🦆 The Duck Pond

The season winds down but the Duck Club never clocks off. Two fixtures this weekend, eight ducks harvested, and the ancient rite of Married v Singles delivering its usual bumper crop. 🏏 Saturday — 1st XI v A. Snell's XI Frank Brattle, in at 3, was bowled by S Capon for his 3rd duck of the season and 4th career, from 20 innings — rank 49 of 683. He joins C Amies, who played 1867–1870, on exactly 4 career ducks. A family trait, too — kinsman Percy Brattle also sits on 4 for his career, so the naught clearly runs in the blood. S Capon then struck again lower down, accounting for Tony Tipples at 5 — his 2nd of the season, 5th career from 33 innings, rank 29 of 683. He joins Alan Wilkes (1953–1956), himself a veteran of the "Only Two Quacks" honours with both Bob Arnold and John Ames. Tony wasn't finished for the weekend, as we'll see. ⚭ Sunday — the annual Married v Singles duel, Linton Park The old fixture did what it always does, contributing six of the weekend's eight ducks, three of them to one bowler. For the Married side, Basil Sears opened and fell lbw to John Ames — his 1st duck of the season but 8th of a long career spanning 128 innings, rank 17 of 683. On this very day in 1951, Don Hartridge (1940–1952, 10 ducks, rank 11) also made a duck against Linton Park CC — history repeating five years to the date. Peter Weedon, at 7, became Ames's second victim, bowled for his 1st season duck and 11th career nought from just 56 innings — rank 10 of 683 and closing in on the elite. A paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell, though today he's very much still in the fight. Monty Deakes at 10 fell caught Wright bowled Howard, his 1st of the season and 3rd career in only 11 innings, rank 76. A Debutante Duck and Quack-to-Quack alumnus of old — a short career, but never a dull one. Completing Ames's hat-trick of scalps, Tony Snell was stumped down the leg side for his 2nd season duck, 6th career from 29 innings, rank 28. A proud member of the "Ducks in a Row" board for four on the spin — he clearly knows a rhythm when he finds one. For the Singles, Tony Tipples returned to complete a grim weekend double — out Saturday for the 1s, out again bowled here for his 3rd season duck and 6th career, from 33 innings, rank 29. A proper weekend tour of Linton's duck-getting grounds. C- Haylor fell lbw for his 3rd of the season and 5th career from just 16 innings, rank 34 — another Retirement Duck board member from years gone by. All four Married/Singles duckers can toast a shared moment — on this day in 1951, Don Hartridge also walked back for nought against Linton Park CC. Some traditions run deeper than the fixture list. 📊 Week in Summary Eight ducks, two matches, one bowler (John Ames) doing the lion's share of the damage with three scalps in an afternoon. Tony Tipples's weekend pair is the standout feat — turning out for two different sides in two days and finding the same fate in both. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Michael Morton — 13 inns, 4 ducks (30.8%) 2. Bob Arnold — 16 inns, 4 ducks (25.0%) 3. Richard Harris — 16 inns, 4 ducks (25.0%) 4. Tony Tipples — 7 inns, 3 ducks (42.9%) 5. C- Haylor — 10 inns, 3 ducks (30.0%) 🥇 The race for Duck of the Year is well and truly on. Next fixture, fresh victims — the Club watches, waits, and celebrates. 0️⃣🍩

Two matches on the fixture list this week, and the zero club kept it tidy — a single innings did all the damage, with both ducks arriving back to back at the death of the same Bearsted CC innings. Consistency, as ever, of a very particular kind. 🏏 Saturday 22nd September — 1st XI v Bearsted CC The tail folded in matching fashion, both men undone by the same hand — A "Tony" Snook claiming numbers nine and ten in successive deliveries, bowled all ends up. First to go was Bob Arnold, at nine, bowled without scoring for his 4th duck of the season and 19th of an increasingly storied career — a career now sitting at a mighty 3rd on the all-time list of 683. Bob is a fully paid-up honours-board resident, having once strung together "Ducks in a Row" with four on the spin, and he shares standing entries in "Only Two Quacks" with Alan Wilkes and "Quacking Together" with John Thirkell — proof that misery, much like runs, is best shared. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1951, club stalwart John --'s Taylor also trudged off for nought, against Hunton Wanderers CC no less — a fine bit of calendar symmetry, 705 days and one opposition removed. In at ten came C Sandford, who fared no better, chalking up his 2nd duck of the season and 3rd for his career from just 18 innings — climbing to 65th on the all-time chart. Sandford, too, finds himself on the same 22nd of September page as history, joining the same 1951 vintage as Arnold — evidently a date the Duck Club has long had circled in red. 🌱 Sunday 23rd September The second fixture of the weekend passed off without incident for the collectors — every LPCC bat found the middle, or at least avoided the meeting entirely. A rare afternoon of restraint. Don't get used to it. 📊 Week in Summary Two ducks, two matches, one bowler doing the damage twice in a row — Bearsted's Snook can consider his weekend's work well and truly done. The rest of the club, for one day at least, kept its nose clean. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Michael Morton — 4 ducks in 12 innings (33.33%) 2. Bob Arnold — 4 ducks in 15 innings (26.67%) 3. Richard Harris — 4 ducks in 15 innings (26.67%) 4. R Vincent — 3 ducks in 13 innings (23.08%) 5. John --'s Taylor — 3 ducks in 16 innings (18.75%) Michael Morton clings to top spot, but with Arnold and Harris breathing down his neck on the same tally from fewer innings, this one's far from settled. 🦆 That's the lot for this week — the ducks had a quiet Sunday, but the season's young yet. See you next weekend for whatever fresh indignities the middle order has in store.

