🦆 The Duck Pond

A quiet week for the exclusive zero club — just two additions to the ledger across two fixtures — but as ever, quality trumps quantity in the art of not scoring. 🏏 Saturday — 1st XI at Selling CC Anton Bourdillon departed for the season's 2nd duck, caught Dominic Hamlyn bowled Tony Carter at number 9. It's his 5th career duck from 15 innings, good enough for 176th on the all-time list — and while Anton is a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club, having famously ducked on his actual debut, this one is very much a repeat offence rather than an origin story. He now sits shoulder to shoulder with Harry Bee, who played 2008–2012 and took a far more leisurely 31 innings to accumulate the same 5 — Anton, by comparison, is getting there at quite a lick. 🌱 Sunday — 1st XI at Tenterden CC Luke Welsman was bowled by Tom Richards at number 4, his 7th duck of the season and 27th of a distinguished career spanning 125 innings — 46th on the all-time roll of dishonour. Luke arrives with previous form: Duck of the Year in 2015, in 2016, and — pointedly — in 2017 too, meaning this latest failure is less a surprise than a coronation. He's also a Full House nearly-man, having ducked in 10 of the 11 batting positions, leaving one stubborn gap to complete the set. On the career tally he draws level with Craig Sands, active 2002–2017, who needed a marathon 461 innings to reach 27 — Luke has managed the feat rather more economically, which is either a badge of honour or a cause for concern depending on your point of view. 📅 Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks, one bowled, one caught behind the stumps in the field — no pairs, no family affairs, and nobody troubling the King Pair honours this week. A restrained showing all round, though the Duck of the Year race shows no sign of cooling. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Luke Welsman — 7 ducks / 46 innings (15.22%) - Darrell Houghton-Judge — 6 ducks / 29 innings (20.69%) - Benjamin Austin — 4 ducks / 25 innings (16.00%) - Engarshal Sinnaraja — 3 ducks / 5 innings (60.00% 🍩) - Tim Wright — 3 ducks / 10 innings (30.00%) Engarshal remains the standout on pure percentage — three from five is triumph through adversity of a very particular kind.

A quiet weekend for the exclusive zero club — just the one arrival — but what an arrival it was. Saturday 16th — 1st XI v Stowting CC (h) Trevor Back walked out at four and departed for nought, bowled by Jacques Brown after seeing off three balls — no golden duck here, just a duck earned the honest way, over several deliveries of careful application before the inevitable. It's his 2nd of the season and a mighty 84th of his career, moving him to a rock-solid 4th on the all-time list out of 1,463 names ever to have graced — or disgraced — a Linton Park scorecard. Trevor remains a fixture of the Ducks on the Road top 10, the Homebody Duck top 10 and the Lone Duck top 10 alike — proof that wherever the fixture, home or away, the duck finds him regardless. He also carries standing memberships of Only Two Quacks (with Allan Cooper) and Quacking Together (with Jon Harris) — company that includes the club's own all-time number one. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1962, Richard Ashby — who turned out for the club from 1962 to 1995 — also made a duck, his against Staplehurst CC. Ashby finished his career on 28 ducks, good for 42nd all-time, and remains a paid-up member of Ducks in a Row (5 consecutive) and the Tourist Duck top 10. Sixty-five years apart, same fate, same September date — the art of not scoring transcends generations. Elsewhere The second fixture of the weekend passed off entirely duck-free — 22 wickets between the two matches and only Trevor answered the call. A rare weekend of restraint from the rest of the club. Week in Summary 2 matches, 1 duck, 0 golden ducks, 0 pairs, 0 family affairs. The ducks mostly evaded capture this week — Trevor flying the flag solo. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Darrell Houghton-Judge — 6 ducks / 27 inns (22.2%) - Luke Welsman — 6 ducks / 44 inns (13.6%) - Benjamin Austin — 4 ducks / 25 inns (16.0%) - Engarshal Sinnaraja — 3 ducks / 5 inns (60.0%) 🍩 - Tim Wright — 3 ducks / 10 inns (30.0%) Engarshal remains the season's most efficient collector by a distance — three ducks from just five trips to the crease is triumph through adversity of a very particular kind. Next fixture looms and the honours board never sleeps. Who'll be joining Trevor in the column marked "0" next time out? 🏏0️⃣

Five nought's across three fixtures this week as the season enters its final furlong. The exclusive zero club welcomes fresh (and returning) faces below. Saturday — 1st XI v Offham CC (h) Nat Presneill departed at five, bowled by Nathan Brooker — his 3rd duck of the season and 22nd of a career now standing at 88 innings, rank 67 of 1463. Nat is serious honours-board royalty: Duck of the Year 2013, a Quack-to-Quack graduate and a Retirement Duck alumnus from a past farewell. He now sits level with Alan Boyns, who took a leisurely 219 innings (1986–2016) to reach the same 22 — Nat got there rather more efficiently. Charles Curteis followed, bowled by Adam Kent at seven — his 2nd of the season, 4th of career (17 innings, rank 199). On this very day in 2000, Daniel Thirkell was doing the exact same thing against Bearsted CC, on his way to a Tourist Duck top ten career. Midweek XI v Penshurst Park CC (a) Trevor Back — 4th in the all-time table on 83 — edged Jake Cheesman behind for his lone duck of the season, from a mighty 746 innings. Trevor's cabinet already groans under Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top ten honours, plus two Quacking Together partnerships. On this day in 2003 Christopher Thirkell fell identically against Upchurch CC en route to his Duck of the Year 2005. Cheesman struck again moments later, removing John Karassellos — 3rd of the season, 4th of career from 31 innings (rank 208). John extends his Ducks in a Row to five and remains a Full House nearly-man, one position shy of the complete set. He shares Trevor's exact calendar twin in Christopher Thirkell. A family trait, too — kin Anthony Karassellos already has a career duck of his own. Sunday 1st XI v Cobham CC, Kent (h) Benjamin Austin fell at two to David Andrews — his 4th duck of the season and 10th of career from 81 innings, rank 116. A Debutante Duck club member from a long-ago first innings, he now draws level on 10 with Jack Jenner, who took until 53 innings (2003–2008) to get there. Keeping it in the family, sibling Jordan Austin carries 19 career ducks and father Mark Austin has one of his own. Week in summary Five ducks, three matches, three different sides represented — no pairs, no family doubles this time, but a healthy showing of honours-board pedigree among the fallen. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Darrell Houghton-Judge — 6 ducks, 26 inns, 23.08% - Luke Welsman — 6 ducks, 43 inns, 13.95% - Benjamin Austin — 4 ducks, 24 inns, 16.67% - Engarshal Sinnaraja — 3 ducks, 5 inns, 60.0% - Tim Wright — 3 ducks, 10 inns, 30.0% Darrell clings to top spot but Luke lurks. Roll on next weekend — the crease waits for no one, and neither does the Duck Club 🦆🏏0️⃣

