🦆 The Duck Pond

Two fixtures, four ducks, and the archives creaking under the weight of history — a proper vintage weekend for the exclusive zero club. 🏏 Saturday 26th — 1st XI v A.Trembeths Robert Wood battled to the crease at seven, dug in gamely, and was eventually undone c P. Rye b C. Rye — the Rye family clearly operating a closed shop that afternoon. It's his 5th duck of the season and 7th of an illustrious career, good enough for 31st on the all-time list of 726. Robert is also a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from a duck-on-debut long since consigned to history — not this one, but the badge stands. He now joins the Victorian great A Startup on exactly 7 career ducks — a man who played 1868–1963... sorry, 1868–1882, took Duck of the Year honours three separate times, and once strung five ducks in a row. Illustrious company for a Saturday afternoon dismissal. 🌱 Sunday 27th — the "Unknown XI" v Linton Park CC Whoever they were, the archives have lost their name — but not, mercifully, their ducks. Three fell in this one innings alone, and two of them were old sparring partners reunited. Alan Wilkes opened and departed first ball region c John Abnett b Terry Whittaker — his 3rd of the season and 11th of a career now sitting a lofty 15th of 726 all time. Alan is a double Only Two Quacks honouree, paired separately with Bob Arnold and John Ames — both of whom, delightfully, ducked in this very same innings, reuniting all three on the honours board in the flesh. His dismissing bowler, Terry Whittaker, has previous form too — on this very day in 1958 he also walked for nought against A.Trembeths. Bob Arnold, at three, fell b Tony Tipples for his 5th of the season, moving to a barely believable 31 career ducks — 2nd of all 726 in club history, second only to the legendary Tim Thirkell-tier company. Bob owns Ducks in a Row (4 consecutive) and shares Only Two Quacks with Alan Wilkes, his batting partner in ignominy this very afternoon. His own executioner, Tony Tipples, has a habit of this fixture — he too made a duck against Linton Park CC on this day back in 1953. John Ames, two down, fell b Alan Wilkes for his 3rd of the season and 20th career — 4th of 726 all time, and a Homebody Duck top-tenner to boot. He shares Quacking Together honours with none other than Roy Clarke, who currently tops this season's leaderboard — proof that good company follows a man even into the zero column. 📊 Week in Summary Four ducks from two matches, three of them arriving in a single Sunday innings — a rare cluster that would have made fine viewing for the purists. Special mention to catcher John Abnett, who claimed Wilkes's wicket this week while quietly sitting 5th in the season charts himself — a man evidently more comfortable behind the stumps than in front of them. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Roy Clarke — 9 ducks, 28 innings, 32.14% 2. Tony Snell — 5 ducks, 8 innings, 62.5% 3. Bob Arnold — 5 ducks, 22 innings, 22.73% 4. Robert Wood — 5 ducks, 30 innings, 16.67% 5. John Abnett — 4 ducks, 6 innings, 66.67% Roy Clarke holds firm at the summit, but with three names locked on five apiece the chase is tightening nicely. 🍩 As ever, the crease waits for nobody. See you next weekend, when the ducks — mysterious XI or not — will doubtless return for more.

A quiet couple of days for most of the club, but the 1st XI found the special sort of quiet that only a trio of ducks can bring. Three additions to the ledger from two fixtures — modest in number, mighty in pedigree. 🏏 Saturday, away at Bearsted CC G Martin fell to Bryan Elswood without scoring, his 1st duck of the season and 3rd of his career in just 14 innings — rank 78 of 726 in the all-time reckoning. Martin is a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, having opened his account with a nought on debut some innings back, so this one at least had company. On this very day in 1953, Richard Harris (1940–1959, 29 career ducks, all-time 3rd) was likewise dismissed for nought against Bearsted — the Green clearly has form. 🏏 Sunday, home to Tilling Steven Eddie Lawrence was trapped lbw by Bailey for nought, his 2nd duck of the season and 2nd of his career from 12 innings, nudging into the all-time top 110. On this day back in 1958, Tony Snell — that year's Duck of the Year and owner of four ducks in a row — also walked back for nought, against Bearsted CC of all sides. And then the main event. John Thirkell, bowled by Baker, recorded his 2nd duck of the season — but his 42nd of a monumental career spanning 307 innings, which keeps him exactly where he has long resided: 1st of 726 in Linton's all-time duck standings. A three-time Duck of the Year (1952, 1954, 1955), a fixture of the Ducks on the Road and Homebody Duck top tens, and a Quacking Together veteran alongside both Bob Arnold and William Buck, Thirkell remains the undisputed emperor of the zero club. Like Lawrence before him, his on-this-day parallel is Tony Snell's 1958 nought. 📅 Week in summary Three ducks, two matches, one team doing all the damage — the 1st XI cornered the market this week while everyone else kept their average intact. Two of the three fell at home to Tilling Steven, so those bowlers will fancy a repeat. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Roy Clarke — 9 ducks in 27 innings (33%) 2. Tony Snell — 5 ducks in 8 innings (63%) 3. John Abnett — 4 ducks in 5 innings (80%) 4. Brian Mills — 4 ducks in 8 innings (50%) 5. Bob Arnold — 4 ducks in 20 innings (20%) Watch Bob Arnold up at 5th — he already shares a Quacking Together honour with this week's headline man, Thirkell himself. Whether anyone catches Abnett's eye-watering 80% strike rate before season's end remains to be seen. Next fixture, next chance — the zero club never sleeps. Pad up, or don't, and we'll see you in the ledger. 🦆🍩

