🦆 The Duck Pond

A short week on the fixture card but a productive one for the exclusive zero club — one match, two new entries, and the honours boards did not sit idle. 🏏 1st XI v Hastings & St Leonards Priory CC (home) First to fall was Paul Sendles, lbw to the mysteriously unrecorded "Unsure" at number six — cricket's way of saying even the scorer couldn't quite believe it. It's his maiden senior innings, and he departs with it: 1 duck from 1 innings, ranking 452nd of 1,110 in the all-time reckoning. That's an immediate double induction — straight onto the Debutante Duck board for a nought on arrival, and, with the ledger currently reading one innings and one duck, provisionally filed under One and Done for the Class of '88 too. Whether he stays there is entirely up to him — the club will be watching with interest rather than writing eulogies. Neat historical footnote: on this very date in 1978, Ian Webb (11 ducks, 1976–1986) was going through precisely the same ritual. Four wickets later, Stewart Morrison joined him, bowled by Andrew Phillips down at ten. It's his 2nd duck of the season and 5th of a career now standing at 19 innings — good enough for 117th all-time, level company with names spanning six decades of Linton batting misfortune. Stewart already carries the Debutante Duck badge from a duck on his own long-ago arrival, and sits agonisingly one position shy of the Full House — a duck at every batting slot from 1 to 11. Number ten today; the completists among us note he's collecting the set. And, rather charmingly, the calendar repeats itself again — Ian Webb was making his 1978 duck on this same date too, clearly a day the fixture gods reserve for ducks. 📊 Week in Summary One match, two ducks, no pairs and no family affairs to report this time round — a modest but tidy contribution to the season's tally. Both fell in the same innings against the same attack, proof that misfortune, like tea, is best served in company. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Matt Large — 5 ducks / 19 innings (26.32%) 2. Simon Thirkell — 3 ducks / 8 innings (37.5%) 3. Stewart Morrison — 2 ducks / 11 innings (18.18%) 4. Dave Todd — 2 ducks / 14 innings (14.29%) 5. Peter Whyte — 2 ducks / 14 innings (14.29%) Simon Thirkell's duck rate remains the most alarming statistic in Kent. Can anyone dislodge him before the season closes? The next fixture awaits, bats poised, ducks circling. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Three fixtures, three ducks, and the exclusive zero club welcomes two familiar faces plus one very grand old member indeed. Saturday 24 September 1st XI at home to Malta Maniacs – Other At number five, Dave Todd was bowled by C Reynolds and duly checked back into the club for the second time this season. It's his 7th career duck from 43 innings, parking him 91st of 1109 in the all-time table — level company with A Startup (1868–1882), David Piper, J Barclay, Tony Levick and Tony Tipples, all also sat on exactly 7. Fittingly, on this very date back in 1977, club great Jim Hall was also dismissed for nought, against West Farleigh CC — Jim finished his career with 67 ducks and sits 2nd all-time, so Dave has a fair way still to travel. Wednesday 28 September Midweek XI away to Penshurst Park CC Opener Peter Whyte went early, bowled by M Latter, for his 2nd duck of the season and 4th of his career from 32 innings — 137th of 1109 all-time. On this same date in 1952, Ray Tippen also made a duck against Linton Park CC, one of the four he retired on as a paid-up Retirement Duck club member. Further down the order, number nine Jon Harris was run out for nought — a comparatively modest addition given the company he keeps. It's "only" his 1st duck of the season but his 63rd career duck, an almost unfathomable total that holds him at 3rd of 1109 all-time. Jon is a fully decorated honours-board resident — Debutante Duck, three-time Duck of the Year (1976, 1980, 1981), and proud owner of a Full House, a duck at every position from one to eleven. He shares Quacking Together honours with both Jim Hall and Trevor Back, and he's not alone in the family either — fellow duck-club member Richard Harris carries 36 career noughts of his own. Same fixture, same date, same on-this-day company as Peter — Ray Tippen, back in 1952 against Linton Park CC. Week in Summary Three ducks from three matches — the 1st XI's clash and the Midweek trip both drew blood, while a third fixture escaped entirely unplucked. Not a vintage haul, but quality over quantity: one veteran edging ever closer to the summit of the all-time charts is always worth the price of admission. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Matt Large — 5 ducks, 18 innings (27.78%) - Simon Thirkell — 3 ducks, 8 innings (37.5%) - Dave Todd — 2 ducks, 14 innings (14.29%) - Peter Whyte — 2 ducks, 14 innings (14.29%) - Alan Boyns — 2 ducks, 17 innings (11.76%) Simon Thirkell's strike rate remains the one to fear — over a third of his innings end in nought. Matt Large leads on volume, but Simon leads on pure menace. 🍩 The next fixture always has room for new arrivals to the club. Bring your bat. Or, in the spirit of the thing, don't bother. 🦆0️⃣🏏

