🦆 The Duck Pond

A Chronicle of Ciphers — the 12th of August, 1867 1st XI A single name is entered upon the roll this week, and let it be recorded with all due ceremony. Mr G A K Simpson, sent in at number ten against the First Innings of Leeds Park CC upon home ground, was undone by the combination of J C Crawford's bowling and W Roper's safe hands in the field, departing caught for nought. That this was his very first innings for the club renders the achievement the more remarkable — few gentlemen manage to inaugurate a career with quite such economy of effort, and the Duck Club is pleased to welcome him to its exclusive and ever-lengthening roll, in which his single cipher already secures him eighth place among forty-three names so honoured. In this distinction he is not alone in history. One E Price, who turned out for the eleven between 1860 and 1864, likewise retired upon a single duck across three innings, and rests to this day sixth upon the very same roll. Mr Simpson may take what comfort he can in such distinguished, if scoreless, company. The Week in Brief One match, one innings of note, one gentleman sent back to the pavilion without troubling the scorer. A quiet week for the timbers, all told, though the season's ledger continues to swell by modest increments, as these things do. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - J Simpson — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100% - T Tomson — 3 innings, 2 ducks, 66.7% - G A K Simpson — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - R J Bennett — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% - T Philpott — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% The correspondent notes with interest that Mr J Simpson stands at a perfect record of failure this season, a feat of consistency that must surely be admired even as it is regretted. The eleven take the field again presently, and the Gazette has every confidence that fresh material for these columns will not be long in arriving. Members are cordially invited to attend, bat bravely, and — should fortune desert them — to bear their ducks with the good humour this club has always required of its membership.

🏏 A modest fixture against Staplehurst CC this week, but the exclusive zero club is never long without new correspondence, and two of our number have duly written themselves in. 1st XI - R J Bennett, sent in at number seven, was bowled by J Orpin without registering a run, and thereby opens his account with the club — his maiden innings, and a maiden duck to mark it, which is one way of making an entrance. It is his 1st duck of the season and the 1st of his career from 2 innings, placing him 11th of 39 on the all-time roll of dubious distinction. He now sits level with a whole company of gentlemen on a single career cipher, among them J Woollett, himself Duck of the Year in 1865 — modest company, but company all the same. - W Goad, at number five, was bowled by S H Burden for nought, his 1st duck of this season but his 2nd for the career, from 5 innings all told, and he rises to 5th of 39 on the club's melancholy ledger. In this he draws level with C French Snr, who claimed the Duck of the Year honour in 1864 on the very same tally — proof, if proof were needed, that two ducks in a career is no bar to distinguished company. The Week in Summary A brief but productive afternoon for the timbers: two of our batsmen dismissed without scoring, both at Staplehurst, both bowled rather than caught or run out — a clean sweep for the bowlers, and a fresh entry apiece in the honours book. No pairs, no golden ducks, and no family affairs to report this week, the ignominy being confined to individual endeavour. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. J Simpson — 2 ducks in 2 innings (100%) 2. T Tomson — 2 ducks in 2 innings (100%) 3. R J Bennett — 1 duck in 2 innings (50%) 4. T Philpott — 1 duck in 2 innings (50%) 5. J Amies — 1 duck in 4 innings (25%) The season standings remain keenly contested at the summit, with Messrs Simpson and Tomson yet to trouble the scorer on a single occasion this year — a perfect record, of its kind. We look ahead with quiet confidence to the next fixture, at which the club's honours board may well be further enriched. Members are reminded that the art of not scoring requires no practice whatsoever, and the timbers stand ready to receive all comers.

Our correspondent takes up his pen to record a melancholy but instructive afternoon against Leeds Park CC, in which the eleven contributed no fewer than seven ducks' eggs to the ledger from a single innings — a showing that will not soon be forgotten by those concerned. 1st XI T Gandy opened proceedings by being bowled by J C Crawford, his first duck of the season and the first of his career in four completed innings, placing him tenth of the four-and-thirty gentlemen who maintain residence in the club's rolls of dubious distinction. He joins E Price, whose own solitary duck was recorded some seasons past, on a tally of one apiece. J Amies, appearing in only his second innings for the club, was run out without troubling the scorer — a debut duck in the fullest sense, and a sobering welcome to the exclusive zero club. He too sits level with Mr Price on a single career cipher. T Tomson was twice dismissed by F F Crawford's bowling in the course of the day's play, first for a plain nought and then, later in the same fixture, for a second — a grim pair, and his second and now his career-defining feature, standing at two ducks from three innings. In this unhappy symmetry he draws level with C French Snr, whose two ducks earned him the Duck of the Year honour in 1864, and with F Daniels, similarly garlanded in 1860. J Simpson, likewise in only his second innings for the club, contrived the same feat as Mr Tomson — run out twice in the one match, for his first and second ducks of the season and of his career alike. Mr Simpson carries the singular distinction of Duck of the Year 1867 already inscribed to his name, a laurel earned in short order indeed, and now finds himself level with Mr Tomson, Mr French and Mr Daniels on two apiece. T Philpott, run out for his solitary contribution, brings his career tally to one duck in four innings, twelfth upon the honours list, and joins the same gathering of single-duck gentlemen as Mr Gandy and Mr Amies. A Summary of the Day's Misfortunes Seven ducks were recorded in the one fixture against Leeds Park CC — a showing of consistency, if nothing else, and proof once again that the art of not scoring remains alive and well at Linton Park. Two of our number, Messrs Tomson and Simpson, achieved the rare distinction of a pair apiece, each managing to be dismissed twice without the inconvenience of scoring, though neither quite achieved the golden ignominy of a king pair — some small mercy was shown them by the bowling, if not by fortune. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - J Simpson — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100% - T Tomson — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100% - J Amies — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% - T Gandy — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% - T Philpott — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% The season stands but young, yet already a keen contest for the wooden spoon is under way. Members are respectfully reminded that the next fixture offers every opportunity for further additions to this distinguished roll, and the correspondent awaits the outcome with his customary mixture of dread and delight.