Two fixtures at Linton Park this weekend, and the zero club welcomed five new entries to its ledger, all from the 1st XI. A tidy reminder that late September shows no mercy to the specialist blocker. 🏏 Saturday 12th September — v Bowaters CC (home) S Lusher, in at seven, was stumped by John Woollett off Bernard Collins to open his LPCC duck account. It is duck number one of the season and number one of a career just five innings old, placing him 296th of 726 in the all-time table. He arrives alongside - Dampier, whose sole Linton duck came in 1952 and came, rather ominously, with a Debutante Duck, a One and Done, and a presumptive Retirement Duck all in the same afternoon. Lusher, we trust, has a rather longer stay in mind. 🏏 Sunday 13th September — v Tunbridge Wells CC (home) A grim afternoon in the middle order and beyond, as four Linton batsmen queued up for the walk back without troubling the scorers. John Ames was stumped by Don Glanvill off John Piper for his 2nd duck of the season and 19th of a long and distinguished career, good enough for 4th on the all-time list. A fully paid-up member of Ducks in a Row and the Homebody Duck top ten, Ames also extends his Quacking Together partnership with Roy Clarke, who joined him in the pavilion in this very innings. Robert Wood fell lbw to Mike Willard, his 4th of the season and 6th of a career that began, fittingly, with a Debutante Duck some years back. He draws level on career ducks with D Sells (1943-44), who reached six in just 14 innings and wore the Duck of the Year crown in 1943. Roy Clarke, caught and bowled by Mike Willard, brought up his 9th duck of the season, a tally already leading the current Duck Hunting Season table by some distance, and his 16th career duck, 6th on the all-time roll of dishonour. 1959 is officially Clarke's year: he holds the Duck of the Year 1959 title, and duly proved it by quacking together with John Ames for the second time in the innings. He is level on career ducks with the mighty Stan Wratten (1943-59, 172 innings), and joins a small dynasty of Clarkes, sibling H Clarke having chipped in two career ducks of his own. John Abnett completed the rout, bowled by Mike Willard for his 4th duck of the season and 14th of his career, good for 11th all-time. A charter member of Ducks in a Row, Abnett is now level with Frank Sutton (1925-49), twice Duck of the Year in the 1940s, who took 62 innings to reach the total Abnett has managed in 36. 📋 Week in Brief Five ducks from two matches, four of them arriving in a single Tunbridge Wells innings. Mike Willard alone accounted for three, a spell the Linton dressing room will not remember fondly. Bowaters, by contrast, got away with contributing just the one. 0️⃣ Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Roy Clarke — 26 inns, 9 ducks (34.62%) 2. Tony Snell — 7 inns, 5 ducks (71.43%) 3. John Abnett — 5 inns, 4 ducks (80.00%) 4. Brian Mills — 7 inns, 4 ducks (57.14%) 5. Bob Arnold — 19 inns, 4 ducks (21.05%) With Clarke setting the pace and Abnett breathing down his neck, the race for the 1959 crown is very much alive. Next fixture, same rules apply — middle stump exposed, bat raised, ledger open. 🦆

A rare and troubling bulletin from your correspondent this week: two fixtures played, not a single duck recorded. The Club can only assume the entire Linton Park batting order suddenly remembered how a bat works. 🏏 The Weekend That Wasn't Both matches came and went without so much as a nervous nick to the keeper. Eleven men per side, twenty-two per match, forty-four opportunities for ignominy in total — and the zero club processed not one new application. Somewhere, the honours board gathers dust and mutters darkly about complacency. It happens. Even the most dedicated poultry farmer has a fallow week. Consider it a temporary ceasefire rather than a retirement — the ducks have merely gone quiet, not extinct, and normal service will surely resume the moment somebody gets ideas above their station against a moving new ball. 0️⃣ A Note on the Art of Not Scoring Let it be recorded that "not scoring" and "not getting out for nought" are two entirely different pursuits, and this weekend the Club regrettably excelled at neither in the celebrated sense. No golden ducks, no pairs, no family affairs to toast. A quiet weekend for the dishonours board — savour it, because it won't last. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard — 1959 1. Roy Clarke — 8 ducks from 25 innings (32.0%) 2. Tony Snell — 5 ducks from 7 innings (71.43%) 3. Brian Mills — 4 ducks from 7 innings (57.14%) 4. Bob Arnold — 4 ducks from 18 innings (22.22%) 5. John Abnett — 3 ducks from 4 innings (75.0%) Tony Snell and John Abnett remain a genuine menace at the crease with strike rates for failure most bowlers would sell their whites for, while Roy Clarke leads on sheer volume — consistency, as ever, of a very particular kind. 📅 Looking Ahead Rest assured, the Duck Club selectors remain vigilant and fully expect the drought to break at the earliest opportunity. Get down to the next fixture, take guard with appropriate caution, and remember: the zero club never truly sleeps, it simply waits. 🦆🍩

A rare and faintly embarrassing dispatch this week, members: the Duck Club draws a blank. Two fixtures were played across the 29th and 30th of August, and by whatever conspiracy of application, luck or simply keeping bat vertical, not a single Linton batsman troubled the scorers for nought. Eleven-plus willow wielders per side, twice over, and the zero club gained not one new entry. 🏏 It happens. Even the most committed practitioners of the art of not scoring must occasionally rest on their laurels — or, in this case, fail entirely to add to them. Roy Clarke, Tony Snell and company will no doubt be disappointed to have missed the opportunity to extend their leads, but the season is young yet and there remain fixtures aplenty in which to resume normal service. Consider this weekend less a defeat for the Duck Club and more a well-earned bye. The ducks, it seems, went into hiding. They will not stay hidden for long. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 - Roy Clarke — 8 ducks in 25 innings (32%) - Tony Snell — 5 ducks in 7 innings (71.43%) — a formidable strike rate in the wrong direction - Brian Mills — 4 ducks in 7 innings (57.14%) - Bob Arnold — 4 ducks in 17 innings (23.53%) - John Abnett — 3 ducks in 4 innings (75%) — early days, but the early signs are ominous Tony Snell and John Abnett remain the pace-setters by percentage, both flirting with the sort of duck-rate that turns heads for entirely the wrong reasons. Roy Clarke leads on raw volume and shows no sign of slowing his pursuit of the club's more storied names. Next fixture, normal service should resume. The zero club never sleeps for long — see you all back here with fresh casualties next weekend. 0️⃣🍩🦆