Three fixtures, four ducks, and the exclusive zero club welcomes a fresh round of members to its dubious ranks. Here's who joined the queue this weekend. Saturday 2nd September 1st XI v Meopham CC (h) Kevin Presneill departed run out at position 5 without so much as facing a delivery — a genuine Diamond Duck for 2017, the purest form of anticlimax, gone before the contest even began. It's his 3rd duck of the season and 27th of an increasingly storied career, lifting him to 45th on the all-time list of 1462. He now sits level on 27 with Craig Sands, who took 461 innings across 2002–1967 to reach the same total — Kevin's got there in a considerably brisker 293. Fittingly, the art of not scoring runs in the family: kinsman Nat Presneill already carries 21 career ducks of his own. 2nd XI v Meopham CC (a) Luke Welsman edged behind, caught Max Luckett bowled Matt Innes. His 6th duck of the season and 26th of his career, rank 49 of 1462, draws him level with Joshua Knowler, who needed 191 innings across 2008–2017 to get there. Luke arrives with the crown already on his head — a three-time Duck of the Year (2015, 2016 and now 2017) — and remains a Full House nearly-man, having ducked in 10 of the 11 possible positions. One suspects position 11 is simply biding its time. Sunday 3rd September Sunday 2nd XI v Sherwood CC, Kent (a) Benjamin Austin, opening at 2, fell caught Jake Hobbes bowled Justin Worth for his 3rd duck of the season and 9th of his career, rank 124 of 1462 — level with Jack Gwynn, who reached 9 in 56 innings between 2011 and 2017. The Austin name is well represented in these pages already, with sibling Jordan sitting on 19 career ducks and relative Mark on 1. Batting at 9, John Karassellos was bowled by Richard Gentry for his 2nd duck of the season and 3rd of his career, rank 254 of 1462, joining Charles Curteis on that tally, who managed his 3 in just 16 innings across 2016–2017. John remains a proud member of the Ducks in a Row honours board (5 consecutive) and a Full House nearly-man in his own right, with relative Anthony Karassellos already a fellow duck-club name on 1. The Week in Brief Four ducks from three matches, evenly split across the weekend — Meopham CC clearly enjoyed hunting season, claiming a brace on Saturday alone. No pairs, no kings, no family doubles this time round, but plenty of company found on the all-time ledger. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🏆 1. Darrell Houghton-Judge — 6 ducks in 24 innings (25.0%) 2. Luke Welsman — 6 ducks in 40 innings (15.0%) 3. Engarshal Sinnaraja — 3 ducks in 5 innings (60.0%) 4. Tim Wright — 3 ducks in 10 innings (30.0%) 5. Kevin Presneill — 3 ducks in 18 innings (16.67%) Two of this week's names already on the leaderboard, and with the season entering its final stretch, the race for top honours is far from settled. Next fixture, next chance — the ducks await. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Three fixtures out on the county's finest turf this weekend, and yet the harvest was thin — just a single duck to register in the club's ledger. Even the exclusive zero club has its quiet weeks. Treat this one, therefore, with disproportionate reverence. 🏏 2nd XI — Limpsfield Chart CC (home) Coming in at first drop on the Saturday, Tobey Castle was held by Gurjeet -Sukhi- Singh off the bowling of Martin Phillips and walked back without so much as troubling the scorers. It's his third duck of the 2017 campaign and his 11th in senior colours from 72 innings — enough to secure him 114th spot of 1462 in the club's all-time roll of dishonour. That tally plants him level with Andrew Moss, who plied his trade from 1968 to 2008 and reached the same 11 ducks across 135 innings, before eventually bowing out of his own Linton career on a duck — a fittingly circular honour to be sharing a number with. Ducking, it seems, is something of a Castle family pursuit, if a loosely inherited one — father David Castle carries a mighty 47 career ducks, while brother Mardey has so far managed just the one. Plenty of room for Tobey to close the gap on the old man yet. Elsewhere across the weekend's three fixtures, the other sides declined to add to the tally — a rare collective triumph over adversity, or possibly just decent batting. Either way, the Duck Club will take the quiet week as a chance to catch its breath before the next assault. 📊 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard — 2017 - Darrell Houghton-Judge — 6 ducks from 22 innings (27.3%) - Luke Welsman — 5 ducks from 38 innings (13.2%) - Engarshal Sinnaraja — 3 ducks from 5 innings (60.0%) — a rate that borders on the ceremonial - Tim Wright — 3 ducks from 10 innings (30.0%) - Adam Jackson — 3 ducks from 18 innings (16.7%) Darrell holds a commanding lead in the race for Duck of the Year, but with fixtures still to come there's ample time for a late surge from the chasing pack. 📅 Looking ahead One duck may not sound like much, but the Duck Club has never dealt in volume — only in the quiet, consistent celebration of getting out for nought. Next weekend's fixtures offer fresh opportunity for the faithful to add their names to the honours board. We watch. We wait. We celebrate. 🦆🍩

Five matches, four ducks this week — a lean harvest, but the zero club still found room for a couple of new entries and some pleasing symmetry with names from decades past. Saturday — 2nd XI v Betsham CC (away) Darrell Houghton-Judge fell at six, caught Mick Cumming bowled Regan Whitfield, for his 6th duck of the season and 19th of his career in 92 innings — 71st on the all-time list. Darrell remains a Full House nearly-man, having ducked in 10 of the 11 batting positions, the last one stubbornly uncompleted. He now sits level on 19 career ducks with Jordan Austin, who compiled his own between 2008 and 2017. Toby Fermor went at eight, lbw Gary Withero, his 2nd duck of the season and remarkably his 2nd in just 2 career innings, a flawless if unwanted 100% record. A paid-up member of both the Debutante Duck club, his first-ever innings a blob, and the Retirement Duck club, a standing presumption rather than a farewell notice. He joins Alan Probert on the same 2-from-2 tally, set back in 2008-09. Sunday — 1st XI v Mersham Le Hatch CC (away) Joshua Knowler was caught Jordan Godden bowled Rob Benn at five, his 3rd duck of the season and 26th career from 190 innings, 47th all-time. Joshua holds a Diamond Duck from 2015 and was Duck of the Year in 2010, the same year he was famously Quacked by Kin by Andrew Knowler. Kinsman Richard Knowler carries 12 career ducks of his own, clearly a family trait. Joshua draws level on 26 with Kevin Presneill, quietly assembling the same total across 291 innings since 2001. At ten, Harrison Fermor was bowled David Khan, his 2nd duck of the season and 3rd career from 9 innings, 251st all-time, another Debutante Duck club member from his own first innings. He joins Charles Curteis, who reached 3 career ducks across 2016-17, on the same mark. A notable week for the Fermor name — Toby at Betsham on Saturday, Harrison a day later at Mersham Le Hatch — different sides, different matches, so the formal Duck and Ducklings ceremony stays just out of reach. Week in Summary Four ducks, five matches, no pairs and no family doubles — the rarer ceremonies sit this one out. Quality over quantity, with two career tallies drawing level with club names from a different era. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🏆 1. Darrell Houghton-Judge — 6 ducks / 21 innings (28.6%) 2. Luke Welsman — 5 ducks / 37 innings (13.5%) 3. Engarshal Sinnaraja — 3 ducks / 5 innings (60.0%) 4. Tim Wright — 3 ducks / 10 innings (30.0%) 5. Adam Jackson — 3 ducks / 17 innings (17.7%) Darrell leads the Duck of the Year race, though Engarshal's alarming 60% strike rate says nobody's safe yet. Next fixtures beckon — pad up if you dare, the ducks always find someone. 🦆🍩

