🦆 The Duck Pond

A brief lament opens this week's chronicle, for five of the Eleven's number found their way back to the pavilion without so much as a run to show for the outing. Two fixtures were played against Linton Park CC over the weekend, and the Zero Club receives its latest inductees with the solemnity the occasion demands. The Married Don Hartridge, at number five, was bowled by Ray Tippen for his second duck of the season and the seventh of a distinguished career, placing him ninth of 614 in the club's long roll of futility. He now stands level with the venerable A Startup, whose own seven ducks between 1868 and 1882 earned three Ducks of the Year and a place among the Ducks in a Row — kindred spirits separated by the better part of a century. Dennis Smith, at seven, was taken by Taylor off the bowling of Ray Tippen — his first duck of the season, but the fourth of a career now level with Bob Arnold's own tally. Mr Smith is, we note for the record, a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck fraternity from a past and entirely separate farewell. At number eleven, H Newport was bowled by Taylor for his third duck of the campaign, good enough to place him third on the season's own table of dismay, and his fourth career duck, joining the same gathering around Bob Arnold. Like Mr Smith, he too carries the Retirement Duck honour from an earlier innings altogether. The Singles Stan Wratten, at five, was bowled by Frank Taylor for his maiden duck of the season and the fifth of a career now standing twenty-second of 614, level with Allan Peach of the Edwardian era. The honours board also credits Wratten with a Quacking Together pairing alongside John Ames, struck in a season gone by. Richard Harris, at nine, fell to a smart piece of self-service from Dennis Smith, caught and bowled, for his fourth duck of the season and ninth of his career — a tally that places him a mere sixth of 614 all time, level with B Westover of the war years. His season, as the table below shows, is shaping into one of real distinction. Week in Summary Two matches, five ducks, and a sticky wicket for the home batting on both occasions. Tippen and Taylor between them accounted for four of the five dismissals, a fine afternoon's work for the visiting attack. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Arthur Cradduck — 19 innings, 5 ducks, 26.32% 2. Richard Harris — 13 innings, 4 ducks, 30.77% 3. H Newport — 9 innings, 3 ducks, 33.33% 4. John Thirkell — 27 innings, 3 ducks, 11.11% 5. J Enfield — 4 innings, 2 ducks, 50.00% The Club looks forward, as ever, to the next fixture and whatever fresh additions to the roll of nought it may bring. A straight bat, members are reminded, is no guarantee against these things — the pavilion door remains ever open.

A single fixture, a single wicket down for nought, but the Club's honours board never rests for long. Away at Hunton Wanderers CC, the eleven surrendered one entry to the exclusive zero club, and duty compels us to record it in full. 1st XI Coming in at first wicket down, John --'s Taylor essayed no stroke of note before being bowled by R Venner, and turned for the long walk back to the pavilion with the innings ball still gleaming. It is his first duck of the season and the third of a career now standing at forty-one innings, a tally that plants him a respectable fiftieth of six hundred and thirteen in the Club's long roll of the dismissed. He arrives in company: sitting on precisely the same career figure of three is A Kent, who in his brief single season of 1893 gathered his three ducks in only five innings and was crowned Duck of the Year for his trouble — proof, if proof were needed, that the art of not scoring has always rewarded efficiency over endurance. Week in Summary One match, one duck, and Hunton Wanderers CC may reflect that R Venner did his afternoon's work with admirable economy. A quiet week for the Club by its usual standards, though the season's grander campaigners continue their work below. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Arthur Cradduck — 18 innings, 5 ducks, 27.78% - Richard Harris — 12 innings, 3 ducks, 25.00% - John Thirkell — 26 innings, 3 ducks, 11.54% - J Enfield — 4 innings, 2 ducks, 50.00% - E Lockyer — 7 innings, 2 ducks, 28.57% Arthur Cradduck holds his customary place at the summit, though J Enfield's fifty per cent strike rate in nought-scoring is a sobering thing to contemplate over the winter. The season is not yet done, and neither, we may safely wager, is the Club's membership roll. Members are cordially invited to the next fixture, where the eleven will no doubt continue their diligent pursuit of the duck's egg with all the plucky application for which they are renowned.

🦆🏏 Well now, members. A curious thing has happened, and it happened by not happening at all. Not a single batsman troubled the exclusive zero club this Sunday. Not one plucky soul walked out, faced his ball or balls, and walked straight back without so much as a single to show for the journey. The eleven, on this occasion, kept their bats and their dignity intact from top to tail — a state of affairs the Committee finds almost unsporting in its rarity. Whether this speaks to a sound wicket, a merciful bowling attack, or simply an afternoon when fortune smiled on Linton Park's willow-wielders, the Gazette cannot say. What we can say is that the season's duck hunters will have watched from the boundary with folded arms and nothing whatsoever to add to their ledgers this week. The nought, it seems, took Sunday off. Let it not be said, however, that the record book has gone hungry this season. Far from it. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - 🥇 Arthur Cradduck — 18 innings, 5 ducks, 27.78% — the season's most reliable early return, and no mistake - 🥈 Richard Harris — 12 innings, 3 ducks, 25.00% — a sticky wicket seems to follow the man about - 🥉 John Thirkell — 26 innings, 3 ducks, 11.54% — plenty of innings between his duck's eggs, which rather counts as restraint - J Enfield — 4 innings, 2 ducks, 50.00% — a coin-toss of a batting record if ever there was one - E Lockyer — 7 innings, 2 ducks, 28.57% — quietly building a case for the honours board yet A fine collection of gentlemen who know the art of not scoring better than most know the art of scoring, and to whom the Committee extends its warmest and most solemn congratulations, in absentia this week. So there it is, members — a blank page in the club's book of ignominy, though we harbour no illusions it shall stay that way for long. The next fixture will surely furnish the zero club with fresh recruits, and the Gazette will be waiting, pen in hand, to record every last one of them. Until then — mind the sticky wickets, and good batting to you all. 🍩0️⃣

