🦆 The Duck Pond

A weekend of grim entertainment as Sidcup CC arrived at Linton Park and promptly dismantled the top and middle order for nought, nought, and nought again. Five ducks in one innings — the zero club had a proper feast. Saturday 23rd — 1st XI v Sidcup CC (h) Tom Murphy fell for his 2nd of the season, caught Phil Robinson bowled Alex McCawley at first drop, and moves to 2 career ducks in 12 innings, 331st in the all-time list. He draws level with Glen Rawson, who reached the same tally in 11 innings across 2005-2006 — kindred spirits in the art of not scoring. Daniel McCarthy followed at four, caught Stephen Shanks bowled Rob Solway, his 3rd of the season and 3rd of his career from 18 innings, 198th all time. On this very day in 1972, Tim Thirkell also strolled back for nought against West Farleigh CC — good company, even if Tim went on to rack up 78 career ducks and a hatful of Duck of the Year titles. Ron McCormick was run out unsure at six for his 1st duck of the season, taking his career tally to 3 from a marathon 125 innings, 235th on the all-time list. Ron is already a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from a previous sign-off — evidently the retirement didn't stick, and neither did his bat today. He shares today's on-this-day company with Tim Thirkell's 1972 effort too. Jim Hall, ever the club statesman, holed out caught and bowled Phil Robinson at number eight for his 3rd duck of the season, extending his imperious career tally to 79 from 494 innings — 3rd in the entire 1331-strong all-time list. His honours board is a small library: three Duck of the Year titles (1970, 1977, 1985), Full House nearly-man, Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top ten memberships, and fittingly a Quacking Together entry with none other than Tim Thirkell — who obliges again as today's on-this-day parallel. Tim Wright closed out the collapse at nine, caught Barry Patey bowled Phil Robinson, his 1st duck of the season and career from 12 innings, 609th all time. He joins - Howard on the same tally, a 2006 debutant who managed the rare feat of One and Done and a Retirement Duck in a single innings. The numbers Two matches, five ducks, all of them Sidcup's doing — Phil Robinson alone had a hand in three of the five dismissals. One innings, one bowling attack, one thoroughly bad afternoon for the Linton Park top and middle order. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Simon Thirkell — 3 ducks from 3 innings (100%) 2. Paul Webber — 3 from 5 (60%) 3. Ray Dixon — 3 from 8 (37.5%) 4. Jim Hall — 3 from 9 (33.33%) 5. Thomas Beeney — 3 from 9 (33.33%) Simon Thirkell sits on a perfect record so far — every innings a duck. Can anyone catch him before the season's out? 🍩 See you next fixture, when the zero club will no doubt be recruiting again. 🦆

A quiet week by Linton standards — just two matches and three ducks — but quality over quantity, and this week's crop included a proper double. Saturday 16th — 1st XI v Holborough Anchorians CC Jim Hall departed at number 8, caught Gary Hawkins bowled Joe Bowles, for his 1st duck of the season. It's his 77th in senior colours, keeping him at a lofty 3rd of 1331 in the all-time standings — the exclusive zero club's senior common room, propped up by a mantelpiece of Duck of the Year honours (1970, 1977, 1985) and Only Two Quacks partnerships with Allan Cooper and Nigel Thirkell. On this very day in 1962, Richard Ashby (1962–1995, 28 career ducks) was doing exactly the same thing against Staplehurst CC. Wednesday 20th — Midweek XI v Penshurst Park CC Jim wasn't done. Bowled by David Smith at number 8, he collected his 2nd duck of the week — and the season — completing a grim pair either side of the weekend, moving to 78 career ducks and holding station at 3rd all-time. Consistency of a very particular kind. On this day in 1997, Daniel Thirkell (1993–2006) was similarly dismissed against Borden CC. Also falling in the same Penshurst fixture was Stuart Cheesman, caught Mike Smith bowled Geoff Ray at number 5 — his 1st duck of the season and 39th of a career that already boasts the rare Full House honour, a duck at every position 1 to 11. A paid-up Debutante Duck club member and two-time Duck of the Year (1994, 1996), Stuart joins Stewart Morrison (1987–2006, 354 innings) on exactly 39 — kindred spirits in the art of not scoring. A chip off the old block too, with father Fred Cheesman (42 career ducks) and brother Steve (14) both fellow members of the family firm. Week in summary Three ducks from two matches, and Jim Hall doing the work of two batsmen entirely on his own — a duck at both ends of the week is exactly the sort of triumph through adversity this club was built to celebrate. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Simon Thirkell — 3 ducks in 3 innings (100%) - Paul Webber — 3 in 5 (60%) - Ray Dixon — 3 in 8 (37.5%) - Thomas Beeney — 3 in 9 (33.33%) - Craig Sands — 3 in 43 (6.98%) Simon Thirkell sits on a flawless record so far this season — nobody else comes close to that particular consistency. Whether anyone can dislodge him before the campaign closes remains to be seen. Next fixture, next opportunity. The zero club never rests. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Six ducks across three matches to close out the campaign, and the club's most exclusive society welcomed a fresh face while an old firm carried on regardless. 🏏 2nd XI — Horton Kirby CC (away) Richard Piper opened the innings and, true to Full House form, opened his account for nought instead — caught behind off Dane Bull without troubling the scorers. His 3rd of the season nudges him to 44 career ducks, holding steady at 14th on the all-time table, a name that already adorns the Duck of the Year 2003 board plus the Full House, Homebody and Lone Duck top tens — a proper collector's set. On this very day back in 2000, Daniel Thirkell (1993–2006) was performing the exact same ceremony against Bearsted CC. Some traditions simply run in the Linton soil. 🌱 Sunday 1st XI — Anchorians CC (home) A bumper afternoon of scoreless artistry at home to the Anchorians, five ducks in one innings — nearly a full hand of nought. Mike Elworthy went second ball, caught behind off Dandridge, his 2nd of the season and 43rd of a long career — 15th on the all-time list and level with Mike Iliffe (1966–1987), who reached the same 43 in a mere 314 innings. On this day in 1955, John --'s Taylor was doing the same against Old Roffensians. At three, - Howard made an instant and emphatic arrival: bowled by Dandridge for his very first senior duck. A genuine debut, and a rare treble of honours in one visit to the crease — Debutante Duck, One and Done 2006, and Retirement Duck all struck off with a single ball. Whether he returns to trouble the bowlers again remains, delightfully, unwritten. He joins Graham Walker (1998–2006) on exactly 1 career duck. Peter Davies followed at six, caught off James Hockley, his 2nd duck of the season and of his career alike from just 14 innings — level with Daniel McCarthy, another 2006 arrival sitting on the same modest tally. Then came the afternoon's headline act. Michael Beeney fell for nought at seven, caught off Andy Tutt, his 2nd of the season and 23rd career duck, drawing level with Brian Piper (1973–2006) on the all-time list. Two batters later his son Thomas Beeney followed him back, bowled by J- Bacon, his 3rd of the season and 4th career duck. A parent and child both back in the pavilion without scoring in the very same innings — a proper Duck and Ducklings occasion, the rarest ceremony the club offers, and one for the family scrapbook alongside the ordinary scorebook. Thomas joins Ian Hollingworth (2004–2006) on 4 career ducks, and carries his own Debutante Duck and Ducks on the Road honours besides. 📊 Week in Summary Six ducks, three matches, one glorious family double act, and a brand new name etched onto the Debutante board. The Beeneys did more for the club's father-and-child statistics in one Sunday than most manage in a season. No golden ducks recorded — everyone at least troubled the bowling before the inevitable arrived. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Simon Thirkell — 3 innings, 3 ducks, 100% - Paul Webber — 5 innings, 3 ducks, 60% - Ray Dixon — 8 innings, 3 ducks, 37.5% - Thomas Beeney — 9 innings, 3 ducks, 33.33% - Craig Sands — 41 innings, 3 ducks, 7.32% Simon Thirkell sits ominously on a perfect record atop the table, but with Thomas Beeney's family exploits fresh in the memory, don't rule out a late surge from the Beeney household. 🏏 Same time next fixture, ladies and gentlemen — the square awaits, and so does the zero. 0️⃣🦆

