🦆 The Duck Pond

Two matches, two ducks, and the exclusive zero club welcomes its latest inductees as the 2015 season edges towards its close. 🏏 Saturday — 1st XI v Stowting CC Richard Piper, promoted to number two, departed caught and bowled by Troy Harding without so much as troubling the scoreboard operator. It's duck number four of the campaign and the 72nd of a decorated career, which now stands at a mighty 6th in the club's all-time list of 1435 duck-getters. Richard remains a permanent fixture of the honours board furniture — a Full House man (a duck registered at every position 1 to 11, no small feat of dedication), a fixture of the Homebody Duck, Lone Duck and Ducks on the Road top tens, and Duck of the Year back in 2003. The name runs in the blood too, with relatives Brian (23 career ducks) and James (15) both keeping the family average respectably low elsewhere. On this very day in 1982, David Iliffe also fell for nought against Anchorians CC — that year's Duck of the Year, and himself Quacked by Kin courtesy of Mike Iliffe. History, as ever, rhymes. 🌱 Sunday — 1st XI v Tenterden CC Nat Presneill was bowled by Angus Shepherd at number six, his fourth duck of the season and 16th of a career now spanning 43 innings — good enough for 79th on the all-time list. Nat is already a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, having opened his senior account with a nought many seasons back, and carries Duck of the Year honours from 2013. His name also sits, presumptively and hopefully prematurely, on the Retirement Duck and Quack-to-Quack boards — standing honours only, and we expect to see him at the crease for a good while yet. Kinsman Kevin Presneill already carries 23 career ducks of his own, so the gene pool remains undefeated. Nat draws level on exactly 16 career ducks with Iain Rawson, who played 2006–2013 and took 135 innings to reach the same total — Nat getting there in a rather more efficient 43. Efficiency, as always, cuts both ways in this club. 📋 Week in Summary A modest but perfectly formed haul — two ducks from two matches, both at 1st XI level, both bowled or caught in the first half of the order. No pairs, no families, no fireworks — just the quiet, steady business of the art of not scoring. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Luke Welsman — 7 ducks, 24 innings (29.17%) 2. Chris Newman — 5 ducks, 13 innings (38.46%) 3. Jordan Austin — 5 ducks, 18 innings (27.78%) 4. Martin Harris — 5 ducks, 23 innings (21.74%) 5. Tim Wright — 5 ducks, 31 innings (16.13%) Chris Newman still boasts the division's most alarming strike rate, but Luke Welsman clings to top spot on volume alone. The race for 2015 Duck of the Year remains very much alive. 🦆 See you next weekend, when the club's bowlers will no doubt be doing their level best to keep the tally climbing.

A quiet weekend on the LPCC oche, ducker-hunters. Two fixtures went into the book across Saturday and Sunday and, remarkably, every single Linton bat that walked to the crease found a way to trouble the scorers. Not one nought recorded. Not a sniff. The zero club's membership secretary has nothing to file this week. It happens. Even the most prolific collectors have their fallow spells, and this was one of them — a full weekend where the art of not scoring simply refused to be practised. The ducks, it seems, took the weekend off to roost elsewhere. Small mercies for the club's top order, then, though the regulars in the Duck Hunting Season standings will hardly be resting easy. The chasing pack is fierce and the percentages don't forget. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇🍩 1. Luke Welsman — 7 ducks in 23 innings (30.43%) 2. Chris Newman — 5 ducks in 12 innings (41.67%) 0️⃣ 3. Jordan Austin — 5 ducks in 17 innings (29.41%) 4. Martin Harris — 5 ducks in 23 innings (21.74%) 5. Tim Wright — 5 ducks in 30 innings (16.67%) Chris Newman remains the man to watch on pure strike rate — over two ducks in every five trips to the crease is a fearsome average to be chasing, even in this exclusive company. Luke Welsman holds the outright lead but Newman, Austin, Harris and Wright are all bunched on 5 apiece, so this season's Duck of the Year race is very much alive. A lament, then, but only a brief one — the season is far from over and Linton's batting line-ups have shown time and again that normal service resumes quickly. Next fixture, someone will surely oblige. Pads on, gloves on, and here's hoping for a golden one to report next time. 🦆 Until then — keep watching the scorebook.

Only one of the weekend's three fixtures troubled the Duck Club scorers, but Stockbury CC made absolutely certain of it — a Sunday 2nd XI collapse yielded a full seven ducks in one innings, the kind of haul that fills an honours board in an afternoon. 🏏 Sunday 2nd XI at Stockbury CC — an innings for the ages Jack Gwynn got the rot started at three, bowled by Nick Emery for his 2nd duck of the season and 8th of a career now sitting 134th all-time. He draws level with Carl Davis, who played 1994-2009 and also settled on 8 before eventually bowing out on a Retirement Duck — decent company for a Sunday stroll back to the pavilion. In at four came Christopher Thirkell, run out by Luke Collins for his 2nd of the campaign and 28th for the club, good enough for 40th on the all-time list and membership of both Duck of the Year 2005 and the tantalisingly unfinished Full House nearly-man board, ten of eleven positions conquered. On this very day back in 1998, Richard Piper was also trudging off for nought, en route to 71 career ducks and 6th place all-time. Ray Dixon followed, caught Emery bowled James Newell for his 3rd of the season, taking him to 25 career ducks and 50th all-time — level pegging with Dave Charlton, who needed 219 innings across 1988-2009 to reach the same figure Ray has managed rather more briskly. Luke Welsman, this season's runaway Duck of the Year frontrunner, chalked up a remarkable 7th of the campaign, lbw to Newell, and moves to 11 career ducks, 107th all-time — joining Andrew Moss on the same tally, who took 135 innings across 1968-2008 before himself eventually signing off with a Retirement Duck. Luke already carries the Debutante Duck badge from his very first innings, so today was simply business as usual. Tobey Castle was stumped off Newell for his maiden duck of the season, a tidy 3rd for his career and 270th all-time, drawing level with Daniel McCarthy (2006-2007, 19 innings). Tobey's father David carries 46 career ducks of his own — evidently the family tree bears fruit, or rather, doesn't. At nine, club legend Tim Thirkell added his 2nd duck of the season and a staggering 91st of his career, bowled by Newell, cementing an almost unbelievable 2nd place on the all-time list. Tim's cabinet groans with silverware for scoring nothing — Duck of the Year 1972, Full House, and top-ten places in both Lone Duck and Homebody Duck — and, like Christopher earlier in the order, he too echoes Richard Piper's duck of this day in 1998. Which brings us to the day's rarest ceremony: Christopher and Tim Thirkell falling in the same innings makes this an official Family of Ducks occasion for the wider Thirkell dynasty, whose collective nought-count runs into the hundreds. A shared bloodline, a shared fate, a proud family tradition of walking back early. Rounding things off, Darrell Houghton-Judge was run out by Jack Herklots for his 4th of the season and 7th career duck, 146th all-time, level with Mike Caddick (1993-2009, 127 innings). Darrell too sits on the Full House nearly-man board — so close, yet so agonisingly far. 📊 Week in Summary Seven ducks from a single innings, one thoroughly chastened batting order, and Saturday's two fixtures apparently too well-mannered to join in. James Newell's figures against Linton will make pleasant reading in Stockbury's clubhouse tonight. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Luke Welsman — 22 inns, 7 ducks (31.82%) - Chris Newman — 12 inns, 5 ducks (41.67%) - Jordan Austin — 16 inns, 5 ducks (31.25%) - Martin Harris — 22 inns, 5 ducks (22.73%) - Tim Wright — 30 inns, 5 ducks (16.67%) Luke leads the chase, but Chris Newman's 41.67% strike rate for nought is the number that should worry him most. Next fixture, same risk, same reward — see you at the crease. 🏏0️⃣

