🦆 The Duck Pond

Two fixtures, seven noughts, and a Sunday match that ate its own tail. Grab a cuppa. Saturday 24 September — 1st XI v Town Malling CC John Carter fell lbw to T- Lower, opening his account for season and career alike — his 1st duck from just 3 innings. He joins the exclusive company of - Dampier, whose entire 1952 Linton career amounted to a single innings and a single duck, a proper "One and Done." 664 names still to catch if John fancies the chase. Sunday 25 September — Married v Singles, Linton Park A rich harvest of six, and a fixture that briefly turned into a circle of poultry justice. C- Haylor and Frank Wright both departed lbw to Bob Brigden, each reaching 2 career ducks and drawing level with A S Day (1944–1949, 2 from 11 innings). Wright does so as a fully paid-up member of the Debutante Duck and Retirement Duck honours boards from past campaigns — old glories, not today's. Frank Brattle went lbw for his maiden LPCC duck, bowled by none other than John Ames — a chip off no particular block, though kin Percy Brattle already carries 4 of his own. Frank joins the A S Day club too, on 1. Ray Tippen holed out c&b to Tony Tipples for his 4th career duck from 38 innings, levelling with Alan Wilkes (1953–1955), himself a veteran of the "Only Two Quacks" honours — one of them shared with today's other protagonist. Peter Weedon followed, lbw to Tipples, for his 3rd of the season and a milestone 10th career duck, both he and Tippen fellow travellers on the Retirement Duck board from earlier chapters. Weedon vaults to 11th on the all-time chart, level with Don Hartridge (1940–1952, 86 innings). And then the twist: John Ames, the very bowler who'd accounted for Brattle, walked back himself — bowled by Ray Tippen, the man he'd just watched fall to Tipples. Ames's 5th duck of the season and 11th of his career lifts him to 8th all-time, a name already stitched through the Ducks in a Row, Homebody Duck top 10 and Quacking Together boards. What goes around, comes around, apparently within the same afternoon. Week in Summary Seven ducks from two matches — a quiet Saturday nibble followed by a proper Sunday cull. Special mention to Married v Singles, which for one over resembled an ouroboros: bowler becomes batsman becomes duck. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🥇 1. John Thirkell — 6 ducks, 33 innings (18.18%) 2. John Ames — 5 ducks, 19 innings (26.32%) 3. Peter Weedon — 3 ducks, 9 innings (33.33%) 3. William Blight — 3 ducks, 9 innings (33.33%) 5. John --'s Taylor — 3 ducks, 13 innings (23.08%) Next fixture beckons, and with it more names for the honours board. The zero club never sleeps 🦆🍩

Fowl play was in remarkably short supply this weekend. Across two fixtures on the 17th and 18th, the Duck Club processed just a single new arrival — proof, if any were needed, that even ignominy has its off weeks. 🏏 1st XI v Bearsted CC (home) At number five, C- Haylor became the weekend's sole representative, caught by J- Basten off the bowling of Les Austin without troubling the scorers. It's a landmark of sorts — his first duck of the 1955 season, and, in five innings for the club, his maiden career nought. That's good enough for 159th of 665 in the all-time standings, a place he now shares with - Dampier, whose own single career duck back in 1952 was enough to see him inducted into both the Debutante Duck and One and Done clubs. Haylor, for what it's worth, is already a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell — happily, nobody's suggesting he's bowing out again just yet. 📋 Week in Summary A quiet one by Duck Club standards — two matches, one duck, and precious little else to report. Sometimes the ducks simply decline the invitation. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard — 1955 1. John Thirkell — 6 ducks in 31 innings (19.35%) 2. John Ames — 4 ducks in 18 innings (22.22%) 3. William Blight — 3 ducks in 9 innings (33.33%) 4. John --'s Taylor — 3 ducks in 13 innings (23.08%) 5. Richard Harris — 3 ducks in 20 innings (15.00%) William Blight's strike rate for nought remains the frightening one to watch — a third of his innings ending without score. 🍩 Next fixture awaits, and with it, the ever-present promise of fresh candidates for the honours board. The Duck Club never sleeps — even when, this week, it barely stirred.

A quiet weekend for the Duck Hunting fraternity numerically, but no less notable for it — two fresh entries to the honours ledger, both plucked from the very same innings against Old Roffensians. Consistency, as ever, of a very particular kind. 1st XI v Old Roffensians — Saturday 10th, home First to fall was John --'s Taylor, promoted to first-wicket-down and undone caught and bowled by Deer before he could trouble the printer. It's his 3rd duck of the season and 9th for the club in 101 innings — good enough for a lofty 13th on the all-time list of 662. Spookily, on this very date back in 1944, A S Day was performing an identical vanishing act against George Fenner XI, racking up the second of his own two career ducks in a stint running 1944 to 1949. The calendar, it seems, never forgets a nought. He wasn't lonely for long. At number eight, Michael Morton edged behind off Roberts, well held by R Harris, for his 1st duck of the season and 6th of an LPCC career now standing at 40 innings — 27th all-time. Morton too finds himself keeping the anniversary of A S Day's 1944 effort company, same fixture, same date, eleven years and two very different scorecards apart. Top and middle order both accounted for on the same afternoon — a rare show of collaborative underachievement Old Roffensians will no doubt be thanking their bowlers for. Week in summary Two matches, two ducks, both from the same innings — the ducks otherwise kept a low profile elsewhere on the fixture list. Taylor's effort keeps him firmly inside this season's top five, a mere achievement's breadth off the podium. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - John Thirkell — 6 ducks, 29 innings (20.69%) - John Ames — 4 ducks, 18 innings (22.22%) - William Blight — 3 ducks, 9 innings (33.33%) - John --'s Taylor — 3 ducks, 13 innings (23.08%) - Richard Harris — 3 ducks, 18 innings (16.67%) With the season entering its closing weeks, the race for Duck of the Year remains wide open — Thirkell holds a narrow lead but the field is bunched tightly behind him. Plenty of overs left for someone to make their move. Pads on, bails watching — see you at the next fixture for further additions to the club's exclusive zero. 🦆🍩0️⃣

