quiet patch, time and next weekend will tell. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. John Thirkell — 6 inns, 4 ducks, 66.67% 2. Alan Cradduck — 7 inns, 3 ducks, 42.86% 3. Ron Hickman — 3 inns, 2 ducks, 66.67% 4. Brian Fuller — 5 inns, 2 ducks, 40.0% 5. Terry Donovan — 7 inns, 2 ducks, 28.57% John Thirkell sits pretty at the top with a fearsome 66.67% strike rate for nought — closely shadowed by Ron Hickman on identical percentage terms from fewer chances. The chasing pack will need to pull their socks up, or rather, keep them resolutely down. 🦆 Next fixture awaits, and with it, fresh opportunity for the art of not scoring. The zero club never closes its books — see you all next weekend.

A tidy little harvest this week: two fixtures, three ducks, and every last one of them credited to the 1st XI. Modest in number, rich in pedigree — the art of not scoring is alive and well at Linton Park. Saturday 9th June — v Rumwood CC Mike Iliffe opened the weekend's account at number six, caught Don Clayton off S. Simmonds, departing without so much as a murmur from the scorebook. It's his first duck of the 1973 season and his 23rd in a career spanning 157 innings, good enough for 15th on the all-time list of 888 names — a place of dubious distinction, and one Mike now occupies rather comfortably. On this very day back in 1963, a young Ron Hickman was going through the same ritual against Gore Court CC, one of the 21 career ducks that carried him to 21st on the all-time honours board. History, it seems, enjoys an anniversary. Sunday 10th June — v Sheldwich CC Sheldwich's Jonathan Stanford evidently took a shine to Linton's lower order, helping himself to a brace for the Duck Club in the same innings. Jim Hall went first, caught J. Holt at number seven — his own first duck of the season and the 10th of an already storied career from 63 innings, moving him to 43rd all-time. Jim remains one of the club's great collectors, his honours cabinet groaning under the Lone Duck top 10, the Tourist Duck top 10, the Homebody Duck top 10, a Full House nearly-man credential and no fewer than three separate Quacking Together memberships, all resting atop a Debutante Duck pedigree from a long-ago first innings and a Duck of the Year title back in 1970. Two wickets later Alan Cradduck followed him through the gate, caught Brian Newman off the same rampant Stanford, for his second duck of the season and 13th of his career, edging him to 33rd on the all-time list. Alan brings his own Debutante Duck credentials plus a place in the select Ducks in a Row club for five on the spin, and holds a Quacking Together honour with none other than Ron Hickman — the very name Mike Iliffe was echoing from 1963 earlier in this report. Small club, the zero club. Fittingly, both Jim and Alan can trace a shared footstep back to this same date in 1961, when Robert Wood was doing exactly likewise against Tovil — one of 21 career ducks that carried him to 20th on the all-time list, and, like Jim, a fellow Debutante Duck alumnus. Week in summary Three ducks, two matches, one very satisfied Sheldwich bowler. The 1st XI cornered the market entirely this week — the 2nd, 3rd and 4th XIs will presumably want a word about pulling their weight. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - John Thirkell — 4 ducks in 6 innings (66.67%) - Ron Hickman — 2 ducks in 3 innings (66.67%) - Brian Fuller — 2 ducks in 4 innings (50.00%) - Alan Cradduck — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40.00%) - Terry Donovan — 2 ducks in 6 innings (33.33%) Next fixture awaits, and with it the inevitable next round of nominations for the exclusive zero club. See you there, bat raised in solidarity. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A vintage weekend for the exclusive zero club, headlined by a feat rarely seen on any honours board anywhere: an entire family walking back for nought in the same innings. Three matches, seven ducks, and the Thirkell name etched into Duck Club lore in triplicate. 