Two fixtures on the books this weekend, but only one troubled the scorers in the most spectacular way — the 1st XI's trip to Charles Arkcoll delivered a full house of ignominy, three ducks in the same innings. Eerily, on this very calendar date back in 1953, J Barclay (1953–54) also made a duck against these same opponents. Charles Arkcoll, it seems, has form for extracting noughts from Linton Park. 🏏 1st XI (away) v Charles Arkcoll At number 7, Roy Clarke was caught by Randolph Thompson off Stan Wratten for his 8th duck of the season and 15th of an increasingly storied career — good enough for 8th on the all-time list of 723. Roy currently sits proudly atop the 1959 Duck of the Year table, and with sibling H Clarke already a paid-up member on 2 career ducks, the art of not scoring plainly runs in the family. His dismissal echoes J Barclay's own duck against Charles Arkcoll on this exact day in 1953. In at 10, Alan Wilkes fell c & b John Ames — his 2nd of the season but a tidy 10th career duck, 18th on the all-time honours board. Alan is a two-time inductee of the "Only Two Quacks" club, having shared the dubious distinction with both Bob Arnold and, somewhat awkwardly, his own bowler on the day. Like his captain before him, Alan's nought landed on the very date J Barclay made his in 1953. And rounding off the collapse at number 11, Tony Snell was caught by Sean Carter, again off John Ames — a hat-trick of victims to the same bowler. It's his 5th duck of the season and 18th career, propelling him to a mighty 5th on the all-time list. Tony already carries the 1958 Duck of the Year crown, a "Ducks in a Row" honour for four on the bounce, and the fearsome pedigree of a Runaway Duck season in 1958 without a single run to his name. And yes — his fall too landed on J Barclay's 1953 anniversary. Charles Arkcoll clearly keep a diary. 📋 Week in Summary Two matches, three ducks, one bowler — John Ames — doing for two of the three, and the entire haul confined to a single 1st XI innings. Consistency of a very particular kind. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Roy Clarke — 24 inns, 8 ducks (33.3%) 2. Tony Snell — 7 inns, 5 ducks (71.4%) 3. Brian Mills — 7 inns, 4 ducks (57.1%) 4. Bob Arnold — 15 inns, 4 ducks (26.7%) 5. John Abnett — 4 inns, 3 ducks (75.0%) Roy leads on volume, but Tony and John Abnett are quietly setting the pace on percentage — nobody atop this table is in what you'd call form. The season rolls on, and Charles Arkcoll remain stubbornly unlucky opponents for LPCC bats. Same time next week, same ceremonial silence at the crease. 🦆🍩

Saturday's fixture passed by disappointingly fowl-free — not a single nought to report, the sort of afternoon that leaves the Duck Club scratching its head. But patience is a virtue, and Sunday's clash with Mote A more than made amends. 🏏 1st XI v Mote A (Home) Eddie Lawrence opened the innings and, sadly, opened the Duck Club's account for the weekend too — trapped lbw by S. Kitchin. It's his first duck of the 1959 season and just his second visit to the crease that's ended in nought across 9 career innings, leaving him a tidy 203rd of 723 in the all-time reckoning. Rather splendidly, on this very day back in 1953, none other than John Ames also fell for a duck against Mote A — the same fixture, the same calendar date, six years apart. Ames finished with 18 career ducks and sits 4th on the all-time list, a name attached to no fewer than five honours — Ducks in a Row, Homebody Duck, and Quacking Together partnerships with both Roy Clarke and Stan Wratten. Good company to keep, even in ignominy. Barely had the scorers reset before Pat Hardwick strolled to the crease at first drop and departed just as swiftly, caught by a substitute off I. Milsted. A second duck for the 1st XI inside the same innings — the club's very own back-to-back tribute act. It's Pat's 2nd duck of the season and career, from 15 innings, ranking 134th of 723. And wouldn't you know it — Pat too finds himself standing alongside John Ames, who made his own duck against Mote A on this same date in 1953. Two Linton batsmen, one bowling side, one historical ghost looking on approvingly from 1953. 📋 Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks, both delivered by the same fixture against Mote A — proof that some oppositions simply have the Duck Club's number. Saturday, by contrast, was a monastic affair of pure restraint. A quiet week by recent standards, but quality over quantity, as they say — or don't, in this case. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Roy Clarke — 23 innings, 7 ducks (30.43%) 2. Tony Snell — 6 innings, 4 ducks (66.67%) 3. Brian Mills — 7 innings, 4 ducks (57.14%) 4. Bob Arnold — 14 innings, 4 ducks (28.57%) 5. John Abnett — 4 innings, 3 ducks (75.0%) John Abnett's 75% strike rate remains a thing of terrifying consistency, while Roy Clarke leads on volume alone. Plenty of season left for the order to be shuffled. 🍩 Onwards to next weekend, where the Duck Club's talent scouts will, as ever, be watching every LBW shout and thick edge with keen anticipation. The zero club never sleeps.

A modest but perfectly formed weekend for the exclusive zero club, with three fresh names inked into the 1959 ledger across two matches. Headcorn on Saturday, Harrietsham on Sunday — the art of not scoring travelled well. 1st XI Saturday, away to Headcorn CC — Bob Arnold, batting at 8, was caught and bowled by J Maybourne for his 4th duck of the season and 30th of a long and distinguished LPCC career, a tally that plants him at a mighty 2nd in the all-time standings of 723. Bob is a long-standing resident of the Ducks in a Row honours board and of Only Two Quacks and Quacking Together besides, company he keeps with Alan Wilkes and John Thirkell respectively. On this very day in 1892, LPCC's Jack Fryer (1881–1906, twice Duck of the Year and 12 to his name) was doing exactly the same thing against Royal Engineers CC. Some traditions simply refuse to die. Sunday, home to Harrietsham CC — a rare double helping, with Keith Chaney doing the damage twice over. Robert Wood departed at number 9, bowled, for his 3rd duck of the season and 5th of his career, rank 47 of 723, and a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from his actual first-ever innings. Moments later John Abnett followed at 10, caught by J Wisden off the same bowler, his 3rd of the season and 13th career duck, good enough for a startling 12th on the all-time list and continued membership of the Ducks in a Row board. Fittingly, this very fixture and date carries history of its own — on 9th August 1904, Jack Fryer made yet another duck, that time against the Leeds Castle CC House Team, a name determined to turn up on every page of this almanac. Week in Summary Three ducks from two matches, Keith Chaney the pick of the executioners with a brace to his name, and top honours of the weekend to Bob Arnold's continued assault on the all-time podium. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Roy Clarke — 7 ducks, 23 innings (30.4%) - Tony Snell — 4 ducks, 6 innings (66.7%) - Brian Mills — 4 ducks, 7 innings (57.1%) - Bob Arnold — 4 ducks, 13 innings (30.8%) - John Abnett — 3 ducks, 4 innings (75.0%) With more fixtures on the horizon, the ducks will no doubt be circling again. Bring your bat, and preferably use it. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A quiet week for most of the club, but the 1st XI more than made up the shortfall with four ducks in two matches — three of them coming off the same over-worked shoulder of one Aylesford bowler. 🏏 Saturday — away to Aylesford Paper Mills CC The rot set in at number seven, where Roy Clarke was bowled by J Lee without scoring. It's his 7th duck of the season and 14th of an increasingly distinguished career in 67 innings, keeping him at a lofty 10th of 723 in the all-time charts and squarely atop this year's Duck of the Year standings — a crown the honours board already has his name pencilled against for 1959. He has previous company on the day itself: on this very date back in 1910, a Rev F A Leveson-Gower was also dismissed for nought, against Maidstone Conservative Club CC no less. Clarke also has a sibling in the family firm, H Clarke, quietly amassing 2 career ducks of his own — the art of not scoring, it seems, runs in the blood. J Lee wasn't finished. Numbers ten and eleven, Terry Whittaker and Tony Snell, both fell in near-identical fashion — caught Cliff Anscombe, bowled J Lee — handing the bowler a tidy brace of tail-enders and Anscombe two safe catches for his trouble. Whittaker moves to 2 for the season and 3 for his career in 21 innings, 93rd of 723 all-time, and carries paid-up membership of both the Quacking Together board (with Brian Relf) and the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell. Snell, meanwhile, is quietly building a formidable CV — his 4th duck of the season lifts him to 17 career ducks in just 50 innings, a startling 5th of 723 all-time, backed by a Duck of the Year gong from 1958, a "Ducks in a Row" honour, and the small matter of a Runaway Duck season with no runs at all to his name that year. Both tail-enders share the Leveson-Gower coincidence with Clarke — quite the reunion on Maidstone Road, forty-nine years apart. 🌱 Sunday — home to Newington CC Pat Hardwick was run out for nought at first drop, his opening entry to the Duck Club — 1st of the season, 1st of his career in 11 innings, 278th of 723 all-time. On this same day in 1944, one E- Humphreys was likewise dismissed without scoring, against the splendidly named National Fire Service Overseas Contingent. Some coincidences transcend the decades. 📋 Week in summary Four ducks, two matches, and J Lee can fairly claim to have run a one-man cull through the Aylesford innings. No pairs, no family affairs, and nothing from the 2nds, 3rds or 4ths this week — they'll want to pull their weight before the Duck of the Year race gets away from them. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Roy Clarke — 22 inns, 7 ducks (31.8%) - Tony Snell — 6 inns, 4 ducks (66.7%) - Brian Mills — 7 inns, 4 ducks (57.1%) - Michael Fagg — 5 inns, 3 ducks (60.0%) - William Buck — 11 inns, 3 ducks (27.3%) Snell's strike rate for failure is now genuinely alarming — two in three innings ending in nought. Next weekend's fixtures await, and the exclusive zero club, as ever, keeps its doors wide open. 🍩

