🦆 The Duck Pond

A quiet weekend for the hunting fraternity, and not the good kind of quiet. Two fixtures came and went across the closing weekend of the 1954 season and, remarkably, not a single soul walked back for nought. Every batsman who took guard troubled the scorer at least once — a state of affairs the Duck Club can only regard with deep suspicion. Bats were middled, singles were nurdled, and not one single dismissal for a duck presented itself for the honours board's consideration. Whether this is due to a sudden and alarming outbreak of competence, or simply two matches where the ducks saw the beaters coming and scattered for the reeds, we cannot say. What we can say is that the season's tally sits exactly where it did last week, and the regulars atop the leaderboard will have enjoyed the rare pleasure of a weekend off from scrutiny. Let it be noted for the record: 0 ducks, from 2 matches, is itself a result of a very particular kind — the art of not scoring nothing at all. Fleeting, no doubt. The season is not done with anybody yet. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 John Thirkell — 7 ducks from 24 innings (29.17%). Still setting the pace, and by some distance. 🥈 Richard Harris — 5 ducks from 19 innings (26.32%). Breathing down Thirkell's neck. 🥉 Bob Arnold — 4 ducks from 15 innings (26.67%), the sharpest duck rate of the podium places. 4️⃣ William Blight — 4 ducks from 22 innings (18.18%), grinding it out the harder way. 5️⃣ Gerald Wright — 3 ducks from 7 innings, a positively alarming 42.86% strike rate for those watching the wrong kind of average. 0️⃣ The exclusive zero club held no induction ceremony this week — but nobody hands back their membership either. Next time out, someone will oblige. The ducks always come home to roost. 🏏🍩

A quiet weekend for the exclusive zero club, members. Two fixtures played, and not a single soul troubled the scorers with a nought to their name. Every bat in action found at least one run to its credit — the art of not scoring, it seems, took the weekend off. We shan't pretend to be anything but disappointed. The Duck Club thrives on adversity, and adversity was in short supply. Still, a fallow weekend is no disaster — the season presses on, and with it the near-certainty that someone, somewhere, will soon nick one behind for nought and restore order to the universe. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏆 1. John Thirkell — 24 innings, 7 ducks, 29.17% 2. Richard Harris — 19 innings, 5 ducks, 26.32% 3. Bob Arnold — 15 innings, 4 ducks, 26.67% 4. William Blight — 21 innings, 4 ducks, 19.05% 5. Gerald Wright — 7 innings, 3 ducks, 42.86% 🍩 John Thirkell holds firm at the summit with a commanding lead, though Gerald Wright's eye-watering 42.86% strike rate for nought remains the most efficient operation in the club — seven innings, three ducks, barely a run to show for it. Consistency of a very particular kind. Do not be fooled into thinking the ducks have gone extinct, they are merely regrouping. Next weekend's fixtures offer fresh opportunity for arrivals, returns and the odd golden humiliation. The 0️⃣ awaits. Pads on, gentlemen — normal service will resume shortly. 🦆🏏

Two fixtures over the weekend, and the Duck Club's harvest was thin on the ground — but never let it be said that quality doesn't count for more than quantity in this exclusive zero club. 1st XI — Old Roffensians (11 September, home) Batting at three, Len Conway fell to the bowling of Snell, adding his name to the weekend's short but distinguished honours list. It's his 2nd duck of the 1954 season and, remarkably, his 2nd in a career that stretches to just 4 innings — a 50% strike rate for nought that most of the club would consider showing off. Len now sits at 98th of 650 in the all-time standings, and carries the Debutante Duck board to his name, his very first innings for the club having ended in the same fashion. A proud family tradition of starting as you mean to go on. For company, Len draws level on 2 career ducks with A S Day, who plied his trade — and his lack of it — for Linton between 1944 and 1949, racking up his pair in 11 innings and sitting one place above Len at 69th all-time. Different eras, same dignified failure to trouble the scorers. The rest of the weekend Everywhere else, bat met ball with irritating success. The 1st XI's second fixture and whatever quietly unfolded elsewhere passed without further contribution to the cause — a rare weekend where the ducks, by and large, evaded capture. One nought from two matches is a lean return, and the Duck Club will be hoping for a more generous harvest before the season's out. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 John Thirkell — 7 ducks in 23 innings (30.43%) 🥈 Richard Harris — 5 ducks in 19 innings (26.32%) 🥉 Bob Arnold — 4 ducks in 15 innings (26.67%) 4️⃣ William Blight — 4 ducks in 21 innings (19.05%) 5️⃣ Gerald Wright — 3 ducks in 7 innings (42.86%) — the purest rate in the top five, for those keeping score on the art of not scoring Gerald's percentage is the one to watch — three failures from seven trips to the crease is the sort of consistency the rest of the top five can only admire from a respectful distance. 🏏 Next weekend brings fresh opportunity for glory-through-adversity. The zero club never sleeps — see you at the crease, or more likely, on the way back from it. 🦆0️⃣