A quiet weekend in the exclusive zero club — just two fixtures on the books at Linton Park and only one man willing to answer the calling of the nought. Rare pickings this time, but the Duck Club never turns away a single applicant. 1st XI At home to Tunbridge Wells CC on the Sunday, Ray Howard strode out at number four and was shortly afterwards adjudged lbw to the bowling of Charles Wicker, departing without a run to his name. It's his 2nd duck of the 1956 season and the 2nd of a career now spanning 21 innings — good enough, or bad enough, for 124th on the all-time list of 683. He draws level with A S Day, who turned out for Linton between 1944 and 1949 and also settled on exactly two career ducks, albeit in a far more economical 11 innings. Ray's taking the scenic route to the same number. Week in Summary One duck from two matches — the flock mostly evaded capture this week, last seen loitering somewhere near the Tunbridge Wells boundary. Still, one is one more than none, and the season's chief offenders remain very much in business. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🥇 1. Michael Morton — 4 ducks in 12 innings (33.33%) 2. Richard Harris — 4 ducks in 15 innings (26.67%) 3. R Vincent — 3 ducks in 13 innings (23.08%) 4. Bob Arnold — 3 ducks in 14 innings (21.43%) 5. John --'s Taylor — 3 ducks in 15 innings (20.0%) Michael Morton sits atop the standings on a thoroughly chastening one-in-three strike rate — the art of not scoring, refined to something close to a science. Can anyone dislodge him before the season closes out? Plenty of cricket left, plenty of opportunity. The Duck Club welcomes new members with open wings 🏏 — see everyone at the next fixture. 🍩0️⃣

A single fixture took the field this week, and for once the Duck Club has nothing whatsoever to report. Not one nought. Not a golden duck, not a pair, not so much as a nervous single stroke back to the pavilion. Eleven names went out, and eleven names came back having troubled the scorers in some fashion. A vegan affair from start to finish, as the correspondent's forebears might have put it — entirely free from fowl. We shan't pretend to enjoy it. The exclusive zero club thrives on adversity, and adversity was, this week, in worryingly short supply. Somewhere out there a duck sat quietly in its nest, uncollected, waiting. Normal service will resume presently — it always does. 🍩 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard The chase for 1956 supremacy continues undisturbed by this week's abstinence: 1. Michael Morton — 4 ducks from 12 innings (33.33%) 2. Richard Harris — 4 ducks from 15 innings (26.67%) 3. R Vincent — 3 ducks from 12 innings (25.0%) 4. Bob Arnold — 3 ducks from 14 innings (21.43%) 5. John --'s Taylor — 3 ducks from 15 innings (20.0%) Michael Morton holds top spot on the strength of a superior duck rate, though Richard Harris breathes down his neck level on tally and with three more innings to press his claim. Plenty of season left for either to pull clear — or for a dark horse from the chasing pack to come steaming through. 📅 Looking Ahead A quiet week is not a wasted one — merely a delayed one. The next fixture brings fresh opportunity for the art of not scoring, and this correspondent has every confidence the ducks will return in their customary numbers. Get your bats out, gentlemen, and try to disappoint us. Until then — 0️⃣ 🦆 🏏

A single fixture on the books this week, but the exclusive zero club never takes a night off. Even a quiet Monday at home to Halfway House was enough to add two fresh names to the ledger of the gloriously scoreless. 🏏 1st XI v Halfway House (home) In at four, Stan Wratten was trapped lbw by Denis Fowle without scoring — his 10th career duck from 128 innings, lifting him to 14th in the all-time standings of 683 hopefuls. Stan is also a long-standing member of the Quacking Together club, having once shared a nought with the legendary John Ames, proof that misery, like batting, is better with company. Eagle-eyed club historians will note that on this very day in 1945, D Clark also wandered back for nought against 1st Innings MCPC — some traditions simply refuse to die. Six batsmen later, at number seven, Gordon Fenner joined him in the shed, bowled by Jack Whibley for a duck of his own. It's Gordon's 14th career nought from 95 innings, good enough for 5th on the all-time leaderboard, daylight between him and all but a handful of legends. A touch of family form too: his sibling Joe Fenner already carries five career ducks, so the appetite for zero clearly runs in the blood. And by pleasant coincidence, Gordon shares Stan's own on-this-day omen, with D Clark's 1945 blob against 1st Innings MCPC doing double duty as the historical footnote for both dismissals. 📊 Week in Summary Just the one match, but it delivered handsomely: two ducks, both at Halfway House, both landing their victims inside the all-time top fifteen. A quiet week for quantity, not for pedigree. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Michael Morton — 4 ducks / 11 innings (36.36%) - Richard Harris — 4 ducks / 15 innings (26.67%) - R Vincent — 3 ducks / 12 innings (25.00%) - Bob Arnold — 3 ducks / 13 innings (23.08%) - John --'s Taylor — 3 ducks / 15 innings (20.00%) Michael Morton clings to top spot, though with over a third of his innings ending in nought he's hardly playing it safe up there. 📅 Looking Ahead The season rolls on, and with Morton still haunting the summit, the next round of fixtures surely has more zeroes queued up. We watch. We wait. We celebrate. 🍩0️⃣

Four for four at Charles Arkcoll on Saturday, and fittingly the entire collapse fell on the very date that old stalwart T Woollett also strolled back for nought, back in 1904 — the calendar clearly has a taste for anniversaries. Away at Charles Arkcoll (Saturday) Openers first: John Basten fell early, bowled by Gordon Fenner, his maiden LPCC duck and a modest 231st on the all-time roll of dishonour from just 8 career innings — a debut entry in the club's least wanted list. Ernie Chiesman followed, caught Fenner bowled John Ames, his 2nd career duck from 16 innings and 96th on the all-time table. Ernie remains a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell — no suggestion today's nought is anything of the sort, merely a man revisiting familiar ground. R Vincent went lbw to John Ames for his 3rd of the season and 3rd of his career in just 12 innings, 75th all-time. Vincent already holds his Debutante Duck honours from way back — proof that some habits, once formed, are cherished for life. And propping up the innings, Richard Harris — caught Jack Knowler bowled Reg Waters — brought up his 4th duck of the season, and a frankly staggering 26th of his career across 131 innings. That leaves him 2nd on the all-time Linton list, a whisker from the summit and a man who has made not scoring something of an art form. Sunday's fixture, by contrast, was a strictly vegan affair — not a single duck to be found. Week in Summary Two matches, one rogue's gallery, four ducks — all crammed into a single Saturday innings at Charles Arkcoll. A fine demonstration that when the Duck Club decides to convene, it does so all at once. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Michael Morton — 4 ducks / 11 innings (36.4%) - Richard Harris — 4 ducks / 15 innings (26.7%) - R Vincent — 3 ducks / 12 innings (25.0%) - Bob Arnold — 3 ducks / 13 innings (23.1%) - John --'s Taylor — 3 ducks / 15 innings (20.0%) Richard Harris breathing down Michael Morton's neck at the top — one more nought either way could settle this season's crown. Roll on next weekend, and may the zeros keep coming. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A quiet weekend for the Zero Club by recent standards — just two ducks laid down across two matches, one apiece from a Saturday jaunt to Bowaters CC and a Sunday home fixture against Mote A. Both fell to the 1st XI, who this week cornered the market on ignominy entirely by themselves. 🏏 Saturday 18th — Away at Bowaters CC Batting at four, John Thirkell was bowled by Pete Kirby for his 3rd duck of the season and the 35th of a truly monumental career spanning 208 innings. As the reigning all-time duck monarch — rank 1 of 683, a throne nobody is troubling any time soon — Thirkell is a three-time Duck of the Year (1952, 1954, 1955) and a permanent fixture on the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens. Another brick, then, in an already formidable monument to the art of not scoring. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1951, Peter Weedon (1945–1956) also strolled back for nought, against F.R. Sutton XI, on his way to 10 career ducks and a place in the Retirement Duck club. The calendar, it seems, has a taste for August anniversaries. 🏏 Sunday 19th — Home to Mote A Coming in at six, John --'s Taylor edged behind off a-Milsted for his 3rd duck of the season and 12th of his career from 115 innings, good enough for 8th in the all-time standings. A fine — or rather dreadful — achievement, entirely his own this week. And wouldn't you know it, on this same date in 1944 Herbert Rayner (1939–1948) also departed for a duck, against R.A. Training Wing Wrotham, en route to 6 career ducks of his own. History repeats, at least where failure is concerned. 📋 Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks, one team responsible for the lot. The 1st XI carried the club's honour — such as it is — while everyone else kept their heads down and, mercifully or suspiciously, their bats occupied. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Michael Morton — 4 ducks / 10 innings (40%) 2. Bob Arnold — 3 ducks / 12 innings (25%) 3. John --'s Taylor — 3 ducks / 14 innings (21.43%) 4. Richard Harris — 3 ducks / 14 innings (21.43%) 5. John Thirkell — 3 ducks / 24 innings (12.5%) Michael Morton sits handsomely atop the pile on a barnstorming 40% conversion rate — commitment to the cause, if nothing else. Plenty of season left for the chasing pack to make their move. Same time next fixture, ducks permitting. Bats at the ready — or perhaps not. 🦆0️⃣

