🦆 The Duck Pond

A single entry only graces this week's ledger, but the exclusive zero club never turns away a new subscription, however modest the week's takings. Singles - Ray Tippen, batting at number two in a home fixture against Linton Park CC, was undone by a smart piece of work behind the stumps — caught by John Taylor off the bowling of Gordon Fenner — and made the familiar walk back to the pavilion. It is the first duck's egg of his season and the third of a career now standing at seven-and-twenty innings, placing him 55th of the 625 names inscribed upon the club's roll of dubious distinction. Mr Tippen is also, from a season long since concluded, a member of the Retirement Duck honour board — a gentleman who once bowed out of the game upon a nought — though this week's failure is no such farewell, merely another instalment in a long and honourable acquaintance with the art of not scoring. He now sits level with A Kent, who compiled his own three ducks in a brief season of 1893 and was that year's Duck of the Year, kindred spirits separated by the better part of sixty summers yet united upon the very same tally. The Week in Summary One match, one wicket falling for nought, and the credit goes to Gordon Fenner — a name that will be seen again below, for he numbers among this season's most industrious duck-hunters, having evidently dispensed more trouble with the ball than he has met with the bat. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - John Thirkell — 34 innings, 8 ducks (23.53%) - Bob Arnold — 13 innings, 3 ducks (23.08%) - Gordon Fenner — 13 innings, 3 ducks (23.08%) - Don Hartridge — 23 innings, 3 ducks (13.04%) - Gerald Wright — 5 innings, 2 ducks (40.00%) A modest week's harvest for the club's chroniclers, but the eleven take the field again before long, and the roll of dubious distinction is seldom short of volunteers. Until then, warm and solemn congratulations to Mr Tippen upon this latest instalment, and every confidence that the next fixture will bring fresh additions to the ledger.

🦆 A quiet week upon the Linton Park square, ladies and gentlemen — the eleven, by and large, played the straighter bat this weekend, and the Duck Club's tellers were left twiddling their thumbs through the greater part of two fixtures. But the club never closes its doors entirely, and one gentleman of the 1st XI has this week paid his dues to the exclusive zero club. 1st XI Away in the field against Hayle Party — beg pardon, Hayle Place CC — on the 21st, Richard Harris strode out at number seven and departed caught H Gosling, bowled G Ashby, without troubling the scorers. Not a golden duck, mind — he faced at least the one delivery before submitting to the inevitable, which in this club counts as a plucky show of resistance. This is his second duck of the summer of 1952 and his eleventh in a career now stretching to fifty-one innings, which plants him a very respectable 5th of 625 on the club's all-time roll of dishonour. He joins none other than the venerable Bert Buckoke — a two-time Duck of the Year, no less, in 1928 and 1950 — on exactly eleven career ducks apiece, and there can be no finer company in which to sit becalmed on a duck's egg. The week in summary Two matches played, and but a single duck laid between them — a lean week indeed for the collectors among us, proof if proof were needed that the art of not scoring is not to be rushed. No pairs, no golden ducks, no family affairs to report this time round. The ducks, it seems, took the weekend off — though Mr Harris was good enough to keep the tradition alive single-handed. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. John Thirkell — 33 innings, 8 ducks, 24.24% 2. Gordon Fenner — 12 innings, 3 ducks, 25.00% 3. Bob Arnold — 13 innings, 3 ducks, 23.08% 4. Don Hartridge — 23 innings, 3 ducks, 13.04% 5. Gerald Wright — 4 innings, 2 ducks, 50.00% A word of caution to Mr Wright, who at the head of the percentage table finds himself on a sticky wicket indeed — two failures from four attempts is a rate that would make even the most seasoned duck-hunter blush. Until the eleven next take the field, the Duck Club watches on with quiet optimism, for there is always another fixture, and always another batsman destined for the long walk back to the pavilion with nothing to show for his trouble. Play up, and mind the zero.

A quiet week at the crease, gentlemen. Two fixtures were played across the weekend, and for once the exclusive zero club found no new candidates for its rolls. Not a single duck's egg was laid, not one batsman was required to make that shortest and most melancholy of walks back to the pavilion. Whether this speaks to a sudden outbreak of straight bats and sound judgement, or merely to the bowlers having an off couple of days, the committee declines to speculate. The art of not scoring, it seems, took its rest this week — though the club has every confidence the ducks will return before the season is out. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard The season's honours remain keenly contested, and this week's inactivity has done nothing to trouble the standings: - John Thirkell — 32 innings, 8 ducks, 25.0% — the season's most reliable attender of the zero club, sitting a comfortable distance clear at the head of affairs - Gordon Fenner — 11 innings, 3 ducks, 27.27% — a fine strike rate of failure, rather better than his rivals manage in their sleep - Bob Arnold — 13 innings, 3 ducks, 23.08% — quietly keeping pace, a plucky knock away from respectability on any given Saturday - Don Hartridge — 22 innings, 3 ducks, 13.64% — the most measured of the leading pack, his ducks arriving with a certain dignified restraint - Gerald Wright — 4 innings, 2 ducks, 50.0% — fewest innings of the five yet half of them ending at nought, a sticky wicket indeed for so brief an acquaintance with the crease Members will note the table stands exactly where it did — a week's grace for the bowlers, no doubt, rather than any lasting reform among the batting order. The eleven return to the field next weekend, and the committee trusts that the ducks, having evaded capture this week, will not make a habit of it. Should any gentleman fancy his chances of a fresh entry to the rolls of dubious distinction, the wicket awaits him. Until then, we remain, as ever, watchful.