The season winds toward its close but the exclusive zero club never rests, and the 1st XI supplied two fresh inductees across the weekend. 🏏 Saturday – Old Chelmsfordians CC Dave Charlton, in at six, departed caught and bowled by Garrett — his 1st duck of the season and the 1st of a career now five innings young, slotting him in at 334th of 1109 in the all-time reckoning. Not a bad way to introduce yourself to the honours board, even if the board would rather you didn't. There's poultry in the blood too — sibling Sean Charlton already carries 2 career ducks of his own, so the family clearly has previous. Neatly, on this very date back in 1972, club legend John Thirkell — top of the all-time list on a staggering 90 ducks and a five-time Duck of the Year — also walked back for nought, against Mersham Hatch. Sixteen years apart, same fate, same date. The calendar has a sense of humour. 🏏 Sunday – Anchorians CC

Two fixtures on the books this weekend, and for once the exclusive zero club had absolutely nothing to show for it. Every batsman who walked to the crease across both matches contrived, infuriatingly, to actually get off the mark. The art of not scoring, it seems, took the weekend off. A quiet weekend on the honours board, then — no fresh entries, no milestones nudged closer, not so much as a golden duck to whisper about. The ducks evaded capture entirely, which frankly feels like a bigger anomaly than half the achievements we usually report. Somewhere out there, Matt Large will be rueing a rare wasted opportunity to add to his tally. Normal service, we trust, resumes next weekend. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard — 1988 - 🥇 Matt Large — 5 ducks from 14 innings (35.71%) - 🥈 Simon Thirkell — 3 ducks from 8 innings (37.5%) - 🥉 Alan Boyns — 2 ducks from 15 innings (13.33%) - A Pay — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) — nowhere to go but down - Martin Larkin — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) — a flawless start, of sorts Simon Thirkell's 37.5% strike rate remains the most alarming number in the division, and Matt Large sits pretty atop the pile with room to extend his lead. A Pay and Martin Larkin, meanwhile, are both currently averaging a nought a game — early days, but the club statisticians are watching closely. Two matches down without a single addition is a rare and slightly suspicious result. Roll on the next fixture — someone, surely, will restore order and give the Duck Club something to celebrate. 🦆🏏

A quiet week on the tour circuit — two matches, and the Duck Club's ledger shows just the one fresh entry. Quality over quantity, as they say in this most dubious of pursuits. 🏏 Tour XI Away at Mullion CC on the 4th, A Pay walked to the crease at number 2 and departed bowled by Stephen Green without troubling the scorers. It's the very first entry in the record books for A Pay — a proper baptism straight onto the Debutante Duck board for a duck on debut, and with 1988 already stamping a One and Done season alongside it, this may yet prove a career written in full by a single nought. A Pay also picks up a place, presumptive for now, on the club's Retirement Duck honours board — a status only the passing seasons can confirm or quietly retract. That solitary duck moves A Pay to 289th of 1109 in the all-time standings — and, delightfully, on this very day back in 1949, P- Martin was doing exactly the same thing against East Peckham & Nettlestead CC. Some things, it seems, are written in the calendar. 📋 Week in Summary One duck from two matches — the hunters came home with a light bag this week, but a debut duck is never nothing. A Pay's introduction to senior cricket will not be forgotten in a hurry, however much they might wish otherwise. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Matt Large — 14 inns, 5 ducks (35.71%) - Simon Thirkell — 8 inns, 3 ducks (37.50%) - Alan Boyns — 14 inns, 2 ducks (14.29%) - A Pay — 1 inn, 1 duck (100.00%) - Martin Larkin — 1 inn, 1 duck (100.00%) Matt Large holds a firm grip on top spot, but with A Pay and Martin Larkin both boasting a flawless 100% record so far, the season race is far from settled. Next fixture, the hunt continues — bring your bat, and bring your sense of humour. 🦆🍩

Four fixtures were on the card this week but the Duck Club found the going lean — only the touring party out at Beacon CC, Cornwall troubled the honours board, and troubled it twice in the same innings. 🏏 Tour XI — away to Beacon CC, Cornwall Simon Thirkell departed for nought batting at four, bowled by J Gerry — his third duck of the campaign and his 21st for the club in 85 innings, good enough for 36th on the all-time list. He now stands level with the "50 Before a 50" set (59 ducks await, high score a modest 48), a Duck of the Year alumnus from 1983, and a fixture of both the Ducks on the Road and Tourist Duck top tens — fitting form for a man touring Cornwall in search of precisely nothing. Quacking, it must be said, runs thick in the Thirkell bloodline, with a parent, two siblings and a cousin all paid-up members of this exclusive zero club between them. Ian Brattle followed not long after, stumped by K Jenkin off the bowling of D Tonkin, for his first duck of the season and 21st of his career from 61 innings — 34th all-time. Ian is a card-carrying "Debutante Duck", a veteran of "Ducks in a Row" (seven on the trot, a feat of sustained futility), and one half of "Only Two Quacks" alongside Michael Beeney — a résumé of failure any club statistician would be proud to file. Remarkably, both men can trace their nought to the very same date in club history — on this day in 1968, twenty years to the year, Paul Bowles also strolled back for a duck, against Bearsted CC, en route to a career 45 and 7th place all-time. The calendar, it seems, has a taste for anniversaries. 📊 Week in Brief Just two ducks from four matches — a lean haul by Duck Club standards, both delivered by the touring party out west while the home sides, most unusually, kept their bats occupied throughout. No pairs, no king ducks, no family affairs to report this week. Sometimes the ducks simply don't fly. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Matt Large — 5 ducks / 13 innings (38.5%) 2. Simon Thirkell — 3 ducks / 7 innings (42.9%) 3. Alan Boyns — 2 ducks / 13 innings (15.4%) 4. Martin Larkin — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 5. Paul Lines — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) The fixture list refills next week — plenty of scope yet for someone to join Simon and Ian on the wrong side of the scorebook. We'll be watching, as ever, with quiet delight. 🦆

