🦆 The Duck Pond

A quiet week at Linton Park, and for once the eleven have nothing to answer for. The Week's Ducks Not a single egg was laid this Saturday. The bowlers hunted, no doubt, with their usual cunning, but every batsman at the crease this week found a way to troouble the scorer for at least one run — a sticky wicket, evidently, for the ducks rather than the ducked. The exclusive zero club, so used to welcoming new members most weekends, must for once content itself with admiring its existing roll of honour from a respectful distance. Week in Summary One match played, nought ducks laid — a rare and faintly suspicious state of affairs for a club whose very purpose is the chronicling of noughts. Whether this reflects a sudden and alarming outbreak of good form, or merely that the bowling wanted its usual sting, the committee declines to speculate. The Duck Club's records remain, this week, entirely undisturbed. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Frank Sutton — 10 innings, 4 ducks, 40.0% - B Westover — 14 innings, 4 ducks, 28.57% - W- Barton — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100.0% - Phil Bowles — 4 innings, 2 ducks, 50.0% - Joe Fenner — 9 innings, 2 ducks, 22.22% Frank Sutton continues to lead the chase with quiet consistency, while young W- Barton's perfect record of two innings and two ducks remains, for the moment, a rather remarkable achievement of pure, unblemished failure — a hundred per cent is a hundred per cent, after all, whichever direction one takes it. The Club extends its commiserations to no one this week, and its congratulations to the eleven for a job, in the strictest sporting sense, well done. Normal service — a straight bat undone, a plucky knock cut short, the tail wagging briefly before subsiding — will no doubt resume at the next fixture, and the committee awaits fresh nominations to the zero club with its customary and undimmed enthusiasm.

Frank Sutton, sent in at number seven, was caught by L. White off the bowling of F. Whale — a tidy piece of work by the visitors that returned him for his fourth duck of the summer and the fifth of a career now seventeen innings long, a standing that holds firm at ninth in the club's roll of four hundred and eighty seven. He carries, too, the season's Duck of the Year crown for 1940 upon his head this year, a distinction he shows no sign of relinquishing just yet. Curiously, this very date in 1895 saw J. Lampard also stroll back for nought, against Maidstone CC — history, it seems, keeps a calendar of its own. At number nine Dennis Smith was bowled by F. Berry, his first duck of the season and of a modest career, the tenth innings of which now stands at hundredth upon the club's long ledger. He belongs, besides, to that solemn company who keep the Retirement Duck — those presumed, in the fullness of time, to have bowled out on a nought of their own — whether this proves prophetic is a question for some later season. He shares, too, his date with the aforementioned Mr Lampard of 1895. And last of all B. Westover, number eleven, likewise bowled by F. Berry, brought up his fourth duck of the season, level with his career tally after thirteen innings — good enough for twelfth place in the club's long records. He walked out on the same 10th of August that once claimed J. Lampard forty-five years before. The Week in Brief Three ducks from one fixture is honest work, and Tovil's bowlers Whale and Berry did the damage between them, Berry alone accounting for two of the three — a fine display of accurate length against a middle and lower order that found the sticky moments too sticky by half. The Eleven's tail, it must be said, did not so much wag as lie quite still. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Frank Sutton — 10 innings, 4 ducks, 40.0% 2. B. Westover — 13 innings, 4 ducks, 30.8% 3. W. Barton — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100.0% 4. Phil Bowles — 4 innings, 2 ducks, 50.0% 5. Joe Fenner — 8 innings, 2 ducks, 25.0% The next fixture awaits, and with it, no doubt, fresh candidates for the club's most exclusive and least sought-after honour. Until then, the ducks rest easy in their nest.