Four fixtures, three ducks, and the exclusive zero club welcomes its latest inductees. Modest pickings this week compared to some — but quality over quantity, as ever, in the art of not scoring. 🏏 Sunday 1st XI — v Knockers CC (30 August, home) A curious symmetry at the top of the order here, as Knockers CC bowler D Marsh helped himself to a brace of Linton ducks in successive positions. Jack Gwynn went first, bowled by Marsh at number two for his 1st duck of the season and 7th of an accomplished career from 47 innings — sitting him 148th of 1435 in the all-time reckoning. He now draws level on 7 career ducks with Mike Caddick, who plied his trade for Linton from 1993 to 2006 across 127 innings. Quality, not consistency, clearly the watchword there. One place later, Trevor Back followed him back to the pavilion, also bowled D Marsh, for his own 1st duck of the season — though at Trevor's level that barely moves the needle. It's his 79th career duck from 715 innings, keeping him a mighty 5th in the all-time standings, and a proud shelf-holder of Ducks on the Road top 10, Homebody Duck top 10, Lone Duck top 10, Only Two Quacks with Allan Cooper, and Quacking Together with Jon Harris. Trevor now sits level on 79 with club legend Jim Hall, who racked up the same tally between 1967 and 2008 in 503 innings. Two great eras, one shared number. 🏏 Midweek XI — v The Mote CC (2 September, home) Tim Wright chipped in at number seven, lbw to James Waterson, for his 5th duck of the season and 18th of his career from 266 innings — good enough for 71st all-time. He now stands shoulder to shoulder on 18 with Russell Baldwin, a name from the 1988 to 2006 vintage who reached the same total in 208 innings. Worth noting Tim also has a duck-collecting relative in the family tree, with kin Adam Wright already carrying 6 career noughts of his own — the acorn, evidently, not falling far. 📋 Week in Summary Three ducks from four matches, and a genuine "matching pair" moment at Knockers CC where one bowler claimed two Linton scalps for nought in successive balls of the order — the sort of thing that ought to earn D Marsh an honorary Duck Club tie. Elsewhere, business as usual: the season's serial offenders continue to circle the honours board. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Luke Welsman — 6 ducks from 21 innings, 28.57% - Chris Newman — 5 ducks from 12 innings, 41.67% - Jordan Austin — 5 ducks from 14 innings, 35.71% - Martin Harris — 5 ducks from 21 innings, 23.81% - Tim Wright — 5 ducks from 29 innings, 17.24% Tim Wright's Midweek effort above lands him right on that leaderboard, so keep an eye on the top of the table over the coming weeks. 🍩 That's the lot for this period — quiet by the club's own high standards, but never fear. The next fixture list awaits, and the ducks are, as always, only ever one good ball away. See you at the crease.

Four fixtures, four unlucky souls surrendered to the great nought this weekend, and the Duck Hunting Season leaderboard is getting properly spicy as the campaign winds toward its close. Let's get into it. 🏏 Saturday — Cudham Wyse CC (1st XI, away) Kevin Presneill did the decent thing early doors, walking off first ball for a golden duck at number two — no messing about, straight to the point. His 2nd of the season and 23rd of an increasingly distinguished career from 257 innings, good enough for 57th on the all-time list. He now sits level with Brian Piper, who reached the same 23 across a marathon 1973–2013 career (444 innings — Kevin's getting there quicker). A chip off the old block too, with relative Nat Presneill quietly banking 15 career noughts of his own. 🌱 Sunday — Selling CC (1st XI, away) Not a happy trip to Selling for the top order. Thomas Beeney fell caught off Chris Knight after four balls of defiance, his 1st duck of the season and 33rd career, edging him to 30th all-time. A paid-up Debutante Duck club member and 2014's reigning Duck of the Year, Thomas is also a fixture of the Ducks on the Road top 10 — fittingly, given this one came away from home. His relative Michael Beeney watches on with 38 career ducks of his own. Two batsmen later Chris Newman followed him back, lbw for 2 balls faced — his 5th duck of the season already, and a hefty 36th of his career from 207 innings, 25th all-time. Both Beeney and Newman join the exclusive club on this very calendar date — on this day in 1981, LPCC legend Brian Piper also made a duck, against Old Anchorians CC, the same fixture claiming three ducks in this data set alone. Popular ground for nought-hunters, evidently. 🌱 Sunday — Pett CC (2nd XI, home) And then there's Tim Thirkell. The man is a walking honours board — Duck of the Year 1972, Full House (a duck at every position 1 to 11, a feat of genuinely diabolical range), plus entries in the Homebody, Lone Duck and Ducks on the Road top 10s, and a Quacking Together partnership with Jim Hall for good measure. This one, caught behind, was merely his 1st of the season but his 90th career duck — 3rd on the all-time list, from a staggering 903 innings. The Thirkell name is basically a duck dynasty in its own right: father John also sits on exactly 90, siblings Nigel (60) and Simon (59) aren't far behind, and cousins Daniel, Christopher, Will, Tom and Stuart round out a family tree groaning with noughts. Like the others, Tim's fall echoes Brian Piper's 1981 duck against Old Anchorians CC — quite the popular date in the archives. 📊 Week in Summary Four ducks from four matches — a tidy, unspectacular haul, but Chris Newman's contribution keeps him firmly in the season's title race, while Kevin's golden effort was the weekend's purest work of art. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Luke Welsman — 6 ducks, 18 innings (33.33%) 2. Chris Newman — 5 ducks, 11 innings (45.45%) 3. Jordan Austin — 5 ducks, 13 innings (38.46%) 4. Martin Harris — 5 ducks, 19 innings (26.32%) 5. Tim Wright — 4 ducks, 26 innings (15.38%) Chris Newman's strike rate for nought is genuinely eye-watering — nearly half his innings end this way. Someone give the man a throw-down before next weekend. 🍩 See you all at the next fixture — the ducks are surely circling. 🦆0️⃣