A quieter weekend by Duck Club standards, but no less rich in ceremony for it — four fresh entries to the ledger across two 1st XI outings, headlined by a proper family occasion. 🏏 Saturday — Tovil (Home) The Clarke household supplied both of Saturday's casualties. Roy Clarke, stumped down the leg side off D- Hitchin, moves to 6 ducks for the 1959 season and 13 for his career from 66 innings — good enough for 11th on the all-time list of 723, and a season tally that currently leads the entire club. "Duck of the Year 1959" already sits on his honours board, which rather suggests this is a title being defended, not merely chased. He also keeps rare company as one half of "Quacking Together" alongside club great John Ames. Next in was sibling H Clarke, bowled by J- Morrison for a second duck of the summer, bringing up 2 career ducks from just 9 innings and 115th of 723 — a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from a first-ever knock long past. Together the Clarkes complete a rare "Two of a Quack" — sibling following sibling back to the pavilion in the same innings against Tovil, precisely the shared misfortune this club exists to honour. Fittingly, both share a footnote in history too: on this very date in 1925, W Turner also made a duck, against Bearsted CC no less. 🌱 Sunday — Folkestone CC (Away) Robert Wood departed for nought at number 8, bowled by Gerald Jeanes — his second duck of the season and fourth of a career now standing at 28 innings, 65th on the all-time roll and, like the Clarkes, a graduate of the Debutante Duck honours. Last man Tony Snell was cleaned up by John Spanswick for his third duck of the season, taking him to 16 for a career built on a mere 49 innings — a strike rate fierce enough for 6th of all 723 names ever to trouble the club's zero column. Duck of the Year back in 1958, and a veteran of both "Ducks in a Row" and a whole runless "Runaway Duck" season, Snell wears his pedigree lightly these days. Robert and Tony share their own footnote: on this same date in 1940, J Short also made a duck, away at Boughton Monchelsea CC. 📅 The Week in Short Four ducks, two matches, one proper family occasion — the Clarke siblings' shared trudge back to the pavilion is exactly the sort of thing this club was founded to celebrate. Nobody went first ball this week either — small mercies in the exclusive zero club. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Roy Clarke — 21 inns, 6 ducks (28.6%) - Brian Mills — 7 inns, 4 ducks (57.1%) - Michael Fagg — 5 inns, 3 ducks (60.0%) - Tony Snell — 5 inns, 3 ducks (60.0%) - William Buck — 10 inns, 3 ducks (30.0%) Roy Clarke sits clear at the top, but with Michael Fagg and William Buck lurking on handsome percentages, next weekend promises more names for the ledger. The Duck Club awaits, as ever, with open arms. 🦆

Slim pickings from Linton Park this week — two fixtures, and the zero club managed to smuggle just the one specimen through customs. But what a specimen, ladies and gentlemen. 🏏 Saturday 18th July — 1st XI v Rumwood CC (home) In at five and out for nought, Bob Arnold departed courtesy of a sharp take from D- Land off the bowling of G- Wood — c D- Land b G- Wood in the book, and another line added to what is fast becoming Linton's most distinguished ledger of failure. This is Bob's 3rd duck of the season and, remarkably, his 29th for the club — good enough to hold him at 2nd of 722 in the all-time standings. Only one man in the club's entire history has collected more noughts than Bob Arnold, which is either a tremendous achievement or a tremendous cause for concern, depending which side of the boundary rope you're stood on. Bob arrives at this milestone already a fixture of the honours board, a veteran of the exclusive Ducks in a Row club for four consecutive quacks in his time, and a founding member of two of the more sociable categories going — Only Two Quacks alongside Alan Wilkes, and Quacking Together with John Thirkell. Company, it seems, is never far away when Bob walks back. And in a pleasing quirk of the calendar — on this day in 1954, five years almost to the very date, John --'s Taylor (1949–1958) also strolled back for nought, albeit against John Larkings rather than Rumwood. The art of not scoring, it appears, has its own anniversaries. 📊 Week in Summary One duck from two matches is a quiet week by Linton's usual generous standards — but when the sole entrant is the club's number two all-time collector adding to an already gilded résumé, quality has rather made up for quantity. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Roy Clarke — 5 ducks in 19 innings (26.32%) 2. Brian Mills — 4 ducks in 7 innings (57.14%) 3. Michael Fagg — 3 ducks in 5 innings (60.00%) 4. William Buck — 3 ducks in 9 innings (33.33%) 5. Bob Arnold — 3 ducks in 10 innings (30.00%) A tight scrap for top spot, with Michael Fagg's frankly alarming 60% duck rate keeping the whole table honest. 🦆 Roll on the next fixture — the ducks are surely only resting, not retired. Bring your bat, and bring your sense of humour.