A quiet weekend on the quacking front — two matches played, and old faithful John Ames doing his bit to keep the ledger from a fully fowl-free weekend. 1st XI At Birchington Wanderers, John Ames departed lbw to A Goodenough, batting at five and adding precisely nothing to the total. It's his 4th duck of the season and his 10th for the club overall from 69 innings — good enough, or bad enough, for 10th on the all-time list of 662. Ames arrives with some ceremony too: he's mid-stretch on Ducks in a Row (four consecutive, no less), sits in the Homebody Duck top ten, and keeps distinguished company on the honours board via Only Two Quacks with Alan Wilkes and a pair of Quacking Together entries alongside Roy Clarke and Stan Wratten. A man who collects noughts the way others collect stamps. Fittingly, the calendar has form here too — on this very day in 1949, P- Martin also strolled back for a duck, against East Peckham & Nettlestead CC of all sides. Martin, as it happens, is a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from his eventual farewell — a fate Ames will no doubt eye nervously from a safe distance. Week in Summary One duck from two fixtures — the bowlers evidently had the week off, or the rest of the batting simply couldn't be bothered to disappoint us further. Steady as she goes, in the art of not scoring. Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 🏆 - John Thirkell — 6 ducks, 27 innings (22.2%) - John Ames — 4 ducks, 18 innings (22.2%) - William Blight — 3 ducks, 9 innings (33.3%) - Richard Harris — 3 ducks, 17 innings (17.6%) - Tony Snell — 2 ducks, 6 innings (33.3%) Thirkell holds top spot, but Ames is breathing down his neck after this week's addition — plenty of season left for a late surge on Duck of the Year. Next fixtures await, and with them, no doubt, fresh candidates for the honours board. See you at the crease — or, more likely, in the pavilion shortly after. 🦆🏏0️⃣

One match on the board this week, and D Hambrook XI made short work of turning three Linton batsmen into paid-up members of the season's zero club. 1st XI v D Hambrook XI (Home) Tony Tipples fell early at first wicket down, bowled by X Gill without troubling the scorers. It's his 2nd duck of the season and the 3rd of a career now standing at 25 innings — good enough, or bad enough, for 74th on the all-time list of 661. Fittingly, on this very day back in 1893, W W Tarrance was doing exactly the same thing against The Mote CC. John Ames followed at four, run out for nought, the identity of his executioner apparently lost to the scorebook. It's his 3rd duck of the season and 9th of a career that already carries some serious silverware — a place in the Ducks in a Row club for four on the bounce, a spot in the Homebody Duck top 10, and shared quacking honours with Alan Wilkes, Roy Clarke and Stan Wratten. He sits 12th all-time out of 661, rarefied if unwanted company. And once more — 28 August, 1893, The Mote CC — Tarrance strikes again. Peter Weedon rounded things off at number eight, bowled by X Deal. His 2nd of the season and 9th for a career spanning 50 innings, good for 13th on the all-time chart. Peter already carries a presumptive place in the Retirement Duck club, awarded for an earlier knock once thought to be his last, though evidently the invitation was declined. Same date, same year, same Tarrance walking back at The Mote CC. Week in Summary Just the one fixture, but D Hambrook made it count — three ducks in a single innings for the 1st XI, top order to lower middle order all sampling the zero club. Quiet everywhere else. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - John Thirkell — 25 inns, 6 ducks (24.0%) - William Blight — 9 inns, 3 ducks (33.33%) - Richard Harris — 16 inns, 3 ducks (18.75%) - John Ames — 17 inns, 3 ducks (17.65%) - Tony Snell — 6 inns, 2 ducks (33.33%) Thirkell holds firm at the summit, but Ames' latest addition keeps him snapping at the leaderboard's heels. The next fixture awaits — the zero club never sleeps. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Two fixtures, two ducks, and the 1st XI keeping the exclusive zero club ticking over nicely as August draws towards its close. Saturday 20 August — v Charles Arkcoll Peter Weedon strode out at six and departed without troubling the scorers, b Randolph Thompson, for his 1st duck of the season. It's the 8th of a long and distinguished career spanning 49 innings, enough to keep him lodged at 16th in the all-time standings — and a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell, though nobody is suggesting he's off anywhere just yet. Curiously, on this very day back in 1944, W Bunting (who played 1941–1963... sorry, 1941–1948) was doing exactly the same thing against KCC Maidstone. History, like the third slip catch, has a habit of repeating itself. Sunday 21 August — v Halfway House John Ames made it two ducks for the club in as many days, b Roger Mills at number seven, his 2nd of the season. That's career duck number 8 from 67 innings, good enough for 15th all-time. Ames arrives thoroughly decorated — four consecutive ducks in a row, a top-10 spot on the Homebody Duck standings for noughts collected on home soil, and shared Quacking Together honours with both Roy Clarke and Stan Wratten, plus an Only Two Quacks pairing with Alan Wilkes. Speaking of Wratten — on this same calendar date back in 1949, he was himself walking back for a duck against The Mote CC. Some partnerships, it seems, are written in the scorebook as well as the fixture list. Week in Summary A tidy two ducks from two matches — nothing spectacular, but a solid, dependable contribution to the season's tally, and a fine demonstration of the art of not scoring on consecutive days. 🦆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. John Thirkell — 6 ducks in 25 innings (24%) 2. William Blight — 3 ducks in 9 innings (33.33%) 3. Richard Harris — 3 ducks in 16 innings (18.75%) 4. Tony Snell — 2 ducks in 6 innings (33.33%) 5. John Abnett — 2 ducks in 7 innings (28.57%) Thirkell holds a commanding lead at the summit, but with Blight and Snell both quietly averaging a duck every third innings, this race is far from settled. More fixtures next week, and with them — inevitably — more nought. Bring your bat. Or don't bother, some say it's more fun that way. 🏏0️⃣🦆