Six fixtures, seven ducks, and the honours board didn't so much creak as fully groan under the weight of new arrivals. On with the ceremony. Saturday 12 August 1st XI at Horsmonden CC — James Piper opened his account for the wrong reasons, ct Dave Rayment b T Mash off just 2 balls. His 1st duck of the season and 17th of a long career draws him level with Clive Newman, who plied his trade 1992–2012 and also settled on 17 — the pair now sit neighbours in the all-time table at 78th and 80th. A quietly duck-prone household, this one, with a brother and a father both carrying career tallies of their own. Lewis Burnham followed him back for 3 balls, ct Thomas Cobb b T Mash, his 3rd of the season and 11th career — level with Andrew Moss (1968–2008), fellow member of the Retirement Duck club, though nobody's suggesting Lewis is packing it in just yet. 2nd XI v Linden Park CC — Tobey Castle, ct Jayaprakash Seluthiyan b Sam Grand, his 2nd of the season and 10th career, joins Jack Jenner (2003–2008) on the same mark. Kin note: father David Castle carries 47 career ducks of his own — clearly the apple hasn't fallen far. Sunday 13 August — Sunday 2nd XI at Sturry CC Richard Piper, ct David Gentry b Tom Clifton, his 3rd of the season but a mighty 78th career duck — 6th on the all-time list, a Full House member, and a fixture of the Lone Duck, Homebody Duck and Ducks on the Road top tens. On this very day in 1960, Pat Hardwick was doing the same thing against Bowaters CC en route to that year's Duck of the Year crown. Worth noting: brother James also strolled for nought this week, at Horsmonden the day before — a fine weekend for the Piper name on the wrong side of the scorebook. Luke Welsman, b Robert Goddard, opened his week's account — 4th of the season, 24th career, level with Tim Wright (2004–2017). Thursday 17 August — Midweek XI v Band of Brothers CC Luke Welsman returned four days later and completed the set: b C Williams, 5th of the season and 25th career — a grim pair for the week. A three-time Duck of the Year (2015, 2016 and very much in contention again this season), Luke also sits agonisingly one position shy of the Full House on the nearly-man list. On this day in 1969, Percy Brattle made his own duck against Mote A on the way to that season's Duck of the Year title. Harrison Fermor, b M Churchill batting at 8, chalked up his 1st of the season and 2nd career duck, level with Alan Probert (2008–2009). A paid-up Debutante Duck club member from an earlier innings, and with a young relative already on the club's books, the family tradition looks safe in his hands. Week in Summary Seven ducks from six matches — a tidy little haul, headlined by Luke Welsman's grim weekly pair and a two-for-one week for the Piper household. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Darrell Houghton-Judge — 5 ducks, 20 innings, 25.0% 2. Luke Welsman — 5 ducks, 34 innings, 14.71% 3. Engarshal Sinnaraja — 3 ducks, 5 innings, 60.0% 4. Tim Wright — 3 ducks, 9 innings, 33.33% 5. Adam Jackson — 3 ducks, 16 innings, 18.75% Luke Welsman shares top spot on ducks but Darrell Houghton-Judge holds the efficiency edge — the race is on. See you all at the crease next week, ducks and all. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A quieter week in the exclusive zero club — just three ducks fell across five fixtures — but what the harvest lacked in quantity it made up for in a proper grim double from one repeat offender. Saturday — 2nd XI away at Chevening Amblers CC Luke Welsman got the weekend's account open, bowled by Andrew Sharp from number 3 for his 2nd duck of the season and 22nd of an increasingly distinguished career — rank 62 of 1461 all time. He now sits level on 22 with LPCC stalwart Alan Boyns, who racked up his across a marathon 219 innings between 1986 and 2016. A paid-up Debutante Duck (yes, his very first Linton innings was a blob too) and a three-time Duck of the Year honouree (2015, 2016 and now defending in 2017), Luke also lingers agonisingly on the Full House nearly-man board, having ducked at 10 of the 11 batting positions. Position 11 awaits. Tuesday — Midweek XI at home to Bexley CC Three days was not enough to shake off the habit. Luke Welsman was back at the crease and back in the book, bowled by Murtaza Abbas from number 4 — his 3rd duck of the season, 23rd of his career, and, crucially, his second in four days. A proper pair for the week, one at Chevening and one against Bexley — the kind of consistency the club solemnly applauds rather than questions. Fittingly, on this very date back in 1998, club legend Richard Piper was also making his way back to the pavilion for nought, a reminder that August has form for this sort of thing. Sunday — Sunday 2nd XI away at Kennington CC, Kent Stuart Campbell edged behind, caught Chris Drakeley off David Finch from number 7, for his 2nd duck of the season and 3rd of his career in just 17 innings — rank 275 of 1461. He draws level on career ducks with Charles Curteis, who reached the same tally across 2016 and 2017. Stuart also carries the Retirement Duck honour from a past farewell innings — an old badge, not a comment on Sunday's effort, which we fully expect him to shrug off next weekend. Week in summary Three ducks from five matches, and the headline act was undoubtedly Luke Welsman's midweek pair — Saturday and Tuesday, two different bowlers, one familiar walk back to the shed. The Duck of the Year race for 2017 remains firmly his to lose. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Darrell Houghton-Judge — 5 ducks / 18 innings (27.78%) 2. Engarshal Sinnaraja — 3 ducks / 5 innings (60.0%) 3. Tim Wright — 3 ducks / 8 innings (37.5%) 4. Adam Jackson — 3 ducks / 15 innings (20.0%) 5. Jordan Austin — 3 ducks / 16 innings (18.75%) Next fixtures loom, the zeroes await their next recruits — bring your bats, gentlemen, and try not to add to the tally 🏏0️⃣🦆

Slim pickings this week from a single fixture, but two names went quietly into the book against Chelsfield Park CC, and one of them in the most abject fashion the club has to offer. 🏏 Sunday 2nd XI — Chelsfield Park CC (home) Jordan Austin opened up and opened his account for the wrong reasons, bowled by Jeremy Carrett. It's his 3rd duck of the season and 19th for his career from 127 innings, edging him to 71st of 1460 in the all-time table — a name that sits comfortably in both the Homebody Duck top 10 and the Lone Duck top 10, a man who seemingly can't avoid nought whether he travels or stays put. On this very day back in 1997, Fred Cheesman was doing exactly the same thing against Ipswich Greyhounds CC on the Kent Tour XI, one stop on a career (1980–2004) that yielded 42 ducks and the No.20 all-time ranking. Some family form on show too — brother Benjamin Austin already carries 8 career ducks of his own, so the Austin household is no stranger to the walk back. Then, at No.10, Martin Harris delivered the week's showpiece — first ball, bowled by Pritesh, gone without troubling the scorers. A proper golden duck, the purest form of the art. It's his 2nd of the season and 25th of his career from 144 innings, good for 54th of 1460 all-time, and a paid-up former Duck of the Year champion from 2011. He now sits level on the career tally with Dave Charlton, who racked up his 25 across 219 innings between 1988 and 2009 — Martin got there in considerably fewer, which either speaks to efficiency or to a shorter fuse against the new ball. Notably, this is a family that knows its way around a nought — relative Jon Harris carries a frankly enormous 93 career ducks, making Martin's contribution look almost restrained by comparison. 📊 Week in Summary One match, two ducks, no pairs, no family doubles this time round — a comparatively civilised weekend for the exclusive zero club, though Martin's golden effort was quality over quantity. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Darrell Houghton-Judge — 5 ducks / 18 innings (27.78%) 2. Engarshal Sinnaraja — 3 ducks / 5 innings (60.00%) 3. Tim Wright — 3 ducks / 8 innings (37.5%) 4. Adam Jackson — 3 ducks / 14 innings (21.43%) 5. Jordan Austin — 3 ducks / 15 innings (20.00%) Engarshal Sinnaraja continues to boast the most alarming strike rate in the division, converting 60% of innings into noughts — genuinely elite work in the art of not scoring. 🦆 Next fixture awaits, and with it, fresh opportunities for triumph through adversity. The ducks never truly go away — they just wait for their next hosts. See you at the crease.