A quiet weekend in the annals of the exclusive zero club, but rarely has one lone entry carried so much weight. Saturday — 2nd XI v Kemsing CC (home) Coming in at six, Luke Welsman departed caught Ian Martin, bowled Roger Shaddock — the sort of dismissal that looks routine in the scorebook and utterly ceremonial in this newsletter. It's his 6th duck of the season and 10th of an increasingly distinguished career, sliding him to 116th of 1,434 in the all-time table. That tally draws him level with Jack Jenner, who played from 2003 to 2008 and also settled on exactly 10 ducks in 53 innings before, rather fittingly, retiring on one himself. Luke isn't retiring anywhere — he's out in front of the current Duck of the Year 2015 race and showing no sign of loosening his grip. A paid-up Debutante Duck club member from his very first knock and a nearly-man on the Full House board, having now ducked from 10 of the 11 batting positions, Luke remains one slot away from completing the set. Position 11 awaits, presumably with menace. Week in summary Five fixtures, and only one side troubled the umpires with a genuine zero — a distinctly vegan weekend for the rest of the club, with ten other line-ups getting off the mark and staying there. Consistency of a very particular kind from Luke to keep the count ticking over while everyone else quietly declines to contribute to the cause. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Luke Welsman — 16 inns, 6 ducks (37.5%) 2. Jordan Austin — 13 inns, 5 ducks (38.46%) 3. Martin Harris — 19 inns, 5 ducks (26.32%) 4. Chris Newman — 9 inns, 4 ducks (44.44%) 5. Tim Wright — 24 inns, 4 ducks (16.67%) Luke sits pretty at the summit, but Jordan and Chris are lurking with the higher strike-rate of failure, and there's a full run of fixtures yet to come. The Duck of the Year 2015 crown is very much still up for grabs. 🍩🏏 See you all next weekend — the ducks never take a week off for long. 0️⃣🦆

Five ducks scattered across four fixtures this week, proof the LPCC order remains devoted to the art of not scoring. Saturday 8th August 1st XI at Horsmonden CC — Lewis Burnham departed for nought at number five, bowled by Khaalid Moothosamy after just two balls of resistance. His 8th career duck from 78 innings sits him 135th of 1434 all time, level with Carl Davis, who reached the same tally in a rather more economical 41 innings between 1994 and 2009. Lewis remains a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck honours board from a past farewell, no danger of that repeating itself just yet. 2nd XI away at Marden CC — Christopher Thirkell fed the family duck pond, lbw to Michael Venner for his first of the season and 27th of a career spanning 150 innings, good enough for 42nd all time. He draws level with kinsman Daniel Thirkell, both parked on exactly 27, the Thirkell name occupying a small honours board of its own. Christopher is a past Duck of the Year from 2005 and a Full House nearly-man, having ducked at ten of the eleven positions across his career. Sunday 9th August Sunday 2nd XI at home to Kings Hill CC — Martin Harris was caught by Marc Kimpton off the bowling of Dave Wardle for his 5th duck of the season, moving to 21 for his career from 99 innings, 64th all time. That draws him level with Dave Todd, who took a rather more leisurely 235 innings to find the same total between 1978 and 2014. Martin shares Duck Club blood with relative Jon Harris, owner of 92 career ducks and the club's undisputed top dog. A former Duck of the Year in 2011, Martin's five ducks this season plant him firmly in this week's top three. Midweek XI — Friday 14th August At home to The Dragons CC, Chris Arnold accounted for both Will Thirkell and Darrell Houghton-Judge, both bowled in the same innings. Will's was his 3rd of the season and 25th of his career from 202 innings, 50th all time, level with Dave Charlton who managed the same across 219 innings between 1988 and 2009, and not the only Thirkell on that number this week — relative Christopher and sibling Daniel both sit on 27 apiece. Darrell's was also his 3rd of the season, his 6th career duck from just 32 innings placing him 158th all time, level with Adam Wright who reached six in 25 innings during a brief 2011–2012 stint. Darrell also holds a Full House nearly-man tag from ten of the eleven positions. The Week in Numbers Five ducks, four matches, and Chris Arnold walking off with a brace at Linton's expense in the same Midweek innings. Two Thirkells among the week's five keeps the family name well represented on the honours boards, even without a shared duck to show for it this time. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Jordan Austin — 5 ducks in 13 innings (38.46%) - Luke Welsman — 5 ducks in 14 innings (35.71%) - Martin Harris — 5 ducks in 17 innings (29.41%) - Chris Newman — 4 ducks in 9 innings (44.44%) - Tim Wright — 4 ducks in 23 innings (17.39%) Jordan, Luke and Martin all locked at five apiece, the tightest Duck of the Year race in years. Next fixture, the hunt continues. Pad up, middle order, the Duck Club is always recruiting. 🦆

Four fixtures, six ducks, and Bearsted CC apparently allergic to letting Linton batsmen trouble the scorers. A tidy little haul to open August. Midweek XI v Bexley CC (Tue) - Martin Harris fell for their 4th duck of the season, caught behind off Samuel Barton at number 9. Career duck number 20 moves them to 66th on the all-time list, and keeps the Duck Club very much a family affair, with kin Jon Harris sitting proudly atop the entire honours board on 92. A Duck of the Year in 2011, Martin can also note that on this very day in 2001, Ron McCormick made a duck too, against Headcorn CC, en route to a modest 8 for their career. Sunday 1st XI v Bearsted CC A rough afternoon at the crease saw three ducks fall in one innings. - Mark Christmas, caught for a four-ball nought, chalked up career duck number 30, level with 1980s stalwart Paul Gibson, who reached the same mark in 515 innings and owns a Platinum Duck for being out first ball of the game back in 1991. Mark's own honours include Duck of the Year 2008. - Chris Newman edged behind for the 4th duck of the season and 35th of their career, now 26th on the all-time list, with kin Clive Newman also carrying 17 career noughts. On this day in 1944, E- Humphreys was doing the same against the splendidly named National Fire Service Overseas Contingent. - Thisal Perera, bowled at number 11, picked up duck number 3 for both season and career alike, a startling return from just 5 innings. They join Daniel McCarthy, who managed the same 3 ducks in 19 innings back in 2006-07. Thisal remains a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from their very first Linton innings. Sunday 2nd XI v Herne CC - Russell Dack made it 2 ducks from just 4 career innings, joining Alan Probert on the same tally. Alan needed only 2 innings to get there in 2008-09, and holds both the Debutante and Retirement Duck honours for the trouble. - Nat Presneill added the 3rd duck of the season and 15th of their career, level with ever-present Ian Hollingworth. Nat's honours board is a crowded one, Duck of the Year 2013 among them, testament to a long and committed relationship with the number 0. A quiet week numerically but a rich one for symmetry, with three of the six duckers finding an exact match on the career-tally leaderboard. Bearsted CC take the trophy for most inhospitable bowling attack of the week. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Jordan Austin — 5 ducks, 13 innings (38.46%) 2. Luke Welsman — 5 ducks, 13 innings (38.46%) 3. Chris Newman — 4 ducks, 8 innings (50.00%) 4. Martin Harris — 4 ducks, 16 innings (25.00%) 5. Tim Wright — 4 ducks, 23 innings (17.39%) Next fixture looms, and the Duck Club always has room for new members. Bat carefully, or don't, we're not fussy. 🦆🍩