A lone fixture took the field this week and, scandalously, not a single soul troubled the Duck Club recruitment desk. Eleven — or however many — batsmen strode out and every last one of them got off the mark. The zero club's doors stood open all afternoon and nobody walked through them. 0️⃣ A Fowl-Free Fixture One match, zero ducks. The purest form of anticlimax cricket has to offer. Somewhere a scorer sat with pencil poised for the dreaded nought and simply never got to use it. Consistency of a very particular kind — just not ours this week. We shan't pretend to be anything but disappointed. Still, the season is long and the art of not scoring is a skill few can resist forever. Normal service will, we are confident, resume shortly. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. John Thirkell — 6 ducks in 23 innings (26.09%) — the man to catch this season, and by some distance 2. William Blight — 3 ducks in 8 innings (37.5%) — the sharpest duck rate in the current top five 3. Richard Harris — 3 ducks in 15 innings (20.0%) 4. John Abnett — 2 ducks in 6 innings (33.33%) 5. Tony Snell — 2 ducks in 6 innings (33.33%) Thirkell holds a commanding lead at the top, but with Blight's rate what it is, one more soft dismissal could see the standings shuffle. Abnett and Snell sit locked together on two apiece — first to blink takes fourth on their own. 🦆 A quiet week for the Duck Club, but never fear — there's always another fixture, another new ball, another wide-eyed number eleven walking out to face it. The zero club never truly closes. See you all next weekend, bats raised in hope rather than expectation.

Two fixtures on the books this weekend, and the exclusive zero club welcomed exactly two new entries — both from the very same afternoon at the very same ground, which is either shocking bad luck or excellent company. 1st XI v Anchorians CC (Saturday 7 August) - William Buck opened the innings and departed for nought, bowled by B Mitchell — his 2nd duck of the season and 4th of his career, good enough for 52nd of 660 in the all-time table. He shares the Quacking Together honour with a certain John Thirkell, and today the pair made it literal, both falling in the same match. On this very day back in 1909, C Stevens was doing much the same against the Royal West Kent Regiment — some traditions refuse to die. - Batting at five, John Thirkell followed him back just as promptly, bowled by A Hart for his 6th duck of the summer and 32nd of a career that sits, remarkably, at #1 in the entire 660-strong all-time standings. Reigning Duck of the Year in 1952 and 1954, and defending the crown again in 1955, Thirkell is also a fixture of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens — a man who can manufacture a nought absolutely anywhere on the fixture list. Like Buck, he finds his own historical twin in C Stevens, who made his duck on this same August date in 1909. The Week in Noughts Two matches, two ducks, one shared scorecard of shame — Buck and Thirkell's joint failure at Anchorians is precisely the sort of Quacking Together moment the honours board exists to record. Elsewhere the ducks, mercifully, evaded capture entirely. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. John Thirkell — 6 ducks, 22 innings (27.3%) 2. William Blight — 3 ducks, 8 innings (37.5%) 3. Richard Harris — 3 ducks, 14 innings (21.4%) 4. John Abnett — 2 ducks, 5 innings (40.0%) 5. Tony Snell — 2 ducks, 6 innings (33.3%) Thirkell leads the chase for a fourth Duck of the Year crown, with Blight's blistering 37.5% strike rate lurking as the dark horse. Next fixture looms — the crease awaits, and so, inevitably, does the duck. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Three matches, three days, six ducks — the 1955 season proving as ungenerous as ever to Linton's top order. Every nought fell to the 1st XI this week, and Monday supplied a full house on its own. Saturday 30 July – Aylesford Paper Mills CC (away) R- Waters went early, bowled by R Baker for his first duck of the season and the second of a career now eleven innings deep — level with A S Day, who reached the same pair between 1944 and 1949. Waters is also a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell, though today was merely a rehearsal. Basil Sears followed, lbw to Brian Fridd, his first of the season but a seventh for the career column, now the 17th most decorated duck-collector on Linton's 660-name roll. He joins A Startup, who reached seven between 1868 and 1882, still holder of the club's five-in-a-row record. Sunday 31 July – Maidstone AKCC (home) Number eleven Tony Snell was bowled by David Sayer for his second duck of the season and fourth of a career already carrying the Ducks in a Row badge for four in succession. On this very day in 1895, Ernest Cruttenden also walked back for nought against Headcorn CC, en route to ten career ducks and that season's Duck of the Year crown. Monday 1 August – Lord Cornwallis XI (home) A red-letter day for the wrong reasons: three Linton wickets fell for nought in the same innings. Fittingly, on this date in 1910 the Reverend F A Leveson-Gower also made a duck, against Maidstone Conservative Club CC — a date apparently fated to repeat itself threefold. Opener William Buck went first, caught D- Reader bowled K- Goodwin, his third career duck from 136 innings and 73rd on the all-time list. John Thirkell followed, bowled G- Murray, for a fifth duck of the season — his all-time club record now 31, and Duck of the Year for a third time after 1952 and 1954. Buck and Thirkell share the club's Quacking Together honour, and earned it afresh falling together today. John Abnett completed the set, bowled F- Cornwallis, his second duck of the season and third from just seven innings — already boasting Ducks in a Row for four in succession. Six ducks, three matches, one thoroughly chastened top order. Monday's Lord Cornwallis collapse alone accounted for half the week's tally — a fine advertisement for the art of not scoring. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - John Thirkell — 5 ducks in 20 innings (25.0%) - William Blight — 3 ducks in 8 innings (37.5%) - Richard Harris — 3 ducks in 13 innings (23.08%) - John Abnett — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40.0%) - Tony Snell — 2 ducks in 6 innings (33.33%) Thirkell leads by daylight, though Abnett's 40% strike rate says the chasing pack has teeth. Next weekend's fixtures await — the ducks, no doubt, already limbering up. See you there. 🦆

