🦆 The Duck Pond

Saturday 24th September 1st XI v Offham CC — Nathan Brooker took it upon himself to personally escort three Linton batsmen back to the pavilion, all trapped the same way. A wholesale delivery of noughts. - Will Thirkell, in at three, lasted precisely one ball before being bowled by Brooker — a proper golden duck. His 2nd of the season and 9th of a career now standing at 82 innings, keeping him at 117th of 1399 all time, level with names like Gerald Wright and John Bloomfield on the same tally. On this very day in 2003, Brian Piper (1973–2008, 23 ducks, 48th all time) was doing precisely the same thing against Penshurst Park CC. A proud Thirkell duck dynasty too, with the surname littered through the honours board from top to bottom. - Jack Gwynn held out three balls before joining the queue — his first LPCC duck in just 10 innings. He sits level on a single career duck with 2006 one-and-done man - Howard, whose entire duck career began and ended with that same lone nought. - Martin Harris completed Brooker's hat-trick of dismissals, golden duck and all, for his 6th of the season — fitting, given he's already this year's reigning Duck of the Year. That's 8 career ducks from just 28 innings, 126th all time, level with Carl Davis (1994–2009, 41 innings), who also bowed out on a duck. A family trade too — his kin Jon Harris carries a hefty 90 career noughts. Sunday 25th September 1st XI v Chairman's XI — - Thomas Beeney fell to Tom Davey at number nine for his 6th duck of the season, drawing level with Martin Harris at the top of this year's charts. His 19th career duck from 97 innings keeps him a healthy 59th all time, and he remains a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club and the Ducks on the Road top 10 from seasons past. On this same date in 1960, Len Conway — also a Debutante Duck alumnus — made a duck against Linton Park CC. Thomas's kin Michael Beeney adds 34 further career ducks to the family collection. Week in Summary Four ducks from two matches, the lot of them 1st XI, and three of Saturday's victims falling to the very same bowler — Nathan Brooker will be dining out on that story for a while. A weekend of consistency of a very particular kind. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Martin Harris — 15 inns, 6 ducks (40.0%) 2. Thomas Beeney — 18 inns, 6 ducks (33.3%) 3. Richard Piper — 32 inns, 5 ducks (15.6%) 4. Richard Knowler — 15 inns, 4 ducks (26.7%) 5. -Adam Wright — 18 inns, 3 ducks (16.7%) Harris and Beeney locked together at the summit — the race for Duck of the Year 2011 is very much alive. 🍩 Next fixture looms, and Brooker's still bowling somewhere. Who's next to join the exclusive zero club? 🦆0️⃣

A slim week for the collectors among us — just three ducks scattered across four fixtures — but each one arrived with a tale worth the telling. Saturday 10th September 2nd XI at Headcorn CC Trevor Back was bowled by James Hopkins at number five, his second duck of the season and the 72nd of a career that shows no sign of slowing. That tally keeps him a lofty 5th in the all-time standings, a paid-up member of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, with shared quacking honours alongside Allan Cooper and Jon Harris besides. On this very date back in 1955, John --'s Taylor also made a duck against Old Roffensians — some things, it seems, are written into the fixture list itself. Sunday 11th September Sunday 1st XI v Harbledown CC Martin Harris departed bowled by Neil Harrison at number eight, his fifth duck of the season and a modest seventh for his career from just 26 innings — a strike rate that leaves him out in front, alone, for Duck of the Year 2011. He draws level on career ducks with Jamie Ratcliffe, the club's own Duck of the Year for 2009 — good company keeps finding itself in bad company. Harris also carries the pedigree for it, with kinsman Jon Harris sitting on 90 career ducks of his own. Wednesday 14th September Midweek XI v Penshurst Park CC Michael Beeney was bowled by Paul Eames at number six for his second duck of the season and 34th of his career, holding steady at 27th on the all-time list. Michael is a fully paid-up member of several exclusive societies — the Diamond Duck class of 2002, Retirement Duck honours from a past farewell, and a standing Only Two Quacks partnership with Ian Brattle. On this same date in 1958, Stan Wratten made a duck against Tunbridge Wells CC, later immortalised in his own Quacking Together pairing with John Ames. Week in summary Three ducks from four matches — a quiet week by Linton's usual standards, quality over quantity. All three fell to the bowlers rather than any run-out mishaps, and two of the three duckers are already deep into season tallies that suggest 2011 has plenty more nought to give. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Martin Harris — 5 ducks in 13 innings (38.46%) - Thomas Beeney — 5 ducks in 16 innings (31.25%) - Richard Piper — 5 ducks in 31 innings (16.13%) - Richard Knowler — 4 ducks in 14 innings (28.57%) - -Adam Wright — 3 ducks in 18 innings (16.67%) Martin Harris leads the race for Duck of the Year 2011, with Thomas Beeney lurking just a duck behind and the season not yet done. Next fixture, the hunt resumes — bring your bats, gentlemen, or don't bother bringing them at all. 🦆