🏏 Sunday 3rd — NVKC v Crockham Hill CC (home) Brace yourselves. John, Nigel and Tim Thirkell all fell without scoring in this one innings — a bona fide Family of Ducks, the rarest ceremony the club offers, and proof the dedication to the art of not scoring runs in the blood. John Thirkell, lbw to W Tucker for his 4th duck of the season, extends his utterly untouchable lead at the very top of the all-time standings — rank 1 of 888, now on 81 career ducks from 714 innings. On this day in 1967, Alan Cridland also departed for nought, against Tovil Nomads CC. Son Nigel followed, caught Fordham bowled Tucker, his 1st of the season and 8th career (57th all-time) — a Tourist Duck top-10 man finding home comforts no kinder. Tim completed the set, bowled Tucker, his 1st of the season and 18th career (25th all-time) — a paid-up member of the Full House club, having now ducked in every position from 1 to 11 across his career. All three share the same parallel: on this day in 1967, Alan Cridland was also dismissed for nought, against Tovil Nomads CC. Ron Hickman also perished, caught Cantlay bowled Fordham, his 1st of the season and 20th career (21st all-time) — but the story wasn't over yet. 🏏 Monday 4th — 1st XI away v Primrose & Len CC Alan Cradduck fell to S Beautrige, his 1st duck of the season and 12th career, sitting 34th of 888 all-time — a Debutante Duck club member of old, and one of only five to have strung five ducks together in a row. On this day in 1967, Stan Wratten was also dismissed without scoring, against Hythe CC. And there was Ron Hickman again, bowled P Hoare, completing a thoroughly grim weekend pair — Crockham Hill on Sunday, Primrose & Len on Monday, no runs in between. His 2nd duck of the season takes him to 21 career (still 21st all-time), and shares "Quacking Together" honours with Cradduck for the shared carnage in this very innings. 🌱 Tuesday 5th — Midweek XI v Newport Fugitives (home) Terry Donovan closed out the week, bowled B Hoppe for his 2nd duck of the season and 16th career, 28th of 888 all-time — a long-serving Full House nearly-man, stuck on 10 of 11 positions. On this day in 1965, Brian Relf also made a duck, against Tovil and Bridge. 📊 Week in Summary Seven ducks from three matches, and a family treble that will take some beating. The Thirkells lead by generation, Ron Hickman leads by sheer persistence, and the season race is heating up nicely. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. John Thirkell — 4 ducks / 6 innings (66.7%) 2. Brian Fuller — 2 ducks / 3 innings (66.7%) 3. Ron Hickman — 2 ducks / 3 innings (66.7%) 4. Terry Donovan — 2 ducks / 5 innings (40.0%) 5. Jon Harris — 2 ducks / 11 innings (18.2%) 🍩 Next fixture awaits, and the zero club never sleeps. Get out there, middle it or don't — either way, we'll be watching. 0️⃣🦆

Three matches, seven ducks, and two bowlers who fancied themselves purveyors of the golden nought — the exclusive zero club had a busy long weekend. Saturday 26 May — Maidstone YMCA CC (h) Dave Goodyer did most of the damage. Gordon Fenner (b Goodyer) fell for his 1st duck of the season and 34th of his career, 7th on the all-time list — a family trade, with brothers Joe (5) and Maurice (1) also card-carrying members. On this day in 1957, Cliff Anscombe made the identical trip against Ron Aiston's XI. Benny Bell followed him out (b Goodyer), his 1st of the season and 23rd career duck, 14th all-time — keeping Anscombe's 1957 ghost company for a second dismissal that afternoon. Terry Donovan (c Goodyer b Gunn) brought up season duck 1 and career duck 15, a Duck of the Year alumnus from 1964, and cruelly still one position shy of completing his Full House having now gone at number 10. Anscombe, 1957, sends his regards again. At 11, Brian Fuller (c & b Goodyer) recorded his 2nd of the season and 8th career duck, 52nd all-time — Goodyer's third scalp of the innings. Anscombe makes it four for four. Monday 28 May — Bearsted CC (h) Dave Bromley then took his turn, removing three in a row. John Thirkell — the club's reigning monarch of the nought on 80 career ducks, 1st of all time — fell for his 3rd of the season, adding to a reign already boasting five Duck of the Year titles (1952, '54, '55, '67, '71) and top-ten places in Lone, Homebody and Ducks on the Road. A family trade too: son Tim carries 17 career ducks, and Nigel 7. On this day in 1928, Bert Buckoke also fell to Bearsted. Jon Harris (b Bromley) followed, his 2nd of the season and 14th career duck, 32nd all-time, boards reading like a testimonial dinner — Debutante Duck, Full House at every position, Tourist and Homebody top tens, Quacking Together with both Jim Hall and Trevor Back. Father Richard carries 36 career ducks of his own. Buckoke, 1928, tips his cap again. Dick Langridge completed the rout (b Bromley), his 1st of the season and 22nd career duck, 16th all-time — son Barry good for 6 of his own. Buckoke, still 1928, still watching. Week in summary Seven ducks, three matches, two bowlers doing the lot between them — Goodyer four, Bromley three. No pairs, no golden ducks, no family doubles, just honest collapse from the lower middle order. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - John Thirkell — 4 innings, 3 ducks, 75% - Brian Fuller — 3 innings, 2 ducks, 66.67% - Jon Harris — 8 innings, 2 ducks, 25% - David Stevens — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Gordon Fenner — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% Thirkell leads by a distance, but the season is young. Next fixture awaits — the art of not scoring continues. 🏏🍩0️⃣

A quiet weekend by Duck Club standards — two fixtures, one nought — but when the club's own top-ranked ambassador of ignominy is the one supplying it, one is plenty. 🌱 Sunday — NVKC v Addington Village CC John Thirkell, LPCC's undisputed record holder — sitting 1st of 884 in the all-time standings — walked in at number two and departed bowled by J Dicker without troubling the scorers. It's his 2nd duck of the current season and his 79th in a career now spanning 711 innings, a rate of consistency the rest of the club can only stand back and admire. Five-time Duck of the Year (1952, 1954, 1955, 1967 and 1971), a fixture of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, and a dual member of the Quacking Together honours alongside both Bob Arnold and William Buck — John's name on the board is less an entry than a permanent fixture. The name runs deep in these parts too: sons Tim (17 career ducks) and Nigel (7) are both paid-up members of the club in their own right, so quite how anyone gets a ball past this family remains one of Linton's enduring mysteries. And in a pleasing quirk of the calendar — on this very day in 1969, Mike Iliffe (1966–1973, 22 ducks, 16th all-time) also made a duck, against West Farleigh CC. The duck, it seems, always knows what day it is. 📊 Weekend in Brief Just the one duck from two matches this weekend — a modest harvest, though quality has never troubled John Thirkell where quantity is concerned. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard — Top 5 1. John Thirkell — 3 innings, 2 ducks (67%) 2. David Stevens — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 3. Brian Fuller — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) 4. Allan Cooper — 3 innings, 1 duck (33%) 5. Ken Webb — 3 innings, 1 duck (33%) David Stevens leads on a flawless percentage so far, but with John Thirkell setting the pace on volume, the race for Duck of the Year 1973 is only just getting started. 🍩 Same time next weekend, then — bats at the ready, ducks at large. See you out there. 🦆

Three matches, four ducks, and one appearance from bona fide cricketing royalty. The 1973 season continues to deliver handsomely for connoisseurs of the naught. 🏏 Saturday 12th — 1st XI away at Rumwood CC Brian Fuller, walking to the crease at number 11 with little left to lose, was undone by S- Simmonds and departed for his 1st duck of the season. It's his 7th for the club from 29 innings, putting him 59th of 884 in the all-time table. On this very day back in 1906, D H Luck was doing precisely the same thing against Town Malling CC — some traditions refuse to die. 🦆 Sunday 13th — NVKC at home to Harvel CC Hold the front page. John Thirkell, caught by Hanks off J- Howe, has added to what is already an unassailable all-time collection — his 78th career duck from 710 innings, still comfortably 1st of 884 in the club's ignominious history books. Five-time Duck of the Year (1952, '54, '55, '67 and '71), permanent resident of the Lone Duck and Homebody Duck top tens, and a man who has turned ducking-together into an art form alongside both Bob Arnold and William Buck. This is only his 1st of the current season — the King rests, briefly, before no doubt reigning again. A chip off the old block runs in the family too, with sons Tim (17 career ducks) and Nigel (7) carrying the tradition forward. On this day in 1961, William Agate — on debut, no less — was enjoying his own small taste of the same fate against Charles Arkcoll. 