A modest but perfectly formed haul this week — three ducks harvested from two fixtures, proof that the art of not scoring never truly rests, even on a quiet weekend. 1st XI — away to Shoreham (Kent) CC Daniel Thirkell held out for two deliveries at first drop before being snapped up, ct George Rivett b James Trick. His 1st duck of the season and the 27th of a long and increasingly distinguished career spanning 436 innings, good enough for 42nd on the all-time list and a fixture of the club's Tourist Duck top 10 — a man who collects his noughts on the road. Rather beautifully, on this very day in 1995 Piers McDonald (1986–2012, 48 ducks, twice Duck of the Year, rank 13) was doing exactly the same thing against Hartley Country Club — some traditions simply refuse to die. And with the Thirkell name already responsible for the better part of 280 combined career ducks across the wider clan — John on 90, Tim on 89, Nigel on 60, Simon on 59, Christopher on 26, Will on 24 — Daniel is very obviously a chip off a well-worn block. 2nd XI — home to Betsham CC Chris Newman departed at five, ct Ian Stickels b Charlie Foord, his 3rd duck of the season and 34th of a storied career, 27th on the all-time roll of honour. That trio of noughts from just six innings vaults him straight to the summit of the current Duck Hunting Season standings on a frankly alarming 50% strike rate. He shares his day in history with Piers McDonald's 1995 effort at Hartley. His father Clive is no stranger to the exclusive zero club either, with 17 career ducks of his own — clearly runs in the family. Darrell Houghton-Judge followed him back not long after, b Steve Whitfield at number eight, his 2nd duck of the season and 5th for the club. He remains agonisingly one position shy of completing the Full House nearly-man honour, having now ducked at 10 of the possible 11 batting slots. He draws level on career ducks with Harry Bee, who reached the same tally of 5 in 31 innings between 2008 and 2012. Three ducks, spread from the top order to the tail — a reminder that the duck respects no batting card. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Luke Welsman — 5 ducks in 12 innings (41.67%) - Jordan Austin — 5 ducks in 13 innings (38.46%) - Tim Wright — 4 ducks in 20 innings (20.0%) - Chris Newman — 3 ducks in 6 innings (50.0%) - Joshua Knowler — 3 ducks in 12 innings (25.0%) Chris Newman's arrival at the top of the table on a coin-flip strike rate should concentrate minds across the club. The zero club never sleeps — see you all next weekend for the inevitable further additions to the honours board. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A quiet weekend for the exclusive zero club, I'm afraid. Four matches played across the club this weekend and, remarkably, not a single soul could be tempted into the Duck Club's embrace. Eleven batters a side, four times over, and every last one of them found their way off the mark. Somewhere out there a collection of bowlers will be feeling very hard done by. It happens. Even the most committed practitioners of the art of not scoring need the odd weekend off, if only to rest up before the next assault on the honours board. Consider it a fallow week in an otherwise proud tradition — the ducks haven't retired, they've merely gone to ground. Small mercies for the bowling attacks who came so close and left with nothing but figures to show for it. The zero club remains open for business, applications reopen next weekend. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏆 🥇 Luke Welsman — 5 ducks / 12 innings (41.67%) 🥈 Jordan Austin — 5 ducks / 13 innings (38.46%) 🥉 Tim Wright — 4 ducks / 19 innings (21.05%) 4️⃣ Joshua Knowler — 3 ducks / 11 innings (27.27%) 5️⃣ Martin Harris — 3 ducks / 13 innings (23.08%) Welsman clings to top spot by the barest of margins over Austin, with the pair level on ducks but Welsman edging it on strike rate for the wrong kind of stat. Wright, Knowler and Harris lurk with intent — one bad afternoon apiece and this leaderboard could look very different. 🍩 See you all next weekend — surely someone's overdue a nought. The bowlers will be back, the umpires' fingers will be twitchier, and the zero club awaits its next inductee. Get your golden duck applications in early. 0️⃣🦆🏏

Thirteen ducks in five matches this week — the exclusive zero club has been doing brisk trade, headlined by Nick Stickels, who claimed four Linton scalps in a single Rolvenden innings. A vintage week for the art of not scoring. Saturday — Away Days - 1st XI at St Lawrence CC: Kevin Presneill battled through three balls before feathering ct Tim Burles b James Porter — his 1st duck of the season, 22nd of a career now level with 1980s/90s stalwart Alan Boyns, who reached the same tally in 218 innings. Sits 61st all time. - 2nd XI at home to Sandhurst: David Castle fell early for his 1st of the season and 46th career, drawing level with Mike Elworthy (1982–2008) on the Tourist Duck top ten. Joe Martin followed for his 1st of the season, 13th overall, joining Rob Jackson (2001–06) — both paid-up members of the Debutante Duck club from duck-on-arrival days long past. Richard Piper, run out for his 3rd of the season, moved to 71 career ducks — 6th on the all-time list and a fully certified Full House member — with Mike Stephens keeping him company on this very date back in 1967. And Luke Welsman opened what would become a grim weekend double, nicking off ct & b Alexander Wenman for his 4th of the season, 8th career, level with Carl Davis (1994–2009). More to follow. Sunday — Wye and Rolvenden - 1st XI hosted Wye CC: Will Thirkell — of THAT Thirkell dynasty, eight relatives sharing over 350 combined career ducks — fell for his 2nd of the season and 24th overall, level with Craig Sands (2002–15). Chris Newman went the same way for his 2nd of the season, 33rd career, echoing Len Conway, who made a duck on this very day back in 1964. Jordan Austin nicked off for his 4th of the season, 13th career — only for worse to come midweek. - 2nd XI away at Rolvenden fell to the Stickels treatment: Tim Wright departed for his 4th of the season, 17th career, level with Adam Jackson (2001–15). Martin Harris, kin to club record-holder Jon Harris (92 career ducks, top of the all-time pile), made it 3 for the season, 19 overall — a paid-up Duck of the Year alumnus from 2011. Darrell Houghton-Judge chipped in his 1st of the season, 4th career, level with Matthew Ward (2011–12), and remains a Full House nearly-man just one position shy of completing the set. And Luke Welsman completed his weekend pair, caught and bowled for his 5th of the season and 9th career — a grim double book-ended by Sandhurst and Rolvenden, and enough to keep his Duck of the Year 2015 credentials very much alive. Midweek — Lord Cornwallis XI - Jordan Austin duly completed his own pair, caught off a-Hill for his 5th duck of the season and 14th career, drawing level with a busy cluster on that number — Glen Rawson, Nat Presneill and 1920s great Frank Sutton among them. The Week in Numbers 13 ducks, 5 matches, 2 grim doubles and not a single golden duck among them — everyone at least troubled the scorers, briefly. Rolvenden's attack will sleep very well indeed. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Jordan Austin — 12 inns, 5 ducks (41.7%) 2. Luke Welsman — 12 inns, 5 ducks (41.7%) 3. Tim Wright — 19 inns, 4 ducks (21.1%) 4. Joshua Knowler — 11 inns, 3 ducks (27.3%) 5. Martin Harris — 12 inns, 3 ducks (25.0%) Austin and Welsman go toe to toe atop the season standings, level on five apiece — who blinks first? Next fixture looms, pads on, bats ready, and no doubt fresh material for the club's most exclusive honours board. See you all out there 🦆🍩0️⃣

