🦆 The Duck Pond

The end-of-season card threw up a curious pair of fixtures on the 26th — Russell Baldwin's XI facing off against Matt Large's XI, and vice versa — and the zero club, ever reliable, made sure neither side left empty-handed. 🏏 1st XI Russell Baldwin, walking in at seven against Matt Large's side, departed caught off an unsure bowler to an unsure fielder — cricket's great mystery genre. It's his 2nd duck of the season and 14th for his LPCC career from 162 innings, moving him to 67th of 1305 in the all-time standings. On this very day back in 1965, Roy Clarke was doing exactly the same thing against Linton Park CC — a 40-duck career (1957–1966) that also yielded a Duck of the Year gong in 1959 and a place in the Quacking Together honours alongside John Ames. Fine company to keep on a Sunday afternoon of mutual dismissal. Opening for the other side against Russell Baldwin's XI, Matthew Carter went early again — same mysterious "c Unsure b Unsure" verdict, evidently the umpire's handwriting was having an off day too. It's his 6th duck of the season already, and his 11th career nought from just 39 innings, vaulting him to 83rd of 1305 all-time. A paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club — his very first LPCC innings was, fittingly, a duck — Matthew is also flying the flag for Duck of the Year 2004, and on this evidence the field will need to find another gear to catch him. He too joins Roy Clarke in the on-this-day ledger — same date, same opponent, same glorious nothing, 39 years apart. 📊 Week in Summary A tidy little haul: 2 ducks from 2 matches, both from the 1st XI, both undone by the enigmatic "Unsure" — surely due an honorary LPCC cap of his own by now. Matthew Carter's effort was the standout, a second duck of the campaign inside what looks like a very busy final few weeks of 2004. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Matthew Carter — 28 inns, 6 ducks (21.43%) - Richard Piper — 32 inns, 3 ducks (9.38%) - Clive Newman — 12 inns, 2 ducks (16.67%) - Simon Thirkell — 12 inns, 2 ducks (16.67%) - Jack Jenner — 13 inns, 2 ducks (15.38%) Matthew Carter sits well clear at the top with the season drawing in — can anyone mount a late charge for the 2004 crown? 🥇0️⃣ Next fixture, same invitation as ever: pads on, guard taken, and here's hoping — for entirely dubious reasons — that the zero club welcomes a few more members. See you out there. 🦆🏏

A quiet week in the paddock — three matches on the road, and the ducks found exactly one taker. Sometimes scarcity is its own kind of story. Midweek XI — Wednesday, away to Penshurst Park CC Jim Hall came to the crease at six and fell lbw to Richie Rudden, his 1st duck of the season and a startling 76th of an already storied career across 479 innings. That tally holds him at a rarefied #3 of 1304 in the all-time standings — a spot most club cricketers will only ever admire from a respectful distance. Jim's honours cabinet is not short of silver either — three separate Duck of the Year crowns (1970, 1977 and 1985), permanent residency in the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck, Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top tens, and — perhaps cruellest of all — "Full House nearly-man" status, having ducked at ten of the eleven batting positions and still chasing that elusive last one. He's shared quacks down the years too, in Quacking Together company with Jon Harris, Martin Mears and Tim Thirkell, and Only Two Quacks pairings with Allan Cooper and Nigel Thirkell. Neatly, on this very day back in 1977, LPCC legend John Thirkell — the club's all-time #1 with 90 career ducks, playing from 1943 to 1977 — was also walking back for nought, against West Kent Wanderers CC. Some habits echo down the decades. The other two fixtures this week were, disappointingly, a fowl-free zone — every bat in both line-ups found at least one run. The art of not scoring took the week off. 📊 Week in Summary 1 duck from 3 matches — thin pickings for the flock, but Jim Hall made sure the club's noble tradition wasn't allowed to lapse entirely. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 Matthew Carter — 5 ducks / 26 innings (19.23%) 🥈 Richard Piper — 3 ducks / 30 innings (10.0%) 🥉 Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks / 10 innings (20.0%) 4. Jack Jenner — 2 ducks / 11 innings (18.18%) 5. Clive Newman — 2 ducks / 12 innings (16.67%) Roll on the next fixture — the exclusive zero club never stays quiet for long. See you at the crease. 🍩0️⃣🏏

Slim pickings this weekend from the Duck Hunting fields — just three additions to the ledger across three fixtures — but each one is worth its place in the register. 🏏 Saturday 11 September — 2nd XI away at Teston CC A rough afternoon at the top of the order for the seconds. Christopher Thirkell, opening up, fell to Geoff King without so much as a squeak — his 2nd duck of the season and the 13th of an increasingly decorated Linton career, now 91 innings deep and sitting 68th of 1,304 in the all-time table. Christopher remains that most tantalising of things, a "Full House nearly-man" — ducks logged in 10 of the 11 batting positions, today's number 1 doing nothing whatsoever to complete the set. He keeps fine company on 13: level with 1940s stalwart Derek Pantony and modern-era regular Russell Baldwin. And by happy calendar coincidence, on this very date back in 1991, twice Duck of the Year Fred Cheesman was also strolling back against The Mote CC. Moments later Chris Newman followed him through the gate, bowled by Dan Tyler at number 2 — his 1st duck of the season and just his 2nd in a Linton career still finding its feet (14 innings, rank 248 of 1,304). He shares that same 11 September 1991 date with Christopher above, so Fred Cheesman gets a second mention for the price of one. Worth noting Chris carries decorated ducking blood too — kin Clive Newman already has 16 career noughts to his name, and pops up in this week's season top five below. 🌱 Sunday 12 September — Sunday 1st XI at home to Northend Sunday Nigel Thirkell, in at four, was bowled by K Stapley for his 2nd duck of the season and the 57th of a genuinely epic career — 1,104 innings and counting, good enough for 7th on the all-time Linton roll of dishonour. A Duck of the Year winner back in 1986 and a permanent fixture of both the Homebody and Tourist Duck top tens, Nigel continues to make not scoring look like a full-time occupation. On this same 12 September, all the way back in 1959, S Lusher was doing precisely the same thing against Bowaters CC — a duck echoing 45 years down the calendar. It rather looks like the Thirkell name was doing brisk business this weekend — Christopher on Saturday, Nigel on Sunday — though with the ducks falling in separate matches, the shared honours board will have to wait for another day. 📊 The Weekend in Brief Three ducks, three matches, no pairs, no king pairs, no family affairs to report — just three honest, solitary noughts. Teston CC did the early damage taking two in one innings before Northend Sunday completed the hat-trick of misery. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 1. Matthew Carter — 5 ducks / 24 innings (20.83%) 2. Richard Piper — 3 ducks / 27 innings (11.11%) 3. Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks / 9 innings (22.22%) — yes, another Thirkell, making it three in one report 4. Jack Jenner — 2 ducks / 10 innings (20.00%) 5. Clive Newman — 2 ducks / 12 innings (16.67%) Matthew Carter still leads the chase with the season drawing to a close, but 20%+ rates for three of the top five say this race is far from over. Pads on, guard taken — next weekend's fixtures await their own contributions to the exclusive zero club. 🦆🍩