Two matches at home this weekend, and the home advantage did precisely nothing to keep Linton Park off the honours board. Five ducks recorded, all courtesy of the 1st XI — a vintage weekend for the art of not scoring. Saturday — 1st XI v Headcorn CC Fiennes Cornwallis got things underway at five, trapped lbw by J Kemp for his maiden LPCC duck — first of the season, and first in six innings, installing him at 194th in the all-time list. On this very day in 1906, C L Pemberton was doing much the same against Boxley CC. R Vincent followed at eight, caught behind off L Murrell, his second duck of the season and second of a career now standing at 121st all-time from 11 innings — a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club from his very first LPCC knock. Like Cornwallis, he shares his moment in history with Pemberton's 1906 effort. And L Murrell wasn't finished — Frank Wright fell at eleven, bowled for his second of the season and fourth career duck (18 innings, 48th all-time), handing Murrell a tidy brace of noughts for his afternoon's work. Wright is a veteran of the Quack-to-Quack club, having opened his LPCC account with a duck on debut some years back — 1906's Pemberton keeps him company again. Sunday — 1st XI v Harrietsham CC John Larking, at two, was bowled by F Moody for his first duck of the season and second of his career (11 innings, 109th all-time). On this day in 1867, G a K Simpson was also falling for nought, against Leeds Park CC — good company across the centuries. Clive Smith joined the queue at seven, lbw to Ray Tong, also his first of the season and second career duck (12 innings, 92nd all-time) — level with Larking on the career count, if nothing else. Simpson's 1867 effort keeps Smith company too. Week in Summary Five ducks from two matches, all 1st XI, both played at home — Headcorn and Harrietsham will consider the job well done. Murrell's brace aside, the bowlers had things very much their own way this weekend, and the 2nd, 3rd and 4th XIs escape entirely unscathed. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Michael Morton — 4 ducks / 10 inns (40.0%) 2. Bob Arnold — 3 ducks / 11 inns (27.3%) 3. Richard Harris — 3 ducks / 14 inns (21.4%) 4. John Abnett — 2 ducks / 5 inns (40.0%) 5. R- Waters — 2 ducks / 5 inns (40.0%) The season presses on, and the club's less celebrated honours board still has room for more. Roll on the next fixture — the ducks are surely circling. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Two matches, three ducks, and Linton's top order finding new and creative ways not to trouble the scorers this week. All the damage came from the 1st XI — the exclusive zero club keeping its membership tightly held there. Saturday 4 August — Aylesford Paper Mills CC (away) John --'s Taylor departed for nought at number six, caught A Burton off the bowling of G- Mabb. It's the second duck of his season and the 11th of an increasingly well-stocked career — 113 innings in, he now sits 9th in the all-time standings, a place behind club great Gordon Fenner, who made his own duck on this very day back in 1952, also against Lord Cornwallis XI, en route to 13 career ducks across a 1941-1956 span. History, it seems, likes a repeat fixture. Monday 6 August — Hon F Cornwallis (home) A double blow at home. Tony Levick, in at three, was trapped lbw by K- Goodwin without scoring — his first duck of the season and 4th of his career from 87 innings, good enough for 54th on the all-time list. Curiously, on this same calendar date in 1949, P Clark was doing exactly the same thing against Sharps Kreemy Works, though Clark's career tally stopped at a modest 2. One place down the order, John Ames followed him back, bowled by the same Goodwin, without scoring — his first duck of the season but 12th of a career that has him locked at 8th all-time. Ames arrives with an honours cabinet that would embarrass most: four Ducks in a Row on the spin, a top-ten Homebody Duck standing, and shared quacking honours with Alan Wilkes, Roy Clarke and Stan Wratten. Fittingly, he too shares his day with P Clark's 1949 vintage effort against Sharps Kreemy Works. Week in summary Three ducks from two matches, both Cornwallis departures falling to the same bowler on the same afternoon — K- Goodwin can consider his day's work well spent. No pairs, no family affairs this week, just honest top-order toil rewarded with a place of dubious distinction. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Michael Morton — 4 ducks in 9 innings (44.4%) - Bob Arnold — 3 ducks in 11 innings (27.3%) - Richard Harris — 3 ducks in 13 innings (23.1%) - John Abnett — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40.0%) - R- Waters — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40.0%) Michael Morton sits pretty atop the pile with nearly half his innings ending in a blob — the chasing pack will need something special to catch him before the season's out. 🏏 Next up: another round of fixtures, another chance for the willow to fail spectacularly. The Duck Club never sleeps — see you next week for further additions to the honours board. 🦆0️⃣