A quiet week, gentlemen, and a rare one at that. Your correspondent has combed the scorebook from Saturday's fixture with the diligence of a man searching for his spectacles, and must report, with no small measure of disappointment, that not a single member of the eleven troubled the umpires for the zero. Every batsman who walked to the crease walked back again having troubled the scorers at least once, however modestly. The exclusive zero club, so often swelled on a Saturday afternoon, gains not one new subscription this week. Whether this reflects a sudden and alarming outbreak of application at the crease, a touch of luck on a summer wicket, or merely the bowlers having an off day, history does not record. The art of not scoring, so lovingly cultivated by this club's membership, was for once left unpractised. One suspects it was but a brief truce, and that ambition for the duck's egg will return with the first ball of the next fixture. A single match played, not a duck to show for it — a sticky wicket indeed for the chronicler with nothing to chronicle. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - John Thirkell — 30 innings, 8 ducks, 26.67% - Gordon Fenner — 11 innings, 3 ducks, 27.27% - Bob Arnold — 12 innings, 3 ducks, 25.00% - Don Hartridge — 22 innings, 3 ducks, 13.64% - Gerald Wright — 4 innings, 2 ducks, 50.00% Mr Wright's rate of one duck in every two visits to the crease remains the season's most remarkable statistic, a consistency of a very particular kind that lesser men could only aspire to. Thirkell continues to lead the field on sheer volume, a man of considerable, if unwanted, experience in the walk back to the pavilion. The tail, as ever, will wag again before long. Members are cordially invited to the next fixture, where the eleven's finest are confidently expected to resume their pursuit of the duck's egg with the enthusiasm for which this club is justly renowned. Until then — a plucky knock to all, and may it not last.

A modest week for the exclusive zero club, but a memorable one, for one member of the 1st XI contrived to visit us twice inside a single weekend. 1st XI John Thirkell opened proceedings on the 30th, away to Hunton Wanderers CC. Sent in at four, he was bowled by R Venner without troubling the scorers — his seventh duck of the season and the thirteenth of a career that stands second in the whole Club register of 625 hopefuls. He was not to be outdone by himself. The very next afternoon, at home to A Levick's XI and promoted to first wicket down, he was bowled again, this time by John Ames, for his eighth of the summer and fourteenth for his career — a grim pair taken across two days and two grounds, the sort of feat that asks a great deal of a man's patience and rather more of his sense of humour. In arriving at fourteen he draws level with the great Frank Sutton, who carried the same tally through a career from 1925 to 1949 and was twice crowned Duck of the Year for his trouble. Thirkell, for his part, already wears this year's Duck of the Year sash, sits proudly among the top ten Lone Ducks, the top ten Homebody Ducks and the top ten Ducks on the Road, and shares the honours board twice over in Quacking Together, with both Bob Arnold and William Buck. H Newport followed him back to the pavilion on the same afternoon, number ten, caught D Latham off the bowling of the ever-busy R Venner, for nought — his second duck of the season and sixth of a career now twenty-four innings long, good enough for seventeenth place in the Club's grim ledger. He sits on precisely the same career total as D Sells, who plied his trade between 1943 and 1944, gathered his own six ducks in fourteen innings, and was Duck of the Year in 1943 besides. Newport is, we might add, a long-standing member of the Retirement Duck club, an honour recording some distant and presumably premature farewell rather than any valediction of his own this week. The week in brief Two fixtures, three ducks, and one gentleman of the 1st XI shouldering two of them single-handed — proof, if proof were wanted, that the art of not scoring is best practised with commitment. R Venner of Hunton Wanderers CC may fairly claim the ball of the week, having accounted for both of Saturday's victims. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - John Thirkell — 29 innings, 8 ducks, 27.59% - Gordon Fenner — 11 innings, 3 ducks, 27.27% - Bob Arnold — 12 innings, 3 ducks, 25.00% - Don Hartridge — 22 innings, 3 ducks, 13.64% - Gerald Wright — 4 innings, 2 ducks, 50.00% The season stands at a lively pitch, and with fixtures yet to be played there is every confidence the honours board will find fresh names to add. Members are warmly encouraged to attend the next match, bat straight, and, failing that, to fail with style.

Two fixtures took the field this week, and one of them proved uncommonly generous to the exclusive zero club. Four eggs were laid in a single innings against Charles Arkcoll on the Saturday, while Sunday's match passed the ducks by entirely, to the quiet relief of at least eleven gentlemen. The First Eleven - D Simmons, in at first wicket down, was caught by Humphrey Morris off the bowling of Stan Wratten — a plain enough dismissal, honestly earned. His third career duck in fifteen innings settles him at 48th of 624 on the club's roll of dishonour, drawing him level with the venerable A Kent, whose own trio of noughts were gathered in a single unhappy season back in 1893. - Three places along, Gordon Bugge fell to the very same Stan Wratten, whose afternoon was plainly a rewarding one for all the wrong reasons. This too was his third career duck, and he joins Simmons in keeping curious company with A Kent on that count — two members of the present eleven, fifty-nine years and one bowler apart, arriving at the identical figure by rather different roads. - At number six, Bob Arnold was bowled by Gordon Fenner for his third duck of the season and his seventh of a career that continues to write itself firmly into the honours boards. He remains a proud holder of Ducks in a Row for four consecutive eggs laid without troubling the scorer, and stands paired for perpetuity in Only Two Quacks with Alan Wilkes and in Quacking Together with John Thirkell — evidently a man who prefers not to fall alone. His seventh career duck draws him level with the formidable A Startup, whose own seven noughts between 1868 and 1882 earned three Duck of the Year honours and a place in the five-consecutive company of Ducks in a Row — a target Arnold may yet have designs upon. - Last man in, Gerald Wright was bowled by John Ames for his second duck of the season and his second in a mere four innings played, a strike rate for failure that would give a lesser man pause. He joins A S Day on that same tally of two. In sum, four wickets fell to nought in the one innings on Saturday — Messrs Simmons, Bugge, Arnold and Wright strung from number two clean through to number eleven, wanting only the middle order to make the collapse entire. Gordon Fenner, who appears further down this very report as a leading light of the season's duck-getting, spent his Saturday afternoon adding to the ledger from the bowling end instead, claiming Arnold's wicket while presumably hoping his own name might rest quiet a while longer. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - John Thirkell — 6 ducks in 27 innings (22.22%) - Gordon Fenner — 3 ducks in 10 innings (30.0%) - Bob Arnold — 3 ducks in 11 innings (27.27%) - Don Hartridge — 3 ducks in 20 innings (15.0%) - Gerald Wright — 2 ducks in 4 innings (50.0%) The eleven take the field again shortly, and the club secretary has every confidence the zero club's books will not stay quiet for long. Members are warmly invited to attend, watch, and — should fortune so incline them — apply for membership themselves.