A quiet weekend in the Duck Hunting calendar — just the one nought harvested from two fixtures. Sometimes the art of not scoring takes a rest. Saturday 4th July 2nd XI (away at Locksbottom CC) Tim Wright, promoted to number 7, departed stumped by Will Whitton off the bowling of Felix Habgood 🍩 — done in by quick hands behind the stumps rather than raw pace, which somehow feels worse. It's Tim's 3rd duck of the season and the 16th of a long and dedicated career spanning 254 innings, keeping him a very respectable 79th of 1434 in the all-time standings — the exclusive zero club rewards persistence, and Tim has persistence in abundance. He now sits level on 16 with Iain Rawson, who played 2006–2013 and reached the same tally in just 135 innings — proof that some men chase this honour with far greater efficiency than others. Sharp-eyed genealogists among the membership will also note a certain Adam Wright already established on the club's duck rolls with 6 career noughts to his name — evidently a family with a gift for the golden art passed down the generations. 1st XI — no ducks to report. Eleven batsmen, eleven survivors, thoroughly disappointing for connoisseurs of the format. Week in Summary One duck, two matches, and Tim Wright standing entirely alone in claiming it — a rare case of a ducker having the stage entirely to himself. The flock was thin this week, but the season race remains very much alive below. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🏏 - 🥇 Luke Welsman — 3 ducks, 9 innings, 33.33% - 🥈 Jordan Austin — 3 ducks, 10 innings, 30.00% - 🥉 Joshua Knowler — 3 ducks, 10 innings, 30.00% - Tim Wright — 3 ducks, 17 innings, 17.65% - Thisal Perera — 2 ducks, 3 innings, 66.67% Thisal's strike rate for nought remains the most alarming figure in the club, even from third place on raw numbers — a name to watch as the season enters its final stretch. That's your lot for this week, members. The next fixtures await, the bowlers are sharpening up, and there's always room for a fresh name on the honours board. See you at the crease — or, more likely, on the way back from it. 🦆0️⃣

Six fixtures on the go this week, and wouldn't you know it, five of them were suspiciously fowl-free. All eight ducks of the period arrived in one concentrated flurry on Sunday 28th June, as if the whole club's bad luck had been saved up for a single day. 🏏 Sunday 1st XI at Holcombe & Blue Bell Hill CC Jordan Austin fell cheaply at 3, ct Lucas Perry b Tom Day, his 3rd of the season and 12th career duck (76 innings, 97th all-time) — a fixture in both the Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens. He joins Gareth Davies, who played 2003–2013, level on the same dozen. Rob Baldwin then went to work with genuine relish, claiming three of the remaining four wickets for nought. Martin Harris (position 6) recorded his 2nd of the season and 18th career duck in 90 innings, 68th all-time and a Duck of the Year 2011 alumnus — he now sits level with Russell Baldwin (1988–2006) on 18, a pleasing bit of symmetry given who did the damage. Nat Presneill followed for his 2nd of the season, 14th career duck from just 36 innings, 87th all-time, drawing level with Glen Rawson (2005–2015). Nat carries the full set of dubious honours — Debutante Duck, Duck of the Year 2013, Quack-to-Quack and Retirement Duck — a proper club stalwart. Last man Thisal Perera completed Baldwin's treble, his 2nd duck of the season and career, from only 3 innings — already a paid-up Debutante Duck. On this very day in 1975, Phil Hickman also departed for nought, against Tilling Steven. 🏏 Sunday 2nd XI vs New Ifield CC (home) Not to be outdone, Paul Harfield struck twice. Luke Welsman went for his 3rd of the season and 7th career duck (22 innings, 149th all-time), level with Lewis Burnham (2009–2015). Luke sits one position shy of the full set — Full House nearly-man, 10 of 11 — and currently flies the flag in the Duck of the Year 2015 race. Gregory Ralph, caught and bowled by the same man, notched his 1st of the season and 2nd career duck from 3 innings, a Debutante Duck and Retirement Duck member both. Alex Wade (b Robert Walker) opened his season account with a maiden career duck, and Edward Bridle — kin to fellow duck-collector Christopher Bridle — added his own from only 3 innings. Both, like Perera before them, keep Phil Hickman's 1975 company: three different Linton batsmen this week echoing the same historical nought. A proper haunting. 📊 Week in Summary 8 ducks from 6 matches, every single one arriving in the Sunday double-header — Baldwin and Harfield combining for five between them. The other four fixtures passed off entirely duck-free. Consistency of a very particular kind. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Jordan Austin — 9 inns, 3 ducks (33.3%) 2. Luke Welsman — 9 inns, 3 ducks (33.3%) 3. Joshua Knowler — 10 inns, 3 ducks (30.0%) 4. Thisal Perera — 3 inns, 2 ducks (66.7%) 5. Nat Presneill — 5 inns, 2 ducks (40.0%) Next up, more fixtures and no doubt more names for the honours board. The zero club never closes. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A quiet one by Duck Club standards — only the Sunday sides out this week, but they made sure the exclusive zero club still got its dues. Three fresh entries on the ledger from two fixtures, and one repeat customer. Sunday 1st XI v Staplehurst CC - Will Thirkell departed for his 1st duck of the season, caught behind off Daniel Starkey, and moves to 23 career ducks, 58th on the all-time list. He now sits shoulder to shoulder with Brian Piper, whose own 23 arrived across a marathon 444-innings career spanning 1973 to 2013 — consistency of a very particular kind, just spread over four decades rather than one afternoon. Will keeps it in the family too, with Nigel, Daniel and a whole roost of fellow Thirkells already well established in the club's books of noughts. - Luke Welsman went twice worse, caught and bowled by William Sturges for his 2nd duck of the campaign, taking him to 6 career ducks and 166th on the all-time roll. That puts him level with Adam Wright, whose brief 2011–12 stint yielded the same tally in just 25 innings. Luke is a paid-up Debutante Duck club member, one position shy of a Full House, and currently the club's reigning Duck of the Year for 2015 — a title this brace does absolutely nothing to threaten from anyone else. Sunday 2nd XI v Horton Kirby CC - Will Thew fell early, caught off Rod Wickens, for his 1st duck of the season and 21st of his career, good enough for 65th on the all-time table. That puts him level with Dave Todd, who reached 21 across a 235-innings career between 1978 and 2014. Will remains a card-carrying Debutante Duck and a former Duck of the Year back in 2012, so this one is very much a return to old habits. The Week in Brief Three ducks from two matches, Sunday doing all the work while Saturday's sides kept their heads down. Special mention to Luke Welsman for the weekend's only repeat offence — proof that triumph through adversity sometimes just means getting out twice before tea. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏏 - Joshua Knowler — 3 ducks from 10 innings (30%) - Ray Dixon — 2 ducks from 5 innings (40%) - Jordan Austin — 2 ducks from 7 innings (28.57%) - Luke Welsman — 2 ducks from 7 innings (28.57%) - James Piper — 2 ducks from 14 innings (14.29%) Ray Dixon still owns the division's most efficient failure rate, but Luke Welsman has charged himself straight into the top five on the back of this week's double. Next fixture is round the corner — plenty of room left in the club for new members. Bring your bat, leave your runs at home 🍩0️⃣🦆