🏏 Monday 14th — 1st XI at home to Boughton Malherbe CC A costly middle-order collapse of the scoring variety. Ken Webb, caught and bowled by X Pryce at number 2, picked up his 1st career duck, from just 2 innings so far — early days, but the sample size is not encouraging — now 331st on the all-time list. Moments later Allan Cooper followed, stumped off X Morley for his own 1st duck of the season and 3rd career duck in 36 innings, good enough for 109th all time and a proud paid-up member of the Only Two Quacks club alongside Jim Hall, Jon Harris and Trevor Back. Both, fittingly, share a page with Eddie Lawrence, who ducked on this very day in 1961 against Halfway House. 📊 Week in Summary Four ducks in three matches — a tidy weekend's harvest, headlined by the continuing dominance of the club's undisputed champion of failure. No pairs, no king pairs, no family affairs this week — everyone had the decency to embarrass themselves only once. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. David Stevens — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 2. Allan Cooper — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) 3. Brian Fuller — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) 4. John Thirkell — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) 5. Ken Webb — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) A five-way scrap at the top with the season still young. Next match, next opportunity — the Duck Club awaits its newest recruits, or its old favourites doing what they do best. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A trip to West Farleigh CC was all it took. One match, two ducks, and Roger Gedney doing the damage with both hands — the exclusive zero club welcomes two new subscriptions this week. 1st XI (away) v West Farleigh CC In at six, Jon Harris departed lbw to Roger Gedney for his 1st duck of the young 1973 season and his 13th in senior colours — 51 innings deep and now sitting 33rd of 881 in the all-time reckoning. Jon arrives with credentials most duckers only dream of: a fully paid-up Full House man (a duck at every position, one to eleven — a feat of thoroughness), regular resident of the Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top tens, no stranger to home comforts either courtesy of a Homebody Duck placing, and co-owner of not one but two Quacking Together entries, alongside Jim Hall and Trevor Back, plus an Only Two Quacks partnership with Allan Cooper. A veritable committee man of failure. Fittingly, on this very calendar day back in 1956, R Vincent also trudged off for a duck against these same West Farleigh opponents — some fixtures simply demand tribute. Worth noting too that Jon isn't the only Harris on the books, with Richard Harris quietly amassing 36 career ducks of his own — clearly a family trait, if not one anyone's boasting about at Sunday lunch. Two down at eight, David Stevens was bowled by Gedney for his 1st duck of the season and 2nd of an admittedly brief senior career, six innings in, ranking 156th of 881. David does carry one standing honour on the boards — a place among the Retirement Duck fraternity, marking some past farewell rather than anything happening today, so no need to read into it. And, remarkably, he shares today's echo with Jon: 1956 really was a vintage year for West Farleigh capitulations, with R Vincent's duck landing on this exact date too. Week in Summary One match, two ducks, one common wicket-taker — Roger Gedney can consider his afternoon's work well spent. Early season, low volume, but the Duck Club never sleeps, even in April. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🥇 1. David Stevens — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% 2. Jon Harris — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% A leaderboard built entirely on perfect attendance so far — plenty of season left for the rest of the club to gatecrash it. Fixtures continue, and with them the inevitable additions. Bring your ducks, leave your dignity — see you next weekend. 🦆🏏0️⃣