Three fixtures on the books this week, two of them a home-and-away double bill against Tovil, and between them the exclusive zero club signed up five new members to its ever-growing ledger. Saturday 11 July — Tovil (Home) - Brian Mills fell for his 4th duck of the season and 4th of his career from just 7 innings, bowled by R- Brigden — 50th of 722 in the all-time reckoning. A fine early return for a man who is, naturally, a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, having opened his LPCC account the very same way some years back. On this exact date in 1943, Stan Wratten also made a duck, against Royal Artillery Wing — he finished on 16 for 5th all-time, and, amusingly, shares the "Quacking Together" board with a name appearing further down this very report. - Terry Whittaker edged one to the keeper off D- Jordan for his 1st duck of the season and 2nd of his career from 20 innings — 141st all-time. He shares Stan Wratten's 1943 date too, good company on a bad afternoon, and carries both the "Quacking Together" and "Retirement Duck" honours from seasons past, though today's dismissal was very much not a farewell. - Tony Snell, lbw to D- Jordan, brought up his 2nd duck of the season and a hefty 15th of his career from 48 innings — 7th of 722 all-time. This is the same operator who claimed Duck of the Year in 1958, once reeled off four ducks in a row, and famously went that entire season without troubling the scorers — a genuine grandmaster of the art of not scoring, and another name drawn to this date alongside Stan Wratten. Sunday 12 July — Tovil (Away) - John Ames, stumped off R- Brigden, notched his 1st duck of the season and 18th of his career from 133 innings — a mighty 4th of 722 all-time. Few names carry more silverware in this club: Ducks in a Row, a place in the Homebody Duck top 10, and three separate Quacking Together partnerships across the decades, Stan Wratten among them. - William Buck, bowled by Brian Fridd, took his 3rd duck of the season and 14th of his career from 204 innings — 10th all-time, and already honoured on the Quacking Together board alongside John Thirkell. He now sits level on 14 with Frank Sutton, who played 1925 to 1949 across 62 innings and twice took the Duck of the Year crown. Week in Summary Five ducks from three matches, every one of them landing in the Tovil double-header — the third fixture kept an entirely clean sheet. A week where the club's elder statesmen did the heavy lifting, with two top-ten all-time names, John Ames and Tony Snell, both walking back for nought within a day of one another. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 Roy Clarke — 5 ducks, 18 innings (27.78%) 🥈 Brian Mills — 4 ducks, 7 innings (57.14%) 🥉 Michael Fagg — 3 ducks, 5 innings (60.0%) 4. William Buck — 3 ducks, 8 innings (37.5%) 5. R- Spillane — 2 ducks, 2 innings (100.0%) Brian Mills and William Buck both padded out their tallies this very week and remain firmly in the hunt for the crown. The next fixture beckons, and the ducks are already circling. Bring your bat — or don't bother 🏏🦆

A quiet weekend for the exclusive zero club — just two fixtures and a single, but perfectly formed, addition to the honours board. 🏏 Saturday — Hambros Bank Batting at four, Michael Fagg fell bowled by D Rankin, adding a third duck to his season tally and, tidily enough, his third career duck too, from just six innings — a strike rate for nought that's hard to ignore. He sits 84th of 721 in the all-time standings, and is already a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell, so evidently no stranger to walking off without troubling the scorers. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1943, Herbert Sunley was doing much the same thing against Mr Ashby's XI — his fifth career duck, and good enough for 43rd all-time. Some traditions, it seems, are worth keeping across the decades. 🌱 Sunday The second fixture of the weekend played spoilsport, with bat meeting ball rather too often for Duck Club purposes — nothing further to report. Quiet, but the season's still young. 📋 Week in Summary One duck from two matches — the ducks largely evaded capture this weekend, with only Michael Fagg willing to carry the torch. A quiet week is, of course, merely the calm before the next collapse. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Roy Clarke — 15 innings, 5 ducks, 33.33% - Michael Fagg — 5 innings, 3 ducks, 60.00% - Brian Mills — 6 innings, 3 ducks, 50.00% - R Spillane — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100.00% - John Abnett — 3 innings, 2 ducks, 66.67% Roy Clarke holds a narrow lead at the top, but with Michael Fagg and Brian Mills both maintaining fearsome duck rates from short innings counts, the race for Duck of the Year 1959 is very much alive. 🍩 Until next weekend, the season continues — bats will be swung, balls will beat them, and the Duck Club stands ready to welcome its next member with open wings. 0️⃣🦆

Two fixtures on the books this week, and while Saturday passed off refreshingly duck-free, Sunday's trip to face A.Trembeths turned into a proper cull — four Linton batsmen shuffled back for nought in the very same innings. The art of not scoring, on full display. 1st XI — away to A.Trembeths The rot set in at four, where Michael Fagg was run out for nought — his 2nd duck of the season and 2nd of a young career already standing at 5 innings, good enough for 127th on the all-time list. Fagg is also a paid-up member of the "Retirement Duck" honours board from a past farewell innings, so he keeps distinguished, if scoreless, company there. Four down the order at number 8, John Abnett fell caught for his 2nd duck of the campaign and his 12th for the club in just 34 innings — enough to hold a lofty 13th all-time. Abnett also carries the "Ducks in a Row" honour, having once reeled off four consecutive noughts, a feat of dogged consistency this correspondent can only admire from a safe distance. One place later, Roy Clarke went the same way, caught for his 5th duck of the season — extending his lead at the top of this year's Duck of the Year table — and his 12th in a 59-innings career, level with Linton greats Bert Buckoke (1928–1953) and Jack Fryer (1881–1906), and now rank 14 all-time. Clarke's name already sits on the "Quacking Together" board alongside John Ames, and with sibling H Clarke also holding a career duck of his own, the noughts evidently run in the family. To complete the set, Richard Harris departed at 10 for his 1st duck of the season, his 29th in a 155-innings career — remarkably good enough for 2nd on the all-time list, trailing only the mighty John Thirkell. One wonders how long Harris can hold off the summit. Fittingly, this very day in 1882 also saw a Linton batsman fall for nought against Marden CC, Kent — J Sedgwick, whose brief 1881–82 career yielded 4 ducks and the 1881 Duck of the Year crown. All four of Sunday's fallen share that same anniversary. Something in the Kent air, perhaps. Week in Summary Four ducks, two matches, and every single one arriving in one innings — the top order survived, the middle and lower order did not. A collapse of genuinely ceremonial proportions. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Roy Clarke — 14 innings, 5 ducks (35.71%) - Brian Mills — 6 innings, 3 ducks (50.00%) - R- Spillane — 2 innings, 2 ducks (100.00%) - John Abnett — 3 innings, 2 ducks (66.67%) - Michael Fagg — 4 innings, 2 ducks (50.00%) Clarke sets the early pace in the race for Duck of the Year 1959, but there's a long summer left. Next fixture awaits — bat carefully out there, or don't, we'll be watching either way 🦆🏏0️⃣