A Chronicle for the Week of 17th August 1952 A quiet week for the Eleven's cultivators of the nought, the exclusive zero club taking on two fresh subscriptions from the fixture against Mote A. 1st XI - Tony Snell, in at number nine, was taken by G- McCabe off the bowling of A- Milsted for a duck's egg, his first of the season. In a career now standing at seven innings, it is his first career nought too, placing him 241st of 624 on the all-time roll. He remains a paid-up member of the Ducks in a Row board, four consecutive failures to trouble the scorers from a past campaign, so this latest blank keeps distinguished company. By happy coincidence, on this very day in 1881 one Jack Fryer also strolled back to the pavilion for nought, the first stride of a career that would run to twelve ducks and a brace of Duck of the Year honours, proof that the art of not scoring is no modern invention. - Gerald Wright, last man in at number eleven, was run out, the scorer recording the manner only as "Unsure", a fittingly enigmatic epitaph for a tail ender's afternoon. It is his first duck of the season and, from three innings so far, his first career nought, 174th of 624 in the club's long roll of dishonour. He too shares his calendar date with Jack Fryer's 1881 blank, a coincidence of the almanack rather than of technique. A modest haul, all told: two eggs laid in a single match, both from the tail of the order, precisely where the club's traditions decree they ought to be found. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. John Thirkell, 26 innings, 6 ducks (23.08%) 2. Gordon Fenner, 10 innings, 3 ducks (30.0%) 3. Don Hartridge, 18 innings, 3 ducks (16.67%) 4. P Ruddy, 7 innings, 2 ducks (28.57%) 5. Bob Arnold, 10 innings, 2 ducks (20.0%) The Eleven return to the field next week, and the Club awaits, as ever, its next fresh subscription to the exclusive zero. Bring your scorebooks, and your sympathy.

🦆 Turn up your collars, ladies and gentlemen — the Lenham CC fixture yielded a modest but respectable clutch of three duck's eggs for the 1st XI. Not a vintage haul, but the club's ledger of dubious distinction has been dutifully updated nonetheless. 1st XI John --'s Taylor opened proceedings and, alas, closed them almost as swiftly, trapped lbw to D- La Plain. This is the 4th career duck in a lengthy 56-innings apprenticeship — the 36th most prolific duck-collector in club history — and puts him level with a whole flock of illustrious names on exactly four career noughts, from the venerable C Amies of the 1860s down to the more recent Peter Weedon. Fine company for a man who evidently prefers his time at the crease brief. And by happy coincidence of the calendar, back in 1895 one J Lampard also strolled to the pavilion for nought against Maidstone CC on this very date — the ducks, it seems, keep a diary. At number eight, - Dampier made his first appearance for the eleven and marked it in the traditional manner, bowled by F- Brooks without troubling the scorers. A proper baptism of fire — he joins the exclusive and rather melancholy company of the Debutante Duck club, and already carries the "One and Done" and "Retirement Duck" honours pencilled in against his name, though we trust the latter is premature rather than prophetic. His solitary duck sits him at 104th on the all-time list, level on one apiece with a long queue of one-innings wonders. Curiously, he too shares his day with the 1895 Maidstone match and J Lampard's identical fate — some things, it appears, never change. Batting at ten, - Maynard added the third duck of the innings, bowled by S- Hampshire, his maiden duck of the season and his first in a career now standing at one from three innings — the "Retirement Duck" board already hovering over his name, presumptively and prematurely as club custom demands. He too finds himself keeping step with J Lampard's 1895 vintage, a duck laid on the same August date fifty-seven years apart. The Week in Brief A single fixture, three ducks, and the middle and lower order of the 1st XI doing rather more than their fair share of the damage — positions one, eight and ten all back in the hutch by day's end. No pairs, no golden ducks, and no family affairs to report this week, so the wicketkeepers may rest easy for now. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - John Thirkell — 26 innings, 6 ducks, 23.08% - Gordon Fenner — 9 innings, 3 ducks, 33.33% - Don Hartridge — 17 innings, 3 ducks, 17.65% - P Ruddy — 7 innings, 2 ducks, 28.57% - Bob Arnold — 10 innings, 2 ducks, 20.0% The season's honours board remains keenly contested, with Gordon Fenner's fearsome one-in-three strike rate a warning to all who follow him to the crease. Members are warmly reminded that the next fixture offers fresh opportunity for ignominy — the club's egg-cup awaits its next custodian. Until then, mind your straight bat and your first ball alike.

