🦆 The Duck Pond

A day at the wicket against Boxley CC that will be remembered less for runs scored than for runs conspicuously absent. Five of our men returned to the pavilion without troubling the scorer, and the Club's exclusive zero club welcomes its latest — and, in one case, repeat — subscribers. 1st XI W H Fryer, going in at first wicket down, was undone by C Chambers for a cipher — his second duck of the season and the sixth of a distinguished career now spanning four-and-twenty innings, second only on the all-time roll of dishonour. He arrives level with A Startup on six career ducks apiece, a meeting of kindred spirits neither gentleman is likely to toast. Speaking of Mr Startup, his afternoon deserves a paragraph of its own. Bowled by F Atkins for his first duck of the day — the season's first, the career's sixth — he had barely regained the pavilion steps before being sent out again and bowled once more, by F B Hallatt this time, for his second of the match and seventh of his career. A pair, gentlemen, and a chastening one, though we are assured the willow itself bears no blame. Mr Startup may console himself with the season already named in his honour not once but thrice — 1868, 1870 and now 1882 — and a run of five ducks in a row that stands as a monument to consistency of a very particular kind. A R Simpson fell to F B Hallatt for his maiden career duck, a modest debut in the art of not scoring that places him twenty-fifth on the club's roll — good company, for he joins a positively crowded field of gentlemen similarly becalmed on a single nought apiece. J Gurney completed the afternoon's misery, caught by A G Mannering off H Foster's bowling for his first career duck in eight innings, drawing level with Mr Simpson on that same solitary figure — two men, one shared distinction, acquired within minutes of each other. In Summary One match, five ducks, and Mr Startup's pair the undoubted feature of the day — a gentleman who went out to bat twice and returned twice without so much as troubling the umpire's patience. Boxley CC's bowlers, it must be said, appear to have found something in the conditions that suited them handsomely. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - A Startup — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100.00% - A Tapsfield — 3 innings, 2 ducks, 66.67% - W Wilson — 6 innings, 2 ducks, 33.33% - F Foster — 8 innings, 2 ducks, 25.00% - W H Fryer — 8 innings, 2 ducks, 25.00% The Club extends its compliments to all five contributors and looks forward, with an entirely proper sense of anticipation, to whatever further additions the next fixture may bring to this most select of registers.

A Chronicle of the Willow's Misfortunes — the week of the 5th of July, 1882 1st XI — v Collier Street CC (at home, first innings) - W Wilson, promoted to number six, was undone by the bowling of F Laurence and returned to the pavilion without addition to the total — a second duck's egg for him this season, and the third of a career that now numbers fourteen innings at the wicket, placing him thirteenth upon the club's roll of one hundred and twelve. In this particular species of consistency he draws level with A Tapsfield, who across five innings in the seasons of 1881 and 1882 arrived at the selfsame tally of three. - G C Froud, sent in at nine, fell likewise to Mr Laurence, failing to trouble the scorer at all — his maiden duck of the present season, and but the first blemish upon a career of seven innings, thirtieth of the hundred and twelve so distinguished. He finds fellowship in this modest achievement with C Gibbs, who over two innings in the same two seasons also settled upon a single duck. The week in brief: one match, two ciphers, and both laid by the same hand — Mr F Laurence evidently found something to his liking in our middle and lower order. A tidy afternoon's work for the visitors, and a sobering one for the timbers of numbers six and nine. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard — 1882 1. A Tapsfield — 2 ducks in 3 innings (66.67 per cent) 2. W Wilson — 2 ducks in 4 innings (50.0 per cent) 3. F Foster — 2 ducks in 6 innings (33.33 per cent) 4. C Gibbs — 1 duck in 2 innings (50.0 per cent) 5. E J Rook — 1 duck in 2 innings (50.0 per cent) The scorebook remains open, and the club has every confidence that further candidates for the exclusive zero shall present themselves at the earliest fixture. Members are cordially invited to attend, willow in hand, and try their luck against the timbers.

Our correspondent is pleased to report that the exclusive zero club has again opened its doors, three names being added to the roll upon the occasion of the fixture against Marden CC, of Kent, played upon our own ground. 1st XI - J Sedgwick, going in last man, was bowled by F Tipping without addition to the total — a first duck of the season for him, and his fourth in a career of but six innings, which places him sixth of the 110 gentlemen inscribed upon the club's roll of dubious distinction. He is, moreover, no stranger to ignominy, having already been named Duck of the Year for 1881. He now stands level with C Amies, who occupies precisely the same tally of four and turned out for the club between 1867 and 1870 — a fine piece of company to keep, of a sort. - F Danells, at number six, fell to the bowling of C Martin, similarly without troubling the scorer. This his first duck of the present season and the third of a career now standing at twelve innings, ninth of 110 upon the all-time list. He draws level in this respect with A Tapsfield, presently on the identical figure of three, from a briefer career of 1881 to the present. - X Caselton, at number ten, was likewise dismissed by F Tipping — that bowler thus accounting for two of the three victims of the afternoon. This being his first appearance for the club's colours, his name is entered afresh upon the register, a maiden failure and, we trust, not the pattern of things to come. He joins C Gibbs, another gentleman of a single career duck, presently of the seasons 1881 and 1882. The Week in Summary A single fixture, three ducks, and F Tipping doing rather more than his fair share of the damage. The eleven may reflect that the art of not scoring was practised with some diligence this Saturday, though we are assured no malice was intended by either bowler. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. A Tapsfield — 3 innings, 2 ducks, 66.67 per cent 2. F Foster — 6 innings, 2 ducks, 33.33 per cent 3. C Gibbs — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50.0 per cent 4. E J Rook — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50.0 per cent 5. J Sedgwick — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50.0 per cent The club awaits the next fixture with its customary mixture of hope and resignation, confident that the roll of honour shall not long remain unaltered. Members are cordially invited to attend and, should the willow fail them, to accept their place upon it with good grace.