A modest instalment this week, but not without its charm: two eggs laid in the match against Gillingham CC of Kent, both by the home eleven's lower order, both accounted for by sharp work in the field. 1st XI - Tony Levick, sent in at number seven, was caught by F Saunders off the bowling of R Beckenham without troubling the scorers. It is his first duck of the season, and stands as his solitary entry in the Club's ledger of failure to date — one duck now sits against ten innings, placing him 234th of 613 in the club's long and honourable roll. He joins - Gaskin, a name from the 1949 season, on exactly one career duck apiece — kindred spirits separated by two years and joined in nothing. - Richard Harris, one place further down the order at eight, edged behind to R Davies off A Fairbrass and walked back for the third time this season without scoring — a sequence that speaks less of misfortune than of a settled and particular consistency. It is his eighth career duck from thirty-six innings, and it lifts him to a lofty seventh of 613 on the all-time list, a position most members can only dream of and rather fewer would wish for. In doing so he draws level with George Champion, who plied his trade between 1886 and 1912 and whose own eighth duck, taken in his 74th innings, earned him the Duck of the Year honour in 1897. The Week in Brief Two matches, two ducks, both claimed in the same fixture against Gillingham — the lower order once again shouldering the burden while their colleagues, presumably, looked on from the safety of the pavilion. A quiet week for the Club, but an instructive one: consistency, as ever, comes in many forms. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Arthur Cradduck — 5 ducks in 18 innings (27.78%) 2. Richard Harris — 3 ducks in 12 innings (25.00%) 3. John Thirkell — 3 ducks in 26 innings (11.54%) 4. J Enfield — 2 ducks in 4 innings (50.00%) 5. E Lockyer — 2 ducks in 7 innings (28.57%) The season's honours board remains keenly contested, and with fixtures yet to come there is every prospect of fresh names being added to the register before the year is out. Members are reminded that the eleven's next outing offers ample opportunity for further contributions to the Club's proud tradition of not troubling the scorers. The pavilion awaits.

Recording the week of the 25th and 26th of August, 1951 Two fixtures were played this week, and between them the bowling sides could manage but a single duck's egg between them — a lean week by the Club's usual generous standards, yet the honours board is not so proud as to refuse a single addition. 1st XI - B Lloyd, sent in at number nine to shore up the tail, was bowled by Randolph Thompson in the away fixture against Charles Arkcoll on the 25th, and returned to the pavilion without a run to his name. It is his first duck of this season and the second of a career now three innings old, placing him a modest 58th of 613 upon the Club's long and honourable roll of the dismissed. Old members will recall that Lloyd is already a paid-up subscriber to the Debutante Duck club, his cricketing life having begun, some seasons since, in precisely this unpromising fashion — a man true to his origins. It is worth remarking, too, that on this very date in 1904 one T Woollett also strolled back for nought, against the Leeds Castle house eleven — the calendar, it would seem, has long borne a fondness for the twenty-fifth of August. A quiet week, then, for the connoisseur of the collapsed stump — two matches yielding but one sacrifice to the great cause, and the tail, on this occasion, wagging rather less than it fell. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard, 1951 - Arthur Cradduck — 17 innings, 5 ducks (29.41 per cent) - John Thirkell — 24 innings, 3 ducks (12.5 per cent) - J Enfield — 4 innings, 2 ducks (50.0 per cent) - E Lockyer — 7 innings, 2 ducks (28.57 per cent) - H Newport — 7 innings, 2 ducks (28.57 per cent) The season's leading exponents remain in fine and fruitless form, and members are reminded that Cradduck wants but a modest run of bad luck to extend his lead further still. The next fixture will doubtless furnish fresh candidates for these pages, and the Club awaits, as ever, with quiet and ungentlemanly anticipation.