Rare and unwelcome news from the LPCC scorebooks this week: the ducks evaded capture entirely. Three matches played. Three matches in which every single batsman found their way off the mark. Not a golden duck, not a pair, not so much as a solitary nought to report across the whole weekend. The Duck Club's finest hunters were out in force and came home empty-handed. 🏏 A Quiet Weekend for the Zero Club Somewhere, the exclusive zero club is feeling rather neglected. No new entries to the honours board, no milestones ticked over, no near-misses on 1 to torment anyone with what-might-have-been. Frankly, it's the kind of weekend that makes a Duck correspondent wonder if there's any news at all worth filing — and yet here we are, filing it anyway, because a blank ledger is still a ledger. Spare a thought for the season's usual suspects, presumably out there middling everything in sight while the Duck Club twiddles its thumbs. Rest assured, normal service — by which we mean abnormal, scoreless, gloriously ignominious service — is expected to resume shortly. The art of not scoring is a skill that rarely stays dormant for long at Linton Park. 📊 Week in Summary - Matches played: 3 - Ducks recorded: 0 🍩 - Pairs, king pairs, or family ducks: none — a clean sheet all round - Correspondent's mood: mildly bereft 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 2017 1. Darrell Houghton-Judge — 5 ducks from 17 innings (29.41%) 2. Engarshal Sinnaraja — 3 ducks from 5 innings (60.0%) 3. Tim Wright — 3 ducks from 8 innings (37.5%) 4. Adam Jackson — 3 ducks from 14 innings (21.43%) 5. Craig Sands — 3 ducks from 16 innings (18.75%) Engarshal continues to boast the most eye-watering strike rate of the summer at a staggering 60%, though Darrell still leads on raw volume. Plenty of season left for either to pull away — or for a fresh face to come steaming through the pack. 📅 Looking Ahead Don't let this quiet spell fool you — 0️⃣ is always just one indeterminate LBW shout away. With more fixtures on the horizon, the Duck Club awaits its next inductees with open arms and a suitably solemn round of applause. Bring your bats, gentlemen. Or don't. Either way, we'll be watching. 🦆

A quieter weekend for the club's exclusive zero club, but quality over quantity as ever — three ducks harvested from four matches, and one of them arrives with proper pedigree. Saturday — 2nd XI v Sissinghurst CC (away) Matthew Gladwell walked in at four and walked straight back out again, bowled first ball by Tony Reader for a golden duck 🥇0️⃣ — his maiden duck of the season but a well-practised 5th career nought from 35 innings, sitting 183rd of 1460 in the all-time roll. He now sits level on 5 with Harry Bee, who racked his up between 2008 and 2012 in just 31 innings and left the game a fully paid-up member of the Debutante Duck, Quack-to-Quack and Retirement Duck honours boards. Gladwell's own honours cabinet remains bare for now — plenty of time yet. Sunday — 1st XI v Tyler Hill CC (home) Joshua Knowler offered no resistance whatsoever, bowled by Adam Arnold without scoring — another golden duck, his 2nd of the season and a genuinely serious 25th of a long and distinguished career across 185 innings, good for 53rd all time. Knowler barely needs introducing to this newsletter: a Diamond Duck laureate from 2015 (out without facing a ball), Duck of the Year in 2010, and even the subject of a "Quacked by Kin" citation courtesy of Andrew Knowler that same year. It clearly runs in the family — his own relative Richard Knowler carries 12 career ducks of his own. Joshua now draws level on 25 with club stalwart Dave Charlton, who reached the same mark across 219 innings between 1988 and 2009. Sunday — 2nd XI v Cobham CC, Kent (away) Darrell Houghton-Judge was run out by Callen Fahey for nought, his 5th duck of this season and 18th of a career now standing at 87 innings — 72nd on the all-time list, and a proud "Full House nearly-man," having now ducked in 10 of the 11 batting positions with presumably one left to complete the set. He draws level on 18 with Ian Hollingworth (2004–2017, 79 innings) — but the real headline is that this very duck plants Darrell firmly atop this season's Duck Hunting leaderboard. Three ducks, four matches, two golden and one run out for variety's sake — the art of not scoring remains alive and well at Linton Park. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏆 - Darrell Houghton-Judge — 5 ducks/16 inns (31.25%) - Engarshal Sinnaraja — 3 ducks/5 inns (60.0%) - Tim Wright — 3 ducks/8 inns (37.5%) - Adam Jackson — 3 ducks/14 inns (21.43%) - Craig Sands — 3 ducks/16 inns (18.75%) Darrell now holds a healthy lead in the race for Duck of the Year — can anyone catch him before the season's out? Next round of fixtures awaits, and the ducks, as ever, are only ever one dodgy lbw shout away. See you at the crease 🦆🏏

