🦆 The Duck Pond

A quiet weekend for the exclusive zero club, but two names still queued up patiently for their certificate of dubious distinction. 1st XI v West Farleigh CC Opening the innings and opening the account for nought, Frank Brattle departed c Trevor Fermor b Ron Kemp — his 1st duck of the season and 32nd of a long and storied career, good enough for 7th on the all-time list of 837. On this very day back in 1958, Stan Wratten (1943–1968, 28 career ducks, a paid-up member of the Quacking Together honours board) also strolled back for nought against Tilling Steven — Frank keeps fine historical company. A nod too to the bloodline: kinsman Percy Brattle carries 8 career ducks of his own, so the art of not scoring evidently runs in the family. Batting at 10 and clearly saving the best for last, Derry Evans fell c Micky Back b Reg Oldfield for his 1st duck of the season, his 5th career nought from 25 innings, sitting 67th of 837 all-time. And remarkably, on this very same date in 1958, Stan Wratten was already writing exactly this chapter of duck history — some calendar dates simply attract the golden thread of failure. Week in Summary Just the one fixture, just the two ducks — a modest haul by Linton's usual standards, but every nought still swells the greater ledger. West Farleigh CC may consider themselves honorary co-conspirators in this week's proceedings. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Paul Bowles — 7 ducks / 33 inns (21%) - Benny Bell — 5 ducks / 12 inns (42%) - Gordon Fenner — 4 ducks / 9 inns (44%) - Terry Whittaker — 4 ducks / 29 inns (14%) - Louis Buels — 3 ducks / 4 inns (75%) Special mention to Louis Buels, whose 75% duck rate remains a masterclass in triumph through adversity — three innings out of every four ending in the long walk back. 🏏 Fixtures continue apace — who'll be adding their name to the honours board next time out? We watch. We wait. We celebrate. 0️⃣🦆

A single fixture out on the park this week, and for once the exclusive zero club had absolutely nothing to show for its trouble. Not one nought. Not so much as a golden glint of a first-baller. Eleven men went to the crease, presumably, and eleven men are reported to have troubled the scorer in some fashion. 🍩 A Quiet Week for the Quackers It happens. Even the most dedicated hunter has an off day, and this week the ducks evaded capture entirely — scattering into the reeds the moment bat met ball. Somewhere, the honours board breathes a small sigh of relief. The rest of us are left twiddling our thumbs, scanning the scorecards for a nought that simply isn't there. Let it be known this is not cause for celebration in the traditional sense. The art of not scoring is a proud Linton tradition and one match without a single contribution to it is, frankly, a wasted opportunity. We expect better application next time out. 🏏 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Paul Bowles — 32 innings, 7 ducks, 21.88% - Benny Bell — 12 innings, 5 ducks, 41.67% - Gordon Fenner — 9 innings, 4 ducks, 44.44% - Terry Whittaker — 28 innings, 4 ducks, 14.29% - Louis Buels — 4 innings, 3 ducks, 75.00% 0️⃣ Louis Buels continues to set the pace on sheer percentage alone, a rate that suggests either extraordinary misfortune or a genuine gift for the craft. Meanwhile Paul Bowles holds the outright lead on raw tally and will not thank anyone for a quiet week interrupting his rhythm. 🥇 Onwards The season presses on, and with it the certainty that somewhere out there a duck is simply biding its time. Get out to the next fixture, take guard, and do your bit for the club's oldest and most dubious tradition. The zero club never sleeps for long. 🦆

A double dose of Trembeth and Anchorian trouble left the exclusive zero club five members richer this weekend, every single one of them from the 1st XI. Consistency of a very particular kind. Saturday 7th — v A. Trembeths (h) - Basil Sears opened and departed just as promptly, c L. Fell b J. Mortlock. His 3rd duck of the season and 25th of a mighty 350-innings career, good enough for 11th on the all-time roll of dishonour. Splendidly, on this very day in 1963 club stalwart Frank Brattle (1937–1968, 31 ducks, 7th all-time) also strolled back for nought. - Mike Iliffe followed straight in, c R. Tottman b A. Trembeth — his 3rd of the season and 9th career, keeping him at 43rd all-time from just 51 innings. He too shares this date in duck history with the great Frank Brattle. - Terry Whittaker went the same way at four down, c J. Norris b J. Mortlock, his 4th duck of the season and 26th career — 10th on the all-time list. A long-serving name on the Quacking Together board alongside Brian Relf, and yet another Linton man keeping company with Frank Brattle on this September date in 1963. - Jon Harris, batting at nine, c J. Mortlock b G. Davis for his 1st duck of the season and 5th career, joins the honours board pantheon as a proud Full House member — a duck recorded at every position 1 through 11 — and a paid-up Debutante Duck alumnus from a past first-innings nought. His relative Richard Harris carries 36 career ducks of his own, a proper family tradition of the art of not scoring. Frank Brattle, unsurprisingly, was there too on this day in 1963. Sunday 8th — v Anchorians CC (h) - Terry Donovan fell lbw b M. Brown for his 1st duck of the season and 14th career, 26th all-time from 108 innings. A former Duck of the Year (1964) and long-time Full House nearly-man, agonisingly stuck on 10 of 11 positions. On this same day in 1945, club legend Stan Wratten (1943–1968, 28 ducks, 8th all-time) also made the walk for nought. Week in Summary Five ducks, two matches, all wearing 1st XI colours — a rare monopoly on misfortune. Triumph through adversity, as ever. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Paul Bowles — 7 ducks, 31 inn, 22.58% - Benny Bell — 5 ducks, 12 inn, 41.67% - Gordon Fenner — 4 ducks, 9 inn, 44.44% - Terry Whittaker — 4 ducks, 27 inn, 14.81% ⬆️ fresh from Saturday's effort - Louis Buels — 3 ducks, 4 inn, 75.0% The season race tightens with Terry Whittaker now level for 4th. Next fixture looms — who fancies joining the club? 0️⃣🏏🍩