A single fixture on the books this week, away trade forgotten, as the 1st XI hosted Gillingham CC, Kent — and Gillingham's bowlers found the home dressing room in generous mood. Four ducks recorded, three of them falling in a tidy little cluster. 1st XI v Gillingham CC, Kent (home) John Larking opened up and didn't last, bowled by J Tansley for his very first LPCC duck — a debut entry on the nought column in just his 8th innings, landing him 215th of 650 in the all-time list. Curiously, this very date has previous: on 5 September 1953, John Thirkell was also trudging off for nought, that time against Yalding CC. History, it seems, likes this fixture week. Then O Barden got to work, and got to work thoroughly. Number six John Thirkell fell to him for a 7th duck of the season, his 26th in an LPCC career now 150 innings deep — a total that keeps him imperiously parked at #1 on the all-time chart. Thirkell already carries Duck of the Year honours from 1952 and, on this season's evidence, is mounting a serious defence of the 1954 crown too. He's a fixture of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens besides, with shared quacking history alongside Bob Arnold and William Buck. On this same day in 1953, J Barclay was likewise dismissed for nought against Yalding — Barclay finished his short career on exactly 7, precisely where Thirkell now sits for the season alone. O Barden wasn't done. Richard Harris, in at seven, followed his captain back for a 5th duck of the campaign, taking him to 19 career ducks from 96 innings and into 2nd place all-time — Thirkell's shadow lengthens behind him. Like Larking, Harris finds company on this calendar date in Thirkell's 1953 effort at Yalding. And to complete the set, John Abnett went at eight, O Barden's third scalp in a row, for his 1st career duck in only his 2nd senior innings. He arrives with a "Ducks in a Row" board credit already to his name for a run of four in swift succession — a man clearly not afraid of type-casting. Another entry for the 5 September file, joining Thirkell's 1953 quack at Yalding. Week in brief: one match, four ducks, and O Barden helping himself to three victims on the spin — Thirkell, Harris and Abnett walking back in convenient single file. A tidy afternoon's work for Gillingham, a less tidy one for the LPCC top order. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - John Thirkell — 23 inns, 7 ducks, 30.43% - Richard Harris — 19 inns, 5 ducks, 26.32% - Bob Arnold — 15 inns, 4 ducks, 26.67% - William Blight — 20 inns, 4 ducks, 20.0% - Gerald Wright — 7 inns, 3 ducks, 42.86% Thirkell holds the top spot but Gerald Wright's strike rate should worry him. Next fixture beckons — the zero club never closes its books for long. 🥇🍩

A vintage weekend for the exclusive zero club, as the 1st XI alone contributed six names to the ledger across two fixtures. Get comfortable — this is a long one. Saturday 28th — away at Hunton Wanderers CC Five ducks in a single innings is the sort of thing that gets a club talked about, and Linton obliged in style. Curiously, on this very same date back in 1893 one W W Tarrance also trudged back for nought against The Mote CC — proof, if any were needed, that the 28th of August has form. Basil Sears opened proceedings and fell lbw to R Venner, his 1st duck of the season and 6th of an 88-innings career — good enough for 18th on the all-time list. William Blight followed at first drop, caught off J Ludden. His 4th duck of the season is also, remarkably, his 4th career duck — every single one of them arriving in 1954. A perfect record of imperfection, and 49th on the all-time chart. Then the club's reigning duck royalty, John Thirkell, caught off R Venner for his 6th of the campaign and 25th of a 149-innings career. Top of the entire all-time standings, back-to-back Duck of the Year in 1952 and 1954, a fixture of the Lone Duck and Homebody Duck top tens, and a road warrior too via Ducks on the Road — Thirkell doesn't just collect ducks, he curates them. Richard Harris was bowled by J Ludden for his 4th of the season and 18th of his career, sitting an unassuming 2nd on the all-time list — perennial bridesmaid to Thirkell. Closing the quintet, Alan Wilkes was caught off R Venner, his 3rd of the season and 4th career from just 17 innings — a healthy strike rate for all the wrong reasons. A paid-up member of the Only Two Quacks club, alongside both Bob Arnold and John Ames. Sunday 29th — home to D Hambrook XI Stan Wratten kept the family business ticking over, bowled by X Seal for his 2nd duck of the season and 9th of his career in 98 innings, 12th on the all-time list. He also carries a Quacking Together entry with John Ames — old habits. And by pleasing coincidence, on this same date in 1949 E Simmons also departed for nought, against Town Malling CC. Week in Summary Six ducks from two matches, all of them 1st XI — a clean sweep of ignominy this week, with no other team troubling the scorers... in a bad way. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. John Thirkell — 6 ducks, 22 inns, 27.27% 2. Bob Arnold — 4 ducks, 15 inns, 26.67% 3. Richard Harris — 4 ducks, 18 inns, 22.22% 4. William Blight — 4 ducks, 20 inns, 20.0% 5. Gerald Wright — 3 ducks, 7 inns, 42.86% Thirkell leads the chase, but with Gerald Wright quietly boasting the division's best strike rate, the race for Duck of the Year 1954 is far from settled. Next fixture, the ducks await — bring your bat, or don't bother. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Only two matches on the books across this short midweek stretch, but one of them made up for the other's silence in some style. 🏏 Saturday — v Charles Arkcoll (home), 1st XI Gordon Fenner did most of the damage here. First to fall was John Thirkell, in at four, stumped by Humphrey Morris off Fenner's bowling — his 5th duck of the season and 24th of an already storied career, which sits, remarkably, at number 1 of 649 in the all-time Linton Park charts. Nobody in the club's long history has mastered the art of not scoring quite so often. Thirkell arrives garlanded besides — Duck of the Year back in 1952, with this season's 1954 title already pencilled in against his name too — and a fixture on the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, plus Quacking Together honours shared with clubmates Bob Arnold and William Buck from outings gone by. Fenner struck again at number eight, bowling Michael Morton for nought — his 2nd duck of the season and 5th overall from 30 innings, edging him to 31st on the club's all-time roll. Last man in was Gerald Wright, bowled by John Ames without scoring — a bowler who, if the honours board is to be believed, has been troubling Duck Club members since at least 1949. It's Wright's 3rd of the season and 9th of his career from just 25 innings, over a third of his trips to the crease ending in nought, good enough for a lofty 11th all-time. Curiously, all three shared their moment with history: this very date in 1949 also saw Stan Wratten (1943–1954, 8 career ducks, 13th all-time) fall for nought against The Mote CC. Three quacks in 1954, one echo from 1949. The period's other fixture, meanwhile, passed off as a rare vegan affair — no fowl found. 📋 Week in Summary Three ducks from two matches, all delivered in a single innings at Charles Arkcoll. Gordon Fenner claims a brace of scalps for his figures, and the 1st XI's middle-to-late order duly obliged. A tidy little collapse, by the club's own dubious standards. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - John Thirkell — 21 innings, 5 ducks (23.81%) - Bob Arnold — 14 innings, 4 ducks (28.57%) - Gerald Wright — 6 innings, 3 ducks (50.0%) - Peter Weedon — 6 innings, 3 ducks (50.0%) - Richard Harris — 17 innings, 3 ducks (17.65%) 🥇 Thirkell leads the chase for Duck of the Year 1954, but with Wright and Weedon lurking on a fearsome 50% strike rate, nobody's safe yet. Next fixture, the exclusive zero club stands ready to welcome new members — or watch the old guard extend their reign. 🍩0️⃣