A record of the week's visits to the exclusive zero club, 18th–19th August, 1951 Two fixtures at home this week, and the eleven contributed three names to the ledger of the scoreless — the tail, as so often, doing its own quiet wagging. 1st XI Saturday, 18th August, host to F R Sutton's XI: Peter Weedon, promoted to number eight, played around one from J Toyer and was given lbw for nought. Not a first-ball dismissal by the record, merely a straight bat that found no runs behind it. It is his second duck of the summer and the fourth of a career now 22 innings deep, holding him at 34th of 613 on the club's roll of dubious distinction. Mr Weedon remains, and has long been, a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club — that solemn honour reserved for a career's presumed final innings ending on a duck's egg — though nothing this week suggests his innings with the club are done, only that the board awaits its moment. A pleasing coincidence attends him: on this very date in 1893, one Jack Fryer, twice Duck of the Year and twelve times a visitor to nought, was likewise trudging back to the pavilion, his against Eton Ramblers CC. Sunday, 19th August, host to Mote A, proved a sticky wicket for the lower order twice over. Richard Harris, at number eight, was trapped lbw by C. Horton without troubling the scorers — his second duck of the season and seventh of a career spanning 35 innings, a tally lofty enough to rank him eighth of 613, rarefied company indeed. At number eleven, E Lockyer followed him back, bowled by H. Hawkins for nought — also his second duck of the season, and the fourth in a brisk career of fifteen innings, 28th on the club's roll. Both gentlemen share good company across the years: on this same date in 1944, Herbert Rayner made his own duck against the R.A. Training Wing, Wrotham, a fellow traveller separated from them by seven summers exactly. The Week in Brief Two matches, three ducks, and the home dressing room rather better acquainted with nought than it might have wished — Sunday's Mote A fixture alone accounting for two of the week's three, a plucky lower order undone twice in an afternoon. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Arthur Cradduck — 5 ducks in 16 innings (31.25%) - John Thirkell — 3 ducks in 22 innings (13.64%) - J Enfield — 2 ducks in 4 innings (50.00%) - E Lockyer — 2 ducks in 6 innings (33.33%) - H Newport — 2 ducks in 7 innings (28.57%) The season's leading names hold their ground, though the club extends as ever its warmest welcome to any member of the eleven minded to add his name to the list come the next fixture. The art of not scoring, after all, is never wholly mastered — there is always another sticky wicket waiting.

A single day's play at Lenham, and the eleven did not come away entirely unscathed on the scoring front — one gentleman found himself parted from his stumps for nought, and duty compels us to record it. 1st XI, away to Lenham CC - John Thirkell, going in at four, was undone and bowled by F. Brooks, back to the pavilion for a duck's egg. It is his third duck of the season and the sixth of a career now fifty-four innings long, which sets him at the very respectable position of 15th of 613 in the club's permanent ledger of nought. A man of parts, Thirkell — a fixture of the Ducks on the Road top ten and the Homebody Duck top ten alike, proving his talent for the blob travels every bit as well at home as away, and a paid-up member of two Quacking Together partnerships, with Bob Arnold and with William Buck, standing honours from seasons past rather than anything walked together this week. Curiously, on this very date in 1867 — eighty-four years to the day — one G. A. K. Simpson also trudged back for nought, against 1st Innings Leeds Park CC. The wicket changes, the flannels change, but the art of not scoring, it seems, is timeless. The Week in Brief One match, one duck — a sticky wicket for nobody but Thirkell himself. The eleven may console themselves that the exclusive zero club kept its numbers modest this week, though the season's ledger continues to swell nicely elsewhere, as the standings below make plain. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Arthur Cradduck — 14 innings, 5 ducks (35.71%) 2. John Thirkell — 20 innings, 3 ducks (15.00%) 3. J. Enfield — 3 innings, 2 ducks (66.67%) 4. H. Newport — 6 innings, 2 ducks (33.33%) 5. Gordon Bugge — 10 innings, 2 ducks (20.00%) A meagre bag this week by the club's usual generous standards, but the season is young yet, and Lenham will not be the last side to test a straight bat and find it wanting. The next fixture awaits, and with it, no doubt, fresh candidates for the honours board of dubious distinction.

A record of the eleven's more modest exertions, 4th–5th August 1951 1st XI — v Birchington Wanderers (home) - Don Hartridge, at no. 5, played across a straight one and was given leg-before to J Shaylor — a duck's egg to open his season's account, and the sixth of a career now fifty-five innings deep, good enough for 10th place upon the club's roll of 613. By a pleasant coincidence, on this very date in 1895 one Ernest Cruttenden was performing much the same office against Rochester CC — the calendar, it seems, delights in these small ironies. - Ray Tippen, sent in at no. 8, was clean bowled by the same J Shaylor without so much as a run to his name — his second duck of the season, and second of a career spanning twenty innings, placing him 94th of all time. Tippen is a paid-up member of the club's Retirement Duck honours from a past farewell innings, though this was, happily, no such occasion. He too finds himself sharing the 5th of August with Cruttenden's shade of 1895. - Arthur Cradduck, at no. 9, completed what one might call a matching set — bowled by Shaylor for his fifth duck of the 1951 season and sixth of his career, a career of a mere twenty innings that nonetheless already stands 8th of all time. With the season's Duck of the Year honours for 1951 already resting on his shoulders, he seems intent on defending the title with some vigour. And like his colleagues before him, he too keeps company with Cruttenden's 1895 apparition. The week in brief Two fixtures were played, three ducks were laid, and all three fell to a single hand — J Shaylor of Birchington Wanderers, who found the home side's lower order thoroughly to his taste on the 5th. A whole week's tally claimed by one bowler is an economy as rare as it is melancholy, and the eleven's tail will not soon forget the name. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Arthur Cradduck — 5 ducks in 13 innings (38.46%) 2. J Enfield — 2 in 3 innings (66.67%) 3. H Newport — 2 in 5 innings (40.00%) 4. Gordon Bugge — 2 in 10 innings (20.00%) 5. Bob Arnold — 2 in 11 innings (18.18%) The eleven take the field again next week, where the exclusive zero club will no doubt welcome fresh candidates keen to master the art of not scoring. All members, past and present, are warmly invited to attend — and, form permitting, to enrol.