A tidy little haul this week: four ducks from three matches, every single one laid by the 1st XI. The exclusive zero club never sleeps. Saturday 31 August — away at Beverley CC, Kent Opening the batting and, alas, opening the account for the wrong reasons, Basil Sears was bowled by John Stickells without scoring. His 2nd duck of the season and 24th of a long and storied career — 349 innings deep and 11th on the club's all-time roll of dubious honour. Neatly, on this very date back in 1952, the legendary John Thirkell (63 career ducks, four-time Duck of the Year, top of the pile at number one of 837) was doing precisely the same thing to A Levick XI. Some traditions really do run in the blood. Sunday 1 September — away at Staplehurst CC A double helping at Staplehurst. Paul Bowles, promoted to number five, was bowled by R- Westacott for his 6th duck of the season and 16th of a career now level with 1960s regular Fred Greenfield. Paul arrives already garlanded — Duck of the Year in both 1966 and 1968, and a fixture of the Ducks on the Road top ten — so this was simply business as usual. Back on this day in 1934, Bert Buckoke was enjoying an identical afternoon against Charles Arkcoll. Lower down, Ron Hickman was given lbw to the same tireless R- Westacott, his first duck of the season and 10th of his career from a brisk 19 innings — a rate that has already earned him a Quacking Together pairing (with Alan Cradduck) and, less flatteringly, a place on the Runaway Duck board for an entire scoreless 1965 season. Monday 2 September — away at Bearsted CC Paul Bowles could not resist an encore, lbw to Dave Bromley for a 7th duck of the season and 17th career, level now with Robert Murray. Staplehurst to Bearsted without troubling a single scorer — a proper pair for the weekend, and Paul's consistency of a very particular kind continues unabated. On this day in 1945, D Clark was marking the same occasion against 1st Innings MCPC. In summary: four ducks, three matches, one repeat offender. Triumph through adversity, thy name is Bowles. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 - Paul Bowles — 29 innings, 7 ducks (24.14%) - Benny Bell — 12 innings, 5 ducks (41.67%) - Gordon Fenner — 9 innings, 4 ducks (44.44%) - Louis Buels — 4 innings, 3 ducks (75.00%) - Terry Groves — 7 innings, 3 ducks (42.86%) Louis Buels' 75% is the sort of average the batting coach would rather not frame. Next weekend brings fresh opportunity for the art of not scoring — the ducks await, as ever, with open wings. 🍩0️⃣🏏

A modest but distinguished haul this week: three fresh entries to the exclusive zero club, all courtesy of the 1st XI, who made ducks something of a house speciality this weekend. 🏏 Saturday — v Aylesford Paper Mills CC (home) Openers don't always open well, and Benny Bell felt it first, bowled by J- Perrin without scoring. His 5th duck of the season and 12th of a career now standing at 42 innings puts him 28th of 836 in the all-time table - consistency of a very particular kind. On this very day back in 1901, J H Coles was going through precisely the same ritual against Yalding CC - some traditions never go out of fashion. Gordon Fenner followed at six, caught behind off David Keynes via Wayne Sprigmore, for his 4th duck of the season and 33rd of a career that now sits 6th on the all-time leaderboard. A chip off the old block, and then some - siblings Joe (5) and Maurice (1) Fenner are also paid-up club members. Fittingly, 1901 was clearly a vintage year for nought-hunting, with J H Coles at it again on this same date. 🏏 Sunday — v Harrietsham CC (away) The away trip brought the week's headline act. John Thirkell, bowled by Keith Chaney for nought, moves to 2 for the season and a staggering 63 for his career - officially the club's greatest ducker of all time, 1st of 836. Four Duck of the Year titles (1952, 1954, 1955 and 1967) sit alongside membership of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, plus twin "Quacking Together" honours shared with Bob Arnold and William Buck - triumph through adversity, indeed. Relative Tim Thirkell, on just 1 career duck, has rather a lot of catching up to do. And on this same date in 1904, T Woollett was similarly dismissed for nought against the Leeds Castle CC house team - the art of not scoring evidently transcends the decades. 📋 Week in Summary Two matches, three ducks, and the 1st XI cornering the market entirely - the 2nds, 3rds and 4ths escaped scot-free. Discipline, or just the wrong end of the batting order? We report, you decide. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Benny Bell - 12 inns, 5 ducks (41.67%) 2. Paul Bowles - 26 inns, 5 ducks (19.23%) 3. Gordon Fenner - 9 inns, 4 ducks (44.44%) 4. Louis Buels - 4 inns, 3 ducks (75.00%) 5. Terry Groves - 7 inns, 3 ducks (42.86%) Louis Buels leads the percentage charts by some distance - three from four is either shocking luck or a rare gift. 🍩 Next fixture looms, and with it, no doubt, further donations to the cause. The Duck Club never rests. 0️⃣🦆

