🦆 The Duck Pond

Ten ducks in two days to close out the season in style — the exclusive zero club has had a busy weekend, headlined by a genuine middle-order stampede at Lordswood. Details below. Saturday — 1st XI v Lordswood CC A proper procession. Ian Webb went first, caught off Kevin Masters for his 2nd career duck (8 innings, 188th all-time), drawing level with A Mitchell (1964-65) — and a fitting nod to kin Ken Webb, who carries 3 of his own. Then the honours board reunion arrived in full: Tim Thirkell (3rd this season, 36th career, 7th all-time) fell to join Richard Harris (1940-70) on the same tally — no small feat for a Full House member with a duck at every position and kin stretching from John Thirkell's mighty 90 down to Stuart's solitary 1. Brian Woodcock followed for his 2nd of the season and 3rd overall, level with 1893's A Kent. And then, magnificently, Jim Hall and Martin Mears both departed in the same innings as Tim — all three sharing "Quacking Together" honours with one another, so this was less a collapse than a scheduled get-together. Jim Hall's was his staggering 11th duck of the season (34th career, 10th all-time) and keeps him on course to defend his Duck of the Year 1977 crown. Martin Mears made it 9 career ducks, level with B Westover (1940-45) — small mercy, he'd be back for more the very next day. Sunday — Married v Linton Park CC Colin Dicker fell early for his 1st duck of the season, 23rd career, a two-time Duck of the Year alumnus (1973, 1975) making a fresh case for a third. Martin Mears returned to complete a grim pair — his 6th of the season, 10th career, level with Andrew Moss (1968-77), having failed to trouble the scorer in successive fixtures. Keith Miller made it 4 ducks in just 7 innings, a fearsome 57% strike rate, level with Brian Mills (1959-60). Sunday — Singles v Linton Park CC William Buck, 29 career ducks from a marathon 328 innings, drew level with Ron Hickman (1963-77) — proof that longevity and the zero club are not mutually exclusive. Allan Cooper edged past for his 2nd of the season, caught by none other than the previous day's victim Ian Webb, and moves to 16 career, level with Percy Brattle (1934-73). Week in summary 10 ducks, 2 matches, one genuinely historic innings at Lordswood where three Quacking Together club-mates fell together. Martin Mears's weekend pair the individual highlight — two matches, no runs, full commitment. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Jim Hall — 39 inns, 11 ducks (28%) 2. Martin Mears — 17 inns, 6 ducks (35%) 3. Keith Miller — 7 inns, 4 ducks (57%) 4. Paul Brattle — 43 inns, 4 ducks (9%) 5. Trevor Back — 16 inns, 3 ducks (19%) Jim Hall holds a healthy lead in the race for Duck of the Year 1977 — but with Martin Mears breathing down his neck at 35%, the title is far from safe. Next fixture beckons. The zero club never rests — see you at the crease. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A quiet week for the executioner's blade, but what it lacked in volume it made up for in company kept — two ducks, one hungry attack, and a rare shared credit on the honours board. 🏏 Saturday 24th — 1st XI v West Farleigh CC (home) The only fixture to trouble the scorers this week, and trouble them it did. Batting at seven, Jim Hall was bowled by Norman Underdown for his 10th duck of the summer — a landmark that ties neatly into his Duck of the Year 1977 credentials, matching the crown he first lifted back in 1970. That's 33 career ducks now, good enough for 12th on the all-time list out of 942 names, level company with Basil Sears (1947–1975) and Stan Wratten (1943–1976), both also parked on exactly 33. Jim remains a Full House nearly-man too, with ducks now spread across ten of the eleven possible batting positions — one berth still to conquer for the complete set. Long since a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from his own first-ever knock, he shows no sign of slowing his collecting in year 1977 either. Three wickets later, at number ten, Martin Mears joined him in the pavilion, bowled by Trevor Back for his 4th duck of the season and 8th of his career — 63rd on the all-time table from 48 innings. Fittingly, the pair already share a "Quacking Together" entry on the honours board, and this week they've earned it properly — falling in the very same innings of the very same match. One scorebook, two blobs, twice the ignominy. Spookily, both men share their historical echo too: on this very day back in 1960, Frank Brattle — 1937 to 1971, 38 career ducks, 5th all-time — also strolled back for nought, against A. Trembeths. History, it seems, is fond of the 24th of September. 📋 Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks, both from the same fixture — the rest of the round proved disappointingly fowl-free. West Farleigh CC can consider themselves honorary sponsors of the Duck Club this week. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Jim Hall — 37 inns, 10 ducks, 27.03% 2. Martin Mears — 15 inns, 4 ducks, 26.67% 3. Paul Brattle — 43 inns, 4 ducks, 9.30% 4. Keith Miller — 6 inns, 3 ducks, 50.00% 5. Trevor Back — 15 inns, 3 ducks, 20.00% Jim Hall sits well clear at the summit, but Martin Mears is closing fast on percentage. With the season winding down, there's still time for one more name to blot its copybook before the last bell. Same time next week — bring your bat, and preferably use it.