A quiet couple of days on the fixture list — just two matches — but the zero club still found three fresh members to welcome into the fold. Saturday 2nd XI — away at Bearsted CC Simon Thirkell fell c & b Doug Reid at number six, his 3rd duck of the season and a staggering 54th of a career that now sits 9th on the all-time list of 1329. Simon is already a two-time Duck of the Year (1983, 2001) and — rather alarmingly — a fully paid-up member of the Duck of the Year 2006 club, having also claimed the dubious Runaway Duck honour for an entire season spent without troubling the scorers. A place on the 50 Before a 50 board (59 ducks, high score 48) rounds out a CV built almost entirely on triumph through adversity. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1968, Paul Bowles — later to retire on 54 ducks of his own (rank 8) — also strolled back for nought against these very same Bearsted CC, proof that this fixture has ducks written into its soil. Sunday 2nd XI — home to Cowdrey CC Sebastian Lewis enjoyed himself, claiming a brace for the zero club in the same innings. Paul Webber, batting seven, was caught (umpire understandably Unsure who by) for his 3rd duck of the season — and, from a mere 5 career innings, his 3rd career duck too. An eye-watering 60% strike rate for ignominy, and a paid-up Debutante Duck club member from his very first knock. On this day in 1972, Benny Bell (1966–1975) was making precisely the same journey back to the pavilion against Staplehurst CC. Thomas Beeney followed him at nine, caught Robert Hood off the same Sebastian Lewis, his 2nd duck of the season and 3rd of a 14-innings career. Thomas already holds a spot on the Ducks on the Road top 10 and, like Webber above, joins Benny Bell's 1972 vintage in spirit. A chip off the old block too — his father Michael Beeney carries 22 career ducks of his own, so the art of not scoring may well be hereditary. Week in summary Three ducks, two matches, one very productive spell from Sebastian Lewis. No pairs, no golden ducks, no family affairs this week — just steady, dependable service from the regulars. Simon Thirkell's season-long drought, however, is fast becoming the story of 2006. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Simon Thirkell — 3 innings, 3 ducks, 100% 2. Paul Webber — 5 innings, 3 ducks, 60% 3. Ray Dixon — 8 innings, 3 ducks, 37.5% 4. Craig Sands — 39 innings, 3 ducks, 7.69% 5. Iain Rawson — 7 innings, 2 ducks, 28.57% Simon Thirkell sits imperious atop a perfect record, with Paul Webber snapping at his heels after this weekend's exploits. The rest of the club will need to pull their fingers out — or, ideally, pull their bats in — if they hope to catch them before season's end. 🏏 Next fixture beckons. Pads on, guard taken, and no doubt a fresh crop of noughts waiting to be harvested. See you all out there. 0️⃣🦆

A quiet weekend for the collectors, but the zero club never sleeps entirely, and one name was added to this week's roll of dubious honour. 🏏 Sunday 2nd XI — away to Edenbridge CC Tom Murphy, going in at first wicket down, was undone by Howard Johnson and trudged off having troubled the scorers not one jot — bowled, and back in the hutch. A tidy, uneventful sort of duck, no golden ignominy attached, just the plain honest failure to score that the club holds so dear. It's Tom's 1st duck of the 2026 season and the 1st of his LPCC career, taking him to a single nought from 10 innings and slotting him in at 607th of 1329 in the all-time standings — a debut entry on the list of dubious distinction, and welcome to it. He arrives sitting on exactly the same tally as Graham Walker, who plied his trade for the club 1998–2006 and also carries one career duck, albeit spread more thinly across 59 innings — Tom finding his nought rather more efficiently, for whatever that's worth. Walker sits 458th overall; Tom will hope to keep him company rather than overtake him any time soon. 📊 Week in summary One match, one duck, one new face on the honours ledger. Ten other Sunday 2nd XI batters presumably got on with the actual business of scoring runs, spoiling what might otherwise have been a fuller harvest. Still, quality over quantity — the art of not scoring only needs one committed practitioner per week to keep the tradition alive. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Ray Dixon — 3 ducks / 7 innings (43%) 2. Craig Sands — 3 ducks / 38 innings (8%) 3. Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks / 2 innings (100%) 🍩 4. Paul Webber — 2 ducks / 4 innings (50%) 5. Iain Rawson — 2 ducks / 6 innings (33%) Simon Thirkell's perfect record remains the standard nobody wants to chase but everybody secretly admires — a whole season, two innings, two ducks, immaculate consistency of a very particular kind. Fixtures roll on, and with them the promise of more nought-scoring heroics. Bats at the ready, gentlemen — the zero club is always recruiting. 0️⃣🏏