Two fixtures on the books this weekend and the Duck Club rolls out only a single new entry to the register — but what it lacks in quantity it makes up for in pedigree. 🏏 1st XI at Rumwood Away to Rumwood CC on Saturday, Robert Wood came in at seven and departed bowled by A. Chapman without troubling the scorers. It's his 3rd duck of the season and, more tellingly, his 3rd career duck from 22 innings — good enough for 89th on the all-time roll of dishonour of 718. A paid-up member of the exclusive Debutante Duck club, Robert's very first Linton innings ended in a nought, though today's effort stands entirely on its own scoreless merit. Spookily, on this very day back in 1954, William Blight (1953–1959, 10 career ducks, 20th all-time) was also trudging back for a duck against Hambros Bank. Five years apart, same calendar date, same walk of shame — the Duck Club's version of history rhyming. 📊 Week in Summary A quiet weekend by Duck Club standards — just the one duck across two matches. Whether the rest of the batting line-ups were simply too well-set to oblige, or Chapman's bowling was reserved solely for Robert Wood, we may never know. Either way, the ducks proved elusive this week, evading the net almost entirely. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Roy Clarke — 13 innings, 4 ducks (30.77%) 2. Brian Mills — 5 innings, 3 ducks (60.00%) — a startling rate for a man still finding his feet 3. R. Spillane — 2 innings, 2 ducks (100.00%) — perfect consistency, of a very particular kind 4. William Buck — 7 innings, 2 ducks (28.57%) 5. Bob Arnold — 8 innings, 2 ducks (25.00%) Brian Mills, incidentally, sits on exactly 3 career ducks — level company with Robert Wood himself, along with a small crowd of Linton names stretching back to 1881. The zero club has never been short of company. 🍩 Looking Ahead Slim pickings this week, but the season is young and Roy Clarke shows no signs of relinquishing top spot without a fight. Next weekend's fixtures await — bring your bats, gentlemen, and if you can't trouble the scorers, at least trouble the record books. The Duck Club will be watching. 0️⃣🦆

A quiet weekend for the fowl-hunters by recent standards, but the exclusive zero club never fully closes its doors, and the 1st XI kept the lights on across both days out. Saturday 13th — 1st XI away at Headcorn CC Number eleven Peter Hughes wasted no time announcing himself, bowled by W- Ward for nought on his very first senior appearance. A debut duck is one of cricket's purest ironies and Peter is now formally inducted onto the Debutante Duck board, taking up residence at 277th of 718 in the all-time ledger. Splendidly, on this exact date back in 1943 Herbert Sunley was doing much the same against the Home Guard's Maidstone 11th Battalion, en route to five career ducks of his own — so there's a precedent, Peter, for turning a rough start into a proper collection. Sunday 14th — 1st XI away at Halfway House Opener Stan Wratten fell early, bowled by Don Capeling, his first duck of the summer but his 16th for the club overall — enough to keep him parked at a mighty 5th of 718 all-time. Stan remains a proud member of the Quacking Together board alongside John Ames, proof that misery enjoys the best company. Neatly, on this very 14th of June back in 1882, C Gibbs was contributing his own nought against Boxley CC's 1st Innings — his career amounted to just the one duck against Stan's sixteen, so consistency of a very particular kind clearly runs deeper in some than others. He had company in the returning-hut. At number nine John Abnett also departed for nought, bowled by Peter Bedelle, his 11th career duck from a brisk 33 innings — good enough for 14th on the all-time list and a place on the Ducks in a Row board for four consecutive noughts, a genuine feat of sustained failure. Fittingly, John shares his on-this-day company with C Gibbs too, who was busy not scoring against Boxley on this same date in 1882. Two Linton men, 77 years apart, united in nought. Week in summary Three ducks from two matches, all shouldered by the 1st XI, and all three victims caught, bowled or otherwise dismissed without so much as troubling the scorer — a clean sweep for the bowlers, a triumph through adversity for the club's honours boards. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Roy Clarke — 4 ducks in 11 innings (36%) - Brian Mills — 3 ducks in 5 innings (60%) - R- Spillane — 2 ducks in 2 innings (100%) - William Buck — 2 ducks in 6 innings (33%) - Bob Arnold — 2 ducks in 7 innings (29%) R- Spillane's flawless record remains the standard nobody wants to beat, while Roy Clarke sits comfortably atop the pile heading into the second half of the season. Next fixture awaits, and with it the promise of fresh additions to the ledger. The Duck Club never sleeps — see you at the crease. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Two fixtures on the books this weekend, and the exclusive zero club held its ceremony at just one of them, Tilling Steven away, where the 1st XI queue formed early and often. 1st XI, away to Tilling Steven Brian Mills, promoted to first drop, made scarcely more of his innings than the walk out and back, bowled by F- Baker for his 3rd duck of the season and 3rd of a still-young senior career, 5 innings in and already 71st of 716 on the all-time list. A long-standing member of the Debutante Duck club too, his very first Linton innings some seasons back also brought nought, so today's effort felt almost like tradition reasserting itself. On this very date in 1903, George Champion (1886 to 1912, Duck of the Year 1897) was doing exactly the same thing against Town Malling CC, proof that some anniversaries keep themselves without any help. At number 8, Roy Clarke joined the returning-early queue moments later, also undone by F- Baker, also bowled, for his 4th duck of the season and 11th of an increasingly decorated career, good enough for 16th of 716 all time. Roy currently holds the reins of Duck of the Year 1959 and shows no urgency to relinquish them, and remains one half of "Quacking Together" alongside club stalwart John Ames, though Ames kept his boots dry this time round. A chip off the old block too, with sibling H Clarke a fellow member of the club on a career duck of his own. Roy shares his on-this-day company with Brian, the very same George Champion also walking back for nought on this exact date in 1903. Two batsmen, one bowler, one long walk back twice over. F- Baker will have enjoyed his afternoon considerably more than the top order did. Week in brief Two matches, two ducks, both from the same fixture. The second match of the weekend passed entirely without incident, a rare outbreak of competence from all concerned. Both victims fell to the same bowler in the same innings, which is either very good bowling or very bad luck depending which dressing room is asked. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Roy Clarke, 9 innings, 4 ducks (44%) - Brian Mills, 5 innings, 3 ducks (60%) - R- Spillane, 2 innings, 2 ducks (100%) - William Buck, 5 innings, 2 ducks (40%) - Bob Arnold, 6 innings, 2 ducks (33%) Spillane's perfect record remains untouchable for now, and Mills is closing the gap fast should the fixtures keep coming his way. The next match is never far off, and on current form, nor is the next nought. See you at the crease, or more likely on the walk back from it. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Two fixtures, four visits to the naught column, and a genuine slice of Duck Club history — a sibling double no less. The exclusive zero club welcomes its latest inductees. Saturday 30 May — Old Williamsonians CC (home) - H Clarke walked in at four and walked straight back out, bowled by Farrow without scoring. A debut innings, and therefore an instant, involuntary enrolment onto the Debutante Duck board (rank 222 of 715) — there are faster ways to make your mark, but few so memorable. Splendidly, on this very day in 1943 Frank Sutton was doing exactly the same thing against Home Guard - D Company, en route to two Duck of the Year titles (1940, 1946) across a 24-year Linton career. - Two places later, brother Roy Clarke followed him back, also to Farrow, for his 3rd duck of the season and 10th of a career now standing at 52 innings (rank 19 of 715). Roy currently leads the 1959 Duck of the Year race outright, and carries a Quacking Together credential alongside club legend John Ames. Fittingly, his fall shares its calendar date with Frank Sutton's 1943 effort too — some days are simply built for it. - Arthur Cradduck rounded things off, run out for nought by a mix-up nobody present is owning — his 1st duck of the season and 8th career nought from 47 innings (rank 25 of 715). A past Duck of the Year himself back in 1951, Arthur joins the Sutton parallel for a third time this innings. 🍩 Family honours: a proper Two of a Quack — H and Roy Clarke, brothers both back in the hutch to Farrow inside the same innings. The Duck Club doesn't get to toast a bloodline double often; Saturday obliged in style. Sunday 31 May — Folkestone CC (home) - William Buck opened and closed his account almost immediately, bowled John Spanswick for his 2nd duck of the season and 13th career nought from a substantial 201 innings — a lofty 10th of 715 all time, and half of a standing Quacking Together pairing with John Thirkell. On this same day in 1958, Frank Brattle also made a duck, one stop on the way to an eventual 8-duck career. Week in summary: 4 ducks from 2 matches, the full set courtesy of the 1st XI, topped off by a rare sibling pairing at the top of the order. Old Williamsonians clearly enjoyed Linton's hospitality rather more than Linton's batsmen did their bowling. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1959 - Roy Clarke — 7 innings, 3 ducks (42.86%) - R- Spillane — 2 innings, 2 ducks (100%) - Bob Arnold — 4 innings, 2 ducks (50%) - Brian Mills — 4 innings, 2 ducks (50%) - William Buck — 5 innings, 2 ducks (40%) Roy Clarke sits handsomely clear at the top, with Spillane's flawless 100% strike rate keeping things honest. 🏏 Next fixture beckons — bring your bats, gentlemen, and bring your excuses too. The Duck Club never sleeps, and neither, apparently, does Farrow's bowling. 0️⃣🦆