Three matches, three ducks — a lean week for the Duck Club, but each one arrived with pedigree, and by the time Thursday's Midweek fixture rolled round the honours boards were groaning under the weight of history disturbed. 🏏 Saturday 17th — 1st XI v Southborough CC Paul Bowles opened the innings and, with the ink barely dry on the scorebook, was back in the pavilion — caught Sam Martin, bowled Ron Kingsmill, for a duck that is his 2nd of the season and 28th of an increasingly distinguished career. That tally lifts him to 17th in the all-time standings out of 942 hopefuls, alongside two Duck of the Year crowns (1966 and 1968) and membership of the Ducks on the Road top ten. On this very day back in 1972, none other than John Thirkell — the club's undisputed monarch of the nought, on 90 career ducks and still climbing — was also dismissed for nought, against Mersham Hatch. Keep that name in mind. We'll be seeing it again by Thursday. 🌱 Sunday 18th — 1st XI at Mersham Hatch Batting at number ten, Jon Harris departed caught J- Copeland, bowled D- Bromley, for his 3rd duck of the season and 35th of his career — good enough for 7th on the all-time list. Jon arrives with a positively baronial collection of honours: Duck of the Year 1976, a place in both the Homebody and Lone Duck top tens, Tourist Duck top ten membership, the rare Full House (a duck at every position 1 to 11, a feat of comprehensive incompetence), and Quacking Together partnerships with both Allan Cooper and current season pace-setter Jim Hall. His relative Richard Harris is no stranger to this company either, with 36 career ducks of his own — clearly a family that takes its cricket, and its ducks, seriously. On this day in 1960, Cliff Anscombe made an identical journey back to the pavilion against Tilling Steven. 🌾 Thursday 22nd — Midweek XI v West Kent Wanderers CC And so to the name promised above. Batting at nine, John Thirkell was bowled by M- Brown for his 2nd duck of the season — his 90th in a career spanning 786 innings, a figure that remains utterly untouchable at the top of the all-time table. Five Duck of the Year titles (1952, 1954, 1955, 1967 and 1971) and top-ten residency in both the Ducks on the Road and Homebody categories confirm what the numbers already show: this is a man who has made an art of the nought. Fittingly, the family trade continues — son Tim Thirkell sits on 35 career ducks of his own, level with Jon Harris above, and Nigel Thirkell isn't far behind on 26. On this day in 1951, John --'s Taylor also fell for a duck, against Hunton Wanderers CC — small consolation for a man who has now outducked practically the entire club roster. 📋 The Week in Brief Three ducks, three different days, not a single repeat offender — a rare show of restraint from the Duck Club this week. No pairs, no family doubles this time, just three individually excellent contributions to the art of not scoring. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Jim Hall — 9 ducks in 36 innings (25.0%) 2. Paul Brattle — 4 ducks in 42 innings (9.5%) 3. Keith Miller — 3 ducks in 6 innings (50.0%) 4. Martin Mears — 3 ducks in 14 innings (21.4%) 5. Trevor Back — 3 ducks in 15 innings (20.0%) Keith Miller's 50% strike rate remains the stuff of nightmares for any bowler hoping for a fair contest. Next fixture awaits, and with it, no doubt, further additions to these ranks. The Duck Club never rests. 🦆

Three matches out on tour this week and the ducks, mostly, kept their heads down. Only one name earned its place in the ledger — but he made it count. Tour XI At Beacon CC in Cornwall on the 11th, David Buck came in at number two and departed lbw to Michael Bryant without registering — a plain, unadorned nought. It's his 2nd duck of the season and his 4th in a 19-innings career, keeping him handily inside the all-time top 101 (of 940 he'd rather not be counted among). Fittingly, on this very day back in 1954, Len Conway also fell for a duck against Old Roffensians, on his way to 12 career ducks and a place in the club's Debutante Duck club — proof the calendar has form for this sort of thing. David isn't the only Buck on the books either — kinsman William Buck carries 28 career ducks of his own, a proper family tradition in the making. Week in Summary Three matches, one duck — a stingy return by Duck Club standards, but quality over quantity. The Cornish leg of the tour otherwise passed off disappointingly duck-free. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 1. Jim Hall — 9 ducks / 34 innings (26.47%) 2. Paul Brattle — 4 ducks / 39 innings (10.26%) 3. Keith Miller — 3 ducks / 5 innings (60.0%) 4. Martin Mears — 3 ducks / 13 innings (23.08%) 5. Trevor Back — 3 ducks / 15 innings (20.0%) Keith Miller's 60% strike rate remains a masterclass in the art of not scoring — three ducks from five innings, no signs of slowing. Next fixture looms, and with it, fresh opportunity for the zero club to welcome new — or returning — members. We watch. We wait. We celebrate. 🦆🍩

A proper touring week for the Duck Club, with the lads down in Cornwall for a mid-week jaunt while the 1st XI held the fort at home against Staplehurst. Six fixtures, eight ducks, and the exclusive zero club welcomes plenty of fresh — and returning — blood. Saturday 3rd — 1st XI v Staplehurst CC A trio for Linton in this one, and history nodded along: on this very day back in 1949, P- Martin also made a duck, albeit against East Peckham & Nettlestead CC. - Gary Marshall opened his LPCC account in the cruellest way possible, bowled by B- Russell for a duck on debut — straight onto the Debutante Duck board at the first time of asking. 1 career duck from 4 innings, 311th on the all-time list. - Jim Hall was bowled by C Rogers for his 8th of the season and 31st career duck from 177 innings — a lofty 13th all-time. His Quacking Together honours with fellow victim Martin Mears were very much fulfilled this week, and with 9 already banked for the season he's cruising towards Duck of the Year 1977. - Martin Mears fell to a- Davies, his 3rd of the season and 7th career duck from 45 innings, 69th all-time — the Quacking Together partnership with Jim Hall alive and well. Tour — Paul CC, Cornwall (Tues 6th) Two down in the same innings, and on this same day in 1967 Roger Craddock was doing likewise against Birchington CC. - Jim Hall completed the pair — caught B Lawry, bowled R Stephens — his 9th of the season and 32nd career duck, pulling further clear at the top of the Duck of the Year 1977 race. - Keith Miller ran himself out for nought, his 3rd duck of the season and, remarkably, his 3rd from just 5 career innings — a duck rate to make the accountants wince, 138th all-time. Tour — St Just CC (Wed 7th) Tim Thirkell, lbw to P Pearce, notched his 2nd of the season and 35th of a long career spanning 262 innings — 7th all-time and a proud member of the Full House board, having now ducked from every position 1 to 11. On this day in 1963, Frank Brattle also fell for nought. Tim keeps it in the family too — kin John Thirkell tops the entire club's all-time duck standings with a barely believable 89. Tour — Grampound Road CC (Thurs 8th) Trevor Back was bowled by T Maddern, his 3rd of the season and 6th career duck from 38 innings, 82nd all-time, adding to his Quacking Together ledger with Jon Harris. On this day in 1945, Stan Wratten was similarly dismissed. Tour — Cornwall Crusaders (Fri 9th) Andrew Moss, bowled by P Johns, opened his season's account and reached double figures for his career — 10 ducks from 131 innings, 47th all-time, and a long-standing member of the Retirement Duck board from a past farewell. On this day in 1973, none other than John Ames — 2nd on the all-time chart — made a duck of his own. One fixture on the tour stayed resolutely duck-free — a rare mercy for someone. Week in summary Eight ducks from six matches — the curse followed the tour bus the length of Cornwall. Jim Hall's pair was the standout feat of the week and puts him well clear at the top of the season standings. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Jim Hall — 9 ducks, 34 innings, 26.47% 2. Paul Brattle — 4 ducks, 37 innings, 10.81% 3. Keith Miller — 3 ducks, 5 innings, 60.0% 4. Martin Mears — 3 ducks, 12 innings, 25.0% 5. Trevor Back — 3 ducks, 14 innings, 21.43% The season presses on and the Duck of the Year race is Jim Hall's to lose. Roll on next weekend — the zero club always has room for one more. 🍩🏏0️⃣