A quiet weekend for the exclusive zero club, but what it lacked in numbers it made up for in doggedness. Two matches, two ducks, and both laid by the same unfortunate hand. 1st XI Number ten Gordon Fenner opened proceedings on the Saturday, stumped by E Webb off the bowling of D Thomas — undone not by rash stroke but by a wandering foot outside his ground. His second duck's egg of the season, and the eighth of a career now stretching to sixty-three innings, which places him level with the venerable George Champion (74 innings, 1886–1912) on exactly eight career ducks — fine company for a fine failure. Curiously, on this very day in 1903, one H G Smith trudged back for nought against the same opposition, 1st Innings Rochester CC, a reminder that the club has been repeating itself for the better part of fifty years. A day was not enough to shake the habit. Sent in last man on the Sunday against Lord Cornwallis's XI, Fenner was bowled by J Larking for his third duck of the season and his ninth of a career that now stands ninth on the all-time list of some six hundred and twenty-three names — drawing level, by neat coincidence, with B Westover's wartime tally of nine. The scorebook records the weekend plainly as a pair, that grimmest of doubles, two ducks laid within twenty-four hours of one another, though happily neither was a golden one — Fenner played himself in each time before the axe fell, triumph through adversity of a very particular kind. It may be noted, for those who like their history layered, that on this same date back in 1869 one W H Fryer made his own duck against Horsmonden CC — the ritual, it seems, is older than the club itself. Members with long memories will also recall that Fenner's brother Joe carries five career ducks of his own — evidently a family with an inherited gift for the art of not scoring. The week in brief Two matches, two ducks, one player — a rare instance of a gentleman keeping the whole week's dismissals entirely to himself. Whether this counts as generosity or simple bad luck is left to the reader's judgement, though the sticky wicket of consistency clearly runs in the Fenner blood. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. John Thirkell — 25 innings, 6 ducks, 24.0% 2. Gordon Fenner — 8 innings, 3 ducks, 37.5% 3. Don Hartridge — 16 innings, 3 ducks, 18.75% 4. P Ruddy — 7 innings, 2 ducks, 28.57% 5. Bob Arnold — 10 innings, 2 ducks, 20.0% The tail of the season is far from wagged. Members are cordially reminded that the next fixture offers every batsman a fresh opportunity to add his name to the honours board, and the Duck Club, ever hospitable, stands ready to welcome him.

A quiet week at the crease, but the exclusive zero club never turns away new custom, and two more names go into the book. 1st XI 🦆 Gordon Fenner — stumped by Don Wooden off the bowling of W. Bailes at home to Town Malling CC on the 26th, and back to the pavilion without troubling the scorers. This is his 1st duck of the season and his 7th career egg in 61 innings, good enough — or bad enough — for 12th of 622 on the all-time list, a table few care to top. Curiously, it was on this very day in 1940 that J Short made his own duck against Boughton Monchelsea CC — twelve years apart, the same straight bat, the same sorry result. Fenner also arrives level on seven career ducks with none other than the venerable A Startup (thrice Duck of the Year, 1868, 1870 and 1882, and holder of Ducks in a Row) — exalted company indeed. Those with long memories will note his sibling Joe Fenner is no stranger to this pavilion either, with five ducks of his own to his name. 🍩 Basil Sears — trapped leg before by Bim Goodsell away to Folkestone CC on the 27th, undone before he could settle. His 1st duck of the season lifts his career tally to 3 in 52 innings, 44th of 622 on the honours board — a place of dubious distinction he now shares with a positively enormous congregation, from the Reverend J R Leigh to young John Taylor of the current eleven, all sitting on exactly three apiece. And by a pleasing coincidence of the calendar, this day in 1935 saw J Barber suffer precisely the same fate against Bearsted CC — the art of not scoring, it seems, respects no era. The Week in Brief Two matches, two ducks, one apiece — a modest week's harvest by the club's usual standards, no pairs, no family affairs, and nobody troubling the golden duck ledger. The bowlers of Town Malling and Folkestone will nonetheless take their due credit, and the eleven will doubtless wish to forget both afternoons in equal measure. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - John Thirkell — 6 ducks in 24 innings (25.0%) - Don Hartridge — 3 ducks in 15 innings (20.0%) - P Ruddy — 2 ducks in 7 innings (28.57%) - Bob Arnold — 2 ducks in 10 innings (20.0%) - J- Shuttleworth — 1 duck in 1 innings (100.0%) The season stands open for further entries, and the club has every confidence its members will not disappoint. Roll up next fixture — the ducks are always waiting.

A Quiet Afternoon at the Crease A single fixture came and went this week, and — remarkably, gallingly, almost suspiciously — not a single duck was laid to rest. The eleven went about their business with bats held reasonably straight, and the club's fielders of misfortune were left kicking their heels in the pavilion. Even the season's most reliable suppliers of nought could not, on this occasion, be tempted into their old habits. A sticky wicket for the Duck Club itself, one might say — the ducks evaded capture entirely, and went home to lay another day. We shall not pretend to manufacture drama where none occurred. The honours boards stand untroubled, the pairs list unmarked, and no family took the field only to walk back together in shared ignominy. A rare week indeed, and one the club records with a mixture of relief on behalf of the batsmen and mild disappointment on behalf of the chroniclers. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard — 1952 Though the week was barren, the season's table of dubious distinction remains as competitive as ever: - 🥇 John Thirkell — 22 innings, 6 ducks, 27.27% - 🥈 Don Hartridge — 15 innings, 3 ducks, 20.0% - 🥉 P Ruddy — 7 innings, 2 ducks, 28.57% - Bob Arnold — 10 innings, 2 ducks, 20.0% - J- Shuttleworth — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100.0% Mr Thirkell continues his imperious command of the summer's zero column with six eggs to his name in twenty-two visits to the crease, a consistency of a very particular kind. Mr Ruddy's early lead in percentage terms is worth noting, and young Shuttleworth's solitary innings has, with admirable efficiency, returned a perfect record of the wrong sort — one need not tarry long to make one's mark in this exclusive company. Until Next They Take Guard The Duck Club's members shall no doubt be back at their trade before the season is out — the art of not scoring is, after all, never far from any batsman's elbow. We look forward with quiet confidence to next week's fixture furnishing rather more material for these pages. Until then, the eleven go forward unblemished, and the ledger of noughts rests, for one week only, at peace. 🏏