Our correspondent is pleased to report a most fruitful afternoon in the field against Boxley CC, in which no fewer than seven of our men found their way back to the pavilion without so much as troubling the scorer. A season of some promise, it must be said, for the art of not scoring. 1st XI C Gibbs, sent in at first wicket down, was bowled by K McAlpine for a cipher — his maiden duck of the season, and the first blot upon a card that had stood at a modest one from three innings. He now draws level with E J Rook on a career tally of one duck apiece. W Wilson followed at number nine, likewise bowled by McAlpine, and enters his second duck of the campaign — his career total now standing at two from thirteen innings, a figure shared with the venerable C French Snr, Duck of the Year in 1864. J Mallard, at number ten, was run out for nought, his third career duck from a mere seven innings — a rate that places him ninth of the 106 gentlemen who have ever graced this dubious register, level on tally with A Tapsfield. Speaking of whom — A Tapsfield, last man in, was himself run out without scoring, his second duck of this very afternoon's proceedings and his third of the career, seventh on the all-time roll. A curious business, two run-outs in close company, though the record does not suggest collusion. F Foster, at number four, was bowled by E Hickmott for nought — his second duck of the season and of the career alike, from a young career of only four innings, keeping company with C French Snr on a tally of two. Jack Fryer, number six, fell in the same manner to Hickmott, his second career duck from ten innings, level with C French Snr once again — that gentleman keeps distinguished company this week. And E J Rook, batting at seven, was bowled by Hickmott for a nought on what our records show to be his very first innings for the club — a debutante's duck, no less, and about as warm a welcome to first-class ignominy as the game allows. He joins C Gibbs on the season's ledger at one apiece. A Week in Summary A single fixture, seven ducks — a rate of failure our correspondent ventures Boxley CC's bowlers, Messrs McAlpine and Hickmott between them, will recall with some satisfaction. The lower order bore the brunt of it, numbers four through eleven contributing the full complement, which may say something of our batting order or nothing at all. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. A Tapsfield — 3 innings, 2 ducks, 66.67 per cent 2. F Foster — 4 innings, 2 ducks, 50.00 per cent 3. C Gibbs — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50.00 per cent 4. E J Rook — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50.00 per cent 5. Ernest Cruttenden — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50.00 per cent The Club extends its compliments to all seven contributors and looks forward, with some confidence, to further additions at the next fixture. Members are reminded that the willow shows no favour, and the timbers care nothing for reputation.

A single fixture only this week, away to Collier Street CC, yet the first innings there contrived to return no fewer than five of our men to the pavilion with a duck's egg against their names. A meagre harvest of runs, but a bountiful one for the Club's own particular ledger. 1st XI — away to Collier Street CC - Ernest Cruttenden opened proceedings and closed them almost as swiftly, bowled by C Martin without troubling the scorer. His first duck of the season, and the second of a career now numbering eleven innings, placing him fourteenth of the hundred and three gentlemen who have achieved the distinction. He finds a kindred spirit in A Tapsfield, who sits upon the self-same tally of two. - G Sedgwick followed at the second wicket, bowled by W Hodges, recording his first duck of the season and third of his career in seven innings, a standing of seventh in the club's roll. One J Sedgwick, of an earlier season, was similarly troubled on three occasions and carried off the Duck of the Year honour in 1881, though whether the name denotes any kinship the Gazette does not presume to say. - F Foster, at three, offered his wicket to a smart catch by F Savage off the bowling of W Hodges, his very first innings under the Club's colours thus beginning, most memorably, with nought. A debut duck secures him twenty-fourth place of the hundred and three, level with the long-retired E M Owens, who managed but the one duck in six innings between 1869 and 1875. - W H Fryer, at four, was adjudged leg before to C Martin without score, his fifth career duck in eighteen innings, and a most exalted third of the whole club. He draws level with none other than A Startup, a three-time Duck of the Year and holder of the club's mark for five ducks in a row, whose own tally of five stands near the very summit of the art of not scoring. - A Tapsfield, last man in at eleven, was bowled by C Martin to complete the innings' collection, his first duck of the season and second of his career in but four innings, a lofty tenth of the hundred and three. He keeps close company, as noted above, with Mr Cruttenden on identical figures. Three of the five fell to the bowling of C Martin, who may fairly claim to have done Collier Street's work for them single-handed, with W Hodges accounting for the remaining two. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard The season being yet young, the following gentlemen lead the field, each with a single duck from two innings and so, for the present, a discomfiting fifty per cent: - A Tapsfield — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% - Ernest Cruttenden — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% - F Foster — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% - G Sedgwick — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% - W H Fryer — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% The Club looks forward, as ever, to its next fixture, confident that further candidates will present themselves for enrolment in this exclusive and ignominious company.