Three fixtures out on the road and in the field this week, and the ducks kept a remarkably low profile — only two brave souls answered the call of the exclusive zero club. Quality, evidently, over quantity. 🏏 Saturday 28th — 1st XI v Hempstead CC Keith Miller, at five, departed bowled by L Worrall without so much as troubling the scorer. It's his second duck of the campaign and, tellingly, his second in a career that stretches to just four innings — a 50% strike rate for the art of not scoring that would make any bowler blush. He sits 196th of 939 in the all-time reckoning, and on this very day back in 1974 a young Roland Parr was doing exactly the same thing against Gravesend CC, en route to a solitary career duck of his own. Keith, you're in fine if fleeting company. 🚌 Sunday 31st — Midweek XI away at Gravesend CC Opening the innings and setting the tone rather differently than intended, Paul Brattle nicked off, caught Simon Hinks off the bowling of C Biddlecombe. It's Paul's 4th of the season and a chunky 21st for his career from 218 innings — good enough for 27th on the all-time list, and a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from a debut long since consigned to history. Fittingly, on this same date in 1974 Mike Iliffe was also walking back for nought against Whitstable CC, on his way to 34 career ducks and 9th spot overall. Paul, incidentally, bats in rather feathered company off the field too — with a parent, a sibling and wider family all carrying double-figure duck tallies between them, this is very much the family trade. 📋 Week in Summary Three matches, two ducks — a quiet weekend by Duck Club standards, with the Saturday and Sunday sides mostly finding their way to the middle without incident. No pairs, no kings, no family gatherings on the honours board this time round. Sometimes the ducks simply migrate elsewhere. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Jim Hall — 28 innings, 7 ducks, 25.0% - Paul Brattle — 32 innings, 4 ducks, 12.5% - Keith Miller — 4 innings, 2 ducks, 50.0% - Alan Cradduck — 5 innings, 2 ducks, 40.0% - Tony Gauna — 5 innings, 2 ducks, 40.0% Keith Miller's blistering 50% duck rate keeps him lurking dangerously close to the summit despite the shortest innings count in the top five — one to watch as the season enters its closing stretch. 🍩 Next fixture, next chance. The ducks never truly rest — see you all out there.

Two matches, nine ducks, and the club's own correspondent bureau is pleased to report the season's harvest is coming along nicely. 🏏 1st XI v Bobbing Court CC, Saturday 20th August (home) Tim Thirkell fell at four, caught by J Gorf off Roger Mills, for his 1st duck of the season and 34th of a distinguished career — 10th in the all-time table of 939. A proud member of the Full House board (a duck at every position, 1 to 11 — a completionist's curse if ever there was one), Tim now sits level on 34 with Jon Harris himself, who ducked twice in this very match. Neat symmetry: on this day in 1944, W Bunting also made a duck, against KCC Maidstone. Jim Hall (7) was caught behind off D Hookway for his 6th of the season, 29th career, 14th all-time — a name that appears on more honours boards than the clubhouse noticeboard, including back-to-back Duck of the Year in 1970 and 1977. He wasn't done, either — more below. Keith Miller (9), caught off D Hookway, notched his maiden career duck from just 3 innings — an inauspicious start to a short ledger, 351st of 939. And Jon Harris (10), bowled by P Bedelle, added his 2nd of the weekend, 34th of his career — the Full House man himself, level with Tim Thirkell, Gordon Fenner and Mike Iliffe on that same total. 🏏 1st XI v Lordswood CC, Sunday 21st August (home) David Buck opened and fell lbw to W Wells for his 1st of the season, 3rd career, from just 12 innings. On this day in 1955, John Ames — the club's own duck-royalty, 49 career ducks, 2nd all-time — also fell, against Halfway House. Trevor Back (5), caught off Wells, took his 2nd of the season and 5th career, joining a well-populated table at 94th all-time. Then Jim Hall returned to the crease and promptly departed again, caught off Wells for his 7th of the season and 30th career — a pair for the weekend, out in both innings this period. Not quite regal enough for a king pair, but a grim double all the same, and it vaults him to the top of the current Duck Hunting Season standings. Martin Mears (7), also off Wells, moved to 2 for the season and 6 career. And Tony Gauna, last man in, fell to N Scudder for his 2nd of the weekend, 19th career — level with Fred Greenfield and just ahead of Tony Snell on the all-time list. 📋 Week in Summary Nine ducks across two matches — Wells the Lordswood bowler alone accounted for four of them, a proper poultry harvest for the visitors. Jim Hall's weekend pair was the headline event, though the whole 1st XI seemed determined to make a weekend of it. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Jim Hall — 27 inns, 7 ducks (25.9%) 2. Paul Brattle — 29 inns, 3 ducks (10.3%) 3. Alan Cradduck — 4 inns, 2 ducks (50.0%) 4. Tony Gauna — 5 inns, 2 ducks (40.0%) 5. Trevor Back — 9 inns, 2 ducks (22.2%) 🍩 The zero club never sleeps, and neither do the bowlers. Next fixture, someone else's name goes up on the board — see you there.