🏏 Good evening, members. The 1st XI took the long road to Old Williamsonians on the 28th and came home with three names for the register — a sound reminder that a straight bat is no guarantee against a straighter ball. Away form continues to suit the collectors rather better than the collected. 1st XI John Thirkell strolled to the crease at four and departed as he arrived, undone by Bowring for his 2nd duck of the season and the 5th of a career now 52 innings deep — good enough for 21st on the all-time roll of dishonour, and a man who already keeps company on the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, besides sharing "Quacking Together" honours with both Bob Arnold and William Buck. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1897, one Ernest Cruttenden also trudged back for nought against Brenchley CC — the calendar, it seems, has long memory for a duck's egg. Arthur Cradduck, sent in at eight, fell to the same Bowring for his 4th duck of a rampaging season and his 5th career duck in a mere 19 innings — form that has already earned him the Duck of the Year 1951 board, and at this rate he may retain it by Michaelmas. He too shares the curious distinction of a duck on the 28th of July matching Cruttenden's 1897 vintage — a date, it would seem, with a certain reputation. Bert Buckoke, last man in at eleven, was cleaned up by Trower for the 1st duck of his season, but his career column tells the graver tale — an 11th career duck from 43 innings, good for a lofty 3rd on the all-time list, with Duck of the Year honours banked in both 1928 and 1950. A true elder statesman of the exclusive zero club, for whom the walk back to the pavilion has become almost a matter of routine. The Week in Summary Two matches, three ducks, and Old Williamsonians' bowlers Bowring and Trower doing the club's collecting for it — a plucky Saturday undone twice by the same hand. No pairs, no king pairs, and no family affairs this week, though with Cradduck's rate of return one wonders how long that can last. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Arthur Cradduck — 12 innings, 4 ducks, 33.33% - J Enfield — 3 innings, 2 ducks, 66.67% - H Newport — 5 innings, 2 ducks, 40.00% - Gordon Bugge — 10 innings, 2 ducks, 20.00% - Bob Arnold — 11 innings, 2 ducks, 18.18% Until the next fixture, when no doubt further candidates shall present themselves for admission to this most dubious of distinctions — the eleven plays on, and the ducks, one suspects, are already limbering up.

A modest week for the exclusive zero club, but a week nonetheless, and the eleven's opening pair supplied both entries between them. The First XI Against Town Malling CC on the 21st, the innings began in the poorest of fashions. Basil Sears, opening the batting, and William Buck, sent in first wicket down beside him, were both undone by the identical hand — b M- Wheatley to each — the pair back at the pavilion gate almost before the scoreboard had properly turned over. A sticky start to any innings, and Wheatley may fairly claim the morning's honours, though it is not a wicket the club enters in its own book. For Sears this is the season's first duck's egg, and the second of a career now standing at thirty-three innings, a tally that lodges him sixtieth of six hundred and thirteen in the club's long and undistinguished roll of nought-getters. On this very day in 1897, one H G Smith performed the identical feat against Maidstone CC, so Sears keeps rather venerable company down the years. For Buck the story is briefer but no less final, his very first career duck in twenty-one innings, placing him two hundred and forty-second of six hundred and thirteen upon the all-time list. He is besides a paid-up member of the Quacking Together honours board, sharing that distinction with John Thirkell from an earlier occasion, and needs no repeat performance this week to keep his place there. Buck too finds himself in Smith's 1897 anniversary company, the same duck against Maidstone recalled once more, fifty-four years on almost to the day. The Week in Brief Two matches were played in the period, and the zero club received exactly two new subscriptions, both from the same Saturday afternoon at Town Malling and both from the same bowler's hand. A sticky wicket for the top of the order, though the remainder of the innings, mercifully, falls outside this correspondent's remit. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard The season's most dedicated collectors, ranked in the art of not scoring: - Arthur Cradduck — 11 innings, 3 ducks, 27.27% - J Enfield — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100.0% - H Newport — 5 innings, 2 ducks, 40.0% - Gordon Bugge — 9 innings, 2 ducks, 22.22% - Bob Arnold — 10 innings, 2 ducks, 20.0% J Enfield's record remains the season's most complete, a full and unbroken century of failure against every innings played thus far. Until the next fixture, when the eleven will doubtless furnish the book with fresh material. The duck's egg, as ever, waits for no man.