A quiet weekend for the numbers, but not for the Duck Club — one man did the work of a whole XI, twice. 🏏 Saturday – Bowaters CC (away) Paul Bowles, first XI number three, was trapped lbw by Mervyn Stanton without ever really settling in. His 4th duck of the 1968 season and 14th in 86 career innings, moving him to 23rd on the all-time list of 836 — rarefied company for a man who also picked up the Duck of the Year honour back in 1966. On this very day in 1957, the immortal John Thirkell (1943–1968, still perched at number one all-time with 62) also fell to Bowaters CC. The fixture, it seems, has previous. 🌱 Sunday – The Mote CC (home) Bowles wasn't done. Twenty-four hours later he was bowled by P- Coatsworth for his 5th duck of the season and 15th of his career, holding at 23rd all-time. And in a splendid quirk of the calendar, John Thirkell ducked on this same date too, back in 1963 — also against The Mote CC. Two Bowles ducks, two Thirkell echoes, six years apart. Two in two days is a proper pair — a grim old double in the Club's own parlance, and one Bowles wears with the practised air of a man defending his title, since he's very much the reigning 1968 Duck of the Year in progress. He also remains a fixture on the Ducks on the Road top 10 and holds lifetime membership of the exclusive "Only Two Quacks" club alongside Adam Pooley, though that particular ignominy long predates this weekend. Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks, one name on the card both times. Not the volume Linton weekends are famous for, but concentrated brilliance where it counts — Bowles single-handedly kept the exclusive zero club open for business. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Paul Bowles — 24 inns, 5 ducks (20.8%) 2. Benny Bell — 11 inns, 4 ducks (36.4%) 3. Louis Buels — 4 inns, 3 ducks (75.0%) 4. Terry Groves — 7 inns, 3 ducks (42.9%) 5. Gordon Fenner — 8 inns, 3 ducks (37.5%) Bowles leads by a distance, but Louis Buels' 75% strike rate is the kind of consistency that gets a man talked about in committee. Next fixture beckons — who joins the book this time? We watch, we wait, we celebrate. 🦆🍩

A quiet one this week, ducklings. Two fixtures played across the period and, remarkably, not a single batsman could be persuaded into the exclusive zero club. Eleven names went out to bat across both sides and eleven names, one way or another, got off the mark. The art of not scoring is a fine and difficult craft, and this week the whole club seemingly forgot how to practise it. Whether this represents a genuine improvement in application or simply a temporary lapse in concentration from our more reliable contributors remains to be seen. Either way, the Duck Hunting Season leaderboard holds firm, unchanged and undisturbed, waiting for someone to come along and remind us all what LPCC does best. 0️⃣ Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 0️⃣ 🥇 Benny Bell — 4 ducks from 10 innings (40%) 🥈 Louis Buels — 3 ducks from 4 innings (75%) — a startling strike rate, arguably the week's most consistent performer in any category 🥉 Terry Groves — 3 ducks from 7 innings (42.86%) 4. Gordon Fenner — 3 ducks from 8 innings (37.5%) 5. Fred Greenfield — 3 ducks from 14 innings (21.43%) Louis Buels deserves a special mention here — three ducks from only four visits to the crease is triumph through adversity of a very particular kind, and at 75% he is quietly redefining what "specialist" can mean at this club. 🏏 Looking ahead The ducks may have evaded capture this week, but the Duck Club is a patient institution and the season is far from over. Benny Bell sits top of the pile for now, but with Louis Buels breathing down his neck on percentage alone, and Terry Groves and Gordon Fenner level on three apiece, there is everything still to play for. Get out there this weekend, LPCC — someone has to keep the honours board ticking over. 🦆🍩

Two fixtures on the card this weekend, and between them the Duck Club had just the one new arrival to usher into the exclusive zero club. A slim haul, but the ceremony proceeds regardless — the art of not scoring waits for no one. 1st XI At Goring By Sea, last man Terry Groves brought up the weekend's solitary duck, caught M Blunden bowled N McGregor. It's the 3rd duck of Terry's season and the 4th of his LPCC career from 15 innings, a tally that places him 93rd of 835 in the all-time standings — a place of dubious distinction he now shares the neighbourhood of, if not the exact number. Splendidly, on this very date in 1952 — sixteen years to the day — Gordon Fenner also walked back for nought, against Lord Cornwallis XI. Fenner, stalwart of the 1941-1968 era, sits 6th on the all-time roll with 32 career ducks, and is no mere historical footnote: he's very much active in this season's own hunting party too, as the leaderboard below confirms. Some men just have an eye for the occasion, in both directions. 🏏 Week in Summary A restrained weekend by Duck Club standards — one duck from two matches, most bats staying stubbornly occupied throughout. Terry carries the flag alone this week; the rest of the club will need to pull their weight if the season tally is to be respected. 0️⃣ Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Benny Bell — 4 ducks / 10 innings (40%) - Louis Buels — 3 ducks / 4 innings (75%) - Terry Groves — 3 ducks / 7 innings (42.86%) - Gordon Fenner — 3 ducks / 8 innings (37.5%) - Fred Greenfield — 3 ducks / 13 innings (23.08%) Louis Buels leads on strike rate if not raw volume — three-quarters of his innings ending in nought is triumph through adversity of a very particular kind. 🥇 Next fixture looms, and with it the usual opportunities for glory of the wrong sort. The Duck Club welcomes all challengers to the crease — come one, come nought. 🍩🦆