A curious week to set before you, gentlemen. Two fixtures were played, and by some quirk of fortune, or perhaps merely of application, not a single duck's egg was laid at either ground. The eleven applied straight bats up and down the order, the tail wagged where it needed to, and the exclusive zero club must record, with no small disappointment, that its books remain unopened this week. Whether this reflects a sudden outbreak of common sense at the crease, or simply that the bowling was not up to its usual mischief, we cannot say. The committee notes only that consistency of a very particular kind was, for once, denied us. Rest assured this is a temporary state of affairs. The art of not scoring is not so easily discouraged, and normal service may be expected to resume before long. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - John Thirkell — 21 innings, 6 ducks, 28.57% - Don Hartridge — 15 innings, 3 ducks, 20.00% - P Ruddy — 7 innings, 2 ducks, 28.57% - Bob Arnold — 10 innings, 2 ducks, 20.00% - J- Shuttleworth — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100.00% Mr Thirkell continues to lead the field with some distinction, six ducks from twenty-one visits to the crease being no mean feat of dedication. Young Shuttleworth, meanwhile, has made the most emphatic possible start to his season's account, and members will watch with interest to see whether he can be persuaded to a second innings before adding to his tally. The next fixture cannot be far off, and history suggests the ducks will not evade the eleven's attentions for long. Do come and watch — and should your own name find its way onto next week's list, take heart: you shall be in excellent company.

A quiet week at the crease, gentlemen, and quieter still in the matter of noughts. Two fixtures played, and but a single egg laid for the collection. The eleven, it seems, were largely minded to trouble the scorers with actual runs — a state of affairs the Committee views with some suspicion. 1st XI P Ruddy went the way of all flesh at the Charles Arkcoll ground on the 5th, undone at number seven by Ken Heathfield and sent trudging pavilion-wards for his second duck's egg of the season. It is his second career duck in seven innings for the Club, which places him a respectable 91st of 621 in the club's roll of the dismissed — a middling perch on the ladder of ignominy, neither obscure nor illustrious, but honestly earned all the same. Curiously enough, on this very day back in 1943, one Herbert Sunley also strolled back for a duck against Mr Ashby's XI — a coincidence of the calendar that the Committee is pleased to note, if not quite pleased to celebrate. The Week in Summary Two matches, one duck — a sparse harvest by the Club's usual generous standards, and something of a sticky wicket for anyone hoping for fresh material this week. Whether the bowlers were simply not up to the task, or the batting was unusually watchful, the Committee declines to speculate. Suffice to say the ducks evaded the net more thoroughly than is customary, and Mr Ruddy alone flew the flag for the exclusive zero club. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. John Thirkell — 19 innings, 6 ducks, 31.58% 2. Don Hartridge — 15 innings, 3 ducks, 20.00% 3. P Ruddy — 7 innings, 2 ducks, 28.57% 4. Bob Arnold — 9 innings, 2 ducks, 22.22% 5. J- Shuttleworth — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100.00% Mr Thirkell continues to lead the field with a consistency of a very particular kind, while young Shuttleworth's solitary innings has already yielded a perfect record of failure — a plucky start to what one hopes will be a longer and more varied career. The Committee looks forward to the next fixture with its customary optimism, confident that the bowlers of the district will not long permit such a lean week to stand. Until then, the eleven are reminded that the art of not scoring remains open to all comers, and the honours board awaits its next entrant with characteristic patience.

- John Thirkell, going in first wicket down, fell caught H Hawkins bowled Alan Milstead — his sixth duck of the season and the twelfth of a long and distinguished career of not scoring, which places him third of all 620 names ever to grace the club's book. A sitting Duck of the Year for 1952 already, and a fixture of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens besides — there is scarcely a form of failure Mr Thirkell has not perfected. Curiously, on this very day in 1882 one J Sedgwick made a duck of his own against Marden CC — the calendar, it seems, has long memories. And in a neater coincidence still, he now sits level on twelve career ducks with the venerable Jack Fryer of 1881 to 1906, himself twice Duck of the Year — kindred spirits separated by seventy years and united by nought. - J- Shuttleworth, coming in at five, was accounted for by the same pairing of Hawkins and Milstead. A single ball he had faced in a career now complete, one duck standing for the whole of it — a debutant's duck no less, earning him instant and simultaneous membership of the Debutante Duck club, the One and Done honours, and the Retirement Duck board all at once, a rare treble struck before he had troubled the scorers even once. Whether the pavilion has seen the last of him time alone will tell, but the ledger is unlikely to forget so tidy an entry. He too finds himself keeping company with the 1882 vintage — that same afternoon against Marden CC producing J Sedgwick's duck as well. The Week in Brief Two matches, two ducks, both wearing Mote A's colours and both falling to Milstead's bowling — a modest tally by the club's usual appetite, but a tidy one, and proof that even a quiet week finds its way into the book. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - John Thirkell — 17 innings, 6 ducks, 35.29% - Don Hartridge — 14 innings, 3 ducks, 21.43% - Bob Arnold — 8 innings, 2 ducks, 25.00% - J- Shuttleworth — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100.00% - H Newport — 4 innings, 1 duck, 25.00% The eleven take the field again shortly, and the book, as ever, stands open — a straight bat is no guarantee against a duck's egg, and the Club awaits its next candidate with its usual warm and patient welcome.