A rare and faintly troubling occurrence to report this week: the ducks evaded capture entirely. One match played, eleven-plus batsmen sent to the crease, and not a single soul returned for nought. The zero club's membership committee sat idle. The honours board gathers no new names. Somewhere in the pavilion, a very particular kind of consistency has been interrupted, and the regulars will not know quite what to do with themselves. Let the record show: 24th July 1955, a day when Linton Park batted and, regrettably for the purposes of this report, batted competently. Even the usual suspects seem to have got off the mark. We can only assume they were saving themselves. 🕳️ A Quiet Week for the Art of Not Scoring No ducks means no fresh entries to the season standings below — but do not let that fool you into thinking the campaign has gone cold. The top of the table remains fiercely contested, and every one of these gentlemen will be back at the crease again soon enough, nought very much still on the cards. 🏆 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - John Thirkell — 4 ducks from 18 innings (22.22%) — holds the golden fleece for now - William Blight — 3 from 7 (42.86%) — the rate to fear, if not yet the total - Richard Harris — 3 from 11 (27.27%) — quietly accumulating - Bob Arnold — 2 from 7 (28.57%) — lurking - John --'s Taylor — 2 from 8 (25.0%) — rounding out the field William Blight's strike rate deserves a special mention here — 42.86% is the kind of number that makes a captain think twice before sending him in, and think twice again before taking him out. 📅 Looking Ahead A blank week is, of course, only ever a pause. The Duck Club does not retire its watch simply because one Sunday behaved itself. With Thirkell out in front and Blight breathing down his neck on percentage alone, the race for this season's crown is very much alive. We watch. We wait. The ducks will return. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Two fixtures, three ducks, and one bowler having an extremely good weekend at Linton Park's expense. 🏏 Saturday 16th — vs St Lukes (1st XI) D- Musgrave went hunting in the same innings and bagged a brace. First to fall was Tony Levick at first wicket down, snaffled behind off Musgrave for nought — his 1st duck of the summer and 3rd of a career now sitting at 68 innings, good enough (or bad enough) for 70th on the all-time list. Spookily, on this very day back in 1910 F S W Cornwallis was doing precisely the same thing against Maidstone CC — he finished his career with 6 to his name, one of only 24 players who've ever topped this particular table. Musgrave wasn't done. John Thirkell strode in at four and departed bowled, his 4th duck of the season and 30th of a career that stands, remarkably, at rank 1 of 659 — the undisputed reigning monarch of the exclusive zero club. This is Thirkell's third crack at Duck of the Year silverware after taking the crown in 1952 and 1954, and with four already banked in 1955 the trophy is very much back in play. He also holds down places on the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, and shares Quacking Together honours with both Bob Arnold and William Buck — a CV of failure most members can only dream of. Same historical company as Levick above: Cornwallis, 1910, Maidstone CC, still watching from 1885–1912. 🏏 Sunday 17th — vs J.G.Larking's (1st XI) Down at number 8, Bob Brigden was bowled by D- Goodliffe for a duck — his 1st of the season and, more notably, his 1st senior duck full stop, arriving in just his 4th innings for the club. A promising start to a most unpromising discipline, and he lands at 142nd on the all-time roll. On this same calendar date in 1867, T Gandy achieved the identical feat, and never troubled the scorers for more than a single duck across a career from 1865 to 1869. 📅 Week in Summary Three ducks from two matches, the entire haul claimed by the 1st XI, and Musgrave doing more damage with the ball than most bowlers manage in a month. St Lukes will remember this one fondly. Linton, perhaps, less so. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - John Thirkell — 17 inns, 4 ducks (23.5%) - William Blight — 7 inns, 3 ducks (42.9%) - Richard Harris — 11 inns, 3 ducks (27.3%) - Bob Arnold — 7 inns, 2 ducks (28.6%) - John --'s Taylor — 8 inns, 2 ducks (25.0%) Thirkell holds a commanding lead in the race for 1955 Duck of the Year, but with the season far from over there's still time for the chasing pack to close the gap. See you next weekend — the ducks never take a rest. 🍩0️⃣🦆