🏏 A quiet Saturday at Linton Park, and for once the exclusive zero club has nothing fresh to add to its rolls. One match played, and not a single duck's egg to report from it — the eleven, it seems, played rather straighter bats than usual, and the art of not scoring went entirely unpractised. We shall not pretend to manufacture drama where none occurred. Sometimes a wicket falls only after runs have been accumulated, however modest, and the Club must simply tip its cap and wait for next week's inevitable harvest. The ducks, in short, evaded capture — but they will be back, as they always are. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard, 1940 - Frank Sutton — 9 innings, 3 ducks, 33.33% - B Westover — 12 innings, 3 ducks, 25.00% - W- Barton — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100.00% - Phil Bowles — 4 innings, 2 ducks, 50.00% - Joe Fenner — 8 innings, 2 ducks, 25.00% Spare a thought for W- Barton, presently batting at a full hundred per cent failure rate — a plucky effort, if not quite the one intended, and one that leaves rather less room for improvement than one might hope. The rest of the table ploughs on in honest pursuit of the golden egg. Members are reminded that the season is young yet, and the wicket at Linton Park has a well-earned reputation for turning sticky at the least convenient moment. We look forward, with our customary mixture of dread and delight, to the next fixture furnishing the Club with fresh material — until then, the ducks rest, but do not retire.

A week of two fixtures, both played at home, and both offering their tribute to the exclusive zero club. Six batsmen walked out and walked straight back again, duck's egg intact, in what the eleven might charitably call a sticky patch for the top and middle order. 1st XI - Bert Buckoke — bowled Percy M King without scoring against Bearsted, his second duck of the season and the fourth of a career now three-and-twenty innings deep, holding him at 11th of 483 on the Club's all-time roll of dishonour. A Duck of the Year laureate from 1928, still wearing the ribbon with quiet pride. On this very day in 1906, R W Mitchell also strolled back for nought, against the Royal West Kent Regiment CC's Officers XI — kindred failure across the decades. - Phil Bowles — last man in and soon enough last man out, accounted for by F A Simmonds. His second duck of the season, and remarkably his second in only three innings for the Club — a start to remember for all the wrong reasons. He too finds fellowship with R W Mitchell's duck of 1906. - J Short, at Boughton Monchelsea, bowled by P Rye — his maiden duck of the season, and the first of a career twelve innings old, ranking him 139th of 483. He joins A Barker, of the 1885 vintage, level on one apiece. - Herbert Rayner — caught A Jarrett, bowled Gordon Fenner, for nought in the same innings. His first duck of the campaign, in a career of fifteen knocks, placing him 129th on the roll. Like Mr Short, he keeps A Barker company on a single career duck. - B Westover — bowled P Rye, his third duck of the season and of a career already numbering three in but eleven innings, a rate of failure that carries him to 25th of 483. He stands level with A Kent, who achieved the same in the single busy season of 1893. - Don Hartridge — bowled D Hoadley, his second duck of the season and of his career, ten innings old, and 41st on the all-time table. He shares his tally with B W Haynes, who played between 1891 and 1910. The week in brief Six ducks from two matches, the whole tally falling to the 1st XI, and the Boughton Monchelsea innings alone accounting for four of them — the middle order rather too fond of the pavilion steps on the 26th. P Rye may fairly claim the week's most productive spell, accounting for two of the six with the plainest of straight balls. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Frank Sutton — 8 innings, 3 ducks, 37.5% 2. B Westover — 11 innings, 3 ducks, 27.27% 3. W- Barton — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100.0% 4. Phil Bowles — 3 innings, 2 ducks, 66.67% 5. Joe Fenner — 7 innings, 2 ducks, 28.57% The eleven take the field again next week, and the ledger of nought stands ready, as ever, to receive fresh entries. Members are warmly invited to attend, bat straight, and — should fortune desert them — do so with the good grace this Club has come to expect.