A quiet week at Linton Park, and one must report it plainly: not a single duck was laid across the fixture played in this period. The eleven turned out, the overs were bowled, and by whatever conspiracy of application or plain good fortune, every batsman contrived to trouble the scorers before departing. The exclusive zero club held no induction ceremony this week — its members may rest easy, its waiting list unchanged. It happens, now and then, that the ducks evade the net entirely, and a club built on the celebration of the nought must simply note the drought and look to next Saturday with quiet confidence that form, in this particular art, is rarely absent for long. The pitch remains sticky in patches, and reputations built on adversity are not undone by a single week of runs. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard The season's honours remain undisturbed, and the standings are a reminder that the art of not scoring is pursued with real dedication in some quarters: - Arthur Cradduck — 11 innings, 3 ducks, a rate of 27.27 per cent, and a fine consistency of a very particular kind - J Enfield — 2 innings, 2 ducks, a perfect 100 per cent, a beginning as pure as it is unfortunate - H Newport — 5 innings, 2 ducks, 40 per cent, keeping honest company near the top - Gordon Bugge — 8 innings, 2 ducks, 25 per cent, a steady if unspectacular contribution to the cause - Bob Arnold — 10 innings, 2 ducks, 20 per cent, proof that the nought comes for gentlemen of experience as readily as for the newcomer Members are warmly reminded that the season is young yet, and the eleven takes the field again next Saturday. History suggests the ducks are merely gathering their strength — do come along, for the next fixture is unlikely to pass so serenely, and the honours board waits for no man.

A Quiet Weekend at the Crease Two fixtures came and went this week, bat met ball with the customary vigour, and yet — for once — not a single member of the Eleven found his way into the exclusive zero club. The ducks, it seems, took evasive action, and the pavilion gate saw no fresh arrivals to that place of dubious distinction. Whether this be a triumph of application at the wicket or simply a lull before the storm, this correspondent cannot say. Even Arthur Cradduck, that most dependable of contributors to the season's tally, appears to have played rather too straight a bat for once. Let it be recorded plainly: a week without a duck is a rare thing indeed, and the Committee trusts the Eleven will not make a habit of it. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1951 - 🥇 Arthur Cradduck — 11 innings, 3 ducks, 27.3% - 🥈 J Enfield — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100.0% - 🥉 H Newport — 5 innings, 2 ducks, 40.0% - Gordon Bugge — 8 innings, 2 ducks, 25.0% - Bob Arnold — 10 innings, 2 ducks, 20.0% Young Enfield's figures bear particular scrutiny — two ducks from two innings is a perfect record of a very particular kind, the art of not scoring practised with unerring consistency. Cradduck remains the season's most prolific contributor to the noble tradition, and one suspects it is only a matter of time before he adds to his tally once more. The next fixture awaits, and with it, no doubt, fresh candidates for the honours board. Members are invited to attend, bat bravely, and — should fortune desert them — do so with the good grace this club has always demanded. The Duck Club will be watching, as ever, with quiet anticipation.

A modest week at the crease, but the exclusive zero club never rests for long. Two names step forward for enrolment. 1st XI 🏏 Peter Weedon played a plucky-looking defensive stroke against Bearsted CC before being bowled by A "Tony" Snook — no golden duck this, he troubled the scorers for at least one delivery before the bails went. It is his 1st duck of the season and the 3rd of a career now standing at 20 innings, good enough (or bad enough) for 50th on the all-time list of 613. A veteran of the honours boards already, Weedon carries the solemn distinction of the Retirement Duck — though we stress, for the avoidance of doubt, that this week's dismissal is no farewell, merely another chapter. Curiously, on this very day in 1868, one J Amies also trudged back for nought against Frittenden CC — the calendar, it seems, has long memory for these things. 🍩 Arthur Cradduck fell to Vic Pound at number eleven, last man in and last man to trouble the umpire's finger — a tail-end tale as old as the game itself. This is his 3rd duck of the season, and the 4th of his career across 18 innings, ranking a formidable 23rd of 613 all time. Cradduck already wears the sash of Duck of the Year 1951 — a man clearly determined to defend his title with vigour. And by happy coincidence of the calendar, on this same day in 1868 J Amies (him again) was likewise dismissed for nought against Frittenden CC — some traditions simply refuse to die. 0️⃣ Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks, both falling to the home eleven against Bearsted CC on the 30th of June — bowlers Snook and Pound sharing the spoils at the shallow end of the batting order. A quiet week by the club's standards, though quality, as ever, triumphed over quantity: one veteran, one serial offender, both adding another brick to already substantial monuments of failure. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🥇 Arthur Cradduck — 11 innings, 3 ducks, 27.27% 2. J Enfield — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100.00% 3. H Newport — 5 innings, 2 ducks, 40.00% 4. Gordon Bugge — 8 innings, 2 ducks, 25.00% 5. Bob Arnold — 10 innings, 2 ducks, 20.00% The art of not scoring remains alive and well at Linton Park. Members are warmly invited to the next fixture, where the eleven will doubtless offer fresh candidates for the honours board — the pavilion door, as ever, swings both ways.