A quiet weekend on the Duck Hunting front, but the Committee of Nought Affairs remains ever vigilant, and one name duly made it onto this week's card. 🏏 Saturday 23rd May — 1st XI v Gore Court CC (Home) Opening the innings and opening the account for the wrong side of the ledger was Basil Sears, caught J Vince, bowled David Ledger, without troubling the scorers. It's Basil's 1st duck of the 1959 season and his 9th for the club, moving him to 22nd in Linton's all-time standings from 170 innings — thoroughly respectable company for a man who clearly enjoys the art of not scoring. Splendidly, on this very day back in 1953, Gerald Wright (1952–1954) also made a duck against Gore Court CC. History, it seems, has a fondness for repeating itself at this particular fixture. Gerald sits one place behind Basil at 23rd all-time, also on 9 — kindred spirits separated by six seasons and one rung of the ladder. 🌱 Sunday 24th May The Sunday fixture passed off entirely duck-free — a rare and fleeting moment of batting competence to report from the wider club. 📊 Week in Summary Two matches, one duck, and Gore Court CC once again proving itself fertile ground for Linton's historical quacking. A gentle week for the Committee, but the season is young yet — plenty of time for the exclusive zero club to swell its ranks. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. R- Spillane — 2 ducks from 2 innings (100%) 2. Bob Arnold — 2 ducks from 3 innings (67%) 3. Brian Mills — 2 ducks from 3 innings (67%) 4. Roy Clarke — 2 ducks from 6 innings (33%) 5. S House — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) Spillane leads the 1959 Duck of the Year race on a flawless record — can anyone catch him before the season turns? 🏏0️⃣ Until next week, keep your eye on the ball, gentlemen — the Duck Club will be watching regardless.

A middling week for run-scoring turned into rather a vintage one for the Zero Club, five noughts recorded across two fixtures and every last one of them credited to the 1st XI. 🏏 Saturday 16th — Gore Court CC (away) Bob Arnold departed for nought, bowled by David Ledger, his second duck of the young season and 28th of a storied career now spanning 127 innings. That tally keeps him lodged at a magnificent #2 in the all-time standings, second only to the seemingly untouchable John Thirkell, and a proud holder of Ducks in a Row honours besides. On this very day back in 1943, L- Breedon was doing much the same against the Royal Army Service Corps 533 Division — some traditions simply endure. Lower down, R- Spillane fell run out for a second successive duck, making it two from two innings for the season and, remarkably, two from two for an entire career so far — a flawless start in the art of not scoring if ever there was one. Already a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from his first-ever knock, and carrying Retirement Duck honours from a past farewell, Spillane sits 134th all-time. He shares his on-this-day parallel with Arnold — 1943, Breedon, same tune. 🏏 Wednesday 20th — Tilling Steven (away) A torrid middle order at Tilling Steven, where R- Bailey found something. Michael Fagg went first, caught off Bailey for his maiden career duck from just two innings, Retirement Duck honours already banked from a previous chapter. He walks in step with club legend John Thirkell, who made a duck on this same day in 1950 against Charles Arkcoll — Thirkell sits proudly atop the all-time list on 41, a hoard including three separate Duck of the Year titles. Alan Wilkes followed, bowled by Bailey, his ninth career duck in 42 innings and good for 20th all-time, a man boasting not one but two Only Two Quacks pairings to his name. William Buck went the same way, bowled Bailey, his 12th career duck from 199 innings — a tidy coincidence, 12 ducks and 12th on the all-time list, with a Quacking Together honour alongside Thirkell to boot. Both Wilkes and Buck tip their caps to Thirkell's 1950 vintage. 📊 Week in Summary Five ducks, two fixtures, one common denominator — the 1st XI cornered the market entirely this week, and R- Bailey can consider his afternoon at Tilling Steven a rather good one. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Bob Arnold — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100% - R- Spillane — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100% - Brian Mills — 3 innings, 2 ducks, 67% - Roy Clarke — 5 innings, 2 ducks, 40% - Michael Fagg — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% Arnold and Spillane share top spot on a perfect record of failure so far this season — early days yet, but the standard has been set. Next fixture, more wickets, more ducks. The Club watches, waits, and quietly hopes. 🦆