A quiet weekend for the connoisseurs of nought, and there is no honest way to dress it up as anything else. Two fixtures were played across the period and not a single duck's egg was laid at either ground. Whatever conspired at the crease — straight bats played straighter than usual, the bowling perhaps a shade too generous, or simply an eleven determined to deny the Club its weekly ceremony — the exclusive zero club gained no new members this time out. The tail, for once, declined to wag in our particular direction, and every man who walked to the wicket walked back again with at least one run to his name, which is a state of affairs the Committee views with polite suspicion. We shall not pretend disappointment is entirely absent. A week without a duck is a week without a coronation, and the pavilion has been noticeably short of the usual commiserating applause. But the art of not scoring is a patient discipline, and the season is young yet. Normal service, we are confident, will resume before long. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - John Thirkell — 15 innings, 5 ducks, 33.33%, and still the season's most reliable attendant of the pavilion steps - Don Hartridge — 12 innings, 3 ducks, 25.00% - Bob Arnold — 6 innings, 2 ducks, 33.33%, keeping fine company at the top of the table - H Newport — 4 innings, 1 duck, 25.00% - Arthur Cradduck — 5 innings, 1 duck, 20.00%, a name that seems almost designed for this list The table stands as a testament to consistency of a very particular kind, and there is no shame whatever in occupying it. Triumph through adversity remains the Club's motto, even in a week when adversity rather let us down. The wicket will be out again next weekend, and with it the usual opportunities for a well-set batsman to contrive his own undoing. Members are warmly invited along to the next fixture, bats freshly oiled and confidence entirely unwarranted — the ducks, we are assured, are only resting.

A modest muster this week, three eggs laid across two fixtures, all from the pens of the First Eleven. The exclusive zero club opens its ledger once more. First Eleven Down at Headcorn on the Saturday, the top order found the going sticky. P Ruddy, promoted to first wear, fell to C Hughes without troubling the scorers — a first duck of the season and only the second of a young career spanning six innings, tucking him in at 212th of 618 in the club's long and dishonourable roll. Curiously, on this very day in 1882, one C Gibbs was similarly undone against Boxley CC's First Innings — the calendar, it seems, has a taste for repetition. He was swiftly joined in the pavilion by John Thirkell, caught Maybourne, bowled Hughes, for his fifth duck of the summer and eleventh of a distinguished career now seventy-five innings deep — the fourth most prolific egg-layer the club has ever produced. Mr Thirkell arrives this week already garlanded: Duck of the Year 1952, a fixture of the Ducks on the Road and Homebody Duck top tens, the Lone Duck top ten, and a paid-up partner in Quacking Together with both Bob Arnold and William Buck. Consistency, as the old boys say, of a very particular kind. He too shares his affliction with the ghost of 1882 and C Gibbs against Boxley. Sunday brought the visit of Hambros Bank, and with it Don Hartridge, bowled G Clarke for his third duck of the season and tenth of a career, now the fifth most decorated name on the honours board. On this same date in 1887, Jack Fryer — twice Duck of the Year and the club's second-highest scorer of noughts — suffered identically against East Peckham. The tail, it might be said, has excellent historical company. The Week in Brief Two matches, three ducks, and the top order rather than the tail doing the damage — a reminder that the art of not scoring respects no batting position. The First Eleven alone carried the flag this week. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. John Thirkell — 14 innings, 5 ducks, 35.71% 2. Bob Arnold — 6 innings, 2 ducks, 33.33% 3. Don Hartridge — 11 innings, 3 ducks, 27.27% 4. H Newport — 4 innings, 1 duck, 25.00% 5. Arthur Cradduck — 5 innings, 1 duck, 20.00% The season is young yet and the wicket keeps taking its toll. Members are warmly invited to the next fixture, where the eleven will no doubt continue its solemn pursuit of the duck's egg with customary vigour and customary results.

A fixture list of two matches, and not a single egg laid between them. The eleven, it seems, played uncommonly straight bats this weekend, and the exclusive zero club must report an empty ledger. Even the most devoted student of the art of not scoring will find nothing here to savour — no golden ducks, no pairs, no family gatherings beneath the willow's shadow, only batsmen who stubbornly declined to oblige us. One almost begins to worry for the institution. The wicket, we are told, held no particular terrors, the bowling was nothing out of the ordinary, and yet the noughts refused to fall. A sticky wicket this was not — rather a weekend of plucky knocks and tails that, for once, declined to collapse. The Duck Club extends its grudging congratulations to all who kept the ignominy at bay, while noting privately that such restraint cannot last. We shall not pretend disappointment is beneath us. A weekend without a duck is a weekend the honours board gathers dust, and dust is no fit tribute to the game's noblest failures. Still, the season is young yet, and Wisden did not build its reputation on a single fortnight of good behaviour. The ducks, we are assured, are merely gathering their strength. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - John Thirkell — 12 innings, 4 ducks, 33.33 per cent — the season's most industrious collector, and not far off making a habit of it - Bob Arnold — 6 innings, 2 ducks, 33.33 per cent — economy of effort, one might say, applied rather too literally - Don Hartridge — 9 innings, 2 ducks, 22.22 per cent — steady work, in its own particular way - H Newport — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33 per cent — a modest start, but a start nonetheless - Arthur Cradduck — 4 innings, 1 duck, 25.0 per cent — a name to watch, in the fullest sense of dubious distinction The eleven return to the field next weekend, and the Duck Club shall be watching from the boundary rope with its customary patience. History suggests the ducks are never absent for long — only resting, as all good institutions must. Members are cordially invited to the next fixture, where a first-ball dismissal, a plucky nought, or better still a pair worthy of the honours board may yet be furnished for the record.