A tidy little haul this weekend, ducks-wise. Just the one team troubled the scorers with noughts, but Linton's 1st XI made up for the rest of the club's quiet weekend, delivering three quacks across two days — including a proper weekend double. 1st XI Saturday at Sibton Park CC: Fred Greenfield, batting at five, was caught behind off E- Impett for his 2nd duck of the season and 15th of an illustrious career, good enough for 19th on the all-time leaderboard of 835. A paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell innings, Fred shows no sign of actually retiring the habit. On this very day in 1952, LPCC stalwart Basil Sears (1947-1968, 23 career ducks, 11th all-time) was likewise dismissed for nought — the calendar has a long memory. Sunday at Paddock Wood CC brought the club's most decorated duck-getter to the crease. John Thirkell, LPCC's undisputed number one on the all-time duck rankings with a monumental 62 career ducks from 608 innings, was bowled by L- Anstead for his 1st of the 1968 season. Four-time Duck of the Year (1952, 1954, 1955, 1967), a fixture of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, and a veteran of Quacking Together doubles with both Bob Arnold and William Buck — John simply cannot stop adding to the pile. Elsewhere on the family tree, relative Tim Thirkell carries a single career duck of his own, so the art skips no generation. On this day in 1957, D- Jordan also fell for nought, one of only two ducks in a brief single-season career. Fred Greenfield wasn't finished either. Caught by K- Burr off L- Anstead in the same Paddock Wood innings, Fred collected his 3rd duck of the season and 16th of his career — a grim weekend pair, Saturday and Sunday noughts bookending the fixture list. The same 1957 echo applies here too, a Jordan duck having fallen on this date as well. Week in Summary Three ducks, two matches, one team doing all the heavy lifting while the 2nds, 3rds and Sunday sides kept their heads down entirely. Fred Greenfield's weekend pair is the standout — quality control was evidently optional at both Sibton Park and Paddock Wood. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏆 - Louis Buels — 3 ducks / 4 innings (75%) - Benny Bell — 4 ducks / 9 innings (44.44%) - Gordon Fenner — 3 ducks / 7 innings (42.86%) - Fred Greenfield — 3 ducks / 12 innings (25%) - John Ames — 3 ducks / 17 innings (17.65%) Fred's weekend pair has him climbing straight into the season's top five — form of a very particular kind. Next fixture awaits. Bats at the ready, ducks at the crease. 🦆0️⃣

A quiet weekend on the hunting grounds, ducklers. Two fixtures played, not a single nought to show for it — the entire Linton top order apparently remembered how a bat works. The zero club's membership committee met and had absolutely nothing to process. It happens. Even the most reliable purveyors of the golden goose egg have their off weeks, and this was one of them — every batsman across both matches got off the mark, however scratchily. Consistency of a very particular kind was, for once, nowhere to be found. Small mercies for the season's front-runners, mind — nobody added to their tally, so the leaderboard sits exactly as it did on Friday. No blushes, no fresh entries to the honours board, no father-and-son heartbreak this week. The art of not scoring took a rare rest. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Louis Buels — 3 ducks / 4 innings (75%) 🥇 — the reigning specialist, three-quarters of his season a study in restraint - Benny Bell — 4 ducks / 8 innings (50%) - Gordon Fenner — 3 ducks / 6 innings (50%) - John Ames — 3 ducks / 17 innings (17.65%) - Terry Whittaker — 3 ducks / 18 innings (16.67%) A table that will not stay this tidy for long. The season presses on, and somewhere out there a top edge to gully or an unplayable yorker is already being drawn up with somebody's name on it. Get out to the next fixture, LPCC — the ducks are only ever one ball away. 🏏0️⃣

A rare full-blooded assault on the stumps this weekend, with the 1st XI alone supplying all seven ducks of the period. The exclusive zero club welcomes seven new certificates to its ranks. Saturday 13 July — v Beverley CC, Kent (h) Paul Bowles fell for nought at three, bowled B. Terry — his 3rd of the season and 13th career duck, 26th of 834 all-time. A Duck of the Year man from 1966 with 1968 also on his board, and a charter member of the exclusive "Only Two Quacks" society with Adam Pooley. Fittingly, on this very day in 1963 a certain Terry Whittaker also made a duck, against a touring Terry Whittaker's XI — and the genuine article was next out today. In strolled Terry Whittaker himself at five, caught Collyer bowled Terry — his 3rd of the season, 25th career duck, 10th of 834 all-time. A "Quacking Together" veteran with Brian Relf and a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell. His own on-this-day echo dates to 1940, when Ernie Chiesman ducked against Loose CC. Terry Groves went at nine, run out, his 2nd of the season and 3rd career duck. Brian Fuller completed the rout at ten, bowled S. Rogers, his 2nd of the season and 2nd career duck — both riding that same 1963 vintage. Sunday 14 July — v Colin Eldred's XI (h) John Ames opened proceedings at three, bowled R. Mason — his 3rd of the season, a hefty 40th career duck, 3rd of 834 all-time. An honours board reading like a duck club constitution: Ducks in a Row, Homebody Duck top ten, and "Quacking Together" twice over with Roy Clarke and Stan Wratten. On this day in 1956, A Hughes made the same walk against A.Trembeths. Percy Brattle went at nine, caught Herd bowled Poulten — his 2nd of the season, 8th career duck. Keeping it in the family too, with a parent, Frank Brattle, already on 31 career ducks. Gordon Fenner rounded things off at ten, bowled Poulten — his 3rd of the season, 32nd career duck, 6th of 834 all-time. Siblings Joe (5) and Maurice (1) Fenner keep the family name well represented on the ledger. Week in Summary Seven ducks in two days, all 1st XI, all at home — the tail doing most of the damage, with five of seven falling at eight or below. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Benny Bell — 4/8 (50%) 2. Louis Buels — 3/4 (75%) 3. Gordon Fenner — 3/6 (50%) 4. John Ames — 3/16 (18.75%) 5. Terry Whittaker — 3/17 (17.65%) The 2nd, 3rd and 4th XIs escaped unscathed — purely a temporary reprieve. Next fixture, the ducks will be waiting. 🍩🏏