Only five matches on the go this week, but the Duck Club still found time to induct new members and give one man a rather unwanted double. Four ducks recorded across the period — read on. 🏏 Saturday 19th — 2nd XI v Matfield Gareth Davies departed for nought, bowled by Knott from number seven. It's Gareth's 1st duck of the season and 7th of his career, sliding him to 122nd of 1,329 in the all-time roll call — level pegging with Craig Sands, who compiled his seven across a rather more leisurely 176 innings between 2002 and 2006. Efficiency, as ever, is relative. Lower down the order, Iain Rawson edged Danby off G Petty for his maiden LPCC duck — 1st of the season, 1st of the career, from just five innings so far. He joins Graham Walker (1998–2006, 59 innings) on that tally, and can console himself that his sibling Glen Rawson already has two of his own — clearly a family with an eye for the art of not scoring. 🌱 Sunday 20th — Sunday 1st XI v Chelsfield Park CC Iain Rawson wasn't finished. A day later, and just as ominously, he was bowled by Miles Walker without scoring again — his 2nd duck of the weekend and of the season, doubling his career tally to two in five innings flat. A proper pair, and Iain vaults straight into this season's top five as a result (see below). On this very day back in 1944, W Bunting was doing much the same thing against KCC Maidstone — some traditions never die. Joining him in ignominy was Michael Beeney, caught Hilary Breeze bowled Miles Walker for his 1st duck of the season and 22nd of an increasingly decorated career, holding at a lofty 50th of 1,329 all time. He draws level with Christopher Thirkell (1998–2006, 121 innings), a fellow Duck of the Year 2005 honouree. Michael arrives with pedigree too — a paid-up member of the Diamond Duck club since 2002, one half of Only Two Quacks with Ian Brattle, and a name that will one day, presumptively, grace the Retirement Duck board. His relative Thomas Beeney already carries two career ducks of his own, so the talent, such as it is, clearly runs in the blood. 📋 Week in Summary Four ducks from five matches, but really only three victims — Iain Rawson generously did the work of two all by himself. A quiet weekend by Duck Club standards, but a memorable one for the Rawson household. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Ray Dixon — 3 ducks in 7 innings (42.9%) 2. Craig Sands — 3 ducks in 38 innings (7.9%) 3. Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks in 2 innings (100%) 4. Paul Webber — 2 ducks in 4 innings (50%) 5. Iain Rawson — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40%) Iain's weekend heroics fire him straight into 5th spot — one more quiet failure and he'll be knocking on the door of top spot. The season race remains wide open, and with more fixtures to come, the exclusive zero club awaits its next intake. See you all next weekend — someone has to keep the tradition alive. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Three fixtures out on the paddock this week and the ducks, in the main, stayed remarkably well hidden. The exclusive zero club welcomed just the one new deposit — but as ever, quality over quantity. 🏏 Midweek XI — The Mote CC Chris Newman came to the crease at first drop and departed courtesy of a tidy delivery from L Waters, bowled. It's his second duck of the season and the 8th of a career now standing at 41 innings — good enough for 103rd on the all-time list of 1,329 names, a spot he now shares in spirit with Adam Jackson, who plied his trade 2001–2006 and reached the very same tally of 8 ducks, albeit across a more generous 83 innings. Consistency of a very particular kind. Worth noting Chris keeps it in the family too — kin Clive Newman sits on 16 career ducks of his own, so the art of not scoring is evidently hereditary in the Newman household. 🌱 The rest of the week The other two fixtures in the period passed off without a single addition to the honours board — either genuinely fine batting, or eleven players each deciding this wasn't going to be their week to audition. A rare weekend where the Duck Club had to make do with one solitary specimen for the collection. 📊 Week in summary 3 matches, 1 duck. If you're chasing Duck of the Year, this was not the week to make your move — but the season is long, and complacency has undone better players than these. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks in 2 innings (100%) — perfection, of a sort 2. Ray Dixon — 3 ducks in 6 innings (50%) 3. Paul Webber — 2 ducks in 4 innings (50%) 4. Ollie Howarth — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40%) 5. Craig Sands — 3 ducks in 36 innings (8.33%) — proof that volume has its own kind of dignity 🍩 Onward A quiet week by Duck Club standards, but never mistake quiet for safe — the next fixture is always one careless waft away from a fresh entry. Get your bats out, gentlemen, the zero club never truly closes. 0️⃣🏏