Two matches, two ducks, and both delivered by the same relentless right arm — a weekend that proves Folkestone's Andrew Miles is no friend of the Linton Park top order. 🏏 1st XI at Folkestone CC (away, 29 July) Len Conway strode in at six and departed for nought, caught by Frank Rumbold off Andrew Miles. It's Len's first duck of the season and the third of a career now spanning 19 innings, tucking him into 73rd spot on the all-time list of 679. Len's name already sits on the Debutante Duck board from an earlier chapter of his career, having opened his LPCC account with a blob some innings back — this one is simply the latest instalment, not a repeat performance. On this very day in 1896, sixty years to the date, Ernest Cruttenden — 1881 to 1912, ten ducks to his name and 10th on the all-time roll — was doing exactly the same thing against Headcorn CC. Some traditions run deep. Down at eleven, Tony Snell fared no better, caught and bowled by the same Andrew Miles for his first duck of the season and fifth of a career that has him standing at 37th all time. Tony is also a paid-up member of the "Ducks in a Row" club, having once strung four together in succession — a feat of concentrated futility he'll be hoping not to revisit just yet. Like Len, Tony shares the distinction of falling on this exact calendar date back in 1896, when Ernest Cruttenden was completing the very same act down at Headcorn. 🎯 Week in Summary Two matches played, two ducks recorded, both credited to one very satisfied Folkestone bowler. Andrew Miles can consider this his own personal duck hunting season — accounting for Linton's number six and number eleven in the same innings is the sort of afternoon opposition bowlers dream about, and Linton batsmen try hard to forget. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Michael Morton — 4 ducks in 9 innings (44.4%) - Bob Arnold — 3 ducks in 11 innings (27.3%) - Richard Harris — 3 ducks in 13 innings (23.1%) - John Abnett — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40.0%) - R- Waters — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40.0%) Michael Morton sets the pace with nearly one duck in every two trips to the crease, a percentage the rest of the club will be quietly hoping he cannot maintain. 🍩 Until the next fixture, the exclusive zero club keeps its doors open. Bring your bat, bring your luck, and mind Andrew Miles if you're facing Folkestone again.

Two fixtures, one venue, four ducks — Linton's 1st XI treated the home faithful to a proper double helping of nought this weekend. 🏏 Saturday 21st — v Shipbourne CC (home) The afternoon's real story was the right arm of Fairweather, who helped himself to three Linton wickets for three Linton ducks in the same innings — not quite a documented hat-trick, but close enough to have the scorebook blushing. First to go, at four, was R- Waters — bowled Fairweather for his 2nd duck of the season and 4th of a career now standing at 19 innings, good for 51st on the all-time list. Waters is also a long-standing member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell, and keeps company with H G Smith, who — on this very date in 1897 — also trudged off for nought against Maidstone CC. In at five, William Blight fared no better, also bowled Fairweather, for his 1st duck of the season but a rather more seasoned 8th of his career from 54 innings — an eye-catching 18th on the all-time chart. Blight shares the H G Smith 1897 bill for company on this historic date. Completing Fairweather's set, C Sandford departed for nought at number ten — bowled, same bowler, his 1st duck of the season and 2nd of his career in 17 innings, ranking 90th overall. Another name for the 1897 ledger alongside H G Smith. 🌱 Sunday 22nd — v John Larkings (home) John Abnett kept the family tradition of Sunday sacrifice going, stumped by R- Dollymore off the bowling of Hughes for a duck at number ten. It's his 2nd of the season and a brisk 5th of his career from just 15 innings — 35th on the all-time list, and a proud member of the exclusive Ducks in a Row club (4 consecutive). Abnett's fall echoes W Edwards, who made a duck against Maidstone CC on this same date back in 1896. 📋 The Week in Nought Four ducks from two matches, all courtesy of the 1st XI, with three of them gifted to a single bowler in a single innings — Fairweather will be dining out on that one for a while. The art of not scoring remains alive and well at Linton Park. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🥇 Michael Morton — 4 ducks, 9 innings (44.4%) 🥈 Bob Arnold — 3 ducks, 11 innings (27.3%) 🥉 Richard Harris — 3 ducks, 12 innings (25.0%) 4️⃣ John Abnett — 2 ducks, 4 innings (50.0%) 5️⃣ R- Waters — 2 ducks, 5 innings (40.0%) Next fixture looms, and with it the inevitable next round of applicants to the exclusive zero club. Bring your bats, gentlemen — or don't bother, some of you clearly aren't using them anyway. 🍩🦆

Two fixtures, three ducks, and the exclusive zero club welcomes fresh blood while an old hand extends his terrifying lead at the top. Let's have it. 🏏 Saturday 14th — 1st XI v A. Trembeths (home) First up, A Hughes, walking out at number 7 on his very first senior appearance and walking straight back again, bowled by v- Chance without so much as troubling the scorers. A debut duck is cricket's cruellest welcome mat, and Hughes takes his rightful place on the Debutante Duck board — membership secured before he'd even worked out where the sightscreen was. Career duck number 1 of 1, straight in at 139th of 678 all-time. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1900, H F Morris was doing exactly the same thing against Yalding CC — some traditions span the centuries. Then Bob Arnold, at 8, caught behind off C- Rye for his 3rd duck of the season and 18th of an illustrious career — a career now sat at a staggering 3rd of 678 in the all-time charts, a position most club legends only dream of troubling. Arnold's honours board reads like a rap sheet: Ducks in a Row (4 consecutive), Only Two Quacks (with Alan Wilkes), and Quacking Together (with John Thirkell) — a man who has made the art of not scoring into a genuine team sport. And, extraordinarily, he shares his on-this-day company with young Hughes — H F Morris was clearly a busy man in July 1900, ducking twice over for two different Linton men fifty-six years apart. 🌱 Sunday 15th — 1st XI v Selsted CC (away) Away at Selsted, John Waters came in at 6 and departed bowled by S-v- Smith, his 1st duck of the season and 1st of a career now standing at 4 innings — 230th of 678 all-time and freshly on the board. Waters joins a quiet fraternity sat on exactly one career duck, level with the long-retired Dampier of 1952, a paid-up member of the Debutante Duck and One and Done clubs, and — appropriately enough given nobody's seen him since — the Retirement Duck honour too. 📊 Week in Summary Three ducks, both from the 1st XI, and both matches happy to oblige with a soft dismissal for the middle-to-lower order — numbers 6, 7 and 8 doing the honours between them. A quiet weekend by Duck Club standards, but quality over quantity: a debut duck, a top-3 all-time entry extended, and a fresh face added to the rolls. The engine keeps turning. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Michael Morton — 4 ducks in 8 innings (50.0%) 2. Bob Arnold — 3 ducks in 11 innings (27.27%) 3. Richard Harris — 3 ducks in 11 innings (27.27%) 4. C- Haylor — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40.0%) 5. Frank Brattle — 2 ducks in 6 innings (33.33%) Morton sits handsomely clear at the summit, but with Arnold and Harris breathing down his neck on the percentage charts, this Duck of the Year race is far from settled. Next fixture, gentlemen — the zero club has vacancies, and the crease waits for no one. 🍩0️⃣