Two fixtures, two days, and the 1st XI alone did the honours this week — three fresh entries in the club's exclusive zero club, each one a small triumph of adversity dressed up as a batting failure. 🏏 1st XI Saturday 14th vs Marden Richard Harris departed for his 3rd duck of the season, caught P Sunnucks off J Clark. It's his 17th career nought from 93 innings, a return that parks him at a scarcely credible 2nd of 649 in the all-time roll of dishonour — the art of not scoring, refined almost to a science. On this very date in 1893, A Kent was also trudging back for nought against Royal Engineers CC, that year's reigning Duck of the Year no less. Tradition, it seems, keeps its own calendar. Batting at 9, Monty Deakes was stumped F Day bowled J Clark for his 2nd duck of the season and, sobering to note, his 2nd in only 3 senior innings. Monty already carries a formidable early honours-board haul: Debutante Duck, plus the ominous Quack-to-Quack and Retirement Duck pairing — though with barely three innings played we'll politely assume the farewell has been filed rather ahead of schedule. He shares Harris's spectral companion from 1893, A Kent, out for nought on this same date against Royal Engineers. Sunday 15th vs Mote A A proper arrival at number 3: Len Conway registered his maiden senior innings as a duck, caught I Milsted bowled H Hawkins, and walks straight onto the Debutante Duck board at the first time of asking — rank 221 of 649 before he's even settled into the changing room. On this day in 1936, Percy Brattle was doing much the same against Bearsted CC, on his way to 4 career ducks. Welcome to the fold, Len — consistency of a very particular kind awaits. 📊 Week in Summary Three ducks from two matches, the lot of them courtesy of the 1st XI — Marden and Mote A can consider themselves honorary contributors to Linton's noble tradition. No pairs, no family affairs this week, just three individual acts of quiet ignominy. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Bob Arnold — 4 ducks from 13 innings (30.8%) 2. John Thirkell — 4 ducks from 20 innings (20.0%) 3. Peter Weedon — 3 ducks from 6 innings (50.0%) 4. Richard Harris — 3 ducks from 16 innings (18.75%) 5. William Blight — 3 ducks from 16 innings (18.75%) Peter Weedon's 50% strike rate remains the season's most alarming statistic — and Richard Harris, fresh off Saturday's effort, is now breathing down the leaders' necks. Next fixture awaits, and with it the inevitable additions to the honours board. Bat carefully, gentlemen — we'll be watching. 🦆🍩