A tidy little haul this week: six ducks scattered across five matches, spanning three sides and a fair spread of misfortune. The exclusive zero club welcomes its latest inductees below. Saturday 5th August 1st XI, away at Eynsford CC: Richard Piper fell at number seven, caught Jamie Wise bowled Ian Playfoot, for his 2nd duck of the season and 43rd of an already stately career — good enough for 15th on the all-time chart. Richard's honours shelf groans under Duck of the Year 2003, places in both the Ducks on the Road and Homebody Duck top tens (ducking away from home is one thing, doing it at home too is dedication), and a completed Full House — a duck at every position, 1 through 11. On this very day in 1895, Ernest Cruttenden was performing the same ceremony against Rochester CC, en route to 10 career ducks and a Duck of the Year of his own. 2nd XI, at home to West Farleigh CC: a soft-boiled batting card. Russell Baldwin, caught Mick Goodrich bowled Wyn Barnardo, moved to 18 career ducks (58th all-time), drawing level with Dave Todd, who took 225 innings across 1978-2006 to reach the same total. Peter Davies followed shortly after, caught Jamie Webb bowled John Scott, for a maiden LPCC duck — his 1st in 11 innings — and finds instant kinship with Graham Walker, similarly stuck on one from a rather longer 59-innings apprenticeship, 1998-2006. Midweek Monday's fixture against The Dutch Uncles Team claimed Brian Piper, caught B- Winters bowled R Weyl, for his 23rd career duck — 44th all-time, and, pleasingly for the family scrapbook, just one place and one duck adrift of his own son Richard, busy at Eynsford two days prior. The Piper name runs deep in this society, with siblings and offspring David (7) and James (4) keeping the tradition alive. Brian's effort echoes Colin Dicker, who made an identical 23 look effortless against Headcorn CC on this same date in 1976, banking two Duck of the Year titles along the way. Tuesday's visit from Bexley CC was unkind to the Midweek middle order. Daniel McCarthy, lbw John Taylor at first drop, notched his 2nd duck of the season and of his career alike, joining Glen Rawson on that same modest tally. Matthew Carter followed, run out for reasons the scorebook simply shrugs at — "Unsure" — his 13th career duck, 71st all-time, level with Rob Jackson's 65-innings effort from 2001. Both are proud, paid-up members of the Debutante Duck club, each having opened their LPCC account with a blob. Week in summary Six ducks, five matches, no repeat offenders this time — nobody doubled up, no pairs, no kings. A quietly efficient week for the collectors. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Ray Dixon — 3 ducks in 6 innings (50%) 2. Craig Sands — 3 ducks in 34 innings (8.82%) 3. Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks in 2 innings (100%) 4. Paul Webber — 2 ducks in 4 innings (50%) 5. Ollie Howarth — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40%) Simon Thirkell's spotless 100% remains the season's most terrifying statistic — not a single run troubling the scorers yet. The willow stays stubbornly unblooded for plenty more. Next fixture, same invitation stands: middle one, or join the club. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A tidy little haul this week: five matches, five ducks, and the exclusive zero club welcomes its latest inductees with the usual mixture of sympathy and ill-disguised glee. Saturday — 1st XI v Mersham Sports CC Glen Rawson got the weekend's proceedings under way at number 7, caught Darren Pugh bowled Kevin Brown. His 1st duck of the season and 1st of his career from 6 innings, ranking him 274th of 1329 in the all-time records — he joins Daniel McCarthy, whose own lone 2006 duck arrived in 11 innings. Little did Glen know, this was merely the opening act. Sunday — 1st XI v Downham & Bellingham CC Glen Rawson was back for more, top-edging his way to a second duck in as many days at number 2, caught J Pretorius bowled David Powell. Season tally 2, career tally 2 — and with that, Glen completes a grim weekend pair, out but not golden in either innings, a fine early example of consistency of a very particular kind. Ray Dixon fell next, also caught by J Pretorius, this time off Keith McCann, at first drop. His 3rd duck of the season and 3rd of his career from just 7 innings puts him 227th on the all-time list. On this very day in 1997, Fred Cheesman was making a duck of his own against the touring Ipswich Greyhounds — Fred went on to bank 42 career ducks, two Duck of the Year titles and a Full House along the way, so Ray keeps distinguished company. Sunday — 2nd XI v Wilmington CC Ollie Howarth was stumped by E Greenhalgh off R Rampersad at number 6, his 2nd duck of the season and 3rd career nought from 12 innings, 223rd of 1329 all-time — and, coincidentally, another member of the 1997 on-this-day club alongside Fred Cheesman. And at number 11, a genuine heavyweight of the art of not scoring: Jon Harris, caught off T Cotton by a scorer who clearly gave up trying to identify the fielder. This was only his 1st duck of the season, but his 87th career duck overall, from a staggering 635 innings — good enough for 2nd place on the entire 1329-strong all-time list. Jon's honours board reads like a museum wing: Duck of the Year in 1976, 1980, 1981 and 1999, a Full House, top-ten residency in the Lone, Homebody and Tourist Duck charts, Only Two Quacks with Allan Cooper, and Quacking Together with both Jim Hall and Trevor Back. He's also a Debutante Duck from way back. Fittingly, he keeps it in the family — son Richard Harris carries 36 career ducks of his own, a proper chip off the old block. Week in summary Five ducks from five matches, with Sunday doing the heavy lifting — two apiece for the 1st and 2nd XIs after Saturday's opening salvo. Special mention to Glen Rawson for turning up twice to collect the same prize, and to Jon Harris for reminding everyone that true greatness in this club is measured in noughts, not runs. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Ray Dixon — 6 innings, 3 ducks, 50.0% 2. Craig Sands — 31 innings, 3 ducks, 9.68% 3. Simon Thirkell — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100.0% 4. Paul Webber — 4 innings, 2 ducks, 50.0% 5. Glen Rawson — 5 innings, 2 ducks, 40.0% Ray Dixon holds a narrow lead, but with Glen Rawson's pair fresh in the memory and the season far from over, this table has plenty of scope for reshuffling yet. 🏏 Next fixture looms, and with it, fresh opportunities for glory-in-reverse. Bats at the ready, ducks at the crease — same time, same channel, next week. 🦆0️⃣

Four fixtures out in the field this week and the Duck Club still found its four victims, spread neatly across a Saturday letter to Staplehurst and a midweek nightcap at Sidcup. Two matches escaped entirely unscathed — a rare mercy — but where the ducks did land, they landed with pedigree. 🏏 Saturday — Staplehurst CC (away) The 1st XI's top order took the news badly. James Piper departed for nought at first drop, run out in a mix-up nobody's owning up to — his 4th career duck from 55 innings, good for 172nd on the all-time list. He now sits level with Ian Hollingworth (2004–2006), who reached the same tally rather more briskly, in just 17 innings. Fitting company for a Piper, too — kid brother of Richard Piper (42 career ducks) and offspring of Brian Piper (22), so the family bloodline for finding fresh ways to get out clearly runs deep. Further down the order Adam Jackson edged one to the keeper for his 2nd duck of the season, his 8th overall in 82 innings, ranking 100th of 1326 — a nice round number for a nought. He draws level with Kevin Presneill (2001–2006), who required exactly the same 82 innings to get there, suggesting a shared and entirely unhurried approach to collecting ducks. Adam's sibling Rob Jackson already carries 13 of his own, so the family cabinet is filling nicely. 🌙 Midweek XI — Sidcup CC (away) Trevor Back was bowled by Rob Solway for his solitary duck of the season, but the real story is the company he keeps doing it. Sixty career ducks. Sixth of all time. A fixture of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, and a paid-up member of both Only Two Quacks (with Allan Cooper) and Quacking Together (with Jon Harris) — Trevor's honours board reads like a man who has made not scoring into a genuine specialism. His parallel today reaches all the way back to 1940, when J Short made a duck against Boughton Monchelsea CC on this very date — different opposition, same empty feeling. At number 11, Darren Styles was bowled by Kevin Mockler, his first duck of the season and 11th of his career from 167 innings, 83rd on the all-time roll. He shares his on-this-day parallel with Trevor — J Short's 1940 nought keeping the tail company 66 years on. 📋 Week in Summary Four ducks from four matches, evenly split between bat-first casualties at Staplehurst and a top-and-tail effort at Sidcup. No pairs, no families, no king ducks this week — just four honest contributions to the art of not scoring. Adam Jackson's brace already has him knocking on the Duck Hunting Season top five. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Craig Sands — 3 ducks, 28 innings (10.71%) 2. Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks, 2 innings (100%) 3. Paul Webber — 2 ducks, 3 innings (66.67%) 4. Ray Dixon — 2 ducks, 5 innings (40%) 5. Adam Jackson — 2 ducks, 7 innings (28.57%) Simon Thirkell's 100% strike rate remains the number nobody wants to beat. 🍩 Next fixture looms, and with it the inevitable fresh crop of noughts. The exclusive zero club never closes its doors — see you at the crease. 🦆0️⃣

