🦆 The Duck Pond

A rare and troubling weekend for the Duck Club faithful: two fixtures played, two full days of honest endeavour from bat and ball, and not a single nought to show for it. 🏏 The dreaded quack proved elusive throughout — every batsman who walked to the crease this weekend contrived, infuriatingly, to get off the mark. Whether through good form, generous bowling, or a rare outbreak of competence up and down the order, the exclusive zero club gained no new inductees this period. Even our most reliable contributors to the art of not scoring were, this once, denied. Make no mistake — this is not cause for celebration in Duck Club circles. A blank weekend is simply 0 for 0, which even by our own standards is a disappointingly literal state of affairs. The committee notes this anomaly with concern and trusts it will be swiftly corrected. 0️⃣ Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 0️⃣ 1. Fred Cheesman — 6 ducks in 18 innings (33.33%) 2. Dave Charlton — 6 ducks in 28 innings (21.43%) 3. Piers McDonald — 5 ducks in 32 innings (15.63%) 4. Trevor Back — 4 ducks in 16 innings (25.0%) 5. Nick Stephens — 3 ducks in 14 innings (21.43%) Fred Cheesman continues to set the pace for Duck of the Year with a formidable 33% strike rate — genuine triumph through adversity, that. Dave Charlton snaps at his heels, while Trevor Back's 25% return from a mere 16 innings shows real efficiency in the art of not scoring, should he wish to close the gap. Rest assured, dear members, this drought is surely temporary. The season presses on, the fixtures keep coming, and somewhere out there a top edge, a leave-that-goes-astray, or a needless run-out is waiting to happen. Bats at the ready for next weekend — the ducks always come home to roost eventually. 🍩🦆

Three fixtures on the books this weekend, and the harvest was slim — a single duck fell, but a proper vintage one at that. The other two matches were entirely fowl-free, a vegan weekend by Linton's usual standards. 🏏 Saturday 14th — 1st XI v Southborough CC (home) Batting at seven, Piers McDonald did the honourable thing and got it over with quickly, caught Ray Grayland off the bowling of G Lanham for nought. It's his 5th duck of the 1991 season and the 11th of an increasingly storied career, lodging him at 64th of 1162 in the all-time roll of dishonour. Piers remains a fixture of both the Lone Duck top 10 and the Tourist Duck top 10 — proof that whether home or away, in company or entirely alone at the crease, the result has a habit of rhyming. Neat historical footnote: on this very day back in 1958, Stan Wratten also trudged off for a duck, against Tunbridge Wells CC no less. Stan played from 1943 to 1984, racked up 35 ducks in the process, sits 14th all-time, and shares a "Quacking Together" board entry with the legendary John Ames. Some things about September just aren't meant to be. 🌱 Elsewhere The remaining two fixtures across the weekend passed without a single nought troubling the scorers — a rare and slightly suspicious outbreak of competence across the rest of the club. Make the most of it, it won't last. 📊 Week in Summary One duck from three matches is a quiet weekend by Duck Club standards, but quality over quantity — Piers has now put himself squarely into this season's shake-up, sitting third in the current standings. The chase for Duck of the Year continues to tighten. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Fred Cheesman — 6 ducks / 18 inns (33.3%) - Dave Charlton — 6 ducks / 26 inns (23.1%) - Piers McDonald — 5 ducks / 31 inns (16.1%) - Trevor Back — 4 ducks / 15 inns (26.7%) - Nick Stephens — 3 ducks / 14 inns (21.4%) Fred and Dave lead the way, but with the season deep into September, there's still time for a late surge. Piers, in particular, will fancy his chances of adding to his tally before the covers go on for winter. Next fixture, fresh scorecards, fresh opportunities for immortality of the zero-run variety. The Duck Club never sleeps — see you all next weekend. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A quiet week in the field — four matches, and only two men prepared to walk the lonely walk back to the pavilion. But what the week lacked in volume, it made up for in quality, with two Duck Hunting Season leaders both adding to their tallies on the very same weekend. 🏏 1st XI — away at Sandwich Town CC (Saturday) Dave Charlton, in at five, was bowled by Colin Aldred without troubling the scorers — his 6th duck of the season and 11th for his LPCC career, moving him to a healthy 60th of 1162 in the all-time standings from 66 innings. A member of a duck-inclined household too — his sibling Sean Charlton carries 4 career ducks of his own, so the trait clearly runs in the blood. Neat bit of calendar symmetry here: on this very day back in 1977, none other than club legend Tim Thirkell also made a duck, against St Just CC, on his way to a career haul of 64 and a lofty 4th all-time — Duck of the Year 1972, Full House, the lot. Good company to keep, even in defeat. 🌙 Midweek XI — away at The Mote CC Fred Cheesman departed for nought at number two, caught Nigel Mullarkey bowled Paul Heynes — his 6th duck of the season and a serious 23rd for his career, sitting 33rd of 1162 all-time from 107 innings. Fred is a certified Full House member (a duck at every position, 1 through 11) and, crucially, this is a live entry in his back-to-back Duck of the Year defence — he took the crown in both 1990 and 1991, and this latest effort keeps the trophy cabinet warm. He's also flying the family flag, with Steve and Stuart Cheesman both fellow paid-up members of the noughts club. On this day in 1954, Len Conway was doing much the same thing against Old Roffensians on his way to 12 career ducks — proof there's nothing new under the sun, or indeed under a golden duck-free sky. 📊 Week in summary Just the two ducks from four matches, but a notable coincidence — Dave Charlton and Fred Cheesman are now locked together at the very top of the season standings on 6 apiece. The Duck of the Year race for 1991 could not be tighter, and with Fred defending the title, Dave will fancy his chances of an upset. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Fred Cheesman — 17 inns, 6 ducks (35.29%) - Dave Charlton — 24 inns, 6 ducks (25.0%) - Trevor Back — 14 inns, 4 ducks (28.57%) - Piers McDonald — 29 inns, 4 ducks (13.79%) - Nick Stephens — 14 inns, 3 ducks (21.43%) With the top two tied and the season drawing on, every innings from here counts double. Get down to the next fixture, take your seat, and watch history — or at least a nought — be made. 🦆🍩