Eight noughts fell across six matches this week, with one certified golden duck, one bona fide debut and the ledger getting heavier all round. Let's get into it. Saturday 13 June 1st XI (v Marden CC, home) James Piper departed early, caught behind for 2 balls faced — his 2nd duck of the season and 15th of an increasingly distinguished career in 227 innings. That keeps him 80th on the all-time list, level with Ian Hollingworth, who reached the same 15 in just 61 innings across 2004–2015. The Piper name runs deep in the club ledger too, with Brian Piper (23) and brother Richard Piper (70) both long-serving members of the exclusive zero club. 2nd XI (v Kemsing CC, away) A grim double at Kemsing. Chris Newman went lbw for his 32nd career duck (1st of the season), 29th all-time — kin Clive Newman carries 17 of his own. Then Martin Harris, lbw first ball to the same bowler James Walkling, the genuine article, a golden duck — his 17th career nought (1st this season) and a Duck of the Year 2011 alumnus, level with Adam Jackson (2001–2015, 17 from 132). Martin also keeps company with club royalty at home — relative Jon Harris still sits top of the all-time list on 92. Sunday 14 June Sunday 2nd XI (v High Halstow CC, away) Three ducks on the road. Leo Hodges opened his senior account in the cruellest way — a first-baller on debut, instant induction into the Debutante Duck honours, drawing level on career tally with -Howard from 2006. Jacob Ryan followed for his 2nd career duck from just 2 innings, a flawless 100% record so far, joining Alan Probert (2008–09) on the same total. Michael Beeney rounded things off caught down the order for his 38th career duck (1st of the season), 24th all-time, a Diamond Duck (2002) and Only Two Quacks veteran — kin Thomas Beeney has 32 to his name. Beeney's fall also echoes 1970, when Mick Filmer made a duck on this very day against Bobbing Court CC. Sunday NVKC (v Sibton Park CC, home) Jordan Austin fell caught for his 2nd duck of the season, 11th career (106th all-time), level with Andrew Moss (1968–2008, 11 from 135). A Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top-10 fixture, with siblings Benjamin (6) and Mark Austin (1) also on the honours roll — and he's currently tied for 3rd in this season's hunt. Matthew Carter joined him, caught for his 32nd career duck, 30th all-time and a Duck of the Year 2004 alumnus, also matching Mick Filmer's 1970 effort. Week in Summary Eight ducks, six matches, one golden duck to savour and a new Debutante inducted in Leo Hodges. Kemsing and High Halstow both proved happy hunting grounds for the opposition — three ducks apiece across the two fixtures. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏆 1. Joshua Knowler — 3 ducks / 9 innings (33.3%) 2. Ray Dixon — 2 ducks / 5 innings (40%) 3. Jordan Austin — 2 ducks / 6 innings (33.3%) 4. James Piper — 2 ducks / 13 innings (15.4%) 5. Tim Wright — 2 ducks / 13 innings (15.4%) Next weekend brings fresh opportunity for glory-through-failure. Who's adding their name to the club this time? 🍩🏏

Three matches, one nought to show for it — the ducks mostly evaded the net this weekend, but they didn't get away entirely... 🏏 Sunday 1st XI — away to Bredgar CC Benjamin Austin, batting at 4, was bowled by Harry Wood to claim the weekend's only duck. It's his 1st of the 2015 season and the 6th of his career from 22 innings, good enough for 155th on the all-time list of 1431 — the exclusive zero club never turns anyone away. Benjamin is already a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck honours board, having ducked on his very first LPCC innings some years back, so this is simply him topping up a well-established collection. He now draws level on career ducks with Adam Wright, who reached his own 6th nought in 25 innings during a brief but memorable 2011–2012 stint, and who later secured a place in the Retirement Duck club by bowing out on a duck himself. Keep it in the family, Benjamin — sibling Jordan Austin already has 10 career ducks banked, and father Mark isn't far behind on 1, so the Austin name is well represented on the honours board. 🦆 Week in Summary Just a single scalp from three fixtures this week, claimed by the Austins' newest contributor to the cause. Consistency of a very particular kind was in short supply — but the season is long, and complacency is exactly how these things happen. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Joshua Knowler — 3 ducks / 7 innings (43%) - Ray Dixon — 2 ducks / 4 innings (50%) - Richard Piper — 2 ducks / 11 innings (18%) - Tim Wright — 2 ducks / 11 innings (18%) - Benjamin Austin — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) Ray Dixon's strike rate remains formidable, and Benjamin arrives in the top five this week with a flawless 100% record — triumph through adversity, as ever. 🏏 Roll on the next fixture — the crease awaits, and so does the honours board. Who's adding their name next?