23rd–24th June, 1951 A quiet week on the honours board, but the zero club never quite closes its doors, and one member was admitted all the same. 1st XI At Tovil on the 23rd, John Thirkell came in at four and departed bowled by F. Archer, back to the pavilion with the eleven's fortunes still to be settled by others. It is his fourth career duck in six-and-forty innings and the first of his season, which carries him to thirtieth of 612 in the club's long and honourable roll of dismissal. A paid-up member of both the Ducks on the Road and Homebody Duck top tens, he perishes with equal serenity whether the wicket is his own or a stranger's, and the Quacking Together board records that he has twice kept company in this particular art — once with Bob Arnold, once with William Buck — so at least he does not always suffer alone. By a pleasing trick of the calendar, on this very day in 1906 one Jack Fryer also strolled back for nought, against Leeds Castle CC — a reminder that the art of not scoring has been quietly practised on this ground for the better part of half a century. The Week in Brief Two fixtures, one duck's egg laid, and otherwise a week of plucky knocks and straight bats that left the Zero Club rather starved of new business. Whether this reflects sounder batting or simply luckier bowling, the committee declines to speculate. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - J. Enfield — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100% - H. Newport — 5 innings, 2 ducks, 40% - Gordon Bugge — 7 innings, 2 ducks, 28.57% - Bob Arnold — 9 innings, 2 ducks, 22.22% - Arthur Cradduck — 10 innings, 2 ducks, 20% The eleven takes the field again shortly, and the Club watches on with its usual mixture of sympathy and anticipation, confident that the season's tally has by no means said its last word.

Two fixtures were played this week, and of the many gentlemen who took guard between them, the club's records show but a single name added to the roll of the dismissed for nought. A quiet week by the standard of some, though quiet weeks have their own charm for a body devoted to the art of not scoring. 1st XI At home to Maths School Rochester on the 16th, Bob Arnold came in at number nine and departed for a duck's egg, bowled by F. Hadlow. It is his second duck of the season, and the fourth of a career that now stands at thirteen innings, placing him twenty-third of the six hundred and twelve names who have ever graced this exclusive company. He arrives, moreover, in distinguished standing among the club's honours boards: a member of Ducks in a Row for four consecutive noughts, holder of Only Two Quacks alongside Alan Wilkes, and a further name in Quacking Together with John Thirkell — a gentleman, evidently, who does not care to duck alone. By a pleasing coincidence of the calendar, on this very day in 1900 one Jack Fryer also strolled back to the pavilion for a duck, against Yalding CC — a player who finished his career with twelve such entries and sits second of all six hundred and twelve, Duck of the Year in both 1891 and 1900. Mr Arnold may take comfort, or possibly alarm, in walking so precisely in such footsteps. The Week in Summary One duck from two matches is not a haul to trouble the historians, but a haul it remains, and the second fixture passed remarkably without a single batsman troubling the naught column. The eleven may reflect that a straight bat and a plucky knock were the order of the day elsewhere — Mr Arnold excepted, whose bat on this occasion proved rather less straight than F. Hadlow's aim. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - J Enfield — 2 innings, 2 ducks, a full 100 per cent - H Newport — 2 ducks from 5 innings, 40 per cent - Gordon Bugge — 2 ducks from 6 innings, 33.33 per cent - Bob Arnold — 2 ducks from 8 innings, 25 per cent - Arthur Cradduck — 2 ducks from 9 innings, 22.22 per cent The season's table remains a sticky wicket for all concerned. Members are cordially reminded that the next fixture offers every opportunity for fresh additions to these hallowed and dubious lists, and the Gazette awaits its correspondents' further adventures in the art of not scoring.

A quiet weekend for the eleven at large, but Saturday's meeting with East Peckham & Nettlestead CC proved no friend to the lower order. Three eggs were laid before the innings closed, and the exclusive zero club welcomes its latest subscribers. 1st XI Mr Richard Harris, in at number six, was bowled by K Taylor without so much as troubling the scorebook — a first duck of the season for him, and the sixth of a career now standing at nine-and-twenty innings. He takes his place thirteenth upon the club's roll of nought, a rank he has occupied with the quiet dependability of a man who knows his own game. Curiously, this very date in 1950 saw Joe Fenner make an identical journey back to the pavilion against Lloyds Social Club — the calendar, it seems, keeps its own fixtures. Mr Arthur Cradduck, sent in at ten, was caught by C Dengate off the bowling of R Cox for nought — his second duck of the summer, and the third of a career of fifteen innings, good for thirty-seventh in the all-time table. He carries, this very season, the honour of Duck of the Year 1951, a crown he appears intent on defending with real application. He too shares his date in the history books with Fenner's effort of a year before. Bringing up the rear, Mr H Newport was caught by H Green off R Cox, also for nought — a second duck of his own campaign, and the third of a career of eleven innings, forty-sixth on the board of dubious distinction. From an earlier season he remains enrolled among the Retirement Duck club, that most solemn of honours reserved for those who once bowed out upon a duck, though nothing here suggests he means to repeat the gesture just yet. Like his colleagues above him, his name now stands alongside Fenner's on this same June date. Between them, positions six, ten and eleven accounted for all three ducks of the period — a sticky wicket for the tail, which did not so much wag as fold quietly away. The second fixture of the period passed, by contrast, entirely untroubled by the art of not scoring. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - J Enfield — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100% - Gordon Bugge — 5 innings, 2 ducks, 40% - H Newport — 5 innings, 2 ducks, 40% - Arthur Cradduck — 8 innings, 2 ducks, 25% - E Goodall — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% The season's leaderboard remains keenly contested, and with fixtures yet to come there is time enough for fresh names to join the honours board. Members are warmly encouraged to attend the next match, bat straight where they can, and furnish this correspondent with further material where they cannot.