A quiet weekend on the poultry front, but the exclusive zero club never fully closes its doors, and one member duly reported for duty. Saturday 3rd September 2nd XI v Selsdon CC (home) Laurie Probert, walking in at four, was caught behind by Jack Dinning off the bowling of Mike Parry — a tidy, professional dismissal for nought, the sort that barely troubles the scorebook but troubles the ego just fine. It's Laurie's 3rd duck of the season and the 7th of an increasingly seasoned career, edging him to a very respectable 141st of 1,399 in the all-time reckoning. Not bad company at all — Laurie now sits shoulder to shoulder on 7 career ducks with Jamie Ratcliffe, who racked up the same tally across 49 innings in his 2008–2011 stint and even bagged Duck of the Year in 2009 for his trouble. Laurie will be hoping to follow that trajectory, minus the runs, obviously. Week in Summary One duck from two fixtures — the rest of the LPCC top order showed uncharacteristic restraint and actually troubled the scorers. Consistency of a very particular kind eluded the wider membership this week, though Laurie flew the flag admirably. Quality over quantity, as the Duck Club likes to say when quantity fails to materialise. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 1. Thomas Beeney — 5 ducks / 15 innings (33.3%) 2. Richard Piper — 5 ducks / 30 innings (16.7%) 3. Martin Harris — 4 ducks / 12 innings (33.3%) 4. Richard Knowler — 4 ducks / 13 innings (30.8%) 5. -Adam Wright — 3 ducks / 16 innings (18.75%) Thomas Beeney and Martin Harris share the club's finest strike rate for failure this season at a blistering one-in-three, though Richard Piper's sheer volume of opportunity keeps him in the frame. A lean week, but the season is young and the top order restless. Next fixture brings fresh victims to the crease — the Duck Club will, as ever, be watching closely, bat raised in solemn anticipation. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Three matches, three ducks this week — a tidy, evenly-rationed haul for the exclusive zero club, one apiece and nobody being greedy about it. 2nd XI v Staplehurst CC (away) Thomas Beeney continued his season-long residency at the crease-and-back, caught behind off Tom Fuller (via Tom Henson) at number seven for his 5th duck of the season and 18th of a fine career — 63rd in the all-time table. A fully paid-up Debutante Duck (his very first senior innings went the same way) and a regular on the Ducks on the Road top 10, Thomas now sits level on 18 with 1988–2006 stalwart Russell Baldwin, kindred spirits four decades apart. His kin Michael Beeney, a parent-and-child duo, keeps the surname busy this week too — see below. Midweek XI v The Mote CC (away) Iain Rawson was bowled by Robert Adams at number six for his 3rd duck of the season and 15th career nought, edging up to 72nd all-time. On this very day in 1980, Allan Cooper made a duck of his own against Staplehurst CC, a name permanently enshrined in the club's Only Two Quacks wing. Rawson's sibling Glen isn't far behind on 11 career ducks, so the family clearly has an eye for the art of not scoring. Sunday 1st XI v Cowdrey CC (home) Michael Beeney was run out by Chris Jesson at number 10 without troubling the scorers, his 1st duck of the season and a hefty 33rd of his career — 28th all-time. A long-standing Diamond Duck club member (out without facing a ball, back in 2002) and one half of the Only Two Quacks pairing with Ian Brattle, Michael also carries a Retirement Duck credential from a past farewell. On this day in 1996, Daniel Thirkell made a duck of his own against Mullion — good company to keep. Week in summary Three matches, three ducks, one each — no repeats, no pairs, no king pairs, just steady contributions to the cause. The Beeney household quietly extends its grip on club duck output, parent and child both adding to the tally this week, albeit in entirely separate fixtures. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 Thomas Beeney — 5 ducks, 14 innings (35.71%) 🥈 Richard Piper — 5 ducks, 29 innings (17.24%) 🥉 Martin Harris — 4 ducks, 12 innings (33.33%) Richard Knowler — 4 ducks, 13 innings (30.77%) -Adam Wright — 3 ducks, 15 innings (20.0%) Thomas Beeney holds top spot, but Martin Harris's 33% strike rate suggests he's lurking with intent. Plenty of season left for the standings to shuffle. Next fixtures loom, and the ducks are surely just warming up. Keep the bats loose and the scorebooks ready — more nought-based news to follow. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Seven fixtures, six ducks, and one full ceremonial appearance of the honours board this week. The zero club has been busy. 🏏 Saturday — Lenham CC The 2nds' Thomas Beeney departed for his 4th duck of the campaign, caught by a fielder whose name — "Unsure" — rather summed up the whole affair, bowled through by Matthew Shrimpton. That's 17 career ducks now (rank 69 of 1399), pulling him level with Clive Newman, who required 370 innings between 1992 and 2010 to reach the same tally. Beeney remains a proud Debutante Duck alumnus and continues his climb up the Ducks on the Road top 10. 🌱 Sunday — Great Chart CC Martin Harris walked out and straight back again, lbw first ball to Darren McGoldrick — a golden duck 0️⃣ for the away 2nds. It's his 4th of the season, keeping him firmly in this year's Duck of the Year 2011 shake-up, and takes him to 6 career ducks (rank 156), level with Laurie Probert (2008–2011). Fittingly, it runs in the family — father Jon Harris sits 2nd on the all-time list with 90. ✈️ Tour XI — Woolpit CC A vintage afternoon for the touring party. Adam Wright fell bowled by Gayashan Munasinghe, his 3rd duck of the season and 3rd career (rank 208), level with Daniel McCarthy (2006–2007). Then the ceremony the club exists for: a genuine Duck and Ducklings 🥇. Richard Knowler was golden ducked first ball, caught behind off George Brown, and was joined in the sheds moments later by son Joshua, caught off Lee Thompson having faced four. Richard's 4th of the season brings him to 7 career (rank 143, level with Jamie Ratcliffe), while Joshua's 2nd of the season takes him to 10 (rank 108, level with Jack Jenner, 2003–2008) and a proud member of the Duck of the Year 2010 roll. Tour XI — N.Jackson XI Two days later, Nat Presneill made it a hat-trick of Tour ducks, caught off T Wright for his 1st of the season and 2nd career — both from just two career innings, a flawless if entirely unwanted 100% record. He joins Alan Probert (2008–2009) on the same tally and wears his Debutante Duck badge with pride. 📊 Six ducks in seven matches, three of them at Woolpit alone, and the club's first Duck and Ducklings of 2011 into the bargain. A week of proper pedigree failure. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Richard Piper — 5 ducks / 28 inns (17.86%) 2. Martin Harris — 4 / 11 (36.36%) 3. Thomas Beeney — 4 / 12 (33.33%) 4. Richard Knowler — 4 / 13 (30.77%) 5. Adam Wright — 3 / 14 (21.43%) Onwards to the next fixture, where the exclusive zero club is, as ever, taking new applications. 🍩🦆