A quiet one out in the field this week — three matches played, and the ducks kept mostly to themselves. Only one soul found his way into the exclusive zero club, but he did so with the pedigree of a man who's been here many times before. 2nd XI v Sissinghurst CC (away) - Simon Thirkell, in at six, fell lbw to Stephen Brown for his 2nd duck of the season and the 48th of an already storied career. That moves him to 11th in the all-time standings from 1304 names — a place he holds with some authority. A two-time Duck of the Year (1983 and 2001), Simon also sits on the 50 Before a 50 board, his eventual tally of 59 career ducks still comfortably clear of a career-high score of 48 — the very same number as today's tally, a coincidence too neat to let pass. Add membership of the Ducks on the Road and Tourist Duck top tens and you have a man for whom not scoring has become something of a touring exhibition. On this day in 1988, A Pay also made a duck, against Mullion CC — a Debutante Duck who, per the club's One and Done board, made that single nought his entire senior career, and by presumption a Retirement Duck to boot. Some collect ducks over decades. A Pay simply had the one, and made it count. Simon, for what it's worth, comes from proper Duck Club stock — brother Tim already sits on 76 career ducks, brother Nigel on 56, and father John leads the family with 90. The gene pool runs deep, and evidently rather empty. Elsewhere The other two fixtures of the weekend passed off entirely duck-free — every batsman getting off the mark on both occasions, a rare weekend where actual scoring rudely intruded on proceedings. Week in Summary One duck from three matches — slim pickings for the Duck Club, but Simon Thirkell flew the flag (or rather, didn't) for the collective. 🦆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🦆 - Matthew Carter — 5 ducks, 24 innings (20.83%) - Richard Piper — 3 ducks, 25 innings (12.00%) - Jack Jenner — 2 ducks, 9 innings (22.22%) - Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks, 9 innings (22.22%) - Clive Newman — 2 ducks, 12 innings (16.67%) Matthew Carter leads the race for Duck of the Year 2004 with room to spare — can anyone reel him in before the season's out? The ducks will be back next weekend, as reliably as ever. See you at the crease. 🍩0️⃣

Slim pickings for the club's more mischievous connoisseurs this week — across three fixtures the Duck Hunting Season yielded just a single specimen. Rare, but never to be sniffed at. Sunday 2nd XI — Shebbear College Batting at four, Clive Newman was undone by a slip on debut for confusion itself, falling c Unsure b O Wickett for a duck that will forever carry an asterisk in the scorebook. It's his 2nd of the season and, more weightily, his 16th career duck from 313 innings — a tally that plants him a very respectable 59th of 1304 in the all-time standings, the sort of consistency that takes decades to cultivate. On this very day back in 2003, John Taylor (1950–2004) was also trudging off for nought, against Mullion CC of all sides — proof that the calendar has long had a soft spot for late-August ducks at this club. Elsewhere on the honours boards, Clive's relative Chris Newman is quietly building his own tally with a career duck to his name — the zero-scoring gene, it seems, runs in the family, though the Newmans have yet to trouble the Duck and Ducklings ceremony this week. Week in Summary One duck from three matches is a lean return by Duck Club standards — the sort of week that makes the statisticians nervous and the batsmen smug. No pairs, no king pairs, no family affairs to report this time round. Just Clive, standing alone, upholding the club's proud tradition of not scoring. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Matthew Carter — 5 ducks from 24 innings (20.83%) - Richard Piper — 3 ducks from 24 innings (12.5%) - Jack Jenner — 2 ducks from 8 innings (25.0%) - Clive Newman — 2 ducks from 11 innings (18.18%) - Kevin Presneill — 2 ducks from 15 innings (13.33%) Jack Jenner's 25% strike rate remains the most alarming figure on the board, but Matthew Carter's volume keeps him top of the pile for now. With the season edging towards its close, there's still time for movement at the summit. Next fixture beckons, and with it the ever-present chance of new arrivals to the exclusive zero club. The ducks evaded capture in bulk this week — normal service will surely resume soon. 🥇🍩0️⃣

A quiet weekend on the duck-hunting front, but Meopham away proved fertile ground nonetheless. One match, two ducks, one very busy bowler. 2nd XI — away at Meopham CC Jack Jenner fell early, bowled by M Wabe, for his 2nd duck of the season. That takes him to 2 career ducks from a modest 12 innings — 281st of 1303 in the all-time reckoning, and a name already inscribed on the Retirement Duck honours board from a past farewell, so no cause for alarm about today's swansong. Keeping him company across the decades, John Ames also walked back for nought on this very date in 1955, against Halfway House, on his way to 49 career ducks and 9th all-time — not bad company for a man who's still only 12 innings into his own account. Moments later Richard Piper joined the queue, lbw to the same M Wabe, for his 3rd duck of the campaign and 36th of an increasingly decorated career — 239 innings deep and sitting a lofty 24th all-time. Piper's cabinet is doing some heavy lifting: Duck of the Year 2003, a Full House (a duck at every position 1 through 11, the art of not scoring in every guise), and top-10 residencies in both the Lone Duck and Homebody Duck charts. Noughts run in the family too — father Brian carries 21 career ducks and brother James a further 3, so the apple has not fallen far. And like Jack, Richard shares his date with history: John Ames, also dismissed for nought on this same 21st of August, back in 1955. Week in summary Two ducks, one match, one bowler doing all the damage — M Wabe accounted for both victims at Meopham, a fine day's work with the ball and a rough one for the top of Linton's order. Consistency of a very particular kind. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Matthew Carter — 5 ducks from 22 innings (22.73%) - Richard Piper — 3 ducks from 22 innings (13.64%) - Jack Jenner — 2 ducks from 7 innings (28.57%) - Kevin Presneill — 2 ducks from 14 innings (14.29%) - Paul Gibson — 2 ducks from 16 innings (12.5%) Matthew Carter holds a commanding lead atop the exclusive zero club, but with plenty of season left, nobody's spot is safe. Next fixture, same invitation as ever: bat well, or don't — the Duck Club welcomes you either way. 🏏0️⃣🦆