A quiet weekend at the crease, gentlemen. Two fixtures were played across the period and, we regret to report, not a single duck's egg was laid at either ground. Every man who walked to the wicket contrived, by hook, by edge, or by the grace of a generous umpire, to trouble the scorers at least once. The exclusive zero club held no induction ceremony this week, and its honours board gathers not a single new name. Whether this speaks of straighter bats up and down the order, or merely of bowling below its best, history alone will judge. The Duck Club, ever a patient institution, notes only that the art of not scoring was, for once, left unpractised. We trust it is a lapse swiftly corrected. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - J Enfield — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100.0% — a perfect record of imperfection, sir, and none in the eleven presses him closely - Gordon Bugge — 4 innings, 2 ducks, 50.0% — a steady contributor to the cause, level of head if not of average - E Goodall — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100.0% — early days yet, but a flawless start in the wrong direction - Gordon Fenner — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50.0% — keeping his name warm on the honours board without undue exertion - E Lockyer — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33% — the most reluctant member of this distinguished company, and rightly proud of it The season standings remain unchanged this week, gentlemen, for want of fresh material. Mr Enfield sits atop the table still, his average a model of consistency that the rest of the eleven might do well, or ill, to emulate. The Duck Club awaits the next fixture with its customary patience and its customary confidence that the ducks, though they evaded the net this week, will not stay away for long. Pads on, gentlemen — the season is far from finished, and neither, we suspect, is the list.

A curious thing occurred over the weekend's two fixtures, and it is this: nothing occurred at all. Not a single member of the eleven, on either side of the ropes, contrived to walk back for a duck's egg. The bowlers toiled, the fielders crouched in expectant hush around the bat, and still the naught eluded every hand that reached for it. One almost suspects the batsmen of having taken instruction, though the Club trusts this is merely a passing aberration and not a change of habit. It falls to your correspondent to report, with as much good grace as can be mustered, that the ducks have gone to ground. Two matches played, and not one egg laid. The exclusive zero club, so accustomed to welcoming new and returning members most weekends, must this week close its doors for want of custom. Consistency, it seems, took the week off along with the ducks. We are assured this dry spell is temporary. The wicket will turn sticky again in due course, a promising young batsman will play across a straight one, and the roll of dishonour shall resume its stately growth. Until then, we record the quiet with the same solemnity we would a triumph, for the art of not scoring a duck is, after all, still a species of cricketing accomplishment. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard, 1951 - J Enfield — 2 innings, 2 ducks, a scarcely believable 100 per cent. A batsman playing a lone and unrelenting hand against fortune. - Gordon Bugge — 3 innings, 2 ducks, 66.67 per cent. Two eggs from three visits to the crease, and a name the bowlers must relish seeing walk out. - E Goodall — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100 per cent. A short career thus far, and a naught to show for the whole of it. - Gordon Fenner — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100 per cent. Cut from similar cloth to Mr Goodall, and welcome to keep him company. - E Lockyer — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33 per cent. The most restrained of this company, and rather better for it. The Committee extends its compliments to these five gentlemen, who between them have kept the season's honours board from gathering dust while the rest of the eleven behaved themselves. We trust the coming fixture will furnish fresh candidates for the register, and members are respectfully reminded that a straight bat is no guarantee against a wandering one. Until the next match, the Club remains, as ever, at the batsman's peril.

A gentle week, this, for the connoisseurs of the duck's egg. Two fixtures were played between the 19th and the 20th, and for once the bowlers of the district found the Club's collectors uncommonly hard to catch out. Only one nought was recorded in the whole of the period, and it fell, as these things generally do, to a man already well acquainted with the pavilion steps. The First Eleven On the Saturday, against Aylesford Paper Mills CC, Mr Gordon Bugge came to the crease at number five and departed run out, the identity of the fielder responsible left to the scorer's honest shrug of "Unsure." It was a plucky sort of dismissal, if a fruitless one, and it stands as his second duck's egg of the summer and the second of a career now twenty-four innings long. That places him seventieth of the six hundred and twelve names on the Club's roll of dishonour, a position he shares, as it happens, with one A S Day, who between 1944 and 1949 contrived to collect his own pair of noughts in a mere eleven innings. The two now sit level upon the tally of shame, kindred spirits separated by the better part of a decade but united in the art of not scoring. A quiet week all told. One duck's egg laid across two matches is a modest harvest by the Club's usual standards, and whether it speaks of improving technique at the crease or merely indifferent bowling elsewhere, the Committee is not minded to say. The tail, such as it was, wagged undisturbed. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - J Enfield — 2 innings, 2 ducks (100%) - Gordon Bugge — 3 innings, 2 ducks (66.67%) - E Goodall — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Gordon Fenner — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - E Lockyer — 3 innings, 1 duck (33.33%) Mr Enfield continues to lead the field with a consistency of a very particular kind, and the Committee has every confidence the coming fixtures will furnish fresh candidates for the honours board. Members are cordially invited to the next match, where a sticky wicket, a rash stroke, or simple bad luck may yet add another name to the list.