Three matches shared out this week's fixtures, but only one club produced the goods for the exclusive zero club — the 1st XI, twice over, with six ducks between two outings. Consistency of a very particular kind. Saturday 31 July — Aylesford Paper Mills CC (away) The top order held but the tail went quietly. John Thirkell was first to go, bowled by M Burton for his 3rd duck of the season and 22nd of a career that already tops the all-time charts — he sits at a commanding #1 of 648 in the club's roll of dubious honour, a two-time Duck of the Year (1952 and 1954) and permanent resident of the Lone Duck, Homebody Duck and Ducks on the Road top tens. Fittingly, on this very day in 1895 Ernest Cruttenden also fell for nought, against Headcorn CC, on his way to a career 10 and 9th place all time. Bob Arnold followed, caught by Alfie Pullen off Bobby Brigden, his 4th duck of the season and 13th of his career, good for 4th on the all-time table and mid-stride through a run of four consecutive ducks. He too shares his fall with Cruttenden's 1895 vintage. Brian Relf edged behind off M Burton for a modest 1st duck of the season and just his 2nd career nought. Relf is a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck and Retirement Duck honours from past chapters of his innings, though this particular failure was neither — simply an honest addition to the ledger, and further company for Cruttenden. Gerald Wright rounded things off, bowled by M Burton, for his 2nd duck of the season and 8th of his career, 12th all time. Same match, same 1895 echo — clearly a strong year for the art of not scoring. Monday 2 August — Lord Cornwallis XI (home) Stan Wratten was caught behind off a- Milsted for his 1st duck of the season and 8th career nought, 13th on the all-time list, keeping fine company with John Ames in the Quacking Together honours. On this day in 1944, E- Humphreys made a duck against the National Fire Service Overseas Contingent — a suitably wartime parallel. And John Thirkell was back at it, caught behind off J- Clark for his 4th duck of the season and 23rd career duck — a grim pair completed across the weekend, out for nought in both matches without so much as a change of scenery. E- Humphreys' 1944 shadow follows him here too. Week in Summary Six ducks, three matches, and the 1st XI shouldering the lot. Thirkell's weekend pair is the standout feat — twice out, twice for nothing, and still comfortably the club's most prolific collector of noughts in 648 recorded ducks. 1895 and 1944 both got a nostalgic name-check from the archives along the way. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Bob Arnold — 12 innings, 4 ducks, 33.33% - John Thirkell — 18 innings, 4 ducks, 22.22% - Peter Weedon — 5 innings, 3 ducks, 60.0% - William Blight — 15 innings, 3 ducks, 20.0% - Gerald Wright — 5 innings, 2 ducks, 40.0% Arnold leads on percentage but Thirkell, the all-time #1, is never far behind. Plenty of season left for the leaderboard to change hands. Pads on, guard taken — the ducks will keep coming. See you all at the next fixture. 🦆

A single fixture out on the green this week, and for once the ducks well and truly evaded the net. Eleven wickets fell, no doubt, but not one soul departed for nought — the exclusive zero club held no induction ceremony this week. Frankly it's the sort of result that unsettles a Duck Correspondent. A whole afternoon's cricket and not a single batsman could summon the art of not scoring. Bails were removed, catches were held, but always after runs had been troubled. Somewhere in the changing room a Duck Club regular will be quietly relieved, and somewhere else a chaser of records will be muttering into his tea. Still — the season is young yet, and this correspondent has faith. There is always next week, and the ducks are, as ever, only ever one played-and-missed away. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏆 1. Peter Weedon — 3 ducks in 5 innings 🍩 a startling 60% strike rate, more nought than knock this summer 2. Bob Arnold — 3 ducks in 11 innings, 27.27% 3. William Blight — 3 ducks in 14 innings, 21.43% — the model of consistency, of a very particular kind 4. L Skinner — 2 ducks in 5 innings, 40.0% 5. Alan Wilkes — 2 ducks in 6 innings, 33.33% Weedon leads the chase for Duck of the Year 1954, but with Blight grinding away in the background on volume alone, this one has the makings of a proper season-long tussle. 🦆 Roll on the next fixture, gentlemen — someone has to keep the honours board honest. See you all back at the crease, where a golden duck or two surely awaits.

A quiet week in the annals of ignominy, but the fixture against John Larkings gave the exclusive zero club exactly two new footnotes, both delivered by the same tormentor. 1st XI v John Larkings (Home) - John --'s Taylor, batting at three, departed bowled by P- Bennett without troubling the scorers. It's his 2nd duck of the season and 6th of an increasingly distinguished career spanning 81 innings — good enough for 23rd on the all-time list of 648. Fittingly, on this very date back in 1883, J Danells also strolled back for nought, against 1st Innings Maidstone Junior Liberal Association no less, going on to be crowned Duck of the Year that season. Taylor keeps distinguished company on the calendar, if not yet on the honours board. - Down at number 11, Alan Wilkes fell to the same destroyer, caught by J- May off the bowling of P- Bennett — a tidy two-for for the bowler at both ends of the order. It's Wilkes's 2nd duck this season, taking his career tally to 3 from just 15 innings, 50th on the all-time roll. He shares today's grim anniversary with the very same J Danells of 1883, a second Linton man keeping that old ghost company 71 years on. Wilkes is also a paid-up member of the Only Two Quacks club, twice over — having previously shared the dubious honour with both Bob Arnold and John Ames, the former lurking in this season's top five below. Week in Summary Two ducks, one match, one bowler doing the damage at both ends of the order — P- Bennett can chalk today up as a job well done. The art of not scoring remains alive and well at Linton Park. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1954 1. Peter Weedon — 3 ducks in 5 innings (60%) 2. Bob Arnold — 3 ducks in 10 innings (30%) 3. William Blight — 3 ducks in 13 innings (23.08%) 4. L Skinner — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40%) 5. Alan Wilkes — 2 ducks in 6 innings (33.33%) Wilkes himself sits proudly in fifth on that very table — one imagines he'd rather be anywhere else. Next fixture beckons, and with it, no doubt, further additions to the ledger. The Duck Club watches on, patient as ever. 🍩0️⃣