Two fixtures, four ducks, and the exclusive zero club welcomes its latest inductees. On with the ceremony. 🏏 Saturday 7 July — v Charles Arkcoll (h) First through the turnstile was newcomer - Spence, in at 3 and bowled by Stan Wratten without troubling the scorer on his very first senior innings. A genuine baptism by duck. Spence's solitary knock already carries three honours in waiting — Debutante Duck, a place on this year's One and Done list, and even a presumptive nod towards the Retirement Duck alumni, though the committee will want rather more evidence before ruling on that last one. He goes straight in at 132nd of 676 all time. On this very day in 1906, B W Haynes made precisely the same walk back against Sutton Valence School — some quacks echo down the decades. Further down the order, Michael Morton went b John Ames for his 4th duck of the season and 10th of an increasingly decorated career, climbing to 12th of 676 all time. With Duck of the Year 1956 already draped round his neck, Morton looks the man to beat this campaign, and 4 from 7 innings (a startling 57%) puts him well clear at the top of this week's Hunting Season table. He too keeps company with B W Haynes, whose 1906 fixture at Sutton Valence School falls on this same date. 🌱 Sunday 8 July — v Hambros Bank (1st Innings) R- Waters, in at 4, was bowled by D Rankin for his 1st duck of the season and 3rd of his career, moving to 72nd of 676. Waters already carries a Retirement Duck honour from some previous, evidently premature, farewell — proof that in this club retirement is more theory than practice. On this same day in 1950, John --'s Taylor also departed for nought, against Hayle Place CC. Lower in the order, Bob Arnold was caught Bonsor bowled Ronson for his 2nd duck of the season and 17th of his career — a tally so imposing it plants him 3rd of 676 in the entire history of the club. Arnold's honours board reads like a roll of honour in itself: Ducks in a Row for four on the spin, Only Two Quacks alongside Alan Wilkes, and Quacking Together with John Thirkell. Rare and distinguished company. He shares this same date with John --'s Taylor's 1950 duck at Hayle Place CC. 📋 Week in Brief Four ducks from two matches, the entire haul falling to the 1st XI — Charles Arkcoll and Hambros Bank both playing their part. No pairs, no king pairs, and the family ducks stayed mercifully dormant. Consistency of a very particular kind on display throughout. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. Michael Morton — 4 ducks / 7 inns (57.1%) 2. Richard Harris — 3 ducks / 10 inns (30.0%) 3. C- Haylor — 2 ducks / 4 inns (50.0%) 4. Frank Brattle — 2 ducks / 6 inns (33.3%) 5. Bob Arnold — 2 ducks / 10 inns (20.0%) Morton sets the early pace in the race for Duck of the Year 1956, but the season is young and this club has built careers on late surges. 🍩 Same time next week? The middle order awaits its next volunteer, and there's always room in the hutch for one more nought. 0️⃣🦆

A quiet weekend on the Duck Hunting front, Members — two fixtures in the books and only the one nought to show for it. Sometimes the ducks simply decline the invitation. 🏏 Saturday 30 June — 1st XI v St Lukes Maidstone CC (Home) Batting at number 8, R- Robinson made his way to the crease and was back in the pavilion soon after, stumped by R- Aiston off the bowling of B- Pearce. Credit where due — he survived at least a ball or two before the gloves did their work, sparing himself the particular disgrace of a golden duck. It's the first nought of the season for Robinson, and his 1st career duck from just 2 innings for the club — an account freshly opened, and not in the way he'd have liked. He slots in at 263rd of 673 on the all-time roll of ignominy, with plenty of room still to climb. Splendidly, the coincidence column has something for us: on this very day in 1868 — eighty-eight years to the date — one J Amies also departed for nought, against Frittenden CC no less. Amies played from 1867 to 1873 and finished his innings with the Duck Club on 4, good enough for 46th of 673 all-time. Some habits, it seems, echo down the decades. 🌱 The weekend's other fixture passed off duck-free — either superb batting or a suspicious lack of application from the bowlers. We'll allow it, just this once. 📋 Week in Summary One duck, two matches — the quietest of weeks for the exclusive zero club. Robinson carries the flag alone this time, but the ledger never stays still for long. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard — 1956 1. Michael Morton — 3 ducks from 6 innings (50.0%) 2. Richard Harris — 3 ducks from 9 innings (33.33%) 3. C- Haylor — 2 ducks from 4 innings (50.0%) 4. Frank Brattle — 2 ducks from 6 innings (33.33%) 5. J Donovan — 2 ducks from 9 innings (22.22%) Michael Morton holds firm at the summit, but with Harris and the chasing pack circling, the crown for 1956 is far from settled. 🍩 Next fixture, more victims — the ducks never stay away for long. Pad up, and mind the stumper.