A quiet weekend by the standards of the exclusive zero club — two fixtures, and only one soul brave (or careless) enough to accept the invitation. Still, a duck's a duck, and this one carries some pedigree. 🏏 Saturday 9th July 1st XI v A.Trembeths (home) Batting at first drop, John --'s Taylor departed for nought, bowled by M- Dengate. It's his 2nd duck of the 1955 season and the 8th of a long and largely respectable career spanning 95 innings — good enough to sit 14th of 659 in the all-time table, a rank most club members would happily retire on. Splendidly, the calendar obliged with a coincidence worth toasting: on this very day back in 1902, F E Wallis also trudged off for a duck against Town Malling CC. Wallis, who turned out for Linton between 1887 and 1908, finished his career with 4 ducks and a place at 42nd all-time — plus a Duck of the Year gong in 1907 for good measure. Fifty-three years apart almost to the day, and the art of not scoring endures. 🌱 Sunday 10th July A blank sheet. Whoever took the field kept the club's less desirable statistics firmly at bay — a vegan affair, fowl-free from first ball to last. 📋 Week in Summary One duck from two matches is a modest return by Duck Club standards, but rarity has its own charm — Saturday's lone entry did all the work of narrating an entire weekend, and did it with a 53-year echo attached. Quality over quantity, as the saying nearly goes. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - William Blight — 3 ducks in 6 innings (50.00%) - Richard Harris — 3 ducks in 9 innings (33.33%) - John Thirkell — 3 ducks in 16 innings (18.75%) - Bob Arnold — 2 ducks in 6 innings (33.33%) - John --'s Taylor — 2 ducks in 7 innings (28.57%) William Blight sits atop the pile at a startling 50%, though with only six innings to his name there's still time for the chasing pack to close the gap. Richard Harris and Bob Arnold lurk with intent, and John Thirkell's volume game keeps him firmly in contention. The season presses on, and with it the eternal question — who among us will next be summoned to the crease, only to be summoned straight back off it? 🍩 0️⃣ Same time next week, same dubious distinction on offer. Get your names down for the next fixture — the Duck Club always has room for one more.

A quiet couple of days by the Club's usual standards, but the zero club never sleeps entirely — two fresh entries to report from the 1st XI across the weekend. 🏏 Saturday 2nd July — 1st XI away to Charles Arkcoll Batting at 7, G Hill departed c Jack Knowler b Gordon Fenner without troubling the scorers — and in doing so served notice of arrival in the most peculiar way a cricketer can. This was Hill's very first senior innings for the Club, which means it also doubles as his first duck, earning immediate and permanent membership of the Debutante Duck club. Rank 187 of 659 in the all-time charts, and every future run he scores can only improve matters from here. A tidy parallel presents itself in - Dampier, who sits on exactly the same solitary career duck (1952, one innings, one blob). Dampier's single nought earned him the rare treble of Debutante Duck, One and Done, and Retirement Duck all in the same afternoon — a hat-trick of ignominy the Club will be quietly hoping young Hill never completes. 🏏 Sunday 3rd July — 1st XI at home to S.Kimmins Next up, at number 3, John Ames fell lbw b Charlie Kenny for his first duck of the 1955 season — his 7th for the Club from 60 innings, good enough for 18th on the all-time list. Ames arrives already decorated: a Ducks in a Row veteran (four on the bounce, no less), a fixture of the Homebody Duck top ten fittingly enough given this one came at home, and a serial duck-sharer with past company from Alan Wilkes, Roy Clarke and Stan Wratten under the Quacking Together banner. Neatly enough, on this very calendar day back in 1954, none other than club legend John Thirkell also strolled back for nought — against the very same Charles Arkcoll who accounted for Hill twelve months later. Thirkell remains the undisputed king of the format: 29 career ducks, top of the all-time table, a three-time Duck of the Year (1952, 1954, 1955), and a permanent resident of the Lone Duck, Homebody Duck and Ducks on the Road top tens. Ames has some way to go yet. 📋 Week in Summary Two matches, two ducks, one apiece — a debutant and a seasoned campaigner sharing the honours. No pairs, no family affairs, and the ducks otherwise kept a respectful social distance from one another this week. 🍩 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 - William Blight — 3 ducks from 5 innings (60%) - Richard Harris — 3 ducks from 8 innings (37.5%) - John Thirkell — 3 ducks from 14 innings (21.43%) - Bob Arnold — 2 ducks from 5 innings (40%) - Bert Pierce — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) That's the lot for now — the season race stays tight at the top. Roll on the next fixture, when the willow will no doubt find new volunteers for the exclusive zero club. 🦆0️⃣

One match, one afternoon, and not a single soul persuaded to walk back for nought. The Duck Club can report, with a mixture of relief and mild disappointment, that the ducks evaded capture entirely this week. Every batsman at the crease found a way — however scrappy, however fortunate — to trouble the scorers. No golden ducks, no pairs, no king pairs, not so much as a whisper of a family affair. The exclusive zero club opened its doors this weekend and, for once, nobody turned up. Whether this reflects a sudden outbreak of competence at the crease or simply an off day for the bowling, the correspondent cannot say with confidence. Normal service — by which we mean abnormal service — is expected to resume shortly. The art of not scoring is a fickle mistress and she will be back. 🏏 Duck Hunting Season leaderboard — 1955 🥇 William Blight — 3 ducks from 4 innings (75%) 🥈 Richard Harris — 3 ducks from 7 innings (43%) 🥉 John Thirkell — 3 ducks from 12 innings (25%) 4. Bob Arnold — 2 ducks from 5 innings (40%) 5. Bert Pierce — 1 duck from 1 innings (100%) William Blight leads on raw ducks banked, though anyone chasing consistency need look no further than Bert Pierce, whose single innings has yielded a spotless 100% duck rate. One knock, one nought — that's not a slump, that's a statement of intent. 🍩 The ducks are out there somewhere, biding their time. Roll on the next fixture — 0️⃣ this club never rests until every last one is accounted for. See you at the crease.