Two fixtures, three ducks, and the 1954 season ledger creaks a little further into the red. The exclusive zero club welcomes fresh entries this week — a place of dubious distinction, as ever, open to all. Saturday 10th — vs A.Trembeths (Home) The top order held firm but the tail found its usual trouble. Robert Muir, in at eight, was caught by Jessop off the bowling of Chance — his 2nd duck of the campaign and 3rd of a 26-innings career, planting him at a solid 63rd of 648 in the all-time ledger. A card-carrying member of the Retirement Duck honours, though we stress his career carries on regardless of this week's efforts. Curiously, on this very day back in 1869, J Amies was doing exactly the same thing against 1st Innings Hayle Place CC — some traditions simply refuse to die. In at nine came Bob Arnold, trapped lbw by the same relentless Chance. This was Arnold's 3rd duck of the season alone — a genuinely industrious rate of failure — and his 12th career nought from 59 innings, vaulting him to a rarefied 6th of 648 all time. Arnold's honours cabinet is already groaning: Ducks in a Row (four consecutive, a feat of remarkable consistency of a very particular kind), Only Two Quacks alongside Alan Wilkes, and Quacking Together with John Thirkell. And yes — by pleasing coincidence, 1869's J Amies strikes again as this day's historical companion in futility. Sunday 11th — vs Selstead (Away) At Selstead, R- Waters departed bowled by H- Denham, batting at three. This was his 1st duck of the season and, notably, his 1st career duck from just 3 innings — the art of not scoring, freshly discovered. He lands at 247th of 648 in the all-time standings, and joins the Retirement Duck ranks as a standing club honour, entirely unrelated to any suggestion he's finished playing. On this same day in 1943, Stan Wratten was falling for nought against the Royal Artillery Wing — a fellow member of the Quacking Together honours, paired with John Ames. The Week in Summary Three ducks from two matches — a modest but respectable haul. All three fell to attacking bowling rather than run-outs or misadventure, and both Muir and Arnold shared the same wrecking-ball in Chance. Triumph through adversity remains the house motto. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Peter Weedon — 5 innings, 3 ducks (60%) - Bob Arnold — 10 innings, 3 ducks (30%) - William Blight — 12 innings, 3 ducks (25%) - L Skinner — 5 innings, 2 ducks (40%) - Robert Muir — 8 innings, 2 ducks (25%) Weedon leads the charge with a frankly heroic 60% strike rate for failure, but Arnold's weekend haul keeps him snapping at his heels. Plenty of season left for the standings to turn. Next fixture looms, and with it, the inevitable next instalment of the zero club. Bring your bats, gentlemen — or don't bother. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A quieter week in the hunting grounds, but the 1st XI still managed to keep the exclusive zero club ticking over with three fresh inductions across two fixtures. Saturday 3 July — away to Charles Arkcoll Coming in at five, John Thirkell departed without troubling the scorer, bowled by A Waters. His second duck of the season and 21st of an extraordinary career from 140 innings, a tally that keeps him unchallenged at the very summit of the all-time table, rank 1 of 648, the undisputed King of the Ducks. He's worn the Duck of the Year crown before, in 1952, and carries it again this very season, alongside places in the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, plus shared Quacking Together honours with both Bob Arnold and William Buck. A man who has made an art form of the art of not scoring. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1897, S Smith was also trudging back for nought against Sutton Valence School — some traditions simply refuse to die. At nine, Robert Muir joined him in ignominy, bowled by Ken Heathfield. His first duck of the season and only his second in a 25-innings career, rank 105 of 648, though he's already a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell innings. Robert too finds company in S Smith's 1897 effort — proof that nought is timeless. Sunday 4 July — home to S.Kimmins William Blight, at six, fell to D- Altham for his third duck of the season and, remarkably, his third in a career that has produced nothing else — every one of his 28-innings career's noughts arriving inside this single summer. Rank 66 of 648 and climbing fast. On this same date in 1904, Arthur Cornwallis was doing likewise, a two-time Duck of the Year in his own right back in 1888 and 1904, playing on from 1884 to 1909. Week in summary Three ducks, two matches, all honours claimed by the 1st XI, who evidently fancied sharing the misery about equally home and away. Triumph through adversity, as ever. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Peter Weedon — 3 ducks from 4 innings (75%) - William Blight — 3 ducks from 10 innings (30%) - L Skinner — 2 ducks from 4 innings (50%) - Bob Arnold — 2 ducks from 8 innings (25%) - Richard Harris — 2 ducks from 12 innings (16.67%) Peter Weedon sets the pace with a frankly alarming 75% strike rate, but with the season still young there's ample time for the field to close in. Bring your bats, gentlemen — or don't, and the Duck Club thanks you for your continued custom. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A modest but purposeful weekend for the exclusive zero club, with three new entries to the ledger and the 1st XI doing all the honours single-handedly. Saturday 26th June — 1st XI vs Yalding CC - Peter Weedon, in at number 7, was bowled by G- Davis for nought — his 3rd duck of the season and 7th of a long and distinguished career, good enough for 16th on the all-time list of 648. Peter remains a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club, though nobody is suggesting he's off anywhere just yet. On this very day in 1872, E Skinner (1872–1875) was doing precisely the same thing against 1st Innings Sutton Valence CC — kindred spirits in the art of not scoring, separated by the best part of a century. Sunday 27th June — 1st XI vs Selstead - Michael Morton, also stationed at 7, was run out for nothing — his season-opening duck, and the 4th of a career now standing at 24 innings, 43rd on the all-time roll. On this day in 1936, E Godden made an identical contribution against Bearsted CC. - L Skinner followed him back not much later, bowled by B- Hobbs at number 9 — his 2nd of the season and 3rd of the career, a striking rate from just 6 innings, 59th all-time. Skinner joins Weedon in the Retirement Duck club and shares Morton's E Godden connection from 1936 too — a popular vintage this week. Week in summary Two fixtures, three ducks, and the 1st XI cornering the market entirely — the rest of the club escaped clean. Number 7 in the order proved a distinctly unhappy address, claiming two of the three victims between them. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Peter Weedon — 3 innings, 3 ducks, 100% 2. L Skinner — 4 innings, 2 ducks, 50% 3. Bob Arnold — 8 innings, 2 ducks, 25% 4. William Blight — 8 innings, 2 ducks, 25% 5. Richard Harris — 10 innings, 2 ducks, 20% Weedon sits imperiously atop the table on a flawless 100% — triumph through adversity of a very particular kind. Skinner is closing fast. The season rolls on next weekend, and plenty of creases remain to be found wanting. See you there. 🏏🍩