Five fixtures, six ducks, and a rare family occasion to lead the bill. The exclusive zero club welcomes its latest inductees. Saturday 8th July – 2nd XI v Four Elms CC Four ducks fell in a single home innings, headlined by the Karassellos family doing their bit for the honours board. John Karassellos was bowled by W Levett for his 2nd career duck — 1st of the season — a paid-up member of the Ducks in a Row club (five consecutive) and a Full House nearly-man, one position shy of completing the set. Moments later his child Anthony followed him out, bowled by Damian Conlin, first ball of a first-ever innings and straight into the Debutante Duck club. Two Karassellos ducks in one innings makes this a proper Duck and Ducklings occasion — the rarest ceremony the club offers, and a family outing for all the wrong reasons. Elsewhere in the carnage, Tim Wright fell early for his 3rd duck of the season, bowled by Justin Sharp, taking him to 24 career ducks and 58th on the all-time list — level with Joshua Knowler (2008–2017), who reached the same tally in 183 innings and once claimed Duck of the Year in 2010. Fred Taylor rounded things off, caught Grierson bowled Conlin for his 2nd duck from just 2 career innings, a paid-up Debutante Duck club member whose sibling George keeps him company on two apiece. Wednesday 12th July – Midweek XI v Lord Cornwallis XI Benjamin Austin was caught Deveson bowled Hill for his 2nd duck of the season, moving to 8 career ducks — level with Carl Davis (1994–2009), who needed 41 innings to get there. Benjamin's sibling Jordan already has 18 to his name, so the duck-making runs in the family. Sunday 9th July – Sunday 2nd XI v Bobbing Court and Lower Halstow CC Stuart Campbell was bowled by Paul Dennington for his 2nd career duck. On this very day back in 1994, club great Simon Thirkell — 59 ducks, three-time Duck of the Year and Runaway Duck laureate of 2006 — was doing precisely the same thing against Horton Kirby CC. Some traditions never die. Week in summary Six ducks across five matches, four of them arriving in the same Four Elms innings — noughts, like buses, evidently travel in convoys. The undoubted highlight was Linton Park's Duck and Ducklings double from the Karassellos clan, a shared-bloodline duck being about as rare and glorious as this club's honours board gets. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏆 1. Darrell Houghton-Judge — 4 ducks / 14 inns (28.57%) 2. Engarshal Sinnaraja — 3 ducks / 5 inns (60.0%) 3. Tim Wright — 3 ducks / 7 inns (42.86%) 4. Adam Jackson — 3 ducks / 13 inns (23.08%) 5. Craig Sands — 3 ducks / 15 inns (20.0%) Tim Wright is now both making headlines and climbing the season charts — worth keeping an eye on him. Fixtures continue apace, and the ducks won't catch themselves. See you next week for the next instalment of the art of not scoring. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A five-match week and, gloriously, the ducks turned up on schedule. Five noughts recorded, spread across the club from Linton to Sydney. Yes, Sydney. More on that shortly. 🏏 1st XI — Meopham CC, Saturday A quackers arrangement at Meopham saw the top order surrender in tandem. Craig Sands, at four, went lbw to Jon Pollard for his 3rd duck of the season and 27th of an increasingly distinguished career spanning 454 innings — rank 44 of 1457 all time. That tally draws him level with Will Thirkell, who took a rather more economical 218 innings to reach the same 27 across his 2008–2017 stint. Efficiency, Craig, is clearly optional. Hot on his heels came Will Thew, bowled by Adam Roxburgh for his 2nd of the season and 25th career duck from 184 innings, rank 54. A paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club and a former Duck of the Year in 2012, Will now sits shoulder to shoulder with Dave Charlton (1988–2009), also on 25. 🏏 2nd XI — Meopham CC, Saturday Not to be left out, Tim Wright edged behind, Mick Clark completing the formalities off Darren Deeks, for his 2nd duck of the season and 23rd of his career in 303 innings — rank 62 of 1457. He now stands level with Brian Piper, who required 444 innings across 1973–2013 to post the same total. A chip off the old block, too — his relative Adam Wright already carries 6 career ducks of his own. 🌱 Midweek XI — Home and Away Wednesday's fixture against Sevenoaks & District Wednesday CC claimed Oliver Holdstock, caught Graham Nicholls off Ashwani Arora, for his 1st duck of the season and 2nd of his career from just 9 innings. That puts him alongside Alan Probert, who achieved the same feat — 2 ducks in 2 innings, a flawless 100% record — across his brief 2008–2009 career, complete with matching Debutante and Retirement Duck honours. Oliver has time yet to avoid the second half of that comparison. Then, remarkably, the Duck Club went international. Touring at Randwick Petersham in Sydney, Jordan Austin fell to Josh Mellick for his 2nd duck of the season and 18th of his career in 122 innings, rank 74 of 1457. A Homebody and Lone Duck top-10 fixture normally, Jordan has rather undermined the "homebody" tag with this one. He now joins Ian Hollingworth (2004–2017) on 18, though Ian needed only 79 innings to get there. Kin-wise, Jordan keeps distinguished company, with sibling Benjamin Austin sitting on 7 career ducks and father Mark Austin carrying 1. 📊 Week in Summary Five ducks from five matches, evenly spread across three sides, and one of them recorded on the other side of the world. No pairs, no king pairs, no family affairs this week — just steady, dependable failure to trouble the scorers. Craig Sands' latest effort also keeps him firmly inside the season's top five. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Darrell Houghton-Judge — 4 ducks in 13 innings (30.77%) 2. Engarshal Sinnaraja — 3 ducks in 4 innings (75.0%) 3. Adam Jackson — 3 ducks in 13 innings (23.08%) 4. Craig Sands — 3 ducks in 15 innings (20.0%) 5. Russell Dack — 2 ducks in 3 innings (66.67%) Engarshal's 75% strike rate remains the stuff of legend, and Craig Sands is quietly building a case for a late-season surge. 🦆 Fixtures continue apace, and the club's finest purveyors of the golden goose egg will doubtless be back in action. Bring your bats, gentlemen — or don't bother, the scorebook barely notices either way. See you all next week.

Eleven ducks across five fixtures this weekend — the exclusive zero club has been busy recruiting. 🏏 Saturday 1st XI v Shipbourne CC (h): Daniel Thirkell fell for his 2nd of the season and 29th career duck (rank 40/1457, a paid-up Tourist Duck top 10 member) — on this very day in 1975 Ian Brattle (1973–2008, 51 ducks) also made a duck, against Leybourne CC. Ryan Boyns followed for 4 balls, his 13th career nought (rank 95), level with Joe Martin (2004–2016, 13 in 86 innings) — a Boyns family trade, with dad Alan on 22 and brother Sam on 7. 2nd XI v Limpsfield Chart CC (a): Peter Davies edged behind for his 3rd career duck (rank 265), joining Charles Curteis (2016–17, 3 in 14 innings) in the club. 🌱 Sunday 1st XI v Smarden CC (a): Russell Dack was bowled for his 2nd of the season, 5th career (rank 187) — level with Harry Bee (2008–12, 5 in 31). 2nd XI v Pett CC (h): Ian Hollingworth was caught for his 18th career duck (rank 72), matching Russell Baldwin (1988–2006, 18 in 208). Toby Fermor announced himself in the grandest style available — bowled for nought in his very first senior innings, straight onto the Debutante Duck honours board; on this day in 1978 Malcolm Pay made the same entrance against Marden. Mardey Castle ran himself out for his maiden career duck (rank 594), a chip off two blocks — father David on 47, brother Tobey on 9 — and, like Toby, has 1978 for company, the same Malcolm Pay having ducked on this exact date. NVKC v Horndon On The Hill CC (a): Adam Jackson departed off 7 balls, his 3rd of the season and 21st career (rank 66), level with Dave Todd (1978–2014, 21 in 235) — brother Rob carries 13 of his own. Benjamin Austin holed out for his 7th career duck (rank 147), joining Mike Caddick (1993–2009, 7 in 127). Joshua Knowler was stumped for his 24th career nought (rank 55), matching Martin Harris (2009–17, 24 in 138). And Thomas Beeney departed without troubling the bowler for a single ball — a Diamond Duck for 2017 — his 2nd of the season and 35th career (rank 29), level with Matthew Carter (2002–17, 35 in 266). 📊 The Week: 11 ducks from 5 matches — Horndon On The Hill alone accounted for four, evidently no respecters of Linton's top order. No pairs, no king pairs, no family affairs this round — just honest, unassisted failure spread generously across the club. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Darrell Houghton-Judge — 4 ducks, 10 inns (40%) 2. Engarshal Sinnaraja — 3 ducks, 4 inns (75%) 3. Adam Jackson — 3 ducks, 11 inns (27%) 4. Russell Dack — 2 ducks, 3 inns (67%) 5. Will Thirkell — 2 ducks, 5 inns (40%) Next fixtures await, gentlemen — the exclusive zero club always has room for new members. 🍩0️⃣🦆