A quieter week in the hunting grounds — just three fixtures and a modest brace of ducks — but what the haul lacked in volume it made up for in pedigree. When names this large enter the book, quality trumps quantity every time. 🏏 Saturday, 2nd XI v Bearsted CC Tim Thirkell departed at number 4, caught Mick Clifton bowled Richard Filmer, for his first duck of the 2004 season and the 76th of a career now standing at a scarcely believable 779 innings. That's good enough for 3rd on the all-time list of 1303 — a position he has occupied with the quiet, dogged consistency the club has come to expect. Tim's honours cabinet is groaning already: Duck of the Year 1972, a place in the Full House club (a duck at every position 1 to 11, a truly comprehensive body of work), and top-10 residency in both Homebody and Lone Duck. He also shares a Quacking Together entry with Jim Hall, proof that misery loves company. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1988, his own sibling Simon Thirkell was busy making a duck of his own against Whitstable CC — the family trade evidently learned young. Simon sits on 47 career ducks and 12th all-time, with a "50 Before a 50" board entry to his name — 59 ducks and a top score of just 48, a monument to priorities. 🏏 Wednesday, Midweek XI v Tunbridge Wells Wednesday CC Rob Jackson fell early at number 2, bowled Derek Smith, for his first duck of the season and the 12th of his career from 48 innings — 79th on the all-time list. Rob is already a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, having opened his senior account with a nought some seasons back, and he banked Duck of the Year honours in 2002 for good measure. By happy coincidence, on this same date in 1963 the club's own record-holder John Thirkell — top of the all-time pile with a colossal 90 career ducks — was also trudging back for nought, against The Mote CC. Rob, meanwhile, keeps it in the family himself: his sibling Adam Jackson carries 4 career ducks of his own and, rather appropriately, currently sits inside this season's top five below. 📋 Week in Summary Two ducks from three matches — the birds mostly stayed hidden this week, bar two very distinguished sightings. Between them, Tim and Rob added up to 88 career ducks and two more entries in an already-heaving Thirkell family scrapbook of noughts. The season race, however, remains very much alive. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Matthew Carter — 5 ducks / 22 innings (22.7%) - Kevin Presneill — 2 ducks / 13 innings (15.4%) - Paul Gibson — 2 ducks / 16 innings (12.5%) - Adam Jackson — 2 ducks / 21 innings (9.5%) - Richard Piper — 2 ducks / 21 innings (9.5%) Matthew Carter holds a firm grip on top spot, but with the season still to run there's time yet for the field to close in. The ducks may have gone quiet this week — don't expect it to last. Next fixture, same rules: nought troubles nobody until it's your turn at the crease. 🦆🏏

Four matches, five ducks, and the exclusive zero club welcomes its usual mixture of grizzled veterans and fresh recruits this week. Saturday 7 August — v Milstead CC 1st XI: Matt Large fell to Steve Tawney at number 10, and the numbers alone deserve a standing ovation. This is career duck number 63 in a mighty 348 innings, keeping him at a barely believable 5th of 1302 in the all-time table. Six-time Duck of the Year (1987, 1988, 1989, 1992, 1993, 1995), a Debutante Duck from his very first innings, and a Full House nearly-man having ducked in ten of the eleven batting positions — agonisingly, immortality is one slot away. Curiously, on this very day in 1976, Colin Dicker was doing much the same thing against Headcorn CC, 28 years and a very different scoreboard ago. 2nd XI: Two for the price of one at Milstead. Jack Jenner (run out, dismissal officially logged as "Unsure" — the umpires shared his confusion) opens his career account with duck number 1 in just 10 innings, ranking 482nd of 1302. He's already a card-carrying member of the Retirement Duck honours board from a previous, presumably premature, farewell — evidently the comeback is still very much on. Ian Hollingworth joined him in the column, also run out, his maiden duck arriving in only his 4th innings — rank 455 and a name freshly chalked onto the board. Both, fittingly, share Jack's calendar-day company with Colin Dicker's 1976 effort at Headcorn. Sunday 8 August — v Harvel CC Sunday 2nd XI: Adam Jackson, promoted to first drop, was trapped lbw by Des Bailey for his 2nd duck of the season and 4th of a 55-innings career, moving to 154th all time. A family trait, perhaps — brother Rob Jackson carries 11 career ducks of his own. On this same date in 1998, Richard Piper was also back in the pavilion without scoring, against Bearsted CC, en route to his own 35 career ducks. Wednesday 11 August — Midweek XI v The Mote CC Matthew Carter, caught Grobler bowled Damen at number 9, notches his 5th duck of the season and 10th of his career from just 31 innings — rank 91 of 1302 and a proud holder of both the Debutante Duck honour and this season's Duck of the Year crown, a title he is doing everything possible to defend. History repeats nicely too: on this day in 2001, Daniel Thirkell made his own duck against Shipbourne CC on the way to 20 career noughts. Week in summary Five ducks from four matches, Milstead CC alone claiming three scalps in a single afternoon — clearly a green top for batting confidence. The art of not scoring remains alive and well at Linton Park. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Matthew Carter — 5 ducks, 20 innings, 25.0% 2. Kevin Presneill — 2 ducks, 13 innings, 15.38% 3. Paul Gibson — 2 ducks, 16 innings, 12.5% 4. Richard Piper — 2 ducks, 19 innings, 10.53% 5. Adam Jackson — 2 ducks, 21 innings, 9.52% Matthew Carter sits well clear at the top with a quarter of his innings ending on nought — keep an eye on that Duck of the Year defence. See you all next weekend, when the club's bowlers will no doubt be doing their level best to add a few more names to the honours board. 🏏🦆0️⃣