Eight ducks fell across two matches this weekend, and remarkably every single one belongs to the 1st XI. A vintage harvest for the zero club. Saturday — Aylesford Paper Mills CC (h) William Blight opened the innings and the misery, b Bobby Brigden for his 1st duck of the season and 1st of his career, joining "- Dampier", a one-and-done man from 1952, at rank 111 of 646 all-time. In at first drop came debutant Monty Deakes, c Peter Medhurst b Bobby Brigden — out without scoring on his very first LPCC appearance. A duck on debut is immediate and automatic entry to the Debutante Duck club, and Monty joins "- Dampier" level on a single career nought at rank 225. A memorable way to begin, if not quite the one he'd have chosen. T Wisdom then went to work, claiming three for nought in the space of a few overs. Bob Arnold, c G Webb b T Wisdom, moved to his 1st duck of the season and 10th of his career, drawing level with Don Hartridge (1940–1952) at rank 7 — and carrying the honours of Ducks in a Row (4 consecutive), Only Two Quacks with Alan Wilkes, and Quacking Together with John Thirkell. Alan Wilkes followed, lbw b T Wisdom, his 1st of the season and 2nd career, level with A S Day (1944–1949) at rank 66 — and duly completing his own Only Two Quacks honour alongside Arnold. Last man Gerald Wright rounded off Wisdom's spell, b T Wisdom, his 1st of the season and 7th career, joining the illustrious A Startup (1868–1882), a three-time Duck of the Year man, at rank 14. Sunday — Hambros Bank (h) No respite. William Blight fell again, b S Kimmins, his 2nd of the weekend — a full pair to his name. Richard Harris also departed, b S Kimmins, his 2nd duck of the season but a staggering 16th of his LPCC career, planting him at rank 2 of all-time 646 — agonisingly close to top spot. And Bob Arnold made it two apiece himself, c S Kimmins b G Clarke, his 2nd of the weekend and 11th career — a matching pair alongside Blight. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1941, Joe Fenner also made a duck against Maidstone Borough Police — good company for Blight, Harris and Arnold to keep, thirteen years on. 📊 Week in Summary 8 ducks, 2 matches, all five duckers from the 1st XI — and two of them, Blight and Arnold, collected weekend pairs. T Wisdom's Saturday hat-trick of scalps deserves a mention all of its own. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Peter Weedon — 2 ducks / 2 inns (100%) 2. Bob Arnold — 2 ducks / 7 inns (28.6%) 3. William Blight — 2 ducks / 7 inns (28.6%) 4. Richard Harris — 2 ducks / 9 inns (22.2%) 5. J Barclay — 1 duck / 1 inns (100%) Peter Weedon sets the early pace on a perfect record. Can anyone dethrone him before the season's out? 🦆 See you all next weekend — the zero club never rests, and neither, apparently, does T Wisdom.