Only three ducks slipped through the net this week, but as ever quality trumped quantity in the exclusive zero club. 🏏 Saturday 13 August — 1st XI away at Milstead CC Craig Sands became the week's opening statistic, caught and bowled by Ben Ryder for nought at first drop. It's his 3rd duck of the season and 17th of a long and storied career, moving him to 64th in the all-time standings from 323 innings. That tally puts him level with Clive Newman, who played 1992–2010 and needed 370 innings to reach the same unhappy total — Craig getting there rather more efficiently, if "efficiently" is the right word for accumulating noughts. 🕰️ Wednesday 17 August — Midweek XI at home to Tunbridge Wells Wednesday CC A rare mid-week double helping. Tim Wright opened the batting and the scoring column stayed resolutely shut, caught behind (fielder unsure, always the way) off S Collier. His 1st duck of the season nudges him to 6 for his career in 127 innings, drawing level with Laurie Probert, a 2008–2011 contemporary who reached the same mark in a rather brisker 79. A chip off the old block too — Tim's relative Adam Wright already carries 2 career ducks of his own, so the family clearly knows the drill. Down at number 10, Martin Harris continued his extraordinary campaign, caught off J- Knott without scoring. It's his 3rd duck of the season from just 8 innings — a frankly heroic 37.5% strike rate for failure — and his 5th career duck in 21 innings, ranking 171st of 1398 all time. That puts him alongside Iain Cardew, who played 1994–2011 and is himself a fully paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club. Martin, meanwhile, sits proudly as reigning Duck of the Year for 2011 — a crown he is defending with real conviction. Kin note: relative Jon Harris carries a mighty 90 career ducks, so the ability to leave a ball alone rather too well appears to run thick in the bloodline. 📋 Week in Summary Three ducks from five matches — the 1st XI and Midweek XI doing the honours between them, while the 2nd XI, 3rd XI and the remaining fixture came away disappointingly duck-free. Not a vintage week for the collectors, but a quietly excellent one for Martin Harris, who is now averaging comedy at a rate the rest of the club can only admire. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard (2011) - Richard Piper — 26 inn, 5 ducks, 19.23% - Martin Harris — 8 inn, 3 ducks, 37.5% - Richard Knowler — 10 inn, 3 ducks, 30.0% - Thomas Beeney — 10 inn, 3 ducks, 30.0% - Craig Sands — 20 inn, 3 ducks, 15.0% Martin Harris's strike rate remains the number to watch — at this pace the Duck of the Year title may need re-engraving before September. 🍩 Roll on the next fixture — the zero club never closes, and there's always a fresh nought waiting to be earned. See you at the crease. 0️⃣

A modest haul this weekend from four fixtures — just three additions to the exclusive zero club — but each one carries its own small footnote in the archive. 🏏 Saturday 6th August 1st XI away to Meopham CC: Daniel Thirkell departed at first drop, bowled by James Pollard for nought. His second duck of the season and 23rd for his Linton career, drawing him level with Brian Piper — who played 1973–2008 across 441 innings — and holding steady at 50th of 1397 in the all-time charts, a Tourist Duck top 10 regular adding another notch to a name that barely needs introducing round these parts. The Thirkell surname is practically a Duck Club dynasty in its own right, with kin John (90), Tim (84), Nigel (58) and Simon (57) all keeping the family tradition of the golden zero very much alive — Daniel's just doing his bit. 2nd XI at home to Meopham CC: Will Thew was undone caught behind, the fielder's identity apparently lost to the scorebook — "ct Unsure b Miles Tucker" being about as honest an entry as this club's ever produced. His third duck of the season and sixth of his career from a brisk 41 innings, level with Laurie Probert (2008–2011, 79 innings). Will already holds his Debutante Duck club card from an earlier innings of infamy, so this one's just topping up the account. 🌱 Sunday 7th August 2nd XI vs New Ifield CC: Paul Ratcliffe fell bowled by Joe Lawrence, his second duck of the season and fourth of his career in a lean 17 innings — level with Lewis Burnham (2009–2011, 38 innings). Paul is a long-standing member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell, though nobody's suggesting he's bowing out just yet on this evidence. His brother Jamie keeps 7 career ducks of his own, proof the family has an eye for the art of not scoring. 📅 The Week in Brief Three ducks from four matches — a relatively quiet weekend by Linton's usual standards, though Will Thew and Paul Ratcliffe both feature in the current season charts, so the race for Duck of the Year continues to tighten. 🦆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Richard Piper — 5 ducks in 26 innings (19.2%) - Thomas Beeney — 3 ducks in 8 innings (37.5%) - Richard Knowler — 3 ducks in 10 innings (30.0%) - Will Thew — 3 ducks in 25 innings (12.0%) - Paul Ratcliffe — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40.0%) Plenty of cricket left in the season yet, and with Richard Piper's lead looking anything but safe, the next round of fixtures should keep the honours board busy. Pads on, bats ready — the ducks are always circling. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Five fixtures on the go across the weekend and, credit where it's due, the opposition mostly held their nerve. Just the one nought to log for the period, but a quietly distinguished one. Sunday 1st XI At Mersham Sports CC, Glen Rawson came to the crease at five and departed without troubling the scorers, caught by an unidentified fielder off the bowling of Craig Calvert. It's Glen's 1st duck of the 2011 season and the 11th of a career now spanning 147 innings — good enough for 95th on the all-time list of 1,397. That tally draws Glen level with Adam Jackson, who also reached 11 career ducks, doing so in a brisker 104 innings between 2001 and 2010 — proof that quality noughts take their own sweet time. Worth noting for the family scorebook too: sibling Iain Rawson already carries 14 career ducks, so there's clearly a nose for the zero in that household. 🦆 Week in Summary A lean week for the Duck Club — five matches, one scalp, and four sides getting through entirely unscathed. Sometimes the ducks simply evade capture; the traps remain set and normal service will presumably resume shortly. 0️⃣ Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Richard Piper — 5 ducks in 24 innings (20.83%) - Thomas Beeney — 3 ducks in 7 innings (42.86%) - Richard Knowler — 3 ducks in 9 innings (33.33%) - Martin Harris — 2 ducks in 6 innings (33.33%) - Harry Bee — 2 ducks in 10 innings (20.0%) The race for Duck of the Year remains wide open, with Richard Piper setting the pace but plenty of contenders lurking. Next weekend brings more fixtures and, in all probability, more additions to the exclusive zero club — get those bats out and let's see who's next for the honours board. 🏏🥇🦆