A rare and troubling headline this week from Linton Park: the Duck Club's traps came back empty. Two fixtures played across the weekend, and not a single soul walked back for nought. Every batsman on show found the willingness, or perhaps just the luck, to trouble the scorers. The exclusive zero club, so often oversubscribed, held no induction ceremony this time round — no golden ducks, no pairs, no family affairs to report, nothing but eleven-a-side proof that even Linton Park can occasionally forget how to bat badly. Whether this represents a genuine improvement in technique or merely a temporary lapse in comic timing remains to be seen. The committee reminds all members that consistency of a very particular kind cannot be maintained through good form alone, and encourages a swift return to type next weekend. 🍩 A blank weekend for the honours board — but the season standings remain fiercely contested, and nobody's tally has gone anywhere. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Matt Large — 5 ducks / 11 innings (45.45%) 2. Simon Thirkell — 2 ducks / 5 innings (40.0%) 3. Alan Boyns — 2 ducks / 11 innings (18.18%) 4. Martin Larkin — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 4. Paul Lines — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) Matt Large remains the runaway leader of the 1988 hunting season, with Simon Thirkell keeping the chase alive on a rather alarming 40% strike rate of his own. Martin Larkin and Paul Lines, meanwhile, sit on a perfect record so far — early days, but the purists will be watching closely to see if either can maintain 100% ignominy through to the close of season. 📅 Looking ahead Rest assured, this drought will not last. The ducks are merely regrouping. Get down to the next fixture, take guard, and do your bit for the club — 0️⃣ and glory await. 🦆

Three fixtures on the fixture list this week, but the exclusive zero club kept its guest list short — every duck of the period came from one corner of the ground: the 1st XI's away day at Whitstable CC. Consistency, as ever, of a very particular kind. 🏏 1st XI — Whitstable CC (away) Simon Thirkell, in at 7, was bowled by Andy Simpson without troubling the scorers — his 2nd duck of the season and 20th of a fine career spanning 83 innings, good enough for 36th on the all-time list of 1,103. He's a long-standing member of the 50 Before a 50 board (59 ducks banked, high score still a tantalising 48) and a fixture of both the Ducks on the Road and Tourist Duck top tens — fitting, given where he found himself this week. Keep it in the family too: sibling Tim sits on 59 career ducks, Nigel on 39, and a forebear, John, on a formidable 90 — the Thirkell name is practically an honours board of its own. And by happy coincidence, on this very calendar date back in 1982 Malcolm Pay (1965–1988) also strolled back for nought, against St Lukes Maidstone CC — the ducks keep their own diary. Matt Large, at 9, went the more theatrical way — stumped I Hadfield, bowled I Marsh — for his 5th duck of the season and 18th of his career from 62 innings, 39th on the all-time roll. Crucially, that 5th makes him this week's provisional holder of Duck of the Year 1988, a title very much still in play. He's also a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from his first senior knock, and features on the Full House nearly-man, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens for good measure. Like his teammate, he shares this date in history with Malcolm Pay's 1982 effort — two Linton men, one shared anniversary, 106 years apart in nothing at all. 📅 Week in Summary Two ducks from three matches — the other two fixtures were strictly vegan affairs, not a feather ruffled. But what the week lacked in volume it made up in significance, with Matt Large staking an early claim on this year's top honour. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Matt Large — 11 inns, 5 ducks (45.45%) 2. Simon Thirkell — 5 inns, 2 ducks (40.0%) 3. Alan Boyns — 11 inns, 2 ducks (18.18%) 4. Martin Larkin — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) 5. Paul Lines — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) Matt Large sets the pace, but the season's far from over. Next fixture, the club watches on — bats poised, ducks circling. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Vegan Alert: A Quackless Sunday One fixture, eleven-plus batters, and not a single nought to show for it. The exclusive zero club sat idle this week — every player at the crease found their way off the mark, depriving the honours board of a single new entry. Triumph through adversity was, disappointingly, in short supply, because nobody supplied any adversity. Whether this was watchful defence, generous bowling, or simply a collective failure of nerve on the Duck Club's part, the archives will note 7th August 1988 as a rare and faintly suspicious clean sheet. The art of not scoring, it seems, took the day off. Rest assured — this drought never lasts. The ducks are out there, biding their time. 0️⃣ Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 0️⃣ Season 1988 — top 5 🥇 Matt Large — 4 ducks in 10 innings (40.0%) — an eye-watering rate, comfortably clear at the top and cricketing proof that consistency of a very particular kind is alive and well. 🥈 Alan Boyns — 2 ducks in 11 innings (18.18%) — quietly accumulating, the sort of steady presence the Duck Club relies on to keep the leaderboard honest. 🥉 Martin Larkin — 1 duck in 1 innings (100%) — a flawless start to his season's duck-hunting, if such a thing can be called a start. Paul Lines — 1 duck in 1 innings (100%) — joins Larkin on a perfect record, the two of them setting a standard nobody sensible should aspire to match. S Fielder — 1 duck in 1 innings (100%) — rounds out the top five, proof that in this club, one bad afternoon is all it takes to make the standings. 🏏 Onward to the next fixture, where normal service — and no doubt a fresh crop of naughty noughts — will surely resume. The ducks can't hide forever. 🦆