Three fixtures out on the paddocks this weekend, and the zero club kept its books remarkably tidy — only one innings anywhere produced casualties. But what it lacked in quantity, Town Malling CC more than made up for in quality of victim. 🏏 1st XI — Away at Town Malling CC (Sat 5th) Batting at 8, Peter Weedon was bowled by P- Clark without scoring — his 2nd duck of the summer and 6th of an increasingly distinguished career from 37 innings, lodging him at a lofty 23rd of 645 in the all-time table. A paid-up member of the club's Retirement Duck honours, for whatever comfort that's worth mid-innings. Rather splendidly, on this very day back in 1943 club stalwart Stan Wratten also trudged off for nought against RAF Sutton Valence — some things never change. Two down at 10, L Skinner edged behind, caught N- Vidale off N- Gilbert, for his 1st duck of the season and 2nd of his career — a tidy 50% strike rate from just 4 innings that already has him 93rd on the all-time list. He too carries the Retirement Duck honour on his board. And by staggering coincidence, Percy Brattle was also dismissed for nought on this same 5th of June back in 1943 — also against RAF Sutton Valence. Something in the Sutton Valence water, evidently. 📋 Week in Summary Two ducks from three matches — the other two fixtures passed entirely without incident, a rare and faintly suspicious outbreak of competence. Both of this week's victims fell in the same innings at Town Malling, numbers 8 and 10 combining for a grand total of nought between them. The art of not scoring remains alive and well down at Linton Park. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Peter Weedon — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100% - J Barclay — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - N- Deal — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Tony Snell — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - C Sandford — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% A flawless top of the table this week — four names sitting on a perfect, unblemished 100%. Consistency of a very particular kind. 🍩 Next fixture looms, and with it the promise of fresh nominees for the exclusive zero club. Get your bats out, members — or don't, and join the honours board instead. 0️⃣🏏

A modest catch for the Duck Club this week — one match, one nought — but what a nought it was. 🏏 1st XI v Old Williamsonians CC (home) Batting at four, John Thirkell fell to G- Trower for the first duck of his 1954 campaign. Modest as one duck sounds, this is no ordinary quacker — Thirkell already sits 1st of 643 in the all-time charts, a colossal 20 career ducks from 133 innings, comfortably the most decorated failure in Linton's history. A two-time Duck of the Year already, having taken the crown in 1952, and with a 1954 entry already sitting on that same board, the smart money says he's chasing it again this season. Throw in card-carrying membership of the Lone Duck top 10, the Homebody Duck top 10 and the Ducks on the Road top 10 — proof he can find nought whichever ground he's stood on, home or away — plus twin honours in Quacking Together, alongside both Bob Arnold and William Buck, and you have something close to the complete works of noughtdom in one man. Neat symmetry too: on this very day in 1937, E Hayes also made a duck against Charles Arkcoll — a name from the 1935–1939 era who finished with 3 career ducks and his own brace of Duck of the Year titles, in 1937 and 1939, sitting 52nd of 643 all time. Seventeen years apart almost to the day, same fate, same long walk back. 📅 Week in Summary One match, one duck — but it belongs to the man who owns the record book anyway, so quality trumps quantity this week. A quiet start, with the season proper still to come. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - J Barclay — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - N- Deal — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Peter Weedon — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Tony Snell — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - C Sandford — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) Five names locked together at the summit on perfect or near-perfect form — it'll take a second duck from any of them to break the deadlock. 🥇 Roll on the next fixture — plenty of bat-pad, armpit ball and general mischief still to trouble the scorers. The exclusive zero club never stays quiet for long. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Two matches on the books this week, and Halfway House proved rather less than halfway hospitable to the LPCC lower order, surrendering both of this week's ducks 0️⃣ in a single innings. 🏏 1st XI — Away at Halfway House Batting at number eight, C Sandford departed for a duck, caught T Ades off the bowling of Robin Bush, gone without troubling the scorers. It's the first duck of Sandford's fledgling career, from just two innings — a debut entry at 146th of 643 in the all-time ledger. On this very day back in 1953, Gerald Wright also fell for nought against Gore Court CC, a kindred spirit in the art of not scoring, though Wright went on to rack up six ducks across his three seasons at the club. One place further down, Peter Weedon followed him straight back to the pavilion, bowled by Gordon Kemsley. This is Weedon's fifth career duck from 36 innings, a tally that plants him 30th of 643 on the all-time roll of dishonour — firmly among the club's most committed campaigners. He too finds his echo in Gerald Wright's duck of 22 May 1953 against Gore Court CC, which makes for a neat little symmetry: two Linton men, a day apart in 1954, both treading in the very footsteps of the same 1953 forebear. Weedon also carries lifetime membership of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell innings — a standing honour, not a comment on his health this week. Numbers eight and nine, back to back, undone in the very same innings. Halfway House won't remember the fixture fondly. The Duck Club certainly will. 📋 Week in Summary Two ducks from two matches, both served up by the 1st XI in one Halfway House innings. No pairs, no family affairs, no golden ducks — just two honest, unhurried noughts from the tail. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. J Barclay — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% 2. N- Deal — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% 3. Peter Weedon — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% 4. Tony Snell — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% 5. C Sandford — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% A crowded top of the table for the 1954 campaign, several names locked together on a flawless 100% — someone will have to break ranks eventually, for better or worse. Bat carefully next time out, or don't. The Duck Club never minds either way. 🦆