Ten new entries processed this week by the Linton Park Duck Club across five fixtures — from Staplehurst to Hawkinge, via a Kent Tour side on the Wednesday. The art of not scoring remains, as ever, alive and thriving. 🏏 Saturday — Staplehurst CC (1st XI, away) Jack Valentine ran through the middle order in a hurry. Daniel Thirkell went first ball for his 1st duck of the season and 22nd of a long career (53rd of 1397 all-time), a paid-up member of the Tourist Duck top 10. He draws level on 22 with Mark Christmas, who reached the same tally across 2002–2011 and once claimed Duck of the Year in 2008. Craig Sands followed suit, also golden, his 1st of the season and 15th career (68th all-time) — on this very day in 1960, Brian Relf was doing exactly the same thing against Tovil, en route to a Retirement Duck of his own. Richard Knowler at least troubled the scorers for two deliveries before being run out, his 3rd duck of the season and 6th career (158th all-time), level with Laurie Probert, who reached the same total between 2008 and 2011. The Knowler name isn't new to this list either — a family member already carries 9 career ducks. 🏏 Saturday — Cobham CC (2nd XI, home) Iain Rawson departed early off Callen Fahey, his 2nd duck of the season and 14th career (76th all-time) — the very fixture in which, back in 2010, he was also making a duck against Shipbourne. A repeat offender, some might say. 🌱 Sunday — Bells Yew Green CC (Sunday 1s, away) A rare top-order sighting: opener Richard Piper fell for his 5th duck of the season, taking him to a staggering 59 career ducks — 7th of all time, a Duck of the Year winner, and a proud holder of the Full House (a duck at every position 1–11). On this same day in 1989, Matt Large was completing a duck of his own against Coleshill, en route to 63. Benjamin Austin marked his very first senior innings with a golden — sorry, a proper — duck, joining the Debutante Duck board on debut. History records only one other player finishing on exactly 1 duck from 1 innings: a certain Howard, back in 2006, who never played again. Big shoes to avoid filling. Thomas Beeney went first ball for his 3rd duck of the season and 16th career (71st all-time), a Ducks on the Road regular, sharing the day's parallel with Matt Large's 1989 vintage. 🌱 Sunday — Hawkinge CC (Sunday 2s, away) Chris Newman departed cheaply for his 1st duck of the season and 25th career (42nd all-time), level with Christopher Thirkell's 1998–2009 tally, and himself a Duck of the Year winner in 2005. -Adam Wright edged behind for his 2nd duck of the season and 2nd career (263rd all-time), matching Alan Probert's short but eventful 2008–09 stint. 🍩 Wednesday — Ipswich Greyhounds CC (Kent Tour XI, home) Craig Sands was back at it, bowled by S Boulter for his 2nd duck of the season and 16th career. Having gone golden on Saturday, Craig arrived one king-pair-shy of immortality — only to nick off a little later in the innings instead. The purest form of the achievement remains agonisingly out of reach, for now. His tally lines up with Darren Styles, a 1989–2011 veteran on the same 16. 📊 Week in Summary Ten ducks, five matches, and a proper spread across the club — top order, middle order, and a debutant thrown in for good measure. Craig Sands somehow found a way to feature twice without quite completing the full set. The season's front-runners keep piling on the noughts. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Richard Piper — 22 inns, 5 ducks (22.7%) 2. Thomas Beeney — 7 inns, 3 ducks (42.9%) 3. Richard Knowler — 9 inns, 3 ducks (33.3%) 4. Martin Harris — 6 inns, 2 ducks (33.3%) 5. -Adam Wright — 10 inns, 2 ducks (20.0%) See you all next weekend — the club never closes, and the queue for membership never gets any shorter. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A tidy little harvest for the exclusive zero club this week — five ducks across five fixtures, spread with almost suspicious fairness. As ever, the art of not scoring found its willing practitioners. Saturday 9th July 1st XI (v Shipbourne CC) — Harry Bee went for a needless single and paid the ultimate price, run out by Chris Clarke after 8 balls of honest resistance. His 2nd duck of the season and 3rd of his career, good for 233rd on the all-time list, draws him level with Daniel McCarthy, who reached the same tally in 19 innings back in 2006–2007. Harry also carries the club's Debutante Duck and Quack-to-Quack honours from earlier in his innings-count — a seasoned campaigner in the dubious distinctions, whatever this week's effort might suggest. Kinsman Andy Bee is a fellow paid-up member of the zero club in his own right. 2nd XI (v Shipbourne CC) — Ian Hollingworth was trapped lbw by Andrew Gillam for his 1st duck of the campaign and 13th of an increasingly storied career, 79th on the all-time roll. He now stands shoulder to shoulder with Iain Rawson, who compiled the same 13 across a far more industrious 94 innings between 2006 and 2011. Sunday 10th July 1st XI (v Beckenham CC) — James Piper was bowled by Chris Barnett, his 1st duck of the season and 11th of his career, 96th all-time, level with Adam Jackson (2001–2010, 104 innings). Ducking plainly runs in the blood here — sibling Richard Piper carries 58 career noughts and father Brian Piper another 23, so James turns up to family gatherings thoroughly outgunned. 2nd XI (v Stone-in-Oxney CC) — a proper double helping of ignominy. -Adam Wright fell first ball to Alex Clarke — a golden duck — his maiden career nought from just 8 innings, 373rd all-time, pulling level with "- Howard", a One and Done member of the class of 2006. Moments later Will Thew also departed first ball, golden again, this time to Angus Walker, his 2nd of the season and 5th of his career, 179th all-time, matching Iain Cardew's tally built across 62 innings between 1994 and 2011. Will remains a lifetime member of the Debutante Duck honours from his own first-ever innings, long before this week's contribution. Week in summary — five ducks, five matches, and remarkably no repeat offenders. Stone-in-Oxney's attack can be especially proud, banking a golden brace in a single innings — the purest form of the art, twice over. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Richard Piper — 4 ducks, 20 innings, 20% - Martin Harris — 2 ducks, 5 innings, 40% - Thomas Beeney — 2 ducks, 5 innings, 40% - Richard Knowler — 2 ducks, 8 innings, 25% - Harry Bee — 2 ducks, 10 innings, 20% Richard Piper holds the lead on volume, but Martin Harris and Thomas Beeney's fearsome 40% strike rates mean this season's crown is very much up for grabs. Same time next week — the ducks never stop coming, and nor do we. See you at the crease 🦆🍩0️⃣