Two fixtures graced the fixture list this week, but the Duck Club's entire harvest came from one killing field: Saturday's home date with Sibton Park CC, where three Linton batsmen were sent packing without troubling the scorer. Sunday, by contrast, passed off suspiciously clean. 🏏 1st XI v Sibton Park CC (home) Jim Hall departed at first wicket down for nought, bowled by E. Prince — his 5th duck of the season and 28th of an ever-more-decorated career, good enough for 16th on the all-time list of 939. A paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club since his very first innings, Hall already carries the 1977 Duck of the Year board to his name, and this latest failure only tightens his grip on that crown as the season stands. He also remains just one batting position shy of the fabled Full House — a duck from ten of eleven slots — a piece of dubious history he seems determined to complete. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1893, A Kent made a duck of his own against Royal Engineers CC, going on to claim that year's Duck of the Year honours — kindred spirits separated by eighty-four years. Trevor Back followed at five, bowled by Nick Guy, for his first duck of the season and the 4th of his career from 32 innings, 112th of 939 all time. Back keeps distinguished company in the Duck Club's travel section, sitting inside the top ten for both Ducks on the Road and Homebody Duck — proof that ducks find you whether you stay or go. He too shares his calendar square with 1893's A Kent, who was busy doing precisely the same thing against Royal Engineers CC on this very date. At number ten, Tony Gauna fell to the very same E. Prince who had already claimed Hall, moving to 18 career ducks from 76 innings — 32nd of 939 — and his first of the season. Prince can rightly claim a poultry brace of his own for the afternoon's work. Gauna joins the growing 1893 reunion, A Kent having made his own duck against Royal Engineers CC on this same date, proof the calendar has a long memory for failure. 📊 Week in Brief Three ducks from two matches, every one of them served up by Sibton Park CC's bowling attack, with E. Prince doing the double almost single-handedly. Sunday's fixture, meanwhile, kept its powder dry. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Jim Hall — 5 ducks / 25 innings (20%) 2. Paul Brattle — 3 ducks / 27 innings (11.11%) 3. Alan Cradduck — 2 ducks / 4 innings (50%) 4. Malcolm Pay — 2 ducks / 16 innings (12.5%) 5. Giles Daubeny — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) Hall leads the chase for now, but Cradduck's fearsome 50% strike rate and Daubeny's flawless record lurk menacingly behind him. The next fixture awaits — bat raised, expectations low, as ever. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A slim week for the exclusive zero club — just two fixtures played, and only one name added to the ledger. But scarcity only sharpens the ceremony, so let's give it its due. Midweek XI Away at Sennocke CC, Mike Iliffe strode out at four and departed caught and bowled by G. Marsh — his 1st duck of the 1977 season, and the 34th of a Linton career now spanning 236 innings. That tally holds him at a mightily impressive 8th in the all-time standings, a place reserved for only the club's most committed practitioners of the art of not scoring. 🥇🦆 Neat symmetry too: on this very day back in 1970, Jon Harris was going through precisely the same motions against Gravesend CC, on his way to 33 career ducks (1966–1977) and 10th in the all-time list. Mike's now breathing down his neck for that spot. 📋 Week in Summary Just the one duck from two matches — the Duck Club's coffers stayed largely unmolested this week. Sometimes the birds simply refuse to be caught. 🍩 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🏆 1. Jim Hall — 4 ducks / 23 innings (17.4%) 2. Paul Brattle — 3 ducks / 26 innings (11.5%) 3. Alan Cradduck — 2 ducks / 4 innings (50.0%) 0️⃣ 4. Malcolm Pay — 2 ducks / 15 innings (13.3%) 5. Giles Daubeny — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) — a flawless start to a Duck Club career if ever there was one. Cradduck and Daubeny both keeping remarkably pure strike rates in entirely the wrong direction — the club salutes their dedication to the cause. That's the lot for this week, ducklings. The next round of fixtures awaits, and with them, inevitably, more names for the honours board. Bat straight, or don't bother — we'll see you either way. 🦆🏏

A quiet weekend by the exclusive zero club's usual standards — just the one duck laid across two fixtures — but what it lacked in volume it made up for in pedigree. 🏏 Saturday 30 July — Away at Sibton Park CC The 1st XI's trip to Sibton Park brought the weekend's sole casualty. In at six, Jim Hall departed courtesy of Gordon Webb's gloves off Nick Guy's bowling — a tidy little dismissal that adds a fourth duck to his season and a 27th to a career now 165 innings deep. That's rank 18 of 939 in the all-time table, comfortably inside the sport's most committed circle of underachievement. Hall barely needs introducing to these pages. A paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from whenever his first innings went the same way, he's also a two-time Duck of the Year — 1970, and, rather pointedly, 1977 itself, a crown this latest effort does nothing to loosen his grip on. He sits in the "Full House nearly-man" bracket too, having managed the indignity of a duck from 10 of 11 batting positions — leaving only one spot on the fixture list still needing a visit. Frequent flyer status is confirmed by top-ten placings in both Tourist Duck and Homebody Duck — proof that geography offers no protection whatsoever — while his Quacking Together entries alongside Jon Harris, Martin Mears and Tim Thirkell suggest he rarely quacks alone for long. Neatly, this one arrived almost to the day of history repeating itself. On this very date in 1972, Andrew Moss — who turned out for the club 1968 to 1974 and finished with 9 career ducks, rank 52 of 939 — also trudged off for nought, against Glynde & Beddingham CC. Moss remains a name on the Retirement Duck honours board from his eventual farewell, a reminder that today's naught can, in time, become tomorrow's footnote. 🌱 Sunday 31 July A rare vegan Sunday for the Duck Club — both sides that turned out kept their noughts to themselves, and Hall's Saturday effort stood as the weekend's entire haul. 📊 Week in Summary One duck from two matches is a modest return, but Jim Hall made sure it counted for something — carrying the full weight of the weekend's ignominy solo, and doing it in a season he already leads. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Jim Hall — 4 ducks / 22 innings (18.18%) - Paul Brattle — 3 ducks / 26 innings (11.54%) - Alan Cradduck — 2 ducks / 4 innings (50.0%) - Malcolm Pay — 2 ducks / 14 innings (14.29%) - Giles Daubeny — 1 duck / 1 innings (100.0%) Daubeny's early flourish deserves a nod — a perfect record after a single innings takes some maintaining, and the club watches with interest to see whether he can keep it up. The season presses on, and with it the race for the 1977 crown. Next fixture, more willow, more opportunity — the ducks are surely just resting. See you all out there. 🍩🏏