Two fixtures on Saturday the 30th did the damage this week, with three names added to the ever-lengthening scroll of shame. Sunday's card, by contrast, passed off disappointingly duck-free — more of that below. 🏏 Saturday 30th — Four Elms CC (away) The 1st XI's trip to Four Elms yielded a couple of quick additions to the club's dubious honours reel. Adam Jackson opened his account for the season, caught and bowled by Justin Sharp, for his 1st duck of 2015 and 17th of an increasingly consistent career from 130 innings — rank 70 of 1431 in the all-time table. He now sits shoulder to shoulder with Clive Newman, who ground out the same tally of 17 across a rather more sedate 371 innings between 1992 and 2012. Efficiency, evidently, is relative. Keep an eye on brother Rob Jackson too, quietly amassing 13 career ducks of his own — the art of not scoring may run in the blood. Further down the order, Joshua Knowler fell for his 3rd duck of the season already, bowled by Ollie Hills, and his 21st in a 136-innings career — 62nd on the all-time list. That draws him level with Dave Todd, who took 235 innings between 1978 and 2014 to reach the same total, making Joshua's effort look positively brisk by comparison. Joshua arrives at Linton with previous: a Duck of the Year winner back in 2010, and a paid-up member of this season's Diamond Duck club for a dismissal without troubling the scorers at all. He also carries the rare distinction of once being "Quacked by Kin", dismissed by his own relative Andrew Knowler in 2010 — a family affair in the truest sense, with father-figure Richard Knowler himself no slouch on 10 career ducks. 🏏 Saturday 30th — Bearsted CC (home) The 2nd XI's home tie with Bearsted produced the day's most decorated departure. Opener Richard Piper fell lbw to Alex Lush for his 2nd duck of the season and a mighty 70th of his career from 611 innings — a rarefied 6th on the all-time list. Richard's honours board reads like a testimonial dinner menu: Duck of the Year 2003, a Ducks on the Road top-10 regular, Homebody Duck top-10 regular, Lone Duck top-10 regular, and — the connoisseur's choice — a Full House, having now made a duck in every position from 1 to 11. On this very day back in 1993, Paul Gibson was doing much the same against Underriver CC, en route to his own 30 career ducks. The Piper name runs deep in these parts too, with father Brian Piper on 23 career ducks and brother James Piper on 14 — a proper duck dynasty in the making. 🌱 Sunday 31st — Quiet on the Water Sunday's fixture passed without a single addition to the tally. The ducks, it seems, took the day off — or simply proved too elusive for the bowlers on offer. No complaints from the batting order, unusually. 📊 Week in Summary Three matches, three ducks, all condensed into a single afternoon on the 30th — Sunday's fixture kept its powder dry. A tidy weekend's work all told, and with Joshua Knowler already up to three for the season, the race for Duck of the Year 2015 is very much alive. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Joshua Knowler — 3 ducks / 6 innings (50%) 2. Ray Dixon — 2 ducks / 4 innings (50%) 3. Richard Piper — 2 ducks / 9 innings (22.22%) 4. Tim Wright — 2 ducks / 9 innings (22.22%) 5. Bradley Howard — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) Bradley Howard's flawless record deserves a special mention — one innings, one duck, nowhere to go but down. 🍩 Next weekend beckons, and with it, fresh opportunity for the order to find new and inventive ways to depart for nought. The exclusive zero club never closes its books — see you out there.

Two fixtures, two counties, and the exclusive zero club took in three new subscriptions and one repeat offender this weekend. The art of not scoring remains alive and well at Linton Park. Saturday — 2nd XI at Betsham CC Tim Wright departed caught Karl Harris, bowled Gary Withero, for his 2nd duck of the season and 15th of an increasingly distinguished LPCC career, now 245 innings deep. That tally sits him 82nd of 1431 in the all-time standings and draws him level with Ian Hollingworth, who played 2004–2015 and reached the same 15 in a rather more economical 60 innings — consistency of a very particular kind either way. Tim isn't alone in the family ledger either, with kin Adam Wright quietly banking 6 career noughts of his own. Sunday — 1st XI at Benenden CC A double induction for the Debutante Duck honours board. Lucas Sheppard, in at 3, was bowled by Rob Ward for nought on his very first senior appearance — triumph through adversity will have to wait. Fittingly, on this same calendar day back in 1987, Martin Thompson (1975–1987) also strolled back for a duck, against John Fisher Old Boys, en route to 10 for his career. Not to be outdone, Bradley Howard fell at number 9, bowled Neal Metcalf, also on debut — a matching blank to go with Lucas's. He too shares the day with Thompson's 1987 effort, proof that whatever the calendar, someone at Linton is usually walking off for nought. Sunday — 2nd XI v Stowting CC Riley Butler was trapped lbw by Alan Harrison at 5, opening his personal duck account with his 1st career nought from just 3 innings. Another name to keep alongside Thompson on this quietly cursed date in May. Week in summary Four matches, four ducks, and a full house of newcomers at Benenden — two debuts, two blanks, no half-measures. The zero club welcomes its latest recruits with open (feathery) arms. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 - Ray Dixon — 2 ducks in 4 innings (50%) - Joshua Knowler — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40%) - Tim Wright — 2 ducks in 8 innings (25%) - Bradley Howard — 1 duck in 1 innings (100%) - Lucas Sheppard — 1 duck in 1 innings (100%) Next fixture looms, and with it, no doubt, further additions to the honours board. The ducks never take a weekend off — see you all pitchside. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A modest but perfectly formed weekend for the exclusive zero club: seven ducks laid across three fixtures, the art of not scoring alive and well. Saturday — 1st XI at Southborough CC - Luke Welsman, batting at 11 with the match all but gone, was bowled by Robert Hood for his 1st duck of the season and 5th of a career now 14 innings long — rank 180 of 1426 all time. He joins Benjamin Austin (2011–2014, 21 innings) on the same tally, and with Duck of the Year 2015 already on his honours board, Luke's early-season form is doing exactly what it says on the tin. One position shy of the full set too — a Full House nearly-man. Saturday — 2nd XI v Outwood CC (home) - Jamie Ratcliffe (b Dave Freeman) posted his 10th career duck in 60 innings, level with Jack Jenner (2003–2008, 53 innings) — rank 114 of 1426. A 2009 Duck of the Year, and sibling Paul Ratcliffe keeps 4 career noughts in the family. - Nat Presneill (ct Greenhalgh b Hiscocks) reached 13 career ducks from just 32 innings, drawing level with Rob Jackson (2001–2006) — rank 89. A paid-up member of the rare Quack-to-Quack club and a former Duck of the Year (2013), Nat keeps distinguished company. Parent Kevin isn't far behind on 21. - Russell Dack made his LPCC debut and marked it the traditional way — ct Hiscocks b Al Knight without troubling the scorers, a Debutante Duck straight off the bat. History shows "- Howard" (2006) opened his own account the very same way, one duck and done, rank 381. Sunday — 1st XI at Tyler Hill CC Karl Sutcliffe did some quietly excellent work in the field here. - Glen Rawson (ct Rowlands b Marshall, 11 balls) fell for his 14th career duck in 236 innings — rank 84. On this very day in 1953, Stan Wratten also made a duck, against Mote A. - Tim Wright wasn't so lucky — run out by Sutcliffe first ball faced, a golden duck, his 14th in 243 innings, level with Glen. Same fixture, same fielder, same 1953 echo from Stan Wratten. - Joshua Knowler completed the pair of run-outs, gone without facing a delivery — a textbook Diamond Duck. His 20th career duck in 134 innings joins Will Thew (2009–2014, 141 innings) at rank 65. It's his 2nd of the season already, and with Duck of the Year 2010 and a Quacked by Kin honour already banked, Joshua remains one of the club's great repeat offenders. Week in brief Seven ducks, three matches, and Tyler Hill's Karl Sutcliffe personally accounting for two run-outs in the same innings. No pairs, no family affairs this time round — just honest, individual failure, freely given. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Ray Dixon — 2 ducks/3 inns (66.7%) 2. Joshua Knowler — 2 ducks/4 inns (50.0%) 3. Jamie Ratcliffe — 1/1 (100%) 3. Luke Welsman — 1/1 (100%) 3. Nalaka Perera — 1/1 (100%) Next fixture awaits, and the zero club never closes its books. See you at the crease — or, more likely, on the walk back. 🍩🏏