Only two matches out of three yielded fresh entries for the ledger this week, but quality over quantity, as ever, in the exclusive zero club. 🏏 1st XI — away to Southborough CC, Saturday 31 July Kevin Presneill fell at number 7, bowled Abdul Basit, for his 2nd duck of the season — the ink barely dry on his first. It's his 6th career nought from 51 innings, enough for 132nd of 1301 on the all-time list, a place of genuinely dubious distinction. On this very day back in 1996, Gareth Thomas was doing precisely the same thing against Ipswich Greyhounds CC - Kent Tour XI, a man who went on to bow out on a duck himself and take his seat among the Retirement Duck alumni. 🌙 Midweek XI — home to Bexley CC, Tuesday 3 August Matthew Carter edged behind to Michael Ladbrook off John Bacon, also from number 7, also for nought. It's his 4th duck of the season and 9th of a career now 29 innings deep, climbing to 98th of 1301 all-time. Matthew is a long-standing member of the Debutante Duck club, having opened his Linton account with a duck on debut, and with four already banked this season the Duck of the Year 2004 title looks very much his to lose. Rewind to this day in 1952 and Gordon Fenner was at it too, one of an eventual 34 ducks across a Linton career spanning 1941 to 1973. The third fixture of the week, frustratingly, kept its ducks well hidden — bat after bat got off the mark and the Duck Club went home empty-nested. 📋 Week in summary Two ducks from three matches, and both fell in exactly the same spot — number 7 was distinctly unlucky real estate this week. A quiet week in volume, but Matthew Carter's early surge keeps the season race well and truly alive. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Matthew Carter — 4 ducks in 18 innings (22.22%) - Kevin Presneill — 2 ducks in 12 innings (16.67%) - Paul Gibson — 2 ducks in 15 innings (13.33%) - Richard Piper — 2 ducks in 17 innings (11.76%) - Craig Sands — 2 ducks in 28 innings (7.14%) More fixtures on the horizon, and with them, surely, more candidates for the honours board. Keep your bats broad and your bails watched — the art of not scoring waits for no one. 🦆0️⃣

Only three names troubled the scorers for nought this week across five fixtures — a quiet seven days for the club's least wanted honour, but quality over quantity as ever in the exclusive zero club. Saturday 24th July 1st XI v Hollingbourne CC Opening the batting and opening the Duck Club's account for the week, Russell Baldwin fell caught Dave Hinks bowled Adeel Hussain without scoring. His 1st duck of the season is his 13th career quack, good enough for 69th on the all-time list from 154 innings. On this very day back in 1989, club legend Matt Large was suffering exactly the same fate against Coleshill CC in Warwickshire - Matt went on to finish with 62 career ducks and a fistful of Duck of the Year titles, so the omens for Russell's future in this illustrious company are, dubiously, rather good. Sunday 25th July 2nd XI v Sheldwich CC (away) A grim afternoon on the road produced a brace for the visitors. Richard Piper, ever a fixture of this newsletter, edged behind off Jon Taylor for his 2nd duck of the season and 35th of a storied career - good enough for 24th all-time and yet another line on a CV that already boasts Full House (a duck at every position 1-11), membership of both the Lone Duck and Homebody Duck top tens, and the 2003 Duck of the Year crown. The zero gene runs in the family too, with father Brian sat on 21 career ducks and brother James carrying 3 of his own. On this same date in 1995, Piers McDonald was falling for nought against Hartley Country Club CC - kindred spirits, decades apart. Lower down the order, Nick Coles departed for his 1st duck of the season and 1st of his career, caught behind off James Cork in only his second senior innings - an inauspicious opening statement for the club's newest recruit to the naughty noughts, though father John Coles is himself already a paid-up member with a career duck to his name. Nick shares his on-this-day company with Piers McDonald too, also dismissed for nought on this date in 1995. The week in numbers Three ducks, five matches, and Sheldwich doing the heavy lifting with two of the week's three victims. No pairs, no king pairs and no family doubles this time - the Duck Club takes what it's given. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Matthew Carter - 3 ducks / 17 innings (17.65%) 2. Paul Gibson - 2 ducks / 15 innings (13.33%) 3. Richard Piper - 2 ducks / 15 innings (13.33%) 4. Craig Sands - 2 ducks / 26 innings (7.69%) 5. Nick Coles - 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) Nick Coles arrives at the summit with a perfect record after just one innings - the sort of early-season form the rest of the list will be praying he can't sustain. Next fixtures await, and with them, no doubt, further additions to the honours board. The Duck Club never rests. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A quiet one this week at Linton Park. One match on the books, and — remarkably — not a single duck to report. Every batsman who walked to the crease on the 22nd found a way to trouble the scorers, however briefly. The exclusive zero club held no induction ceremony this week; the ducks, it seems, migrated elsewhere. Rest assured, this drought is a blip, not a trend. The art of not scoring is a proud and enduring Linton tradition, and normal service will surely resume before long. Even the game's finest exponents of triumph through adversity need the odd week off. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Matthew Carter — 15 innings, 3 ducks (20.0%) 2. Paul Gibson — 13 innings, 2 ducks (15.38%) 3. Craig Sands — 23 innings, 2 ducks (8.7%) 4. Samuel Harris — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) — a flawless start to his duck-hunting career, and a rate the rest of the field can only admire from a respectful distance. 5. Gareth Davies — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) Matthew Carter leads the chase for Duck of the Year honours, with Paul Gibson and Craig Sands lurking with intent. Samuel Harris, meanwhile, sits on a perfect record that surely cannot last — one hopes, for his sake, that it doesn't. 📅 Onwards to the next fixture, where the ducks will no doubt be waiting to ambush the unwary. Get your bats — and your excuses — ready. Quack on. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Four fixtures across the week, but the zero club kept its guest list tight — just two names added to the register. Quality over quantity, evidently. 🏏 Sunday 11th July — Mersham Sports CC The 2nd XI's trip to Mersham claimed one victim. Matthew Carter, walking in at five, departed c Unsure b Kevin Burton without denting the scorebook — his 3rd duck of the season and 8th of an increasingly distinguished career from 25 innings, nudging him to 104th in the all-time list of 1,301. A long-standing paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club courtesy of his very first Linton innings, Carter is also very much live in this year's Duck of the Year 2004 conversation — and with this one, he's not making it easy for the chasing pack. On this very day back in 1967, Mike Stephens was doing much the same against West Farleigh CC, so Carter walks in good historical company. 🌟 Tuesday 13th July — Twenty20 v Bearsted CC The shortest format produced the week's other addition. Mark Christmas, also batting five, was trapped lbw by Jason Preston-Reeves for his 1st duck of the season and 5th career nought from 40 innings, holding at 145th of 1,301 all time. Christmas remains an honourable nearly-man on the Full House board, having ducked at ten of the eleven batting positions in his time — the elusive final slot presumably taunting him nightly. Fittingly, on this same date in 1968 Paul Bowles — a genuine club great with 54 career ducks and multiple Duck of the Year titles to his name — was also trudging back against Beverley CC, Kent. Good company indeed. 📅 The other two fixtures in the period passed without incident — a rare and slightly disappointing display of competence from the rest of the club. The ducks evidently took the rest of the week off. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Matthew Carter — 14 innings, 3 ducks, 21.43% - Paul Gibson — 13 innings, 2 ducks, 15.38% - Craig Sands — 22 innings, 2 ducks, 9.09% - Samuel Harris — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100.00% - Gareth Davies — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50.00% Samuel Harris's flawless 100% strike rate remains one to watch — a single innings, a single duck, a perfect record of imperfection. 🍩 With the season heating up and Carter setting the pace, next weekend's fixtures offer plenty more opportunity for consistency of a very particular kind. The zero club never closes — see you at the crease. 0️⃣🦆