Slim pickings from the Duck Hunting Season this week, but quality over quantity — a touring side and a Wednesday night away day both did their bit for the exclusive zero club. 🏏 Saturday – Tour Match vs Kon UD Deventer CC (Holland) Batting at number 10 against the touring Dutchmen, Alan Boyns was caught D Toppin bowled J Werle, and duly checked into the club's least sought-after suite. It's his 2nd of the season and a tidy 6th career duck from 39 innings — 95th on the all-time chart of 1,103, a position he now shares with a healthy queue of club names old and new. On this very day back in 1972, Andrew Moss — a Retirement Duck club member who turned out for Linton from 1968 to 1987 — was also walking back against Glynde & Beddingham CC without troubling the scorers. Some things really do come round again. 🌙 Wednesday – Midweek XI vs Bexley CC The Midweek boys travelled to Bexley and welcomed a brand new recruit to the honours board in style. S Fielder, batting at 5 on his very first outing for the club, was caught John Sear bowled Richard Holliman — a genuine Debutante Duck, the purest possible way to arrive. First ball faced, first innings played, first duck recorded — 0️⃣ for 0️⃣, a career average already carved in stone. On this same date in 1952, Gordon Fenner — who went on to rack up 34 career ducks between 1941 and 1973, good for 15th all time — made his own contribution to the noughts column. Not a bad club to be inducted into on day one. 📋 Week in Summary Three matches, two ducks, and a lone survivor in between — Linton's other fixture this week apparently decided consistency of the scoring kind was more its style. Two very different flavours of duck though: one from an old hand quietly padding out an already respectable tally, one from a debutant announcing himself in the most Duck Club way possible. The art of not scoring remains alive and well on both sides of the experience spectrum. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Matt Large — 10 inns, 4 ducks (40.0%) - Alan Boyns — 11 inns, 2 ducks (18.18%) - Martin Larkin — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) - Paul Lines — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) - S Fielder — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) A trio locked at a flawless 100% strike rate for the wrong kind of record — plenty of season left for someone to make a break for it, and plenty of time for the rest of the club to join them. Next fixture, same invitation as always: bat first, ask questions later. 🏏🍩

A quiet week in the paddock. Two matches played across the period and the Duck Club harvest amounted to just the one specimen — proof, if any were needed, that even a "very particular kind of consistency" needs the fixtures to cooperate. 🏏 Midweek XI — Moreton CC Peter Whyte, first-drop at number two, departed for nought — bowled by Mike Howat. No first-baller ignominy here, Peter got bat on a few before the leather found the timber, so no golden duck honours to hand out, just the plain, honest article. It's Peter's 1st duck of the 1988 season and his 3rd for the club from 26 innings, tucking him in at 174th of 1098 in the all-time standings — respectable mid-table anonymity in a list nobody wants to top. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1957, D- Jordan also strolled back for nought against Folkestone CC — the second of what would become a modest career haul of two. Different decade, same shape of walk back to the pavilion. 📋 Week in Summary - 2 matches played, 1 duck recorded — the ducks largely evaded capture this week - Midweek XI carried the entire burden of representation for the club's less celebrated batting achievements - A rare weekend where the Duck Club's minute book gets a single, tidy entry rather than a scrawl 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Matt Large — 9 innings, 4 ducks (44.4%) - Martin Larkin — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Paul Lines — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Steve Cheale — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Simon Thirkell — 4 innings, 1 duck (25%) Matt Large holds a commanding lead at the head of the season standings, though three names are quietly perfect on a 100% strike rate — the purest form of the art, however small the sample. Next fixture awaits, and with it the inevitable fresh contributions to the exclusive zero club. The bowlers will be sharpening up, the ducks will be circling. Same time next week, same dubious distinction on offer. 🦆🍩

A single fixture on the books this week, and — brace yourselves — not a single nought to show for it. Somewhere out there, eleven batsmen contrived to trouble the scorers, however modestly, and the Duck Club's nets came back empty. It happens. Even the most prolific hunting grounds have their fallow weeks, and this was one of them. No golden ducks, no pairs, no family affairs to report — just eleven Linton players quietly, unremarkably, getting off the mark. Frankly, a bit boring, but we shall recover. The season standings, meanwhile, are unaffected and remain a source of considerable interest for those still chasing glory through adversity. 0️⃣ Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏏 - Matt Large — 9 innings, 4 ducks, a robust 44% strike rate. The clear pace-setter this season and a man clearly playing his own version of the game. - Martin Larkin — 1 innings, 1 duck, a pristine 100%. Efficient work if you can get it — straight in, straight out, no messing about. - Paul Lines — 1 innings, 1 duck, also 100%. Joins Larkin in the small but perfectly formed club of players who have never once bothered the scorers. - Steve Cheale — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% and counting. A flawless start to whatever this season turns out to be for him. - Simon Thirkell — 4 innings, 1 duck, 25%. The most restrained of this week's top five, showing admirable — if occasional — resistance to the art of not scoring. A leaderboard heavy on early-season perfectionists and light on volume, which tells its own story. Plenty of time yet for Matt Large's rivals to catch him, and plenty of time for this week's spared batsmen to make amends next time out. 🥇 Roll on the next fixture — the ducks may have evaded capture this week, but the Duck Club's nets are always open, and Linton Park's bowlers rarely stay generous for long. 🦆