A rare and troubling dispatch from the Duck Club this week: nothing to report. Four fixtures came and went across the period and not a single Linton batsman could be persuaded to walk back for nought. Eleven-a-side, four times over, and the zero column stayed stubbornly empty. Somewhere out on the county's outfields the ducks slipped the net entirely — every man got off the mark, groundsmen everywhere breathed a sigh of relief, and the honours board gathers dust for another week. Whether this represents a genuine improvement in technique or simply a conspiracy of good fortune, the Committee declines to speculate. Consistency of a very particular kind has, for once, deserted us. Spare a thought instead for the season's front-runners, who must be wondering how everyone else suddenly found the middle of the bat. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard — 1991 🥇🍩 1. Fred Cheesman — 5 ducks from 15 innings (33.33%) — the early pace-setter, and not one to relinquish top spot lightly 2. Dave Charlton — 5 ducks from 21 innings (23.81%) — level on tally, but needing a few more outings to catch Cheesman on rate 3. Trevor Back — 4 ducks from 13 innings (30.77%) — breathing down the leaders' necks with a fearsome strike rate of failure 4. Piers McDonald — 4 ducks from 27 innings (14.81%) — proof that quantity of innings is no protection against the inevitable 5. Nick Stephens — 3 ducks from 14 innings (21.43%) — the last name to make the cut, and surely not content to stay there A quiet week it may have been, but the season is far from settled — Cheesman and Charlton sit level at the summit, and with plenty of cricket still to come, 0️⃣ complacency is advised for anyone thinking their name is safe from the honours board. Normal service will surely resume next weekend. The ducks are out there somewhere — see you at the crease. 🏏🦆