A quiet weekend on the Linton Park watch, and not in a good way. Three fixtures took the field across the club this weekend, and for once the Duck Club's scouts came home empty-handed. Not a single nought was troubled, not one batsman offered up the ceremonial waft-and-nick, not so much as a golden duck to whisper about over the tea urn. The zero club's doors stayed firmly shut. It happens. Even the most dedicated collectors need a rest weekend, and somewhere out there a bowling attack will be feeling rather hard done by that three full matches passed without a single soft dismissal to celebrate. Consider it the calm before the inevitable storm — the ducks are out there, biding their time, and normal service will resume soon enough. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏆 1. Paul Gibson — 2 ducks from 11 innings (18.18%) 2. Matthew Carter — 2 ducks from 12 innings (16.67%) 3. Craig Sands — 2 ducks from 19 innings (10.53%) 4. Samuel Harris — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) 🍩 5. Gareth Davies — 1 duck from 2 innings (50%) Paul Gibson holds a slender lead at the summit, with Matthew Carter snapping at his heels and Craig Sands proving that quantity of innings is no protection from quality noughts. Special mention to Samuel Harris, whose flawless 100% strike rate remains a masterclass in the art of not scoring — one visit to the crease, one visit to the pavilion. Rest assured, gentlemen, the Duck Club never truly sleeps. Next weekend's fixtures offer fresh opportunity for glorious failure, and this correspondent will be watching every LBW shout and outside edge with the keen interest it deserves. Get out there, get yourselves in the book — for King and for Nought. 🦆0️⃣