🏏 A modest bag this week, but a home fixture against Loose CC has nonetheless swelled the club's already distinguished membership roll. Two eggs laid, both at home, both — pleasingly for the purposes of ceremony — off the bowling of the same gentleman. Let it be recorded. 1st XI Coming in at number seven, Ernie Chiesman played across a straight one from B- Kimber and was bowled, the innings concluding almost as soon as it began. This is his first duck of the season and the first of his career in eight innings — a rare visitor to these pages, and he arrives now at 104th of 483 in the club's all-time roll of dishonour. Members will note Mr Chiesman already holds a peculiar distinction on the honours board as a Retirement Duck man, having once bowed out of the game on a nought — though that, of course, is a tale for another summer, not this one. He now sits shoulder to shoulder with the venerable A Barker (1885–1904), level on a single career duck apiece — kindred spirits separated by some five and fifty years but united in the art of not scoring. Following him at number ten, B Westover contrived a still more unusual method of departure, dismissed hit wicket off the same B- Kimber — undone, it might be said, by his own footwork rather than the bowler's guile. This is his second duck of the season and his second in a career of nine innings, lodging him at 37th of 483 on the all-time list. He draws level on career ducks with B W Haynes, who compiled his own pair of ducks across nineteen innings between 1891 and 1910 — proof, if any were needed, that the zero has always been patiently waiting for batsmen of every era. The Week in Brief One match, two ducks, both at home, both at the hands of the visiting Mr Kimber, who may fairly claim to have had a profitable afternoon with the ball. A sticky sort of session for the lower order, though the eleven will doubtless reflect that a duck's egg or two is simply the game's way of keeping a man humble. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Frank Sutton — 8 innings, 3 ducks (37.5%) - W- Barton — 2 innings, 2 ducks (100.0%) - Joe Fenner — 7 innings, 2 ducks (28.57%) - B Westover — 9 innings, 2 ducks (22.22%) - Stan Pierce — 10 innings, 2 ducks (20.0%) The exclusive zero club stands ready to receive new members at the very next fixture — and on this form, gentlemen, the pavilion gate will not be idle for long.

A quiet week to report, and for once the news is that there is no news at all. One fixture was played in the period under review, and — remarkable as it may seem — not a single member of the Eleven troubled the scorer with a duck's egg. The exclusive zero club, so often swollen with new arrivals, admits no one this week. Whether this reflects a sudden and alarming outbreak of application at the crease, or merely a sticky wicket that favoured the bowlers too evenly to discriminate, the Committee declines to speculate. The ducks, in short, evaded capture — a state of affairs the Club trusts will prove temporary, for a Duck Report with nothing to report is a poor advertisement for the art of not scoring. Let it not be said, however, that the season's honours board stands empty. The following gentlemen continue to hold their heads — or rather, their bats — in the particular manner that has earned them their standing among this summer's foremost practitioners of the well-tried and the swiftly departed. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Frank Sutton — 7 innings, 3 ducks, 42.86%. A batsman evidently determined to make a habit of it, and doing so with real consistency. - W- Barton — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100%. A perfect record, in its way — every visit to the crease answered with the same plucky nought. - Joe Fenner — 7 innings, 2 ducks, 28.57%. Holding station in the middle order of misfortune. - Stan Pierce — 10 innings, 2 ducks, 20%. The old campaigner, weathering more innings than most before joining the fold. - Richard Harris — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100%. A single outing and already a fully paid-up member — a bold way to open one's account. The Committee notes that Mr Barton and Mr Harris, in particular, will want no encouragement to break their present run of perfect failure, while Mr Sutton and Mr Pierce may yet be persuaded that a straight bat and a longer stay at the wicket are not beyond a man's powers. The eleven return to the field next Saturday, and the Club has every confidence — nay, every hope — that fresh candidates for these dubious honours will present themselves in the usual manner. Members are warmly invited to attend, bat straight if they can manage it, and otherwise to make their contribution to the ledger with good grace. The zero club never closes its books for long.