Two matches, two home fixtures, four fresh entries into the exclusive zero club. Proof, if any were needed, that the art of not scoring is alive and well as the 1956 season rolls on. 🏏 Saturday 23 June — 1st XI v Aylesford Paper Mills CC Openers are meant to set the tone, and Frank Brattle set it low, bowled by M Burton without troubling the scorers. His 2nd duck of the season and 3rd of a career now reading 3 from 10 innings, 64th of 673 all-time. Neat company on the calendar too — on this very day back in 1906, Jack Fryer also departed for nought, against 1st Innings Leeds Castle CC, en route to 12 career ducks and two Duck of the Year titles (1891, 1900). Frank's kin Percy Brattle already owns 4 career ducks of his own, so perhaps it runs in the family. At number 11, Frank Wright joined him in the column, bowled by Cliff Anscombe for his 1st duck of the season and 3rd career nought from 13 innings, 65th of 673. Frank is a fully paid-up member of the Debutante Duck club and also carries the rare Quack-to-Quack and Retirement Duck honours — a career that, whenever it does eventually draw stumps, will apparently have matching bookends. He shares Brattle's on-this-day company with Jack Fryer, 1906. 🏏 Sunday 24 June — 1st XI v Hambros Bank Hambros Bank cashed in twice more. William Buck was stumped by P Mann off the bowling of A How, his 2nd duck of the season and 6th from a lengthy 150-innings career, 29th of 673 all-time — echoing Arthur Cradduck, who fell on this same day in 1950 against Tovil on his way to 7 career ducks and Duck of the Year 1951. Moments later the legendary John Thirkell followed him back, caught B Wickham bowled F Chapman. His 2nd duck of the season and, remarkably, his 34th career duck from 197 innings — still comfortably the club's all-time number one, a three-time Duck of the Year (1952, 1954, 1955) and a permanent fixture of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens. The honours board already lists "Quacking Together" against his name for William Buck, and this weekend the pair duly lived up to it, both falling in the same Hambros Bank innings. Thirkell, too, keeps Cradduck's 1950 company on the calendar. 📋 Week in Summary Four ducks, two matches, both at the 1st XI, both at home, and both producing exactly a pair apiece — a suspiciously tidy weekend for the Duck Club's accountants. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Michael Morton — 3 ducks / 5 innings (60.0%) - Richard Harris — 3 ducks / 8 innings (37.5%) - C- Haylor — 2 ducks / 4 innings (50.0%) - Frank Brattle — 2 ducks / 6 innings (33.33%) - J Donovan — 2 ducks / 8 innings (25.0%) Brattle's Saturday effort keeps him on the podium — form, of a sort. The next fixture awaits, and with it, no doubt, fresh recruits for the zero club. Bring your bat, and manage your expectations. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A short, sharp shock away at Halfway House this weekend — only two wickets fell for nought, but what a pair of scalps for the increasingly menacing Robin Bush, who claimed both. 🏏 1st XI (away) Coming in at six, Michael Morton was undone c & b Robin Bush for his 3rd duck of the season and the 9th of an increasingly distinguished career, in 47 innings — good enough for 15th on the all-time list of 672. With "Duck of the Year 1956" already sitting on his honours board, Morton is quietly assembling a strong claim to defend that crown this very season. Spare a thought too for X Rayner, who on this very day back in 1939 also trudged off for nought against Castle Hill CC, Kent — some dates just have it in for batsmen. Two down at eight, John Abnett fell to the same destroyer — c Denis Fowle b Robin Bush — his 1st duck of the season but the 4th of his career from just 13 innings, 48th on the all-time roll of 672. A paid-up member of the "Ducks in a Row (4 consecutive)" club, John shares his afternoon's misfortune not only with Michael above but with the very same date in history — X Rayner strikes again, 1939, Castle Hill CC. 🍩 Week in Summary Just the one match, just the two ducks — but both to the same bowler, on the same afternoon, in the same batting order. Robin Bush will sleep soundly tonight. The Duck Club extends its condolences, and its warmest congratulations, to Michael and John in equal measure — the art of not scoring, twice demonstrated in a single innings. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Michael Morton — 3 ducks / 5 innings (60%) 2. Richard Harris — 3 ducks / 7 innings (42.9%) 3. C- Haylor — 2 ducks / 4 innings (50%) 4. J Donovan — 2 ducks / 8 innings (25%) 5. D- Young — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) Morton leads the way and looks a good bet for the 1956 Duck of the Year sash — though with the season still young, there's ample time for the chasing pack to strike back. Next fixture beckons, and the exclusive zero club stands ready to welcome its newest members. The Duck Club awaits, wings outstretched. 🦆0️⃣

Rare news from Linton Park this week, and not the good kind for those of us who prefer our cricket served with a side of ignominy: the ducks evaded capture entirely. One match played across the weekend, and eleven-plus batsmen apparently, disgracefully, got off the mark. Not a single failure to report. Not a golden duck, not a pair, not so much as a nervous single-ball dismissal to warm the honours board. The exclusive zero club held no induction ceremony this week — the doors stayed shut, the guest list empty. We won't pretend this isn't a little unsettling. Consistency of a very particular kind is what this newsletter exists to celebrate, and this week the club simply declined to provide any. Somewhere, presumably, a Duck Club committee member is quietly reviewing scorecards for a clerical error. Still, the season at large remains in ruder health, and the leaderboard below shows the art of not scoring is alive and well even if it took the weekend off. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 Richard Harris — 6 innings, 3 ducks, 50% 🥈 C- Haylor — 3 innings, 2 ducks, 66.67% 🥉 Michael Morton — 4 innings, 2 ducks, 50% 4️⃣ J Donovan — 8 innings, 2 ducks, 25% 5️⃣ Alan Wilkes — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% — a flawless start to a career of dubious distinction Alan Wilkes in particular deserves a nod: one innings, one duck, a perfect record so far. Whether that's triumph through adversity or simply adversity remains to be seen. C- Haylor's 66.67% and Richard Harris chasing him down on raw volume keep this season's race for infamy nicely poised — plenty of cricket left for someone to make a real move. As ever, normal service is expected to resume shortly. The next fixture awaits, and with it, no doubt, a fresh crop of noughts queuing up for their moment of glory. Bats at the ready, gentlemen — or rather, bats very much not required. 🏏🍩0️⃣

