🦆 The Duck Pond

🏏 Well now. The eleven took the field, the willow was wielded, and — most unusually for these pages — not a single duck's egg was laid to report. A match played, evidently, without incident of the ignominious variety. There is, in truth, precious little for your correspondent to embellish this week. No batsman walked back before troubling the scorer, no golden duck was hatched, no pair was suffered, and no unhappy family gathered twice at the pavilion gate. The exclusive zero club, it seems, held no meeting this Saturday — its members, one presumes, all found their timing, or at least their luck. One might almost call it a disappointment. The art of not scoring is a fine and testing discipline, practised by only the bravest of souls, and this week the willow-wielders of Linton Park declined the invitation entirely. We trust it shall not become a habit. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - E Hayes — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - X Rayner — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% Slim pickings atop the table this season, though E Hayes sits at a rather emphatic full house, and X Rayner is not far removed. Plenty of season left, gentlemen, for the ducks to make their return. Until the next fixture, then — when we trust the eleven will oblige us with rather more material. The pavilion gate awaits its next pilgrim.

Two more names are inscribed upon the honours board this week, both claimed at Castle Hill CC, Kent, where the eleven's lower order once again proved rather better at walking off than staying in. 1st XI — away to Castle Hill CC X Rayner, sent in at number eight, was stumped by Albert Perryman off the bowling of Edward Knight and thereby enrolled himself in the exclusive zero club on his very first outing for the eleven — a debut duck, the purest kind of welcome the game can offer. It is his 1st duck of the season, and, being his maiden innings, his 1st in a career now formally begun, leaving him 178th of 458 upon the club's long roll of dubious distinction. He arrives, too, already a name upon the Retirement Duck board, that solemn register reserved for those whose final recorded innings ended in nought — though we trust Rayner's own farewell lies a good many summers off yet, and that this is merely the first chapter of a longer story. Curiously, on this very date in 1899, one F Smith likewise trudged back to the pavilion for nought against Sutton Valence School, the calendar drawing the two gentlemen together across forty years of shared misfortune. E Hayes, last man in at number eleven, was bowled by David Hodges without so much as troubling the scorer, and racks up his 1st duck of the season and 3rd of his career — a duck in every one of his three innings to date, a consistency few could hope to rival and fewer still would wish to. He stands 25th of 458 on the all-time list, and carries the Duck of the Year honours for both 1937 and, most pertinently, the present season of 1939 — a title he seems intent on defending with unusual thoroughness. He too shares his day with F Smith's duck of 1899, forty summers gone but evidently not forgotten. Week in summary One match, one duck's egg apiece for the bottom of the order — the middle order played the straighter bat, leaving positions eight and eleven to carry the club's honour, such as it is. Early days in the season yet, but with Mr Hayes averaging a duck an innings and Mr Rayner already keeping distinguished company on the honours boards, the tail shows every sign of being this year's chief source of entertainment. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - E Hayes — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - X Rayner — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% Early honours shared evenly between our two contributors. The eleven takes the field again before long, and the zero club stands ready, as ever, to welcome new members with open arms and straight faces.