A brisk weekend at Linton Park saw the 1st XI alone answer the call of the zero club, with two dismissals worth a proper fuss and one quiet Sunday that got away scot-free. Saturday 6 July — 1st XI away to Charles Arkcoll In at three and gone without troubling the scorers, Paul Bowles was caught Brian Aiston bowled Don Cleggett for his second duck of the season and 12th of an illustrious career spanning 80 innings, good enough for 30th on the club's all-time list of 834. He arrives already garlanded — Duck of the Year back in 1966 — and with the season sitting at 1968, he's currently the reigning Duck of the Year for this campaign too, a crown he'll be defending all summer. He's also a fixture of the Ducks on the Road top 10 and one half of the Only Two Quacks double act with Adam Pooley. On this very date in 1958, William Buck (1950–1968, 28 ducks, 9th all-time) was likewise sent packing for nought, a full decade before Paul followed him back to the pavilion on the identical calendar day. Six wickets later at number eight, Terry Groves fell caught Cleggett bowled John Ames, his first duck of the season and second of a young career now standing at 12 innings, 181st on the club's roll of dishonour. He shares the very same on-this-day company as his teammate, William Buck's 1958 nought against Hambros Bank landing on this identical date, so both Linton men walked the plank on an anniversary. Spare a thought too for the bowling figures — John Ames, architect of Terry's downfall, also turns up further down this report chasing ducks of his own with the bat. Poacher and gamekeeper in one afternoon. Sunday 7 July A vegan affair by comparison. The Sunday fixture came and went without a single Linton batsman troubling the Duck Club recorder. Ducks: 0. Relief: temporary. Week in summary Two ducks from two matches, both courtesy of the 1st XI, both at Charles Arkcoll, a venue apparently allergic to Linton runs on 6 July. No pairs and no family affairs this week, just two honest men walking back for nought in decent company. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Benny Bell — 4 ducks from 8 innings (50%) - Louis Buels — 3 ducks from 4 innings (75%) - Gordon Fenner — 2 ducks from 5 innings (40%) - Mike Iliffe — 2 ducks from 13 innings (15.38%) - John Ames — 2 ducks from 14 innings (14.29%) Benny Bell holds top spot on raw ducks, but Louis Buels is quietly running the best strike rate in the club and closing fast. The season race is far from settled. Roll on the next fixture, the zero club never sleeps, and there are always more Linton willows waiting to be beaten by nothing at all. 🦆🍩

A modest but perfectly formed harvest this week: four ducks harvested across two fixtures, every one via the 1st XI. No debutants troubling the honours board this week, just old hands adding to already substantial ledgers. 🏏 Saturday 29th June — vs Tilling Steven (Home) Three ducks fell in this one, a proper cluster of misfortune. Basil Sears (No. 2) went first, caught D- Moorkite bowled D- Pound, his 1st duck of the season and 23rd of an increasingly distinguished career, now 11th in the all-time standings from 343 innings. On this very date in 1907, Ernest Cruttenden also walked back for nought against Town Malling CC, en route to 10 career ducks and Duck of the Year honours in 1895. Benny Bell (No. 4) followed, bowled D- Pound, his 4th duck of the season already — a startling rate from just 36 career innings — and his 11th overall, 30th all-time. He too finds company on this date in Ernest Cruttenden's 1907 nought at Town Malling. Gordon Fenner (No. 7) completed the set, caught Sub bowled D- Carcary, his 2nd of the season and 31st for his career, a lofty 7th all-time from 221 innings. Something of a family trade: siblings Joe (5 career ducks) and Maurice (1) are already members in their own right. Gordon shares the date too, with Cruttenden's Town Malling nought of 1907 — evidently a good day for getting out for nothing. 🏏 Sunday 30th June — vs Canterbury Pilgrims (Home) John Ames (No. 4) carried the flag alone on Sunday, caught R Gawler bowled K Collard, his 2nd duck of the season and 39th of a genuinely extraordinary career — 4th in the all-time standings, and a name already decorated with Ducks in a Row (four consecutive), a Homebody Duck top 10 placing, and shared quacking honours with Alan Wilkes, Roy Clarke and Stan Wratten. On this day in 1956, one R- Robinson also fell for nought against St Lukes Maidstone CC, though his entire career ran to just that single duck across two seasons, 343rd all-time. Rather different company for Ames to be keeping — a measure of just how rarefied his consistency really is. 📊 Week in Summary Two matches, four ducks, no golden ducks, no pairs, no family affairs this time — just honest, workmanlike collapse, three-quarters of it concentrated in a single Saturday innings against Tilling Steven. The 1st XI shouldered the full weight of ignominy; everyone else got off scot-free. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Benny Bell — 4 ducks / 6 innings (66.67%) 2. Louis Buels — 3 ducks / 4 innings (75.0%) 3. Gordon Fenner — 2 ducks / 4 innings (50.0%) 4. Mike Iliffe — 2 ducks / 12 innings (16.67%) 5. John Ames — 2 ducks / 14 innings (14.29%) Louis Buels tops the strike rate but Benny Bell's volume keeps him top of the pile — plenty of season left for either to be overtaken. 🦆 Roll up next weekend, ducks. The zero club never closes.

A modest one-match weekend on the fixture list, but Hartley Country Club CC made sure the Duck Club still got its exercise — two noughts recorded in a single innings, and a rather eerie date to boot. 1st XI v Hartley Country Club CC (home) - Mike Iliffe departed for nought, caught B Bache off I King. It's his 2nd duck of the season and 8th for the club in 45 innings, holding steady at 48th in the all-time charts — a place of dubious distinction he's occupied for a while now. Spookily, on this very day back in 1906, Jack Fryer also walked back for a duck against 1st Innings Leeds Castle CC, proof the calendar has form for this sort of thing. - Gordon Fenner followed him back, caught M Preston bowled I Gibbons. A first duck of the season for Gordon, but his 30th in a Linton career now standing at 220 innings — enough to hold a lofty 7th on the all-time leaderboard, a rarefied stratum most of us can only dream of visiting. Fittingly, he shares that same 23 June 1906 duck-date with Iliffe's own Jack Fryer, as if this Hartley fixture has been cursed since Edwardian times. A chip off more than one old block too — siblings Joe (5 career ducks) and Maurice (1) already have places in the family wing of the club. Week in Summary Just the one match, just the two ducks, both departing without troubling the scorers and both, curiously, sharing a 62-year-old historical echo. Consistency of a very particular kind. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Louis Buels — 4 innings, 3 ducks (75%) - Benny Bell — 5 innings, 3 ducks (60%) - Mike Iliffe — 12 innings, 2 ducks (16.67%) - Terry Whittaker — 15 innings, 2 ducks (13.33%) - Alan Wilkes — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) Louis Buels sets the pace with three-quarters of his innings ending in nought — a percentage the rest of the club should be thoroughly ashamed to admire. Next fixture awaits. The bat is willing, the technique less so — see you at the crease. 🦆🏏