Tidings of the Zero Club, 31st May to 2nd June, 1952 1st XI At Marden CC, Kent, on the 2nd of June, Mr John Thirkell, in at first wicket down, was bowled by S. Gurr for a duck's egg — his fourth of the season and the tenth of a distinguished career now spanning one-and-seventy innings, placing him fifth of all the six hundred and eighteen names ever to have graced the club's roll of dubious distinction. It is worth setting down, for those keeping the ledger straight, that Mr Thirkell stands this season as the reigning holder of the Duck of the Year honour for 1952 — a laurel he appears determined to defend with some vigour. He is besides a fixture of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck companies, proof that the art of not scoring travels as readily as it stays at home, and a longstanding member of the Quacking Together fraternity, having shared the peculiar communion of the nought with both Mr Bob Arnold and Mr William Buck on past occasions, though neither joined him in this week's misfortune. Curiously, on this very day in 1900 one F S W Cornwallis also strolled back to the pavilion without troubling the scorers, in a match against Sutton Valence School — the calendar, it would seem, has a long memory for these things. No other eleven found the zero this week, the remaining sides having apparently played rather too straight a bat for the Gazette's liking. Three fixtures played, one duck laid — a sticky wicket indeed for the club's own statisticians, who had rather hoped for livelier hunting. Mr Thirkell alone flew the flag for the exclusive zero club this week, and flew it with the quiet consistency of a man who knows the road to the pavilion rather better than most know the road to the crease. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - John Thirkell — 10 innings, 4 ducks, 40.0% - Bob Arnold — 6 innings, 2 ducks, 33.3% - Don Hartridge — 7 innings, 2 ducks, 28.6% - H Newport — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.3% - Arthur Cradduck — 4 innings, 1 duck, 25.0% The season stands young yet, but the leaderboard already shows Mr Thirkell setting a brisk pace towards a duck's-egg century all his own. Members are warmly invited to the next fixture, where the eleven will no doubt do their level best to add fresh names to this honourable roll. The Committee remains, as ever, in hopeful anticipation.

Weekend of the 24th and 25th of May, 1952 Two fixtures were given to the Eleven this weekend, and for the better part of both the ducks kept themselves well hidden — a lean weekend's sport for this column, with but a single egg laid to report. 1st XI Batting last man in against the Old Westminster Citizens on the Sunday, Bob Arnold was undone by Walker and made the long walk back without troubling the scorers. It is his second duck of the season and the sixth of a career that has grown, over twenty-five innings, into a familiar acquaintance with the exclusive zero club — he stands twelfth of the six hundred and eighteen gentlemen who have ever held membership. Mr Arnold need feel no particular shame in the company he keeps: he is already a name on the honours board for Ducks in a Row, four in unbroken succession, a feat few have the consistency, of a very particular kind, to manage, and his account is linked in the club's quainter bookkeeping to both Alan Wilkes and John Thirkell, each good enough to have quacked alongside him on separate occasions. There is, besides, a neat turn of the calendar to note: on this very day in 1940, one Joe Fenner likewise strolled back to the pavilion for nought, against Charles Arkcoll — twelve years and a different attack, yet the date keeps faith with tradition. The week in summary Two matches played, one duck laid — the Club's egg-collectors will call it a quiet weekend, and quite right too, for the art of not scoring was practised most sparingly this time out. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. John Thirkell — 3 ducks in 7 innings (42.86%) 2. Bob Arnold — 2 ducks in 6 innings (33.33%) 3. Don Hartridge — 2 ducks in 7 innings (28.57%) 4. H Newport — 1 duck in 2 innings (50.00%) 5. Arthur Cradduck — 1 duck in 3 innings (33.33%) The season stands young yet, and the wickets of Linton Park have shown themselves no respecters of reputation. Members are warmly invited to the next fixture, where no doubt the ducks, having taken their brief holiday, will return refreshed and ready to add to the ledger.

A quiet week for the ducks, taken all round — across two matches only a brace of noughts found their way onto the ledger, and both, curiously, at the hands of the very same opponent. Small mercies, perhaps, but the honours board does not deal in volume, and two ducks well earned are two ducks well recorded. 1st XI - Richard Harris, sent in at number seven away to The Mote CC, was taken by John Waters off the bowling of P. Eckersley and walked back for nought — his first duck of the season, and no stranger to this particular disgrace, for it is his tenth in forty-two innings, the fifth heaviest such tally in the whole history of the club. He now sits shoulder to shoulder with Ernest Cruttenden, of the 1881 to 1912 vintage, likewise resting on ten — a fine piece of company across the better part of seventy years. And by a neat trick of the calendar, this very date in 1940 saw Joe Fenner suffer identically against Staplehurst CC — the ducks, it would seem, keep their anniversaries with more discipline than the batsmen keep their wickets. - Arthur Cradduck came in at number ten and did not long delay matters, leg before to John Larking for his own first duck of the summer — the seventh of a career now built upon eight and twenty innings, and good enough for eleventh place on the club's all-time roll of shame. A paid-up member of the Duck of the Year board for 1951, he adds this latest nought to an already distinguished record. He too shares his date with Joe Fenner's 1940 duck against Staplehurst — the same day of the year, twelve summers apart, doing the same disservice to a scorebook. The Week in Brief Two matches, two ducks, both laid by the 1st XI and both at the hands of The Mote CC — a fixture that appears to have taken a particular liking to Linton Park's lower order. No pairs to report this week, and no family affairs either. The ducks, for once, kept themselves to themselves. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard — 1952 - John Thirkell — 3 ducks from 6 innings (50.0%) - Don Hartridge — 2 ducks from 5 innings (40.0%) - Arthur Cradduck — 1 duck from 2 innings (50.0%) - H Newport — 1 duck from 2 innings (50.0%) - Bob Arnold — 1 duck from 4 innings (25.0%) The next fixture cannot be far off, and with it, no doubt, fresh material for these pages. Until then, the eleven takes guard once more with the usual mixture of hope and quiet apprehension — may the middle of the bat find rather more use than it has this week.