A quiet weekend for the exclusive zero club — only two matches on the go, but each one found its man. The art of not scoring, alive and well. 🏏 1st XI Saturday, at home to Old Anchorians CC, Giles Daubeny strode out at number nine and departed without troubling the scorers, bowled by J- Lycett for nought. It's his maiden duck for the club — 1 for the season, 1 for the career, in just 3 innings — and it plants him at 310th of 939 in the all-time reckoning. He keeps illustrious company doing it: on this very day in 1960, Brian Relf also strolled back for a duck, against Tovil. Relf played from 1950 to 1971, finished with 25 to his name (21st all-time), and holds down a proper honours cabinet — the Debutante Duck and the rare Quack-to-Quack double among them. Sunday, away to Sevenoaks Vine CC, and the top order took a hit too. Paul Brattle, opening at number two, edged Andrew Darry through to Graham Sagar for nought — his third duck of the season and 20th of a long and distinguished career spanning 210 innings, good for 28th all-time. Paul remains a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from a duck on debut long ago, and stays in fine form this season, sitting second on the current leaderboard. The parallel here is one for the family album: on this same day in 1960, against Folkestone CC, Frank Brattle — a parent-child relation of Paul's own — also fell without scoring, one of 38 ducks he gathered across a career running 1937 to 1971. He's in good company closer to home too, with kin Percy Brattle (16 career ducks) and sibling Ian Brattle (10) keeping the Brattle name well represented on the board. Ducking, it seems, runs in the blood. 📊 The Week in Numbers Two matches, two ducks, both courtesy of the 1st XI — one at home, one away, a tidy study in consistency of a very particular kind. No pairs, no family doubles this time, just two solo performances in triumph through adversity. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1977 - Jim Hall — 3 ducks / 20 innings (15%) - Paul Brattle — 3 ducks / 24 innings (12.5%) - Alan Cradduck — 2 ducks / 4 innings (50%) - Malcolm Pay — 2 ducks / 13 innings (15.4%) - Giles Daubeny — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) — a flawless entry to LPCC quacking life Plenty more fixtures to come, and with them, plenty more chances for the dreaded nought. See you at the crease — or, more likely, on the walk back from it. 🦆🍩

Three matches. Three chances for glory. And not a single soul obliged us. For the first time in recent memory, the Duck Club's traps came back empty — no ducks recorded across the entire period, at either XI. Every batsman who walked to the crease this week walked back again having troubled the scorer, which is, frankly, a dereliction of duty on the part of the bowling attacks involved. Somewhere Alan Cradduck is shaking his head at the missed opportunity to pad his 50% strike rate further. We can only assume the bowlers were off their lines, the fielders were catching everything cleanly out of spite, or the entire membership simply decided, en masse, to have a quiet week of actual competence. Either way, the honours board gathers dust and the Duck of the Year race sits exactly where it was. A rare weekend indeed — even the art of not scoring took a rest. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard — 1977 - Jim Hall — 3 ducks from 19 innings (15.79%). The clubhouse pace-setter, quietly assembling a season to remember for all the wrong reasons. - Alan Cradduck — 2 ducks from just 4 innings (50.0%). A coin-flip every time he takes guard — magnificent, terrifying consistency. - Malcolm Pay — 2 ducks from 12 innings (16.67%). Keeping steady company at the sharp end of the table. - Paul Brattle — 2 ducks from 22 innings (9.09%). The reliable old campaigner, doing it the slow and dignified way. - J- McDonald — 1 duck from a single innings (100.0%). A flawless record, in the very worst sense. Nowhere to go but down. 📅 Onwards Normal service will surely resume next time out — the exclusive zero club does not stay quiet for long, and somewhere out there a fresh nought is already warming up in the on-deck circle. Get out to the middle, gentlemen. The Duck Club is watching, patiently, and it always collects eventually. 🦆 0️⃣

A modest but characterful haul this week: four ducks across two matches, with Sunday's trip to Aylesford doing the heavy lifting. The exclusive zero club welcomes fresh figures all round. Saturday 9 July — 1st XI v Medway Valley Malcolm Pay was trapped lbw by Freidman, his 2nd duck of the season and 4th of an increasingly dubious career from 24 innings — 107th on the all-time list of 938. On this very day back in 1902, F E Wallis (1887–1908) also strolled off for nought against Town Malling CC, sitting on that same career tally of 4 (rank 102) before going on to be crowned Duck of the Year 1907. The calendar, it seems, has long memories. Sunday 10 July — 1st XI v Aylesford Paper Mills CC A proper subsidence at Aylesford, with three names added to the books in a single innings — and Terry Parker doing the damage twice. Jim Hall went first, bowled by Geoff Hughes for his 3rd duck of the season and 26th of a storied career from 161 innings — a lofty 19th on the all-time chart. Jim already carries the Duck of the Year 1977 crown and sits agonisingly one short of the complete set on the Full House nearly-man board, 10 positions down of 11. On this day in 1954, Robert Muir also made a duck, against A. Trembeths, closing his own career on 3 — a Retirement Duck club veteran. Alan Cradduck followed, bowled by Terry Parker for his 2nd of the season and 27th career duck from 116 innings, 17th all-time — a paid-up Debutante Duck member, Duck of the Year 1974, and still extending his personal Ducks in a Row streak to five consecutive. He too finds company in Robert Muir's 1954 nought. Completing the collapse, Jon Harris also fell to Terry Parker — his 1st duck of the season but 33rd of a career now standing 9th all-time from 199 innings. Jon is a fully paid-up Full House member, having now ducked from every position 1 through 11, comprehensive incompetence of the highest order. Fittingly, his duck arrived arm in arm with Jim Hall's — the pair's Quacking Together honour extended in real time as both departed in the same innings. A chip off the old block too, with relative Richard Harris carrying 36 career ducks of his own. And Robert Muir, 1954, keeps the whole trio company. Week in summary Four ducks, two matches, one thorough top-order wobble at Aylesford. No golden ducks to report this week — everyone at least troubled the scorers before troubling nobody else at all. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Jim Hall — 3 ducks / 18 innings (16.7%) - Alan Cradduck — 2 ducks / 4 innings (50.0%) - Malcolm Pay — 2 ducks / 11 innings (18.2%) - Paul Brattle — 2 ducks / 19 innings (10.5%) - J- McDonald — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) Alan Cradduck sits ominously atop the percentages, and with the season still to run there's no shortage of contenders for the 1977 crown. Next fixture, the ducks will doubtless be back for more — bring your bat, and preferably use it. 🍩