Four fixtures, five ducks, and the Club's exclusive zero club welcomed a mixed bag of veterans and freshly-initiated members this weekend. Saturday 17 June 1st XI away at Bearsted CC: Craig Sands departed for nought at number two, caught behind off Alex Lush after seeing off six deliveries — no golden duck shame here, just a fair fight lost. It's Craig's 2nd of the season and his 26th career duck, sitting him at a lofty 46th in the all-time charts. He now shares that tally with Kevin Presneill, who played 2001-2017 across 283 innings and picked up a Diamond Duck of his own during the 2017 season — out without facing a ball. Craig, mercifully, cannot claim that particular indignity. 2nd XI at home to Betsham CC: club stalwart Richard Piper opened the innings and closed it almost as fast, bowled by Kieran Wells for his 2nd duck of the season. This is Richard's 77th career nought, keeping him a commanding 6th on the all-time list, a name forever enshrined for Duck of the Year 2003 and a Full House of ducks at every batting position 1 to 11 — a truly complete body of work. He's not doing it alone either: father Brian Piper carries 23 career ducks and brother James Piper 16, a proper family trade in nought-scoring. On this very day in 1997, Adrian Caddick was doing much the same against Maidstone Teachers. Sunday 18 June 1st XI at home to Detling CC: Thuraiappah Pushpavinothan became acquainted with the Duck Club for the first time, bowled by Luke Garety after five balls of defiance. His maiden nought, and on this same date in 1961, Robert Murray was suffering an identical fate against Halfway House. 2nd XI away at Frittenden CC produced a brace. Nuradha Amarakoon fell to Phil Crafter for his first career duck, keeping Robert Murray's 1961 ghost good company on the same calendar date. And at number eleven, Engarshal Sinnaraja was trapped lbw by Niclas Rodreigo for his 3rd duck of the season already — from just four innings, a heroic strike rate of failure. He joins Charles Curteis, who reached the same 3-duck tally across 12 innings in 2016-17, on level terms in the record books. The week in numbers Five ducks across four matches — a tidy weekend's harvest, with the Piper and Sands names doing the heavy lifting for the senior sides while the Sunday ranks broke in two new faces to the club's most dubious honour. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Darrell Houghton-Judge — 4 ducks in 8 innings (50%) 2. Engarshal Sinnaraja — 3 ducks in 4 innings (75%) 3. Will Thirkell — 2 ducks in 4 innings (50%) 4. Matthew Carter — 2 ducks in 6 innings (33%) 5. Nat Presneill — 2 ducks in 7 innings (29%) Engarshal leads the percentage race by some distance — can anyone catch him before the season's out? See you next weekend, when the zero club will no doubt be recruiting again. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Four fixtures out on the paddock this weekend and the Zero Club banked three new entries into the ledger, all the damage arriving on Sunday while the rest of the club, oddly, kept its collective eye in. Sunday 1st XI v Challock CC Martin Harris strode out at first drop and was back in the pavilion b James Isard before the tea urn had boiled — his first duck of the summer and the 24th of an increasingly distinguished LPCC career, a career that already carries a Duck of the Year gong from 2011. That 24 puts him 55th of 1456 in the all-time table, level for company with Will Thew (2009–2017, 178 innings), himself a Duck of the Year alumnus from 2012. Keep it in the family too — Martin's kin Jon Harris has quietly stacked up 93 career noughts of his own, so an eye for the art of not scoring evidently runs in the blood. Sunday 2nd XI v Rainham (Kent) CC A brace at Rainham. Engarshal Sinnaraja fell b Oliver Lea for his second duck of the season from just three innings — a fearsome 67% strike rate for entirely the wrong statistic — drawing him level with Will Thirkell for second in the current season standings, just behind pacesetter Darrell Houghton-Judge's four. He joins Alan Probert (2008–2009) on the same career tally of two, a man whose two ducks in two innings earned him both a Debutante Duck and a Retirement Duck in short order — Engarshal will fancy improving on that particular double. Batting at nine, Michael Wilson-Pestell marked his LPCC arrival with a duck first ball out of the traps — sorry, first innings, full stop — b Luke Fewsdale. A proper club welcome: Debutante Duck secured on debut, One and Done ticked off for a 2017 career currently standing at one innings and one duck, and Retirement Duck logged too, on the standing theory that presumes today the last word. The Duck Club will be only too delighted to be proved wrong. He joins "- Howard" (2006), whose entire senior career likewise amounted to a single innings and a single nought. The remaining two fixtures of the weekend came home with a clean sheet — a rare outbreak of competence the Duck Club notes with mild suspicion. Three ducks from four matches, then, with Rainham (Kent) doing the double and Sunday carrying the whole weekend's harvest. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 - Darrell Houghton-Judge — 4 ducks, 7 innings (57%) - Engarshal Sinnaraja — 2 ducks, 3 innings (67%) - Will Thirkell — 2 ducks, 3 innings (67%) - Matthew Carter — 2 ducks, 5 innings (40%) - Nat Presneill — 2 ducks, 6 innings (33%) Next weekend's fixtures beckon, and the exclusive zero club keeps its doors wide open. Bring your bat, bring your nerve, and may the umpire's finger find someone new. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Four fixtures out for Linton Park this weekend, and the zero club welcomed four new entries between them — though two matches, rather rudely, sent everybody home with runs against their name instead. No matter. Here's where it mattered. Saturday — 1st XI away at Plaxtol CC Kevin Presneill fell lbw to Dan Beynon at five, his 2nd duck of the season and 26th of an increasingly decorated career, rank 46 of 1453 all-time and level with Paul Brattle, who played 1969–2008 and reached the same 26 in 308 innings. Kevin's also a paid-up name on this year's Diamond Duck roll, out without facing a ball at some point in the 2017 campaign — consistency of a very particular kind. Batting at 11, Matthew Carter was bowled by James Holliday for his 2nd of the season and 35th career duck, moving to 27th on the all-time list. A Debutante Duck himself and Duck of the Year back in 2004, Matthew keeps fine company — on this very day in 1967, Alan Cridland made a duck of his own against Tovil Nomads CC. Sunday — 1st XI away at Stowting CC Stuart Graham did the damage twice over. Jordan Austin walked out and walked straight back, golden ducked first ball at number three — his 1st duck of the season, 17th of his career, 79th on the all-time list, and a season entry on both the Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens. He joins Clive Newman, who played 1992–2012 across 371 innings, level on 17. Jordan bats in illustrious company off the field too — sibling Benjamin owns 6 career ducks and son Mark has 1 of his own, a family with a shared talent for the art of not scoring. Next in was Will Thirkell, who survived two balls before also succumbing to Graham — his 2nd duck of the season, 27th of his career, 44th all-time. Will carries duck royalty in his blood — Tim Thirkell (93, the club's all-time #2), John Thirkell (90), father Nigel Thirkell (60), Simon Thirkell (59) and sibling Daniel Thirkell (28) among them — proof that some families simply specialise. On this day in 1981, Malcolm Pay was doing much the same against YMCA Maidstone. The Week in Noughts Four ducks from four matches, with one bowler, Stuart Graham, accounting for two batsmen in the same innings. The other two fixtures were, frustratingly, entirely duck-free. Standards, evidently, are slipping elsewhere. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🏆 - Darrell Houghton-Judge — 4 ducks in 6 innings (66.67%) - Will Thirkell — 2 ducks in 3 innings (66.67%) - Kevin Presneill — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40.0%) - Matthew Carter — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40.0%) - Nat Presneill — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40.0%) Darrell sets the pace, but with small sample sizes propping up that 66.67%, this race is far from settled. Roll on next weekend — the ducks, as ever, are out there. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Four fixtures, eight ducks, one man daft enough to bag two. 🏏 Saturday — 1st XI v Penshurst Park CC (away) Lewis Burnham fell at 4, caught Williams b David Smith — his 2nd of the season, 10th career, 119th all-time, level with Jack Jenner (2003–2008). A Retirement Duck alumnus from a past farewell, but very much still opening his account week to week. Adam Jackson followed, caught Elliott b Smith — 1st of the season, 19th career, 70th all-time. On this day in 2006, Simon Thirkell made exactly the same trip against Sheldwich CC. Adam wasn't finished for the weekend — more below. 🏏 Saturday — 2nd XI v Fordcombe CC (home) Glen Rawson, caught Byrne b Max O'Collins, opened and shut just as fast — 1st of the season, 15th career, 86th all-time, keeping Simon Thirkell's 2006 company too. Brother Iain sits on 16 career ducks of his own — clearly hereditary. 🌱 Sunday — 2nd XI v Borstal CC (home) Tobey Castle (b Porter, #5) — 1st of the season, 9th career, 129th all-time, level with Jack Gwynn (2011–2017). Father David Castle carries 47 of his own. Tim Wright (b Tingley, #9) — 22nd career duck, level with Alan Boyns (1986–2016), owner of his own Diamond Duck from 1990. Son Adam has 6 already. Thisal Perera (ct & b Tippett, #11) — 4th career duck from just 10 innings, joining Matthew Ward (2011–2012). Already a paid-up Debutante Duck member from a previous innings, so no fresh honours here. 🦆 Sunday — NVKC v Bidborough CC (home) Will Thirkell survived five balls before edging behind off Dale Hillhouse — 1st of the season, 26th career, 47th all-time, level with Paul Brattle (1969–2008). The Thirkell name already fills several top-ten all-time duck spots, so Will's just upholding the family business. And here's Adam Jackson again — lbw first ball off Hillhouse, a proper golden duck, completing his weekend pair. 2nd of the season, 20th career. On this day in 1928, Bert Buckoke did much the same against Bearsted CC. 📊 Week in Summary Eight ducks, four matches, and Adam Jackson the weekend's stand-out for all the wrong reasons — a regulation nought on Saturday followed by a golden duck on Sunday. No family duck ceremonies this week, but the Thirkell dynasty flew the flag regardless. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Darrell Houghton-Judge — 4/6 (67%) 2. Nat Presneill — 2/4 (50%) 3. Adam Jackson — 2/7 (29%) 4. Lewis Burnham — 2/7 (29%) 5. Dave Richardson — 1/1 (100%) Roll on next weekend — the zero club never sleeps, and there's always room for new members. 🦆🍩