Eight batsmen surrendered their wicket for nought across three days of cricket, four at Bearsted and four more at Marden — proof once again that the eleven's lower order finds the art of not scoring comes rather more naturally than the art of scoring. 1st XI Bearsted CC, 12th May (away) - Gordon Bugge (6) fell to the bowling of B- Elswood — his 1st duck of the season, from a career of 23 innings, 168th of 612 on the Club roll. On this very day in 1906, one D H Luck also made a duck, against Town Malling CC — the calendar has a long memory for these things. - Bob Arnold (7) was stumped off the same bowler for his 3rd career duck from just 8 innings, a rate that has earned him a place among Ducks in a Row (four consecutive), Only Two Quacks with Alan Wilkes, and Quacking Together with John Thirkell. He too shares D H Luck's 1906 anniversary. - J Enfield (9), bowled by R- Spencer, notched his 2nd duck of the season already, from a career of a mere 3 innings — 76th of 612. - H Newport (11), also to R- Spencer, brought up his 2nd career duck from 9 innings, 71st of 612 — a long-standing member of the Retirement Duck honours from some past farewell. Marden, 14th May (home) - E Goodall (7), bowled by D- Heasman, marked his very first innings for the Club with a duck — a genuine Debutante Duck, and for 1951 a founding member of One and Done, joining - Gaskin of 1949 on a single career duck apiece. 142nd of 612. - Gordon Fenner (8), also to D- Heasman, brought up his 6th career duck from 49 innings — 11th of 612, level with D Sells, 1943's Duck of the Year. A family trade too, his brother Joe Fenner carrying five career ducks of his own. - Arthur Cradduck (9), bowled by S- Gurr, his 2nd career duck from 10 innings — fitting for a man already leading this season's Duck of the Year table. Level with A S Day on career tally. - E Lockyer (10), also to S- Gurr, his 3rd career duck from 12 innings, 42nd of 612 — level with A Kent, 1893's Duck of the Year. Three matches, eight ducks, and the bowling of S- Gurr and D- Heasman each claiming a brace at Marden alone. The lower order's resistance, such as it was, lasted rather longer at the crease than it did in the scorebook. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - J Enfield — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100% - E Goodall — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Gordon Fenner — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Gordon Bugge — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% - Arthur Cradduck — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33% The season is young yet, and the Club's honours board never wants for candidates. All members are cordially invited to next week's fixture, where the eleven will no doubt add fresh names to this most exclusive of registers.

A quiet couple of days in the field, but the zero club is never wholly idle, and this week it welcomes one more name to the roll of honour. 1st XI J Enfield strode out at number six against West Farleigh CC on the 5th of May and was undone by George Reffell's bowling, clean bowled without troubling the scorers — though not, mercifully, first ball, so no golden ignominy to report here, merely the ordinary sort. This stands as his first season's duck and the second duck of a career now numbering two innings, placing him 177th of 611 in the club's long and honourable ledger of failure. He joins a considerable and eclectic fellowship on exactly one career duck apiece — from the venerable A Barker, who first achieved the feat between 1885 and 1904, down to the present-day Arthur Cradduck, still active and himself the reigning Duck of the Year for 1951. Fine company for a man just beginning to make his mark on the honours board of the unmarked. The Week in Brief Two fixtures played, and for all the eleven's application at the crease, only the solitary duck to show for it — a week in which the wicket, evidently, favoured application over abandon. West Farleigh CC can claim the credit, George Reffell the wicket, and the Duck Club a single, dignified new entry. No pairs, no family affairs, no golden ducks to speak of this time round — the eggs, it seems, proved harder to lay than usual. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - J Enfield — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% A perfect record of imperfection so far this season, and nobody yet to challenge him for it. The table awaits fresh contenders, and with the season young there is ample opportunity yet for others to test their technique against the bowler's guile and their own concentration. The eleven takes the field again shortly, and the Duck Club, ever watchful from the boundary's edge, confidently expects further additions to its distinguished and dubious roster before long.

A quiet week to report, and for once the quiet is not our custom subject. One fixture was played in the period under review, and — remarkable as it may seem to the seasoned student of ignominy — not a single member of either eleven contrived to depart for a duck's egg. Every batsman who walked to the crease this week troubled the scorers, however modestly, before his eventual return to the pavilion. The exclusive zero club, so rarely short of new applicants, finds its books unopened this Sunday. Whether this reflects a sudden and alarming outbreak of competence, or merely a sticky wicket that favoured caution over adventure, your correspondent cannot say. We prefer to think of it as the calm before the storm — for a season is young yet on the 29th of April, and history teaches that the ducks are never far from home. The Committee views the development with polite suspicion and awaits next week's card with its usual keen appetite. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard The 1951 table stands empty at the time of writing — no innings yet posted to nought, no name yet entered upon the honours board for the current campaign. A blank page, gentlemen, and a challenge to us all. The season is but a single match old; there is time enough, and eleven need not fear for long. So to the players of Linton Park we say: enjoy the reprieve while it lasts, for the Duck Club's memory is long and its standards forgiving of nothing. The next fixture will surely furnish fresh material for these pages, and we shall be watching every ball with the keenest and least charitable of interest. Until then — play straight, and mind the honours board does not miss you for long.