A quiet weekend on the Duck Club front, with just two fixtures on the books and a single nought to its name — but what it lacked in numbers it made up for in standing. Saturday 18 June No fixtures troubled the honours board. Sunday 19 June — 1st XI vs Hambros Bank Coming in at nine, Richard Harris departed bowled by F Chapman, nudging his season tally to 3 ducks and, far more weightily, his career total to a formidable 22 — enough to sit 2nd all-time out of 657 names who have ever graced the Linton Duck Club roll. In 103 innings of service, Harris remains agonisingly one place off the summit; whoever currently occupies top spot would do well to check their mirrors. Fittingly, on this very date back in 1954, William Blight was doing exactly the same thing, falling for nought against Aylesford Paper Mills CC. Blight's own career haul of 7 places him 19th all-time — distinguished company for a shared calendar date, a full year apart. Week in Summary One duck from two matches — the poultry mostly evaded capture this weekend, content to let Richard Harris hold the stage alone. Still, a lone entry sitting at #2 all-time is worth more column inches than a dozen run-of-the-mill noughts. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 1. William Blight — 4 innings, 3 ducks (75%) 2. Richard Harris — 7 innings, 3 ducks (42.86%) 3. John Thirkell — 12 innings, 3 ducks (25%) 4. Bob Arnold — 5 innings, 2 ducks (40%) 5. Bert Pierce — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) Special mention to Bert Pierce, who maintains a flawless 100% duck rate from his solitary innings so far — the platonic ideal of consistency, of a very particular kind. Next weekend's fixtures await, and with them, no doubt, fresh recruits to the exclusive zero club. Bring your bats — and your ducks. 🦆🏏0️⃣

A quiet weekend for the executioner's block — only one soul answered the call this time, but he did so with proper pedigree. Saturday — 1st XI away at Headcorn CC Batting at number ten, Bob Arnold fell c G Gore b R Woodward for nought. Not a golden duck, mind — he saw off at least a ball before the edge came — but a duck all the same, and a significant one: his 2nd of the 1955 season and a remarkable 15th of his Linton career, which vaults him to 3rd on the all-time list of 657. Bob remains a fixture of the "Ducks in a Row" board for a run of four consecutive noughts, and turns up twice more in the pairing honours — "Only Two Quacks" alongside Alan Wilkes, and "Quacking Together" with none other than John Thirkell, who happens to be sat top of this very season's chart. There's a neat echo across the decades too — on this very date in 1902, one Tom Peach Jnr also trudged off for a duck, against Town Malling CC. Peach, who played 1902–1910, finished his career with 5 ducks (33rd of 657) and the 1902 Duck of the Year crown, and tonight keeps Bob company across 53 years of shared ignominy. Week in Summary One match, one duck — but a quality one. Bob shoulders the whole club's ration singlehandedly this week, and does it with style, climbing to 3rd on the all-time podium in the process. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 - William Blight — 3 ducks in 4 innings (75%) - John Thirkell — 3 ducks in 10 innings (30%) - Bob Arnold — 2 ducks in 5 innings (40%) - Richard Harris — 2 ducks in 6 innings (33%) - Bert Pierce — 1 duck in 1 innings (100%) Only Bob troubled the scorers this week — or rather, failed to. Plenty of room left on the honours board, gentlemen. The next fixture is never far away, and neither, ominously, are the ducks. 🦆🏏0️⃣

Two fixtures, three ducks, and the exclusive zero club welcomes its latest inductees into the art of not scoring. Let's get into it. 🏏 Saturday 4th June — Birkenhead Grasshoppers CC (h) Frank Taylor strode out at five and was lbw to J Cartland without denting his side's total — his 1st duck of the season and 2nd of an otherwise perfectly respectable 93-innings career, tucking him in at 86th of 657 in the club's all-time roll of dishonour. A neat footnote for the calendar-watchers: on this very day back in 1898, C S Smith (1898–1901, 3 career ducks, 55th all-time, Duck of the Year 1898) was also trudging back against Sutton Valence School. Some traditions never die. 🍩 Sunday 5th June — St Georges (h) Two more names added to the ledger, top and tail of the order. J- Coomber, in at 3, was bowled by C Martin for nought — his 1st duck of the season and, in just his 3rd senior innings, his 1st career duck, landing him 218th of 657. Down at 10, Tony Snell went the same way, also bowled C Martin, for his 1st duck of the season and 3rd of his career from 19 innings, good enough for 70th all-time. Tony already carries a place on the "Ducks in a Row" honours board for a four-in-a-row spell of uninterrupted failure some years back — this latest nought merely tips the hat to former glories. Both Coomber and Snell share a splendid quirk of the calendar: on this same day in 1943, Stan Wratten (1943–1955, 9 career ducks, 12th all-time, "Quacking Together" with John Ames) was also out for nought, against RAF Sutton Valence. The ducks of 1955 keep good historical company. 📋 Week in Summary Three ducks from two matches, all courtesy of the 1st XI, all bowled or lbw, and not a golden duck among them — every victim this week at least had the decency to survive a ball before the inevitable arrived. Consistency of a very particular kind. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard - William Blight — 3 ducks / 3 innings (100%) - John Thirkell — 3 ducks / 9 innings (33.3%) - Richard Harris — 2 ducks / 5 innings (40%) - Bert Pierce — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) - Clive Smith — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) William Blight sits top of the pile with a flawless record, three from three — the purest form of triumph through adversity. Plenty of season left for anyone hoping to catch him. 🦆 The zero club never sleeps. Next fixture, who's joining the honours board?