Three fixtures on the go this weekend, but the ducks kept a low profile — only two found their way onto the board, both from the 1st XI's trip to Beverley CC, Kent on the 17th. 1st XI v Beverley CC, Kent Terry Whittaker, in at six, was snapped up by A Fox off the bowling of B Horton — his 2nd duck of the summer and 24th of an increasingly distinguished career, good enough for 10th in the all-time standings from 215 innings. Terry keeps company on the "Quacking Together" honours board alongside Brian Relf, and carries a Retirement Duck credential from a past sign-off, though today's effort is very much business as usual rather than a farewell. On this day back in 1939, X Rayner also walked back for nought, against Castle Hill CC, Kent, somewhere in a career that ran 1939 to 1963 — the calendar has a long memory. Down at ten, Tim Thirkell supplied the second and final duck of the weekend, run out with the exact circumstances lost to an incomplete scorebook. It's his first duck of the season and, in only his second senior innings, opens his career account on 1 — good enough for 362nd of 834 in the all-time list, and enough to enrol him in some serious company: the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens all carry his name, and he already holds a share of the Full House honour for having ducked in every position 1 through 11 across his career, with a "Quacking Together" pairing alongside Jim Hall also on the books. A chip off an old block, evidently — relative John Thirkell carries 61 career ducks of his own, with Stuart Thirkell good for one more besides. And fittingly, Tim shares his moment with Terry — on this same day in 1939, X Rayner made his duck too, against Castle Hill CC, Kent. Elsewhere The other two fixtures of the period passed off duck-free this time — nothing further to add to the ledger. A quiet weekend by Duck Club standards: two ducks from three matches, both courtesy of the 1st XI, and both against the same opposition on the same afternoon. Consistency, of a sort. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Louis Buels — 3 ducks from 4 innings (75%) - Benny Bell — 3 ducks from 5 innings (60%) - Terry Whittaker — 2 ducks from 14 innings (14.29%) - Alan Wilkes — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) - Brian Relf — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) Buels and Bell continue to set the pace in the race for Duck of the Year, but Whittaker's weekend contribution keeps him firmly in the hunt. The season is young yet. 🏏 Next fixture, next opportunity — the exclusive zero club never closes its books. Bring your bat, and bring your sense of humour. 🦆🍩

A curiously restrained weekend for the exclusive zero club. Three fixtures played, and the Duck Hunting Season managed to bag precisely one nought between them — proof, if any were needed, that even a place of dubious distinction has its quiet Saturdays. 🏏 Saturday — 1st XI away to Hartley Country Club CC Benny Bell, promoted to number 7, departed for a duck — caught G Taylor, bowled X Hibble. It's Benny's 3rd duck of the 1968 season and the 10th of his career across 34 innings, a tally that plants him 34th of 834 on the Club's all-time roll of shame. Consistency of a very particular kind. And in a pleasing quirk of the calendar, on this very day back in 1963 Ron Hickman also strolled back for nought — against Gore Court CC, as it happens. Hickman's own career (1963–1965) ran to 9 ducks and 42nd on the all-time list, and he remains enshrined on two honours boards: Quacking Together (with Alan Cradduck) and the Runaway Duck of 1965, awarded for an entire season without troubling a single scorer. Benny isn't quite in that company yet — but the anniversary is noted, and the Club is watching. 🌱 The other two fixtures Elsewhere across the weekend, both remaining sides declined to offer up a single duck — a thoroughly vegan showing all round, and no material for this report. The art of not scoring took the weekend off, apparently. 📊 Week in Summary 3 matches played, 1 duck recorded. A lean haul by the Club's usual standards — either batting stocks are unusually sound at the moment, or everyone's simply saving themselves for the week ahead. We remain hopeful it's the latter. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard — Top 5 - Benny Bell — 4 innings, 3 ducks, 75% - Louis Buels — 4 innings, 3 ducks, 75% - Alan Wilkes — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Brian Relf — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Brian Fuller — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% Benny and Louis lead the charge at a startling 75% strike rate for nothing at all, with Wilkes and Relf both flirting dangerously with a perfect record of imperfection. 🍩 Looking Ahead Slim pickings this week, but the season is young and the fixtures keep coming. Who'll be next to walk the lonely walk back to the pavilion? We watch. We wait. We celebrate. 🦆0️⃣

Five matches out on the paddock this week and, remarkably, not a single member troubled the scorers for nought. The zero club stood down, doors locked, ledger untouched. Somewhere out there eleven batting line-ups conspired to actually score runs, a state of affairs the committee views with mild suspicion. Whether this was genuine improvement or simply a week of shot selection too good to be interesting is not for us to say. The art of not scoring is a fickle mistress, and she has evidently taken the week off. Normal service, we are reliably informed, resumes shortly — LPCC batsmen have never gone two weeks running without finding a way back to the pavilion empty-handed, and 1968 is not about to start setting precedents. 🏏 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 Louis Buels — 3 ducks from 4 innings, a startling 75%. At this rate he is less "batsman" and more "ceremonial guard of honour for the bowling side." 🥈 Benny Bell — 2 from 3, 66.67%. Consistency of a very particular kind. 🥉 Alan Wilkes — 1 from 1, a flawless 100%. Full marks for efficiency, none for runs. Brian Relf — 1 from 1, also 100%, joining Wilkes in the exclusive zero club on debut form alone. Brian Fuller — 1 from 2, 50%. The steadying hand of the group, relatively speaking. Buels retains his grip on top spot and will want to keep it that way, though with Bell only a duck behind and the season still young, this particular chase for ignominy is far from settled. 📅 A quiet week, then, but the Duck Club never truly rests — it merely waits. Next weekend's fixtures will surely furnish fresh candidates for the honours board. We watch. We wait. We celebrate. 0️⃣🍩