Four fresh entries in the ledger this week as the Duck Club's 2004 vintage keeps maturing nicely across all four days of cricket on offer. No pairs, no family affairs, just four honest failures to troouble the scorer. On with the show. 🏏 Saturday 26th — 2nd XI v Shipbourne CC Adam Jackson, sent in at 8, was caught and bowled by Bob Scott without scoring — his 1st duck of the campaign and 3rd for the club in 44 innings, good enough for 182nd of 1301 in the all-time reckoning. A chip off the old block, mind — his sibling Rob Jackson already carries 11 career noughts of his own, so the family clearly has a taste for it. On this very day in 1971, Andrew Moss also fell for nought against Tilling Steven, one of 10 ducks across his 1968–1987 span and a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club by the time he finally hung up the bat. 🌱 Sunday 27th — Sunday 2nd XI v Minster (Sheppey) CC Matthew Carter departed for nought at first drop, bowled by Alan Shardlow, his 2nd duck of the season and 7th career entry from just 21 innings — a rate that has him sat 118th of 1301. Carter is a Debutante Duck club member from his very first innings all those years back, and with the Duck of the Year 2004 board already carrying his name, this one only strengthens his grip on the title as the season enters its business end. Back on this day in 1936, E Godden made his own solitary duck against Bearsted CC, enough on its own for the 1936 Duck of the Year sash. 🌱 Sunday 27th — Sunday NVKC v Horndon On The Hill CC Craig Sands was trapped lbw by Philip Keeping without scoring, his 2nd duck of the season and 3rd for the club from a lengthy 75 innings, ranking 190th of 1301. Sparingly rationed, but rationed all the same. Curiously, the very same historical duck turns up on his parallel as on Matthew Carter's — E Godden's lone nought against Bearsted CC back in 1936, good enough for that year's Duck of the Year. 🔥 Tuesday 29th — Twenty20 v Headcorn CC Paul Gibson holed out at first drop, caught Pete Sparks bowled Mike Donnelly for nought, his 2nd of the season and a hefty 27th career duck from 431 innings — comfortably inside the top 40 all time at 35th of 1301. Gibson has previous pedigree here, a Platinum Duck club member since 1991 for the rare feat of falling first ball of the game itself. On this day in 2003 Richard Piper also made a duck, against Clarion CC, one of 34 in a career (1990–2004) so decorated it spans the Duck of the Year 2003 sash, Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck, Lone Duck and Full House honours all at once. 📋 Week in Summary Four ducks from five matches spread across Saturday, Sunday and a Tuesday Twenty20 — proper coverage for the calendar, if nothing else. No pairs, no king pairs and no family doubles to report this week, though the Carter/Sands coincidence of sharing a historical parallel is about as close as it gets to fate having a sense of humour. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Matthew Carter — 2 ducks / 10 innings (20%) 1. Paul Gibson — 2 ducks / 10 innings (20%) 3. Craig Sands — 2 ducks / 18 innings (11.11%) 4. Samuel Harris — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 5. Gareth Davies — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) Carter and Gibson locked together at the top as the Duck of the Year race hots up — plenty of cricket left for someone to break clear. Roll on the next fixture, when the exclusive zero club will surely be taking fresh applications. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A quiet week for the Zero Club, but never let it be said quality was sacrificed for quantity — two visitors to the exclusive nought club, and they arrived arm in arm. 🏏 1st XI — Bearsted CC (away), Saturday 19th June Andrew Dampier had himself a rather productive afternoon at Bearsted, striking twice in quick succession and gifting the Duck Club two new entries from the same top order. First to go, at first drop, was Craig Sands — bowled by Dampier for nought. Only his 2nd career duck in 73 innings, a man who treats the art of not scoring as a rare indulgence rather than a habit. He edges to 247th of 1301 in the all-time reckoning, a place of dubious but sparsely populated distinction. In walked John Taylor at four, and out he went the very same way — b Dampier, o. A rather more seasoned member of the club, this is his 7th career duck from 65 innings, lifting him to 116th of 1301 all-time. Consistency, as they say, of a very particular kind. Between them, Sands and Taylor hand Andrew Dampier a fine little brace and, more importantly, both join a select overseas ledger — on this very day back in 1955, Richard Harris (1940–1982, 36 ducks, 23rd of 1301 all-time) also trudged off for a duck, against 1st Innings Hambros Bank no less. Forty-nine years apart, three different bowlers' figures, one shared ignominy. The zero club transcends generations. 📊 Week in Summary Three matches, two ducks, one bowler doing rather more damage with figures unrecorded than with the numbers that matter. Triumph through adversity remains scarce this week, but the Duck Club never sleeps for long. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Samuel Harris — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 2. Gareth Davies — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) 3. Joe Martin — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) 4. Jon Harris — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) 5. Fred Cheesman — 3 innings, 1 duck (33.33%) Samuel Harris sits imperiously atop the standings on a flawless record — the sort of consistency the rest of the club can only aspire to. Plenty of season left for the chasing pack to make their case. Fixtures continue apace, and with them the ever-present opportunity for further additions to the honours board. The zero club welcomes all comers — nobody arrives here on purpose, but everybody's welcome once they do. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A quieter week in the paddock — five fixtures, just two ducks laid, but both arrived courtesy of names who know the honours board rather well. Saturday 12 June — 1st XI v Meopham CC Daniel Thirkell departed at first drop, caught Mick Clark bowled M Daley, for his 1st duck of the summer and the 20th of a career now 268 innings deep — good enough for 52nd of 1,301 on the all-time list and a seat kept warm among the Tourist Duck top 10 (the away fixtures do seem to bring it out in him). It's practically a family trade by now — the Thirkell name already carries the best part of 250 career ducks between John, Tim, Nigel, Simon, Christopher, Tom and Stuart, so Daniel is merely paying his dues to the clan. And rather spookily, on this very day back in 1999 Stewart Morrison (1987–2004, 37 ducks, Duck of the Year 2000) also strolled back for nought against Horsmonden CC — the calendar has a long memory. Thursday 16 June — Midweek XI v Sevenoaks & District Wednesday CC Fred Cheesman, batting at 8, went lbw to Glen Warner for his 1st duck of the season and 42nd of an already glittering career, good enough for 15th on the all-time chart from 266 innings. A two-time Duck of the Year (1990 and 1991), a Full House man with a duck registered at every position 1 to 11, and proud co-holder of Only Two Quacks with Adam Pooley, Fred scarcely needs the introduction anymore. It runs in the family too — sons Stuart (37) and Steve (14) account for another 51 career noughts between them, so the Cheesman gift for elegant nothingness clearly passes down the line. On this same day in 1970, Cliff Anscombe (1957–1975, 25 ducks) was doing precisely the same thing against Ozonair. Week in Summary Two ducks from five matches is a positively restrained haul by Duck Club standards — the willow, on the whole, behaved itself this week. Both victims were seasoned campaigners rather than newcomers, and both, fittingly, found company from decades past on the very same date. The zero club remains exclusive; this week it simply admitted fewer applicants. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Samuel Harris — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) - Gareth Davies — 1 duck from 2 innings (50%) - Joe Martin — 1 duck from 2 innings (50%) - Jon Harris — 1 duck from 2 innings (50%) - Fred Cheesman — 1 duck from 3 innings (33%) Early doors yet in the 2004 hunt, with plenty of bat-waving still to come before the table settles. Next fixture, the ducks will no doubt be back in season — same time, same dubious glory. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A quiet week on the Duck Hunting front — three fixtures played, and the Club's trackers picked up just the one call. But quality over quantity, as ever, and this was a proper one. 🏏 Twenty20 v Detling CC (home) In walked Stewart Morrison at first drop, and out he went shortly after, bowled by Gareth Thomas. His 1st duck of this season, and the 37th of a long and storied Linton career — a career now standing at 330 innings and good enough for 21st in the all-time table of 1,301. Stewart remains a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, having ducked on his very first-ever knock for the Club, and he still carries the 2000 Duck of the Year crown from a vintage season for nought-hunting. He also sits proudly in the Lone Duck top 10, and is agonisingly one short of the full set as a Full House nearly-man, having now ducked in 10 of the 11 batting positions — position 3 duly ticked off this week, leaving just one to go. A chip off the old block too, with sibling Phillip Morrison quietly amassing 2 career ducks of his own. And in a pleasing quirk of the calendar — on this day back in 1993, Ian Brattle also made a duck against The Mote CC, one of 46 in a career (1973–2003) that still sits 13th on the all-time list. The zero club, it seems, has a long memory and a fondness for anniversaries. 📅 Elsewhere The other two fixtures of the period were, disappointingly, vegan affairs — not a single duck to be found. Whether that reflects good batting or simply insufficiently hostile bowling is left as an exercise for the reader. Week in summary: 3 matches, 1 duck. A modest haul, but Stewart Morrison's contribution alone keeps the exclusive zero club ticking over nicely. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Joe Martin — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) - Samuel Harris — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) - Gareth Davies — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) - Jon Harris — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) - P- Bacon — 1 duck / 3 innings (33%) A tightly packed early-season table with plenty still to play for. The art of not scoring rewards patience, dear members — get out there this weekend and give the bowlers something to celebrate. 🍩0️⃣