Five wickets down for not very much at all — the 1st XI's home date with St Lukes Maidstone CC turned into a proper Duck Club convention on the Saturday, and eerily every single nought landed on 9 May, the very date on which, back in 1953, Michael Morton — later Duck of the Year 1956, 11 to his name across 1953-57 — also strolled back for nought, against Bearsted CC no less. History does love a repeat performance. 🥚 🏏 1st XI v St Lukes Maidstone CC (home) Brian Mills fell for nought at three, bowled by D- Musgrave. His second duck of the season, and with career figures now reading a perfect 2 from 2 innings, he's currently batting at a flawless 100% failure rate — a fully paid-up Debutante Duck club member from an innings long past, and 97th on the all-time roll of dubious honour. At seven, S House edged into the record books rather than the scorebook — bowled J- Francis for a maiden LPCC duck, 1 from 12 senior innings, slotting in at 289th all-time. Roy Clarke, caught E- Lawrence bowled D- Musgrave, brought up his second duck of the summer and ninth of an increasingly quack-heavy career from 48 innings, climbing to 22nd all-time. More to the point, that keeps him handsomely out in front for Duck of the Year 1959 — early days yet, but the season's front-runner is already installed. Clarke also carries the Quacking Together honour alongside John Ames, who wisely kept his own name out of this week's ledger. Bob Arnold went the same way, bowled J- Francis, for his first duck of the season but his 27th in an LPCC career — a tally good enough for third on the entire 713-name all-time list. Arnold's cabinet already groans with Ducks in a Row (four consecutive) and shared quacking honours with both Alan Wilkes and John Thirkell. And to round off the rout, debutant R- Spillane departed without troubling the scorers at ten, bowled J- Francis in his very first senior innings for the club — an instant, unwanted induction into the Debutante Duck club, this being the genuine article rather than a repeat offence. Whether a second innings ever arrives is a question for another day. 🍩 📋 Week in summary Five ducks, one thoroughly duck-laden innings, and the weekend's second fixture passed by without troubling the Duck Book at all — a rare mercy for someone. Middle and lower order did all the damage here; the top of the innings escaped entirely unscathed. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Brian Mills — 2 innings, 2 ducks (100%) - Roy Clarke — 3 innings, 2 ducks (66.67%) - Bob Arnold — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - R- Spillane — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - S House — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) The exclusive zero club remains open for business. Next fixture, someone will inevitably add to these numbers — the art of not scoring never rests. 🦆0️⃣

Six into the book across two outings for the 1st XI this weekend, the exclusive zero club welcoming old faces and one very new one. The art of not scoring, alive and well at Linton Park. Saturday 2 May — Bearsted CC (h) Frank Brattle survived two deliveries before Peter Longley had the last word, bowled for his 1st duck of the summer and 8th of a lengthening career (52 innings, 24th in the all-time table). He now sits level with Alan Wilkes, who played 1953–1959 and reached the same 8 in a brisker 41 innings — and, for the genealogically minded, Frank's forebear Percy Brattle already carries 4 career ducks of his own, so the family name is no stranger to the honours board. Brian Mills provided the day's real occasion — out first innings, first ball faced, first everything, bowled Alan Fagg without troubling the scorers. A genuine arrival into the Duck Club, and he goes straight onto the Debutante Duck board for it. He joins the select company of the 1952 debutant "- Dampier," who also opened his and closed his entire Linton career on a single duck — Brian, one hopes, has rather more cricket ahead of him. Roy Clarke departed caught behind off Ian Lambert for his 8th career duck, and with 1959 barely a month old already sits proudly atop this year's Duck of the Year table — a crown he'll be defending all summer. He too draws level with Alan Wilkes on 8 apiece. Tony Snell rounded off the innings at number 11, bowled by Bryan Elswood for his 14th career duck from just 45 innings — form that earned him the Duck of the Year gong in 1958 and a place in the Ducks in a Row (4 consecutive) hall of infamy. He now stands shoulder to shoulder with Frank Sutton, twice Duck of the Year in the 1940s, who reached 14 in 62 innings. Sunday 3 May — Harrietsham CC (a) Tony Tipples was caught and bowled by C Stitchman for his 7th career duck. Neat historical footnote: on this very date back in 1953, club legend John Ames also trudged off for nought, against Hunton Wanderers CC. And then the headline act. John Thirkell, LBW to D Hampshire, notched his 41st career duck — and yes, that keeps him firmly at number 1 of 712 in the entire Linton Park record book. A three-time Duck of the Year (1952, 1954, 1955), permanent fixture of the Lone Duck, Homebody Duck and Ducks on the Road top tens, Thirkell remains the undisputed monarch of the zero club. Fittingly, he shares his duck's date with the very same John Ames who also fell on 3 May 1953. Week in brief Six ducks, two matches, the entire haul claimed by the 1st XI — the 2nd, 3rd and 4th escaped entirely unscathed this week, which either means discipline or simply that they weren't watching. Nobody managed the ignominy of a golden duck this time round — every one of our six at least troubled the bowler for a delivery or two before departing. Small mercies. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Brian Mills — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% 2. Tony Snell — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% 3. Tony Tipples — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% 4. Frank Brattle — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% 5. John Thirkell — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% Early days yet in the 1959 campaign, but the leaderboard is already crowded. Next fixture awaits — who fancies joining the club? 🦆🍩0️⃣