A quiet week for the counting sticks in most quarters, but the exclusive zero club took in four new subscriptions this week, all courtesy of the 1st XI. 1st XI v The Mote CC (Sun 26 May, away) Openers of misfortune Richard Ashby and Alan Wilkes went down together at the death, Ashby caught behind off Ian Milsted for his 1st duck of the season, moving to a hefty 20 career ducks from 125 innings and 15th on the all-time list. A proud member of the "Ducks in a Row" five-in-a-row honours board and the Tourist Duck top 10, Richard's consistency of a very particular kind continues undimmed. On this very day in 1957, Cliff Anscombe (1957-1968, 15 career ducks) also strolled back for nought against Ron Aiston's XI — a Duck of the Year winner that season and no stranger to a Debutante Duck himself. Moments later Alan Wilkes was stumped off Phil Briant, also his 1st of the season, and — curiously — also arriving at exactly 20 career ducks, from a leaner 84 innings. Alan carries the "Only Two Quacks" honour twice over (with Bob Arnold and with John Ames) plus a "Runaway Duck" 1964 season without a run to his name — triumph through adversity indeed. He too shares Cliff Anscombe's 1957 date-twin duck against Ron Aiston's XI. 1st XI v Boughton Monchelsea CC (Tue 28 May, away) Mike Iliffe was run out for nought, his 1st duck of the season and 7th of an increasingly duck-flecked career (38 innings, rank 52 of 834). On this day in 1928, Bert Buckoke (1928-1953, 12 career ducks, twice Duck of the Year) also fell for a duck, against Bearsted CC. Benny Bell was bowled by Trevor Back for his 2nd duck of the season, taking him to 9 career ducks from just 33 innings — rank 38 of 834 and climbing at pace. Benny shares Iliffe's date-twin honours, with Bert Buckoke also making his nought on this same calendar day back in 1928. Week in Summary Three fixtures, two of them productive for the Duck Club, four ducks banked. No golden ducks, no pairs, no family affairs this week — just honest, unhurried application to the art of not scoring. The 2nds, 3rds and 4ths escaped entirely unblemished, which either speaks well of their batting or badly of their luck avoiding attention. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 1. Louis Buels — 3 ducks / 3 innings (100%) 2. Benny Bell — 2 ducks / 3 innings (67%) 3. Alan Wilkes — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 3. Brian Relf — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 5. Brian Fuller — 1 duck / 2 innings (50%) Louis Buels sits imperiously atop the season standings on a flawless record — every innings a nought, a feat of terrible purity. Can anyone catch him before the season's out? See you all next fixture — the ducks never sleep. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Two fixtures out at Linton Park this weekend and, remarkably, not a single nought to show for it. Every batsman who walked to the crease walked back having troubled the scorer at least once. The Duck Club's talent scouts went home empty-handed. It happens. Even the most dedicated collectors of the dreaded 0️⃣ have their off weeks — the irony being that an "off week" for this club means everybody actually scored. Consistency, as ever, of a very particular kind: this time consistently not getting out first ball. Let it not be said the season has gone soft, though. The exclusive zero club remains open for business, membership applications very much still welcome, and with a season's worth of fixtures still ahead there is ample time for someone to restore order. 🏏 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Louis Buels — 3 ducks from 3 innings (100%) — a flawless record, if "flawless" is the word for it. Not a single survived delivery all season. 2. Brian Relf — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) — in at the top on his only outing so far. Nowhere to go but... well, let's see. 3. Benny Bell — 1 duck from 2 innings (50%) — a coin-flip so far this season. 4. Brian Fuller — 1 duck from 2 innings (50%) — level with Benny, both giving it a genuine 50-50 shot each time out. 5. Cliff Anscombe — 1 duck from 3 innings (33.33%) — the model of restraint by comparison, though still very much on the board. Louis Buels sits imperiously atop the table with the purest kind of consistency the game offers — three innings, three ducks, nothing else to report. Whether that run continues or gets broken next time out, the Duck Club will be watching with great interest and no small amount of affection. 📅 A quiet weekend, then, but the season is young and the club's collective faith in human fallibility remains unshaken. Somebody, somewhere, will nick one behind next Saturday — the art of not scoring never rests for long. Until then — keep your eyes on the middle stump and your bat, ideally, well away from it. 🦆