Southborough Saturday delivered a Linton double whammy — both the 1s and 2s came away from fixtures against Southborough CC having donated a nought apiece to the club ledger. 🏏 1st XI (home) Paul Gibson departed at number five, bowled by Abdul Basit, for his 1st duck of the season and 26th of a lengthy Linton career — good enough for 38th on the all-time list from 426 innings. Paul is already a paid-up member of the Platinum Duck board for a first-baller back in 1991, so this one simply tops up a well-stocked cabinet. Spookily, on this very day in 1993 Piers McDonald (1986–2003, 48 ducks, all-time 10th) was doing exactly the same thing — kindred spirits separated by eleven years and a scorebook. Rob Doick wasn't far behind, stumped by Ray Grayland off the bowling of Phil Hobbs at six — his 1st of the season and 24th for the club, edging him to 43rd all-time from 201 innings. Rob shares his moment too, joining Piers McDonald on the same 1993 date — the Duck Club calendar clearly has a long memory. 🏏 2nd XI (away) Simon Thirkell, of the celebrated egg-laying Thirkell dynasty, edged one behind to Dave Fuller for his 1st duck of the season and a hefty 47th of his career, rising to 12th on the all-time chart from 214 innings. Simon already sits on the 50 Before a 50 board and is a two-time Duck of the Year, 1983 and 2001, with entries on both the Ducks on the Road and Tourist Duck top tens for good measure. The surname carries serious weight around Linton — father John (90, the club's all-time record holder), brothers Tim (75) and Nigel (56), plus Daniel, Christopher, Tom and Stuart all keeping noughts of their own in the family ledger. Simon, naturally, also joins Piers McDonald's on-this-day club from 1993. 📋 Week in Summary Four matches, three ducks, and Southborough CC proved unusually fond of Linton's middle order — claiming scalps in both fixtures. A quiet weekend by Duck Club standards, but the eerie calendar coincidence linking all three victims to Piers McDonald in 1993 is exactly the sort of thing that keeps the honours board interesting. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Gareth Davies — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 2. Joe Martin — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 3. Samuel Harris — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 4. Jon Harris — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) 5. P- Bacon — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) Early doors yet in the 2004 hunt, plenty of season left for the chasing pack to make their move. See you next fixture, when the ducks will no doubt be back in season. 🦆🍩

Five fixtures out on the paddocks this week and the Duck Club harvest came in modest but perfectly formed — three new entries for the ledger, each one a small monument to the art of not scoring. 🏏 Saturday 22nd — 1st XI away at Hollingbourne CC Nigel Thirkell strode to the crease at first wicket down and departed in the same breath, bowled by Robert Clark for his 1st duck of the season. Nothing new for Nigel, mind — this is his 56th career duck from 1092 innings, keeping him a lofty 7th in the all-time table of 1300 and a paid-up name on the Duck of the Year 1986 board, the Homebody Duck top 10 and the Tourist Duck top 10 besides. On this very day back in 1999, journeyman Dave Charlton (1988–2003, 25 ducks, 40th all-time) was making an identical pilgrimage back to the pavilion against Staplehurst CC — kindred spirits separated by five years and a calendar coincidence. Worth noting too that the Thirkell name is something of a duck dynasty, with siblings and offspring littered up and down the honours board — Nigel merely the latest instalment. Down at number 10, Michael Beeney joined him in ignominy, bowled by Trevor Scrivens for his 1st of the season and 20th of his career — good enough for 52nd all-time from 140 innings. Michael's name already decorates the Diamond Duck board (2002, out without facing a ball) and the Retirement Duck honours from a farewell some seasons past, so today's effort was merely topping up an already distinguished collection. He shares his same on-this-day parallel with Nigel — 1999, Staplehurst CC, Dave Charlton making his own quiet history. 🌱 Sunday 23rd — 1st XI away at Harrietsham CC A rather more historic occasion at Harrietsham, where Joe Martin marked his senior debut with the full ceremonial works — bowled by Jay Stubberfield without troubling the scorers, his very first innings and his very first duck in the same delivery. That's an instant, permanent booking on the Debutante Duck board, a club nobody chooses to join but everybody remembers joining. On this same date in 1959, a young Basil Sears (1947–1975, 33 ducks, 27th all-time) was enduring an identical baptism against Gore Court CC — proof that the Duck Club has always welcomed its newest members with open, if empty, arms. 📊 Week in Summary Three ducks from five matches — the flock kept its numbers thin this week, but quality over quantity, as ever. Two came from the same Hollingbourne fixture, proving misery does indeed love company, while Harrietsham gave us a fresh face for the honours board on his very first outing. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Gareth Davies — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Joe Martin — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Samuel Harris — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Jon Harris — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% - P- Bacon — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% A perfect three-way tie at the summit and plenty of the season still to play. Next fixture awaits its own volunteers for the exclusive zero club — bring your bats, gentlemen, and may your consistency be of a very particular kind. 🍩0️⃣🏏

Six ducks from four fixtures this weekend, with Stowting CC doing the club's dirty work almost single-handedly on Sunday afternoon. Saturday — 2nd XI away at West Farleigh CC Batting at 10, Gareth Davies was run out without troubling the scorer — his maiden LPCC duck, tally now 1 from 2 career innings and 442nd on the all-time list of 1,298. On this very day back in 1968, Fred Greenfield made a duck against Reeds CC on his way to 23 for the career and an eventual Retirement Duck send-off. Gareth has some catching up to do. Sunday — 2nd XI away at Stowting CC Stowting proved a proper duck factory, claiming five LPCC wickets for nought between Clifford Ball, Alan Harrison and Marten Medhurst — a genuinely industrious afternoon's work. Opener Christopher Thirkell fell lbw to Clifford Ball without scoring, his 12th career duck from 79 innings, and edges onto the Full House nearly-men board with ducks at 10 of the 11 batting positions — just number 11 left to complete the set. The surname carries serious pedigree in the zero club: collectively the wider Thirkell clan have racked up close to 300 career ducks between them, led by the legendary John on 90. Next in, Clive Newman edged Ball for his 15th duck in 304 innings, keeping him a steady 62nd on the all-time chart — a family affair in miniature too, with relative Chris Newman carrying a single career duck of his own. At number 8, P- Bacon marked his LPCC debut with nought, bowled by Alan Harrison — a duck on debut and instant, permanent membership of the Debutante Duck club. Welcome to the fold. Samuel Harris fell to the same bowler for his first senior duck from four innings, and quietly joins the Retirement Duck honours board — though we'll assume, for now, that he'll be back. And closing the innings, Jon Harris was bowled by Marten Medhurst for his 85th career duck, a tally that sits 2nd on the entire 1,298-strong all-time list, trailing only John Thirkell himself. Jon already owns the Full House board outright, four Duck of the Year titles (1976, 1980, 1981, 1999), and places in the Lone Duck, Homebody Duck and Tourist Duck top tens — a genuine club institution in the art of not scoring. His relative Richard Harris isn't far behind on 36. As it happens, every one of Sunday's five fallen batsmen shares an eerie footnote: on this exact date back in 1959, Bob Arnold also made a duck, against Gore Court CC, on his way to 47 for the career. History repeats itself in Kent cricket, apparently on a loop. Week in summary Six ducks from four matches, five of them landing in one Stowting innings — a proper cluster. No pairs, no family doubles this week, but the Thirkell name was well represented in spirit. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Gareth Davies — 1 duck, 1 innings, 100% 2. Jon Harris — 1 duck, 1 innings, 100% 3. P- Bacon — 1 duck, 1 innings, 100% 4. Samuel Harris — 1 duck, 1 innings, 100% 5. Clive Newman — 1 duck, 2 innings, 50% Season's young yet, and the exclusive zero club always has room for one more. See you at the next fixture. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A rare and faintly troubling occurrence at Linton Park this week: one match played, and not a single duck laid. Zero. Nought ducks about the nought-scorers. The exclusive zero club held its doors shut and nobody was admitted. Whether this counts as a triumph of application at the crease or simply a quiet Sunday for the Duck Club's scouts remains a matter of debate. Either way, the honours board gathers dust for another week, and the assembled membership will have to make do with reminiscing rather than inducting. 🍩 Fear not, though — early season form suggests the drought won't last. The 2004 Duck Hunting Season is already stirring nicely below, and with the campaign young, there's ample time yet for someone to offer themselves up to history. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 1. Matthew Carter — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) 🍩 2. Kevin Presneill — 1 duck from 2 innings (50%) 2. Richard Piper — 1 duck from 2 innings (50%) Matthew Carter sits top on a perfect record so far — the purest kind of consistency the Duck Club can offer, though one imagines he'd rather it were the other way round. Kevin Presneill and Richard Piper follow close behind, both level on a single nought apiece, each presumably eyeing the other nervously ahead of the next fixture. 📅 Looking Ahead A blank week for the Duck Club is a strange sort of news, but news all the same. Somewhere out there a batsman is quietly building towards his moment of ignominious glory — he just hasn't arrived yet. Fixtures resume soon, and with them the inevitable return of the dreaded nought. Get your bats out, gentlemen — the ducks are only ever one ball away. We watch. We wait. We celebrate. 🦆0️⃣