A modest week for the Zero Club, yet a notable one — two new names step across the threshold and sign the book for the very first time. No pair, no king pair, and no family affair to record, but a debut is a debut, and the Club welcomes its own with the warmth due any fresh arrival, however unpromising the start. 1st XI - Richard Harris, going in at number eight against Linton Park CC on the 28th, was stumped by P- Richmond off the bowling of B- Kember without troubling the scorers. A first innings, and thus a first duck — the very earliest possible entry in a batting career, and by no means the worst way to be remembered, for every great average must begin somewhere. He takes his place at 158th of 483 in the Club's long and honourable roll. Curiously, on this very date in 1882, one J Sedgwick suffered an identical fate against Marden CC of Kent — separated by fifty-eight years, united by the same short walk back to the pavilion. 2nd XI - T- Jarrett, at number five in the same fixture, was taken by Dennis Smith off J Short, likewise for nought on his maiden appearance. A debut duck is no disgrace among gentlemen who have all, at one time or another, played a false stroke to a good ball — it is simply the price of admission. He enters the register at 169th of 483, and shares Mr Harris's curious distinction: on this same date in 1882, J Sedgwick was similarly dismissed against Marden CC, Kent, a pleasant little echo across the decades. The Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks, both freshly laid by debutants against Linton Park CC, both at home. A quiet week by the Club's usual standards, but a memorable one for two young men now permanently enrolled among the eleven's most select company — those who have played a straight bat to nothing at all. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Frank Sutton — 7 innings, 3 ducks, 42.86 per cent - W- Barton — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100 per cent - Joe Fenner — 7 innings, 2 ducks, 28.57 per cent - Stan Pierce — 9 innings, 2 ducks, 22.22 per cent - Phil Bowles — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100 per cent The season's leading lights continue their quiet mastery of the art of not scoring, and the Club has no doubt the coming fixtures will furnish further candidates for the honours board. Members are warmly encouraged to keep faith with their straight bats — or, failing that, to fall in style, for the Duck Club asks only ignominy, freely given.

A Chronicle of the Art of Not Scoring, Loose CC at Home Three of our number returned to the pavilion this week without troubling the scorers, and the exclusive zero club welcomes its latest subscribers with the usual solemn ceremony. 🏏 1st XI - Stan Pierce — undone lbw by H- Ogden at number four, his second duck's egg of the season and the second of his career in eight visits to the crease, a plucky but fruitless knock nonetheless. He now sits 63rd of 473 in the all-time roll of dishonour, level on a career pair of noughts with a whole coterie of fellow sufferers stretching back to the 1860s. And by happy coincidence of the calendar, on this very day in 1908 one S H Hills — himself a Duck of the Year laureate — likewise strolled back for nought, against 1st Innings Maidstone CC no less. History, it seems, has a fondness for the 8th of June. 🍩 - Don Hartridge — caught W- Ford, bowled H- Ogden, batting at six. A first career duck in five innings, and his name now stands at 98th of 473 on the club's ignoble register. He, too, finds himself in step with S H Hills' effort of 1908 — the wicketkeeper Ogden clearly enjoying his afternoon's work against our middle order. 0️⃣ - Phil Bowles — lbw to B- Kimber at number nine, and what a way to announce oneself: a genuine debut duck, the very first ball of a career now permanently and proudly inscribed. He joins the growing ranks 150th of 473 all-time, and shares his maiden nought with the same distinguished S H Hills of 1908. A sticky wicket indeed for a first outing, but every Duck Club career must begin somewhere. 🥇 Week in Summary One match, three ducks, and Loose CC's bowlers — H- Ogden with a brace and B- Kimber chipping in — did rather too fine a job of it against our order. The middle and tail both wagged the wrong way this Saturday, and the 8th of June continues its long tradition, going back at least to 1908, of being an unkind date for LPCC batsmen. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Frank Sutton — 6 innings, 3 ducks, 50.00% 2. W- Barton — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100.00% 3. Joe Fenner — 6 innings, 2 ducks, 33.33% 4. Stan Pierce — 7 innings, 2 ducks, 28.57% 5. Phil Bowles — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100.00% The season's leaders press on with a consistency of a very particular kind, and Master Bowles arrives already among their company. Roll on the next fixture, when the eleven will once more take guard against the bowlers' best endeavours — and, doubtless, add fresh names to this most dubious of honours boards.