Only three ducks fell to the hunters this week, but what they lacked in volume they made up for in pedigree — every single one arriving courtesy of the 1st XI, three different matches, three grand old names on the club's all-time charts. The exclusive zero club keeps its standards high. 1st XI Saturday 24th, home to Petts Wood CC — Paul Bowles opened the innings and closed it just as briskly, caught Howard bowled Chisholm without scoring. It's his first duck of the season but his 47th for the club from 769 innings, holding steady at 7th of 1,158 in the all-time standings — rarefied company for a man who's already banked two Duck of the Year titles (1966, 1968), a fixture of the Ducks on the Road top 10, and one half of Only Two Quacks with Adam Pooley. On this very day in 1968, Benny Bell was doing the same against Aylesford Paper Mills CC, one of the 30 that carried him to 19th on the all-time list across a 1966–75 career. Sunday 25th, home to Old Anchorians CC — Dave Charlton, batting at 7, bowled by R Smith for his 5th duck of the summer and 10th of his Linton career in just 61 innings, ranking 66th of 1,158. Consistency of a very particular kind runs in the family — sibling Sean Charlton carries 4 career ducks of his own. On this day in 1976, Brian Piper also trudged off for nought against Gravesend CC, one of 19 across a 1973–91 career. Monday 26th, home to Bearsted CC — Nigel Thirkell, at first drop, bowled Darren Wheeler, his 3rd duck of the season and 46th of his career from 753 innings, 8th of 1,158 all time. The name should ring a bell — father John Thirkell sits top of the entire club's all-time list with 90, brother Tim carries 64, brother Simon 24 and kinsman Stuart 1, making this Bearsted Green's most decorated duck dynasty. Nigel already holds a Duck of the Year (1986), places in both the Homebody Duck and Tourist Duck top 10s, and shares Only Two Quacks with Jim Hall. Fittingly, on this exact day in 1979, it was brother Tim's turn to fall — also against Old Anchorians CC, one of the 64 that keep him 4th on the all-time roll. Week in summary Six matches, three ducks, one team monopolising the lot — the 2nd, 3rd and 4th XIs and the Sunday sides all got off unscathed this week, which either means good batting or a quiet week for the umpires. Fitting, too, that Dave Charlton's fifth of the season lands him straight into the leaderboard picture below. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Fred Cheesman — 5 ducks, 15 innings, 33.33% 2. Dave Charlton — 5 ducks, 19 innings, 26.32% 3. Trevor Back — 4 ducks, 12 innings, 33.33% 4. Piers McDonald — 4 ducks, 26 innings, 15.38% 5. Nick Stephens — 3 ducks, 14 innings, 21.43% Fred Cheesman and Trevor Back tied at the sharpest strike rate in the club — triumph through adversity indeed. The season race is far from settled, and with the Thirkell name already in the frame, next week promises more material for the honours board. See you at the crease — or, more likely, straight back to the pavilion. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Five ducks paddled into the record book this week across four fixtures, and the honours boards creak a little further under the weight. Saturday, 1st XI at Whitstable CC Nigel Thirkell departed at first drop, caught T Pattenden bowled Andy Robertson, his 2nd duck of the season and 45th of a career that now sits 8th in the all-time list of 1157. The parallel is closer to home than the calendar suggests — on this very day in 1963, his own father John Thirkell, the club's all-time No.1 with 90 to his name, also made a duck, against The Mote CC. Very much the family trade. Nigel remains a fixture of the Homebody and Tourist Duck top tens, plus a shared Duck of the Year crown from 1986. Saturday, 2nd XI at Bethersden CC A grim one-two for the lower order. Debutant Davidson opened his senior account and closed it in the same breath, bowled N Ward for nought on his very first outing — instant and unwanted membership of the Debutante Duck club. Moments later Richard Piper followed him back, bowled J Thompson, his 2nd duck of the season and 2nd of a young career now seven innings old, rank 266 of 1157 and already a name on the Full House, Homebody and Lone Duck top tens. His father Brian carries 19 career ducks of his own, so the ledger runs in the family. Both dismissals echo this same date in 1969, when Percy Brattle made his own duck against Mote A. Wednesday, Midweek XI at Gravesend CC Paul Putland enjoyed himself no end, removing two Linton batsmen in a row for nought. Fred Cheesman went first, caught D Gurton, his 5th duck of the season, stretching his lead at the top of the current standings, and 22nd of a career that already ranks him 36th of 1157 all time. Fred banked Duck of the Year honours in 1990, and on this form looks a fair bet to add 1991 to the cabinet too. In came debutant D Bray next, caught Glen Giddings off the very next over, a duck on debut to make it two Putland victims in short order. Both falls echo this same date in 1955, when John Ames made his against Halfway House. Week in summary Five ducks, four matches, and two of them doubles in the same innings — Bethersden and Gravesend both shipped a pair of wickets without a run troubling the scorers. Two brand new members welcomed to the Debutante Duck club in the same week, which is either coincidence or a worrying sign for the selectors. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Fred Cheesman — 5 ducks / 14 inn (35.71%) - Trevor Back — 4 ducks / 12 inn (33.33%) - Dave Charlton — 4 ducks / 15 inn (26.67%) - Piers McDonald — 4 ducks / 24 inn (16.67%) - Nick Stephens — 3 ducks / 14 inn (21.43%) Fred tightens his grip on the crown, but there's a queue forming behind him. Same time next week — pads on, bats optional. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Four fixtures, eight surrendered wickets, and one father-son double that had the honours board reaching for a fresh page. The exclusive zero club welcomes its latest cohort. Saturday 10th — 1st XI v Headcorn CC (h) - Paul Gibson departed for nought at three, caught off Dave Harden — his 2nd of the season and 16th career duck, hauling him to 45th on the all-time list. He's already banked a Platinum Duck this season, and now draws level in career terms with David Castle (1982–1991) and, further back, Percy Brattle (1934–1973). On this very calendar day in 1958, Roy Clarke was doing exactly the same thing against Harrietsham CC. - Peter Whyte followed at five, caught behind off Simon Phipps — his 1st of the season, 10th of his career, 70th on the all-time roll. A chip off the old block too: sibling Tom Whyte carries 2 of his own. Also keeping Roy Clarke's 1958 vintage company. Saturday 10th — 2nd XI v Bearsted CC (a) - Simon Thirkell nicked off for his 1st season duck, 24th of a distinguished career (31st all-time), level with Dick Langridge. One of a genuine Thirkell dynasty of duckers — parent John (90!), siblings Tim (64) and Nigel (44) all in the club. Another member of the 1958 fan club. - Rob Doick made no friends with the bowler, bowled first ball for a proper golden duck — his 3rd of the season and career alike, at just 16 innings a rapid ascent up the rankings. - Nick Stephens battled 9 balls before falling, his 3rd of the season, 4th career. A paid-up member of the rare Quack-to-Quack club from his career bookends, still stacking noughts in the middle innings. Wednesday 14th — Midweek XI v Lashings World CC (a) - Fred Cheesman and Trevor Back fell in successive balls, both caught behind off D Howson — Fred to his 4th of the season (21st career, reigning Duck of the Year for 1991, and a Full House honouree having ducked at every position 1 through 11), Trevor to his own 4th of the season (34th career, 16th all-time). Both echo Simon Thirkell's duck on this day back in 1988 against Whitstable CC. - Steve Cheesman soon joined them, bowled by G Osbourne for his 2nd of the season, 6th career. 🦆 A family affair — Fred and Steve Cheesman falling in the same innings makes this week's rarest ceremony: a Duck and Ducklings entry on the honours board, parent and child both back in the hutch. Somewhere Stuart Cheesman, sibling to Steve and 1 career duck himself, will be feeling left out. Week in summary: 8 ducks across 4 matches, headlined by Rob Doick's golden effort and the Cheesman family double. Lashings World CC alone accounted for three victims in one innings — a fine bowling attack, or a very generous batting order. 🏏 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Trevor Back — 4 ducks, 11 innings, 36.36% 2. Fred Cheesman — 4 ducks, 12 innings, 33.33% 3. Dave Charlton — 4 ducks, 15 innings, 26.67% 4. Piers McDonald — 4 ducks, 23 innings, 17.39% 5. Nick Stephens — 3 ducks, 14 innings, 21.43% Four names locked on four apiece — the race for Duck of the Year is wide open. Next fixture awaits its fresh conscripts. 🍩0️⃣🦆

Three fixtures went into the book this week and, remarkably, the zero club processed only a single application. Slim pickings for the ledger — but the one name on it arrived with proper pedigree. Saturday & the quiet fixtures Two of the week's three matches passed without a single soul troubling the Duck Club's admissions desk. The art of not scoring, it seems, took the week off. Midweek XI — v Bexley CC Not so for Trevor Back, whose 7 August outing ended tidily — caught John Trice, bowled Mike Dixon — for nought. It's his 3rd duck of the 1991 season and 33rd of an illustrious career spanning 257 innings, good enough for 17th on the all-time list of 1,155. A proper stalwart of the dubious arts, Trevor is a fixture on the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top 10s, and holds standing honours in Only Two Quacks (with Allan Cooper) and Quacking Together (with Jon Harris) — a man who has made a home, quite literally, everywhere on the honours board. Splendidly, on this very day in 1976, Colin Dicker — 1972 to 1978, two-time Duck of the Year in '73 and '75 — was himself walking back against Headcorn CC. Some anniversaries mark weddings and birthdays. This one marks a golden thread of communal failure, fifteen years apart, same calendar square. Week in summary One duck from three matches is a lean harvest by Duck Club standards — perhaps the bowlers were feeling generous, or perhaps everyone else simply remembered which end the bat goes. Either way, Trevor carries the flag alone this week, and carries it well. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Dave Charlton — 4 ducks, 14 innings (28.57%) - Piers McDonald — 4 ducks, 21 innings (19.05%) - Trevor Back — 3 ducks, 9 innings (33.33%) - Fred Cheesman — 3 ducks, 11 innings (27.27%) - Nick Stephens — 2 ducks, 13 innings (15.38%) Trevor's strike rate for nought now sits at a startling 33%, keeping him within touching distance of the summit — one more soft dismissal and he could yet trouble Dave Charlton for top billing. A quiet week for the fowl, but the season is far from settled. Next fixture, someone's number will surely be up — 🍩 the zero club never sleeps for long. See you at the crease. 0️⃣🏏🦆