A quiet week down at Linton Park, and not in a good way. Four fixtures played across the period and, extraordinary as it sounds, not a single duck to report. Eleven-strong batting line-ups up and down the club got off the mark, ground out the singles, and generally declined to contribute to the cause. The Duck Club exists to celebrate the art of not scoring, and this week the membership collectively forgot how. Somewhere out there a bowler will have beaten the bat, rapped the pads, found the edge that didn't carry — and every single time, the fates conspired to let the batsman off. Frankly, disappointing scenes. The exclusive zero club held no induction ceremony this week, and the honours board gathers dust for another few days. Still, four blank matches is no reason for despair. The season is young, the bowlers are keen, and somewhere a batsman is one thick outside edge away from immortality. Normal service will surely resume. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏏🍩 🥇 Craig Sands — 3 ducks in 26 innings (11.5%) 🥈 Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks in 2 innings (100%) — a flawless start to the collection 🥉 Paul Webber — 2 ducks in 3 innings (66.7%) 4️⃣ Ray Dixon — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40%) 5️⃣ Ian Brattle — 1 duck in 1 innings (100%) — early doors, but the percentage doesn't lie Simon Thirkell and Ian Brattle sit on a perfect 100% strike rate for nought — truly a triumph through adversity, if adversity is measured in blank scorecards. So there we have it — a rare weekend where the Duck Club's nets came up empty. It won't last. Get out there next week, LPCC, and give the correspondent something to write about. 0️⃣🦆

A rare and unwelcome sight in the Duck Club diary this week: four fixtures played across the club, and not a single nought to report anywhere in the order. The zero club stood at its usual post, clipboard in hand, and went entirely unrewarded. Whether this was a triumph of application, a run of generous fielding, or simply eleven batters collectively refusing to cooperate with the correspondent, we cannot say. What we can say is that somewhere out there, the ducks evaded capture clean this week — not so much as a golden feather left behind. Rest assured, this drought is not expected to last. The season has already produced plenty of form with the bat that ends abruptly at nought, and normal service should resume before too long. Vigilance, as ever, remains the watchword — a duck is never more than one ball away. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 Craig Sands — 3 ducks, 23 innings, 13.04% 🥈 Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks, 2 innings, 100.0% 🍩 🥉 Paul Webber — 2 ducks, 3 innings, 66.67% 4. Ray Dixon — 2 ducks, 5 innings, 40.0% 5. Ian Brattle — 1 duck, 1 innings, 100.0% Simon Thirkell sits on a flawless 100% strike rate for the season so far — a remarkable if unenviable consistency, and one Ian Brattle is matching stride for stride from a smaller sample. Craig Sands leads the pack on volume alone, proof that quantity is very much its own kind of quality in this particular discipline. Next fixtures approach, and with them the near-certainty that this quiet spell breaks. Get your entries in early, gentlemen — the honours board waits for no one. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A quiet week down at Linton Park, and not in a good way. Five matches came and went across the club this week and, remarkably, not a single duck was laid. Eleven-a-side, five times over, and every single Linton bat found its way off the mark. The exclusive zero club held no inductions, no re-elections, and no fresh entries to the honours board. Frankly, it's the kind of form slump the Duck Club dreads most — competence breaking out all over the place. Whether this was watchful batting, generous bowling, or simply the ducks migrating elsewhere for the week, we cannot say. What we can say is that somewhere, a nought went unscored that really ought to have been scored, and the club is worse off for it. Do not mistake this for good news. A week without ducks is a week without theatre — no golden-duck gasps, no king pairs to gasp twice at, no walking back one ball in with that particular look of a man who has seen his whole innings flash before him. We live in hope that normal service — the art of not scoring, celebrated in all its dubious glory — resumes forthwith. 🍩 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🍩 1. Craig Sands — 3 ducks in 21 innings (14.29%) 2. Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks in 2 innings (100%) — a flawless start to a very particular kind of season 3. Paul Webber — 2 ducks in 3 innings (66.67%) 4. Ray Dixon — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40%) 5. Ian Brattle — 1 duck in 1 innings (100%) — early days, but a perfect record all the same Simon Thirkell and Ian Brattle currently sit on a pristine 100% duck rate between them — true triumph through adversity, and a standard the rest of the chasing pack would do well to aspire to. 📅 Onward to the next round of fixtures, where surely — surely — someone will do the decent thing and nick one down the leg side for nought. The Duck Club never sleeps, even in weeks like this one. We watch. We wait. We celebrate — next time, hopefully, with something to celebrate. 🦆 0️⃣ 🏏