Two fixtures out on the paddock this weekend, but the exclusive zero club kept its guest list mercifully short — only one gentleman answered the call. Quality over quantity, as ever. 1st XI — home to Morden Village CC, Sunday 10th Coming in at number 10 with the innings winding down, Steve Cheale departed b I Russell for nought — his 1st duck of the 1988 season and the 8th of a career now spanning 26 innings, good enough (or bad enough) for 89th of 1097 in the all-time table. Steve is also a long-standing name on the Retirement Duck board, that most solemn of honours reserved for those whose last recorded innings ended in a blob — though the club stresses this is a historical distinction, not a prediction, and Steve is very much still opening his legs to seamers as we speak. A chip off the family tree too — brother David Cheale carries 3 career ducks of his own, so the surname clearly travels well in these parts. Neatly enough, on this very day back in 1954, Robert Muir (1950–1963) also trudged off for a duck against A.Trembeths, one of 3 in a career that sits him 178th all-time. Some anniversaries are best celebrated with a bat under the arm and a shake of the head. Saturday's fixture, meanwhile, passed off entirely duck-free — a rare vegan affair for the club, and no doubt a disappointment to the connoisseurs among us. Week in Summary Two matches, one duck, and the zero club proving elusive prey this time round. Consistency, as always, of a very particular kind — just not quite enough of it this week. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Matt Large — 9 inns, 4 ducks (44.4%) - Martin Larkin — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) - Paul Lines — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) - Steve Cheale — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) - Simon Thirkell — 3 inns, 1 duck (33.3%) Martin and Paul arrive fresh at the summit on a flawless if brief 100%, while Steve's fresh addition slots him straight into contention. The season race remains wide open. Next fixture beckons — bats at the ready, ducks at the crease. We watch, we wait, we celebrate. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Saturday 25 June 1st XI away at Meopham CC A quiet weekend for the exclusive zero club, but not an entirely fowl-free one. Matt Large, walking out at number 11, departed run out without so much as troubling the scorers — the solitary duck of the period, and a timely reminder that last man in doesn't always mean safety first. It's his 4th duck of the 1988 season and his 17th for the club overall, in 59 innings — good enough to keep him lodged at 40th of 1097 in the all-time standings. With Duck of the Year 1988 already glinting on his mantelpiece as a live race, and last year's crown (Duck of the Year 1987) still warm, Matt is fast becoming the man to beat this campaign. He remains a card-carrying member of the Debutante Duck club from his very first innings years back, and — fittingly, given today's away fixture — this one pads out his standing on the Ducks on the Road top 10, alongside his usual lurking presence in the Lone Duck top 10 and his nearly-there status in the Full House charts, just one position shy of ducking in all eleven slots for the club. A collector's item in the making. Neat historical footnote: on this day in 1978, Malcolm Pay also made a duck, against Marden CC, Kent — a decade apart, same calendar date, same walk of shame. Malcolm finished his 1965–1988 career on 26 ducks, good for 25th all time, so Matt has some catching up to do on him yet. Sunday 26 June The second fixture of the weekend proved a frustratingly vegan affair for duck hunters — no additions to report, ducks evaded capture entirely. 📊 Week in Summary Two matches, one duck. Not the bumper harvest the club has come to expect, but quality over quantity — a genuine season-race contender adding to his tally is worth more than a bushel of nervous number nines. The zero club remains, as ever, a place of dubious distinction, and Matt Large is doing his level best to keep the honours board busy. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1988 1. Martin Larkin — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 2. Paul Lines — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 3. Matt Large — 8 innings, 4 ducks (50%) 4. Simon Thirkell — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) 5. Dave Todd — 6 innings, 1 duck (16.67%) Matt Large leads the pack on outright numbers, though Martin Larkin and Paul Lines are making a mockery of percentages with perfect — or rather, imperfect — records so far. 🦆 Next fixture awaits, and with it, the club's usual invitation: pad up, take guard, and try your very best not to add your name below. History suggests someone will. See you all out there.