A quiet weekend by the exclusive zero club's usual standards, but never let it be said the art of not scoring took a day off. Four fixtures, two ducks, and a fresh instalment in the season's race for infamy. 🏏 Saturday — 1st XI away at Headcorn CC Richard Knowler strode out at number 8 and departed just as briskly, stumped by Kevin Richardson off Nicholas Daking after just 3 balls of honest endeavour. It's his 2nd duck of the season and the 5th of a career now standing at 68 innings — good enough for 171st of 1396 in the all-time reckoning, a position of quiet, unglamorous consistency. He arrives level on 5 career ducks with Iain Cardew, who plied his trade for Linton from 1994 to 2011 and reached the same tally in 61 innings — and who, for what it's worth, holds his own Debutante Duck honour from an innings long since faded from memory. Fitting company for a fellow traveller in the noughts. 🌱 Sunday — 2nd XI at home to Lord Raglan Jamie Ratcliffe gave it more of a go — 7 balls of resistance before being bowled by P Crafter — but a duck by any duration is still a duck. It's his 1st of the season and 7th for his career, moving him to 138th of 1396 all time. Jamie remains a proud name on the Duck of the Year 2009 honours board, a title earned the hard way, and this latest addition draws him level with Mike Caddick, who reached 7 career ducks across a rather more industrious 127 innings between 1993 and 2009. Efficiency, as ever, is relative. Fittingly, Jamie isn't even the only nought-prone name in his family — brother Paul Ratcliffe already carries 3 career ducks of his own, so the aptitude for adversity clearly runs in the blood. 📊 Week in Summary Just 2 ducks harvested from 4 matches this period — the geese, it seems, kept better discipline than the ducks. Both fell to catches of patience rather than golden-duck horror: 3 balls and 7 balls respectively, so nobody walks away with first-baller infamy this week. Slim pickings, but the season race marches on regardless. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Richard Piper — 4 ducks / 18 innings (22.22%) - Thomas Beeney — 2 ducks / 4 innings (50.00%) - Martin Harris — 2 ducks / 5 innings (40.00%) - Richard Knowler — 2 ducks / 7 innings (28.57%) - Laurie Probert — 2 ducks / 10 innings (20.00%) Thomas Beeney's 50% strike rate remains the most alarming figure in the club, statistically more likely to duck than not each time he walks out. Keep half an eye on him. 🍩 Next fixture looms, and with it, more opportunity for the zero club to welcome new — or returning — members. As always, the ducks are out there. We simply wait for them to be found. 0️⃣🦆

Three fixtures out on the paddock this weekend and, credit to Linton's top order, the Duck Club had to work hard for its supper. Just the one nought to log — but it's a good one, so let's not undersell it. 🏏 Sunday 1st XI — away to Knockers CC Thomas Beeney walked out at five and departed for two deliveries before being bowled by C Spencer Allen — not a golden duck, he'll want that on record, but the extra ball bought him nothing. This is Thomas's 2nd duck of the season and his 15th for the club from 83 innings, lodging him at 72nd of 1396 in the all-time standings. A road warrior in the making too — he's a fixture on the Ducks on the Road top 10, and this away-day special only burnishes that reputation. Long-time watchers will also note Thomas is a card-carrying member of the Debutante Duck club, having opened his Linton account with a nought many summers ago — this one's merely the latest instalment, not a repeat performance. Keep it in the family: his relative Michael Beeney carries 32 career ducks of his own, so the surname is not new to these pages. And rather splendidly — on this very day back in 1971, Andrew Moss also trudged off for nought against Tilling Steven, en route to 11 career ducks across a marathon 1968-2008 stint and eventual induction to the Retirement Duck honours. Forty years apart, same fate, same date. The club has a long memory for these things. 📅 Week in Summary Three matches, one duck — Linton's top and middle orders largely kept their discipline this weekend, which frankly makes the correspondent's job rather difficult. Still, one entry in the ledger is one more than none, and Thomas has done his duty for the cause. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Richard Piper — 4 ducks, 17 innings (23.53%) - Thomas Beeney — 2 ducks, 4 innings (50.00%) - Martin Harris — 2 ducks, 5 innings (40.00%) - Laurie Probert — 2 ducks, 9 innings (22.22%) - Mark Christmas — 2 ducks, 14 innings (14.29%) Thomas Beeney's fifty-percent strike rate this season is one to watch — at this pace he'll be knocking on serious honours before August. 🍩 The season rolls on, and with it the promise that someone, somewhere, will nick one behind next weekend. Get down to the ground, support the lads, and keep half an eye out for the next name added to the club's most dubious register. 0️⃣🦆

Five noughts fell across four fixtures this weekend, and one of them came wrapped in genuine club ceremony. Read on. 🏏 Saturday — 1st XI v Betsham CC Stuart Cheesman was in and out at five, bowled by Simon Rasho for his 1st duck of the season and 40th of a decorated career (403 innings, rank 21 of 1395). A Debutante Duck, twice Duck of the Year (1994, 1996), and a Full House holder — a duck at every position 1 to 11 — Stuart keeps illustrious company. On this very day in 1961, Robert Murray (1958–1965, 17 ducks) also fell for nought, against Halfway House. It runs in the family too: parent-child member Fred Cheesman sits on 42 career ducks, sibling Steve on 14. 🌱 Sunday — 2nd XI v New Ifield CC A proper occasion at the death of the innings: Martin Harris and Jon Harris, both dismissed by Stuart Shulver in the same match. Martin, caught behind at ten, took his 2nd duck of the season and 4th of his career (18 innings, rank 192), level with Lewis Burnham (2009–2011, 33 innings). At eleven, Jon Harris was bowled for his 1st duck of the season and a staggering 90th career duck — 2nd on the all-time list of 1395, with four Duck of the Year titles, Full House, Lone Duck, Homebody and Tourist Duck top tens to his name. On this day in 1955, his own parent-child relative Richard Harris (36 ducks) also made a nought, against Hambros Bank. Ceremony indeed: Jon and Martin's shared failure crowns this weekend's Duck and Ducklings, a parent and child both back in the hutch in the very same innings — a rare feat the club doesn't see often. 🌤 Sunday — NVKC v Bidborough CC Will Thirkell was bowled by Andrew Redden at seven for his 1st duck of the season, 8th career (56 innings, rank 132), level with Carl Davis (1994–2009, 41 innings). Will joins a genuine Thirkell dynasty in the club, with parent-child relative Nigel on 58 and cousins including club legends John and Tim Thirkell on 90 and 84. Thomas Beeney followed shortly after, bowled by Rodger Poulsom at nine for his 1st duck of the season and 14th career (82 innings, rank 76), matching Craig Sands (2002–2011, 314 innings). A Debutante Duck and Ducks on the Road top-tenner, Thomas has parent-child company in Michael Beeney on 32. 📊 Week in Summary Five ducks, four matches, and a genuine family occasion at New Ifield. The 2nd XI bookended their innings with Harrises, while the Thirkell name proved once again that the family that ducks together stays together. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Richard Piper — 4 ducks, 17 innings (23.5%) 2. Martin Harris — 2 ducks, 5 innings (40.0%) 3. Laurie Probert — 2 ducks, 8 innings (25.0%) 4. Mark Christmas — 2 ducks, 13 innings (15.4%) 5. Desmond High — 1 duck, 1 innings (100.0%) Piper and Harris lead the chase, but it's early days yet. Next fixture will surely add to the tally — see you there. 🦆