Three eggs were laid this week, gentlemen, all by the 1st XI, and all away from home — which will not surprise those who hold that a duck travels better than it bats. Bearsted CC, Saturday the 10th Bob Arnold, sent in at number ten, was undone by the bowling of Snook and returned to the pavilion with nothing to show for his trouble — his first duck's egg of the season, and the fifth of a career that now stands nineteenth of all six hundred and sixteen who have ever failed in this particular art. His name already sits in the book alongside Alan Wilkes and, as it happens, John Thirkell, and he remains a charter member of the noble "Ducks in a Row" — four in unbroken succession, a feat requiring a consistency few possess. He now stands level with Allan Peach, who managed the very same five between 1903 and 1907, proof that the art of not scoring is handed down the generations with scarcely a stroke lost. Folkestone CC, Sunday the 11th John Thirkell, at five, played on to J Court without troubling the scorers — his third duck of a summer already generous with them, and the ninth of a career placing him a lofty seventh on the all-time roll. He carries this season's Duck of the Year honours into the match and remains a fixture of the Lone Duck, Homebody Duck and Ducks on the Road top tens alike — evidently a man equally at ease failing on his own doorstep or abroad. He draws level on nine with B Westover, who played between 1940 and 1945. One place below him, Don Hartridge fell to the very same J Court without scoring — the two gentlemen departing in harness to a bowler plainly in irresistible form that afternoon. It was Hartridge's second duck of the season and his ninth in a career of sixty-six innings, sixth of all time, and he too finds himself keeping company with B Westover on nine. The week in summary Two matches, three ducks, and Folkestone CC may fairly claim the day's honours — J Court removing two LPCC batsmen without a run between them inside a single innings, a sticky wicket indeed for numbers five and six. No golden ducks this week, no pairs and no king pairs — the tail, such as it was, at least troubled the bowlers for a ball or two before departing. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - John Thirkell — 4 innings, 3 ducks, 75.0% - Don Hartridge — 3 innings, 2 ducks, 66.67% - H Newport — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100.0% - Bob Arnold — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50.0% - Frank Taylor — 4 innings, 1 duck, 25.0% The eleven takes the field again shortly, and the Club has every confidence that fresh material will present itself before long. Members are warmly invited to attend, bat straight where they can, and otherwise contribute generously to the ledger.

Fixture: the 1st XI away to West Farleigh CC. Four eggs laid in a single innings — a barren afternoon for the home batting, and R- Kemp's day to remember. 1st XI - John Thirkell, in at four, fell to R- Kemp — his second duck of the season and the eighth of a career now numbering 63 innings, good enough for 9th on the all-time roll, and Mr Thirkell already wears the sash of Duck of the Year 1952, besides places in the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, and a shared Quacking Together honour with both Bob Arnold and William Buck. He now stands level with the long-serving Don Hartridge on eight career ducks apiece — kindred spirits in the art of not scoring, and, as it happens, partners in dismissal this very afternoon. - Don Hartridge, following at five, went the same way to the same bowler — his first duck of the summer, but the eighth of a distinguished career spanning 64 innings, placing him 7th of all 616 members in the club's history. He draws level on that tally with George Champion, Duck of the Year away back in 1897 — proof that some standards endure across the generations. - Frank Taylor, at six, was trapped leg before by Kemp for his first duck of the season and the maiden blemish of a 55-innings career, ranking 161st of 616 — a plucky knock undone at the very first hurdle. He joins a long and distinguished company sitting on a single career duck, among them the unfortunate Mr Gaskin of 1949. - H Newport, last man in at eleven, was run out without troubling the scorers — his fifth career duck in a brief but eventful 16-innings career, 19th of all 616, and a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from some past and presumably dignified farewell. He now sits level with Allan Peach of the 1900s on five career ducks apiece. Week in Summary One match, four ducks, and R- Kemp accounting for three of the eleven in a single spell — a sticky wicket indeed for the home order. The tail, alas, did not wag. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. John Thirkell — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100% 2. Don Hartridge — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% 3. H Newport — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% 4. Frank Taylor — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% Members of the eleven are cordially reminded that the exclusive zero club never closes its books, and the next fixture will doubtless furnish fresh candidates for its dubious honours board. Until then — mind your first ball.

A modest week's business for the exclusive zero club, but modest is not the same as idle, and the honours board has had one fresh entry made upon it. 1st XI John Thirkell went in at number five against Maidstone Trades at home, and there met his end bowled by S. Crump for a duck's egg — the first such visitation of his season, and the seventh in a career now sixty-two innings long. That places him tenth of the six hundred and fourteen who have ever made the walk back for nought, and puts him well in the early running for the Duck of the Year honours of 1952, should the summer continue in this vein. He is, besides, no stranger to distinction of this particular sort: a fixture of both the Lone Duck and Homebody Duck top tens, a name that appears among the Ducks on the Road, and one half of two separate Quacking Together pairings from seasons past, with Bob Arnold and with William Buck respectively. On this occasion, though, he finds company rather further afield — his tally of seven draws him level with the celebrated A Startup, who compiled his own seven ducks in a mere eleven innings between 1868 and 1882, and sits eighth on the all-time list. A comparison spanning the better part of a century, and one Mr Thirkell need not blush at. The week in summary One match, one duck, one gentleman keeping solitary vigil in the nought column. The tail did not so much wag this week as fail to appear at all — a sticky wicket, evidently, though the rest of the eleven seem to have played rather straighter bats than Mr Thirkell managed. Consistency of a very particular kind continues to be his stock in trade. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - John Thirkell — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% A leaderboard of one is a leaderboard nonetheless, and Mr Thirkell presently has it entirely to himself, an honour he may not wish to keep for long. The club awaits the next fixture with its usual quiet confidence that further additions to the nought column cannot be far off. Members are reminded that the art of not scoring is one practised by only the bravest, and the Gazette will be watching closely.