Five wickets fell for the sum total of nought this week as the exclusive zero club welcomed new instalments across two fixtures. Two matches did the damage entirely, proving once again that ducks, like buses, arrive in clusters. Midweek XI v Sevenoaks & District Wednesday CC (away) A grim procession through the middle-to-lower order at Sevenoaks saw three ducks fall inside the same innings. Martin Larkin (8) fell b S Hallbrook, his 1st of the season and 11th in a 67-innings career, good enough for 59th on the all-time list. Martin is a long-standing member of the Retirement Duck club, having bowed out on a nought in a previous farewell — an honour, once earned, that never expires. On this very day in 1935, Percy Brattle (1934–1973, 16 ducks, rank 42) was likewise trudging off against Bearsted CC — some things never change. Next in was Alan Boyns (9), undone b S Dillnutt for his 1st duck of the summer and 5th of a 36-innings career, rank 108. He too shares his date in history with Percy Brattle's 1935 effort against Bearsted — quacking company across the decades. And completing the set, Paul Lines (10) departed b S Hallbrook, his 1st duck this season and, remarkably, only his 1st in senior cricket from just 4 innings — rank 449 and a career now officially open for business. The Lines name is no stranger to these pages: father Bob carries 5 career ducks and brother David 4, so young Paul arrives with pedigree already installed. Same 1935 vintage from Percy Brattle for company. Sunday NVKC v Chestfield CC (away) Paul Gibson (3) went lbw b Clinton Wells for his 1st duck of the season, his 12th overall from 142 innings, sitting 54th all-time. On this day in 1955, Richard Harris (1940–1982, 36 ducks, rank 13) was suffering the same fate. At the other end of the order, last man Matt Large (11) fell b Richard Tolson — his 3rd duck of the season already, taking him to 16 career ducks from 58 innings and 41st on the all-time roll. Matt is building quite the trophy cabinet: Debutante Duck, back-to-back Duck of the Year in 1987 and now leading the charge again in 1988, plus places in the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, and a nearly-man Full House with 10 of 11 positions covered. One more berth and the set is complete. Richard Harris's 1955 duck against Hambros Bank keeps him company across the years. Week in Summary Five ducks, four matches, two innings did all the work — proof that when the ducks decide to visit, they bring friends. The other fixtures passed quietly, the zeros presumably resting up for next week. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Matt Large — 7 inns, 3 ducks (42.9%) - Martin Larkin — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) - Paul Lines — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) - Simon Thirkell — 1 inn, 1 duck (100%) - Dave Todd — 6 inns, 1 duck (16.7%) Matt Large sits well clear at the top with the season still young — can anyone catch him before it's out? The middle order at Sevenoaks will want a word with itself before the next outing. Same time next week, same dubious honour up for grabs. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Two matches out on the paddock this weekend and the Duck Club had to work hard for its solitary catch — but work it did, and the exclusive zero club welcomes its latest arrival all the same. 🏏 Saturday 11th June — 1st XI v Maidstone YMCA CC (away) Opening the batting and setting the tone for absolutely nobody, Dave Todd departed caught J- Adams, bowled Rod Warboys, without so much as troubling the scoreboard attendant. A chastening way to start an innings from the top of the order, and proof that position one carries no immunity from the art of not scoring. It's Dave's 1st duck of the 1988 season and his 6th for the club overall, from 34 innings — a tally that plants him at 97th of 1095 in Linton Park's all-time roll of dishonour. Good company to be counted among. Neat symmetry too: on this very day back in 1978, Brian Woodcock — who turned out for the club 1976–1988 and finished with 4 ducks to his name (123rd of 1095 all-time) — also trudged off for nought against Leigh CC, Kent. A full decade apart, same calendar date, same walk of shame. The Duck Club keeps its ledgers long. Sunday's fixture, by contrast, was a disappointingly vegan affair — all 11 openers, middles and tailenders got off the mark, and the Duck Club's scouts came home empty-handed. 📊 Week in Summary One duck from two matches this weekend — a lean harvest by Duck Club standards, but a duck is a duck, and Dave Todd's solitary contribution was more than enough to keep the honours board ticking over. Quality over quantity, as the saying almost goes. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Matt Large — 6 innings, 2 ducks (33.33%) - Simon Thirkell — 1 innings, 1 duck (100.00%) - Dave Todd — 5 innings, 1 duck (20.00%) - David Castle — 15 innings, 1 duck (6.67%) Matt Large sets the early pace for 1988 with a brace already banked, but Simon Thirkell's perfect record so far is the kind of statistic that ages quickly — one good innings and it's gone. 🍩 Next fixture, next opportunity. The Duck Club never sleeps, and neither, evidently, do the bowlers of Kent. See you all out there — bat straight, or don't bother.

Two fixtures out on the park this weekend, and for once the exclusive zero club had absolutely nothing to show for it. Not a golden duck, not a plain one, not so much as a nervous nudge down the leg side that carried to a diving keeper. Eleven-plus batsmen per side, twenty-two-plus wickets on offer, and the noughts column stayed stubbornly, infuriatingly blank. 🍩 A Quiet Weekend for the Hunters Every man who walked to the crease across both matches got off the mark. Somewhere, the honours board let out a small sigh of relief — no fresh names to chisel in this week, no milestones ticking over, no near-misses to write up. Even the umpires, one imagines, found themselves with nothing dubious to adjudicate on. It happens. Even the most reliable of institutions has its off weeks, and the Duck Club is no exception — triumph through adversity works both ways, and this weekend the adversity simply declined to show up. Consider it a fixture in reserve: the ducks are out there somewhere, biding their time, and Linton Park bats rarely stay disciplined for long. 📊 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard — 1988 🥇 Matt Large — 5 innings, 2 ducks (40.0%) 🥈 Simon Thirkell — 1 innings, 1 duck (100.0%) 🥉 David Castle — 13 innings, 1 duck (7.69%) Simon Thirkell's solitary innings sitting at a flawless 100% is either the boldest start to a Duck Hunting campaign in years or the luckiest man in Kent not to have batted again since. Matt Large leads on volume with two from five, a genuinely committed pace, while David Castle plays the long game — one duck in thirteen trips to the crease, patience personified, in the wrong direction. 🏏 Looking Ahead A blank weekend is not a retirement notice — it's a loading screen. With bat in hand and ego intact, someone at Linton Park is due a humbling any day now. The Duck Club will be watching next weekend's fixtures with its usual mixture of hope and mild malice. Until then — keep those front pads out of the way, gentlemen. We'll be ready. 0️⃣🦆