A quieter week in the hunting grounds — just three ducks shaken loose from four fixtures, but each one a story worth the telling. Saturday 11 June 🏏 1st XI at Headcorn CC Ryan Boyns fell early at number three, caught Simon Phipps bowled Rob Mansell, and adds his first duck of the season. That's 11 for his LPCC career from 70 innings, edging him to 100th in the all-time table — bang alongside Adam Jackson, who reached the same tally across 104 innings between 2001 and 2010. Duck-hunting, it seems, runs in the family — brother Sam sits on 5 career noughts and father Alan on a rather more serious 21, so the Boyns bloodline knows its way to the pavilion early. 🏏 2nd XI at Lenham CC Richard Knowler goes the same way at four, caught Jack Gracie bowled Dave Bunch, for his first duck of the season and 4th of his career from 66 innings — good enough for 198th on the all-time list. He draws level with Lewis Burnham, who parked on the same 4 between 2009 and 2011 before bowing out for good, a Retirement Duck club member in his own right. Knowler's son Joshua is already stacking up noughts of his own with 9 to his name — the family firm is thriving. Sunday 12 June 🏏 Sunday 2nd XI at Elvington and Tilmanstone Colliery Welfare CC The heavyweight entry of the week. Trevor Back, caught M Palmer bowled Michael Mcnicholas at five, notches his first duck of the season — but his 71st for the club, a staggering return from 646 innings that keeps him anchored at a mighty 5th in the all-time standings. Trevor is a fixture of the honours board several times over: top ten for Ducks on the Road, top ten Homebody Duck, top ten Lone Duck, and paired for posterity in both Only Two Quacks (with Allan Cooper) and Quacking Together (with Jon Harris). Fittingly, on this very day back in 2007 — also away, also against unfamiliar opposition at West Farleigh — Ian Brattle made a duck of his own, one of 51 in a career that later carried him into the Debutante Duck and 50 Before a 50 clubs. History does love to repeat itself. The Week in Summary Three ducks, four matches — the exclusive zero club kept its guest list short this week, though all three arrivals came from solid, repeat-offending stock rather than nervous newcomers. No pairs, no golden ducks, no family doubles — just honest, top-order collapses done properly. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 Richard Piper — 4 ducks, 15 innings (26.67%) 🥈 Laurie Probert — 2 ducks, 7 innings (28.57%) 🥉 Mark Christmas — 2 ducks, 11 innings (18.18%) Desmond High — 1 duck, 1 innings (100%) Matt Ellesmere — 1 duck, 1 innings (100%) Piper holds the perch for now, but with two players already boasting a flawless 100% strike rate lurking just behind, next weekend's fixtures offer plenty of scope for an upset. Pads on, ducks at the ready — see you at the crease. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Marden CC came to town — and went to Linton Park's own patch — and left with a hat-trick of scalps for the exclusive zero club to show for it. Three ducks from four fixtures this weekend, and Marden managed the rare feat of being on both ends of the carnage in the same 24 hours. 🏏 1st XI — away at Marden CC, Kent Richard Piper opened at two and departed for 13 balls' work, caught Brandreth off Tomkinson. It's duck number four of the season and a hefty 58th for the career, lodging him at 8th in the all-time table out of 1,395 — rarefied air. Piper's honours cabinet is already groaning with Duck of the Year 2003, a place in the Full House (a duck at every position, one to eleven), and top-ten billing in both Homebody and Ducks on the Road — a man equally capable of failing to score home or away. He now sits level on 58 with Nigel Thirkell, who plied his trade 1969–2011 across 1,188 innings — good company, if company built entirely on nought. Three down the order, Harry Bee fell for five balls faced, also to Tomkinson. A modest season tally of one, but his second career duck in 24 innings, ranking 307th of 1,395. Harry is already a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck and Quack-to-Quack honours — a duck on debut and, presumptively, one to bow out on too, whenever that day comes — though today's effort was neither, just an honest mid-career blob. He draws level on two with Alan Probert, whose entire 2008–2009 career amounted to two innings and two ducks — a swift and total surrender that Harry has, mercifully, not yet matched in brevity. 🏏 2nd XI — home to Marden CC Not to be left out, Lewis Burnham went second wicket down, bowled by Tom Bonney, for his first duck of the season and fourth of the career from 31 innings — 191st on the all-time list. Lewis already carries Retirement Duck status from a past farewell, a standing honour rather than any comment on today. He now sits level on four with Will Thew, another 2009–2011 vintage, who reached the same total in 27 innings — the pair separated by four innings and absolutely nothing else. 📋 Week in summary Three ducks, both wickets shared generously between Ben Tomkinson and Tom Bonney, and Marden CC contriving to inflict misery on Linton Park home and away in the same weekend — efficient work from the visitors and hosts alike. The other two fixtures in the period passed off, disappointingly, without incident. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Richard Piper — 14 inn, 4 ducks, 28.57% - Laurie Probert — 6 inn, 2 ducks, 33.33% - Mark Christmas — 11 inn, 2 ducks, 18.18% - Desmond High — 1 inn, 1 duck, 100% - Matt Ellesmere — 1 inn, 1 duck, 100% Piper leads the charge, but with two names on a flawless 100% strike rate lurking, the season race is far from settled. Next fixture, same invitation as ever: pads on, guard taken, and the zero club stands ready to welcome its next recruit. 🦆🍩