Two matches, three ducks, and the 1st XI cornering the market on ignominy this week — a monopoly worth savouring. 🏏 Saturday 29th May — Folkestone CC Clive Smith departed early at number three, caught and bowled by Andrew Miles without troubling the scorers. It's his 1st club duck from 4 innings, installing him at 158th of 657 in the all-time reckoning — a foothold in the exclusive zero club, if not yet a residence. Keen students of the calendar will note that on this very day in 1937, E Hayes made a duck of his own against one Charles Arkcoll — Hayes went on to claim Duck of the Year honours in both 1937 and 1939, so Clive keeps distinguished company on the anniversary front, even if the company is 18 years his senior. 🏏 Sunday 30th May — Marden CC, Kent Two more fell at Marden, and the headline act needs no introduction. John Thirkell, reigning Duck of the Year for 1955 — a title he already held in 1952 and 1954 besides — was caught by F Day off the bowling of L Gurr for his third duck of the season and 29th of an extraordinary career spanning 159 innings. He remains unassailable at the summit of the all-time list, a fixture of the Ducks on the Road, Homebody Duck and Lone Duck top tens, and a founding member of the Quacking Together set alongside both Bob Arnold and William Buck. Cruelly, on this same date in 1943, Frank Sutton also made a duck, against Home Guard - D Company, en route to 14 career ducks and two Duck of the Year titles of his own — a fittingly grand shadow for Thirkell's latest addition. Further down the order, L Skinner was bowled by J Honess without scoring, his first duck of the season and fourth of his career from just 8 innings, good for 46th all-time. Skinner is a paid-up member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell — no danger of that this week, merely another nought for the pile. He shares his calendar duck with the very same Frank Sutton of 1943 vintage that shadowed Thirkell hours earlier — Marden CC, it seems, breeds coincidence as readily as ducks. 📋 Week in Summary Three ducks from two matches, and Marden CC did the double, claiming two of Linton's finest inside a single innings. The 1st XI carried the full weight of the club's failures this week — the 2nds, 3rds and beyond escaped entirely unscathed, or simply weren't watching closely enough. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. William Blight — 3 innings, 3 ducks (100%) 2. John Thirkell — 8 innings, 3 ducks (37.5%) 3. Richard Harris — 4 innings, 2 ducks (50%) 4. Bert Pierce — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 5. Clive Smith — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) William Blight sits perfect and untouchable atop the table — three from three is not a slump, it's a philosophy. Thirkell presses hard from second, and with the season young there's plenty of scope for him to add to a total most clubs couldn't match in a lifetime. Next fixture looms, the zero club never sleeps, and someone out there is already shaping up for their own nought. Bring your bat and your sense of humour. 🦆🍩0️⃣

Saturday 21st brought Gore Court CC to Linton Park, and this one turned into a proper twin strike for the visiting attack. John Thirkell fell for his 2nd duck of the season, bowled P Bradley at four. Not that it troubles him much — Thirkell sits an imperious #1 of 655 in the all-time standings, now on 28 career ducks from 158 innings, and is already the reigning Duck of the Year for 1955, adding to titles held in 1952 and 1954. A fixture in both the Homebody Duck and Ducks on the Road top tens, the man ducks with equal enthusiasm whichever ground he's on, with shared duck history alongside Bob Arnold and William Buck already carved into the honours board. Truly the club's foremost practitioner of the art of not scoring. Bradley wasn't finished. Richard Harris followed at eight, also bowled, also for his 2nd of the season — the same ball, near enough, claiming the club's #2 all-time duck accumulator. Harris now stands on 21 career ducks from 99 innings, breathing down Thirkell's neck for top spot. Two of the club's most decorated non-scorers, dismissed by the same bowler in the same innings — Bradley may want a word with his agent. Sunday took the 1st XI away to Halfway House, where John Abnett departed for 1, caught T Ades off Roger Mills at nine. His first duck of the season and only his 2nd in a fledgling 3-innings career, though he's already building a habit — a paid-up member of the Ducks in a Row club with four consecutive noughts to his name. Neatly enough, on this very day back in 1943, N- Parr also strolled back for nought, that time against Bearsted CC. Some things never change. 📊 Week in Summary Three ducks from two matches, all courtesy of the 1st XI, and Gore Court's bowlers doing the damage in a genuine team effort against Linton's top two all-time duck men. Halfway House needed only Roger Mills to complete the set. 🥇 Duck Hunting Season Leaderboard 1. William Blight — 3 ducks / 3 innings (100%) 2. Richard Harris — 2 ducks / 3 innings (66.67%) 3. John Thirkell — 2 ducks / 7 innings (28.57%) 4. Bert Pierce — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) 5. John Abnett — 1 duck / 1 innings (100%) Blight sits imperiously atop the season standings on a flawless record, but with the campaign young, plenty of time yet for the field to close in. See you all next week — the ducks, as ever, will be waiting. 🦆🍩