Midweek cricket, and the Duck Club logbook records exactly one entry — but what it lacks in volume it makes up for in pedigree. 🏏 Midweek XI v Burghill & Tillington CC (Home) Batting at number nine, Matt Large departed bowled S Wilton, and with it collected his 2nd duck of the season and 15th of an illustrious career spanning 55 innings — good enough for 44th on the all-time list of 1,095 hopefuls. Rarefied company for a Wednesday afternoon. Matt is, of course, no stranger to these pages. A card-carrying member of the Debutante Duck fraternity — his very first Linton innings, years back now, ended in the traditional manner — he went on to claim outright Duck of the Year honours in 1987, and with this his second blob of the current campaign, he's already making early noise in the 1988 race too. Add to that his standing presence in the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, and you have a man equally committed to failing home and away. He also continues his slow-burn pursuit of the Full House — a duck at every position from 1 to 11 — with only one stubborn slot left to fill. Position nine is now very much ticked off. History, meanwhile, was watching closely: on this very day in 1903, the Reverend W A Carr also trudged back for nought, against 1st Innings Maidstone CC — the only blemish on an otherwise tidy seven-year career between 1896 and 1903, and still good for 468th on the all-time roll. Some things, it seems, are eternal. 📅 Week in Summary One match, one duck — a quiet week by Duck Club standards, more of a gentle simmer than the usual rolling boil. No pairs, no family affairs, no king ducks to report. The rest of the Midweek XI, disappointingly, all found their way off the mark. We shall allow it, just this once. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Simon Thirkell — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 2. Matt Large — 2 ducks / 4 innings (50%) 3. David Castle — 1 duck / 11 innings (9.09%) Simon Thirkell sits top on a flawless — if brief — record, while Matt Large presses his case as the season's most reliable source of noughts. David Castle, for now, is merely dabbling. Same time next fixture, ducks permitting. The season is young, the bowlers are keen, and there's always room in the club for one more. 🍩🦆

A quiet weekend on the Linton Park front, I'm afraid. Two matches came and went across the 21st and 22nd of May, and not a single duck was laid at either ground. The exclusive zero club held no inductions, no re-elections, and no fresh entries to the honours board — every batsman who walked to the crease this weekend contrived, infuriatingly, to get off the mark. Whether this was superior technique or simply a shortage of hungry opening bowlers is not for this correspondent to speculate. What can be said with confidence is that the art of not scoring took a rare weekend off, and the Duck Club committee is already looking nervously at next week's fixture list for a correction. 🍩 Nil ducks. Two matches. A statistical anomaly the club will not tolerate for long. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard — 1988 top 5 - 🥇 Simon Thirkell — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - 🥈 Matt Large — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33% - 🥉 David Castle — 10 innings, 1 duck, 10.0% Simon Thirkell sits imperiously atop the table on a flawless duck rate, though with just the one innings to his name he'll want to be careful — a single run at the next time of asking and that immaculate record is gone forever. Matt Large and David Castle lurk behind, patient as ever, proof that the season is young and the ducks are merely resting. So there it is — a blank week, but the calm before what is surely a fowl-filled fixture just around the corner. Get your bats out, Linton, because somewhere out there a golden duck is waiting to happen. 0️⃣🏏

A modest catch this week, but two quality specimens hooked at Battle CC to keep the exclusive zero club ticking over nicely. 🏏 1st XI at Battle CC Opening the batting, and in fairly short order the whole conversation about survival, David Castle was bowled by Tony Macniven-Young without so much as a squeak on the board. It's his 1st duck of the season and the 11th of a growing career collection, good enough for 56th on the all-time list of 1094 hopefuls — and another entry for his place among the Tourist Duck top 10, proof that noughts travel just as well away from home. Neatly, on this very day back in 1968, Fred Greenfield was doing precisely the same thing against Reeds CC, en route to 23 career ducks and a spot at number 31 all-time — Fred, as it happens, later bowed out on a duck himself, a fully paid-up Retirement Duck club man. Down at number 8, Simon Thirkell fared no better, bowled by Dave Carter for his 1st duck of the season and 19th of an accomplished career — the 36th most prolific duck-collector in Linton's 1094-strong history. Simon already holds a place on the Duck of the Year 1983 board and features in both the Ducks on the Road and Tourist Duck top tens, and remains an as-yet-unclaimed candidate for the fabled 50 Before a 50 honour. He comes from good duck-collecting stock too — father John sits on 90 career ducks, brothers Tim and Nigel on 59 and 39 respectively, so failure runs handsomely in the family. Fittingly, Simon shares his on-this-day company with Fred Greenfield as well, busy not scoring against Reeds CC on this exact date in 1968. 📊 Week in Brief Two matches, two ducks, both from the 1st XI at Battle CC — a tidy, if slightly monotonous, haul. No pairs, no family affairs, no king ducks to report this time round. Sometimes the art of not scoring is simply about getting the basics right. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Simon Thirkell — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Matt Large — 3 innings, 1 duck (33.33%) - David Castle — 8 innings, 1 duck (12.5%) Simon leads the way on a perfect record so far — early days yet, and the season has plenty of ducks left to lay. Roll on the next fixture, when no doubt a fresh batch of Linton batsmen will queue up to make their own dubious contribution to history. 🦆0️⃣