Saturday at Mote A brought nothing more alarming than a full scorecard — a clean sheet, if such a phrase belongs in these pages. Sunday told a different story entirely, with the 1st XI's return trip delivering four ducks in a single innings and a small avalanche for the top and tail of the order alike. 1st XI — away to Mote A, 16th May - John --'s Taylor (4) fell b H- Hawkins for his 1st duck of the season, his 5th for the club in 75 innings — 29th in the all-time rankings, level with a handsome cluster including Basil Sears and Jimmy Jameson (the latter Duck of the Year in 1945). - John Ames (5) followed, also bowled by Hawkins, for his 1st of the season and 6th career nought from just 36 innings — a heavily decorated 22nd on the all-time list, carrying "Ducks in a Row (4 consecutive)", a place in the Homebody Duck top 10, and no fewer than two "Quacking Together" partnerships on the honours board. A serial collector, evidently. - N- Deal (7), also undone by Hawkins, made his senior bow and departed for nought first time out — a genuine Debutante Duck, the club's oldest and cruellest welcome mat. 227th of 643 and already on the board for it. - Tony Snell (11), last man in, fell b a- Milsted for his 1st of the season and 2nd career duck from 14 innings, 105th all-time, and himself a member of the "Ducks in a Row" club. Splendidly, all four noughts share a calendar quirk — on this very day in 1943, L- Breedon also trudged off for a duck, against the Royal Army Service Corps 533rd Division no less. Whatever it is about the 16th of May, four more names have now joined that ledger. Special mention to H- Hawkins of Mote A, who helped himself to three of Linton's order in the one spell — the kind of afternoon that makes a bowling figures column look positively poultry. Week in summary — 2 matches, 4 ducks, all in the one innings. A quiet Saturday, a noisy Sunday, and the season's tally nudges onward. Consistency, as ever, of a very particular kind. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. J Barclay — 1 inns, 1 duck, 100% 2. N- Deal — 1 inns, 1 duck, 100% 3. Tony Snell — 1 inns, 1 duck, 100% 4. John --'s Taylor — 3 inns, 1 duck, 33.33% 5. John Ames — 3 inns, 1 duck, 33.33% Early days yet in the race for the season's crown — plenty of top order still to come. See you all at the next fixture, where the exclusive zero club always has room for one more. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A quiet weekend by Duck Club standards, but the exclusive zero club still found two new inductees, both from the 1st XI, both away at Bearsted CC. 🏏 Saturday — 1st XI at Bearsted CC The top order held firm, but the lower middle order found batting rather harder work. In at number seven, Richard Harris was undone by a mix-up in the middle and run out for his side's trouble — his 1st duck of the 1954 season, and the 15th of a long and increasingly distinguished ducking career. That tally is no small thing: it plants him 2nd in the entire 642-strong all-time standings, a position most club members will never get close to, for better or worse. At number ten, J Barclay departed bowled by Gordon A Hawkins, chalking up his 1st duck of the season and 7th of his Linton career, good enough for 14th on the all-time list. That total draws him level with A Startup, who put together the same seven ducks across a positively economical 11 innings back between 1868 and 1882 — proof that quality ducking is timeless. Barclay is no stranger to the honours board either, having been crowned Duck of the Year back in 1953, and carries a paid-up membership of the Retirement Duck club from a previous, apparently premature, farewell. Evidently retirement didn't take — he's still very much in the runs-avoidance business. The weekend's other fixture passed off without incident for the Duck Club — runs, regrettably, for everyone involved. 📋 The Week in Noughts Two matches, two ducks, both surrendered by the 1st XI's lower order — a timely reminder that batting gets no easier as the tail wags on and the tea urn starts calling. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - J Barclay — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Richard Harris — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) Early days in the 1954 campaign, plenty of season left for these standings to be shuffled, reshuffled, and shuffled again. The Duck Club will be watching every fixture with quiet optimism — see you at the next match, whichever unlucky soul it claims. 🦆🏏

A single fixture out on the park today, and for once the Duck Club has nothing whatsoever to show for it. Not a nought, not a nick, not so much as a nervous single turned into a run-out scare. Every last batsman got off the mark and, worse still for our purposes, stayed there. 🏏 A vegan affair, through and through — the ducks well and truly evaded capture. Whatever's in the water at the moment, somebody bottle it and take it away before next weekend. 🔍 Not that we're bitter. Even the great and good of this club have had days like this — the art of not scoring occasionally deserts even its most devoted practitioners. 0️⃣ Duck Hunting Season leaderboard The 1954 table is yet to trouble the scorers — no ducks logged for the season so far, so the top five stands empty and up for grabs. A rare open field, gentlemen. Whoever blinks first at the crease next time out could find themselves an unlikely early pacesetter. 🥇 So the honours board rests easy for now, but nobody should get comfortable. The exclusive zero club never stays exclusive for long — see you all at the next fixture, where normal service will no doubt resume. 🍩🦆