Four fixtures this weekend and six batsmen answered the call of the void, adding their names to the club's ever-growing register of dubious distinction. Let's have them. Saturday — 1st XI v Sissinghurst CC (h) Richard Knowler departed for a duck at seven, b Reuben Collingwood — his first of the campaign and 12th of a career now 137 innings deep, sat 104th in the all-time table. He pulls level on career ducks with Gareth Davies (2003–2013), a fellow member of the exclusive twelve club, and it's worth noting Richard's own kin are represented too — his relative Joshua Knowler already carries 23 career noughts, so the trait clearly runs in the family. Then came Thomas Beeney, ct Nick Chambers b Stephen Brown at nine, his 34th career duck from 205 innings, 30th on the all-time list. Thomas is already a fully paid-up honours-board man — a Debutante Duck from way back, a 2017 Diamond Duck, reigning-ish Duck of the Year 2014, and a top-ten fixture on the Ducks on the Road list — and he now sits level on 34 with Matthew Carter, still an active accumulator himself. Saturday — 2nd XI v Locksbottom CC (a) Darrell Houghton-Judge was bowled by Paul Stachini for his fourth duck of the season already, taking him to 17 for his career and 76th on the all-time roll — level with the well-travelled Clive Newman (1992–2012). At 80% for the season per the leaderboard below, Darrell is having quite the summer of the art of not scoring, and remains a "Full House nearly-man" with just one position left to complete the set. Charles Curteis followed him back, caught Scott Stachini bowled Paul Stachini, his maiden season strike this year and third of a young career spanning just ten innings — level with Daniel McCarthy (2006–2007) on the same tally. Sunday — 2nd XI v Sissinghurst CC (a) A quieter yield but a landmark one. Dave Richardson marked his very first senior innings with a golden entry into the zero club — bowled by Angus Knowler for a debut duck. Straight onto three boards in one afternoon: Debutante Duck, Retirement Duck, and the poignant "One and Done (2017)" — a career, so far, of exactly one duck. On this very day back in 1956, John --'s Taylor was doing precisely the same thing against Marden CC, Kent. Engarshal Sinnaraja joined him in the column, bowled by Thirag Patel at ten, his maiden club duck from two innings — also sharing that 1956 on-this-day company with John --'s Taylor. Week in Summary Six ducks, four matches, and honours spread evenly across both the 1st and 2nd XIs — Sunday's lot keeping it in the family of newcomers while Saturday belonged to the seasoned campaigners. No pairs, no golden double king ducks and no family affairs this week, but Darrell Houghton-Judge is quietly building a case for Duck of the Year with four already banked. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Darrell Houghton-Judge — 5 innings, 4 ducks, 80% - Nat Presneill — 3 innings, 2 ducks, 66.67% - Dave Richardson — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Fred Taylor — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Russell Dack — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% The season is well and truly under way and the zero club shows no signs of thinning its membership. Next fixture, same story — who'll be walking back before troubling the scorers this time? 🏏🍩0️⃣