A quiet weekend at the crease, ducklings. Two fixtures came and went across Saturday and Sunday, and — remarkably — not a single soul troubled the scorers with a nought. Every LPCC bat that took guard this weekend found its way off the mark, leaving the Zero Club's ledger untouched and its members mildly affronted. It happens. Even the most dedicated student of the art of not scoring has an off week, in the sense of actually scoring. The pond was calm, the quacking silent, and for one weekend only, competence reigned at Linton Park. Do not get used to it. 📋 The Week in Summary - Matches played: 2 - Ducks recorded: 0 - Vibe: suspiciously professional 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Matt Large — 1 duck from 3 innings (33.33%) Matt currently sits alone at the summit of the 1988 charts, an early-season pace-setter with nobody yet nipping at his heels. A rather lonely throne — the Duck Club abhors a vacuum, and with the season still young there is ample time for company to arrive. 🦆 Rest assured, this drought is purely temporary. The season is long, the bowling is sharp, and somewhere out there a good length delivery has your name on it. See you all at the next fixture — the ducks will be back, and this correspondent will be watching closely.

A modest weekend and start to the week for Linton's fowl-hunters, with just two fixtures on the board and only one name added to the ledger. Saturday's outing passed by entirely unmolested — the whole side got off the mark and the zero club stayed locked. It was Monday's trip that broke the duck-free run. 🏏 Monday 2 May – 1st XI v Bearsted CC (home) In at number nine, Matt Large saw out precisely two deliveries before Matt Wilson rearranged his stumps — no golden duck this, Large at least had the courtesy to trouble the bowler for a couple of balls before departing. It's his first duck of the 1988 season and the 14th of a long and storied Linton career now spanning 53 innings, good enough for 47th on the all-time list of 1093 — rarefied company indeed. Large is, of course, no stranger to these parts. A paid-up member of the exclusive Debutante Duck club, having opened his Linton account with a nought many seasons back, he now returns as reigning Duck of the Year for 1987 and is already making a strong early case to retain the crown in 1988 too — back-to-back ignominy of the rarest kind, and one that suggests this year's race may effectively be over before it's begun. He's also a fixture in the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, and remains the nearly-man of the Full House honour, having now blighted ten of the eleven batting positions in his time — only one more berth to go, Matt. A pleasing historical footnote for the romantics among us: on this very calendar date back in 1959, Frank Brattle also departed for nought against Bearsted CC — the great man went on to close out his 1937–1971 Linton career with 38 ducks, good for 11th all-time. Bearsted, it seems, has form for the second of May. 📊 Week in Summary A quiet one — a single duck from two matches, but a quality entrant, with a genuine Duck of the Year candidate carrying the flag almost single-handedly. Consistency of a very particular kind. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Matt Large — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% Early days yet, and the top of the table is Large's alone to lose. Roll on the next fixture — the zero club is always recruiting. 🦆🍩

A rare and faintly embarrassing headline this week from Linton Park: the ducks evaded capture entirely. Two fixtures played across the weekend, twenty-two-plus batting cards filled, and not a single soul found their way into the exclusive zero club. Every man who walked to the crease walked back again having troubled the scorer at least once. Scandalous, really — the art of not scoring is a proud Linton tradition and this weekend it went entirely unpractised. 🏏 The Weekend Saturday and Sunday both came and went without a nought to their name. No golden ducks, no pairs, certainly no king pairs — the sort of weekend that will not trouble the honours board, the Hall of Fame, or indeed anyone's nerves. Whether this is a triumph of application or simply a temporary ceasefire in hostilities between bat and ball remains to be seen. The Duck Club committee views it with mild suspicion. 0️⃣ Duck Hunting Season leaderboard Early days yet for the 1988 campaign — the season's charge sheet is still blank, with no innings on record to rank. A clean slate for everyone, ducklings and legends alike. Give it time. 🍩 Looking Ahead Rest assured, this drought is not expected to last — form is temporary, but the duck is eternal. Members are reminded that consistency of a very particular kind is only ever one thin edge or one careless waft away, and the committee will be watching next weekend's fixtures with great anticipation and, frankly, a little hope. Until then — bats up, heads down, and here's to someone, anköunquestionably going to let the club down soon enough. 🦆