A quiet week for the Duck Club's roll of honour, yet a quiet week is never quite silent — one gentleman answered the call to the crease and was back in the pavilion before the shine had left the ball. 1st XI Away at Tovil, and batting at number eight, Frank Sutton departed c H- Davis b D- Vane, walking back with nothing added to the total but his name added, once more, to the ledger. It is his third duck's egg of the 1940 season, and the fourth of a career now stretching to thirteen innings — a record that places him 15th of 471 in the whole long and honourable history of the club's noughts. He does so, moreover, already wearing the sash of Duck of the Year 1940, a distinction earned this very season by the time-honoured method of simply not scoring. A pleasing curiosity attends the date too — on this same day back in 1903 the Reverend W A Carr likewise strode to the wicket and returned for nought, against that self-same 1st Innings Maidstone CC. The calendar, it would seem, has its favourites. The Week in Brief One match, one duck, one gentleman carrying the club's colours into this week's record. Slender pickings for the scorer's pen, but every entry earned honestly, in the true and particular art of not scoring at all. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Frank Sutton — 6 innings, 3 ducks (50.0%) - W- Barton — 2 innings, 2 ducks (100.0%) - Joe Fenner — 6 innings, 2 ducks (33.33%) - B Westover — 5 innings, 1 duck (20.0%) - Bert Buckoke — 6 innings, 1 duck (16.67%) The eleven takes the field again next Saturday, and with it comes, no doubt, fresh candidates for this most exclusive of fellowships. May the tail wag, may the wicket hold true, and may some poor soul once more be persuaded to part with his egg for the club's delight.

A single duck's egg to record this week, but a choice one for the connoisseur — quality over quantity, as the old pros used to say. 🏏 1st XI Joe Fenner played on to D Smith without troubling the scorer, bowled — position three, no less, undone before he could settle. This is his 2nd duck of the season and the 2nd of a five-innings career, which places him 52nd of 471 in the club's long and dishonourable roll. Not his first brush with the art of not scoring, and by the look of that career column, not likely to be his last. A curious calendar echo attends this one — on this very day back in 1907, Allan Peach also strolled back to the pavilion for nought against Town Malling CC, so Joe keeps company across three decades with a fellow member of the exclusive zero club. 🍩 Week in Summary One match, one duck — the eleven otherwise kept their heads down and their bats straighter than usual. A quiet week for the Duck Club, but a quiet week is no bad thing when the alternative is explaining a king pair to the committee. The ducks, on this occasion, evaded the wider net — only Fenner answered the call. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. W- Barton — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100.0% 2. Frank Sutton — 5 innings, 2 ducks, 40.0% 3. Joe Fenner — 5 innings, 2 ducks, 40.0% 4. B Westover — 4 innings, 1 duck, 25.0% 5. Bert Buckoke — 5 innings, 1 duck, 20.0% W- Barton sits atop the table with a perfect record of imperfection — a full house of failure that will take some shifting. Until the next fixture, gentlemen — the wicket awaits, and so, inevitably, does the duck's egg. Do come along and see who joins the roll of dubious distinction next.

A modest afternoon at Staplehurst brought the eleven no fewer than four fresh entries to the roll of dishonour. The visiting side's attack found rather more success with the ball than our willow-wielders found with theirs, and the pavilion clock ticked round for four short walks back. Let it be recorded properly below. 1st XI at Staplehurst CC Opening the innings and opening the ledger, Joe Fenner was trapped leg-before to W Tipples without so much as a run to his name — his first duck's egg of the season, and the fourth of a still-young career. He joins the goodly company of A Barker, that stalwart of 1885 to 1904, on exactly one career duck apiece — kindred spirits separated by fifty-five years and united in nought. Not to be outdone, W- Barton fell at first wicket down, bowled by the same relentless Tipples, for his second duck of the season and, remarkably, his second in as many innings played for the club — a career average of failure that would make a mathematician wince. He keeps company with B W Haynes of the 1891-1910 vintage, level on two career ducks. At number six, Bert Buckoke was bowled by D Bearsby, his first duck of this season but the third of a distinguished career spanning fourteen innings — distinguished, that is, by his place on the Duck of the Year honours board for 1928, a title he holds still. He and the venerable A Kent of 1893 stand shoulder to shoulder on three career ducks each. And last but not least, Frank Sutton was caught behind off R Munn without scoring, his second duck of the season and third of his career — a career, one notes, that has already earned him this very season's Duck of the Year honour. A paid-up member of that particular club, and level with A Kent on three career ducks besides. The Week in Brief One match, four ducks, and the Staplehurst bowlers thoroughly enjoying their afternoon's work. A fairly one-sided procession to and from the crease, though it must be said the eleven bore it all with the customary good grace the game demands — there being, after all, a certain nobility in the art of not scoring. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - W- Barton — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100% - Frank Sutton — 4 innings, 2 ducks, 50% - B Westover — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33% - Bert Buckoke — 4 innings, 1 duck, 25% - Joe Fenner — 4 innings, 1 duck, 25% The season is young yet, and the wicket has plenty more sport in it. Members are cordially reminded that the next fixture waits for no one, and the eleven's batting order would do well to remember that a straight bat is worth more than a straight face. Until then, keep your egg cups at the ready.