The season is barely a fortnight old and the exclusive zero club is already taking new subscriptions. Four fixtures, four ducks, and the honours boards creaked satisfyingly under the weight of fresh entries. 🏏 Saturday 1st XI v Meopham CC (home) Richard Piper strode to the crease at first wicket down and departed almost as promptly, caught Tony Pearce bowled James Pollard. It's his 3rd duck of the season and a hefty 57th for his career, keeping him at a rarefied 8th of 1395 in the all-time standings. Richard remains a fixture of the Full House board (duck at every position 1-11, a feat of thoroughness few would boast about) and the Homebody, Lone Duck and Ducks on the Road top tens besides — a man who has perfected the art of not scoring wherever he stands. He now sits level on 57 with Simon Thirkell, the 1980-2009 stalwart who reached the same total in 254 innings, himself no stranger to a Duck of the Year gong or three. 2nd XI v Meopham CC (away) Will Thew went the same way at Meopham, caught Mick Clark bowled Jon Pollard from number 5 — his 1st duck of the season and 4th of a career now 26 innings young, ranked 203 of 1395. Will is a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from a past occasion, though this one was very much a repeat offence rather than a first. On this very day in 1928, Bert Buckoke was doing much the same against Bearsted CC, en route to a pair of Duck of the Year titles either side of the war. 🌱 Sunday 2nd XI v Stockbury CC (home) Joshua Knowler fell for nought at number 7, caught Joe Martin bowled L Collins — his 1st of the season and 9th career duck, moving him to 115 of 1395 all-time. Josh was previously Quacked by Kin courtesy of Andrew Knowler back in 2010 and once claimed Duck of the Year the same season, so this is very much a return to old habits. He joins Piers McDonald, who marked this same calendar day back in 1993 with a duck of his own against Milstead CC, on the way to 48 career ducks. Sunday NVKC v Limpsfield Chart CC (away) The pick of the weekend for pure ignominy: Mark Christmas, caught Oliver Blake bowled Harvey New off the very first ball he faced — a proper golden duck, the purest form the club has to offer. It's his 2nd of the season and 22nd of a career now 221 innings deep, holding at 53rd of 1395. Mark remains a Duck of the Year alumnus from 2008 and a Full House nearly-man, having managed the feat at 10 of 11 positions and presumably eyeing off the last. He draws level on 22 with Peter Whyte, the 1987-2010 man who took 242 innings to get there — Mark rather more efficient in his pursuit of nothing. 📊 Week in Summary Four ducks from four matches, evenly spread across the club — one apiece for the 1s, the Saturday 2s, the Sunday 2s and NVKC, plus a golden duck to spice things up. Consistency of a very particular kind. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Richard Piper — 3 ducks / 12 innings (25%) 2. Laurie Probert — 2 ducks / 5 innings (40%) 3. Mark Christmas — 2 ducks / 9 innings (22.2%) 4. Desmond High — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 5. Matt Ellesmere — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) Laurie Probert leads the percentage race, but Desmond High and Matt Ellesmere are making a compelling case for maximum commitment. 🥇🍩 Next weekend's fixtures await — pads on, bats ready, and the Duck Club always has room for one more. 0️⃣🦆

A modest but tidy harvest this weekend across the Sunday sides, with four fixtures on the go and four names added to the ledger of shame. Let's get into it. Sunday 1st XI v Bearsted CC (h) Richard Piper opened the account, snapped up ct James Midgely b Carl Barker for his 2nd duck of the season and 56th of an illustrious career — 9th in the all-time standings out of 1394, no less. A veteran of the Duck of the Year 2003 podium and a card-carrying member of Full House, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top 10s, Richard barely needs the introduction anymore. Fittingly, on this very day in 1999 Dave Charlton (1988-2009, 25 ducks) was also strolling back against Staplehurst CC. Kin note: nephew-and-uncle-adjacent noughts run in the family, with Brian Piper (23) and James Piper (10) both established members of the club in their own right. Laurie Probert followed, bowled by Hallam Morgan for his 2nd of the season and 6th career duck — level with Jamie Ratcliffe (2008-2011), who reached the same total in 42 innings. Will Bramley-Harker rounded things off, bowled by Yannick Oakland for his 1st duck of both season and career from just three innings so far. He joins a rather exclusive club on exactly one — the mysteriously initialled "- Howard", whose entire senior career (2006) consisted of a single innings and a single duck, earning the One and Done and Debutante Duck honours in the process. Will also finds himself, somewhat prematurely, in the company of the Retirement Duck board — a standing honour for those who bowed out on nought, not a comment on his prospects. Sunday 2nd XI v Sissinghurst CC (a) Ron McCormick departed ct Mike Burgess b Nathan Staines, his 1st duck of the season and 8th of his career, ranking 129th of 1394 all-time. He draws level with Carl Davis (1994-2009), who also settled on 8 across 41 innings. Ron, too, carries the Retirement Duck board from a past farewell. Week in Summary Four ducks from four fixtures — a lean but respectable weekend's work. Both Piper and Probert now sit on 2 for the season, quietly setting the early pace, while three of our four duckers went first-change or later, suggesting the top order largely behaved itself this time. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Laurie Probert — 2 ducks / 5 innings (40%) 2. Richard Piper — 2 ducks / 10 innings (20%) 3. Desmond High — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 3. Matt Ellesmere — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 3. Will Bramley-Harker — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 🏏 Plenty of season left for movement at the top. Next fixture, someone new is bound to nick off for nought — see you all at the crease. 🍩0️⃣

Four matches on the go this weekend and the ducks proved a shy species — just two additions to the roll of dishonour. Slim pickings, but never let it be said quality took a back seat to quantity. Saturday — 1st XI at Sheldwich CC Mark Christmas strode out at number 7 and was gone almost as quickly, caught Ian Turton off the bowling of James Creed after just two deliveries. It's his 1st duck of the 2011 season and his 21st for the club, keeping him a tidy 56th in the all-time standings from 217 innings. A Duck of the Year winner back in 2008 and a fixture on the Full House nearly-man board having now ducked in 10 of the 11 batting positions, Mark draws level on career ducks with Alan Boyns, whose 214 innings between 1986 and 2010 also yielded exactly 21. Sunday — Sunday 2nd XI at Charing CC At number 10, Martin Harris was bowled by Paul Titchmarsh for his 1st duck of the season and 3rd of a young senior career, sitting at 240th all-time from just 14 innings. With the 2011 Duck of the Year race very much alive, an early entry like this won't go unnoticed. He joins Daniel McCarthy, who reached the same tally of 3 ducks in 19 innings back in 2006-07. There's clearly form in the blood too — his parent Jon Harris is a genuine Duck Club institution with 89 career ducks banked, so the family aptitude for the art of not scoring is well established. Week in Summary Two ducks from four matches is a quiet return by Duck Club standards — either the bowlers were feeling charitable or everyone simply remembered to middle one for once. Early season stuff, though, and there's a long summer of quacking still ahead. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Desmond High — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) - Martin Harris — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) - Matt Ellesmere — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) - Paul Ratcliffe — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) - Laurie Probert — 1 duck / 4 innings (25%) Early doors in the 2011 hunting season, with the board still finding its feet and plenty of cricket left to shuffle it. Roll on the next fixture — someone's overdue a nought 🦆🏏0️⃣