A tidy little weekend's work for the exclusive zero club: five new members inducted across two fixtures, and one thoroughly deserving newcomer besides. The art of not scoring was alive and well at Linton Park. 🏏 Saturday — Old Williamsonians CC (h) Three ducks fell in the same innings, a proper flock. J Donovan departed courtesy of a smart catch by Cox off J Ellis — his 2nd of the season and 3rd of his career from 19 innings, good enough for 66th on the all-time roll of 671. On this very day back in 1952, club great John Thirkell also strolled back for nought against Marden CC, Kent — Thirkell would go on to 33 career ducks and sits imperiously at number 1 all-time, so Donovan keeps rather grander company than the scorebook suggests. Richard Harris was bowled by J Ellis for his 3rd duck of the season — that's the outright season lead, as the leaderboard below confirms — and his 25th career duck from 122 innings. That figure is extraordinary: 2nd of all 671 names ever to grace a Linton Park scorecard. Fittingly, he too shares Thirkell's 1952 on-this-day company. Best of all, D Young marked his very first senior innings with a golden entry into the record books — caught and bowled by J Ellis without troubling the scorers, a genuine Debutante Duck. Welcome to the club, D — the honours board notes your name, and you join Donovan and Harris in Thirkell's 1952 fellowship on the calendar. Ellis clearly enjoyed himself. 🌧️ Sunday — Folkestone CC (h) Reg Hoskins did the damage against the middle order. Frank Brattle edged through to B Jeanes for his 1st duck of the season and 2nd of his career in just 8 innings — 92nd all-time. A chip off the old block, too: kinsman Percy Brattle carries 4 career ducks of his own, so the family name is well represented in these dubious annals. On this day in 1950, E Lockyer made his own duck against Old Williamsonians, one of 4 in a career that sits 43rd all-time. Tony Tipples was bowled shortly after, his 1st of the season and 4th career duck from 28 innings, 52nd on the all-time list — joining Brattle in Lockyer's 1950 company on the calendar. 📋 Week in Summary Five ducks, two matches, one glorious debut, and Ellis and Hoskins sharing the wicket-taking honours between them. Consistency of a very particular kind on display at Linton Park this week. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - Richard Harris — 6 inns, 3 ducks (50.0%) - C Haylor — 3 inns, 2 ducks (66.67%) - Michael Morton — 4 inns, 2 ducks (50.0%) - J Donovan — 7 inns, 2 ducks (28.57%) - Alan Wilkes — 1 inn, 1 duck (100.0%) Harris leads the charge, but with the season young there's ample time for triumph through adversity elsewhere. Next fixture, same invitation as ever: bat first, quack later. See you at the crease. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Welcome back to Linton Park's finest tradition of turning nought into something. A quieter weekend on the runs front proved a rather noisy one for the Zero Club, with four fresh entries across two fixtures. 🏏 Saturday 26th — Gore Court CC (Home) A remarkable spell from Brian Allsworth saw him work through the order like a man with a grudge, claiming three LPCC wickets for three ducks in the same innings — the closest thing this club has to a hat-trick of ignominy. First to go was William Buck, bowled at number two for his 1st duck of the season and 5th of an increasingly distinguished career (37th of 670 all-time, 147 innings). He joins Alan Wilkes (1953–56) on exactly five career ducks — though Buck's honours board already carries "Quacking Together (with John Thirkell)," and wouldn't you know it, Thirkell obliged by falling in the very same innings. Together again, gentlemen. Next in, next out: John Thirkell, bowled Allsworth at first drop for his 1st of the season — but his 33rd career duck, a tally that keeps him a comfortable 1st of 670 in the all-time standings, a throne he shows no sign of vacating. A three-time Duck of the Year (1952, 1954, 1955) and fixture of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, Thirkell's "Quacking Together" board now ticks over nicely alongside Buck. Completing the Allsworth treble was Michael Morton, bowled at five for his 2nd duck of the season already — 8th of his career (17th of 670, 46 innings). Morton draws level with George Champion, who mustered the same eight across a marathon 1886–1912 stint. With a live Duck of the Year 1956 board to his name, Morton is very much one to watch in this year's race for scoreless glory. 🌱 Sunday 27th — Ron Aiston XI (Home) C- Haylor continued a lean run, run out for nought at number eight — his 2nd duck of the season and 4th of his career (39th of 670, just 9 innings — a rate that raises eyebrows). A paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell, Haylor can at least take comfort that on this very day in 1950, John --'s Taylor was also trudging back for nought, against Hunton Wanderers CC no less. History does love to rhyme. 📋 The Week in Brief Four ducks, two matches, and one bowler doing the lion's share of the damage. Gore Court's Allsworth will sleep well; three LPCC batsmen rather less so. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - C- Haylor — 3 inns, 2 ducks, 66.7% - Michael Morton — 4 inns, 2 ducks, 50.0% - Richard Harris — 5 inns, 2 ducks, 40.0% - Alan Wilkes — 1 inn, 1 duck, 100% - Ray Howard — 2 inns, 1 duck, 50.0% Next weekend brings fresh opportunity for the willing and unwary alike. The Zero Club never closes — see you at the crease. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Three away fixtures for the 1st XI this week, and the Duck Club opened its 1956 books in some style — four names added, one match producing a rather special double. Saturday 19 May — Gore Court CC Michael Morton strode to the crease at four and departed for nought, b Jack Bispham. His 1st of the new season and 7th career duck for the club from 45 innings — 21st on the all-time list. Michael already sits on the Duck of the Year 1956 board, so the race for this season's crown is very much alive. Spookily, on this very day back in 1951 Gordon Bugge (1946–1953, 3 ducks) also fell for nought — against Aylesford Paper Mills CC, no less. History does love a rhyme. Sunday 20 May — Mote A A genuine moment of ceremony here. At number 10, Bob Arnold went b M- Harden for nought, and at 11 Alan Wilkes followed, b P- Bryant, also for nought — the innings closing out with back-to-back ducks. Between them they complete the Only Two Quacks pairing on the honours board, a distinction that exists for exactly this pair and no one else, now properly earned in the same innings. Bob's duck is his 16th for the club from 83 innings, 3rd of all time, and he also carries Ducks in a Row (4 consecutive) plus a Quacking Together pairing with the legendary John Thirkell, Linton's all-time duck king on 32. Fittingly, on this same day in 1950 Thirkell himself made a duck, against Charles Arkcoll. Alan's is his 5th career duck from 23 innings, 29th all-time, level with the likes of Herbert Sunley (1943) and W Goad, who was doing this back in the 1860s. Monday 21 May — Marden CC, Kent Opener John --'s Taylor fell first ball of the innings for nought, c Peter Tipples b L Gurr. His 10th career duck from 104 innings, 11th on the all-time list, joining Don Hartridge (1940–1952) and Peter Weedon (1945–1956) on the same tally. And once again the calendar plays tricks — on this exact day in 1955, John Thirkell also ducked, against Gore Court CC. The man simply cannot escape late May. Week in Summary Four ducks from three matches, every one of them away from home and every one of them bowled or caught — the 1956 campaign wastes no time getting the noughts flowing. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. Richard Harris — 2 ducks/4 innings (50%) 2. Alan Wilkes — 1 duck/1 innings (100%) 3. C- Haylor — 1 duck/2 innings (50%) 4. Ray Howard — 1 duck/2 innings (50%) 5. John --'s Taylor — 1 duck/3 innings (33%) The season is young and the honours board has plenty of room left. Next fixture, someone else joins the exclusive zero club — we'll be watching. 🏏0️⃣