Saturday delivered a rare and faintly disappointing thing: a clean sheet. Not a nought to be found anywhere on the ground — the Duck Club's scouts returned home empty-handed and mildly embarrassed about it. Sunday put that right at Beckenham CC, where the exclusive zero club welcomed two fresh — well, not so fresh, these are old hands — inductees for the week. Sunday 1st XI v Beckenham CC Richard Piper strode in at four and departed for a golden-adjacent four balls faced, caught Glynn Gunning bowled Ross Piller. It's his first duck of the season but his 69th career specimen, a tally that plants him at a rarefied 6th of 1425 in the all-time standings — Full House and Homebody/Lone Duck top-ten honours already bolted to his name, alongside a Duck of the Year gong from 2003. Consistency of a very particular kind. On this very day in 1958, LPCC great John Thirkell — the club's own duck emperor with 90 to his name — was also walking back for nought, so Richard keeps distinguished calendar company. And for those tracking bloodlines, the noughts run in the family: parent Brian Piper (23 career ducks) and sibling James Piper (14) are both paid-up members in their own right. Jordan Austin followed at six and lasted just two balls before being bowled by James Jones — brisk, brutal, and his first of the season. It's career duck number 10 from 68 innings, ranking him 114th of 1425, with Homebody and Lone Duck top-ten billing to his credit. He now sits shoulder to shoulder on that exact tally with Jack Jenner, who played 2003–2008 and reached his own 10th in just 53 innings before bowing out — fittingly — on a duck himself. Another poultry-inclined household too, with sibling Benjamin Austin (5) and parent Mark Austin (1) both keeping him company on the honours board. Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks, both arriving in the same innings at Beckenham — proof that when the Duck Club strikes, it prefers to travel in pairs. Saturday's clean sheet was the outlier; normal service resumed handsomely on Sunday. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Ray Dixon — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100% - Jordan Austin — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Nalaka Perera — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Thisal Perera — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Joshua Knowler — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% Four names locked at a flawless 100% early doors — the art of not scoring is alive and well this season. Plenty of cricket left for someone to break away. Next fixture looms, and with it, the inevitable fresh additions to the honours board. The Duck Club never sleeps. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Early doors for the 2015 campaign, but the exclusive zero club wasted no time recruiting new members. Five ducks fell across three matches this weekend, and Offham CC did the lion's share of the damage to Linton Park pride. Saturday 2 May 1st XI at Bidborough CC Opening the batting and opening the club's account for the weekend, James Piper departed early, bowled by Dale Hillhouse. His 1st duck of the season and 14th of a growing career, good for 84th of 1425 on the all-time list. On this very day back in 1959, Frank Brattle was doing much the same against Bearsted CC on his way to 38 career ducks and 23rd all-time — distinguished, if scoreless, company. Keeping it in the family, sibling Richard Piper carries 68 career noughts of his own. 2nd XI at home to Offham CC A day for pure ceremony at home. Debutants Nalaka Perera (ct Willis b Gittings, 4 balls faced) and Thisal Perera (st Ardley b Robertshaw, 9 balls faced) both marked their first-ever senior innings with a blob apiece — a rare double induction into the Debutante Duck club, in the very same afternoon. And here's the real headline: Nalaka and Thisal are parent and child, and both walked back for nought in the same match — a Duck and Ducklings double, the rarest ceremony the club has to offer. Fittingly, on this very date in 1959 Frank Brattle was also making a duck against Bearsted CC — the Pereras keep him company, one family doing the work of two. Joshua Knowler also fell, caught behind off Jamie Powell after facing three balls — his 1st duck of the season and 19th of his career, 65th all-time. Joshua already has a 2015 Diamond Duck to his name from elsewhere this season, out without facing a ball, was Duck of the Year back in 2010, and was Quacked by Kin that same year courtesy of Andrew Knowler. The Knowler bloodline runs deep here, with Richard Knowler good for 10 career ducks of his own. Like Piper, he shares this date in 1959 with Frank Brattle's duck against Bearsted CC. Monday 4 May Midweek XI at Selsdon CC Ray Dixon fell bowled by David Shivmangal for his 2nd duck of the season already, taking him to 24 career ducks from 89 innings, 52nd all-time. He draws level with Craig Sands, still going strong on the same 24 from a marathon 414 innings between 2002 and 2015. Ray also carries Duck of the Year honours from 2007. Week in summary 5 ducks, 3 matches, and a genuine rarity in the Offham family double. Two new names welcomed into the Debutante Duck club in a single afternoon — not a bad way to start a Linton career. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏏 - Ray Dixon — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100% - Nalaka Perera — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Thisal Perera — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Joshua Knowler — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% - James Piper — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33% Plenty of season left for this lot to be overtaken. Next fixture, same invitation stands: bat first, worry later. See you at the crease 🦆🍩0️⃣

Welcome to the opening dispatch of the 2015 Duck Hunting season. Two fixtures went to the middle this weekend and, on the whole, bat met ball rather more successfully than the club's Zero enthusiasts might have hoped. Only one nought found its way onto the board — but it was a nought delivered by a proper club stalwart, so quality over quantity. 🏏 Sunday 1st XI — Brasted & Sundridge CC Ray Dixon, batting at five, departed caught and bowled by Tom Holman — a tidy, no-frills dismissal that will nonetheless go down as this season's opening entry in the Duck Club ledger. It's Ray's 1st duck of the fledgling 2015 campaign, and it nudges his career tally to 23, good enough for 56th in the all-time standings out of 1,423 names on the list — a place of genuinely dubious distinction. That 23 puts Ray level with Brian Piper, the long-serving name who racked up his 23 across a marathon 1973–2013 career and 444 innings — proof, if any were needed, that the art of not scoring rewards patience as much as impatience. Ray reaches the same number in a rather brisker 88 innings, so whatever else this says about him, inefficiency isn't it. Ray also carries a Duck of the Year 2007 honour on his personal board — a reminder that this is a repeat offender of the highest calibre, not a nervous newcomer finding his feet in the exclusive zero club. 📊 Week in Summary Two matches, one duck. A quiet weekend by Duck Club standards — the ducks, it seems, mostly evaded capture, content to let Ray carry the flag alone. Consistency of a very particular kind, though: with the season only just underway, one duck from one man is enough to plant a flag at the top of the table by simple virtue of being first past the post. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard — Top 5 1. Ray Dixon — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% An early and emphatic lead, doubtless one that won't survive first contact with the rest of the club's more prolific practitioners of the golden art. Plenty of season left for challengers to emerge — and for Ray to either extend his grip on top spot or watch it evaporate as quickly as it arrived. 🦆 Same time next fixture, ducklings — the season is young, the wickets are ripe, and somewhere out there a batsman is already shouldering arms to one destined for the history books. We watch. We wait. We celebrate.