Four days, two fixtures, five glorious noughts — the Gore Court glut did most of the damage before Reeds CC tidied up the leftovers. Read on for this week's contributions to the art of not scoring. 🏏 Sunday 12 May – Gore Court CC (Home) A proper cluster at Linton Park as four wickets fell without so much as a squeak off the bat, Derek Gould doing the damage for three of them. Paul Bowles, at four, was bowled by Gould — his 11th career duck in 65 innings, 32nd on the all-time list. Handily, this keeps him snug atop the 1968 Duck of the Year table, an honour he last held in 1966, so the crown is starting to look hereditary. On this very day back in 1906, D H Luck also strolled back for nought, against Town Malling CC — some things never change. Louis Buels followed, caught Ken Drury bowled Gould at eight. Three innings, three ducks — a flawless 100% record that already has him top of the season charts. The Debutante Duck board confirms his very first knock was also a blank, so consistency, if nothing else, has never been in question. Keeping company again with D H Luck's 1906 blank. Brian Fuller, at nine, fell the same way — bowled Gould — for his first career duck from just two innings. Another for the Luck ledger. Percy Brattle rounded things off at ten, bowled Roy Vince, his 7th career duck from 48 innings (52nd all-time). The Brattle name is no stranger to the club's zero column — kin Frank Brattle carries 31 of his own, a proper family tradition of the wrong kind. D H Luck, 1906, once more for company. 🚂 Wednesday 15 May – Reeds CC (Away) Fred Greenfield, at six, was trapped lbw by J Archer for his 14th career duck from 94 innings, 24th on the all-time roll and a long-standing member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell. On this day in 1958, Cliff Anscombe made his own contribution against Mote A, en route to 15 career ducks and the 1957 Duck of the Year title. 📋 Week in Summary Five ducks from two matches — Derek Gould alone claimed three of them, arguably deserving an honorary Duck Club membership of his own. Louis Buels' immaculate 100% record is the headline act of the week, though the whole middle-to-lower order at Gore Court will want a quiet word with themselves. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Louis Buels — 3 innings, 3 ducks, 100% - Brian Relf — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Benny Bell — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% - Brian Fuller — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% - Cliff Anscombe — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% The season's still young and the exclusive zero club has plenty of room left. Get down to the next fixture, bring your bat, and let's see who's queuing up to join.

A quiet one this week, ducklings — a single fixture, a single match, and just the one soul dispatched into the exclusive zero club. But quality over quantity, as ever, is the Duck Club's guiding creed. 🏏 1st XI vs Bobbing Court CC (away) Coming in at number six, Louis Buels departed run out — the identity of the fielder responsible lost, rather fittingly, to the mists of time. It's his second duck of the season and, remarkably, his second duck in as many career innings, a flawless 100% strike rate in the art of not scoring. Louis is already a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, having ducked on his very first-ever innings, and has wasted no time doubling down rather than diversifying. He now sits at 167th of 834 in the all-time standings — early days, but the trajectory is ominous. Neat historical footnote for the romantics among you: on this very day back in 1956, LPCC great Richard Harris — a fixture of the club from 1940 to 1965 and now 5th of 834 all-time with 36 career ducks — also strolled back for nought, albeit against Marden CC rather than Bobbing Court. The calendar, it seems, has long had a taste for ducks in early May. 📊 Week in Summary One match, one duck, one man carrying the entire club's honour this week. No pairs, no golden ducks, no family affairs to report — a rare week of restraint from the LPCC top order. Bobbing Court will no doubt claim the credit; we know better. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Louis Buels — 2 innings, 2 ducks (100%) 2. Benny Bell — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 3. Brian Relf — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 4. Cliff Anscombe — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 5. John Ames — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) Four names locked at a perfect 100% early in the season — the bar for Duck of the Year has been set high, and set fast. 🍩 Plenty of cricket still to come — the next fixture is never short of candidates. Pads on, ducks at the ready. 🦆0️⃣

Saturday, away at West Farleigh Green, and the Duck Club enjoyed a bumper harvest — four ducks in a single innings, all procured off the bowling of Micky Back. Cliff Anscombe fell first, bowled at first wicket down for nought — his 15th career duck from 76 innings, good enough for 19th on the all-time list. Cliff is a long-standing Debutante Duck (his own first innings was a blob too) and a former Duck of the Year back in 1957, so this one merely swells an already distinguished collection. On this very day in 1952, none other than club record-holder John Thirkell (61 career ducks, still top of the pile) was also trudging back against Maidstone Trades — Cliff keeps exalted company. Benny Bell went next, contriving to be out hit wicket off Back — no assistance required from the opposition. His 8th career duck from 31 innings sits him 44th all-time, and, as it happens, shares his day with Thirkell's own 1952 exploits. Terry Whittaker (lbw, Back) made it three, his 23rd career duck from 203 innings — a lofty 10th all-time. Terry carries the Quacking Together honour alongside Brian Relf on his board, plus a Retirement Duck entry from a past farewell, though nobody is suggesting today marked any such thing. And it was fitting that Brian Relf himself completed the rout, bowled at number 11 for his 21st career duck (44 innings, 12th all-time). Brian's own honours shelf groans under Debutante Duck, Quack-to-Quack, Retirement Duck and that same Quacking Together pairing with Terry above — quite the family of trophies, even if today's contribution was just another line in the ledger. Sunday, at home to Paddock Wood CC, offered no respite. John Ames opened and was bowled by K- Burr without scoring — his 38th career duck from 286 innings, 4th all-time behind only the true greats. John's board is heaving: Ducks in a Row (four on the bounce), a place in the Homebody Duck top 10, and shared Quacking Together billing with both Roy Clarke and Stan Wratten. On this same day in 1956, a young R Vincent was marking his own debut with a duck against West Farleigh CC — the sort of start John himself will remember fondly. Best of all, Louis Buels introduced himself to senior cricket in the purest Duck Club fashion — bowled by P- Bradshaw for nought on his very first appearance. An instant, unarguable induction into the Debutante Duck club, membership bestowed on arrival rather than earned. He joins Vincent, above, in duck-on-debut company, twelve years and a Duck Club generation apart. A weekend total of 6 ducks from 2 matches, with Micky Back single-handedly responsible for four of them — a proper opening to the 1968 books. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Benny Bell — 1 inn, 1 duck, 100% - Brian Relf — 1 inn, 1 duck, 100% - Cliff Anscombe — 1 inn, 1 duck, 100% - John Ames — 1 inn, 1 duck, 100% - Louis Buels — 1 inn, 1 duck, 100% Everyone tied at the top and the season barely a weekend old — the race for Duck of the Year 1968 is wide open. The books stay open next fixture, and the Duck Club awaits its next honorand with characteristic enthusiasm. 🦆🍩0️⃣