A modest but perfectly formed haul this week — three noughts across two 1st XI outings, the exclusive zero club welcoming its latest inductees with the usual pomp. Saturday 12th May — 1st XI away at Bearsted CC R- Piercy, walking in at number seven, fell lbw to Vic Pound to open his account for the season and his career in one stroke — his maiden duck in just 2 innings, installing him at 261st of 668 in the all-time roll of dishonour. Neatly enough, on this very day back in 1906 D H Luck was performing the identical ceremony against Town Malling CC, so Piercy joins good company exactly half a century behind. Then came the main event. Richard Harris, in at eight, was caught and bowled by E "Ted" White for his second duck of this very season — a flawless 2 from 2 so far, a perfect 100% strike rate in the art of not scoring. More strikingly, this is career duck number 24 from 118 innings, which plants him at a formidable 2nd of 668 on the all-time list — one of the most decorated members the club has ever produced, and he isn't finished yet. Like Piercy, Harris shares his duck-day with D H Luck's 1906 vintage against Town Malling — Saturday the 12th evidently has previous. Sunday 13th May — 1st XI at home to West Farleigh CC Ray Howard, batting four, was trapped lbw by R- Kemp for his first duck of the campaign and his first in senior colours — 1 from 16 career innings, ranking 262nd of 668. On this same date in 1950, D Simmons was similarly dismissed for nought against Bearsted CC, racking up what would become 4 ducks across his 1949–53 career and a rank of 39th — Howard has some catching up to do if he fancies that company. Week in summary Three ducks, two matches, one common thread — the 1st XI carried the weekend's entire quota single-handedly. Richard Harris' back-to-back pair of noughts is the standout, a serious early marker in the race for this season's crown, while Piercy and Howard both open their season accounts in style — or rather, in its total absence. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇🍩 - Richard Harris — 2 innings, 2 ducks, 100% - C- Haylor — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - R- Piercy — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% - Ray Howard — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% - J Donovan — 3 innings, 1 duck, 33.33% Harris and Haylor share the summit on a perfect record — the sort of consistency the rest of the club can only dream of. 0️⃣ The season presses on, and with it the certainty that someone, somewhere, will shortly be adding their name to this list. See you all at the next fixture — bring your bats, and perhaps leave them in the pavilion if history is any guide. 🦆🏏

A quiet couple of days by Linton's usual poultry-farming standards, but the exclusive zero club never fully closes its books. Two matches, two ducks, both courtesy of the 1st XI. The art of not scoring lives on. Saturday 5 May — v Marden CC, Kent (home) Richard Harris, batting at 9, was trapped lbw by J- Clark to register the season's opening duck for the club — his 1st of 1956 and 23rd of an already storied career spanning 117 innings. That career tally is enough to sit him a remarkable 2nd of 667 in the all-time charts, a position most club members will only ever dream of via other, more conventional, forms of scoring. Spookily, on this very date back in 1951, J Enfield (1947-1963, 2 career ducks, rank 100 of 667) also strolled back for nought against West Farleigh CC — proof that Linton's calendar has a long memory for these things. Sunday 6 May — v Hunton Wanderers CC (home) C- Haylor, at number 7, edged one to J Foley off X Rogerson for his 1st duck of the season and 3rd of his career from just 7 innings — a rate that suggests a certain purity of purpose at the crease. Haylor is already a paid-up member of the club's Retirement Duck honours, a standing distinction from a past farewell innings, so this latest addition is merely business as usual rather than any suggestion of hanging up the bat. He now sits level on 3 career ducks with A Kent, who managed the same feat in just 5 innings back in 1893 — and who, for what it's worth, walked off with the Duck of the Year title that season. Some standards are timeless. Week in summary Two matches, two ducks, one apiece — commendably even distribution of failure. No pairs, no king pairs, and no family affairs to report this week, so the honours board rests undisturbed for now. Consistency of a very particular kind continues at Linton Park. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - C- Haylor — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Richard Harris — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - J Donovan — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% - R Vincent — 2 innings, 1 duck, 50% Two perfect records at the top already — plenty of time yet for someone to spoil it with an actual run. Next fixture awaits, and with it, no doubt, further worthy additions to the zero club. We watch. We wait. We celebrate. 🦆🍩0️⃣

The 1956 campaign is up and running, and Linton's away trip to West Farleigh CC lost no time in feeding the exclusive zero club. Two names went into the book on the Saturday, while Sunday's fixture proved a resolutely vegan affair — not a fowl in sight. 🏏 1st XI — West Farleigh CC (away) R Vincent walked out at four and departed the same way he arrived — scoreless — caught by an understandably nameless "Unsure" off George Reffell. This is R Vincent's maiden senior innings, and what a way to announce yourself: an instant, undisputed life membership of the Debutante Duck board. Down in the record books he settles on 1 career duck from 1 innings, ranked 258th of 666 all time, drawing level with - Dampier, who managed the identical feat back in 1952 before promptly retiring on it — a cautionary tale Vincent will hopefully decline to follow. Six places later, J Donovan followed him back, caught Reg Oldfield off the bowling of Rob Gibberson. Not his first rodeo — this is Donovan's 2nd career duck from 13 innings, moving him to 99th of 666 in the all-time standings. He now sits shoulder to shoulder with A S Day, who reached the same tally in 11 innings across a five-year stint from 1944 to 1949. A steady, unspectacular addition to a career total that will, no doubt, keep ticking over. 📅 Sunday Whichever fixture ran on the Sunday kept its powder dry — no ducks to report, everyone got off the mark, and the Duck Club goes hungry for a day. Can't win them all. Or rather, in this case, everyone did. 📊 Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks, both from the same West Farleigh innings — a tidy 100% strike rate for anyone who fancied a duck this week, and zero for anyone who didn't fancy playing at all on Sunday. Early season, plenty of pitch left for the harvest to grow. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - J Donovan — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - R Vincent — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% A dead heat at the top as the season gets under way — early days yet, but someone will have to break the tie sooner or later. That's the lot for this period. The season is young, the West Farleigh pitch has already claimed two scalps, and next weekend's fixtures promise fresh opportunities for immortality of the most dubious kind. See you at the crease — or, more likely, straight back off it. 🦆🍩