Three matches, three ducks, and the 1st XI cornering the market entirely this week while the 2nd and 3rd XIs kept their heads down and their bats occupied. The exclusive zero club welcomes two fresh golden entries and one gutsy three-ball resistance that still ended in the usual ignominy. Saturday 27th — Hollingbourne CC (away) Dave Charlton opened his account for the weekend in the worst possible way, caught D Crouch bowled Alan Ovenden without troubling the scorers — a first-ball special. It's his 4th duck of the season and 9th for his career, moving him to 74th of 1154 in the all-time roll of dishonour from 55 innings. A chip off the old block too — brother Sean Charlton carries 4 career ducks of his own, so the Charlton household knows the walk back well. On this very day back in 1952, Basil Sears (1947–1975, 33 ducks, 16th all-time) was making an identical journey against Folkestone CC. Some things never change. Sunday 28th — The Mote CC (away) Opening the batting is meant to be an honour. For Paul Gibson it lasted one ball — caught D Thomas bowled Paul Heynes, golden duck, first ball of the game. Fittingly this triggers his Platinum Duck honour for 1991, awarded specifically for the crime of being out first ball of the match itself — a rare and dubious double celebration. His 1st of the season, 15th of his career, and he now sits 48th of 1154 from a hefty 224 innings. On this day in 1957, D- Jordan was doing much the same against Folkestone CC. Not to be left out, Steve Cheesman followed him back not long after, caught N Wright bowled D Thomas after a defiant 3 balls of resistance — respectable by the standards of the day, but a duck is a duck. His 1st of the season and 5th career, 123rd of 1154 from just 26 innings. Steve keeps it in the family too — father Fred Cheesman carries 20 career ducks and currently sits 3rd in this very season's leaderboard below, while brother Stuart has 1 to his name. Also on this day in 1957, D- Jordan was out again against Folkestone CC — evidently a popular date for poultry. Week in summary Three ducks from three matches, two of them golden, and the 1st XI monopolising the entire haul while the 2nd and 3rd XIs escaped unscathed. The Mote CC alone claimed two victims in a single innings — a fine afternoon's work for their bowlers, a grim one for ours. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏆 1. Dave Charlton — 13 innings, 4 ducks (30.77%) 2. Piers McDonald — 20 innings, 4 ducks (20.00%) 3. Fred Cheesman — 11 innings, 3 ducks (27.27%) 4. Trevor Back — 8 innings, 2 ducks (25.00%) 5. Nick Stephens — 13 innings, 2 ducks (15.38%) Charlton's early-season golden duck keeps him top of the pile, but with a full season still ahead there's plenty of time for the chasing pack to close in. 🦆 Next fixture looms — who fancies joining the club? 0️⃣🏏

A quiet weekend on the nought front, but the exclusive zero club still found its man. 🏏 Sunday 21st July — 2nd XI v Tonbridge Onward Coming in at six, Rob Doick departed lbw to N Barratt without so much as a squeak off the bat, his second duck of the season and, by pleasing coincidence, his second in an LPCC career now spanning just 12 innings. A rapid education in the art of not scoring. Rob edges up to 265th of 1154 in the all-time standings — still a long climb to the summit, but the zero club welcomes all comers. Fittingly, on this very date back in 1980, Martin Thompson also trudged back for nought, against West Farleigh CC — some anniversaries only this club bothers to keep. 📅 Week in Summary Three fixtures across the weekend, and cricket's less celebrated honours board recorded just the one entry. Saturday's games and the rest of Sunday's passed off entirely duck-free — bat triumphant, ball unrewarded, the Duck Club left largely twiddling its thumbs. Restraint, or simply a shortage of willing victims? Either way, a rare weekend of near-total abstinence. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season 1991 — Leaderboard - Piers McDonald — 4 ducks in 18 innings (22.22%) - Dave Charlton — 3 ducks in 11 innings (27.27%) - Fred Cheesman — 3 ducks in 11 innings (27.27%) - Trevor Back — 2 ducks in 7 innings (28.57%) - Rob Doick — 2 ducks in 12 innings (16.67%) Piers McDonald holds a narrow but nervy lead at the top, with Dave Charlton and Fred Cheesman breathing down his neck on identical rates. Trevor Back's 28.57% strike rate is the most alarming figure in the table, and this weekend's man of the moment, Rob Doick, sneaks in at the foot of the top five — one more nought and he'll be troubling the podium. 🍩 Next fixture, more victims wanted. The Duck Club never sleeps — get out there and give the scorers something dreadful to write down. 🦆0️⃣

