🦆 The Duck Pond

Three fixtures out on the paddock this weekend and, remarkably, the ducks mostly gave Linton Park a wide berth. Only one soul found his way into the exclusive zero club — but he made it count. 🏏 2nd XI v Elliotts CC (home, 22 Sept) Step forward Richard Ellis, who came to the crease at four and departed shortly after, caught and bowled by Alan Ricketts for a nought that will be filed, catalogued and quietly celebrated. It's his 1st duck of the 2001 campaign but by no means his first rodeo — this is career duck number 17 from 87 innings, good enough for 55th of 1272 in the all-time roll of dishonour. A paid-up member of the Debutante Duck society (his very first senior innings, some years back now, was also a blob) and a card-carrying Quack-to-Quack honouree besides — proof that consistency, in this club, comes in more than one flavour. Neat historical footnote: on this very day back in 1977, club immortal John Thirkell — he of 90 career ducks, still unchallenged at #1 of 1272 — also trudged off for nought, against West Kent Wanderers CC no less. Some traditions span the generations. 📅 Elsewhere The other two fixtures this weekend were disappointingly duck-free affairs — bat met ball, runs were scored, and not a single naught troubled the honours board. The Duck Club will take Richard's contribution gratefully and hope for a more generous harvest next time out. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard — 2001 1. Luke Wallond — 3 ducks / 7 innings (42.86%) 2. Simon Thirkell — 6 ducks / 15 innings (40.00%) 3. Adam Pooley — 6 ducks / 16 innings (37.50%) 4. Tim Thirkell — 4 ducks / 21 innings (19.05%) 5. Stuart Cheesman — 4 ducks / 43 innings (9.30%) Luke Wallond leads on strike rate but the chasing pack are all in the hunt as the season enters its final stretch. Plenty of time yet for someone to make a late charge for the crown. Next fixture, fresh victims. Pads on, guard taken, destiny awaits. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A quiet weekend by Duck Club standards — just two additions to the ledger — but quality over quantity, and both carry some proper pedigree. Saturday 15 September 2nd XI v Borden CC Rob Jackson departed caught and bowled by David Hollands at number six, chalking up his 2nd duck of the season and, rather alarmingly, his 2nd career duck from only 3 innings — an eye-watering strike rate for the exclusive zero club this early in one's Linton life. Rob is already a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck board, having opened his senior account with a nought some time back, so this latest effort is very much a man returning to old habits rather than breaking new ground. He sits 302nd of 1272 in the all-time list. On this day in 1982, Trevor Hales (1981–1989) also strolled back for nought, against The Mote CC — kindred spirits across the decades. Sunday 16 September 1st XI v Northend Sunday Adam Pooley, promoted to first drop, was bowled by W. Holmes for his 6th duck of the season — and his 20th career nought from 78 innings, lifting him to 49th of 1272 all time. Adam carries genuine Duck Club aristocracy on his CV: a member of the Only Two Quacks fraternity twice over — once alongside Fred Cheesman, once alongside Paul Bowles — and a standing name on the Retirement Duck board from a past farewell innings. Today's effort also draws him level on 6 ducks for the season with Simon Thirkell atop the current Duck Hunting Season charts, though Simon still leads on percentage. The chase for Duck of the Year 2001 tightens. On this day in 1962, Richard Ashby (1962–1995) also made a duck, against Staplehurst CC — proof that mid-September has always been unkind to LPCC batting. 📊 Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks, one from each end of the Linton order — a top-four man and a middle-order debut-adjacent quacker. Modest numbers, but the season race stays very much alive. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Simon Thirkell — 6 ducks / 15 inn (40.0%) 2. Adam Pooley — 6 ducks / 16 inn (37.5%) 3. Tim Thirkell — 4 ducks / 20 inn (20.0%) 4. Stuart Cheesman — 4 ducks / 42 inn (9.52%) 5. Luke Wallond — 3 ducks / 7 inn (42.86%) Simon Thirkell clings to top spot, but Adam Pooley's Sunday effort has him breathing down his neck. With the season drawing in, there's still time for one more push toward glory — or ignominy, depending on your view. Next fixture, the Duck Club's scouts will be watching every top edge and leading edge with keen interest. Bring your bat, or don't bother — either way, we'll be here to record it. 🦆🍩

Five fresh entries for the exclusive zero club this week, headlined by a rare full-family production at West Farleigh and a determined double from the ever-reliable Trevor Back. The 2001 season race for the dubious crown continues to tighten nicely. 🏏 Saturday 8th September — 2nd XI at West Farleigh CC A proper cluster on the road for the 2nd XI, three ducks in a single innings and one of them a genuine club ceremony. Simon Thirkell fell lbw to Mark Meyrick for his 6th duck of the season and 43rd of an illustrious career spanning 189 innings, good enough for 14th on the all-time list. He's already got 1983 and 2001 Duck of the Year honours to his name, sits proudly on the "50 Before a 50" board, and features among the club's great travelling quackers — on this day back in 1981, Richard Ashby (1962–1995, 28 career ducks) was doing exactly the same thing against Paul CC. Trevor Back edged behind for his 1st of the season, caught Terry Baines off John Smith, and moved to 56 career ducks, 6th on the all-time list and closing in on the very top table. Still a proud member of the Homebody, Lone Duck and Ducks on the Road top tens, and a fixture of the Only Two Quacks and Quacking Together honour boards. Same 1981 vintage as Simon above, Richard Ashby keeping him company from the archives. But the headline act was further down the order. Christopher Thirkell, caught David Crouch off Adrian Davies, brought up his 3rd of the season and 5th career duck in just 21 innings, and in doing so joined his own father Simon on the scoresheet for a textbook Duck and Ducklings double, Linton's rarest and most treasured ceremony. Two Thirkells, one innings, nought between them. Christopher also lingers agonisingly on the Full House nearly-man board, one position shy of the full set. Richard Ashby, 1981, obliges again for the parallel. 🌙 Wednesday 12th September — Midweek XI vs Lord Cornwallis XI Trevor Back was back for more, lbw to Julian Wilson this time, completing a grim pair for the week and moving to 2 for the season and 57 for his career. On this day in 1959, S Lusher (1959–1960, a single lonely career duck) was suffering the same fate against Bowaters CC. Alongside him, Tim Thirkell, brother to Saturday's Simon, departed caught behind off Julian Wilson too, his 4th of the season and 72nd of a mighty career across 738 innings, 4th on the all-time chart and a Duck of the Year 1972 alumnus with the rare Full House board, a duck at every position, to his name. Same 1959 company as Trevor, S Lusher keeping the archives ticking over. 📊 Week in Brief Five ducks in four matches, three of them arriving in one glorious West Farleigh innings. Trevor Back top of the workload with two, and the Thirkell name appearing on four of the five dismissals, a family clearly building its own wing of the honours board. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard (2001) 1. Simon Thirkell — 6 ducks, 15 innings (40.0%) 2. Adam Pooley — 5 ducks, 15 innings (33.3%) 3. Tim Thirkell — 4 ducks, 20 innings (20.0%) 4. Stuart Cheesman — 4 ducks, 40 innings (10.0%) 5. Luke Wallond — 3 ducks, 7 innings (42.9%) Simon leads the pack, but with Tim closing and the Thirkell dynasty in irrepressible form, this season's crown is very much a family affair. Roll on the next fixture, the ducks are surely circling. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A quiet one this week, Duck Club faithful. One solitary fixture on the books for the period and, remarkably, not a single nought to show for it. Every batsman who walked to the crease on 1st September walked back having troubled the scorers at least once. The zero club stood at the gate all afternoon and nobody turned up to join. Rare, and frankly a little suspicious. The art of not scoring is not easily mastered and it seems nobody fancied the lesson this week — but as any seasoned member of the club will tell you, the ducks are never gone for good. They are simply biding their time, waiting for a rash shot, a good yorker, or an unplayable bit of umpiring to bring the next candidate into the fold. So no honours board entries, no milestones, no father-and-son near misses to report. Just a rare weekend of universal competence. Make the most of it. 🍩 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🍩 1️⃣ Simon Thirkell — 5 ducks in 14 innings (35.71%) 2️⃣ Adam Pooley — 5 ducks in 15 innings (33.33%) 3️⃣ Stuart Cheesman — 4 ducks in 38 innings (10.53%) 4️⃣ Luke Wallond — 3 ducks in 7 innings (42.86%) — the division leader on pure percentage, and not a title to be proud of 5️⃣ Tim Thirkell — 3 ducks in 18 innings (16.67%) Luke Wallond's 42.86% remains the most alarming number in the division — the kind of consistency that gets you noticed for all the wrong reasons. Simon Thirkell and Adam Pooley sit level at the summit on 5 apiece, and with the season not yet done there's ample time for one of them to pull clear — or for a fresh face to come steaming through on the rails. 🏏 Onwards to the next fixture. The ducks evaded capture this week, but the traps are set and the club awaits its next inductees with open arms and a suitably solemn round of applause. 0️⃣🦆

Six matches went by on this touring week and the ducks proved remarkably elusive — just two additions to the rolls, both courtesy of the touring party itself. Quality, evidently, over quantity. 🏏 Tour XI Away at Paul CC on the 28th, opener Stuart Cheesman departed for nought, caught and bowled by T. Mahmood — his 4th duck of the season and 33rd of his career, a tally that now sits him a lofty 25th of 1269 in the all-time standings. Stuart is a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club (his very first Linton innings, some years back, was itself a blob), a two-time Duck of the Year (1994 and 1996), and holder of the rare Full House honour — a duck at every position from 1 to 11, a curious sort of completeness. On this very calendar day back in 1996, Daniel Thirkell (1993–2001, 16 ducks, 56th all-time) was making his own nought against 1st Innings Mullion — the ledger, it seems, has a long memory. Ducking clearly runs in the blood too, with father Fred sat on 36 career ducks and brother Steve on 13. Three days later, away at Mullion CC, Adam Pooley was bowled by David Fowles without troubling the scorer — his 5th duck of the season and 19th of his career, good for 51st of 1269 all-time. Adam already features twice on the Only Two Quacks board, paired with Fred Cheesman and with the legendary Paul Bowles, and carries the standing Retirement Duck honour from a past farewell innings. On this same day in 1980, Allan Cooper (1971–1989, 38 ducks, 16th all-time, himself a three-time Only Two Quacks honouree) was going through precisely the same ritual at Staplehurst. 📊 Week in Summary Just two ducks from six matches — a quiet one by Linton's exacting standards. But Adam Pooley's fifth of the campaign draws him level at the summit of this year's Duck Hunting Season charts, setting up a proper scrap for the crown. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Simon Thirkell — 5 ducks / 14 inns (35.71%) 2. Adam Pooley — 5 ducks / 15 inns (33.33%) 3. Stuart Cheesman — 4 ducks / 38 inns (10.53%) 4. Luke Wallond — 3 ducks / 7 inns (42.86%) 5. Tim Thirkell — 3 ducks / 18 inns (16.67%) 📅 Looking Ahead A lean week for the exclusive zero club, but the season's far from settled — with Simon and Adam neck and neck, next weekend's fixtures could crown a new leader in the art of not scoring. We watch. We wait. We celebrate. 🦆

Two fixtures on the go this weekend and, for once, the ducks mostly stayed in hiding — only one made it onto the books. A quiet weekend for the exclusive zero club, but a quality entry nonetheless. 1st XI v Meopham CC Dave Charlton was the sole representative, bowled by Adam Roxburgh at number six. It's his 1st duck of the season and his 23rd for the club overall — a tally built across 204 innings that now sits him at a very respectable 42nd of 1269 on the all-time leaderboard. Consistency of a very particular kind. Neatly, the calendar obliged: on this very day back in 1963, club great John Thirkell — who played from 1943 to 1977, still sits top of the all-time pile with a staggering 90 ducks, and picked up Duck of the Year no fewer than five times — was also dismissed for nought, against The Mote CC of all sides. Dave's in fine historical company. He's not alone in the family either — sibling Sean Charlton carries 4 career ducks of his own, so the art of not scoring evidently runs in the blood. The other fixture came and went without troubling the scorers in the wrong direction — every batsman got off the mark, much to the Duck Club's mild disappointment. Week in Summary 1 duck from 2 matches. Not exactly a vintage haul, but Dave's kept the flag flying and the season's tally ticking over. The hunting season, however, remains very much alive elsewhere in the club. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🥇🍩 - Simon Thirkell — 5 ducks / 13 innings (38.46%) - Adam Pooley — 4 ducks / 14 innings (28.57%) - Luke Wallond — 3 ducks / 7 innings (42.86%) - Tim Thirkell — 3 ducks / 14 innings (21.43%) - Stuart Cheesman — 3 ducks / 33 innings (9.09%) Simon Thirkell holds a commanding lead, though with a strike rate for failure like Luke Wallond's 42.86%, nobody at the top of this table should get comfortable. Next fixture looms, and with it the inevitable fresh crop of noughts. Get your bats out, gentlemen — the zero club is always recruiting. 0️⃣🏏🦆