A cracking start to the weekend for the exclusive zero club, with four fixtures on the go and the ducks proving very much in season. Nine new visits to the club across Saturday and Sunday — let's get into it. 🏏 Saturday — 1st XI v Bidborough CC (away) Kevin Presneill opened the weekend's account at first drop, caught Andy Healy off Dale Hillhouse. Season duck #1, but his 25th career nought from 278 innings — good enough for 51st on the all-time list, level with Craig Sands, who took a 444-innings career (2002–2017) to reach the same mark. Kevin's also a paid-up member of this year's Diamond Duck club. Keep his surname in mind — there's more Presneill to come. 🏏 Saturday — 2nd XI v Sissinghurst CC (home) Nat Presneill got things moving, caught Philip Buckingham off Tony Reader. Jack Gwynn followed, bowled Tony Reader, his 9th career duck from 50 innings drawing him level with Lewis Burnham (2009–2017, 98 innings) at 128th all-time. Then Darrell Houghton-Judge, bowled Peter Smith, notched his 2nd of the season — a man still agonisingly one position shy of the Full House (10 of 11 positions and counting). Little did Nat or Darrell know they'd be back at the crease again within 24 hours. 🌱 Sunday — 2nd XI v Cowdrey CC (away) A proper procession at Cowdrey — five ducks in a single innings. Luke Welsman fell first, caught Xavier Yeats-Brown bowled Digby Russell, his 21st career duck (84 innings, 66th all-time) — level company with Allan Cooper, who made his own nought against High Halstow on this very day back in 1978. Luke's already stacked three straight Duck of the Year crowns (2015–2017), so the trophy cabinet barely notices another. Russell Dack (b Xavier Yeats-Brown) and Anton Bourdillon (st Barney Scott b Gautam Juneja) both opened their season tallies — 4th career ducks apiece from just 7 innings, brisk strike rates for entirely the wrong reasons, and both keeping Allan Cooper's 1978 company too. Then the weekend specialists sealed their pairs: Nat Presneill (b Xavier Yeats-Brown) completed a grim Saturday-to-Sunday double — season duck #2, 21st career nought — and Darrell Houghton-Judge (b Xavier Yeats-Brown) matched him stride for stride, season duck #3 and 16th career, both achieving the pair inside 24 hours flat. 📋 Week in Summary Nine ducks from four fixtures, with Cowdrey's attack doing the heavy lifting — five in one innings alone. Two members, Nat Presneill and Darrell Houghton-Judge, banked the rare weekend pair. And spare a thought for the Presneill household — Kevin and Nat both walked back for nought within a day of each other, though not quite in the same match to earn the club's family honours. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Darrell Houghton-Judge — 3 ducks in 3 innings (100%) - Nat Presneill — 2 in 2 (100%) - Fred Taylor — 1 in 1 (100%) - Jack Gwynn — 1 in 1 (100%) - Russell Dack — 1 in 1 (100%) Next fixture looms, and with it, more names for the honours board. Get your bats ready — or don't, the Duck Club always finds a way. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Three fixtures, five ducks, and the 2017 season's Duck Club is already stretching its wings. Here's who joined the exclusive zero club this weekend. 🏏 Saturday — 1st XI v Four Elms CC (h) Daniel Thirkell fell for nought at first drop, caught James Mulvey bowled Robert Richards — his first duck of the campaign and 28th of a career now 459 innings deep, good enough to keep him lodged in the Tourist Duck top 10. He joins Christopher Thirkell (1998–2015, 157 innings) on exactly 28, which barely dents the family ledger — Tim (93), John (90), Nigel (60) and Simon (59) Thirkell already loom large over the honours board. Consistency, it seems, runs in the blood. Matthew Carter departed run out for 0 at number ten, his 34th career duck from 260 innings. A card-carrying Debutante Duck member and Duck of the Year in 2004, he now sits shoulder to shoulder with Gordon Fenner, who reached the same 34 across 1941–1973 in 238 innings. The art of not scoring, evidently, does not respect the decades. 🏏 Saturday — 2nd XI v Four Elms CC (a) Darrell Houghton-Judge was bowled by Raymond Hlatshwayo for nought at five, his 14th career duck in 72 innings — cruelly keeping him on the Full House nearly-man list, ten of eleven positions ducked and counting. He draws level with Glen Rawson (2005–2017, 268 innings), also parked on 14. Fred Taylor made the most inauspicious of first appearances, caught Gareth Tomlinson bowled Jon Pike for a golden entry onto the honours board at number nine — his very first innings, and already a fully paid-up Debutante Duck. He joins - Howard on precisely 1 career duck, a name from 2006 who never played again, filed under One and Done and Retirement Duck. Fred, mercifully, has years ahead to add company to that lonely total — and with brother George already carrying 2 career ducks of his own, the family knack may run deeper yet. 🌱 Sunday — 1st XI v Beckenham CC (h) Will Thew was bowled by James Jones for nought at first wicket down, his 24th career duck from 173 innings. Another Debutante Duck alumnus and Duck of the Year back in 2012, he now sits level with Kevin Presneill, who reached the same 24 across 2001–2017 in 277 innings — and who this very season added a Diamond Duck of his own, out without facing a ball. Will's effort, at least, involved seeing one. 📊 Week in Summary Five ducks from three matches — a gentle opening skirmish rather than a full assault, with every ducker above starting their 2017 tally fresh at one apiece. No pairs, no families, no golden-duck carnage this time round. Early days yet. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Daniel Thirkell — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 2. Darrell Houghton-Judge — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 3. Fred Taylor — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 4. Matthew Carter — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 5. Lewis Burnham — 3 innings, 1 duck (33.3%) A perfectly poultry top four, all fresh off the mark. Plenty of season left for the chasing pack to make their move — see you all at the next fixture, where the zero club will no doubt be recruiting again. 🦆0️⃣

The 2017 season creaks into life and the exclusive zero club wastes no time enrolling its first three members of the year. Three matches, three ducks, a place of dubious distinction open for business once more. Saturday 29 April & Monday 1 May — 1st XI At Bidborough CC, Craig Sands strode to the crease at four and departed courtesy of Andy Eames' safe hands off Dom Trett. A first duck of the new season for Craig, and his 25th in senior colours from 442 innings — good enough for 49th in the all-time standings, drawing him level with Dave Charlton, who reached the same 25 in a considerably brisker 219 innings across 1988–2009. Efficiency, alas, is not the currency measured here. Two days later at Chestfield CC, opener Richard Piper fell to a sharp catch by Tom Barton off James Nordin — his first duck of the campaign and 76th of an extraordinary career, keeping him lodged at number 6 on the all-time roll of dishonour. Richard is already a fixture of the honours boards — Duck of the Year 2003, membership of the Full House club (a duck at every position 1 to 11, as complete as it is unwanted), and regular billing on the Ducks on the Road, Homebody and Lone Duck top tens. On this very date in 1965, Fred Greenfield was doing much the same against Staplehurst CC. It's rather a family trade too — brother James Piper carries 16 career ducks of his own, with father Brian on 23. Sunday 30 April — Sunday 1st XI Away to Brasted & Sundridge CC, Lewis Burnham chopped on at seven, caught off Fraser McGregor for his ninth career duck from 97 innings, 127th on the all-time list. Lewis holds standing membership of the Retirement Duck board from a past farewell — no danger of a repeat this week, just a quiet addition to the tally. On this same calendar date in 2005, a certain Richard Piper — yes, en route to his eventual 76 — was also trudging back for nought, against Bidborough CC. Week in Summary Three matches, three ducks, one honest early-season tally. No pairs, no golden ducks, no family doubles this time — just three professionals going about the quiet art of not scoring. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Richard Piper — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50.0% - Craig Sands — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33% - Lewis Burnham — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33% Early days yet, plenty of cricket left to fatten these numbers. Roll on next weekend — the ducks are out there, and Linton Park will find them. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A quiet one for the Quack Club this week, members. One fixture down on the books and, remarkably, not a single duck to show for it. Eleven names took guard, eleven names got off the mark. The zero club held its Annual General Meeting and nobody turned up. Whether this counts as a triumph of technique or a temporary lapse in the club's usual generosity is, as ever, a matter of perspective. Either way, the honours board gathers no new members this week — the art of not scoring was, on this occasion, simply not practised. 🏏 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard The 2017 season is freshly underway and the table is, fittingly, as bare as a duck's egg — nobody has troubled the scorers yet in either direction. A clean slate for all, and an open field for whoever blinks first. 📅 Looking ahead Early season nerves clearly got the better of the bowlers rather than the batters this time out. But the Duck Club has a long memory and an even longer season ahead — normal service, we are confident, will resume shortly. Get your kin, your pairs, and your golden ducks primed, Linton — the nought is out there somewhere, and it won't stay hidden for long. 🦆 0️⃣