Three fixtures out on the park this week and, remarkably, the exclusive zero club could only muster a single new recruit. A quiet week by the standards of the art of not scoring — but never let it be said the Midweek XI didn't do their bit. 🏏 Midweek XI — Northend Sunday (home), Wednesday 6th July Nigel Thirkell walked out at first drop and walked straight back again, caught F- Nutten off the bowling of K Stapley. It's his 1st duck of the 1977 season and the 26th of a long and dogged career spanning 207 innings — good enough for 19th on Linton's all-time roll of dishonour. Nigel is no stranger to the honours boards, either — a fixture of both the Homebody Duck and Tourist Duck top tens, proof that he's equally at ease collecting noughts whether the tea urn is his own club's or somebody else's. He also carries the "Only Two Quacks" pairing with Jim Hall, which feels rather apt given Jim currently sits atop this very season's leaderboard. Keeping it all in the family — Nigel's kin book makes for sobering reading, with parent-child duck-collector John Thirkell sitting on 89 career ducks, sibling Tim Thirkell on 33, and family member Stuart Thirkell quietly getting started on 1. John, incidentally, is currently lurking in this season's top five in his own right — the family that quacks together, apparently stays together. And spookily enough, on this very day back in 1968, Paul Bowles — twice Duck of the Year, in 1966 and 1968 — was doing precisely the same thing, walking back for nought against Charles Arkcoll. Some traditions simply refuse to die. 📋 Week in Summary The other two matches of the week passed off as thoroughly vegan affairs — not a feather ruffled. So it falls to the Midweek XI alone to keep the season's tally ticking over. One duck from three matches is a lean return, but the season is young yet, and the honours boards are patient. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Jim Hall — 16 innings, 2 ducks, 12.5% - Paul Brattle — 18 innings, 2 ducks, 11.11% - J- McDonald — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Alan Cradduck — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33% - John Thirkell — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33% Jim Hall holds a slender lead at the top, with the chasing pack breathing down his neck. Next match, someone's bound to make a move — quack good luck to them all. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Four fixtures on the go this week and the exclusive zero club welcomed three new entries, all of them courtesy of the 1st XI. The 2nds, 3rds and 4th kept their skirts entirely clean — a rare outbreak of competence best not dwelt on. 🏏 Saturday 25 June — away at Hythe CC Paul Brattle got things underway in the worst possible fashion, caught Martin Cobb off the bowling of Neil Cugley without so much as a scamper. It's his 2nd duck of the season and the 19th of a career now 203 innings long, good (bad) enough for 29th on the all-time list. A long-serving member of the Debutante Duck fraternity from his own first-baller years back, Paul also bats in famous company off the field — father Frank on 38 career ducks, kinsman Percy on 16, brother Ian on 10. The art of not scoring, it seems, runs in the blood. On this very date in 1969, Terry Whittaker also strolled back for nought, against West Kent Wanderers CC — Terry finished up with 30 to his name, 14th all-time, and a Retirement Duck to his credit for bowing out the same way he so often arrived. 🏏 Thursday 30 June — home to West Farleigh CC A midweek double dose. Jim Hall departed for his 2nd duck of the season, caught Trevor Back off Peter J Day, moving to 25 career ducks and 21st on the all-time roll. Jim is no stranger to the honours boards — Duck of the Year already in 1970, and with two already banked this term he's sitting handsomely atop the current Duck of the Year 1977 race. He's also a fixture of the Lone Duck, Homebody, Tourist and Ducks on the Road top tens, one position shy of the coveted Full House, and shares Quacking Together billing with Jon Harris, Martin Mears and Tim Thirkell alike. Consistency of a very particular kind. Batting at 7, Malcolm Pay joined him in ignominy, bowled by Trevor Back for his 1st duck of the season and 3rd of a career now 23 innings old, sitting 138th all-time. Both Jim and Malcolm keep on-this-day company with R- Robinson, who also ducked on 30 June back in 1956 against St Lukes Maidstone CC — a brief one-season career (1956-1957) that yielded just the single nought, 391st all-time. Good to know someone's tally is smaller than Malcolm's. 📊 Week in Summary Three ducks from four matches, all delivered by the 1st XI, and two of them arriving in the same innings at West Farleigh — Trevor Back doing his level best to keep the Duck Club well stocked from the bowling crease. No golden ducks, no pairs, no family affairs this week — just honest, old-fashioned triumph through adversity. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Jim Hall — 15 inns, 2 ducks (13.33%) 2. Paul Brattle — 17 inns, 2 ducks (11.76%) 3. J- McDonald — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) 4. John Thirkell — 2 inns, 1 duck (50%) 5. Alan Cradduck — 3 inns, 1 duck (33.33%) Jim Hall holds a narrow lead in the race for Duck of the Year 1977 — but with the season still young, plenty of time for Paul Brattle, or some as-yet-unheralded name, to make a late run at the crown. 🦆 Next fixture, same story: bat well, or bat briefly. Either way, the Duck Club will be watching.

Three matches. Three results. Not a single nought to show for it. The Duck Club can only report a rare and faintly suspicious weekend of universal competence — every batsman who walked to the crease at Linton Park this period contrived, infuriatingly, to trouble the scorers. No golden ducks, no pairs, no family affairs on the honours board, nothing whatsoever for the committee to solemnly minute. The art of not scoring, it seems, took the weekend off. We are obliged to say this plainly: the ducks evaded capture. Whether through good form, flat pitches, or a temporary and no doubt fleeting outbreak of application, the Zero Club gained no new inductees this week. Existing members may rest easy in their standings; nobody has closed the gap. Let it not be said the Club is idle in the meantime — 1977 already has its contenders warmed up and waiting, and with three-quarters of the season still to play there is ample time for someone to put this quiet spell firmly behind them. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard — 1977 - 🥇 J- McDonald — 1 duck from 1 innings — a flawless 100% strike rate. Early days, but you cannot argue with perfection. - 🥈 John Thirkell — 1 duck from 2 innings — 50%, level on ducks with the man just below. - 🥈 Martin Thompson — 1 duck from 2 innings — also 50%, keeping Thirkell honest company at the top. - 4️⃣ Alan Cradduck — 1 duck from 3 innings — 33%, and arguably cricket's most on-the-nose surname for the job. - 5️⃣ Allan Cooper — 1 duck from 4 innings — 25%, the early season's model of restraint, one nought at a time. A tight field, and with everyone still on a single duck apiece, this race for 1977's crown is wide open. 🏏 So there it is — a blank sheet this time round, but the season is young and Linton Park's batsmen have a long history of obliging us sooner or later. Next fixture, normal service resumes. The Duck Club will be watching, as ever, hoping for the worst. 0️⃣🦆