Four fixtures on the card this week, but the zero club kept remarkably quiet until Tuesday's home date with Hollingbourne CC delivered a tidy brace of noughts to keep the honours boards ticking along nicely. 🏏 Twenty20 v Hollingbourne CC (home, 27 June) In at first drop, Richard Piper departed for his first duck of the season — c Pete Hinks b Robert Clark — bringing up career duck number 42 from 306 innings, good enough for 17th on the all-time Linton list. Piper arrives with serious furniture already on the wall: Duck of the Year 2003, top-10 finishes on both the Ducks on the Road and Lone Duck charts, a Homebody Duck top-tenner, and the rare and faintly ridiculous distinction of a Full House — a duck recorded at every position from 1 to 11. He now sits level on 42 with Mike Elworthy, who played 1982 to 2006 and needed 455 innings to reach the same total — Piper's getting there in considerably fewer, for what that's worth. Down at six, Craig Sands chalked up his third duck of the season — c Ray Osborne b D Ford — moving to 7 career ducks from 156 innings and 119th on the all-time standings. He draws level on 7 with Adam Jackson, who played 2001 to 2006 and reached the same tally in just 79 innings. Sands, evidently, prefers the scenic route. The remaining three matches across the period were, disappointingly, entirely fowl-free — every batter got off the mark, denying the club any further ceremony this week. 📊 Week in Summary 2 ducks from 4 matches, both arriving on the same Hollingbourne afternoon. Not a vintage week for the connoisseur, but Craig Sands is quietly building a case, having now landed three of his own this season and sitting top of the pile below. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Craig Sands — 3 ducks / 18 innings (16.7%) 2. Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks / 2 innings (100%) 3. Paul Webber — 2 ducks / 3 innings (66.7%) 4. Ray Dixon — 2 ducks / 5 innings (40%) 5. Ian Brattle — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) Sands leads the chase on volume, but Thirkell's flawless record remains the purest achievement on offer — undiluted failure, right there in the calculator. 🦆 Next fixture, next opportunity. The ducks never sleep for long — see you all pitchside for the inevitable additions.

A quieter week in the paddock — six matches contested, and the Zero Club welcomed just four new entries to the register. Modest pickings, but every nought counts. Saturday 17 June Away at Shipbourne, the 1st XI's Stewart Morrison strode out at seven and departed almost as promptly, bowled by Simon Price without troubling the scorers. It's his first duck of the summer and the 39th of an extraordinarily consistent career, vaulting him to 20th in the all-time standings out of 1,321 hopefuls. A veteran of the Debutante Duck club since his very first innings all those years ago, a Duck of the Year alumnus from 2000, a fixture of the Lone Duck top 10, and — cruelly — stuck one position shy of the coveted Full House with ducks at 10 of 11 batting spots. His brother Phillip is also on the books with 2 of his own, so it clearly runs in the family. Rather neatly, on this very date back in 1997 Adrian Caddick (1993–2004) also fell against Maidstone Teachers — history repeating itself, one Saturday at a time. Back on home soil against Rumwood, the 2nd XI's Mike Elworthy joined the party at number five, bowled by R Feltham. His season account opens with career duck number 42, good enough for 16th all-time. A proud member of the Tourist Duck top 10, Mike clearly does his best work on the road — quite the opposite of how he got out this time. And by pleasing coincidence, this too was the anniversary of Adrian Caddick's 1997 effort against Maidstone Teachers, meaning two Linton men separately honoured the same long-dead duck on the same date. Sunday 18 June At home to Buckhurst, Sunday 2nd XI opener Daniel McCarthy fell for nought in just his second senior innings, bowled by T Axtell. Early days in the Duck Club yet — one duck from two knocks — but he's already found kindred company: Graham Walker (1998–2006) sits on the exact same solitary tally from a rather more patient 54 innings. Some arrive at the club quickly, others take the scenic route. Monday 19 June The Twenty20 dash against East Sutton claimed Chris Newman, bowled by Darren Thompson at first drop. It's his seventh career duck from 34 innings, ranking 117th of 1,321 — and levels him precisely with Adam Jackson (2001–2006, 78 innings), a fellow member of the sevens club. Chris also carries fine pedigree here: father Clive Newman is a long-serving Duck Club man himself with 16 to his name, so the art of not scoring is evidently hereditary. Week in summary Four ducks from six matches, spread politely across four different teams and not a single repeat offender — everyone content with their own solitary nought this week. No pairs, no families, no king ducks to report. A restrained showing, but the season is young yet. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 - Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks from 2 innings (100%) - Paul Webber — 2 ducks from 3 innings (66.7%) - Ray Dixon — 2 ducks from 4 innings (50%) - Craig Sands — 2 ducks from 15 innings (13.3%) - Ian Brattle — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) Simon Thirkell holds a perfect and faintly alarming record so far — can anyone catch him before the season turns? Next fixture, same nets, same stumps, same invitation: bring your ducks, we'll be watching. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Four fixtures, three ducks, and the exclusive zero club welcomes its latest inductees. Not a vintage weekend for volume, but quality over quantity has never been the Duck Club's motto anyway — quantity is. Saturday — 1st XI away at Sheldwich CC Ray Dixon departed at number nine, bowled by David Prior without scoring — his 2nd duck of the season and, remarkably, his 2nd career duck from just 3 innings. That's a 100% strike rate in the art of not scoring, and it lands him 315th of 1320 in the all-time reckoning. He now sits level with Ollie Howarth, who plied his trade for Linton 2004–2006 and needed 8 innings to reach the same tally — Ray's getting there rather more efficiently. Hot on his heels came Adam Jackson, caught by the ever-present David Prior off Ron Brown at number ten. His 1st duck of the campaign but 7th of a long career spanning 76 innings, good enough for 116th all-time. On this very day back in 1961, Robert Wood was doing exactly the same thing against Tovil, on his way to 21 career ducks and a place on the Debutante Duck board. Worth noting Adam isn't the only Jackson in the noughts business either — sibling Rob Jackson carries 13 career ducks of his own, so the low-scoring gene clearly runs in the family. Sunday — 1st XI at home to Knockers CC Daniel Thirkell fell at number four, caught Ben Rumary bowled S-Slater — his 1st duck of the season and 21st of a marathon 329-innings career, ranking 52nd of 1320 and a proud member of the Tourist Duck top 10. He now draws level on 21 with Michael Beeney, who reached the same total in 177 innings between 1995 and 2006, a Diamond Duck and Retirement Duck honours-board man to boot. And if the surname looked familiar, that's no coincidence — the Thirkell clan are practically Duck Club royalty, with John (90), Tim (78), Nigel (57), Simon (53) and Christopher (22) all deep into their own career tallies. Daniel is very much carrying on the family tradition, whether he likes it or not. Week in Summary Three ducks from four matches — a modest harvest, but each one a small addition to the club's ever-growing tapestry of ignominy. No pairs, no golden ducks, no family doubles this week, just three honest men walking back for nought in their own good time. 🦆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🦆 - Ray Dixon — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100% - Simon Thirkell — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100% - Paul Webber — 3 innings, 2 ducks, 66.67% - Craig Sands — 12 innings, 2 ducks, 16.67% - Adam Jackson — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% Ray Dixon and Simon Thirkell share top spot on a perfect record so far — flawless consistency of a very particular kind. Craig Sands meanwhile proves that persistence pays, grinding out 12 innings just to keep his name in lights. Next fixtures loom, and with them the inevitable next chapter. Bat carefully out there — or don't, and give the correspondent something to write about. 🍩0️⃣🏏

