🦆 The Duck Pond

Recording the Ignominious — 1st August 1910 A single fixture at home to Maidstone Conservative Club CC furnished the Club with two further members processed onto its exclusive roll this week, both drawn, as chance would have it, from the ranks of the clergy. 1st XI — v Maidstone Conservative Club CC (home) - The Rev F A Leveson-Gower, coming in at four, was caught by W E H Hills off the bowling of W Betts, and returned to the pavilion no wiser for his visit to the crease. This stands as his first cipher of the season and the second of a career now numbering five-and-twenty innings, placing him 54th of 399 upon the Club's melancholy roll of honour. He finds companionable ground with B W Haynes (1891–1910, 19 innings), who also rests at exactly two career ducks and sits 33rd upon the same list — a fellowship of the nought spanning near twenty years. - The Rev J R Leigh, following at six, contrived to dismiss himself entirely unaided, being given out hit wicket to the bowling of W C Goodbody — a manner of departure requiring no assistance whatsoever from the opposition, and all the more to be remarked upon for it. This is his second duck of the present season and his third in a career of four-and-twenty innings, seating him 28th of 399 upon the all-time list. The Reverend gentleman is already inscribed upon the Duck of the Year 1910 board, an honour his labours this afternoon can only be thought to have further secured. He stands level with A Kent (1893, 5 innings), likewise a three-time member of the zero club, ranked 20th of 399. A Word on the Afternoon Two ducks from a single fixture, both falling to the 1st XI, and both, curiously, to men of the cloth — a coincidence the correspondent notes without further comment, save to observe that the willow appears no respecter of calling. Neither gentleman troubled the scorer, though the Reverend Leigh's method of self-dismissal shows an admirable independence of spirit. Duck Hunting Season — The Standings 1. Rev J R Leigh — 2 innings, 2 ducks (100%) 2. Tom Peach Jnr — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 3. A Eltham — 3 innings, 1 duck (33%) 4. F S W Cornwallis — 3 innings, 1 duck (33%) 5. Rev F A Leveson-Gower — 3 innings, 1 duck (33%) The Club awaits with quiet confidence the next fixture, trusting the willow shall furnish further candidates for these pages in due course.

A Chronicle of the Willow's Failures, Saturday the 16th of July, 1910 Upon a single afternoon's engagement with Maidstone CC, three of our number were obliged to make the short and melancholy journey back to the pavilion without troubling the scorer. The exclusive zero club welcomes its latest subscribers. 1st XI F S W Cornwallis, opening the innings, was bowled by J G Groves and departed for a cipher, his sixth such visitation in a career now numbering fifty nine innings, placing him 6th of 398 in the club's dubious annals. It is recorded, curiously, that on this very day in 1888 one L M Richards suffered an identical fate against The Mote CC. History, it seems, is fond of repeating its jokes. The Reverend J R Leigh, sent in at number six, likewise fell to the bowling of Mr Groves without score, his second duck of the season already claimed. He stands, for this season at least, as holder of the Duck of the Year 1910 honour, a title he appears determined to defend with some vigour, his career tally now standing at two ducks in three and twenty innings. His dismissal too fell upon the anniversary of Mr Richards's 1888 misfortune at the hands of The Mote. A Eltham, at number ten, was caught by A Brownscombe off the bowling of C H Ellis, his maiden duck in a short career of but six innings, placing him 58th of 398 upon the roll. He too may reflect that this same date in 1888 saw Mr Richards similarly dismissed for nought. The Week in Summary A single fixture yielded three surrenders to the timbers and the leather alike, the bowling of Mr Groves accounting for two of the three. A fine afternoon's work for Maidstone's attack, and a correspondingly lean one for our own. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Rev J R Leigh, 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% 2. Tom Peach Jnr, 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% 3. A Eltham, 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% 4. F S W Cornwallis, 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% The eleven take the field again ere long, and the Gazette awaits, with quiet confidence, that the honours board shall find fresh names to inscribe.

A modest week upon the roll of the exclusive zero club, with but a single gentleman required to make the long walk back for nought. Let the record show it properly. Midweek XI Mr Tom Peach Jnr, going in at number ten against the 1st Innings of Boxley CC away from home, was bowled by W L Reading and returned to the pavilion having troubled the scorer not at all, though he is credited with having faced his share of the bowling before the timbers went — no golden duck this, merely the ordinary and thoroughly respectable art of not scoring. It is his first duck of the present season, and the fifth of a career now numbering fourteen innings, which places him ninth upon the club's all-time roll of three hundred and ninety-seven names — a standing not lightly come by. Members will recall he remains a laureate of some distinction, having carried off the Duck of the Year honours as long ago as 1902, a garland that loses none of its lustre for having been won in another age. It may interest the eleven that upon this very date in 1907, Mr Ernest Cruttenden — second upon our all-time roll with ten ducks to his name, and himself Duck of the Year in 1895 — likewise failed to trouble the scorer, against Town Malling CC. History, it seems, is fond of an anniversary. The Week in Summary One match played, one duck recorded, and the Midweek XI may count themselves fortunate that the ducks did not multiply further upon foreign soil. A quiet week for the club's registrars, but a week is a week, and the ledger must be kept regardless of how thin the pickings. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Tom Peach Jnr — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100 per cent A leaderboard of but one name this week, Mr Peach standing entirely alone at its head, though whether this reflects distinction or simply an absence of competition, the correspondent leaves to the reader's judgement. The eleven return to the field presently, and the club's registrars stand ready, pencils sharpened, to record whatever further ciphers the coming fixture may yield. Members are reminded that the art of not scoring spares no one, however illustrious, and the honours board awaits new names with its usual patience.