A quiet week upon the county's grounds, with but a single member of the eleven making the short walk back to the pavilion without troubling the scorer. Two fixtures were played in the period, and only one duck's egg was laid between them — the Club's records shall note the occasion with due ceremony nonetheless, for a single duck properly observed is worth more than a dozen carelessly ignored. The First Eleven - B Westover, sent in at number ten against the George Fenner XI on home turf on the 13th, was smartly taken by Tom Osborn off the bowling of Jimmy Jameson and returned to the pavilion for nought. It is the first duck of his season, and the first of a career that has so far stretched to but two innings — he takes his place 78th of 471 in the Club's long and honourable roll of the dismissed, a fledgling entry in a very old book. Curiously, this very date has form: on this day in 1896, one X Gilbert likewise strolled back without score, against the Royal West Kent Regiment CC — separated by four and forty years, the two are united in the art of not scoring. The Week in Summary A single fixture yielded a wicket for nought and a single fixture yielded none at all — the ducks, it must be said, rather evaded the net this week, with the eleven mostly declining the invitation to join the exclusive zero club. Whether this reflects a sudden outbreak of good form or merely a want of opportunity, the Committee declines to speculate. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - W- Barton — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - B Westover — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% - Frank Sutton — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33% - Stan Pierce — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33% The season is yet young and the standings finely poised — Mr Barton leads by dint of a perfect record of imperfection, though the field will doubtless close as more innings are played. Members are warmly invited to the next fixture, where the bowlers shall no doubt be keen to add fresh names to the register, and the batsmen equally keen to disappoint them.

The eleven took the field against Marden CC of Kent this week, and though runs proved elusive for three of our number, the exclusive zero club welcomes its latest recruits with the usual solemn ceremony. 1st XI - W- Barton, in at four, was undone by S- Levett and returned to the pavilion with a duck's egg to his name — his very first innings for the club, and so a debut of the most memorable kind, if not the most desired. It stands as his maiden duck in a maiden innings, and places him 171st of 467 on the club's long roll of the scoreless. He joins A Barker (1885–1904), who also sits upon a single career duck, and who was himself crowned Duck of the Year as far back as 1885. - Stan Pierce, at five, likewise fell to the home attack, bowled by H- Harman for nought. This is his first duck in two innings for the club, setting him 156th of 467 on the all-time list, and, like Barton, he keeps company with A Barker on a tally of one apiece. - Frank Sutton, batting at seven, was also accounted for by H- Harman, and thereby collects his second career duck in eight innings, a performance that plants him a lofty 44th of 467 among the club's most practised exponents of not scoring. Sutton may take what comfort he can — or none at all — in already holding this season's Duck of the Year honour, the season being scarcely a month old and the distinction already spoken for. He draws level with B W Haynes (1891–1910), another gentleman of two career ducks. A quiet word, too, for H- Harman of Marden, who accounted for two of our three departures this week — a fine display of accuracy the Duck Club is only too pleased to commend, from the safe distance of an honorary mention. In Summary One match, three ducks, all bowled, and not a run between them at the crease — a tidy afternoon's work for the visiting attack, and a rich one for the club's records. Top order and middle order shared the burden evenly, proof that adversity, like the tea interval, comes to all in good time. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Frank Sutton — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% 2. Stan Pierce — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% 3. W- Barton — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% The season is young and the ledger already handsomely populated. The club awaits, with its customary blend of dread and delight, whichever names the next fixture shall add to this distinguished company.