Five fixtures out on the club circuit this week, and the zero club kept its books modestly but proudly balanced with three fresh entries. Slim pickings, but quality over quantity, as ever in this most exclusive of societies. Saturday – 2nd XI away at Shipbourne CC Ray Dixon, batting at 8, was bowled by Mark Agate to open this week's account — his maiden career duck, taking him to 1 for the season and 1 for his career from just 2 innings. Early days on the honours board, but Ray already finds kindred company: Graham Walker, who turned out for Linton between 1998 and 2006 across 52 innings, sits on that very same solitary nought. Sunday – 2nd XI at home to Underriver CC A brace for the Sunday side. Promoted to number 2, Ollie Howarth was bowled by Nick Watson without scoring — his 2nd career duck from 8 innings, and his first of the season. He draws level on career ducks with Paul Webber, whose 2006 arrival brought 2 ducks from just 3 innings, and who — handily — currently sits second in this very season's leaderboard. Down at 7, Joe Martin holed out caught and bowled by Oli Pendered for nought, his 3rd career duck from 15 innings and his first of the campaign. Joe is a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, having opened his Linton account with a duck some seasons back, and now finds a namesake in career terms too — James Piper, a veteran of 1998–2006 across 37 innings, also sits on exactly 3. Elsewhere The remaining three fixtures across the club came back empty-handed for the zero club this week — the ducks, it seems, went into hiding everywhere else. A quiet weekend in the great scheme of things — three ducks from five matches — but the club never turns away new members, however modest the haul, and consistency of this particular kind is always welcome. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Simon Thirkell — 2 innings, 2 ducks (100%) 2. Paul Webber — 3 innings, 2 ducks (66.67%) 3. Craig Sands — 10 innings, 2 ducks (20%) 4. Ian Brattle — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 5. Ollie Howarth — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) Ollie's early-season nought already has him nosing into the top five — plenty of fixtures left for the rest of the field to catch him, or indeed for him to be caught himself. Next match, next opportunity. The zero club's doors remain very much open. 🦆🏏

Three fixtures out on the paddock this weekend and, in the end, only one of them coughed up a nought — but what it lacked in quantity it made up for in pedigree. Two ducks, one ground, one opposition: Sheldwich CC clearly fancied their bowling. 🏏 2nd XI v Sheldwich CC (home) First to the log was club statesman Simon Thirkell, lbw to Simon Smith without troubling the scorers — his 2nd duck of the campaign and a positively aristocratic 53rd for his LPCC career, good enough for 9th on the all-time list of 1,319. Simon arrives this week already garlanded for the 2006 season — Duck of the Year, and the grim distinction of a Runaway Duck, a whole season so far without so much as a single run to his name — on top of standing honours in the 50 Before a 50, Ducks on the Road top ten and Tourist Duck top ten. On this very day back in 1989, brother Tim Thirkell — the club's all-time No.3 duck-getter on 78 — was doing exactly the same thing against Castle Hill CC, Kent. The Thirkell name is, in this particular ledger, something of a dynasty: father, siblings and offspring between them carry a kin ledger getting on for 270 career ducks, and Simon keeps the family flame burning nicely. Moments later Ian Hollingworth was run out for nought at No.10, "unsure" whose call it was and rather beside the point once the bails were off. It's his 1st duck of the season and 4th for his LPCC career, sliding him into 169th on the all-time chart. He now sits level on career ducks with Andrew Kember, whose entire senior career — 4 ducks in 12 innings, back in 1985 — began and ended inside the club's Quack-to-Quack club, a duck on debut followed by a duck on farewell. Good company to keep, even if neither man would call it that. 📅 The other two fixtures went duck-free — batsmen everywhere, for once, declining the club's hospitality. 🍩 Week in numbers: 2 ducks from 3 matches, both at the same ground on the same day. Not exactly an epidemic, but Sheldwich CC did their bit for the cause of not scoring. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Paul Webber — 2 ducks in 2 innings (100%) - Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks in 2 innings (100%) - Craig Sands — 2 ducks in 8 innings (25%) - Ian Brattle — 1 duck in 1 innings (100%) - Samuel Harris — 1 duck in 1 innings (100%) Early doors yet, but the 100% club is looking suspiciously crowded. Next fixture, same invitation stands: middle stump, straight ball, and a warm welcome into the exclusive zero club awaits. 🦆0️⃣

Five fixtures, five ducks, and the 2006 vintage is already taking shape nicely. Saturday 13 May 1st XI at home to Headcorn CC saw Craig Sands stumped by Pete Gibbs off Rob Mansell's bowling. His second duck of the season and sixth of a 145-innings career sits him 128th all-time, level with Chris Newman, who reached the same half-dozen in a much brisker 29 innings between 2002 and 2006. Away at Headcorn, the 2nd XI's Jack Jenner was caught by Paul Millen off Ian Barker for his fifth career duck, 148th on the all-time roll and a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell - no plans to repeat the trick just yet, we trust. On this very day in 1961, William Agate made his own duck against Charles Arkcoll, one of just three he'd ever register. Sunday 14 May Chevening Amblers accounted for Sunday 1st's Ian Brattle, bowled Paul Kent at seven - his 48th career duck from 146 innings, an imperious 11th on the all-time table. Ian's honours cabinet is groaning: Debutante Duck from his first-ever knock, seven Ducks in a Row, membership of the elite 50 Before a 50 club, and an Only Two Quacks pairing with Michael Beeney - handy, since brother Paul Brattle contributes another 26 career ducks to the family collection. On this day in 1978, Allan Cooper ducked against High Halstow CC, one of 38 in a career that spawned three separate Only Two Quacks pairings. Over at Cranbrook, the 2nd XI had a torrid time. Paul Webber, bowled Hugh Alderwick, took his tally to two ducks from two senior innings - a flawless and faintly alarming 100% - adding to the Debutante Duck badge he already owns from that very first knock. Last man Thomas Beeney was run out for nought, his second career duck from eight, and a fellow Debutante Duck member with a place on the Ducks on the Road top ten. His parent Michael Beeney - the very man in Ian Brattle's Only Two Quacks pairing above - carries 21 career ducks of his own, so the surname is earning its keep twice over this week. Both Cranbrook victims share their duck-day with Allan Cooper's 1978 effort. 📊 The Week Five ducks from five fixtures, with Cranbrook alone supplying two of them - the 2nd XI's top and tail both back in the pavilion without scoring. One fixture in the period escaped entirely duck-free, presumably to everyone's quiet relief. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Paul Webber - 2 ducks / 2 innings (100%) 2. Craig Sands - 2 ducks / 7 innings (29%) 3. Ian Brattle - 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 4. Samuel Harris - 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 5. Simon Thirkell - 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) Next weekend brings fresh opposition and, doubtless, fresh candidates for the honours board. The zero club never sleeps. 🦆🍩0️⃣