A short but perfectly formed weekend for the Duck Club, courtesy of a brisk double-header against Gore Court CC and Mote A. Three ducks recorded, one man doing rather more than his fair share of the damage. Saturday 14 May — Gore Court CC (away) The top order came under sustained assault from P Bradley, who claimed two Linton wickets without troubling the scorers once. William Blight departed at first drop, bowled by Bradley for nought — his 2nd duck of the season and the 6th of an ongoing career now standing at 43 innings, 19th in the club's all-time table of dubious distinction. On this very day back in 1951, E Goodall marked their one and only Linton innings with a duck against Marden — a debut duck that proved also to be a farewell, the rare Debutante-Duck-and-Retirement-Duck double in a single afternoon. Next man in fared no better. John Thirkell followed his colleague back to the pavilion for his 1st duck of the season — but the 27th of an extraordinary career across 156 innings, a tally that makes John the outright #1 name in the entire 655-strong Linton duck ledger. A three-time Duck of the Year already, 1952 and 1954 among his honours, and very much the pace-setter for the 1955 crown too. Fittingly, the same E Goodall cameo from 1951 stands as his historical echo — proof that even a single duck earns a place alongside the club's most prolific offender. Sunday 15 May — Mote A (away) William Blight was back at it a day later, stumped down the leg side off P Bryant for his 3rd duck of the season and 7th of his career — completing a grim weekend pair, out twice in as many days without so much as a boundary to show for it. On this day in 1948, Sessions suffered similarly against Herne Bay CC, a duck that earned them that year's Duck of the Year honours — modest company, but company nonetheless. Week in Summary Two matches, three ducks, one thoroughly put-upon batting order. P Bradley can chalk up his afternoon at Gore Court as a triumph of a very particular kind, and William Blight leaves the weekend newly inducted into back-to-back futility. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🥇 - William Blight — 3 innings, 3 ducks (100%) - Bert Pierce — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) - Bob Arnold — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) - J Donovan — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) - Richard Harris — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) Blight sits alone atop the table on a flawless — if inverted — record. Whether anyone can dethrone him before June remains very much to be seen. 🍩 Next fixture looms, and with it no doubt further additions to the roll of honour. The Duck Club never sleeps. 0️⃣🦆

The 1955 campaign is up and running, and the exclusive zero club has wasted no time adding to its membership roll. Two fixtures, three ducks, and the art of not scoring already alive and well at Linton Park. Saturday 7 May — away to Bearsted CC First blood of the season went to William Blight, undone at number three, caught Gordon A Hawkins bowled Peter Longley. His fifth career duck from 41 innings, good enough for 35th on the all-time list, and it sets him level with Allan Peach, who reached the same total in a positively economical 11 innings across 1903–1907 🥇. Blight, it seems, prefers to take the scenic route to his ducks. He wasn't alone. J Donovan, in at five, was lbw to Thomas Benger for his first career duck — one from two innings, and straight in at 203rd on the all-time list. He joins the little-known "- Dampier", a 1952 one-and-done man whose solitary Linton innings ended in a duck and never got a second chance — a Debutante Duck and Retirement Duck rolled into one unfortunate afternoon. Donovan, mercifully, gets to come back and try again. Sunday 8 May — home to West Farleigh CC Tony Tipples kept the family tradition going, caught G Tomkinson bowled George Reffell at number five for his second career duck from 16 innings 🍩. On this very day in 1954, club legend Richard Harris was also walking back for nought — Harris finished with 20 career ducks and sits an imperious 2nd on the all-time list, so Tipples is in fine, if fowl, company. Week in summary 📋 Two matches, three ducks, all courtesy of the 1st XI. No pairs, no golden ducks, no family affairs this week — just three gentlemen quietly extending the club's oldest and proudest tradition: consistency of a very particular kind. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard 🏆 1. Bert Pierce — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 2. Bob Arnold — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 3. Tony Tipples — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 4. William Blight — 1 innings, 1 duck (100%) 5. J Donovan — 2 innings, 1 duck (50%) Four names locked at a flawless 100% early doors — plenty of season left for someone to spoil the perfect record, or for a new challenger to arrive and claim it for themselves. 🏏 See you all next weekend — the ducks are out there, and Linton Park's finest will be doing their level best to find them. 🦆0️⃣

The 1955 Duck Hunting season is up and running, and West Farleigh CC away proved fertile hunting ground for the exclusive zero club. Four names went into the book in a single innings, and Ron Kemp did the damage on three of them — a proper triple strike for the corridor of uncertainty. 🏏 1st XI — West Farleigh CC (away) John --'s Taylor, in at three, was trapped lbw by Ron Kemp. Duck number one of the season and the 7th of a growing career (89 innings, 17th on the all-time list of 655) — he joins A Startup on that tally, whose own 7 came in a brisk 11 innings across an 1868–1902 career that also yielded three separate Duck of the Year titles and a Ducks in a Row honour for five on the bounce. Some standards to not live up to. Bert Pierce, at eight, contrived to be dismissed hit wicket off E- Maitland — a method of departure with a certain flair for self-sabotage. His 3rd career duck from 15 innings puts him 53rd of 655 all-time, level with A Kent, the 1893 vintage who took Duck of the Year that very season. Bert is also a long-standing member of the Retirement Duck club from a past farewell — nothing so final today, just a quiet walk back to the pavilion. Ron Kemp's over of infamy then claimed two more. Bob Arnold, at ten, was bowled for his 14th career duck in 65 innings — a rarefied 3rd on the all-time table of 655 — level with Frank Sutton, the 1925–1949 stalwart who twice won Duck of the Year and reached 14 in 62 innings. Bob himself carries a well-stocked honours cabinet: Ducks in a Row (four consecutive), Only Two Quacks (with Alan Wilkes) and Quacking Together (with John Thirkell). And last man Richard Harris completed the rout, bowled by Kemp for his 20th career duck from 97 innings — remarkably the club's 2nd-highest all-time duck-getter of 655. When you're that close to the summit, no parallel is needed. 📊 Week in Summary One match, four ducks, and Ron Kemp claimed three of them — the sort of spell that has opposition scorers reaching for a second pencil. All four fell in the same West Farleigh innings, proof that misery loves company. Duck Hunting Season leaderboard - Richard Harris — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Bob Arnold — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - John --'s Taylor — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% - Bert Pierce — 1 innings, 1 duck, 100% Four names locked at a flawless 100% to open the campaign — early days yet, and plenty of cricket left for someone to spoil their average. See you at the next fixture, when the hunt resumes. 🦆🍩0️⃣