Only three matches in the book this week, and the Duck Club had to graft for its harvest — just two additions to the ledger. Quality over quantity, as ever in this most select of societies. 1st XI v Folkestone CC (14 July, home) - Trevor Back, batting at 4, was caught by Andy Allon off Andy Bourne for his 2nd duck of the season and the 32nd of an increasingly ornamental career — good enough for 17th on the all-time chart of 1153. Trevor is a fixture of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, and runs two separate double acts on the honours board — "Only Two Quacks" with Allan Cooper and "Quacking Together" with Jon Harris. On this day in 1956, A Hughes also fell for nought, against A.Trembeths — the solitary entry on Hughes's card, and a Debutante Duck to boot. 2nd XI v Horton Kirby CC (13 July, away) - Dave Charlton edged behind, c M Howard b I Wise, for his 3rd duck of the campaign and 8th in a 51-innings career, landing him 82nd on the all-time list. His sibling Sean Charlton is no stranger to the art of not scoring either, sitting on 4 career ducks of his own — clearly a talent that runs in the blood, even if not shared this week. On this day in 1968, club legend Paul Bowles made a duck of his own against Beverley CC, Kent — one of 46 on the way to Duck of the Year honours in both 1966 and 1968, and 7th in the all-time standings. Week in summary Two ducks from three games is a quiet one by Duck Club standards — no pairs, no family affairs, nobody troubling the King Pair throne. Consistency of a very particular kind, just not much of it this time round. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Piers McDonald — 4 ducks from 17 innings (23.5%) 2. Dave Charlton — 3 from 9 (33.3%) 3. Fred Cheesman — 3 from 9 (33.3%) 4. Trevor Back — 2 from 6 (33.3%) 5. Tim Thirkell — 2 from 11 (18.2%) Dave Charlton's latest effort keeps him locked in 2nd — the exclusive zero club never rests, even in a slow week. Roll on the next fixture, when the sacred art of not scoring is sure to claim a few more willing volunteers. 🏏0️⃣🦆

Eight ducks across three fixtures this week, proof the 1991 vintage is maturing nicely. Saturday 6 July — Staplehurst CC (away), 2nds - Opening the innings and the indignity, Stewart Morrison c Robinson b Chapman for nought, his 1st duck of the season and 7th career (93rd of 1,153 all time). A paid-up Debutante Duck man, and cruelly stuck as a Full House nearly-man with 10 of 11 positions covered. On this day in 1968, Paul Bowles was doing exactly the same against Charles Arkcoll. - A Jesshope's very first senior innings ends at nought, b Linford — instant, involuntary membership of the Debutante Duck club and this year's freshly opened One and Done ledger. - No.11 Richard Piper b Robinson for his maiden career duck from just 4 innings — parent Brian Piper isn't far behind on the family scoresheet, with 19 of his own. Sunday 7 July — Hollingbourne CC (home), 1sts - Dave Charlton b Scrivens, his 2nd duck of the season and 7th career (95th all time) — sibling Sean keeps it in the family with 4 of his own. On this day in 1979, Paul Brattle made a duck against Medway Valley. - Nick Stephens lbw b Latter, his 2nd of the season and 3rd career from a mere 13 innings — a long-standing Debutante Duck and Quack-to-Quack club member. Wednesday 10 July — Gravesend CC (home), Midweek L Morley-Clark helped himself to three Linton wickets, all for nought. - Stewart Morrison completes a grim pair for the week, bowled again — 2nd duck of the season, 8th career. - Trevor Back joins him, bowled for nought — only his 1st of the season but 31st career, good for 18th on the all-time list and a fixture of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody and Lone Duck top tens. - Jim Hall, also bowled, notches his 70th career duck — 2nd on the all-time honours board of 1,153, a three-time Duck of the Year, and owner of more Quacking Together pairings than most have Sunday teas. All three share good company from 1954: Robert Muir made his against A.Trembeths on this very day. A tidy week's harvest, and L Morley-Clark surely deserves honorary Duck Club membership of his own. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Piers McDonald — 4 ducks, 15 inns (27%) - Fred Cheesman — 3 ducks, 8 inns (38%) - Dave Charlton — 2 ducks, 6 inns (33%) - Stewart Morrison — 2 ducks, 10 inns (20%) - Tim Thirkell — 2 ducks, 10 inns (20%) Next fixture awaits — the ducks never stop hunting. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Just the one XI troubled the scorers this week, but what the 1st XI lacked in volume against West Farleigh CC, they made up for in ceremony. 1st XI v West Farleigh CC (home) Dave Charlton, holding it together at number 5, faced three deliveries before being bowled by Paul Webster — enough balls to build a bit of false confidence, not enough to trouble the scorebook. It's his 1st duck of the season and 6th for his LPCC career in 47 innings, keeping him handily placed at 101st of 1149 in the all-time roll of dishonour. A chip off the old block, too — sibling Sean Charlton already carries 4 career noughts of his own, so the family name is well represented in the club's exclusive zero club. On this very day back in 1935, Percy Brattle (1934–1973) was doing much the same thing against Bearsted CC, on his way to 16 career ducks and a spot 45th on the all-time list plus a Duck of the Year gong in 1969 — good company to keep, 56 years apart. Down at number 10, A Stevens produced rather more drama for rather less effort — run out without so much as facing a delivery. A debut innings, and what a debut: nought on the board and an instant double induction into the honours boards, claiming both the Debutante Duck (duck on debut) and the 1991 Diamond Duck (out without facing a ball) in a single, glorious non-event. It doesn't get much purer than arriving, not receiving, and departing. Fittingly, A Stevens shares today's calendar date with Percy Brattle's 1935 effort too — the ghosts of Bearsted CC clearly approve of a good June duck. Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks, both from the same fixture — a tidy, if modest, harvest. Nine wickets managed to avoid the ignominy; two did not. Consistency of a very particular kind continues to define the art of not scoring at Linton Park. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Piers McDonald — 14 innings, 4 ducks (28.57%) - Fred Cheesman — 7 innings, 3 ducks (42.86%) - Tim Thirkell — 8 innings, 2 ducks (25.00%) - A Stevens — 1 innings, 1 duck (100.00%) - Martin Larkin — 1 innings, 1 duck (100.00%) Fred Cheesman lurks ominously on a 42.86% strike rate, and A Stevens has arrived at the top table with the most emphatic possible statement of intent. Next weekend's fixtures await — bring your bats, gentlemen, the Duck Club is always recruiting. 🦆