Four fixtures across the week and the ducks proved remarkably shy — only one bird bagged all week. Quality over quantity, as they say in the exclusive zero club. 🏏 1st XI v Rumwood CC (home) Opening the batting on the 11th, Jim Hall departed cheaply, held safely by K. Boorman off the bowling of J. Carter. Nothing golden about this one — Jim got bat on ball and still found his way back to the pavilion, a talent all of its own. It's his 1st duck of the 1977 season and, more weightily, his 24th in a 156-innings career — good enough for 23rd on Linton's all-time roll of 937. That tally puts him in step, calendar-wise, with the great Terry Whittaker, who played 1958 to 1972, finished with 30 to his name and sits 14th all-time — and who, by splendid coincidence, made his own duck on this very date back in 1967, also against Hartley Country Club CC. Some anniversaries you can set your watch by. Jim's honours-board CV runs deep for a man who, this week, simply nicked one to slip. He's a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from whenever his first-ever Linton innings went the same way, and — with the season very much still live — the current holder of Duck of the Year 1977, a title he first claimed back in 1970 too. Add in top-ten billing on the Lone Duck, Homebody Duck and Tourist Duck lists, plus a nearly-man's brush with the Full House, and you have a career built on consistency of a very particular kind. He's also a serial "Quacking Together" name, sharing duck-day honours down the years with Jon Harris, Martin Mears and Tim Thirkell. 📊 Week in Brief One duck from four matches is a lean return by Duck Club standards — the other three fixtures came and went without incident, which either means fine batting or a very quiet week for the scorers. Either way, the collection grows by exactly one, courtesy of Jim Hall. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. J- McDonald — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) 2. John Thirkell — 1 duck from 2 innings (50%) 3. Martin Thompson — 1 duck from 2 innings (50%) 4. Alan Cradduck — 1 duck from 3 innings (33.33%) 5. Allan Cooper — 1 duck from 4 innings (25%) Early days yet — everyone above is running on a small sample and a big reputation to protect. Plenty of cricket left in 1977 to shuffle this table. 🍩 Next Up The fixture list rolls on, and with it another chance for the zero club to welcome new members — or for old hands to add another nought to the ledger. Get out there, middle it if you can, and if you can't, at least give the correspondent something to write about. 🦆

Three fixtures out on the paddocks this weekend, and old Father Cricket kept the vast majority of Linton's batting line-up honest. Only one man answered the call of the exclusive zero club — but he answered it with the practised ease of a veteran, so let's give him his due. 🏏 1st XI v Old Stacians CC Coming in at 7, Alan Cradduck departed to a Jordan special, bowled without so much as troubling the scorer. It's Alan's 1st duck of the 1977 season and, remarkably, the 26th of a career now stretching to 114 innings — a tally that plants him firmly at 18th in the all-time Linton standings, a place of dubious distinction he's occupied with some consistency for a while now. Alan is, of course, a fully paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, having opened his Linton account with precisely nought all those years ago, and he still carries the scars — sorry, honours — of a 1974 Duck of the Year campaign and a run of Ducks in a Row (five consecutive) that remains one of the club's more magnificently grim feats of endurance. Triumph through adversity, truly. And in a splendid piece of calendar symmetry: on this very day in 1973, Terry Donovan (1959–1977, 17 career ducks, 33rd all-time) was also marching back for a duck, against the newport fugitives no less. Four years apart, same date, same fate — the art of not scoring clearly has no regard for the passage of time. 📅 Week in Summary Three matches, one duck — a lean harvest by Duck Club standards, and one suspects the bowlers were simply having an off weekend. Still, quality over quantity: Alan's contribution alone keeps the season ledger ticking over nicely. The other two fixtures passed disappointingly duck-free, which is either a triumph of application or a temporary ceasefire. We shall see. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. J- McDonald — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 2. John Thirkell — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 3. Alan Cradduck — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) 4. Allan Cooper — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) 5. Martin Thompson — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) Early days yet in the race for Duck of the Year 1977, with the top of the table still wide open and everyone on a perfect — or near-perfect — record. Plenty of cricket left to add to it. Next weekend brings fresh opportunity for glorious failure. The ducks may have evaded the net this time, but they never stay away for long. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Four matches out on the county's finest squares this week and, remarkably, not a single member troubled the scorers with a nought. The zero club's most exclusive door stayed firmly shut — every batsman across all four fixtures got off the mark, however unconvincingly some of them may have done it. A quiet week for the committee, but a suspicious one. Four full games without a solitary duck is the kind of statistic that makes a Duck Club correspondent nervous rather than relieved — are standards slipping, or has the club simply gone into hiding ahead of the summer's more serious business? Either way, the honours board gathers dust for another seven days, and the exclusive fellowship of the golden, king and plain pair remains unrecruited this week. Spare a thought, too, for those sitting proudly atop this season's leaderboard, watching from the pavilion as an entire week passes them by uncontested. Consistency, as ever, is a virtue only half of them can claim. 🍩 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🍩 🥇 J- McDonald — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) — perfection of a very particular kind 🥈 John Thirkell — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) — joins McDonald at the summit, both yet to trouble the scorers even once 🥉 Allan Cooper — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) — halfway to infamy 4️⃣ Martin Thompson — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) — keeping level with Cooper, for now 5️⃣ Paul Brattle — 3 innings, 1 duck (33.33%) — the early pacesetter, cooling off nicely 📅 Looking ahead The ducks may have evaded capture this week, but few believe the reprieve will last. With the season only just finding its feet, there remains ample opportunity for the leaderboard to be reshuffled, the honours board to gain new members, and someone, somewhere, to walk back for nought first ball. We watch. We wait. We celebrate. 🦆

A slim week for the exclusive zero club, but what it lacked in volume it made up for in quality — Headcorn's Richard Chapman helped himself to LPCC's entire opening pair in one traumatic afternoon. 🏏 Saturday 21 May — 1st XI away at Headcorn CC Paul Brattle, in at first drop, departed courtesy of G Anthony's safe hands off Richard Chapman without scoring — his 1st duck of the summer and 18th of a career now 189 innings deep, good enough (or bad enough) for 31st on the all-time list of 935. Paul is already a card-carrying member of the Debutante Duck club from his very first knock for the club years back, and he clearly keeps it in the family — relative Frank Brattle sits on 38 career noughts, with Percy on 16 and Ian on 10. A proper duck dynasty. Not to be left out, Paul Bowles followed him back for nought at first drop's neighbour, caught B- Penney off the same tireless Richard Chapman — his 1st of the season and 27th for his career, moving him to a lofty 17th of 935 all-time. A two-time Duck of the Year (1966 and 1968) and a fixture of the Ducks on the Road top 10, Paul also shares the "Only Two Quacks" honour with Adam Pooley — proof, if any were needed, of a long and distinguished relationship with the art of not scoring. Keeping the pair of them company across the decades was John --'s Taylor, who fell without scoring on this very date back in 1956 against Marden CC, Kent — one of 15 career ducks in a career spanning 1949–1960, and good for 37th of 935 all-time. History, as ever, repeats itself in the middle order. 📅 Week in Summary Three matches, two ducks — a quiet one by Duck Club standards, and both laid squarely at the feet of Headcorn's Richard Chapman. When the openers go early, at least they go together. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. J- McDonald — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 2. John Thirkell — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 3. Martin Thompson — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 4. Allan Cooper — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) 5. Paul Brattle — 1 duck / 3 innings (33.33%) Perfect records at the top for now, though a perfect record cuts both ways — one more knock and the percentages start to look mortal. 🍩 Roll on the next fixture, ducks. The club's finest instrument of humiliation never rests for long — someone's overdue a nought, and Linton Park will be watching. 0️⃣🦆