Season 2011 prised open its doors this weekend, and the exclusive zero club wasted no time signing up members. Four matches, five ducks, and Dartford proved by far the more generous host. 🏏 Sunday 1st XI — away to Dartford CC Laurie Probert fell at first drop, bowled Randy Rampersad, without adding to the total. His 1st duck of the new season is his 5th in senior whites from 67 innings, drawing him level on the all-time list (167th of 1391) with Rob Doick — who, by a splendid quirk of the calendar, made his own duck against Canterbury Pilgrims on this very day back in 1994, en route to a career haul of 30 (32nd all-time). Matt Ellesmere opened his LPCC account, caught Rampersad bowled Ryan Carter, first innings, first duck — a genuine arrival for the club's newest recruit and an instant entry on the Debutante Duck board. He's already provisionally filed under this season's One and Done and Retirement Duck honours too, though we'll reserve judgement on both until he's had a fair second dig with the bat. He joins - Howard on the same tally, whose lone 2006 innings ended identically. Iain Rawson was bowled by Amrit Saini for his 13th career duck from 82 innings, moving to 77th all-time — level with Ray Dixon (1999-2011, Duck of the Year 2007). A family trade, this: sibling Glen Rawson carries 10 career ducks of his own. Sam Boyns ran himself out for nought, his 5th career duck from 28 innings, keeping company with Rob Doick once again on today's 1994 anniversary. Boyns duck-hunting looks hereditary — father Alan sits on 21 career ducks, brother Ryan on 10. Quite the family firm. 🏏 Sunday 2nd XI — home to Holmesdale CC Paul Ratcliffe was bowled by John Allen for his 3rd career duck from a tidy 13 innings, level with Daniel McCarthy (2006-07). A paid-up member of the Retirement Duck board from a past farewell — no danger of that repeating today, this was very much mid-innings business. Brother Jamie Ratcliffe carries 6 career ducks of his own, so the art of not scoring clearly runs in the blood. 📊 Week in Summary Five ducks from four matches to open the campaign, four of them supplied courtesy of Dartford's attack, one from Holmesdale. Early season, plenty of graft still to come — the zero club's books are already busy. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Desmond High — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) 2. Matt Ellesmere — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) 3. Paul Ratcliffe — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) 4. Laurie Probert — 3 inn, 1 duck (33%) 5. Sam Boyns — 3 inn, 1 duck (33%) Three names sitting on a flawless 100% duck rate this early — someone will spoil it with an actual run eventually. Until then, consistency of a very particular kind. Next weekend's fixtures await, and the club's most exclusive membership drive continues. See you at the crease — or shortly after it. 🦆0️⃣

A gentle opening to proceedings this week — four matches played, and the exclusive zero club processed just a single new application. Standards, as ever, were maintained even in short supply. 🏏 2nd XI — Home to Shipbourne CC, 30 April Desmond High supplied the weekend's lone entrant, trudging back lbw to Barry Hart at number 7. It's his 1st duck of the new season and the 3rd of a career now standing at 5 innings, good enough to hold 218th of 1390 in the all-time standings — a place secured alongside a spot on both the Debutante Duck club and the Retirement Duck honours board, standing honours from past occasions rather than anything new today. Desmond now sits level on 3 career ducks with Daniel McCarthy, who reached the same tally across 19 innings back in 2006-2007 — kindred spirits on nought, separated by the best part of a decade. 📋 Week in Summary Four matches, one duck — the poultry were largely uncooperative this week, bat finding ball with irritating regularity across the rest of the club. Even the art of not scoring needs the occasional rest. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Desmond High — 1 inns, 1 duck (100%) - Richard Piper — 4 inns, 1 duck (25%) An early, sparse leaderboard with plenty of season left to fill it out. Next fixture brings the usual invitation — middle stump, first ball, and a shot at joining the honours board await. 🦆🏏0️⃣

The 2011 season creaks into life and, true to tradition, the Duck Club wastes no time finding its first name of the year. Two matches over the weekend, one moment of proper ignominy to report — but what a name to open the honours board with. 🏏 Saturday 23 April — 1st XI v Hadlow CC (Home) In at first drop, Richard Piper departed lbw b Chris Millen without troubling the scorers — the season's opening entry in the exclusive zero club, and duck number 55 of an extraordinary career. From 486 innings that puts him 9th of 1390 in the all-time standings, a rarefied altitude few will ever trouble. Piper needs no introduction round these parts — a Duck of the Year winner back in 2003, a fixture of the Ducks on the Road and Homebody Duck top tens (he manages the feat wherever LPCC play), and one of the select few to complete the Full House, having now made a duck from every position 1 to 11. Consistency of a very particular kind. Neatly, on this very day in 1994 — while Piper was presumably still learning to walk — club legend Simon Thirkell (1980–2009) also strolled back for nought, against Hollingbourne CC of all sides. Thirkell finished his own career on 57, one place above Piper at 8th of 1390, with a Runaway Duck season (2006) and three separate Duck of the Year titles to his name. Good company to keep on results day. A word too for the Piper bloodline — father Brian Piper sits on 23 career ducks and brother James Piper on 10, so nought clearly runs in the blood. No family entry to report this week, but the gene pool remains promising. 🌱 Sunday 24 April Quiet on the duck front — the second fixture of the weekend proved a vegan affair, with all batters getting off the mark. The ducks live to fight another day. 📊 Week in Summary Two matches, one duck, and Richard Piper doing all the early heavy lifting. A gentle opening to the season by Linton's standards — expect the tally to swell rapidly once the league proper gets under way. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Richard Piper — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% Early days yet, but Piper sets the early pace with a half-century strike rate of the wrong kind. Plenty of season left for the rest of the club to make their case. 📅 Next fixture beckons — who fancies joining Richard on the board? We watch. We wait. We celebrate. 0️⃣🍩🦆

A rare and troubling occurrence at Linton Park this week: the ducks evaded capture entirely. One fixture played, eleven batsmen sent out to do battle, and not a single nought to show for it. Every man returned having troubled the scorer at least once — a genuinely vegan afternoon, free from fowl of any description. 🍩🚫 The Duck Club committee views this development with the suspicion it deserves. Consistency, as any paid-up member will tell you, cuts both ways — and a whole weekend without a single golden, king-paired, or garden-variety duck is exactly the sort of form slump that ends careers of dubious distinction. Somewhere, a season tally sits stubbornly unchanged, and somewhere else a Full Membership bid stalls for want of opportunity. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 Early doors yet — the season's charge chart is still blank, with no ducks logged to rank. A wide-open field, and plenty of time for someone to stake an early claim to the crown. Let this stand as fair warning rather than good news. The art of not scoring is a proud Linton tradition, and it does not lie dormant for long. Next weekend brings fresh fixtures, fresh new-ball spells, and — the Duck Club trusts — a fresh supply of ducks to celebrate. Bat carefully out there. We'll be watching. 🦆🏏0️⃣