Three fixtures on the go this week, but the ducks proved elusive nearly everywhere — only the Midweek XI's midweek trip managed to tempt any batsmen into the exclusive zero club. Consistency of a very particular kind, confined to a single ground. Midweek XI v Sevenoaks & District Wednesday CC (home, 19 June) Fred Cheesman opened up and opened his account with nothing at all — c Angus b Brunt, gone for a duck at No.1. It's his 3rd of the season and 20th for the club from 97 innings, good enough for 38th of 1148 in the all-time reckoning. Fred's honours board is getting crowded — Duck of the Year in both 1990 and 1991, a Full House (a duck at every position 1 to 11, triumph through adversity indeed), and eternally paired with Adam Pooley in the Only Two Quacks club. Neatly, on this very day back in 1955 Richard Harris (1940–1982) was also trudging off for nought, against 1st Innings Hambros Bank — the calendar has a long memory. Worth noting too that the Cheesman name is becoming a duck-taking dynasty, with Steve (4) and Stuart (1) already on the family ledger. Not to be left out, Tim Thirkell followed him back shortly after — bowled Brunt, first drop, first nought. His 2nd of the season and a remarkable 64th career duck from 550 innings, keeping him at a rarefied 4th of 1148 all-time. Tim's cabinet is stacked: Duck of the Year 1972, a Full House, and top-ten residency in Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck, plus Quacking Together honours with Jim Hall. And by pleasing coincidence, he shares today's anniversary duck with Fred — Richard Harris was making the very same walk back in 1955. The art of not scoring clearly runs in the blood at Linton, and doubly so for the Thirkells — father John tops the all-time table outright on 90, with siblings Nigel (44), Simon (23) and Stuart (1) filling out one of the club's great duck-taking families. Week in summary Just the two ducks from three matches — the 1st and 3rd XIs kept their noses disappointingly clean, leaving the Wednesday fixture to do all the club's dirty work, both victims falling to the same bowler within moments of each other. A quiet week for the harvest, but quality over quantity. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 - Piers McDonald — 4 ducks, 13 innings (30.8%) - Fred Cheesman — 3 ducks, 7 innings (42.9%) - Tim Thirkell — 2 ducks, 7 innings (28.6%) - Martin Larkin — 1 duck, 1 innings (100%) - Paul Brattle — 1 duck, 1 innings (100%) Piers holds the lead for now, but with Fred's rate climbing fast the race for 1991's crown is far from settled. Next fixture, more willow, more nought — the Duck Club never sleeps. 🏏🍩

A tidy afternoon's harvest against Rumwood CC this weekend, where the 1st XI contributed three names to the ledger while the rest of the club, mercifully, kept the collection plate empty. 1st XI v Rumwood CC (home) Piers McDonald walked in at three and departed bowled by Ian Grognet without troubling the scorers — his 4th duck of the season and 10th of his career, moving him to 70th of 1146 in the all-time standings. A fixture of both the Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top tens, Piers continues to prove that dismissal, like batting, is a skill best practised regularly. Curiously, on this very day in 1970, one Ron Hickman (1963–1981) was also making a duck — his 30th of an eventual 30 — against Boughton Monchelsea CC. The calendar, it seems, has a long memory. At six, Matt Large fell to Terry Franks for his 1st duck of the season and 29th of an extraordinary career, sliding into 23rd on the all-time chart. A three-time Duck of the Year (1987, 1988 and 1989), a Full House nearly-man on 10 of 11 possible batting positions, and a stalwart of both the Ducks on the Road and Homebody Duck top tens, Matt remains club royalty in this particular discipline. He too shares his duck-date with Ron Hickman's 1970 vintage — kindred spirits, twenty-one years and a great many noughts apart. Nick Stephens, in at eight, was caught by Darren Brame off G Hoile for his 1st duck of the season and 2nd of his career from just 10 innings, ranking 252nd of 1146. Nick already holds a seat on the exclusive Quack-to-Quack honours board — reserved for those who duck on both debut and farewell — and the Retirement Duck board besides, standing honours from history rather than any suggestion today's innings was a last hurrah. And yes, Ron Hickman was busy again in 1970 too — the ghost of Boughton Monchelsea seems rather fond of the 8th of June. The club's other fixture this weekend passed off entirely duck-free — a rare vegan affair, and no bad thing for the collective average. Week in summary: three ducks from two matches, all bowled or caught, none golden, and all three sharing an uncanny appointment with a duck struck twenty-one years earlier to the day. The zero club welcomes its newest entries with the usual solemn ceremony. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Piers McDonald — 4 ducks, 12 innings (33%) 2. Fred Cheesman — 2 ducks, 6 innings (33%) 3. Martin Larkin — 1 duck, 1 innings (100%) 4. Paul Brattle — 1 duck, 1 innings (100%) 5. Tom Whyte — 1 duck, 2 innings (50%) Piers holds a narrow lead at the top, but with Martin Larkin and Paul Brattle both boasting a flawless 100% record from limited outings, the race for Duck of the Year is far from settled. Next weekend's fixtures await — bring your bat, and bring your sense of humour. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Five matches out on the paddock this week and, remarkably, the ducks mostly stayed hidden. Just the one addition to the ledger — but it's a good one, so pull up a chair. 2nd XI Away at Milstead CC, Fred Cheesman departed for nought at number 7, c Ken West b T Lunt. It's Fred's 2nd duck of the season and the 19th of a genuinely storied Linton Park career — 95 innings deep and sitting proudly at 39th in the all-time charts (39 of 1146). The honours board reads like a small trophy cabinet: Duck of the Year in both 1990 and 1991 (a title he's very much defending as we speak), a Full House member with a duck at every position 1 through 11, a fixture in the Tourist Duck top 10, and one half of the exclusive "Only Two Quacks" club alongside Adam Pooley. It rather runs in the family too — Steve Cheesman (4 career ducks) and Stuart Cheesman (1) keep the surname well represented on the books. Neatly, on this very day in 1903 — eighty-eight years to the week — Rev W A Carr also walked back for a duck against 1st Innings Maidstone CC. Some traditions at this club simply refuse to die. Week in Summary One duck from five fixtures is a distinctly lean return by Duck Club standards — the sort of week that makes the batting averages look respectable and gives the correspondent very little to work with. Fred Cheesman single-handedly kept the flag flying. The rest of the club, disgracefully, got off the mark. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 Piers McDonald — 11 innings, 3 ducks (27.3%) 🥈 Fred Cheesman — 5 innings, 2 ducks (40.0%) Martin Larkin — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) Paul Brattle — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) Tom Whyte — 2 innings, 1 duck (50.0%) A quiet week is only ever a lull. The season's still young, Piers leads but Fred's breathing down his neck at a rate of knots, and there's plenty of cricket left for the rest of the club to make their case. See you all at the next fixture — the ducks are surely just regrouping. 🦆🏏