A quiet week in the Duck Hunting fields, but no week is ever entirely fowl-free at Linton Park. Four ducks fell across five fixtures, spread thin but each with a story worth telling. 1st XI Shipbourne away brought us the week's opening pair. Daniel Thirkell was run out for nought — the Thirkell name barely needs an introduction on the honours board, and this is his 16th career duck from 196 innings, planting him 56th of 1269 all-time and a paid-up member of the Tourist Duck top 10. He now sits level with 1978-2001 stalwart Dave Todd, also on 16 from 213 innings — a fine bit of company to draw level with, if company on a duck can ever be called fine. And on this very day back in 1981, Trevor Hales was doing exactly the same thing against West Moors — some traditions simply refuse to die. Also run out for nought at Shipbourne was Kevin Presneill, opening his club account in only his 3rd innings. A tidy little tally of 1 apiece with the briefly-remembered "- Copeland", who played precisely one innings in 1979 and made it count for nothing — Copeland's whole career is enshrined in the One and Done board, so Kevin has some way to go before matching that particular brand of commitment. Over at Westgate-on-Sea, Mike Redman was trapped lbw by Tom Hammond for his 2nd duck of the season and 2nd of his career from just 12 innings — the ink still drying on this one. On this day in 1970 the great Mike Iliffe was also nodding a weary walk back against Gravesend, en route to a career 43 ducks and 13th on the all-time list. Redman has a way to go, but every great career of not scoring starts somewhere. Midweek XI The Mote CC away saw Richard Piper lbw'd by Tom Parsons — his 2nd of the season and a very substantial 25th of his career from 145 innings, good enough for 38th all-time and membership of no fewer than four honours boards: Ducks on the Road, Full House, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top 10s. A genuine club institution in the art of not scoring. Fittingly, on this very day in 1964 the legendary John Thirkell — Linton's all-time duck king with 90 to his name — was also making his way back against Bowaters CC. Good company, if you can call it that. Week in Summary Four ducks, five matches, no pairs, no family affairs this time round — just honest, workmanlike failure spread across the club. The 1st XI contributed three of the four, with the Midweek XI chipping in one of genuine pedigree. Steady as she goes. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Simon Thirkell — 5 ducks, 13 innings (38.46%) 2. Adam Pooley — 4 ducks, 14 innings (28.57%) 3. Luke Wallond — 3 ducks, 7 innings (42.86%) 4. Tim Thirkell — 3 ducks, 13 innings (23.08%) 5. Stuart Cheesman — 3 ducks, 32 innings (9.38%) Luke Wallond's 42.86% strike rate for nought remains the one to watch — can anyone catch him before season's end? Get down to the next fixture and find out. The zero club never sleeps. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A modest but perfectly formed haul this week: four ducks across three matches, proof that the art of not scoring remains alive and well at Linton Park. Saturday 4th August — Headcorn CC The exclusive zero club welcomed two new entries at Headcorn. Russell Baldwin, promoted to first drop, was trapped lbw by Mike Donnelly for his first duck of the season and 4th of an increasingly dubious career, moving to 59 innings and 167th in the all-time list. On this day in 1976, Robert Chance made a duck against Sennocke CC on his way to 8 for the club (1964-1978) — Russell keeps him company down the years. Down at number seven, Ron McCormick followed him back, caught behind off R- Dickinson. It's his maiden duck for the club in 71 innings — 547th on the all-time list, and already, per the honours board, a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell. Like Russell, Ron shares his on-this-day company with Robert Chance's 1976 effort at Sennocke. Tim Thirkell then completed the Headcorn hat-trick of humility, caught by Peter West off Pete Sparks. It's Tim's 3rd duck of the season and 71st of a genuinely gargantuan career — a Full House member (duck at every position 1-11), a permanent resident of the Lone Duck, Homebody Duck and Ducks on the Road top 10s, and Duck of the Year back in 1972. The surname carries weight here: Tim's late kinsman John Thirkell tops the all-time charts outright on 90, with brothers Nigel (55) and Simon (42) also well represented. Tim, too, walks in step with Robert Chance's 1976 Sennocke special. Sunday 5th August — Downham & Bellingham CC Fred Cheesman kept the 1st XI's afternoon honest, holing out to Gary Hopper off Chris Mendham at number seven. It's Fred's 2nd of the season and 36th for the club — 19th all-time — and he arrives with a mantelpiece groaning under honours: back-to-back Duck of the Year in 1990 and 1991, the rare Full House (duck at every position), a fixture of the Tourist Duck top 10, and one half of Only Two Quacks with a certain Adam Pooley, who handily sits second in this very season's charts below. Fred's duck-collecting runs in the family too, with Stuart (32) and Steve (13) both established members. On this day in 1895, Ernest Cruttenden made a duck against Rochester CC on his way to that season's Duck of the Year — kindred spirits 106 years apart. 📊 The Week in Brief Four ducks, three matches, and Headcorn CC alone accounted for three of them. Consistency of a very particular kind. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Simon Thirkell — 5 ducks, 12 innings (41.67%) 2. Adam Pooley — 4 ducks, 12 innings (33.33%) 3. Luke Wallond — 3 ducks, 6 innings (50.0%) 4. Tim Thirkell — 3 ducks, 12 innings (25.0%) 5. Stuart Cheesman — 3 ducks, 28 innings (10.71%) A proper family affair up top, with Simon Thirkell leading and brother Tim lurking in 4th. Luke Wallond's 50% strike rate remains the most efficient failure in the club. Next fixture beckons — bring your bat, or don't bother. The Duck Club will be watching either way. 🦆🍩

A quieter week for the Duck Club faithful — four fixtures out on the paddock, but only three added their names to the ledger. Still, quality over quantity, and this week's trio did not disappoint. Saturday 28 July — Milstead CC Double Header The 1sts, away at Milstead, saw Matt Large fall at number 9, bowled by Richard Annand. It's his 2nd duck of the season and 62nd of an extraordinary career — good enough for 5th on the all-time list of 1269. Matt's honours cabinet groans under six Duck of the Year gongs (1987, '88, '89, '92, '93, '95), plus spots on the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens. He's also the club's Full House nearly-man, having ducked at 10 of the 11 batting positions — number 9 today, one closer to completing the set. A proud Debutante Duck too, having opened his account with nought all those years ago. On this same date back in 1993, Clive Newman was doing exactly the same thing against Ipswich Greyhounds CC - Kent Tour XI. Back home, the 2nds also welcomed Milstead and lost Simon Thirkell for a duck at number 6, bowled by Iain Rawson. It's his 5th of the season — extending his grip on top spot in this year's Duck of the Year race — and his 42nd career duck, 14th on the all-time roll. Simon already has a Duck of the Year crown from 1983 on the shelf and is closing in on a second, plus places in the Tourist Duck and Ducks on the Road top tens, en route to 50 Before a 50 honours. Ducking clearly runs in the blood — father John sits at number 1 in the entire club's history with 90, while brothers Tim (70) and Nigel (55) round out a formidable Thirkell top five. Fittingly, this was also the same day in 1993 that Clive Newman departed for nought against the touring Ipswich Greyhounds. Wednesday 1 August — Midweek XI v Ipswich Greyhounds CC - Kent Tour XI Adam Pooley became the tourists' scalp of the week, trapped lbw by K Banham at first drop. His 4th duck of the season takes him to 18 career ducks, 52nd on the all-time list. Adam is a fully paid-up member of the Only Two Quacks club, twice over, alongside both Fred Cheesman and Paul Bowles, and carries a Retirement Duck credential from a past farewell. On this same date in 1994, Roly Edwards also strolled back for nought, against Cleethorpes CC. Week in Summary Three ducks from four matches — two bowled, one lbw, and one fixture escaped completely unscathed. Not a vintage week for quantity, but Simon Thirkell's 5th of the season keeps the 2001 Duck of the Year race firmly alive. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Simon Thirkell — 5 ducks in 11 innings (45.45%) - Adam Pooley — 4 ducks in 12 innings (33.33%) - Luke Wallond — 3 ducks in 5 innings (60.00%) - Stuart Cheesman — 3 ducks in 26 innings (11.54%) - Matt Large — 2 ducks in 3 innings (66.67%) Plenty of season left for the chasing pack to close the gap. Get your names down for the next fixture — the Duck Club always has room for new members. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Three fixtures out on the paddock this weekend, and the ducks mostly kept their heads down — bar one bold soul willing to carry the flag for the exclusive zero club. 🏏 2nd XI at Northfleet CC Darren Styles, batting at number 8 away at Northfleet, was bowled by Tim Hayes and walked off with nothing to show for it — his 2nd duck of the 2001 season and the 7th of a steadily accumulating LPCC career, now on 7 from 116 innings and sitting 109th of 1268 in the club's all-time roll of dishonour. On this day back in 1980, Martin Thompson (1975–1987) was doing exactly the same thing against West Farleigh CC — proof, if any were needed, that the calendar has a long memory for noughts. 🌱 Elsewhere The other two fixtures this weekend were, disappointingly, entirely fowl-free — eleven-a-side affairs with not a duck to be found. The Duck Club will simply have to make do with one for now, though consistency of a very particular kind rarely goes unrewarded for long. 📊 Week in Summary One duck from three matches — a quiet weekend by the club's usual standards, but every nought still counts toward the greater cause. The season hunt continues apace elsewhere. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Simon Thirkell — 4 ducks / 10 innings (40%) 2. Luke Wallond — 3 ducks / 5 innings (60%) 3. Adam Pooley — 3 ducks / 11 innings (27.27%) 4. Stuart Cheesman — 3 ducks / 23 innings (13.04%) 5. Christopher Thirkell — 2 ducks / 8 innings (25%) Luke Wallond's 60% strike rate remains the number to beat this season — a specialist, evidently, in the art of not scoring. 0️⃣ Next fixture, next chance. Get out there, get in, and — for the good of the club — get out for nought. See you at the crease.

Three fixtures took the field this weekend, and the exclusive zero club welcomed four new inductees — every last one of them from the 1st XI. Onward to the carnage. Saturday 14th July — v Leeds & Broomfield CC (home) - Stuart Cheesman went lbw to Adrian Samson at number 7 for his 3rd duck of the season and 32nd of an illustrious career, good enough for 26th on the all-time list of 1267. A fully paid-up Debutante Duck, a two-time Duck of the Year (1994 and 1996), and a rare completer of the Full House — a duck at every position from 1 to 11. His father Fred sits on 35 career ducks and brother Steve on 13, so the family clearly has a gift for it. On this very day in 1956, A Hughes was doing precisely the same thing against A.Trembeths. - Mike Redman edged behind off Adrian Samson for his maiden club duck — 1st of the season and 1st of his career from just 8 innings, landing him at 500th all-time. Fittingly, A Hughes was also opening his account this way on 14 July back in 1956. - Michael Beeney fell to Dominic Smith at number 10, his 2nd duck of the season and 14th of his career, moving to 65th all-time from 105 innings, and comfortably ensconced in the club's Only Two Quacks pairing with Ian Brattle. Son Thomas already carries a career duck of his own, so the legacy is quietly under construction. And once again, 14 July 1956 saw A Hughes make a duck against A.Trembeths — clearly a date with form. Sunday 15th July — v Chestfield CC (away) - Luke Wallond was caught by Alister Robb off Jon Poole at number 6, his 3rd duck of the season from a mere 5 career innings — a startling 60% strike rate for entirely the wrong kind of achievement. On this day in 1997, Piers McDonald was doing exactly the same against Snodland, en route to back-to-back Duck of the Year crowns in 1997 and 1998. Week in summary Four ducks from three matches, all delivered courtesy of the 1st XI, who seem to be cornering the market this July. Cheesman and Beeney doubled up their tallies within the same innings, separated only by the bowler swapping from Samson to Smith. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Simon Thirkell — 4 ducks, 10 innings (40%) 2. Luke Wallond — 3 ducks, 5 innings (60%) 3. Adam Pooley — 3 ducks, 10 innings (30%) 4. Stuart Cheesman — 3 ducks, 21 innings (14.29%) 5. Christopher Thirkell — 2 ducks, 8 innings (25%) Wallond's strike rate is the one to watch — can anyone catch him before the season's out? The next fixture is never far away, and neither is the next nought. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A quieter week in the exclusive zero club, but the standards on show remain as gloriously dubious as ever. Four matches, three ducks, and two of them arriving on the very same historic anniversary. Read on. 1st XI v Falconwood CC (home, 8 July) - Stuart Cheesman departed at four, bowled by G Clay. His second duck of the season and 31st for the club from 249 innings, good enough for 27th on the all-time list. Stuart's cabinet already holds Duck of the Year in both 1994 and 1996, plus the rare Full House — a duck registered from every position 1 to 11, comprehensive failure as an art form. On this very day back in 1975, Jim Hall (1967–2001, 73 ducks, 3rd all-time) was doing exactly the same thing against West Farleigh CC — some anniversaries never go out of fashion. - Down at seven, Adam Pooley was trapped lbw by V Furze for his third duck of the campaign. Nine innings into this season at a startling 33% strike rate for nought, he sits 2nd in the current Duck Hunting Season standings. Career tally now 17 from 71 innings, 54th all-time, and he already carries two Only Two Quacks partnerships — with Fred Cheesman and with club legend Paul Bowles — alongside a Retirement Duck credit from a past farewell. Adam joins Stuart in tipping his cap to Jim Hall's 1975 vintage, struck on this same date. 2nd XI v Horton Kirby CC (home, 7 July) - Tim Thirkell fell for nought at five, caught V Ratnayke bowled Bradley Bull. His second duck of the season from 7 innings — a chastening 28.57%, enough for 4th in the current season charts. Career number 70 from 725 innings keeps him planted at 4th on the all-time roll, backed by a small library of honours: Duck of the Year 1972, top-ten spots in Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck, a Full House across every position, and a Quacking Together partnership with the same Jim Hall making his anniversary bow elsewhere this week. The Thirkell name is practically wallpaper on the honours board — father John Thirkell tops the entire all-time list with 90, siblings Nigel (55) and Simon (41, presently leading this season's charts) keep it in the family, with Daniel, Christopher and Stuart Thirkell all paid-up members besides. On this day in 1979, Paul Brattle (1969–1997, 26 ducks, 35th all-time) was also strolling back for nought, against Medway Valley. Week in summary Three ducks from four fixtures — a modest harvest, but a poetic one, with two Linton batsmen unknowingly echoing Jim Hall's very own 1975 duck against West Farleigh, on the very same date 26 years apart. No pairs, no family affairs this week — the ducks kept themselves respectably spread out. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Simon Thirkell — 10 inns, 4 ducks, 40.0% 2. Adam Pooley — 9 inns, 3 ducks, 33.33% 3. Luke Wallond — 4 inns, 2 ducks, 50.0% 4. Tim Thirkell — 7 inns, 2 ducks, 28.57% 5. Christopher Thirkell — 8 inns, 2 ducks, 25.0% Simon Thirkell holds the pace at the head of the field, with Adam Pooley matching him stride for stride. The rest of the club, take note — there's still a season's worth of golden opportunities to add your name to the list. Next fixture awaits — same crease, same risk, same glorious jeopardy. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A quiet weekend for the Duck Club by its own extravagant standards — four matches in the period, and only one of them troubled the scorers. Still, where Clarion CC were involved, ignominy duly arrived. Sunday 1st XI v Clarion CC (h) — the exclusive zero club welcomed three new entries - Luke Wallond, in at 5, c Richard Hilson b S Cox. His second duck of the season and, remarkably, his second in a career all of three innings old — a debut duck rate to make the honours board take notice. He sits 281st of 1267 all time, and on this day in 1995, the great Matt Large (1985-2001, 61 ducks, rank 5 of 1267) was also dismissed for nought, against Meopham CC. Good company to keep, even in disgrace. - Fred Cheesman, at 7, b J Elks. Only his first duck of this campaign, but his 35th for the club from 216 innings — a lofty 20th of 1267 all time. Fred's honours cabinet groans under the weight of Duck of the Year 1990 and 1991, Full House (a duck at every position 1-11, the completionist's curse), Tourist Duck top 10, and Only Two Quacks (with Adam Pooley, who appears below in the leaderboard — perhaps comparing notes). Consistency of a very particular kind indeed, and it plainly runs in the blood — kin Stuart (30 career ducks) and Steve Cheesman (13) fly the family flag. On this day in 1995, Matt Large also made nought against Meopham CC. - Alan Boyns, at 8, b S Cox — S Cox's second victim of the innings, doing a fine trade. A first duck of the season and 20th of an accomplished career spanning 195 innings, rank 49 of 1267. Alan is already a paid-up member of the Diamond Duck board from 1990, out without facing a ball that year — today's dismissal, mercifully, took rather more effort. On this day in 1995, Matt Large made it a hat-trick of parallels, also dismissed for nought against Meopham CC. The rest of the weekend stayed resolutely fowl-free — three fixtures, no ducks, the art of not scoring evidently not practised elsewhere this week. Week in summary: 3 ducks from 4 matches, all delivered by Clarion CC in a single innings, with S Cox personally responsible for two-thirds of the carnage. Triumph through adversity, courtesy of Linton's middle-to-lower order. 🏏 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 Simon Thirkell — 4 ducks / 10 inns (40%) 🥈 Luke Wallond — 2 ducks / 3 inns (66.67%) 🥉 Christopher Thirkell — 2 ducks / 7 inns (28.57%) 4️⃣ Adam Pooley — 2 ducks / 8 inns (25%) 5️⃣ James Piper — 1 duck / 1 inn (100%) Luke Wallond's weekend efforts keep him firmly in the hunt for Duck of the Year — a fine chase, if you can call it that. 🍩 Next fixture beckons, and with it, more names destined for the wrong kind of glory. Until then — bat carefully, or don't. 0️⃣🦆

Three fixtures out on the paddocks this weekend and the zero club kept things characteristically modest — just the two new arrivals, both from the same Saturday afternoon at home to Southborough CC. Quality, evidently, over quantity. 🏏 Saturday 23rd — 2nd XI v Southborough CC (Home) First to the crease and first to the pavilion was Richard Piper, undone at first drop for a duck bowled by Duncan Croll. It's his 1st of the season but a thoroughly seasoned 24th of his career from 134 innings, keeping him lodged at 40th in the all-time table — rarefied company indeed for a man who already holds membership of the Full House board (a duck at every position 1-11, a truly comprehensive body of work), plus places in the Homebody, Lone Duck and Ducks on the Road top tens. A proper collector's collector. Keep it in the family, too — father Brian sits on 20 career ducks of his own, and brother James (who you'll spot prowling this very season's leaderboard below) carries one of his own. On this very day back in 1979, David Carden was making his own duck against Hythe CC, en route to 6 for his 1978-1981 career — Richard tips his cap across the decades. Six down the order, Stewart Roberts joined the procession, bowled by Dave Fuller for his 1st duck of the season and 3rd of an emerging career from just 21 innings — 218th in the all-time reckoning and climbing. Fittingly, he shares his exact calendar-day companion with Richard — David Carden's 1979 duck against Hythe CC keeps them both company from 22 years back. Not a bad club to be inducted into on your third outing. Elsewhere, the other two fixtures of the weekend passed off entirely fowl-free — eleven-a-side restraint the like of which the Duck Club can only look upon with polite disapproval. 📊 Week in Summary Two ducks from three matches, both confined to a single innings at Southborough — a concentrated rather than a widespread harvest this week. No pairs, no king pairs, and the family honours board stays untroubled for now, though with a Piper father and two Piper siblings all carrying career ducks between them, the bloodline clearly has previous. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Simon Thirkell — 4 ducks / 9 innings (44.4%) 2. Christopher Thirkell — 2 ducks / 6 innings (33.3%) 3. Adam Pooley — 2 ducks / 7 innings (28.6%) 4. James Piper — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 4. Matt Large — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) The Thirkell dynasty holds firm at the summit, but James Piper's flawless-if-unwanted 100% start is one to watch. 🍩 Next fixture looms, gloves and pads await — who fancies adding their name to the honours board this time? The zero club never sleeps. 🦆