Two matches out on the paddock this weekend, and for once the Duck Club has nothing to show for it. Not a single nought, not a solitary quack, not so much as a nervous single-followed-by-a-wobble. Every Linton bat that walked to the crease walked back again having troubled the scorer at least once. A quiet weekend for the exclusive zero club. The ducks, it seems, have gone into hiding — perhaps sensing the new season getting underway and deciding discretion is the better part of ignominy. Early days yet, mind. The 2004 campaign is barely a match old, and this club has never known a season stay clean for long. Complacency has undone better batting line-ups than this. So no honours board entries to report, no near-misses on 1, no father-and-son what-ifs. Just eleven-plus-eleven-plus-more players quietly getting off the mark and denying us all a story. Frankly, a bit rude of them. 📅 Week in Summary 2 matches, 0 ducks, 0% duck rate for the weekend — a statistical anomaly the club will not tolerate for long. Normal service, we trust, resumes shortly. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Matthew Carter — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 2. Kevin Presneill — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) 3. Richard Piper — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) Matthew Carter leads the way on a perfect record so far — the purest kind of consistency this club recognises, even if it's not one you'd put on the CV. Kevin and Richard sit level on one apiece, both with a game already banked in credit. Early season stuff, but the race for Duck of the Year 2004 starts here. 🦆 Fixtures resume next weekend — the ducks can't hide forever. Get your entries in, gentlemen. The club awaits.

Season 2004 is barely a fixture old and Gravesend CC have already found the zero club's welcome mat. Three ducks fell in the same innings at Linton Park — a proper opening-day initiation for the top and middle order. 🏏 1st XI v Gravesend CC (home) Kevin Presneill, promoted to first drop, was bowled by Spencer Nye without so much as a squeak off the bat. His 1st duck of the fledgling season and the 5th of his career, nudging him to 144th on the all-time list — the art of not scoring practised with quiet efficiency. Richard Piper, reigning Duck of the Year 2003 and a long-standing name on the Full House and Lone Duck top ten honours boards, edged Kally Burger's bowling straight to Jason Allen and walked off for nought. His 1st of the new campaign and a remarkable 34th of his career, good enough for 26th all-time. Duck-collecting evidently runs in the blood too — father Brian carries 21 career ducks of his own, and brother James chips in a further 3. A proper family production line, none of it involving runs. Then Matthew Carter, bowled by Kally Burger, made it three for the innings — his 1st duck of the season and 6th of his career, a startling rate from just 12 innings so far. Currently propping up the 2004 Duck of the Year table on the front foot, and already a paid-up lifetime member of the Debutante Duck club from his actual first senior knock some innings back. Fittingly, all three chose the very same calendar date that once claimed LPCC's greatest ever quacker, John Thirkell, who fell for nought on this day in 1965 away at West Farleigh — one of an eventual 90 career ducks that still sits unrivalled at number one on the all-time list. Presneill, Piper and Carter can at least say they kept distinguished company on the 24th of April. 📊 Week in Summary One match, three ducks, zero survivors past the top order's middle stretch. A tidy little hat-trick of nought to christen the 2004 campaign — the zero club evidently doesn't believe in a slow start. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Matthew Carter — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 2. Kevin Presneill — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) 2. Richard Piper — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) Early days, plenty of season left, and plenty of scope for these standings to be rewritten. 🏏 The fixtures keep coming, and so — inevitably — will the ducks. See you all pitchside, bat raised, for whatever nought next weekend brings. 0️⃣🦆

A quiet one, members of the exclusive zero club. One match played across the club on the 17th, and not so much as a whisper of a duck to report. Every single batsman who walked out on the day found a way to trouble the scorers, however fleetingly. The art of not scoring, it seems, was simply not being practised this week — a rare and frankly disappointing show of competence up and down the order. 🏏 The Damage: Nil No golden ducks, no pairs, no king pairs, not even a nervy single stolen to avoid one. The zero club's gates stood open all day and nobody walked through them. Whether this is a triumph of technique or simply a case of the ducks being tactically evasive, we may never know. 0️⃣ Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard The 2004 campaign is only just getting under way, and the honours board is currently as blank as this week's scorecard — no ducks logged yet means no leaderboard to print. Plenty of season left for someone to stake an early claim to Duck of the Year. History suggests it never stays quiet for long. 🥇 Looking Ahead Rest assured, this drought will not last — it never does. The ducks are out there, biding their time, waiting for a nervous forward defensive or a rash heave across the line. Get down to the next fixture, keep your bat out of the way of straight ones if you fancy avoiding the club, or embrace the inevitable and start your season's tally in style. Until then — quack on. 🦆