🏏 1st XI v Maidstone Teachers (17 May, home) Three wickets down for nought in a single innings — a proper cluster of quacks in Maidstone sunshine. Brian Woodcock fell caught and bowled by Hughes, his 2nd career duck (1st of the season) from 19 innings, sliding to 159th in the all-time 935-strong standings. Neatly enough, on this very date back in 1953 Stan Wratten — a Quacking Together honouree who played 1943–1976 and finished with 33 career ducks — was also trudging off against Mote A. Some anniversaries write themselves. Martin Mears, bowled by P Jackson, brought up career duck number 5 from 38 innings, his season opener, and moved to 89th all-time. A card-carrying member of Quacking Together (with Jim Hall), he's keeping fashionable company on nought. Martin Thompson, bowled by C Quirk, notched his 3rd career duck from just 6 innings — arriving at the top table at some pace — for a season tally of 1 and a rank of 138th. Thompson is also a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell, though on today's evidence he's very much still in the game. 🏏 Midweek XI v Barclays Bank Norwich District (19 May, home) A day of contrasts at the other end of the experience spectrum. J- McDonald introduced himself to Linton Park cricket in the most understated way imaginable — bowled by D Bowker without troubling the scorer in his very first-ever innings. Debutante Duck secured on debut, and with career figures reading a tidy 1 duck from 1 innings, 1977 already has him installed on the One and Done honours list — a career of a single, lonely nought, at least so far. On this very day in 1974, Paul Bowles (1965–1977, 26 career ducks) was doing much the same thing against Aylesford Paper Mills. And then, ceremony. John Thirkell, run out on a mix-up nobody could quite explain, notched career duck number 89 — a figure that keeps him utterly untouchable at Number 1 in the entire club's all-time history. Five separate Duck of the Year titles, top-ten places in Lone Duck, Homebody Duck and Ducks on the Road, plus two Quacking Together partnerships to his name — the honours board practically needs its own extension for him. Fittingly, the noughts run in the family, with sons Tim (33 career ducks) and Nigel (25) handy contributors of their own. Thirkell shares McDonald's on-this-day parallel too, both echoing Paul Bowles's 1974 vintage. 📊 Week in Brief 5 ducks from 4 fixtures this week, with Maidstone Teachers and Barclays Bank doing all the damage between them — the other two games let the batting order off scot-free. No pairs, no golden ducks, no family affairs this time round. Just honest, unglamorous surrender. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 - J- McDonald — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - John Thirkell — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Martin Thompson — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Allan Cooper — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) - Brian Woodcock — 3 innings, 1 duck (33.33%) Early days yet in the 1977 hunt, but Thirkell's imperious career tally looms over every one of them. See you all at the next fixture — bats, and presumably a few more noughts, at the ready. 🦆🍩

A gentle open to the month at Linton Park, with the 1st XI hosting Castle Hill CC, Kent, and returning just the one name to the ledger. Quality over quantity, evidently. 🏏 1st XI — Home to Castle Hill CC, Kent Coming in at number seven, Allan Cooper's afternoon ended at the hands of Betts, bowled, for the season's opening duck. It's the 15th of a long and distinguished career spanning 81 innings, enough to see him sit 36th in the all-time list of 933 — rarefied company, of a sort nobody applies for on purpose. Allan is also a paid-up member of the "Only Two Quacks" club on no fewer than three separate occasions, having shared the honour down the years with Jim Hall, Jon Harris and Trevor Back respectively — a man who clearly likes company in his misery. Neat symmetry too: on this very day back in 1965, Fred Greenfield made a duck of his own against Staplehurst CC, one of 19 he'd amass across a 1964–1972 career good enough for 28th on the all-time roll — and a name still honoured in the Retirement Duck club for the manner of his own eventual sign-off. Eleven years apart almost to the day, same fate, different bowler. 📅 Week in Summary One match, one duck — a rare spot of restraint from the Duck Club this week. Allan Cooper stands alone as the sole contributor, but he's done enough to plant an early flag. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Allan Cooper — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% Fittingly unbeaten at the top by virtue of being the only entrant so far. Plenty of season left for company. 🦆 Next up: with fixtures rolling on through May, the Duck Club awaits fresh recruits. Get out there and give it your best not-at-all — see you next weekend.

Opening fixture of the new season and, remarkably, not a single quack to report. One match played on the 24th and all eleven batsmen on the field apparently remembered how a cricket bat works, trooping past the crease without troubling the Duck Club's rather exacting entry requirements. The exclusive zero club, it seems, is exercising its right to be exclusive. Not so much as a golden duck, a pair, or a family affair to log — the honours board rests undisturbed for another day, and the Hall of Fame's gates remain firmly shut to newcomers. Even the club's most reliable contributors seem to have mislaid their talent for getting out for nought, if only temporarily. A very un-Linton start to the campaign. 🍩 Week in Summary - Matches played: 1 - Ducks recorded: 0 - Golden ducks, pairs, king pairs: none — a clean sheet, if you can call an absence of failure a triumph 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard The 1977 charts are yet to open for business — with the season's ducks still evading capture, there's nobody to rank just yet. The board awaits its first entrant with bated breath. Early days yet, and the season is young. Somewhere out there, a batsman is already shouldering arms to one that clips off stump, or shuffling across his stumps for a needless LBW — we simply haven't met him yet. Onward to the next fixture, where normal service will surely resume. 🏏 See you at the crease. Or, preferably, not for long. 0️⃣