A quieter week in the LPCC aviary — just four ducks across four matches — but quality over quantity, as ever, in this most peculiar of pursuits. 🏏 Saturday 16 June — 2nd XI at Marden CC, Kent Simon Thirkell departed for nought, c T Rutherford b Matthew Blythin at six, his 4th duck of the season and a tightening grip on the Duck of the Year 2001 race. He moves to 41 career ducks, 14th on the all-time list, and already boasts "50 Before a 50" status (59 ducks, high score 48 — runs strictly optional). On this day back in 1970, Cliff Anscombe was doing much the same against Ozonair. The surname carries serious pedigree here — brother Tim sits on 69 career ducks, brother Nigel on 55, and father John a staggering 90. A dynasty built, quite literally, on not scoring. 🏏 Sunday 17 June — 1st XI v Blue Star CC (home) Adam Pooley fell for his 2nd duck of the season, c Martin Shuttle b Steve Chenery at first drop, taking his career tally to 16 — 55th all-time. His cabinet already holds two "Only Two Quacks" pairings (with Fred Cheesman and with Paul Bowles) and a Retirement Duck credit from a past farewell innings. On this day in 1997, Adrian Caddick was likewise walking back, against Maidstone Teachers. Luke Wallond joined him in the column, c Filip Rafeneli b X Norton at six — his 1st LPCC duck, from just 2 career innings. Early days, but the ledger is open. He shares the same on-this-day company as Pooley: Adrian Caddick, 1997. 🏏 Wednesday 20 June — Midweek XI v Sevenoaks & District Wednesday CC (home) Stuart Cheesman was b B- Rose for his 1st duck of the season, moving to 30 career ducks and 29th all-time — level in spirit with Benny Bell, who made his 30th on this very day in 1970 against Hythe CC. Stuart's honours already include Duck of the Year in both 1994 and 1996, plus the rare Full House (a duck at every position 1 to 11) — a proper student of the art, and a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from his first-ever innings. Brother Steve (13) and father Fred (34) keep it in the family. 📊 Week in Summary Four ducks, four matches, one clear theme — the Thirkell and Cheesman bloodlines continue to underpin the club's proud tradition of not troubling the scorers. No pairs, no king pairs, no family doubles this week — the ducks came one at a time, politely. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Simon Thirkell — 8 innings, 4 ducks (50.0%) 2. Adam Pooley — 6 innings, 2 ducks (33.3%) 3. Christopher Thirkell — 6 innings, 2 ducks (33.3%) 4. James Piper — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 5. Matt Large — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) Simon Thirkell sets the pace at the season's midpoint, but with Pooley and a second Thirkell snapping at his heels, the race for Duck of the Year 2001 is far from settled. 🍩 Fixtures resume shortly — pads on, guards down, and the zero club awaits its next recruits. See you at the crease. 0️⃣🦆

Three fixtures out on the road this weekend, and it was the Sunday NVKC trip to Eynsford CC that did the damage — two more names added to the ledger of dubious distinction, while Saturday's sides kept their collective noses uncharacteristically clean. 🌱 Sunday NVKC — Away at Eynsford CC Rob Doick, in at six, fell without scoring courtesy of a run out that nobody in the field seems entirely able to take credit for — "Unsure" being about as honest a fielding return as the Duck Club ever receives. It's Rob's first duck of the campaign and the 22nd of a growing career collection from 159 innings, lodging him at 47th in the all-time table of 1,265. Splendidly, on this very calendar date back in 1961, one Robert Wood was also trudging off for nought, against Tovil of all opponents — a Debutante Duck club member himself, so the tradition of falling early clearly runs deep at this time of year. Then came Matt Large, run through the order to number ten, caught by Lindsay Hamill off Ian Playfoot without so much as troubling the umpire's finger. This is Matt's 61st career duck — yes, sixty-first — and it plants him at a rarefied 5th on the all-time leaderboard of 1,265 names. The honours board reads like a testimonial dinner: Debutante Duck, six separate Duck of the Year titles (1987, 1988, 1989, 1992, 1993, 1995), a fixture in the Ducks on the Road and Homebody Duck top tens, Lone Duck top ten, and a nearly-man's ruefully permanent seat in the Full House reckoning at 10 of 11 positions. Fittingly, Matt too shares this date's ghostly company with Robert Wood's 1961 duck at Tovil — proof that some things about English club cricket simply repeat down the decades. 📅 Week in Summary Two ducks from three matches, both claimed by the same unlucky away trip — Eynsford CC clearly agreeing with nobody in NVKC colours this weekend. Saturday's sides, meanwhile, batted through without offering the Duck Club a single fresh entry, a state of affairs we trust is merely temporary. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Simon Thirkell — 3 ducks from 7 innings (42.86%) - Christopher Thirkell — 2 from 4 (50.00%) - Dave Todd — 1 from 1 (100.00%) - James Piper — 1 from 1 (100.00%) - Matt Large — 1 from 1 (100.00%) A tight scrap at the top, with the Thirkells setting the pace and a trio on a perfect record threatening to gatecrash. The season is young — plenty of time yet for someone to make this table their own. Next fixture beckons, and with it the Duck Club's tireless recruitment drive continues. Bring your bat, mind your first ball, and may the nought be ever in your favour. 🍩🏏0️⃣

Four fixtures, four ducks — a quieter week for the quackers, but no week is ever truly quiet in this exclusive zero club. 1st XI — v Fordcombe CC (3 June) Michael Beeney came in at ten and departed c Denis Oliver b Richard Latter, his 1st duck of the season and 13th of a fine career across 98 innings — good enough for 66th of 1265 in the all-time table. Michael remains one half of "Only Two Quacks" alongside Ian Brattle, and long ago earned his stripes as a Retirement Duck club member from a past farewell — no danger of a repeat this week, just another quiet entry in the ledger. On this very day in 1967, Alan Cridland (1965-1968) also strolled back for nought, against Tovil Nomads CC — some things never change. 2nd XI — v Staplehurst CC (2 June) Christopher Thirkell, stumped by John Swannick off C Lidddicoat, notched his 2nd duck of the season and 4th overall from just 14 innings. He's also a "Full House nearly-man" — ten of eleven positions ducked at and counting. The Thirkell name is practically the family business round here, with John, Tim, Nigel and Simon carrying 90, 69, 55 and 40 career ducks between them, so Christopher is simply continuing the tradition. On this day in 1995, Paul Gibson (1984-2001, 24 ducks) made his own contribution against Rumwood CC. Midweek XI — v Blue Star CC (6 June) Adam Pooley, bowled Neill Williams, chalked up his 1st duck of the season and 15th of his career from 66 innings, sitting 59th of 1265 all time. He carries two "Only Two Quacks" partnerships on his card, with Fred Cheesman and Paul Bowles, plus a past Retirement Duck credential. Sharing the honours was newcomer Rob Jackson, caught Mike Peters bowled Chris Chenery at number seven — a maiden senior innings and an instant Debutante Duck, the purest way to begin a Duck Club career. Fittingly, both men's ducks echo back to 1967, when none other than club legend John Thirkell — top of the all-time chart on 90 career ducks — also fell, against Civil Service CC, Kent. Week in summary Four matches, four ducks, one shiny new Debutante Duck, no repeat offenders. Steady rather than spectacular, but the season race is quietly heating up. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Simon Thirkell — 3 ducks from 6 innings (50%) - Christopher Thirkell — 2 ducks from 4 innings (50%) - Dave Todd — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) - James Piper — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) - Paul Croucher — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) Plenty of season left for the chasing pack to make their move. See you at the crease next weekend — the ducks are never far away. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Four matches, four ducks, and the zero club welcomes its latest inductees. Saturday 26 May — 2nd XI vs Horsmonden CC Darren Styles fell early, bowled Ade LeMoine — his first duck of the season and 6th for the club from 109 innings, 118th on the all-time list. He joins Cliff Anscombe, who made his own duck against Ron Aiston's XI on this very day back in 1957, going on to be crowned that year's Duck of the Year. At five, Simon Thirkell notched a third duck of the season, bowled P Pembleton. His 40th career nought keeps him 15th all-time from 179 innings, well inside "50 Before a 50" territory (59 ducks, top score 48) and with his name already down for 2001's own Duck of the Year honours. Also on the 1957 Anscombe list. Keep an eye out for son Christopher, busy adding his own name a couple of days later. Number 10 Paul Croucher went lbw to Glen Christian for his first duck of the year and 12th overall, a fellow Retirement Duck club member from a past Linton farewell, and yet another disciple of the 1957 Anscombe vintage. Monday 28 May — 1st XI vs Wadhurst CC Christopher Thirkell fell at five, bowled Andy Taylor — his first duck of the season and third of a young career in just 13 innings, 181st all-time. Father Simon sits on 40, kin John, Tim, Nigel and Daniel on 90, 69, 55 and 15, though Christopher has already overtaken kinsman Stuart's solitary one. He's also chasing "Full House" nearly-man status, having ducked in 10 of 11 positions. On this day in 1928, Bert Buckoke made his own duck against Bearsted CC, later twice Duck of the Year. Week in summary Four ducks, four matches, and the Thirkell name doing double duty — father at Horsmonden, son at Wadhurst, two grounds apart. Otherwise a quiet weekend for the hunters. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Simon Thirkell — 5 inns, 3 ducks (60%) 2. Dave Todd — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) 3. James Piper — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) 4. Paul Croucher — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) 5. Roly Edwards — 2 inns, 1 duck (50%) Next fixture, fresh chances for the zero club. See you at the crease. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Three matches on the fixture list this weekend, but only one pitch cared to contribute to the exclusive zero club — and it did so with real enthusiasm. Step forward Rumwood CC's A Wood, who put together a spell that will live long in Duck Club folklore even if nowhere else. 🏏 2nd XI away at Rumwood CC — a middle-order procession At number five, Roly Edwards fell caught Hover bowled Wood without troubling the scorers, his 1st duck of the season and 16th for his career from 126 innings — a tidy 58th in the all-time list of 1,263. On this very day back in 1974, Paul Bowles was also making a duck, against Aylesford Paper Mills CC no less, on his way to a career 54 that still sits 8th all-time. Two batsmen later, Simon Thirkell joined the queue, bowled Wood for his 2nd duck of the season and 39th of a career now well into "50 Before a 50" territory — 59 ducks needed for that dubious honour against a top score of just 48, and he's closing in. Rank 15 of 1,263 all-time, a paid-up member of the Ducks on the Road and Tourist Duck top tens, and — with the calendar reading 2001 — a live contender for his second Duck of the Year crown since 1983. It rather runs in the family: father John sits top of the all-time charts on 90, while brothers Tim (69) and Nigel (55) are hardly short of the habit either. Also on this day in 1974, Paul Bowles was doing exactly the same thing. Rounding off the collapse at number eight, Dave Todd went lbw to Wood, his 1st duck of the season and 16th in a patient 209-innings career, good for 55th on the all-time roll. And yes — on this day in 1974, Paul Bowles was there too, making it three-for-three on the historical namesake front. A weekend, then, entirely monopolised by one Rumwood scorecard — the club's other two fixtures passed without a single nought to report, disappointingly vegan affairs by Duck Club standards. Week in summary: 3 ducks, 3 matches, 1 bowler (A Wood) doing all the damage, and the honour spread neatly across positions five, seven and eight. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Simon Thirkell — 4 inns, 2 ducks, 50% - Dave Todd — 1 inn, 1 duck, 100% - James Piper — 1 inn, 1 duck, 100% - Tim Thirkell — 1 inn, 1 duck, 100% - Roly Edwards — 2 inns, 1 duck, 50% Early days yet in the 2001 campaign, but the top of the table already has the consistency of a very particular kind. Next weekend's fixtures await — the ducks, as ever, are only ever one nervous prod away. 🍩0️⃣

A quiet weekend by Duck Club standards, but quality over quantity — Linton Park hosted a Bearsted CC double-header on the Saturday and the visitors managed to prise out exactly two victims for nought, one from each of our top two sides. 1st XI v Bearsted CC (home) Opening the batting and opening the club's account for the weekend, Clive Newman departed c Ian Sandwell b Sarath Chandrasekera — a tidy bit of bowling turning a promising vigil into his 1st duck of the season. It's his 11th for the club from 244 innings, good enough for 76th of 1263 in the all-time table — a place of genuinely dubious distinction. Curiously, on this very day back in 1906, D H Luck also strolled back for nought, against Town Malling CC of all people. Some things, it seems, never change. 2nd XI v Bearsted CC (home) Down at the other end of the ground the same fixture claimed a rather bigger scalp. Tim Thirkell, bowled by Stephen Horrocks at number two, notched his 1st duck of the season and, more alarmingly for the rest of us, his 69th of a storied career — 719 innings in, and sitting a mighty 4th of 1263 all time. Tim's honours-board CV reads like a museum wing: Duck of the Year 1972, a place in the Ducks on the Road top 10, the Homebody Duck top 10, the Lone Duck top 10, a Full House (a duck at every position 1 to 11, a feat requiring genuine range), and Quacking Together status alongside Jim Hall. And he doesn't do it alone — the Thirkell name is practically its own subcommittee of the club, with father John (90 career ducks, the all-time number one no less), siblings Nigel (55) and Simon (38), and cousins Daniel (15), Christopher (2) and Stuart (1) all paid-up members in their own right. Fittingly, Tim's own parallel also lands on D H Luck's 1906 vigil against Town Malling CC — the second Linton man this weekend to share a calendar date with a duck laid down 95 years earlier. Week in Summary Three matches, two ducks, and both fell in the very same Saturday fixture against Bearsted CC — one apiece for the 1st and 2nd XIs. Sunday, by contrast, was a vegan affair top to bottom. Modest figures, but as ever in this club, it's not the volume that counts, it's the pedigree — and this week we had genuine pedigree in Tim Thirkell. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 1. James Piper — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 1. Tim Thirkell — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 3. Clive Newman — 3 innings, 1 duck (33.3%) 3. Simon Thirkell — 3 innings, 1 duck (33.3%) 5. Howard Waters — 4 innings, 1 duck (25%) Early days yet in the 2001 campaign, and the table is wide open. Roll on the next fixture — the Duck Club always has room for new arrivals, and on this evidence, the Thirkells alone could keep the honours board busy for another generation. 🍩0️⃣🏏