A modest but perfectly formed harvest this week: four ducks from six fixtures, proof that the art of not scoring never quite goes out of season. Saturday 25th — Ditton CC (home) The 2nd XI ran into a bowler with pond-stocking intentions. X Emery claimed two Linton wickets without addition: Fred Cheesman, caught off him for his 1st duck of the summer and 18th of a thoroughly decorated career, and Rob Doick, bowled next ball for his very first LPCC duck. Fred's effort lifts him to 18 career ducks, 40th on the all-time list, and he remains proudly resident on the Duck of the Year boards for both 1990 and 1991, plus the rare Full House (a duck at every position) and Only Two Quacks with Adam Pooley. Two more Cheesmans lurk in the kin ledger — a parent-child pairing on 4 and 1 career ducks respectively, so the nought clearly runs in the family. Rob Doick opens his account with a single duck from just 5 innings, a modest 484th of 1146 — everyone has to start the collection somewhere. Both he and Fred keep company with Frank Brattle, who fell on this very day back in 1970 against Bearsted CC on his way to 38. Sunday 26th — Benenden CC Piers McDonald departed at the top of the order, bowled by Nigel Phelps without scoring — his 3rd duck of the season and 9th of his career, good for 79th all-time and membership of both the Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top 10s. On this very day in 1957, Cliff Anscombe was doing much the same against Ron Aiston's XI, on his way to a Duck of the Year gong and 25 for his career. The pond remembers, Piers. Wednesday 29th — Midweek XI v Burghill & Tillington CC The Brattle name struck again, Paul this time, bowled by D Sparrow for his 1st duck of the season and 26th of his career, edging him to 27th all-time. A paid-up Debutante Duck club member from his own first innings years ago, Paul comes from proper Duck Club stock — parent-child kin Frank on 38, sibling Ian on 21, relative Percy on 16. The Brattles could field an entire XI on noughts alone. On this day in 1972, Nigel Thirkell was similarly dismissed against Bearsted CC en route to 44. Week in summary: four ducks, six matches, and Ditton's X Emery doing more damage with the ball than most manage in a season. No pairs, no family doubles this week — the honours board can rest easy until next time. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Piers McDonald — 10 inns, 3 ducks (30%) 2. Martin Larkin — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) 3. Paul Brattle — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) 4. Tom Whyte — 2 inns, 1 duck (50%) 5. Brian Piper — 4 inns, 1 duck (25%) Next fixtures loom, and with them fresh candidates for the exclusive zero club. Bring your bats, gentlemen — or don't, we're not fussy. 🦆🍩