The 2006 season is barely a fortnight old and already the exclusive zero club has three fresh inductees to process. Two matches did the damage, a third got away clean, and one name in particular is shaping up to make this a season to remember for all the wrong reasons. Saturday — 2nd XI v Rumwood CC Simon Thirkell departed for nought at number four, bowled by Ben Powell. A first duck of the summer, but hardly his first rodeo — this is career duck number 52 from 236 innings, good (bad?) enough for 9th on the all-time leaderboard of 1317. Simon already sits proudly in the 50 Before a 50 club (59 ducks, high score a mere 48), has Duck of the Year honours from 1983 and 2001 tucked away, and looks the man to catch for the 2006 crown too. More alarming still, he's deep into a Runaway Duck campaign — an entire season so far without a run to his name, the art of not scoring elevated to high ceremony. On this very date back in 2001, Stewart Morrison (1987–2005, 38 ducks, 22nd all-time) also strolled back for nought, against Willesborough CC. And the Thirkell name is a duck dynasty in its own right — siblings Tim (78) and Nigel (57), forebear John (90), plus Christopher (22), Daniel (20), Tom and Stuart (1 apiece) all keeping the family average firmly grounded. Sunday — 2nd XI v Norton Sports CC Norton Sports proved a fertile hunting ground, claiming two victims in the same innings. Paul Webber marked his LPCC debut in the most traditional fashion — lbw to Dale Pout, nought at number eight, straight onto the Debutante Duck honours board on his very first appearance. He joins Graham Walker (1998–2006, 50 innings) level on one career duck apiece. One place below him, Samuel Harris was bowled by James Beech for his second career duck from just five innings, slotting in at 318th of 1317 all-time. Samuel is also a long-standing member of the Retirement Duck board from a previous farewell that, evidently, didn't stick. He draws level on two career ducks with Joe Martin (2004–2006, 13 innings). The Week in Numbers Three matches, three ducks, and Norton Sports doing double duty as the weekend's chief poultry supplier. One fixture escaped entirely unscathed — for now. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Paul Webber — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Samuel Harris — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Simon Thirkell — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Craig Sands — 4 innings, 1 duck, 25% Early days yet, but the field is wide open. Next fixture is never far away — get your bat pads on, and let's see who joins the club this time. 🦆🏏0️⃣

The 2006 Duck Hunting Season creaks into life this weekend, and true to early-season form the ducks kept a low profile — just the one sighted across two fixtures. Quality over quantity, as the exclusive zero club likes to say. Saturday 29th April 1st XI v The Mote CC (home) Craig Sands, promoted to first drop, became the club's first name on the 2006 honours board, bowled by Roger Selleck without troubling the scorers. It's his 1st duck of the fresh season and the 5th of a career now spanning 141 innings, easing him to 144th of 1315 in the all-time table — a place of dubious distinction he'll be keen not to get too comfortable in. Neatly enough, on this very day back in 1962, John Ames also strolled back for nought, against Maidstone AKCC of all sides. Ames went on to make an art form of the duck — 49 of them across a quarter-century (1952–1978), good enough for 10th all-time, four consecutive ducks in a row among his charms, and a name that still turns up in the club's Quacking Together pairings. Craig has, mercifully, a fair way to go to catch him. Sunday 30th April Elsewhere across the weekend bat and ball behaved themselves rather better — no further additions to the ledger. The ducks, for now, evaded further capture. Week in Summary 2 matches, 1 duck. A gentle season-opener by Duck Club standards — last year's overachievers can rest easy, but the campaign is young and the exclusive zero club never stays quiet for long. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Craig Sands — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.3% An early season table of one is a lonely sort of leadership — Craig currently tops it purely for want of competition. Plenty of time yet for the chasing pack to make their entrance. 🦆 The season stretches out ahead, and with it the promise of golden ducks, king pairs, and the odd family affair. Get out there next weekend and make your case for the honours board — for better or, preferably, for nought. 0️⃣

A quiet one this week, Duck Hunters. One match played across the club on the 22nd, and for once the fielding side went home empty-handed — not a single batsman could be tempted into the exclusive zero club. Not a golden duck, not a pair, not so much as a whisper of a king pair. The art of not scoring took the week off. Whether this was a triumph of application at the crease or simply eleven batsmen refusing to cooperate with the correspondent's copy is, as ever, a matter for debate. Either way, the ducks evaded capture entirely — no new entries to the honours board, no milestones ticked over, no near-misses on 1 to torment us with what might have been. 📊 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard Early doors yet — the 2006 season has barely got its boots on, and the tally sheet is still blank. No runs on the board, so to speak, in the one column where nobody actually wants runs. Give it a fortnight; club history suggests it never stays this tidy for long. 🦆 Looking ahead Somewhere out there, a batsman is already shouldering arms to one that's straightening, or shuffling across his stumps for no good reason. The ducks are not gone, merely resting. Get the willow out, gentlemen — the exclusive zero club always has room for one more, and the season is young enough that this week's blank slate won't last. We watch. We wait. We celebrate — next week, hopefully, with something to celebrate.