Only one nought fell this weekend, but it was struck from quality opposition and delivered with real pedigree, so pour yourselves a small libation for the effort. Saturday 6th May 1st XI v Willesborough CC (home) Stewart Morrison, in at first drop, was undone by M- Scamp, bowled for his first duck of the young 2001 season. It's Stewart's 32nd career nought from 251 innings, keeping him handsomely placed at 25th in the all-time charts — a spot he's occupied with some comfort since claiming the Duck of the Year crown back in 2000. Stewart is already a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, having opened his senior account with a blob all those years ago, and he continues to lurk just off the pace in both the Full House nearly-man reckoning (10 of 11 batting positions dismissed for nought now — only one spot left to complete the set) and the Lone Duck top 10. Spookily, on this very day back in 1996, Peter Whyte (1987–2001) was also strolling back for a duck, against Maidstone Dissidents CC no less — he finished his playing days on 22, good for 46th all-time. Some anniversaries you really can set your watch by. Elsewhere across the club's two fixtures this weekend, bat met ball rather more successfully, and the Duck Club's nets stayed largely, disappointingly, empty. 📊 Week in Summary Just the single duck from two matches — a suspiciously quiet weekend by Linton's usual standards of self-sabotage. Enjoy the calm. It rarely lasts. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. James Piper — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 2. Simon Thirkell — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) 3. Howard Waters — 4 innings, 1 duck (25%) 4. Mike Elworthy — 4 innings, 1 duck (25%) 5. Piers McDonald — 4 innings, 1 duck (25%) Early days yet in the 2001 hunt, with the whole top five locked together on a single duck apiece. Plenty of season left for someone to break clear — or for a fresh challenger to wander in and steal top spot with one horribly-timed nought. Next fixture, fresh victims. The Duck Club never sleeps. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Four fixtures under the Highveld sun and the zero club packed its passport, harvesting five ducks on tour. A proud away haul for the exclusive club of the scoreless. 🏏 v Cuylerville CC – South Africa (14 March) Opening the batting and opening the tour's duck account, David Castle was caught unsure — appropriately enough — off X Elliott. His 1st duck of the season and 36th of an extraordinary career lifts him to 18th on the all-time list, a proud member of the Tourist Duck top 10. He now stands level with Richard Harris, who reached the same 36 across a career spanning 1940–1982 — proof noughts, like good wine, only improve with decades. Further down, James Piper fell bowled by M Clayton for his maiden career duck in just 3 innings. He joins - Copeland, a 1979 name whose entire senior career was one innings and one duck — Debutante, One and Done and a presumed Retirement Duck all off a single delivery. James has rather more career ahead of him. Pedigree runs deep too — sibling Richard Piper carries 23 career ducks, father Brian Piper another 20, so the nought is clearly hereditary. 🏏 v Stanley South Africa (16 March) Three more fell in this one. Mike Elworthy departed bowled by R Guest for his 1st of the season and 35th of his career, drawing level with Stan Wratten (1943–1984), fellow Tourist Duck top 10 royalty and a Quacking Together honouree. Howard Waters followed, bowled by S Long, his very first career duck from just 4 innings — and like Piper earlier, lands alongside - Copeland on the single-duck ledger. Completing the collapse, Piers McDonald was trapped lbw by D Duncan for his 1st of the season and a hefty 47th of his career — good enough for 11th all time, a two-time Duck of the Year (1997, 1998) and Lone Duck top 10 fixture. He draws level on 47 with legendary Bob Arnold (1949–1964), himself a four-in-a-row merchant with Quacking Together and Only Two Quacks honours to his name. 📋 Week in Summary Five ducks from four fixtures — a healthy touring tally, and proof South African wickets show no mercy to reputation. Two brand-new career ducks (Piper, Waters) alongside three seasoned campaigners padding out already substantial files. No pairs, no king pairs, no family affairs — just honest, individual failure, tourist class. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - James Piper — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Simon Thirkell — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) - Howard Waters — 4 innings, 1 duck (25%) - Mike Elworthy — 4 innings, 1 duck (25%) - Piers McDonald — 4 innings, 1 duck (25%) The tour rolls on and the ducks show no sign of migrating home early. Get your noughts in before the next fixture — the Club welcomes all new arrivals 🍩0️⃣🦆

Three fixtures out on tour in South Africa this week, and the travelling party kept remarkably tight discipline at the crease — only one name required for the confessional box. Quality over quantity, as they say in the exclusive zero club. 🏏 Tour XI Cape Tech South Africa, 6 March: Simon Thirkell, in at four, was bowled by X Puoaro without troubling the scorers — the tour's first (and, as it turned out, only) offering to the Duck Club this week. It's his 1st duck of the 2001 season and the 38th of a long and distinguished career spanning 176 innings, good enough for 17th on the all-time list of 1,262. A proper club institution, Simon is already a name on the Duck of the Year 2001 board, so this one keeps the current campaign ticking along nicely — and he's no stranger to top billing, having taken the crown outright back in 1983 too. He's also long since banked his place among the 50 Before a 50 set, having racked up 59 career ducks against a highest score of just 48 — triumph through adversity, if ever there was a category for it. Fittingly for a man dismissed on foreign soil, Simon is a fixture of both the Ducks on the Road and Tourist Duck top tens — evidently determined to collect noughts on every continent going. And the surname carries serious pedigree in this department: father John (90 career ducks) and brothers Tim (68) and Nigel (55) all have serious form of their own, making this very much a family trade. On the numbers, Simon now sits level on 38 career ducks with Allan Cooper, who plied his trade — and his edges — from 1971 to 1989 across 240 innings. Kindred spirits, four decades apart. 📊 Week in Summary A quiet one by Duck Club standards: 3 matches, just 1 duck to show for it. Whether that's tour discipline or simply everyone else keeping their heads down, the numbers don't lie — even Simon Thirkell can't do all the work alone. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Simon Thirkell — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) 🥇 With the season still young and the tour rolling on, there's plenty of time yet for the rest of the squad to join Simon on the honours board. Next fixture, same rules apply: bat first, worry later. See you all out there — the ducks certainly will be. 🦆🍩