Five ducks landed in the Linton book this week, the 1st XI doing the bulk of the harvesting and the 2nd XI chipping in for good measure. Saturday 18 May 2nd XI away to Borden CC Brian Piper opened the batting and the innings both at once, back to the pavilion via c Paul Barnard b Martin Clout without troubling the scorers. It's his first duck of the summer and 19th of an illustrious career, sliding him to 38th of 1146 in the all-time table - and on this day in 1957, William Blight (1953-1959) was doing exactly the same thing against Gore Court CC, one of an eventual 10. A chip off an unlucky block too - sibling David Piper carries 7 career noughts of his own, so ducking is evidently a Piper family pastime. Tuesday 21 May 1st XI v Leybourne CC (home) - a vintage afternoon for the exclusive zero club, with three names added inside one innings. David Castle set the tone at four, run out for his first duck of the season and 16th of his career - 44th of 1146 all time, and a fixture of the Tourist Duck top ten. Nigel Thirkell followed at five, caught Chris Jones bowled E Harris, his first duck of the season but a monumental 44th career effort - 8th of 1146 all time, a former Duck of the Year (1986), a longstanding member of the Homebody and Tourist Duck top tens, and one half of Only Two Quacks alongside club legend Jim Hall. With parent John Thirkell sitting on 90 career ducks and brothers Tim (63) and Simon (23) also paid-up members, the surname is doing some heavy lifting on the honours board. Martin Larkin completed the hat-trick of humiliation, stumped for his first duck of the season and 12th career - 56th of 1146 all time, and already a name on the Retirement Duck board from a previous farewell. All three shared more than a scorecard line: on this day in 1956, John --'s Taylor was doing precisely the same at Marden CC, Kent, on his way to 15 across a career running 1949-1963. Thursday 23 May 1st XI away to Maidstone Invicta CC Piers McDonald was bowled by V White for his second duck of the season already - taking his career tally to 8 (88th of 1146) and cementing his place in both the Lone Duck and Tourist Duck top tens. On this day in 1959, Basil Sears made a duck of his own against Gore Court CC, one of 33 across a career running 1947-1975. Week in summary Five ducks from five matches, three of them arriving in a single Leybourne innings - proof, if it were needed, that the art of not scoring is a team sport. Piers McDonald's early brace already has him out in front for the season. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Piers McDonald - 6 innings, 2 ducks (33%) - Martin Larkin - 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Tom Whyte - 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) - Brian Piper - 3 innings, 1 duck (33%) - Tim Thirkell - 4 innings, 1 duck (25%) The season is young and the zero club never sleeps. Bring on the next fixture - someone's overdue a fresh entry on the honours board. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Three fixtures on the board this weekend and the Duck Club kept things suitably restrained — just the two additions to the ledger, both from the 1st XI's trip to Rumwood. The art of not scoring remains alive and well. Saturday 11 May — 1st XI away at Rumwood CC Tim Thirkell fell early at number six, bowled G Hoile, for his 1st duck of the season and 63rd of an extraordinary career — good enough for 4th on the all-time list of 1144. Tim barely needs introducing to this column: Duck of the Year 1972, a place in the Full House club (a duck at every position, 1 to 11), and fixtures in the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, plus a shared entry in Quacking Together alongside Jim Hall. It rather runs in the blood too — kin John, Nigel, Simon and Stuart Thirkell carry a combined 157 career ducks between them, so this was less an isolated failure and more a family tradition upheld. Neatly enough, on this very day back in 1969, club great John Ames also strolled back for nought against Gore Court CC — the calendar has a long memory. Tom Whyte joined him in ignominy, run out for his 1st duck of the season — and, remarkably, his 2nd in just 2 senior innings, a 100% strike rate in the wrong column. Tom is already a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, having ducked on his actual debut some time ago, so this was merely confirmation of good early form rather than a fresh arrival. His sibling Peter isn't far behind either, sitting on 9 career ducks of his own. And by pleasing coincidence, Tom shares his parallel with Tim this week — that same John Ames duck against Gore Court CC, 1969, on this very day. Sunday 12 May The remaining two fixtures passed off without incident for the Duck Club — a rare and slightly suspicious afternoon of application all round. Week in summary Two ducks from three matches, both courtesy of the 1st XI's away day at Rumwood — number six and number ten doing their bit for the cause while the rest of the order kept its head down. Consistency of a very particular kind. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Tom Whyte — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) - Tim Thirkell — 1 duck from 2 innings (50%) - Piers McDonald — 1 duck from 4 innings (25%) Early days yet in the 1991 campaign, but Tom Whyte sets a fearsome early pace. Plenty of cricket left for others to make a late run at him — see you all at the next fixture, where the exclusive zero club always has room for new members.

A single fixture on the books this week, and — brace yourselves — not a single duck to show for it. Eleven Linton batsmen walked out, and eleven Linton batsmen troubled the scorers, however modestly. The zero club, so often the busiest office at the club, sat entirely idle. It happens. Even the most dedicated huntsman occasionally comes home with an empty bag, and 6th May 1991 will be remembered — if it is remembered at all — as a day when the art of not scoring was, temporarily, out of fashion. Do not mistake this for good news. A quiet week for the Duck Club is not evidence of improving technique across the club — it is simply the ducks lying low, biding their time, waiting for a soft returning crease and a badly-set field. They always come back. They are, after all, a very patient species. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Piers McDonald — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) An early season, and an early leader — Piers sits alone atop the standings having converted precisely half his visits to the crease into a procession back to the pavilion. A 50% strike rate that would embarrass him with the bat and delight him everywhere else. Whether he can be caught — or rather, whether anyone else can catch him up — remains the only genuine talking point from an otherwise blank week. With just one name on the board, there is ample room for new arrivals. History shows the exclusive zero club never stays this exclusive for long — somewhere out there this season, a nervous nick, a leave that wasn't, or a fatal mix-up in the middle is already being drafted. Roll on the next fixture. The ducks are out there, and they are hungry. 🍩0️⃣🏏

The 1991 season is up and running, and it took Linton Park barely two matches to remember what the Duck Club is all about. One duck recorded across the weekend's two fixtures — modest by the club's own gluttonous standards, but a duck is a duck, and this one came with a rather pleasing echo down the years. 🏏 Saturday 27th April — 1st XI vs Penshurst Park CC (Home) In at first drop, Piers McDonald departed cheaply, bowled by J Harley — his first duck of the 1991 season and the 7th of his Linton career from 85 innings. That's good enough for 96th on the all-time list of 1142, a spot he holds as a paid-up member of both the Lone Duck top 10 and the Tourist Duck top 10 — proof that whether the fixture's home or away, Piers has never let geography get in the way of a good nought. And the coincidence of the day: on this very date in 1985, Paul Bowles also made a duck against Penshurst Park CC — same opposition, six years apart almost to the day. Bowles racked up 46 career ducks, 7th all-time from a career spanning 1965–1991, a two-time Duck of the Year (1966, 1968) and a fixture on the Ducks on the Road top 10. Penshurst Park, it seems, has form for these things. 🌱 Sunday 28th April The second fixture of the weekend passed off entirely duck-free — every Linton bat found something, however small, to show for their efforts. Enjoy it while it lasts. 📊 Week in Summary Two matches, one duck, and an early marker laid down for the 1991 Duck of the Year race. Piers McDonald leads the way — for now, with nobody else even at the crease to challenge him. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 - Piers McDonald — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) Slim pickings so far, but the season is young and the Duck Club's net is wide. Next fixture, same invitation as ever: middle stump, first ball, and a place in history awaits. 🦆🍩